Orlando Weekly July 30, 2014 Best Of Orlando by Chava Communications

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Cardboard controversy I spent seven years living under a bridge at Colonial and Amelia (“Locally made ‘Cardboard Stories’ homelessness video goes viral,” July 22, blogs. orlandoweekly.com). My favorite places were Parramore and Livingston because the crack was easy to find and purchase. I was homeless because crack cocaine was the most important thing in the world to me. Others are homeless because they are lazy. Most of these homeless are either crackheads or lazy and will rob you blind. BTW, I own a business, am married and have three children now. This isn’t because someone helped me for being homeless, it’s because I got off my lazy ass and quit smoking crack. I’d conservatively say that more than 50 percent of the homeless (and I know most of them personally!) are lazy, ignorant, criminal crackheads and will remain so no matter what you do. If you are homeless in America, then you are empty in the head. Charles Allen, via orlandoweekly.com

Publisher Graham Jarrett editor Erin Sullivan

EDITORIAL Arts & Culture editor Jessica Bryce Young AssoCiAte A editor Ashley Belanger Ate seNior st stAFF Writer Billy Manes CAleNdAr editor Brendan O’Connor Web editor Jacki Mick CoPy editor Thaddeus McCollum iNterNs Lauren Ball, Stephanie Garcia, Kaleb Quast

ADVERTISING AdvertisiNg direCtor Matthew Gull ACCouNt MANAger Jerrica Schwartz seNior sAles exeC Dan Winkler retA et il sAles exeCs Jon Bowers, Dave Freedman, etA Matt Whiting, Candice Andrews, Eddie Smith ClAssiFied liNe exeC Jerrica Schwartz MArketiNg/ProMotioNs Andreina Icaza MArketiNg/ProMotioNs iNterNs Daniela Diaz, Leanne Leuterio, Leif Morton

CREATIVE CreAtive A Ative direCtor Adam McCabe ProduCtioN MANAger Shelby Sloan grAPhiC desigNer Alex Clark, Bradley Lynch

BUSINESS MANAger Elizabeth Hubbard Assist ts Alma Hill, Veronica Solorzano AssistAN

CIRCULATION MANAger Fabio Aranguibel

NATIONAL ADVERTISING voiCe MediA grouP 1-800-278-9866

EUCLID MEDIA GROUP regioNAl Publisher Michael Wagner

CONTRIBUTORS Christopher Balogh, Rob Bartlett, Audrey Bergquist, Rob Boylan, Justin Braun, Matt Gorney, James Greene Jr., Paul Hiebing, Scott Horn, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Katherine Ramirez Massey, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Dave Plotkin, Richard Reep, Steve Schneider, Andrew Spear CoPyright Pyright 2014, OrlandO P O Weekly, Weekly, All rights reserved. Orlando Weekly is a wholly owned subsidiary of Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising and business correspondence should be mailed to 1505 E. Colonial Drive, Orlando, FL, 32803.

ORLANDO WEEKLY INC. 1505 E. Colonial Drive, Suite 200, Orlando, FL 32803; 407-377-0400 • 407-377-0420, fax • 407-377-0415, classified orlandoweekly.com

COVER PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT DESiGn BY ADAM MCCABE

news & features 8 Happytown Gov. Rick Scott won’t take federal money for railroads, but he’ll support private companies that will; Planned Parenthood will fight injunction keeping it from performing medical procedures at its new Kissimmee office

11 Best of Orlando 2014 15 Best Superhero We Can Call Our Own 17 Local Color 37 Goods & Services 57 Food & Drink

calendar 156 Selections 158 The Week 159 Down the Road 159 Drinking, Nightlife and Parties

back pages 179 Free Will Astrology 179 Lulu Eightball

87 Arts & Culture

179 This Modern World

111 Music & Nightlife

180 Savage Love

141 Sports & Recreation

181 Classifieds

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God helps people who help themselves. I believe we need to be there to help, but I am also realistic enough to know that many don’t really want the help. Do you know how many times I have read the sign “will work for money/food,” and I have tried to either give them a job or food only to be laughed off? In my life, two people have actually taken the food – a poor woman in Mexico City with a child (leftover pizza) and two guys in New Orleans who ate half of a sandwich and the remaining part of my soda. I know two people that are homeless that continue to choose the lifestyle that does not move them ahead; neither is a crack addict nor has a mental disability. They really choose not to get a job or live on the “grid.” I support Habitat for Humanity because they have to help build the house they get versus just giving it without having a vested interest. I found the video interesting, but there is more to each of those stories. I am all for helping people when they are also choosing to help themselves. Carina, via orlandoweekly.com

Got something to add? Email feedback@orlandoweekly.com. First Words compiles emails, letters and comments from orlandoweekly.com. We reserve the right to edit for length, content and clarity.

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NEWS & FEATURES

“Here’s my experience in business. If you enter into a project where it’s not a good transaction for the other side it always comes back to be a problem for you. My concern with [highspeed rail] is, you look at the ridership studies, and I don’t think there’s any way anyone’s going to get a return.”

$3 billion

Projected cost of the Sabal Trail Transmission natural gas pipeline connecting Alabama to a hub south of Orlando; Scott owned a $53,000 stake in Spectra Energy, which was chosen by Florida Power and Light to build the pipeline, as of December 2013

– Gov. Rick Scott in 2011 upon rejecting federal funding for high-speed rail in February 2011 Regardless of logic or video evidence or any sense of character judgment, Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s Kevlar costuming and dilated pupils have thus far held him in inexplicable immunity from sensible recourse (cough, November, Wouldn’t it be grand – as we cough), even when his own devices seem to splash around in our superhero-soaked annual be malfunctioning. That $1.7 billion fraud cesspool of superlatives, pointing our fingers fine for Medicare misdeeds was an oppoand screaming “best!” at site-day election boon! those things that tickle The failure to push for our fanciest of fancies Medicaid expansion – if we didn’t have to look (even after dragging his down past our knees and personal story of familAmount Gov. Rick Scott rejected shake our heads in the ial loss in front of the in federal money for high-speed general direction of an camera) hasn’t elicited rail in 2011; the rail initiative was administration built on nearly the outrage that projected to bring 27,000 jobs to the worst of behaviors? a pile of dead bodthe state Like, what if we could ies should. All the scream from the top of policies, all the evasion, solar panels to a field of have only seemed to wind turbines that, hallelujah, the Sunshine embolden the antagonist in this passionless State is doing just fine, thank you very much. political play. What’s it going to take to free But we can’t, and you’re not, because our chrome-domed antihero from the shackles everything is terrible. of Republican context and expose him for the

A scandal runs through it

$2.4 billion

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uniquely unqualified public servant he really is? How’s about a speeding train and a potentially explosive pipeline problem? Back in 2010, when everybody (including President Barack Obama) was shouting “infrastructure” like it was the New Deal up in here, Scott was making his signature case that anything that comes with federal funding attached to it is likely covered in cooties and therefore not worth your consideration. There won’t be profits for anyone involved if we move forward with a high-speed rail that might give 27,000 people jobs that they desperately need, even if the government is willing to pay up $2.4 billion to make it so. Oh, how we gasped with incredulity back then. So loud was our dismay that we couldn’t even hear the other train screeching by. In what can only be referred to from here on out as a chief-of-staff square dance, Scott’s buddy (and chief of staff as of 2012) Adam Hollingsworth was dosey-doing everything he could to oil the tracks for another private

rail endeavor, All Aboard Florida, as early as 2010. Hollingsworth’s interests were not at all in the public interests, just as riding a train from Miami to Orlando that takes more than three hours (and lands you at the airport) isn’t exactly in the public’s interest. But the real issue is whether Hollingsworth was directing policy – via access to Scott, who continues to call All Aboard Florida a private venture when it will indeed filter public

$1.5 billion

Amount All Aboard Florida – a private train enterprise connecting Miami to Orlando – is seeking in federal loans and state grants; $213 million in state money is earmarked for a terminal at Orlando International Airport CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

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money into private pockets – for his own gain. “The governor already has a hypocritical record on rail, and he owes Floridians some straight answers,” the Tampa Bay Times opined in a harsh editorial last week. (That answer, undoubtedly, will sound a lot like “jobs!” should it ever come.) Likewise, when the governor allegedly stripped himself of his blind-trust (!) garb and went all transparent last month with his finances, the fine-toothed-combs over at investigative website Broward Bulldog found some more mysteriously traveling dollars, only this time underground. Scott’s love of utility company exploitation isn’t always news – not even when said utilities are fleecing customers for nonexistent nuclear reactors – but this time, Scott’s financials showed him to be financially connected to Spectra Energy to the tune of $53,000. Spectra Energy is partnered with Florida Power and Light’s parent company in bringing you the Sabal Trail Transmission LLC, which, for a mere $3 billion, will be pushing natural gas from Alabama down to just south of Orlando. And the profits are about to come rolling in, if Scott’s apparent scheme works out. According to the Bulldog, the pipeline sailed through legislative approval and through the Scott-appointed Florida Public Service Commission just last year. You know, like greased lightning. Let’s hope this scandal doesn’t catch fire, right? (Wrong.)

Don’t Kissimmee Because some flash mob of errant Kissimmee physicians and the extremists who love them need to find a new hobby (lobby), last week an Osceola County judge granted a temporary injunction to block the new Planned Parenthood of Greater Orlando facility in Kissimmee’s Oak Commons medical community from doing its job: providing reproductive care for women and men. The move wasn’t a terrible surprise. When we covered the initial opening of the center back in April, there were already protests (and suspicious “Christian” packages) threatening to block the office, initially by pressuring city officials. That didn’t work. So in early July, there was a civil trial at which doctors surrounding the new location (which is near Osceola Regional Medical Center) – along with representatives from Planned Parenthood – fought the merits of the case. Essentially, via a copy of the initial complaint obtained by Happytown, those complaints seemed laughable. The complaining coalition, known as MMB Properties, argued that Planned Parenthood was operating in 10

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violation of Oak Commons’ Declaration of Restrictions (as written ages ago by the developer). Specifically, the restrictions forbade medical imaging (even though the same space used to be run by an OB/GYN), emergency care (which Planned Parenthood provides through Plan B pills) and operating a surgery center. The last of those is particularly interesting when you consider that the Florida Statutes do not refer to abortion providers as surgery centers – “a facility existing for the primary purpose of performing terminations of pregnancy, an office maintained by a physician for the practice of medicine, or an office maintained for the practice of dentistry shall not be construed to be an ambulatory surgical center,” the statute reads – so either the judge doesn’t understand statutory law or there are some semantics being played with here. But probably the most absurd development found in the complaint is that Planned Parenthood is guilty of, effectively, being a public nuisance that doesn’t live up to neighborhood standards. Why? Because of the protests the clinic attracts. Local television media went a little hogwild on the story, skipping past any of the real particulars and allowing the offended doctors to run the show with salacious quotes. “You can look out the windows of labor and delivery and you can see women walking into and out of an abortion clinic,” “family” Dr. John Littell told WKMG 6 News. Also disconcerting, beyond the bomb threats, was the fact that “family” Dr. Jose Fernandez piped in with, “I think this is a win for life,” according to CFNews13. Littell runs J.M.J. (Jesus Mary Joseph) Family Practice, which moonlights as a crisis pregnancy center. Wonder where those offending protests are coming from, angels? PPGO chief executive officer Jenna Tosh says that, despite the “medical” machinations at work here, the war isn’t over. “Since we opened our Kissimmee Health Center, we have been busy providing needed preventive healthcare, including well-woman exams, birth control, STD testing and treatment, and more. Our focus is on the tens of thousands of patients who come to us for high-quality, affordable health care every year,” she says in an email. “This is far from over. We plan to immediately appeal this decision and will do everything in our power to make sure that women have access to a full range of health services in Osceola County. Women need a place to go for quality, affordable and nonjudgmental care. Planned Parenthood is that place – and we will continue to be. Our doors are open today and they will be open tomorrow.”

happytown@orlandoweekly.com

NEWS & FEATURES

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ALL PHOTOS BY ROB BARTLETT, EXCEPT FOR ORLANDO CITY SOCCER BACKGROUND IMAGE BY MARK THOR

CITY HALL

NUBE NOVE SALON

OBLIVION TAPROOM

ORLANDO MUSEUM OF ART

AMERICAN PARTY MACHINE

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Best Superhero w we Can Call our own Master Legend

Maybe you’ve seen him on the street in downtown Orlando, distributing food and supplies to the homeless or patrolling in his big white van, keeping an eye out for people who are up to no good. Or perhaps you’ve only heard about him, or read about him in Rolling Stone a few years back. He’s larger than life – a superhero Orlando can call its own. Master Legend, who grew up in New Orleans, says he started on the path to superhero in second grade, when he learned to fight off bullies. “I was a badly abused and starved kid,” he says. “Most of the kids did not like me, and I only fit in with fellow abused kids that got it at school and at home.” One day, he says, he came across some comics in a trashcan, and though he says he couldn’t read all the words, he realized that becoming a superhero was his calling. “I made myself a mask and a shirt with an emblem on it, and the superhero was born,” he says. “I finally felt alive. I felt like I had a purpose, and it was to help others.” And that’s exactly what Master Legend does. He was commended in 2004 by the Orange County Sheriff’s Office for assisting people in need during the aftermath of Hurricane Charley, and today he spends a lot of his time (when he’s not working at his mild-mannered day job) giving away food, toiletries and other necessities to homeless individuals and “tearing down the walls of greed.” When asked what the best thing about being a superhero is, Master Legend simply says: “I get to be me.” When asked to tell us what he thinks is the best thing about Orlando, he says: “The real, honest, hardworking people out there. Without them, Orlando could not exist.” We couldn’t agree more. 12

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Best of Orlando 2014 was written by Lauren Ball, Ashley Belanger, Stephanie Garcia, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Billy Manes, Adam McCabe, Thaddeus McCollum, Brendan O’Connor, Kaleb Quast, Richard Reep, Erin Sullivan and Jessica Bryce Young. The section-opener photos of Master Legend and all of the venue shots were taken by local photographer Rob Bartlett (except for the image of Orlando City Soccer taken by Mark Thor, which was provided to us by the team). Adam McCabe art-directed and designed the issue.

We hope you have as much fun reading it as we had putting it together. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL Best kept secret 1. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, tomanddan.com 2. Hanson’s Shoe Repair, 27 E. Pine St., 407-476-9446, hansonsshoerepair.com 3. The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., 407-332-9636, facebook. com/a.comic.shop

Best Guilty pleasure 1. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, tomanddan.com 2. Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt, various locations, menchies.com 3. FUNdamentals of Improv, Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd., 407-835-7323, ocls.info

Best local activist Group 1. Animal Rights Foundation of Florida, animalrightsflorida.org 2. Food Not Bombs, foodnotbombs.net 3. Equality Florida, eqfl.org

Best local charitaBle Group 1. Give Kids the World, gktw.org 2. Second Harvest Food Bank, foodbankcentralflorida.org 3. Mustard Seed, mustardseedfla.org

Best local weBsite 1. orlandoweekly.com 2. tomanddan.com 3. bungalower.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF SUNRAIL

Best local tv news channel 1. WESH-2 News, wesh.com 2. WFTV-9 News, wftv.com 3. CFNews-13, mynews13.com

Best local tv newsperson 1. Martha Sugalski, WESH-2 News 2. Amy Sweezey, WESH-2 News 3. Bob Opsahl, WFTV-9 News

Best squirrel

Tie the SunRail mascot He’s shifty and nervous, with big bug eyes and a bandaged, broken tail (which, you’ll learn if you watch enough of his YouTube videos, is the result of some careless behavior on the train tracks). We think he might be suffering from PTSD, and he spends his time yelling at people to STOP before they cross the tracks and warning kids that what happened to him could happen to them if they play too close to the tracks. Tie is an alarmist, a basket case and he’s almost certainly suffering from an anxiety disorder, and for these reasons (and more) we adore him. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL

Best proof that the orlando expressway authority was insanely corrupt Insane corruption at Orlando Expressway Authority

As if you had any doubt that the long-embattled Orlando-Orange County Expressway Authority had serious issues, this year the board of the organization went out of its way to make sure everybody knew just how troubled it was. In May, State Attorney Jeff Ashton released more than 500 pages worth of evidence indicating that the powerful people who ran the authority used it as their plaything. They pushed lucrative contracts to friends, held secret meetings at local bars where they came up with plans to take control of the board, and bullied those who didn’t walk in tandem with their plans. Authority board member Scott Batterson was indicted on bribery charges in relation to the report in April, and former state Rep. Chris Dorworth and board member Rebekah Hammond were both indicted for violating the state’s Sunshine Laws. In May, another board member, Marco Peña, resigned from his seat on the board and pled guilty to a misdemeanor in exchange for his testimony about the authority’s malfeasance. Shocked? Don’t be. This kind of thing has gone on at the Expressway Authority practically since it was founded in the 1960s. This year’s antics, however, finally led to its abolishment. 20

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Best local BiG shot 1. Daniel Dennis, twitter.com/ danieldennis 2. John Morgan, Morgan & Morgan 3. Jim Philips, WTKS Real Radio 104.1 FM

Best local BloG 1. tomanddan.com 2. bungalower.com 3. scottjosephorlando.com

Best local politician 1. Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer 2. Congressman Alan Grayson 3. Orlando Commissioner Patty Sheehan

Best local politician in need of a reality check 1. Gov. Rick Scott 2. Congressman Alan Grayson 3. Mayor Buddy Dyer

Best local puBlication 1. Orlando Weekly 2. Orlando Sentinel 3. Edible Orlando

Best local radio personality 1. Jim Philips, The Philips Phile, WTKS 104.1 FM 2. Johnny Magic, WXXL 106.7 FM 3. Daniel Dennis, A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, tomanddan.com

Best local radio station 1. WTKS 104.1 FM 2. WPRK 91.5 FM 3. WXXL 106.7 FM

Best local radio show 1. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, tomanddan.com 2. The Philips Phile, WTKS 104.1 FM 3. Baumann and Big Joe, WRSO 810 AM

Best local twitter feed 1. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, @amediocretime 2. The SBK Live Show, @SBKLive 3. Daniel Dennis, @danieldennis

Best local faceBook paGe 1. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, facebook.com/ amediocre.time 2. Orlando Weekly, facebook.com/orlandoweekly 3. Bungalower, facebook.com/ orlandobungalower

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READERS POLL

Best republican Marionette

Orange County Commissioner Fred Brummer

Best Grand exit

Daisy Lynum calling Patty Sheehan “asinine” at her last City Council meeting

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Best wet explosion

The demolition of the lower bowl at Citrus Bowl Though it has spent most of its time since 2007 as the unwanted third child of the $1.1 billion venues trifecta, the $200 million Citrus Bowl renovation – in which the entire lower bowl would be demolished and re-created like magic with fewer seats – gained some necessary momentum in January when Mayor Buddy Dyer and the rest of the local booster suits and skirts trudged through the playing-field muck to watch the anticlimax of part of a building collapsing in the rain. Not even the dulcet tones of AC/DC or the dampened spirits of rainy-day fireworks could take away the majesty of yet another questionable Orlando foray into explosives. Dyer used the opportunity to show the future stadium’s versatility, according to the Orlando Sentinel. It did “prove that we could host a Super Bowl,” Dyer wished aloud.

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1. Scott Maxwell, Orlando Sentinel 2. Billy Manes, Orlando Weekly 3. Dave Plotkin, Orlando Weekly

Best people watchinG 1. Downtown Orlando at night 2. Walt Disney World 3. Park Avenue in Winter Park

Best neiGhBorhood to live in 1. Thornton Park 2. College Park 3. Mills 50

Best Main street district 1. Mills 50, mills50.org 2. Thornton Park, thorntonparkdistrict.com 3. College Park, collegeparkpartnership.com

Best place to take visitors froM out of town 1. Park Avenue, Winter Park 2. Wekiva River 3. Walt Disney World

Best reason to live in orlando 1. The weather 2. The people 3. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan

Best reason to leave orlando 1. Traffic/I-4 2. Russ Rollins, Monsters in the Morning, WTKS 104.1 FM 3. The people

Best use of puBlic Money 1. Schools 2. SunRail 3. Orlando City Soccer stadium

Best waste of puBlic Money 1. Orlando-Orange County Expressway Authority 2. SunRail 3. Orlando City Soccer stadium

Best new thinG in orlando 1. Trader Joe’s, 131 N. Orlando Ave., 407-622-0874, traderjoes.com 2. Orlando City Soccer Club 3. Diagon Alley expansion at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Best hole-in-the-wall Joint 1. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org 2. Wally’s Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-6975, wallysonmills.com 3. The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive, 407-898-5892, thehideawaybar.net

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE CITY OF ORLANDO

In her 16 years as the sometimes unintelligible mouthpiece of the Orlando City Hall dais – one that liked to ramble on about wayward chickens in the streets – the city had grown accustomed to the commissioner’s bouts with irreverence. But come May, after her official farewell meeting had already transpired, Lynum felt compelled to call another final meeting, this time to address the building of a new K-8 school in her Parramore district. Critics of the new school complained that it was an invitation to resegregation in addition to being a demolition order for Colonialtown’s beloved Fern Creek Elementary, where many Parramore children were bused. Commissioner Patty Sheehan was one of those critics and said as much when voting no on a land deal that set the school in motion. That compelled Lynum to seethe with righteous indignation. “I have never interfered with any other council district,” she said to Sheehan at the May 27 meeting. “To have this discussion about keeping [Fern Creek] open, and to have little black children bused to some community that they can’t walk to, is asinine.” Dismount!

Over the past eight years, most of Commissioner Fred Brummer’s grumbled musings have been easily dismissed as noxious exhaust from a grumpy old man. In 2014, though, sensing his final chance at relevance, Brummer – via local Republican operatives – lashed out in very specific terms at an imagined liberal conspiracy in the county. Initially, Brummer brought out a Christmas list of changes he would like to make to the county charter, including the elimination of the tax collector’s office, punitive revisions to the petitioning process for citizens initiatives, the creation of two new “Hispanic” districts and a caveat that would make all county offices nonpartisan, among other bits of anger-making. Worse still, he wanted to rush the matter to a special election at taxpayer expense. Brummer’s scripted power grab would go on to be watered down (again by local Republican operatives), though what ends up on the ballot will likely still be unlikable.

Best local news writer

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Best way to prove locally that Medicaid expansion was actually important The nationally recognized death of Orlando resident Charlene Dill

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PHOTO COURTESY OF KATHLEEN VOSS WOOLRICH

Prior to the passing of local resident and 32-year-old mother of three Charlene Dill, most discussions of the Florida Legislature’s refusal to accept $51 billion in federal funds to expand the state’s Medicaid program lived in the realm of the political and the abstract. Florida, like many other Republican states, was fighting tooth-and-nail against the perceived horrors of Obamacare and all of its facets, mostly along Tea Party-drawn lines. But when Dill, who was working odd jobs just to get by, fell to a stranger’s floor in March and died while selling vacuum cleaners in Kissimmee, the frustration of nearly a million of the state’s working poor suddenly had a face. Dill was bumped off Medicaid, which landed her in the coverage gap – too poor to qualify for the exchanges, too financially stable to qualify for Medicaid. She was medicated for a heart condition, and if covered would have survived. Instead, thanks to national interest in a story first covered by Orlando Weekly, Dill’s legacy survives, hopefully giving human voice to an issue that has human consequences.

Best forced conditional support of equality by a politician

Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs at Come Out With Pride It was hard to criticize Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs for making an appearance at the 2013 Come Out With Pride festivities last fall. Jacobs had not exactly been friendly to LGBT causes in the past – she notoriously voted in favor of the gay marriage ban in 2008 and played dumb throughout the Orange County domestic partnership registry fight into 2012. But her appearance was intended to be heartfelt, mostly because a gay member of her staff had recently passed away. We were all told to believe (specifically by the event promoters) that Jacobs had evolved on the issue, that we ought to be more inclusive and accepting of those like her, that her very presence among the rainbow flags and pro-gay signs would mean that there was no turning back for Jacobs on LGBT issues because there were pictures. Picture this: In June 2014, Jacobs still refused to endorse marriage equality, even when confronted specifically on the issue. Some things never change.

Best do-Gooders doing Good Pawsitive Shelter Photography facebook.com/pawsitiveshelterphotography

Every day of the week, Orange County Animal Services in Orlando is slammed. The open-admission shelter, which serves all of Orange County, receives a flood of new animals who have no place to go. They’re either picked up as strays, surrendered by owners or confiscated by the authorities, and a lot of those animals don’t ever make it out alive. Their only chance is that, once they’re put up for adoption, they catch the eye of some kind soul searching for a new pet. Which is where Pawsitive Shelter Photography comes in. Before the volunteers from this little organization got involved, the photos of the dogs and cats available at the shelter were … less than flattering. They were taken in kennels and dark rooms, and the animals usually looked dirty and terrified. Now, Pawsitive Shelter Photography visits twice a week and takes professional-quality photos of the animals on a nice, clean background. They dress them in cute, seasonally themed gear and they spend enough time with the animals so they look engaged rather than erratic, making them far more likely to catch the eye of the casual pet adopter cruising the Internet, searching for a new pal. orlandoweekly.com

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Best political wig

Maria Ragen’s Patty Sheehan-do in Escape From Baldwin Park

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PHOTO COURTESY OF STEVE SCHNEIDER

There were plenty of Orlando in-jokes to snicker at in the 2014 Fringe show written by our former A&C editor, Steve Schneider, which transposed the cult B-movie Escape From New York into the tale of a Baldwin Park ravaged by disaster: stabs at Bright House sales jobs, jabs at overreaching HOAs, and a certain used-car salesman’s twinkle-toed granddaughter as a crucial character. But from the moment Ragen took the stage as Commissioner Patty Sheehan, she – and her hair – owned it. Sporting a Don King-worthy shock of starchy gray that reached for the sky, pardner, accessorized with a Western shirt, tight jeans and sensible footwear, Ragen’s seething, acerbic, delightful Sheehan stole the show. The essentially good-natured, I-kid-because-I-love tone of Schneider’s Orlandoan opus was confirmed by the fact that Commissioner Sheehan sat front and center for half a dozen performances, laughing louder than anyone else. Some people just get it.

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Best tree to hug

The Mayor at Mennello Museum 900 E. Princeton St.; 407-246-2283; cityoforlando.net/parks

Nestled between the Mennello Museum of American Art and Princeton Street stands a giant squid of an oak tree more than 200 years old. Its branches, huge swooping arches, are so long that they actually reach 200 feet into the sky and back down to the earth again, then start to make their way back up toward the sun. This ancient being has been here since the signing of the Constitution. Check out the Significant Trees Map on the city’s website if you want to hug all of the big trees in one day.

Best abandoned Building

Old power station/historic Ivanhoe building 1111 N. Orange Ave.; ouc.com

Orlando Ballet recently fled this gorgeous historic building when they cried “mold!” and were turned out onto the curb. Once an OUC power plant, the former Dr. Phillips Center for Performing Arts is now nothing but an empty shell, with the newly renovated “Happy New Year/Happy Holidays” sign (paid for by donations from the Ivanhoe Village Main Street District) resting atop it like a crown on a tired old beauty queen. The Ivanhoe Foundation that was charged with the upkeep of the building will most likely disband and leave their money to the Ballet, but nobody is talking about why this local landmark has been left jilted and alone for so long.

Best random person to run into Pops on Mills

In the Mills 50 district

Witnessing a rainbow on an overcast day is the equivalent of running into “Pops” around the Mills 50 district. Pops, as he tells people to call him, washes windows for the businesses along Mills (particularly Will’s Pub), and happens to spin some of the best conversational webs. If you’re lucky enough to catch the man, don’t be afraid to engage with him in a friendly head-to-head. Our mothers warned us about talking to strangers, but Pops is no stranger to the world. He’s been around and his stories are sure to be a highlight to anyone’s day. (Plus, if you’re really lucky, Pops will be selling random scavenged goods – ladders, guitar strings – for hella cheap.) orlandoweekly.com

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Best reason to put a fence around your organic Garden Feral cats

407-836-3111; orangecountyfl.net/animalspets/feralcats.aspx

There are an estimated 100 million feral cats in this country. Animal rights advocates want to treat them as urban wildlife and public pets – feed them, neuter them and leave them be – but a lot of environmentalists want them gone. The problem is that both sides are outspoken, and local government seems to be afraid of the political hornets’ nest that is feral-cat control. While the two sides duke it out and try to figure out how to reduce the population of feral cats – often called community cats these days, since they are (like it or not) part of the fabric of our community – we think you’d do best to put a fence around your organic garden. How else are you going to keep those calicos that live under your bungalow from shitting in the tomatoes? Live and let live.

Best way to discover the history of the city Beautiful from the comfort of your chair Historic Orlando groups on Facebook

PHOTO BY WILLIE ALLEN JR.

facebook.com/groups/historic.orlando; facebook.com/groups/historic.orlando.ii

While there are plenty of places to get a decent view of local history, from the Winter Park Scenic Boat Tour to the Orange County Regional History Center, sometimes you just want to soak it all up from the comfort of your own home. Which is why the Historic Orlando groups on Facebook are so great. Without even having to put on pants, you can check out vintage photographs, postcards, advertisements, yearbook snapshots and more from the vast pre-Disney era. Central Florida has a tendency to be a bit amnesiac when it comes to history, so this free dose of nostalgia provides great insight into our shared (or adopted) past.

Best proof that you don’t need a city Government Transformation Village in Bithlo 18415 11th Ave., Bithlo; ugo2.org

Bithlo started out as a planned community, but instead of becoming an early version of Baldwin Park, the municipality defaulted on some loans and then was hit hard by the Great Depression. Cue losing your city government and being kicked out of the county by scared politicians and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a community with no zoning, no services and no funding for basic necessities. United Global Outreach, a nonprofit organization led by Tim McKinney, saw that the Bithlo residents needed some help, swooped in, and the rest is history. They provided free dental care, started a school, held free weekly community meals and now are launching a whole series of improvements based around what they call Transformation Village. All of this has been done in only a few years and without the aid of a municipal government. orlandoweekly.com

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Best way to ruin the orange county democratic party

Be Val Demings and drop out of the Orange County mayoral race

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PHOTO VIA FLORIDA DEMOCRATIC PARTY

Former Orlando police chief and congressional candidate Val Demings’ delayed entry into the 2014 Orange County mayoral race against incumbent Teresa Jacobs was supposed to be the kick in the pants that local Democrats needed in a midterm election year. Demings’ brand, after all, was on the uptick, with appearances flanking former President Bill Clinton and a slew of national television moments populating her résumé. Jacobs, meanwhile, was languishing in the embarrassments of an administration mired in the litigious buffoonery of “textgate.” But from the get-go, Demings never really felt like she was “all in” with the municipal race, something that’s since been attributed to outside consultants and internal party rifts more than to Demings herself. When trusted local Democrats like Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer and former Orange County Mayor Linda Chapin refused to come out in Demings’ favor – both fearing the wrath of Jacobs on their beloved performing arts center project – Demings packed up her toys and disappeared. Now it could prove difficult to engage Democrats at the polls in August, which could also pull momentum from November.

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Best viral video for a Good cause

Rethink Homelessness’ “Cardboard Stories” YouTube video rethinkhomelessness.org

Earlier this summer an interesting video project made the rounds on social media. The footage, filmed in downtown Orlando, featured members of our city’s homeless population holding signs that said something unique about their lives. One woman holds a sign indicating that she was once a figure skater. A man holds one saying that he used to build robots for a living. The video, part of a project called Rethink Homelessness, sponsored by the Central Florida Commission on Homelessness, attempts to get people to shelve their preconceived notions of who the homeless are and recognize that their problems are not that different from our problems. The project is brilliant: simple, moving and effective.

Best reason to hang out in a cemetery Greenwood Cemetery moonlight walking tours 1603 Greenwood St., 407-246-2616; greenwood-cemetery.net

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COURTESY OF RETHINK HOMELESSNESS

Remember when all the cool kids would bring their English textbooks, Cure tapes and bottles of amaretto to the cemetery to, like, hang out or whatever? Yeah, we don’t either. But on Greenwood Cemetery’s moonlight walking tours, you can kind of get that experience, plus a hefty dose of Orlando nostalgia. While you see the graves and learn about the lives of such local bigwigs as Bumby, Tinker, Robinson and Carr (all real ex-people!), you can flash back to those days when doing weird, creepy shit was somehow all that mattered. Just remember that you have to RSVP on their site to secure a spot on the tour. Jncos and trenchcoats not required. Or encouraged. Ever.

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READERS POLL Best adult entertainment store 1. Fairvilla Megastore, 1740 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-6005, fairvilla.com 2. Pipe Dreams Fifth Dimension, 8385 S. U.S. 17-92, Fern Park, 407-331-7887, pipedreamsmecca.com 3. Premier Couples Superstore, 5009 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-857-2050, premiercouples.net

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

Best antiques 1. Renninger’s Antique Center, 20651 U.S. 441, Mount Dora, 352-3838393, renningers.net 2. Adjectives Market, 1215 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs, 321-203-2525, adjmkt.com 3. Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-2284403; also 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407-898-4230, washburnimports.com

Best new old Hardware store Hinge

1506 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-401-9112, hingevintagehardware.com

When obsessed hardware man George Baker sold his antique inventory to Rick Bosserman, Bosserman promptly saw precious metal. One man’s OCD is another man’s treasure, right? And Hinge, sited in College Park near the Fairvilla Megastore, has aisle after aisle of gleaming brass, copper and iron stuff. Pre-Revolutionary door locksets, wooden ice skates, rooster weathervanes … it just goes on and on. Complimentary vintage candy (anyone remember Mary Janes?) fits the vintage theme. Look for the eerie rows of colorful Depressionera glass Southern Belles on a shelf in the back, lined up like so many Stepford wives.

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READERS POLL Best BarBersHop 1. Floyd’s 99 Barbershop, multiple locations, floydsbarbershop.com 2. Liberty Barber Shop, 49 N. Primrose Drive, 407-590-9330, libertybarbershop.com 3. Kennedy’s AllAmerican Barber Club, multiple locations, kennedysbarberclub.com

Best Bike sHop 1. Orange Cycle, 2204 Edgewater Drive, 407-422-5552, orangecycleorlando.com 2. Kyle’s Bike Shop, 203 N. Primrose Drive, 407-2287088, kylesbikeshop.net 3. Ace Metric Cycles, 1844 E. Winter Park Road, 407-790-7802, facebook. com/ace.metric

Best Boutique 1. Etoile Boutique, 2424 E. Robinson St., 407-8956363, etoileboutique.com 2. Dear Prudence Shop, 2912 Corrine Drive, 407894-8941, facebook.com/ dearprudenceshoporlando 3. Zou Zou Boutique, 2 N. Summerlin Ave., 407-843-3373; also 7988 Via Dellagio Way, 407-6017727, zouzouboutique.com

Best ComiC Book sHop 1. A Comic Shop, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-332-9636, facebook. com/a.comic.shop 2. Coliseum of Comics, multiple locations, coliseumofcomics.com 3. Acme Superstore, 905 E. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-331-0433, acme-superstore.com

PHOTO BY LEANNE LEUTERIO

Best resale/ Consignment 1. Dechoes Resale, 2110 Edgewater Drive; also 2525 E. Colonial Drive, 407-8946622, dechoesresale.com 2. Plato’s Closet, multiple locations, platoscloset.com 3. Once Upon a Child, 4900 E. Colonial Drive, 407-292-3500; also 2504 S. Alafaya Trail, 407-413-5823, onceuponachildorlando.com

Best place to make your kitchen look like downton abbey Whisk and Bowl

3201 Corrine Drive, 888-388-3785, whiskandbowl.com

Whisk and Bowl isn’t the shop to dash into for a cheap spatula when you accidentally melt yours – it’s more of an heirloom, tools-to-last-forever kind of place. Owner Karen Manfredi specializes in the kind of equipment that gives bakers a feeling of tradition – like footed mixing bowls and batter pourers made by classic English brand Mason Cash, in production since 1800 and spotted in the capable hands of Mrs. Patmore and Daisy in most episodes of Downton Abbey. Which makes it fit in well to its upstairs berth at East End Market, really – they don’t sell too many last-minute cheapo ingredients there, either.

Best Help with lastminute Hair emergencies Cherry Blow Dry Bar

1430 N. Mills Ave., 407-250-5808, cherryblowdrybar.com

Just because you’ve got two X chromosomes doesn’t automatically make you a wizard with a flat-iron, curling wand or hair dryer. (Seriously, it’s like you’d have to be an octopus to wrangle all those tools.) But even if you don’t know the difference between shine serum and salt spray, it’s nice to know you can still look like you do. For those occasions when it’s imperative that your locks look lovely, the experts at Cherry Blow Dry Bar live to serve. They take walk-ins or appointments; they do updos and braids in addition to the standard menu of stickstraight or beachy waves; and they even serve you a glass of champagne to sip while they mend your moptop. We just wish we could afford to go every day.

Best new (to us) supermarket Trader Joe’s

131 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-0874, traderjoes.com

People gave us a lot of static for our enthusiasm about the entry of Trader Joe’s into our market. For years, we found ourselves making monthly treks to Gainesville or Sarasota to get our fix of habañero-lime tortillas, simmer sauces and roasted seaweed snacks. Now we have but to fight a little traffic battle on Orlando Avenue (and brave the insane competition for spots in the way-too-small parking lot) to get to our cookie butter and inexpensive dry goods. And lest you think Trader Joe’s is just another overpriced gourmet grocery store, you’d do well to stop in one day when you have some free time (we recommend Tuesday mornings before 11 a.m.). You’ll discover, just as we have, that the place is stocked with reasonably priced frozen foods, dairy products, organic goods and wine – lots and lots of wine. Seriously – Trader Joe’s is not the place to go if you’re looking for a bottle of Clorox, a six-pack of Coke or a package of Charmin, but it gives Publix a run for its money when it comes to produce, organic goods and the yummy treats that make our lives complete. orlandoweekly.com

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Best little Bit of old Florida left in south orlando Red Hill Groves

3725 S. Conway Road, 800-654-5562, redhillgroves.com

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Best doggie dayCare 1. Ranger’s Pet Outpost and Retreat, 1239 Minnesota Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-4884, rangerspetoutpost.com 2. Happy Paws Pet Resort, 12693 E. Colonial Drive, 407-282-5656, happypawsorlando.com 3. Woof Gang Bakery, multiple locations, woofgangbakery.com

Best dry Cleaner 1. Acme Cleaners, 600 N. Westmoreland Drive, 407-841-2301; also 204 E. Ridgewood St., 407-872-1040, acmecleaners.com 2. Hangers Cleaners, 7589 W. Sand Lake Road 407-264-0264; also 161 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-478-0020, hangersorlando.com 3. Best Cleaners, multiple locations, bestcleanersorlando.com

Best e-Cig store 1. The Vaporatory, 790 N. State Road 434, Altamonte Springs, 407-504-7368, thevaporatory.com 2. ESmoker Online, multiple locations, 888-569-3510, esmokeronline.com 3. ECigs Source, 1805 E. Winter Park Road, 407-960-6836, facebook.com/ ecigssource

PHOTO BY ERIN SULLIVAN

There was a time when Conway wasn’t known primarily as a suburban community near the airport, but more as the area south of the city that was full of open space and orange groves. Red Hill Groves is one of the last visible references to Conway’s citrusy past. Part fruit stand, part tourist shack, part citrus packing house, this little shop operates from October through May, selling honeybells, grapefruits, navels and other grove-fresh fruits, as well as random novelties (citrus sippers, coconut patties) and fresh-squeezed juices. Oh, and ice cream – just like any farm store worth its salt, Red Hill Groves has soft-serve. But you can’t just settle for a vanilla cone – get your scoop floated in a cup of fresh-squeezed juice. Divine.

READERS POLL

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READERS POLL

Best Hidden Vintage gem The Owl’s Attic

4031 Forsyth Road, Winter Park, 321-300-6957, theowlzattic.com

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1. Winter Park Farmers Market, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-3397, cityofwinterpark.org 2. Orlando Farmers Market, Lake Eola Park, corner of East Central Boulevard and North Eola Drive, orlandofarmersmarket.com 3. Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com

Best plaCe to Buy Furniture 1. Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-4403; also 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407-322-1449, washburnimports.com 2. 1618 Something Different, 1618 N. Orange Ave., 407-897-6707, somethingdifferentretro.com 3. Atomic Junkies, 2300 Edgewater Drive, 321-439-9578, etsy.com/shop/ atomicjunkiesgallery

Best Hair salon 1. Alchemy, 2812 Edgewater Drive, 407-650-8022, alchemyorlando.com 2. J. Bauman Salon, 1043 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-9044, jbaumansalon.com 3. Lambs Eat Ivy, 804 E. Washington St., 407-245-7006

PHOTO BY ASHLEY BELANGER

If you don’t know to look for it, it’s easy to miss the Owl’s Attic, situated in front of a car repair shop and sharing the same lot. But keep an eye out for the darling owl insignia as your hoot signal that you’re headed in the right direction. Turn to face Forsyth, then wing it left and walk along the street to find the entrance. Inside the shop, discover a rotation of vintage clothing (for women and men), jewelry, shoes, bags, sunglasses and other oddities to keep your look decidedly your own.

Best Farmers market

READERS POLL Best HealtH Food store 1. Whole Foods Market, 1989 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-673-8788; also 8003 Turkey Lake Road, 407-3557100, wholefoodsmarket.com 2. The Fresh Market, multiple locations, thefreshmarket.com 2. Chamberlin’s Natural Foods, multiple locations, chamberlins.com

Best liquor store 1. Total Wine & More, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553; also 4625 Millenia Plaza Way, 407-352-6330, totalwine.com 2. ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, multiple locations, abcfws.com 3. Wally’s Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-6975, wallysonmills.com

Best mani/pedi 1. J. Bauman Salon, 1043 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-9044, jbaumansalon.com 2. Marilyn Monroe Nail Boutique, 1486 N. Mills Ave., 321-247-7750, marilynmonroespas.com 3. Baldwin Nails, 4855 New Broad St., 407-895-7295, baldwinnails.com

Best Backyard Crate-digging

Best new Bookstore

Garry Postell’s semi-regular all-vinyl garage sales

Bookmark It

46 E. Steele St., dkpostell@att.net

3201 Corrine Drive, bookmarkitorlando.com

While Park Ave CDs, Rock and Roll Heaven, East West Music and all of our local record stores do a pretty fine job of keeping the vinyl flowing, real crate-diggers know that when you see the “Record Sale” sign at the corner of Princeton Street and Formosa Avenue, you’d better cancel the rest of your plans for the afternoon. Garry Postell, an avid record collector, is known to spend a good portion of his free time buying large collections of vinyl, weeding out the junk and then offering up the goods in his backyard at almost-rock-bottom prices. If you want a heads-up as to when the next sale will be, you can send him an email and ask to be notified a few days before he sets up his backyard bazaar.

Sometimes “best” means “only.” Orlando, like a lot of cities, has faced the slow decline of independent bookstores, whittling down readers’ choices for unused books to the bare minimum of Barnes & Noble or Amazon – neither a choice that gives those who prefer to support local business much to feel good about. Enter Bookmark It, a tiny book nook on the second floor of that shrine to local biz, the East End Market. Owner Kim Britt and her staff of knowledgeable booksellers preside over the warm space, where the shelves full of all-new books are sprinkled lightly with volumes written and published by locals and enriched with recommendations from Orlando literati. Keep an eye out for periodic book fairs, writing workshops and readings as well.

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READERS POLL

Best amish deli Clemons Produce

3325 Curry Ford Road, 407-897-1413, clemonsproduce.com

If you’ve driven past this produce stand in a strip mall on Curry Ford Road (next to the Daybreak Diner) and you haven’t stopped, do yourself a favor and get in there. This huge space is dedicated not just to fresh fruits and veggies, many sourced from family farms, vendors and markets in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas, but also to a surprisingly robust Amish deli, purveying meats and cheeses (many of which are gluten-, soyand nitrate-free), dairy products, preserves, and dry goods sourced from the Dutch Valley company in Pennsylvania.

Best Vintage antique mall in ivanhoe Village The Carousel Emporium 2000 Alden Road, 407-228-2791, carouselemporium.net

Ivanhoe Village is known for its abundance of antique shops, but this unassuming newcomer is a real standout. More than 6,000 square feet of vintage awesomeness awaits you in a pretty little building overlooking Lake Formosa. The store features multiple vendors and manages diverse offerings without feeling like a flea market. You can find anything here, from collectible Christmas tchotchkes to beautifully preserved full-length party gowns straight out of the movies. 46

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Best Beauty serViCes (FaCials, waxing, etC.) 1. J. Bauman Salon, 1043 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-9044, jbaumansalon.com 2. In Style Hair, multiple locations, instylehairorlando.com 3. TSecret, 1520 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5008, tsecret.com

Best pet supply store 1. Pookie’s Pet Nutrition & Bow Wow Bakery, 1500 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-7387, pookiesbowwowbakery. com 2. Woof Gang Bakery, multiple locations, woofgangbakery.com 3. Planet Pet, 1980 W. Fairbanks Ave., 321-295-7831, facebook. com/planetpetstore

Best plaCe to adopt a pet 1. Pet Rescue by Judy, 401 S. Laurel Ave., Sanford, 407-302-4497, petrescuebyjudy.com 2. Orange County Animal Services, 2769 Conroy Road, 407-254-9150, ocnetpets.com 3. Pet Alliance of Greater Orlando (formerly SPCA of Central Florida), 2727 Conroy Road, 407-351-7722, petallianceorlando.org

Best reCord store 1. Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Drive, 407-4477275, parkavecds.com 2. Rock & Roll Heaven, 1814 N. Orange Ave., 407-8961952, rock-n-rollheaven.com 3. East West Music & More, 4895 S. Orange Ave., 407-859-8991

Best smoke sHop 1. Pipe Dreams, multiple locations, pipedreamsmecca.com 2. Corona Cigar Co., multiple locations, coronacigar.com 3. Kathmandu, 23 S. Court Ave., 407-316-0026; also 352 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-7071, tribalasia.com

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READERS POLL Best spray tan 1. South Beach Tanning, multiple locations, southbeachtanningcompany.com 2. Sun Mist Tanning, 661 Bryn Mawr St., 407-964-1420, sunmistorlando.com 3. Otown Tan, 2875 S. Orange Ave., 407-601-5983, otowntan.com

Best t-sHirts 1. Mother Falcon, 819 E. Washington St., 407-423-3060, motherfalconclothing.com 2. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, tomanddan.com 3. “Orlando Doesn’t Suck” T-shirts by the Orlandoan, theorlandoan.com

Best tattoo/pierCing parlor 1. Trinity Tattoo Company, 193 N. U.S. Highway 17-92, Longwood, 407-659-0000, trinitytattoo.com 2. Ascension Tattoo, 832 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-2013, ascensiontattoo.com 3. Rise Above Tattoo, 1009 N. Mills Ave., 407-730-3142, riseabovetattoo.com

Best tHriFt store (not just ClotHing) 1. Goodwill, multiple locations, goodwill.org 2. Habitat for Humanity Restore, multiple locations, orlandorestore.org 3. Community Thrift Store, 6015 Edgewater Drive, 407-295-2799

Best ladyparts servicing, despite political pressure

Planned Parenthood of Greater Orlando in Kissimmee 610 Oak Commons Blvd., Kissimmee, 407-246-1788, ppgo.org

It may have been a long time coming – Osceola County has never had a clinic that performs abortions before – but this May, Planned Parenthood of Greater Orlando accomplished the unfathomable and cut the ribbon on its long-in-the-works Kissimmee health center. Naturally, the development brought its share of protesters, both local and national. But the advent of a new office also provides symbolic hope for reproductive rights in a year that saw Gov. Rick Scott signing another bill into law designed to curtail a woman’s right to choose. Oh, and just in case you forgot, Planned Parenthood does significantly more work to prevent unwanted pregnancies than it does to terminate them. Which is why this new clinic, which is going to serve an incredibly under-resourced area, is so important.

Best used Bookstore 1. Stardust Video and Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, stardustie.com 2. The Book Worm, 422 N. Bumby Ave., 407-898-7888, thebookwormoforlando.com 3. Orange County Library System, multiple locations, ocls.info

Best place to pray, then do a Fireball shot

Best place where someone did the right thing

St. Dorothy Catholic Community Sunday mass at St. Matthew’s Tavern

East End Market

1300 N. Mills Ave., orlandobeergarden.com

Best Veterinarian 1. Dr. Bruce Bogoslavsky, Animal Veterinary Hospital of Orlando, 1320 W. Oak Ridge Road, 407-855-7387, myavho.com 2. Winter Park Veterinary Hospital, 1601 Lee Road, Winter Park, 407-644-2676, wpvet.com 3. Loch Haven Veterinary Hospital, 2000 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-0941, lochhavenvet.com

Best Vintage ClotHing store

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

1. Dechoes Resale, 2110 Edgewater Drive, 407-648-7480; also 2525 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6622, dechoesresale.com 2. Deja Vu Vintage Clothing and Accessories, 1210 Michigan Ave., Winter Park, 407-838-3609 3. The Owl’s Attic, 4031 Forsyth Road, Winter Park, 321-300-6957, theowlzattic.com

Best wine sHop 1. Total Wine & More, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553; also 4625 Millenia Plaza Way, 407-352-6330, totalwine.com 2. The Wine Room on Park Avenue, 270 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-696-9463, thewineroomonline.com 3. Tim’s Wine Market, multiple locations, timswine.com

3201 Corrine Drive, 321-236-3316, eastendmkt.com

All jokes aside, the advent of the St. Dorothy Catholic Community Sunday mass in what used to be a neighborhood gay bar, St. Matthews Tavern, was something of a divine intervention. The bar’s new owner, Matthew Fassl, happened to be attending one of the Catholic group’s Winter Park meetings at its previous home in a wedding chapel when he heard that the group was about to be displaced. He offered up his watering hole as a place to hold services, and from there, one of Mills Avenue’s most striking anomalies was born: a church in a bar. The mix works remarkably well, with Holy Communion preceding the opening of the actual liquor bar by an hour; also, the reclaimed church pews add a certain profundity to the interior decor, even after Jesus has left the building.

It would’ve been easy to get a dead mall somewhere, throw a bunch of booths into it, and call it a “market.” Cheaper, too. Instead, the East End team – John and Kamrin Rife, Gabby Othon Lothrop and Heather Grove – did it the hard way: They converted an old two-story structure in the walkable heart of Audubon Park into a local food hub, and now we have a vibrant niche for entrepreneurs that is exquisite, unique and fun. It may not be the cheapest place in town to get excellent smoothies, locally grown vegetables and meats, and interesting cheeses, but you know your money is going to the actual producers, not some schmuck on Wall Street. Enjoy!

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Best place to get someone else to sew for you Grace + Murk Custom Conceptual Garments 805 Virginia Drive, 407-203-0959, graceandmurk.com

Fashion design company Grace + Murk can make anything. Custom-designed bathing suits for Gay Days, stilt-walking lion men for a street party, a sweater with that fabric you’ve had in your closet for years – if you have an idea, they can sew it into life. Their cute studio in Ivanhoe Village, across from Santiago’s Bodega, is chock-full of crazy garments that would be totally at home in a Gaga video, and the owners, Wayne Fowks and Desi Hilgers, are both gorgeous and super-cool kids that love Orlando and want to be a part of making it a more fashionable place to live.

Best place to prepare for the inevitable undead apocalypse Zombie Survival Army Navy Supply

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

6203 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-351-4470, zombiesurvivalorlando.com

With The Walking Dead shuffling back to AMC and Halloween Horror Nights coming to town in a matter of months, now is the time to stock up on the essentials you’ll need to endure the zombie Armageddon we all know is just around the corner. You’ll find all your undead essentials, from books, toys and T-shirts to zombie repellent spray, along with survival rations, first-aid kits, and a selection of ginormous knives that would impress even Crocodile Dundee. Now where’s that super-sized can of chocolate pudding? orlandoweekly.com

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Best pop-up shop

Big Box of Orlando Holiday Pop-up Shop thedailycity.com

It’s about time somebody made holiday shopping fun again. The Daily City’s Big Box of Orlando transformed the Orange Studio in Mills 50 into a cross between a party, an artisan’s market and an indoor mall full of local goods. With festive tunes spun by DJ Nigel, a beer and wine cash bar, the Tamale Co. food truck parked outside and more cool giftable goods (from, among others, Lure Design, Lineage Roasting, Cloak and Dapper and West Elm) than you possibly have people on your gift-giving list, the experience made shopping awesome rather than awful. Thanks, The Daily City. We won’t dread the holiday season half as much this year knowing that we have your event to look forward to.

Best mani-pedi at a price that won’t Break the Bank Delight Nails & Spa

6735 Conroy Windermere Road, 407-313-8820

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PHOTO BY STEVENMILLERPIX.COM

We feel like royalty when we check into Delight Nails & Spa, partly because the space looks ridiculously upscale, with its jeweled chandeliers and immaculate massage chairs, but also because of the star-quality service we get whenever we visit. This local gem offers gel and acrylic nail services, waxing, facials and even a Mommy & Me spa package. Better yet, mani-pedi deals start at $32. Treat yourself and feel like a million bucks without going broke.

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Best pet Care for those who need it most Dolly’s Foundation

LOGO VIA DOLLY’S FOUNDATION

dollysfoundation.org

OK, so technically most people hopefully won’t need to take advantage of the services of this organization. But residents in low-income communities and pet owners who need assistance finding affordable health care for their animals have found an invaluable service in Dolly’s Foundation, a little nonprofit with a big mission to help people connect with the resources they need to take better care of their pets. With the help of grants from partner organizations, Dolly’s Foundation has provided health care, food donations and spay and neuter services – in just this past year alone, they’ve managed to spay and neuter hundreds of dogs and cats in Central Florida – all at no cost to their owners.

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READERS POLL Best Breakfast 1. Keke’s Breakfast Café, multiple locations, kekes.com 2. First Watch, multiple locations, firstwatch.com 3. White Wolf Café, 1829 N. Orange Ave., 407-8959911, whitewolfcafe.com

Best Brunch 1. Dexter’s, multiple locations, dexwine.com 2. Cask and Larder, 565 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 321-280-4200, caskandlarder.com 3. White Wolf Café, 1829 N. Orange Ave., 407-8959911, whitewolfcafe.com

Best cariBBean 1. Bahama Breeze Island Grille, multiple locations, bahamabreeze.com 2. Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville, Universal CityWalk, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-224-2155, margaritavilleorlando.com 3. Caribbean Sunshine Bakery, multiple locations, caribbeansunshinebakery. net

Best chinese 1. Hawkers Asian Street Fare, 1103 N. Mills Ave., 407-237-0606, facebook. com/hawkersstreetfare 2. P.F. Chang’s, 436 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-0188; also 4200 Conroy Road, 407-3452888, pfchangs.com 3. China in College Park, 2122 Edgewater Drive, 407-839-8869, chinaincollegepark.com

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

Best french 1. Le Coq au Vin, 4800 S. Orange Ave., 407-851-6980, lecoqauvinrestaurant.com 2. Chez Vincent Traditional French Cuisine, 533 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-2929, chezvincent.com 3. Les Chefs de France, Epcot, 1830 Avenue of the Stars, Lake Buena Vista, 407-827-8709, disneyworld.disney. go.com

Best local Brew Lineage Roasting

East End Market, 3201 Corrine Drive, lineageroasting.com

The gleaming white tiles and the row of shiny silver coffee drippers lend Lineage, snugged into the back corner of East End Market, a laboratory atmosphere – which, given the seriousness of purpose displayed by owner Jarrett Johnson, is not far from the truth. Johnson and his staff go deep, experimenting endlessly with roast times and brew techniques to bring out the very best from each single-origin, limited-edition bean. When you tire of burnt-black roasts or utilitarian road-trip juice; when you outgrow caffeinated milkshakes topped with whipped cream; when you are ready to truly taste what you’re drinking and only that, Lineage will brew you the most modern cup of coffee Orlando has to offer. And if you’ve got that summertime sadness, a bottle of Lineage cold brew – black or white – will chill you right out. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL

Best cheese Ball

Best Mimosa deal

Burrata mozzarella at Santiago’s Bodega 802 Virginia Drive, 407-412-6979, santiagosbodega.com

It doesn’t break any new culinary ground, but the plump, creamy sphere of burrata on Santiago’s cold tapas menu is simply, perfectly satisfying. Sitting in a tiny pool of walnut pesto, drizzled with balsamic and served with crispy-soft grilled pita triangles, this is an ideal appetizer to split with a friend along with a nicely chilled bottle of rosé. Just keep in mind that what’s deliciously rich and buttery in small amounts can be trouble in larger ones, so don’t be greedy – share.

$12 all-you-can-drink mimosas at Orlando Farmers Market

Lake Eola Park, corner of East Central Boulevard and North Eola Drive; orlandofarmersmarket.com

Most schlubs would be suckered into the common trap of $3-$5 mimosa deals at their local watering hole or brunch spot, but the select few mimosa fiends in the know head to the farmers market on Lake Eola every Sunday to get their fix. For $12 you can guzzle as many champagne-spiked orange juices as possible between noon and 5 p.m., and let us tell you, that can add up to a lot of drinks. Huzzah for vitamin C!

Best Greek

Best latin

1. Mediterranean Blue, 435 E. Michigan St., 407-422-2583, mediterraneanblue.net 2. The Greek Corner, 1600 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-0303, thegreekcorner.net 3. Taverna Opa, 9101 International Drive, 407-351-8660, opaorlando.com

1. Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0294; also 1835 E. Colonial Drive, 407-203-0922, blackbeandeli.yolasite.com 2. Pio Pio Latin Cuisine, 2500 S. Semoran Blvd., 407-207-2262, piopios.com 3. Zaza New Cuban Diner, 3500 Curry Ford Road, 407-228-0060, zazacubandiner.com

Best indian 1. Tamarind Indian Cuisine, 501 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 321-207-0760; also 12309 E. Colonial Drive, 407-237-0920, tamarindfl.com 2. Moghul Indian Cuisine, 401 N. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-599-9001, moghulindiancuisine.com 3. Woodlands, 6040 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-854-3330, woodlandsusa.com

Best italian (not Just pizza) 1. Prato, 124 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-262-0050, prato-wp.com 2. Antonio’s, 611 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-645-1039, antoniosonline.com 3. Il Pescatore, 651 N. Primrose Drive, 407-896-6763, ilpescatoreonline.com

Best Mexican 1. Garibaldi Mexican Restaurant, 929 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-5035 2. Gringos Locos, 20 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626; also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407-896-5626, eatgringos.com 3. Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com

Best Middle eastern 1. Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine, 108 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-8609; also 7600 Dr. Phillips Blvd., 407-352-6766, bosphorousrestaurant.com 2. Mediterranean Deli, 981 W. Fairbanks Ave., 407-539-2650 3. Hubbly Bubbly Falafel Shop, 3405 Edgewater Drive, 407-985-5841, hubblybubblyfalafel.com

SERVING THE AUTHENTIC

GYROSANDWICH WE ALSO HAVE A WIDE VARIETY OF VEGETARIAN SELECTIONS AND AUTHENTIC MEDITERRANEAN BEER AND WINE

CATERING AVAILABLE // FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! 435 E. MICHIGAN STREET 407.422.BLUE (2583)

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READERS POLL Best thai 1. SEA Thai Restaurant, 3812 E. Colonial Drive, 407-8950985, seaorlando.com 2. Thai House of Orlando, 2117 E. Colonial Drive, 407-8980820, thaihouseoforlando.net 3. Thai Place, 501 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-8449, thaiplacewinterpark.com

Best VietnaMese 1. Pho 88, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, pho88orlando.com 2. Little Saigon, 1106 E. Colonial Drive, 407-423-8539, littlesaigonrestaurant.com 3. Anh Hong, 1124 E. Colonial Drive, 407-999-2656, anhhongorlando.com

Best Bakery

Best place to hear a restaurateur sing Maxine’s on Shine

337 N. Shine Ave., 407-674-6841, maxinesonshine.com

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Best BarBecue 1. 4 Rivers Smokehouse, multiple locations, 4rsmokehouse.com 2. Yellow Dog Eats, 1236 Hempel Ave., Windermere, 407-296-0609, yellowdogeats.com 3. Bubbalou’s Bodacious BBQ, multiple locations, bubbalous.com

Best BurGer 1. BurgerFi, 538 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-2010, burgerfi.com 2. Five Guys Burgers and Fries, multiple locations, fiveguys.com 3. Graffiti Junktion, multiple locations, graffitijunktion.com

Best cupcake 1. The Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, 407-494-9336, theyumyumcupcaketruck.com 2. Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive, 407-228-3822, bluebirdbakeshop.com 3. Sweet! by Good Golly Miss Holly, 711 N. Alafaya Trail, 407277-7746, sweetbyholly.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF MAXINE BROADWELL

Sultry proprietress Shelly “Maxine” Broadwell has been known to purr a few tunes at her always fun and boisterous neighborhood restaurant, but don’t expect the animal-print-loving chanteuse to belt out any old song at any old time. There are conditions: 1) the musician must be attuned to the Beatles, Johnny Cash or her fave, Nancy Sinatra; 2) she actually needs to be present at the restaurant. If those stringent conditions are met, the former Miss New York 1979 contender will gladly show off her talents. There are times when hearing Maxine sing is assured, though: when it’s your birthday and on the fourth Friday of every month when musician John Gallagher is in the house.

1. Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive, 407-228-3822, bluebirdbakeshop.com 2. Olde Hearth Bread Co., 3201 Corrine Drive, 321-236-3316, oldehearthbreadcompany.com 3. Se7en Bites, 207 N. Primrose Drive, 407-203-0727, facebook.com/se7enbites

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Best way to taste it all Bite30

bite30.com

It may be a teensy bit self-serving for us to put an Orlando Weeklyproduced event in our Best of Orlando, but even if this were someone else’s event, we’d pick it. An entire month for adventurous diners to eat their way through some of Orlando’s most creative restaurants, ordering from incredibly reasonably priced multi-course prix fixe menus designed to showcase their chefs’ creativity – there’s no better, cheaper way to find your new favorite restaurant(s).

Best weird empanada fillings La Empanada Truck laempanadatruck.com

Best Vegan test lab Artichoke Red

2808 Edgewater Drive, 407-898-3353, artichokered.com

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Best coffee/tea

Best ice creaM

1. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com 2. Drunken Monkey, 444 N. Bumby Ave., 407-893-4994, drunkenmonkeycoffee. com 3. Stardust Video & Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, stardustie.com

1. Jeremiah’s Italian Ice, multiple locations, jeremiahsice.com 2. Twistee Treat, multiple locations, twisteetreatusa.com 3. The Soda Fountain, 2525 Edgewater Drive, 407-540-1006, facebook.com/ thesodafountainorlando

Best deli 1. Publix deli, multiple locations, publix.com 2. 903 Mills Market, 903 S. Mills Ave., 407-898-4392, 903millsmarketcafe.com 3. TooJay’s Gourmet Deli, multiple locations, toojays.com

Best desserts 1. The Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, 407-494-9336, theyumyumcupcaketruck. com 2. The Dessert Lady, 7600 Dr. Phillips Blvd., 407-9995696, dessertlady.com 3. The Sweet Shop at 4 Rivers Smokehouse, multiple locations, 4rsmokehouse.com/ sweet-shop

Best diner 1. Christo’s Café, 1815 Edgewater Drive, 407-425-8136 2. Junior’s, 2920 Corrine Drive, 407-894-8871 3. The Town House Restaurant, 9 E. Broadway St., Oviedo, 407-365-5151, oviedotownhouse.com

Best huMMus 1. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, dandelioncommunitea. com 2. Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine, 108 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-8609; also 7600 Dr. Phillips Blvd., 407-352-6766, bosphorousrestaurant. com 3. Taverna Opa, 9101 International Drive, 407-351-8660, opaorlando.com

Best pizza 1. Mellow Mushroom, 2015 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-657-7755; also 11680 E. Colonial Drive, 407-384-4455, mellowmushroom.com 2. Lazy Moon Pizza, 11551 University Blvd., 407-658-2396, lazymoonpizza.com 3. Anthony’s Pizzeria & Italian Restaurant, 100 N. Summerlin Ave., 407-6480009, anthonyspizza.com

Best pho 1. Pho 88, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, pho88orlando.com 2. Little Saigon, 1106 E. Colonial Drive, 407-423-8539, littlesaigonrestaurant.com 3. Pho Hoa, 649 N. Primrose Drive, 407-895-6098, facebook. com/phohoaorlando

Best puB GruB 1. The Ravenous Pig, 1234 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-2333, theravenouspig.com 2. Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-802-4800, obliviontaproom.com 3. Fiddler’s Green Irish Pub & Restaurant, 544 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2050, fiddlersgreenorlando.com

Best sandwiches 1. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com 2. Yellow Dog Eats, 1236 Hempel Ave., Windermere, 407-2960609, yellowdogeats.com 3. TooJay’s Gourmet Deli, multiple locations, toojays.com

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

If you read about some new vegan product in VegNews or on Isa Chandra’s Twitter feed that you’re just dying to try, no need to special-order it from Abe’s Market or Food Fight Grocery – chances are you’ll find it in College Park at Artichoke Red. Owner Sam Cardon keeps the new products cycling through his allvegan store, from innovative pantry basics like Daiya “cheese” shreds and the Vegg, a vegan egg-yolk imitator, to animal-free junk food like Earth Balance “cheddar” puffs and Luna & Larry Coconut Bliss salted caramel ice “cream.” Products that don’t meet a great reception are mercilessly dropped, but if customers show love for something, Artichoke Red will find a long-term place for it among their crowded shelves and refrigerated cases.

It seems like empanadas are becoming as ubiquitous a pastry as sriracha is a condiment, with nearly everyone from Casa de las Empanadas to Tako Cheena offering up their own takes on the cute-and-tasty hand pies. One thing you can count on, though, is that La Empanada food truck will have a variety that you’ve never tried. Whether it’s the savory BBQ chicken & gouda, the rib-sticking tomato-basil mac & cheese or the gringo-riffic meatloaf & mashed potatoes, taking advantage of La Empanada’s three-for-$9 special will have you entering a gastronomic dreamscape both familiar and exotic. Or maybe just slipping into a food coma.

READERS POLL

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READERS POLL Best suBs 1. Publix deli, multiple locations, publix.com 2. Firehouse Subs, multiple locations, firehousesubs.com 3. Jersey Mike’s Subs, multiple locations, jerseymikes.com

Best seafood 1. Winter Park Fish Co., 761 Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-6112, thewinterparkfishco.com 2. Lombardi’s Seafood, 1152 Harmon Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-3474, lombardis.com 3. Lee and Rick’s Oyster Bar, 5621 Old Winter Garden Road, 407-293-3587, leeandricksoysterbar.com

Best Juice/sMoothies 1. Planet Smoothie, multiple locations, planetsmoothie.com 2. Skyebird Juice Bar & Experimental Kitchen, 3201 Corrine Drive, 407-758-9311, skyebird.com 3. Juice Bar, 2413 E. South St., 407-446-9257, juicebarorlando. com

Best steakhouse 1. Linda’s La Cantina Steak House, 4721 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-4491, lindaslacantinasteakhouse.com 2. Ruth’s Chris Steak House, multiple locations, ruthschris.com 3. Hillstone Restaurant, 215 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-4005, hillstone.com

Best sushi

PHOTO COURTESY OF FAT CAT FOODS

1. Amura, multiple locations, amura.com 2. Seito Sushi, 4898 New Broad St., 407-898-8801; also 8031 Turkey Lake Road, 407-248-8888, seitosushi.com 3. Sushi Pop, 310 W. Mitchell Hammock Road, Oviedo, 407-542-5975, sushipoprestaurant.com

Best tapas/sMall plates 1. (tie) Santiago’s Bodega, 802 Virginia Drive, 407-412-6979, santiagosbodega.com 1. (tie) Café Tu Tu Tango, 8625 International Drive, 407-248-2222, cafetututango. com 2. Hawkers Asian Street Fare, 1103 N. Mills Ave., 407-237-0606, facebook.com/hawkersstreetfare 3. Ceviche Tapas Bar & Restaurant, 125 W. Church St., 321-281-8140, ceviche.com

Best locally Made hot sauce Chairman Meow’s Revenge by Fat Cat Foods fatcatfoods.com

Writer-cum-hot sauce magnate Eyal Goldshmid has crafted one of the finest all-purpose hot sauces we’ve sampled and, what’s more, it’s locally made. The scorpion and habañero peppers that go into the aromatic (and seriously stinging) Chairman Meow’s Revenge are grown in Ocoee and Brooksville, while many of the sauce’s ancillary ingredients (onions, cilantro, red peppers, lime) come from Florida farms. The sauce is bottled in St. Augustine and sold locally at the Fresh Market, Cavallari Gourmet, Hoovers Market, Local Roots at East End Market, the Ancient Olive and other spots – but it’s the infernal yet well-rounded flavor of this Caribbean-style pepper sauce that makes it good on everything from burgers to omelets. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL Best VeGan 1. Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 601 S. New York Ave., Winter Park, 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com 2. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-3621864, dandelioncommunitea.com 3. Infusion Tea, 1600 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5255, infusionorlando.com

Best VeGetarian 1. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-3621864, dandelioncommunitea.com 2. Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 601 S. New York Ave., Winter Park, 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com 3. Infusion Tea, 1600 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5255, infusionorlando.com

Best winGs 1. Gator’s Dockside, multiple locations, gatorsdockside.com 2. Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-802-4800, obliviontaproom.com 3. The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive, 407-898-5892, thehideawaybar.net

Best place to Buy Meat 1. Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com 2. Petty’s Meats, 2141 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-862-0400, pettysmeats.com 3. The Fresh Market, multiple locations, thefreshmarket.com

Best place to Buy produce 1. Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com 2. Winter Park Farmers Market, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Saturday, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, cityofwinterpark.org 3. Orlando Farmers Market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sunday, Lake Eola Park, orlandofarmersmarket.com

Best outdoor dininG 1. Hillstone Restaurant, 215 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-4005, hillstone.com 2. 903 Mills Market, 903 S. Mills Ave., 407-898-4392, 903millsmarketcafe.com 3. Eden Bar, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-629-1088, enzian.org

Best Breadbasket

Lavas at Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine 108 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 406-644-8609, bosphorousrestaurant.com

Comfortably ensconced on Park Avenue in Winter Park, Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine produces quality dishes, but it’s a simple yet show-stopping appetizer that blows the rest of the menu out of the water: their version of the Mediterranean bread called lavas, aka hollow bread or balloon bread. The crisp, puffy loaf towers over the plate and can be shared by four or five people. Choose from a variety of six cold appetizers to give the hollow dough some flavor – we suggest baba ghanoush and hummus as worthy dipping options for this Turkish delight.

Best Vegan Breakfast Burrito

Sausage gravy burrito at Ethos Vegan Kitchen 601 S. New York Ave, 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com

Ethos is known for its innovative vegan creations, but this breakfast burrito really takes the dairy-free cake. Smothered in “sausage” gravy and packed with a flavorful sausage, potato and tofu scramble, Ethos’ brunch creation is the heartiest meat-free meal you’ll eat before noon. Though it might not look impressive – even regular meaty sausage gravy appeals more to the stomach than the eye – you’ll be hooked as soon as you cut into that vegan gravy-drenched goodness. We guarantee that even your all-American, steak-loving, “what’s a vegan?” uncle will devour this surprisingly healthy dish. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL Best food truck 1. The Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, 407-494-9336, theyumyumcupcaketruck.com 2. Korean BBQ Taco Box, 407-4532250, facebook.com/kbbqbox 3. Sushi & Seoul on the Roll, facebook.com/sushiandseoul

Best entrance

Smoked duck under glass Scratch, 223 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-325-5165, scratchtapas.com

Best taco

The waiter approaches, bearing a white plate topped with a glass cloche filled with an opaque white cloud. The cloche is removed, the smoke shimmies above the plate for a moment in a fragrant swirl, and then as it disperses, all heads turn toward your table, seeking the source of that woodsy aroma. Listed somewhat unassumingly on the menu as “smoked duck,” this stunning dish is a high point of Scratch’s menu. The succulent lavender-cured duck breast medallions sided with maque-choux and scattered with pea tendrils are delectable on their own, but the high theater of its arrival puts it over the top.

1. Tako Cheena, 932 N. Mills Ave., 321236-7457, takocheenaorlando.com 2. Gringos Locos, 20 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626; also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407-896-5626, eatgringos.com 3. Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com

Best cheap eats 1. Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com 2. Tako Cheena, 932 N. Mills Ave., 321-236-7457, takocheenaorlando.com 3. Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0294; also 1835 E. Colonial Drive, 407-203-0922, blackbeandeli.yolasite.com

Best restaurant to take a date 1. The Ravenous Pig, 1234 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-2333, theravenouspig.com 2. Seasons 52, 7700 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-354-5212; also 463 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs, 407-767-1252, seasons52.com 3. Hillstone Restaurant, 215 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-4005, hillstone.com

Best late-niGht restaurant (serVinG after 11 p.M.) 1. Gringos Locos, 20 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626; also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407-896-5626, eatgringos.com 2. Tako Cheena, 932 N. Mills Ave., 321-236-7457, takocheenaorlando.com 3. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com

PHOTO BY PATRICIA LOIS NUSS

Best theMe park restaurant 1. Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville, Universal CityWalk, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-224-2155, margaritavilleorlando.com 2. The Three Broomsticks, Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Universal Orlando, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-224-4233, universalorlando.com/ harrypotter 3. Be Our Guest Restaurant, Walt Disney World Magic Kingdom, 407939-5277, disneyworld.disney.go.com orlandoweekly.com

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Best little debbie impersonators Se7en Bites

207 N. Primrose Drive, 407-203-0727, se7enbites.com

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PHOTO BY ERIN SULLIVAN

OK, admittedly, Little Debbie didn’t invent the classic snack cakes most kids grow up either eyeballing or inhaling. But when you encounter the Swiss rolls and nutty bars behind the glass at Se7en Bites, we’ll be shocked if you aren’t transported back in time to feel that same uncontrollable urge to indulge. We love the oatmeal pies best, but maybe that’s just predictably Southern of us. And if you aren’t so nostalgic to pad your pantry like Mama used to with the store-bought stuff, their bakery case hosts a wealth of more sophisticated pastries that would probably make Hostess cry for its mom.

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Best, Bitterest feelings Daughters & Co. 1036 N. Mills Ave.

We were thrilled to learn in March that Daughters & Co. bitters maven Kaitlin McGavock would take over Lil Indies, rebranding the already charming beer bar as a haven of craft cocktails, complete with an English garden-themed patio, a custompoured cement bar and a rooftop herb garden. And while they’ve missed the July deadline they originally announced, big things have been happening incrementally: We’re loving the monthly Barrel to Bottle Whiskey Club, and one of McGavock’s summer drinks, the Old Man and the Sea, was included in the “101 best new cocktails” by SF bar columnist Gaz Regan. But, busy as McGavock is, it’s the ensuing drought of Daughters & Co. bitters that’s wearing on us. (Those “holiday bitters” pretty much owned our winter 2013 drink-mixing.) McGavock says she’s just waiting on new, waterproof labels and that D&Co. bitters are available by special order, so – grudgingly, if not bitterly – we’ll take what we can get for now.

Best fish tacos

Smoked grouper tacos at Cress Restaurant 103 W. Indiana Ave., DeLand, 386-734-3740, cressrestaurant.com

Trust us: These tacos are worth the trip. You won’t find a better fish taco than the one Hari Pulapaka fashions at Cress. Seriously. You won’t. Fresh Florida grouper is marinated in a Creole blend, smoked over hickory wood chips, then loaded into grilled home-style corn tortillas along with shredded cabbage, candied Fresno chilies, lots of cilantro and a roasted poblano crema. The result is nothing short of mind-blasting. Who’s driving?

Best caffeine-and-sugar Buzz

Soy mocha with lavender syrup at Stardust Video & Coffee 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, stardustie.com

There are rows of flavored simple syrups lining the walls at Stardust, and they’re not just for show. It might sound nutso, but stay with us here: The lavender syrup is totally worth adding to your soy mocha (or any mocha, for that matter). The subtle floral fragrance is intoxicating, and added to coffee, chocolate and soy milk’s faintly fruity vibe, it’s a magical wakeup potion. So satisfying, you’ll forget about the calories. orlandoweekly.com

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Best pizza crust Wolfies Pizzamia

1905 N. Orange Ave., 407-237-0921, wolfiespizzamia.com

Perhaps the pride of Wolfies is their cured meats, but we hope the establishment’s chest is equally puffed over the irresistible crust at the foundation of their exquisite pies. The doughy fringes of their pizzas are neither bland nor overpowering, neither too chewy nor too crispy, and being middling has never felt so right. Anyone who’d ordinarily toss aside the crust because it’s just filler has only once to idly take a bite to be powerfully persuaded into a new, upper-crust way of life.

Best noshfest in orlando festival park Orlando Chili Cookoff

2911 E. Robinson St., 407-777-8309, orlandochilicookoff.com

You might think 10 itty-bitty sample cups of chili wouldn’t fill you up, but you’d be wrong. From guilt-free vegan, paleo and gluten-free chilis to kicked-up classic versions packed with beans, brisket, even smoked duck, it’s not a food festival meant to celebrate finesse – it’s just a damned good time. Watch competitors and judges down bowl after bowl of Texas red, have your taste buds blown off at the “Al Gore’s Worst Nightmare” tent and if it rains, that just means more samples for you.

Best customer fulfillment specialists

The Sweet Shop at 4 Rivers Smokehouse multiple locations, 4rsmokehouse.com/sweet-shop

For some, drooling over the rows of bar cookies, chocolate-covered Oreos, mile-high cakes, pudding parfaits and generously frosted cupcakes at the 4 Rivers dessert enclave is enough. For others, all that excess sugar is just the beginning. It’s yours for the asking – if you want extra frosting on that already-weighted cupcake, no problem. A little more whipped cream on that cakey milkshake? Done. There’s no request your sweet tooth might make that will give the Sweet Shop pause. 78

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Best tiny sandwiches 100 Montaditos

417 N. Alafaya Trail, 407-384-9040, us.100montaditos.com

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PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

The Spaniards may have gotten knocked out of the World Cup early (boo-effing-hoo), but their most popular tapas chain has made a big difference in East Orlando’s dining scene. We’ll credit it to the flocks of broke-ass UCF students who recognize that these diminutive montadito sandwiches are a steal. The bread is quality, they’re built to order, the fillings are fullon Iberian (Spanish tortilla and jamon Iberico!) and the sangria is potent. Order two as a pre-cinema snack, or fill your gullet and go to tiny sandwich heaven.

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Best BBQ side dish

Jalapeño cheese grits at the East Orlando Bubbalou’s Bodacious Bar-B-Q

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

12100 Challenger Parkway, 407-423-1212, alafaya.bubbalous.com

These cheese grits are ridic. Choose them over the pedestrian fries and coleslaw and you’ll never look back. Creamy, cheesy, spicy – a dish of the stuff is full up with every flavor and texture that’s a perfect foil to smoky, sauced protein. The other Bubbalou’s locations don’t serve jalapeño cheese grits, so you’ll have to make a special trip to the UCF-area location to taste them. And you should.

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Best papaya salad Saigon Noodle & Grill

710 S. Goldenrod Road, 407-658-1967, saigonnoodleandgrill.com

This salad offers a perfect balance of all the things we love about Southeast Asian food – all at once sweet, spicy, salty, crunchy, earthy, herbaceous. A pile of freshly shaved green papaya is topped with carrot, peanuts, mint, basil, dried shrimp and perfectly dressed with a sheen of fish-sauce spiked dressing. Choose your protein topping (though it seems unnecessary with such perfection already in play) – shrimp and pork or shrimp and squid.

Best dumplings

Sichuan wontons at Chuan Lu Garden 1101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-8966, chuanlugardenorlando.com

The love affair continues. Among the list of excellent dishes at our only local true Sichuan resto, like the dan dan noodles and “mouthwatering” chicken, there are these little gems. It’s fun to order something different every time you visit Chuan Lu Garden, but these little purses are a must every time: perfectly balanced, tender hand-folded wontons, savory pork filling, swimming in chili oil and dusted with citrusy, numb-spicy Sichuan peppercorns.

Best special occasion Buffet Fiorenzo Italian Steakhouse at Hyatt Regency Orlando

9801 International Drive, 407-284-1234, orlando.regency.hyatt.com

What we might have lost by the closing of La Coquina at the Hyatt Grand Cypress a few years ago is made up for a few times a year at Fiorenzo at the former Peabody, now the Hyatt Regency Orlando. A sparkling raw bar with prawns and oysters sitting in an ice sculpture; rows of petite, beautiful desserts; mountains of French cheeses and accoutrements; a to-order entree bar; pizza oven; giant antipasto spread; paellas; imported bagels and smoked fish; sushi – it doesn’t get better for a special occasion. They do the brunch on Easter, Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. 84

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Best new art venue Snap Space

1013 E. Colonial Drive, snaporlando.com

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1. Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival, orlandofringe.org 2. Winter Park Sidewalk Arts Festival, wpsaf.org 3. Snap Orlando, snaporlando.com

Best recurring arts nights 1. Thornton 2nd Thursday Wine & Art Walk, thorntonparkdistrict.com 2. Third Thursday Gallery Hop – Downtown Arts District, orlandoslice.com 3. 1st Thursdays at Orlando Museum of Art, omart.org

Best arts advocate 1. Central Florida Community Arts, cfcarts.com 2. United Arts of Central Florida, unitedarts.cc 3. Patrick Greene, avalongallery.org

Best Burlesque troupe 1. VarieTease, thevenueorlando.com 2. Peek-A-Boo Burlesque, stardustorlando.com 3. Les Vixens

Best comedy (cluB, group or night) 1. SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-0001, sak.com 2. Improv Orlando, 9101 International Drive, 407-480-5233, theimprovorlando.com 3. Digital Boobs Comedy, digitalboobscomedy. tumblr.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF PATRICK KAHn

The old Cameo Theater, a vintage Art Deco moviehouse, now houses Patrick and Holly Kahn’s Snap Space gallery. The couple’s reputation for bringing world-class artists to Orlando through their annual Snap Orlando photography show is solid; now they have a brickand-mortar space in which to do the same thing. Formerly from Los Angeles, the Kahns know how to put on a good show: Receptions are theatrical and exciting, you feel like one of the beautiful people, and the music, drinks and conversation keep flowing while you enjoy some great art. The future of Orlando’s art scene seems rosy.

READERS POLL Best arts event/Festival

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Best Family-Friendly tech incubator FamiLab

1355 Bennett Drive, Longwood, 407-406-5946, familab.org

For MineCon addicts, steampunks and hackers of all types, FamiLab is the unofficial local meeting space. It’s in a crappy old warehouse near Lyman High, full of strange, buzzing machines and guys muttering over a tangle of wires and parts from Skycraft. But it is getting national attention for its not-for-profit collaborative atmosphere, and has already earned Orlando a spot in the worldwide maker movement. (Proof: This year Orlando hosts one of just 15 official Maker Faires in the world.) If you happen to have a chip implant with your credit card number, you need only gesture at the vending machine for a bag of Doritos.

READERS POLL Best Film Fest or series 1. Florida Film Festival, floridafilmfestival.com 2. Cult Classics at Enzian, enzian.org 3. Orlando Film Fest, orlandofilmfest.com

Best liBrary 1. Orlando Public Library (OCLS main branch, downtown), 101 E. Central Blvd., 407-835-7495, ocls.info 2. Winter Park Library, 460 E. new England Ave., Winter Park, 407-623-3300, wppl.org 3. Olin Library, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave, Winter Park, 407-646-2627, rollins.edu/ library

Best local visual artist 1. Andrew Spear, spearlife.com 2. Thomas Thorspecken, analogartistdigitalworld.com 3. Boy Kong, facebook.com/boy.kong

Best local author 1. Bob Morris, bobmorris.net 2. Scott Vedder, authorscottvedder.com 3. (tie) Teege Braune 3. (tie) nicole Antonia Carro, nicoleantoniacarro.wordpress.com

Best local poet/spoken word artist 1. Swamburger 2. Tod Caviness 3. Susan Lilley

Best literary/reading series 1. Speakeasy, speakeasyatwills.blogspot. com 2. There Will Be Words, therewillbewords. com 3. Live Lewd Girls: Erotic Spoken Word at the Peacock Room

Best local actor/actress 1. John DiDonna 2. Peg O’Keef 3. Andrea Canny

Best gallery 1. CityArts Factory, orlandoslice.com 2. Snap Space, snaporlando.com 3. The Falcon, thefalconbar.com

Best museum 1. Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St., 407-514-2000, osc.org 2. Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 n. Mills Ave., 407-896-4231, omart.org 3. Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 n. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-5311, morsemuseum.org

Best theater space 1. John and Rita Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 812 E. Rollins St., 407-447-1700, orlandoshakes.org 2. The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive, 407-412-6895, thevenueorlando.com 3. Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W. Church St., 407-297-8788, madcowtheatre.com 90

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READERS POLL Best movie theater 1. Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-629-0054, enzian.org 2. Cobb Plaza Cinema Café, 155 S. Orange Ave., 407-982-5444, cobbtheatres.com 3. AMC Downtown Disney, 1500 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-827-1308, amctheatres.com

Best photographer 1. Kristen Wheeler, KHPhotographics, khphotographics.com 2. Macbeth Photography, 130 S. Orange Ave., 407-745-1359, macbethphoto.com 3. Photos by Chris Martin, 6424 Forest City Road, 561-5967453, photosbychrismartin.com

Best dance company 1. Orlando Ballet, orlandoballet.org 2. DRIP, ilovedrip.com 3. Yow Dance, yowdance.org

Best theater company

Best heavy metal visual artist Brandon Geurts brandongeurts.com

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Best mural 1. Will’s Pub mural by Dolla Short, 1042 N. Mills Ave. 2. Wings to Walls murals in Mills 50 by Andrew Spear, 1201 n. Mills Ave. and 1106 E. Colonial Drive 3. Tweaky Dragon at Pho Hoa by Boy Kong, 649 n. Primrose Drive

Best puBlic art 1. Mills 50 utility boxes, various artists, mills50.org 2. Take Flight, Douwe Blumberg, Lake Eola at Robinson Street, seeartorlando. com 3. SPORE Project, Doug Rhodehamel, dougrhodehamel. wordpress.com

Best local Filmmaker 1. Stephen Shea, abyssmal.com 2. Digital Boobs Comedy, digitalboobscomedy.tumblr. com 3. Banks Helfrich, bankshelfrich.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF BRAnDOn GEURTS

Brandon Geurts’ work is part Ralph Bakshi scenic art and part hand-biting Necronomicon – ripe with cow skulls and bloody-kneed virgin sacrifices, floating in subterranean caverns full of whispered secrets. Which is probably why his art was chosen to grace the cover of one copy of Black Sabbath’s limitededition “Age of Reason” single, released on Record Store Day 2014. (Like we said, limited edition.) With dark, moody ink washes emphasized by delicate line work, Geurts has developed a hauntingly surreal style that makes his work memorable and instantly recognizable. He’s moving to Tampa this fall to get his MFA, but no matter where he goes, he’ll still be one of Orlando’s best.

1. Orlando Shakespeare Theater, 812 E. Rollins St., 407447-1700, orlandoshakes.org 2. SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-0001, sak.com 3. Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W. Church St., 407-297-8788, madcowtheatre.com

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Best local nerdy artist Jaime Margary margary.net

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PHOTO COURTESY OF JAIME MARGARY

Jaime Margary is a local multimedia artist whose pop-culturefocused work is gaining attention outside our city limits. His video game sculptures (“Pakku Rotundus, aka Realistic PacMan,” “Piranha Plant” and “Super Mario Mushroom”) blazed through Kotaku.com a couple of years ago; since then, he’s kept busy making an animated music video for Roadkill Ghost Choir’s “Bird in My Window,” designing the cover of the Plush Monsters’ new album, creating a couple of our favorite Nyan Cat videos (“Schrödinger’s Nyan Cat” and “Nyan Cat – Punk”), self-publishing a web comic at Margary.net and printing T-shirts with portraits of characters from Netflix political melodrama House of Cards and HBO bloodbath Game of Thrones. (Don’t worry, no spoilers.)

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Best use of a steamroller

“Culture Pop: Roll, Repeat,” March 14, 2014

PHOTO BY AMBER ZIMMERMAn

Art & History Museums – Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland, 407-539-2181, artandhistory.org

March 2014 was an art-lover’s dream, thanks to Art31, the monthlong multifaceted celebration of creativity produced by Maitland’s Art & History Museums. Each day of the month brought at least one way to express our enthusiasm for art, whether it be looking at it, learning about it or making it. The rubber really met the road, though, on March 14, when the museum brought out a steamroller – yes, a steamroller – to press prints in front of guests at their monthly Culture Pop art party. Woodblocks by Whitney Broadaway, Rebecca Sexton Larson, Cat Snapp and Chris Ware were cradled in padding on Packwood Avenue, inked and topped with paper – then eight tons of metal rolled right over them. Heavy.

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Best urban sketcher Thomas Thorspecken analogartistdigitalworld.com

When former Disney animator Thomas Thorspecken started blogging daily sketches of Orlando’s arts scene back in 2009, it was a lark that looked to last for a year at most. Half a decade later, “Thor” and his watercolor kit are fixtures at every important area entertainment event, and his renderings have reached beyond the Internet with a well-received exhibition at Snap Space in March and a fast-selling instructional book explaining the essentials of urban sketching. Thorspecken’s prints now sell for hundreds of dollars, so snag one while you can still afford it.

Best drop-dead deadline Nov. 6, 2014

Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 455 S. Magnolia Ave., 407-839-0119, drphillipscenter.org

Best reason to hit your Friend in the Face Pillowlando

Once hosted by eclectic performance artist Brian Feldman – who has since moved on – and now run by the über-dorable Tony Bolante, Pillowlando is a part of the international Pillow Fight Day effort. This is more than just hitting strangers with a sack of feathers, though. It’s a part of something bigger – a movement. For 30 whole minutes attendees scream, curse and wallop each other in the face. Then, when time is up, they march back to their cars, exhausted but strangely serene. 100

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PHOTO BY MEREDITH PAYnE O’COnnOR

twitter.com/pillowlando

After many delays, the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts finally announced its opening date: Nov. 6, 2014. “They’ve thrown down the gauntlet,” Mayor Buddy Dyer said, rather ominously. “That date is set in stone,” Dr. Phillips Center president Kathy Ramsberger assured us, her jaw set resolutely. The Aloft Hotel XYZ bar hosting the presser duly echoed with the sound of reporters double- and triple-underlining the date “Nov. 6, 2014” (actually, we’re kidding – reporters started fumbling with their phones as they tried to switch over from voice recorder to jab that date into their calendars). The Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts has finally buckled down to finish building the buildings in which Orlando will be treated to such offerings as Newsies, Book of Mormon (again, yay!), trumpeter Chris Botti and Orlando Ballet’s Vampire’s Ball. “This November, we’re on!” promised Ramsberger. We’re ready!

Best making the Best of a Bad situation

Orlando Philharmonic buys the Plaza Live One of Central Florida’s most confusing development conundrums over the past few years has revolved around the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts and the local arts groups that the center was originally intended to house. In the ensuing seven years since the ink dried on the venues deal, some of those groups (including the Orlando Opera) have closed down under recessionary financial pressure. Meanwhile, the arts center had to break up its development into phases; those phases left both the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra and the Orlando Ballet in a headquartering lurch. Fortunately for the Phil (and not so much for the struggling ballet), budget figures remained in the black throughout. Last August, the orchestra purchased the old Plaza Live on Bumby Avenue for $3.4 million, creating its own small performance space and expanded headquarters. The show will go on.

Best landing on pointed toe Orlando Ballet

Loch Haven Community Center, 610 N. Lake Formosa Drive, 407-426-1733, orlandoballet.org

The Orlando Ballet, our area’s leading professional classical dance company, navigated some tricky choreography over the past year. First they were evicted from their Orange Avenue home, the 113-year-old OUC power plant that had been their base of operations since 1992. Then interim executive director Ron Legler departed for Baltimore. But the Ballet bounced back and stuck their landing by appointing new executive director Jim Mitchell, finding a new home for the Orlando Ballet School at the corner of Princeton and McRae, and, best of all, securing the Loch Haven Community Center for the OBC’s future multimillion-dollar facility. To top it off, a financial grant will allow the Ballet to grace the big stage next season at downtown’s new Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. Bravo!

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Legends: A Haunting at Old Town

5770 W. Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Kissimmee, 407-883-0859, legendsoldtown.com

If you’re getting sick of the same old slog through Halloween Horror Nights, it’s time to graduate to a new level of fear. The year-round scares at Legends: A Haunting at Old Town are like a horrific home-cooked meal compared to the big budget-contracted scarezones we’ve come to expect from this city, and the result is a labor of love that will charm you while it scares your pants off. Take a break from all of the Hollywood-themed houses, and take an evening to visit the Ashdowns. They’re dying to meet you. 102

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PHOTO BY MICHAEL GAVIn THE PARAnORMAL PAPARAZZI

the Best local haunt with actual haunts

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Best local-ish tv star EDDIE HUAnG BY ATISHA PAULSOn; ‘FRESH OFF THE BOAT’ STILL COURTESY ABC-TV

Eddie Huang

Your boy Eddie Huang? This is his year. Yeah, we’ve said it before, but for real – the Rollins grad/restaurateur/sneaker pimp/memoirist/based FOB has finally cracked the big big time by breaking into the wide-beam, lowest-commondenominator bastion of mediocrity that is network TV. The trailer for ABC’s series based on Fresh off the Boat, Huang’s tale of growing up Asian and hip-hop-mad in Windermere, dropped in May, whetting appetites with excerpts from the pilot starring Randall Park (Veep) and Constance Wu (Torchwood), but the premiere remains to be scheduled. Huang’s also got a cooking-battle show on MTV called Snackoff and a news talk show on Pivot with Meghan McCain (Take Part), but neither of those offers the same full-blast megaphone to America that the ABC show does. From the get, Huang has been trying to get the Asian-American experience into the mainstream, and there’s no better way than a halfhour network comedy. (Hey, it’s been 20 years since Margaret Cho tried … maybe we’re finally ready.) orlandoweekly.com

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Best local tv Breakout

Jessy Lynn Martens as Cherlene on Archer

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Blackfish

We knew Blackfish was going to be big as soon as we got the pre-emptive strike against it from SeaWorld. The marine park sent an email to movie critics telling them not to take the film (which questions whether it’s humane to keep killer whales in captivity) seriously – before it was even released. For much of 2013, the documentary and SeaWorld hammered at one another. SeaWorld publicly insisted that the film was propaganda. The film challenged SeaWorld’s assertions and critics, and pundits and celebs took sides on the issue. A rash of musicians even canceled shows scheduled at the park as part of its Bands, Brews and BBQ concert series. In the end, the debate rages on – SeaWorld continues to make massive profits, using killer whales and other marine mammals in spectacular shows, and the advocates continue to wail on behalf of cetaceans.

PHOTO COURTESY OF FX

America doesn’t know her face yet, but after this season of FX’s Archer, they know her big voice. Local songbird Jessy Lynn Martens was the mighty wind that powered the country-star persona of Cheryl Tunt on the animated show. And under the direction of Drivin’ N Cryin’s Kevn Kinney, an entire album was made that – despite the show’s famous lack of seriousness – surprised the music world with its quality and garnered lots of positive reviews.

Best whale wail

Best new reason to go to the library The Dorothy Lumley Melrose Center for Technology, Innovation and Creativity

PHOTO COURTESY OF OCLS

101 E. Central Blvd., 407-835-7323, tic.ocls.info

The downtown library took a public stance against going out of style by dedicating 26,000 square feet of its second floor to fostering creativity within its walls through public access to innovative technologies. Thanks to a massive donation to OCLS, the space better known simply as the Melrose Center now provides studios for photography, audio recording and video production. They also have fabrication and simulation labs, an interactive media wall and a fully wired conference room that seats 30. It’s a major step for them, but it’s a greater service to us – just another addition to the library’s other cushy offerings, like home delivery of books and free courses, both of which help advance that old-timey pursuit that goes hand in hand with innovation: knowledge. orlandoweekly.com

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Best theater trend

MEL BOCHnER, ‘BLAH BLAH BLAH’ (2013) IMAGE COURTESY OF THE ALFOnD COLLECTIOn OF COnTEMPORARY ART AT ROLLInS COLLEGE

Unconventional venues and site-specific shows

Most theater productions ensconce their patrons in comfy chairs, allowing them to observe the action at a safe remove, but an increasing number of site-specific shows in unconventional venues shattered Orlando’s fourth wall in 2014. The experimental art-music experience Caress of Progress at the Space, director Scott Browning’s environmental take on Shakespeare’s Tempest at the Acre, and Fight Theatre’s interactive automobile adventure Ride Along at Orlando Fringe all showed how exciting it can be when performances burst from the stage and surround an audience.

Best crash course in contemporary art The Alfond Collection of Contemporary Art

Best comedy trend Local comedy showcases

The Alfond Inn, 300 E. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-998-8090, thealfondinn.com

Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St., 407-228-0804, facebook.com/spacebarcomedy; Bull and Bush, 2408 E. Robinson St., 407-896-7546, bullandbushorlando. com; The Peacock Room, 1321 N. Mills Ave., 407-228-0048, thepeacockroom.com

Conceived as a “visual syllabus” by its donors, Barbara and Ted Alfond, the art at Rollins College’s new on-site hotel continues the school’s mission of education. Works by established masters such as Mel Bochner and Philip-Lorca diCorcia join edgier pieces by Tracey Emin, Juan Travieso and Lalla Essaydi on walls throughout the Alfond Inn – more than 100 pieces in all, offering a free class in modern art history to anyone who takes the time to look.

No longer relegated to opening for touring comedians at clubs like the Improv or networks like Bonkerz, Orlando comedians have harnessed their punk-rock DIY spirit and created their own vibrant scene. Tying it all together are the showcases put on at local bars. Whether at Spacebar’s weekly Wednesday night, Bull and Bush’s bi-weekly Saturday Shit Sandwich or the Peacock Room’s Dead Parrot Comedy Showcase, there’s hardly a night that goes by that you can’t see some quality stand-up comedy in this town for free. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL Best CluB dJ 1. DJ Leilani, soundcloud. com/leilani-y 2. DJ Smilin’ Dan, facebook. com/djsmilindan 3. Jimmy Joslin, jimmyjoslin.com

Best CluB night 1. Grits and Gravy at Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-839-0457, facebook. com/independentbarorlando 2. Mac n’ Cheese at Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-839-0457, facebook. com/independentbarorlando 3. SIN Sunday at Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120, dancersroyaleorlando.com

Best eleCtroniC aCt 1. XXYYXX, xxyyxx. bandcamp.com 2. DJ RoboRob, djroborob. bandcamp.com 3. Native Feel, nativefeel. bandcamp.com

Best experimental aCt 1. The Groove Orient, soundcloud.com/ groove-orient 2. Moon Jelly, soundcloud. com/moonjellyband 3. MagiTek, magitekonline.com

Best Folk/Country aCt 1. Thomas Wynn and the Believers, thomaswynnand thebelievers.com 2. The Mud Flappers, themudflappers.com 3. The Bloody Jug Band, bloodyjugband.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF MOON JELLY

Best hip-hop aCt 1. Solillaquists of Sound, solilla.com 2. Luscious Lisa, facebook. com/lusciouslisamusic 3. Free Daps, freedaps. bandcamp.com

Best Jazz aCt 1. Kaleigh Baker, kaleighbaker.com 2. The Groove Orient, soundcloud.com/ groove-orient 3. The Cook Trio, thecooktrio.com

Best new trend in orlando music events Commemorative tickets

Is anyone still collecting tickets in this increasingly paperless world? Maybe less and less, but for a few Orlando shows, promoters gave us good reason to revive old keepsake tendencies. Leading the resurgence of event-ticketsas-art was the Civic Minded 5, whose 3-D pyramid design for Sun Araw at Will’s Pub literally stood for itself as a stunning example, as did their pop-up ticket for Peter Brötzmann at Timucua (both designed by Jim Ivy). Then there was Dave Plotkin’s John Vanderslice at the Acre tickets, featuring rare photos the musician took on various tours. Admittance to Emperor X at the Space was granted by flashing tickets marked by photos from all around Orlando (shot by local musicians Ark Calkins and David Zimlinghaus). They might be good for just one night, but you gotta admit, they help amp up anticipation for upcoming shows more than an overlooked email notification from Ticketfly. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL Best latin aCt 1. Ñeco Peña, necomusic.com 2. Cosmotiburón, facebook.com/cosmotiburon 3. Kattya Graham, kattyagraham.com

Best roCk aCt 1. Thomas Wynn and the Believers, thomaswynnand thebelievers.com 2. Random Encounter, randomencounter.com 3. Ancient Sun, ancientsunband.com

Best metal aCt

PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER GARCIA

1. Gargamel!, gargamel.net 2. Meka Nism, meka-nism.com 3. Sci-Fried, sci-friedband.com

Best pop aCt 1. Beebs and Her Money Makers, bahmm.com 2. Saskatchewan, ssktchwn.com 3. Thomas Wynn and the Believers, thomaswynnandthebelievers. com

Best new Band to rep orlando hard ButterQueen

facebook.com/butterqueenfl

ButterQueen guitarist-vocalist Phil Longo has been a fixture of Orlando music as part of much-loved bands like Country Slashers and Basements of Florida, so it comes as no surprise that his newest project references familiar settings on songs like “Dinner at Wally’s” and “U.F.Pho88.” Their song “Speaking Of” introduces ButterQueen’s members, describes a bunch of other local bands on the scene, and throws in an allusion to the Peacock Room. But this band isn’t exceptional just because they namedrop city favorites; the lyrical conversations between Longo and vocalist-bassist Susana Chaplin (Wet Nurse) make for an engrossing live show. Although Munchkin-like vocals and carnival instrumentation is employed to sell the jokey premise of “Butter Run,” the musicianship on their debut – also featuring local go-to drummer Jordan Duttinger (Tam Tam the Sandwich Man) – demands serious attention.

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Best warm welcome Hanson’s Shoe Repair 27 E. Pine St., 407-476-9446, facebook.com/hansonsshoerepair

Much has been written about this speakeasy’s many charms: the handcrafted vintage-recipe cocktails, the captivating low-lit decor, the illicit thrill of making your party’s reservation and then, at the appointed hour, whispering the password through the door. All of that is good, sure. But it’s our first visit that sticks in our mind: On a January night soon after Hanson’s opened, we found ourselves shivering on their intimate (but, on this night, kinda frosty) roof patio. Our drink runner noticed the chill and returned with a round of gratis shots – and a selection of toasty blankets so we could tuck up and keep gazing at the stars while we sipped our drinks. Now that’s treating your guests right.

Best literal Bar

Thirsty Topher’s big, thick plank

Best grassroots venue The Space

1206 E. Colonial Drive, 407-205-7572, thespaceistheplace.com

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The Thirsty Topher’s gimmick is simple: a clean, well-lit bar with plenty of seating and a good selection of beer and wine. The ostentation-free setting serves to highlight the beauty of the real centerpiece of the bar: the actual bar. Made from three huge, solid pieces of varnished cypress, the Thirsty Topher’s bar top is guaranteed to impress anyone with an appreciation for woodworking and a fondness for the drinks served on it. It’s the kind of thing that, after a few rounds, you’ll be boasting to friends that you could craft at home if you wanted to. Trust us: You can’t.

Best punk aCt 1. The Attack, theattack.us 2. Wet Nurse, wet-nurse.bandcamp.com 3. Teen Agers, facebook.com/ teen.agersfl

Best reggae/ska aCt 1. The Supervillains, thesupervillains.com 2. Beebs and Her Money Makers, bahmm.com 3. Paddington Ambush, facebook.com/paddingtonambush

Best singer-songwriter 1. Kaleigh Baker, kaleighbaker.com 2. Thomas Wynn, thomaswynnandthebelievers.com 3. Marc With a C, marcwithac.com

Best soul aCt 1. The Sh-Booms, theshbooms.com 2. The Legendary JC’s, reverbnation.com/thelegendaryjcs 3. Evan Taylor Jones, evantaylorjones.com

Best live musiC CluB 1. The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave., 407-246-1419, thesocial.org 2. House of Blues Orlando, 1490 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, hob.com/orlando 3. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org

Best loCal musiC Festival 1. Florida Music Festival, floridamusicfestival.com 2. Electric Daisy Carnival, electricdaisycarnival.com/orlando 3. WJRR’s Earthday Birthday, wjrr.com

Best open miC 1. Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-3364, austinscoffee.com 2. The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, facebook.com/thegeekeasy 3. Natura Coffee and Tea, 12078 Collegiate Way, 407-482-8599, facebook.com/naturacoffeeandtea

Best Bar (smoking) 1. Wally’s Mills Ave. Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-6975, wallysonmills.com 2. Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave., 407-649-8540 3. Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, sportstownbilliards.com

PHOTO BY ASHLEY BELANGER

If you’ve never been to the Space, it can sound a little like a hipster clubhouse, but the informal venue run on donations has evolved to become an artsier alternative to Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall. Whatever your weird idea is, it’s accepted, as the stairs leading up to the curious venue pronounce: “Welcome. You are here. It is now.” Unique arts events crop up, like The Caress of Progress and I Believe in You, and it’s the preferred venue for edgy events by Body//Talk, Is It Over Yet?, Literocalypse and Polylust Burlesque. Add to that stacked lineups of notable local bands like Golden Pelicans, Me Chinese, Sales and Case Work, plus touring acts like Centuries, Emperor X and Bombadil, and you quickly learn the Space is equal parts community and courage.

1609 Alden Road, 407-491-4342, thethirstytopher.tumblr.com

READERS POLL

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READERS POLL Best Bar (nonsmoking) 1. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org 2. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlight beerparlour.com 3. The Courtesy, 114 N. Orange Ave., 407-450-2041, thecourtesybar.com

Best Bartender 1. Teege Braune at Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlightbeer parlour.com 2. Josh Call at Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St., 407-999-2570, backbooth.com 3. Tammy Purvis at Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120, dancersroyaleorlando.com

Best CraFt Beer Bar 1. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlight beerparlour.com 2. Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-802-4800, obliviontaproom.com 3. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org

Best CraFt CoCktail Bar 1. The Courtesy, 114 N. Orange Ave., 407-450-2041, thecourtesybar.com 2. Hanson’s Shoe Repair, 27 E. Pine St., 407-476-9446, hansonsshoerepair.com 3. Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org

Best danCe CluB

PHOTO BY ASHLEY BELANGER

1. Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-839-0457, facebook.com/ independentbarorlando 2. Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407425-7571, parliamenthouse.com 3. Eye Spy, 64 N. Orange Ave., 407-246-1599

Best dive Bar 1. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org 2. Wally’s Mills Ave. Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-8966975, wallysonmills.com 3. The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive, 407-898-5892, hideawaybar.net

Best new reason to trek to sanford

Rabbitfoot Records Coffee Lounge 309 E. First St., Sanford, 321-926-3417, rabbitfootrecords.com

Anyone who’s ever romanticized record stores as hangouts after watching cult movies like High Fidelity and Empire Records should make sure to stop in at Rabbitfoot Records Coffee Lounge, where you can flip through their gently used selection of vinyl, request to play any album in the store and chill out for as long as the caffeine from their gourmet coffee allows. Located in Sanford’s enviable downtown strip, this is the second area Rabbitfoot Records, made possible after big moves at the original Titusville location – becoming a label and cutting their own records. We can’t wait to see what innovative business owner Rob Wallace does next, but for now, we consider ourselves lucky to be neighbors to both far-flung vinyl haunts. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL Best Bar to meet men 1. Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-7571, parliamenthouse.com 2. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlightbeer parlour.com 3. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org

Best Bar to meet women 1. Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120, dancersroyaleorlando.com 2. Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-8390457, facebook.com/ independentbarorlando 3. Bar BQ Bar, 64 N. Orange Ave., facebook.com/ barbqbar

Best gay Bar 1. Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-7571, parliamenthouse.com 2. The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-704-3200, hammeredlamb.com 3. Pulse Orlando, 1912 S. Orange Ave., 407-6493888, pulseorlandoclub.com

Best strip CluB 1. Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120, dancersroyaleorlando.com 2. Rachel’s Orlando, 8701 S. Orange Ave., 407-8589800, rachelsorlando.com 3. Thee Doll House Orlando, 5570 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-858-1319, dollhousestripclub.com

PHOTO BY ASHLEY BELANGER

Best happy hour 1. Cask and Larder, 565 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 321-280-4200, caskandlarder.com 2. The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-704-3200, hammeredlamb.com 3. Latitudes, 33 W. Church St., 407-649-4270, churchstreetbars.com/ latitudes

Best Biergarten to spend a sunday Funday Barley and Vine Biergarten 2406 E. Washington St., 407-930-0960, barleyandvineorlando.com

When Barley and Vine Biergarten opened their doors, we were eager to invade their patio, littered with long picnic tables that encourage communal carousing. Typically open at 4 p.m., the bar extends their hours on the weekends to welcome day drinkers at noon, and on Sundays, the welcome wagon has some extra sheen. Guest chefs grill out in the garden, serving free food to famished folks guzzling craft beers on draft or in bottles. For those in the Milk District already spoiled by the selection at Sportstown and Milk Bar, maybe it’s the new kid on the block, but making friends is easy when you have such a cool backyard. orlandoweekly.com

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Best possible resolution to a local music tragedy

Ralphfest III occurs within days of Ralph Ameduri’s killer’s guilty verdict ralphameduri.com

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PHOTO COURTESY OF RALPHFEST ORGANIZER JEFF SWEAT

Ralph Ameduri Jr. was one of Orlando’s most unassuming yet most beloved musicians, so when he was murdered in a botched robbery of $25 in 2011 while subbing for a friend at a Winter Haven gig, the local music community, at first devastated, was pushed into action. In addition to working to assist the authorities in locating a suspect, friends of Ameduri rallied to keep his name alive via three increasingly impressive annual Ralphfest concerts. This year’s third iteration in February even saw one of Ameduri’s heroes, Sebadoh songwriter and Dinosaur Jr. bassist Lou Barlow, on stage. Perhaps of even greater significance – especially to Ameduri’s family, according to his sister – was that Ralphfest in 2014 occurred at the same time as the trial of suspect Samuel Sweet Jr. In the bittersweet end, Sweet was found guilty of all six of his criminal charges just in time for the show; he was sentenced to life in prison in March.

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Best tailgating

Best place to dance in the rain

New Year’s Eve, parking lot of Linda’s La Cantina

Sky Sixty

4721 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-4491, lindaslacantinasteakhouse.com

60 N. Orange Ave., skysixty.com

They don’t take reservations on New Year’s Eve at Linda’s La Cantina – you put your name on the list when you arrive and you wait. At most places, that would mean enduring a nightmarishly crowded bar while you wait (and wait and wait) for a table to open up. But at Linda’s, you’re encouraged to make your own party in the parking lot instead. Bring your blankets, cooler, snacks and drinks, open up that tailgate and make your own party on the spot. It’s way better than waiting in line at the bar, and nobody’s going to hassle you: Parking lot tailgating is a New Year’s Eve tradition at Linda’s.

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There are a lot of ways to enjoy Sky Sixty in downtown Orlando, many of which involve making terrible decisions and vomiting your life story all over your designated driver. But if you happen to get caught in the rain during a raging high-rise party, you might find yourself caring less and less that your shoes are getting squishy. So what if your drink is becoming increasingly watered down? It’s accumulating cloud-tears, and you’re one with nature! Dance on, bros!

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Best puB/taproom 1. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlight beerparlour.com 2. Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-802-4800, obliviontaproom.com 3. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org

Best sports Bar 1. Graffiti Junktion, various locations, graffitijunktion.com 2. Miller’s Ale House, various locations, millersalehouse.com 3. Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, sportstownbilliards.com

Best wine Bar 1. The Wine Room on Park Avenue, 270 Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-696-9463, thewineroomonline.com 2. Eola Wine Company, 430 E. Central Blvd., 407-481-9100, eolawinecompany.com 3. The Imperial Wine Bar and Beer Garden, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-4992;

also 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407-732-6956, imperialwinebar.com

Best trivia night 1. Curtis Earth, curtisearthtrivia.com 2. Doug Bowser, hamburgermarys.com/orlando 3. Graffiti Junktion, various locations, graffitijunktion.com

Best karaoke 1. Big Daddy’s, 3001 Corrine Drive, Winter Park, 407-644-2844, bigdaddysorlando.com 2. Korndogg’s Karaoke, rockbandkaraoke.com 3. CityWalk’s Rising Star, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-224-4233, universalorlando.com

Best OrlandO Weekly event 1. Best of Orlando Party, orlandoweekly.com/best-oforlando 2. Orlando Zombie Ball, orlandoweekly.com/ orlandozombieball 3. Puppy Love: The Event

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Best punk show pit

Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall

PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER GARCIA

1016 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-0009, facebook.com/lous.lgma

Light a cigarette and step into a flashback of the ’80s punk scene from the moment you walk into Uncle Lou’s. The decor is deteriorating and covered with graffiti. There’s a small bar and there’s one line of benches along the back wall for seating. The rest is a scuffed-up, dirty open space where the best show pits break out, mostly because any band can play (seriously, just ask Lou). There’s no stage, so if you want to smash your drunk punk soul into the music or another person, there’s nothing stopping you. Except maybe Lou. (Don’t destroy his bar, man.) Don some boots and a black shirt and release your good-natured aggression in a sea of crust punks clutching $2.50 PBRs. orlandoweekly.com

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Player 1 Video Game Bar

8562 Palm Parkway, Lake Buena Vista, 407-504-7521, player1orlando.com

The amount of nerd-themed bars in this city continues to blow minds, but the reigning king is without a doubt Player 1 Video Game Bar. Whether you’re kicking your friend’s ass in Street Fighter or pwning punks while dominating the newest Call of Duty, there is no better place to wiggle your joystick in public. The number of gaming and arcade machines at your disposal is rivaled only by the broad selection of craft beers, lagers and ales on tap. Pro tip: Get to the Super Smash Bros. setup before anybody else does. You’re welcome. 128

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PHOTO BY RICKY BRIGANTE, OUTSIDETHEMAGIC.COM

Best place to get drunk and play video games

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Best overall venue improvement Will’s Pub

PHOTO BY ASHLEY BELANGER

1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-748-8256, willspub.org

As if being one of the city’s longest-standing prime venues weren’t enough, Will’s Pub has undergone an unprecedented blitz of improvements this year that have upped the experience of the space as both live venue and hangout. Widened doorways to the music room have increased sightlines immensely, the front room’s been converted from a spacehogging billiard zone to a social room with generous seating, the joint’s gone nonsmoking and – god save us – it’s full-ass liquor now, making that new keg-smash mural rather literal. orlandoweekly.com

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Best recurring house parties (if you can find them) Cloud 9

Shhh … it’s a secret

This DIY venue, located in a mysterious, dimly lit alleyway, is Orlando’s most secretive party site. Located on a grungy brick corner behind a few local haunts in Mills 50, Cloud 9 is an updated version of the parking lots you might have lingered in as a disillusioned teenager in 1992. Hidden out of sight from disapproving patrons and reprehending parental types, Cloud 9 gets away with everything that the clubs don’t – fireworks exploding above partygoers’ heads, champagne-drenched hair and artsy local bands that just don’t appeal to those seeking the typical Friday night fun on Orange Avenue.

Best record label to draw attention to orlando music Relief in Abstract reliefinabstract.com

It’s a rare occasion when a record label brings an entire community together, but Relief in Abstract has done just that. Created by two ambitious teens in the suburbs of Orlando in 2011, RIA has grown to an unexpectedly monumental size. Releasing music from artists such as XXYYXX, Fortune Howl and Spies on Bikes, the label primarily focuses on electronic-driven soundscapes with an eerie post-dub production. However, this success hasn’t severed the label from its roots – RIA continues to bring Orlando artists and musicians together to create inspired music the rest of the world immediately admired. We were excited to recently learn the collective hopes to diverge from that sonic plain in the future, diversifying their reputable portfolio further.

Best venue rescue

Backbooth under Norse Korea’s Kyle Raker 37 W. Pine St., 407-999-2570, backbooth.com

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The music of Sam Rivers rivbea.com

Of the music legends who’ve called Orlando home, few are as brilliant and important as jazz master Sam Rivers. Once a frequent scene presence with exciting public performances of varying scale and formality, his spirit was reduced to a revered memory with his 2011 passing. However, after the enthusiastic reception of a couple of performances last fall, the New Sam Rivers Rivbea Orchestra, mostly comprising musicians who played in Rivers’ big band for years, now honors the man on stage monthly at Will’s Pub.

PHOTO BY JAMES DECHERT

This year, longtime downtown club Backbooth returned from the brink of irrelevance as a concert venue after a couple of dismal years, and it’s all because of Kyle Raker. The boss of pace-setting indie promoter Norse Korea Presents was officially brought aboard as the club’s in-house talent buyer to restore the shine of a once-defining stage, and he’s since made BB a serious destination for marquee indie music once again.

Best live resurrection

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Best stage upgrade Firestone Live

578 N. Orange Ave., 407-872-0066, firestonelive.net

Though Firestone invested in becoming a live venue several years ago, as the brand overhaul that inserted “live” into its name attests, the spot was constantly panned for operational and infrastructural issues. But even though it’s returned to its club roots, its stage recently underwent a whopping overhaul that opened its walls for a more than 180-degree view, lowered its floor for more optimal viewing and engagement, and upgraded its sound, lights and effects to the tune of a quarter-million dollars. Now wouldn’t it be a waste not to flex all that on some big concerts?

Best analog dating service The Falcon

819 E. Washington St., 407-423-3060, thefalconbar.com

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PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER GARCIA

Tired of kissing all those frogs you meet online? Bitch, we all are. Screw you, Tinder. Created by the much-missed artist and beer slinger Karen Russell, this completely analog dating service brings the fun back into the actual Orlando dating scene, and we approve of all the choices. Here’s what you do: 1) Grab a sheet from a bartender. 2) Fill that shit out. 3) Hop into the photo booth, staple your favorite shot onto said sheet, and then tape it to the wall with the other singles. 4) Put the three remaining photos into the envelopes under the profiles you like the most, with your digits scrawled on the back. Finis. Falcon Bar owner Melissa says it’s working and people are using it all the time, so hurry up and get down there before someone steals your prince.

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Best local showing on national tv

Roadkill Ghost Choir on Late Show With David Letterman We told you these DeLand kids were gonna go places. Well, this year, one of those places was national TV as the musical feature on the Late Show With David Letterman. Not bad for a band that hasn’t even released a full album yet. Fundamentally excellent and current in sound, this astonishingly deep folkrock group is easily one of the most complete bands this area has ever yielded. Hopefully, they’ll go from big promise to full-on breakout when their hotly anticipated debut LP, In Tongues, is released on Aug. 19. 136

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PHOTO COURTESY OF ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR

roadkillghostchoir.com

Best immersive Concert experience John Vanderslice at the Acre

PHOTO BY JAMES DECHERT

4421 Edgewater Drive, theacreorlando.com

Despite – or perhaps because of – his lack of concert-organizing experience, local culture prod Dave Plotkin set a new standard for special musical engagements when his favorite musician returned to play Orlando. Experimental popsmith John Vanderslice usually has his pick of the top indie clubs when he comes here. But last November, he went off the booking grid and let Plotkin build a fresh event around him. Between the arty souvenir tickets, the dynamic setting and the live local collaborations, it was a mold-breaking, 360-degree experience that impressed the audience and – according to what Vanderslice told us – the artist alike.

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Best music star Crushing on orlando Talib Kweli talibkweli.com

With four DJ dates, Questlove graced Orlando plenty this year, but those nights were the fortunate windfall of bigger scheduling coincidences. Hip-hop royalty Talib Kweli, however, has notched a surprisingly deep association with our city. He spins here frequently thanks to Bullitt Bar, shot his latest music video (“What’s Real”) in public at the same bar in May and recently signed the tropic-cool Niko Is – one of Orlando’s freshest, most original MCs – to his label. We think shit’s getting serious.

Best inventive pub Crawls Orlando Pub Crawls orlandopubcrawl.com

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PHOTO COURTESY OF TALIB KWELI

One does not just attend an Orlando Pub Crawl – one must live up to the group’s expectations for what makes a pub crawl special. Sometimes, that means dressing up like a zombie, or pulling your old ’80s gear out of the closet, or going out in a full masquerade ensemble. Check the website for the next event, dress for the theme and meet your new drinking buddies at the designated starting point. Thank you, Orlando Pub Crawl, for raising the bar for downtown drinking.

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Best Unexpected sellout UFC sells out the Amway Center

In April, the UFC held its first-ever fight in Orlando. It had been two years since the UFC had held a match in Florida at all, and the last time it tried – in Fort Lauderdale in 2012 – the organization struggled to sell tickets. Disheartened by the lackluster response, UFC president Dana White expressed disappointment that Florida didn’t seem to be a strong market for the sport, and the UFC has avoided Florida ever since. But Orlando may have changed everything. The arena sold out all 17,000 seats for the match and broke the record for ticket sales at the gate. Fans of UFC should rejoice at that news – White has since said he was so pleased by the warm welcome Orlando showed the sport that he expects it to return again soon, and often.

Best Upset locals ain’t mad about UCF Knights at the Fiesta Bowl 407-823-1000, ucfknights.com

In a landmark year for the University of Central Florida, the UCF Knights football team became champions of the American Athletic Conference and, thus, pitted against the Baylor Bears in the Fiesta Bowl. The Knights dominated most of the game, but the Bears tied it up just after the half, making it momentarily a nail-biter. But when Knights quarterback Blake Bortles took a knee to run out the final moments on the game clock, he solidified what Knights fans already knew to be true – this team was a winner, making history by taking the trophy in their first-ever showing in a BCS bowl game. 142

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Best Beach 1. New Smyrna Beach 2. (tie) Siesta Key 2. (tie) Clearwater Beach 3. Cocoa Beach

Best Billiards hall 1. Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, sportstownbilliards.com 2. Trick Shots, multiple locations, trickshotsbilliards.com 3. Spatz Billiards and Liquor, 1025 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-3354, spatzwp.com

Best Boot camp 1. Camp Gladiator, 2501 General Rees Ave., 512-494-6966, campgladiator.com 2. Bill Bennett Boot Camps, 1035 N. Mills Ave., 407-242-5333, billbennettbootcamps.com 3. Forte Fitness, 407-340-7618, fortefitness.com

Best city park 1. Lake Eola Park 2. Cranes Roost Park, Altamonte Springs 3. Central Park, Winter Park

Best dog park 1. Lake Baldwin Dog Park (formerly Fleet Peeples) 2. Dr. P. Phillips Community Park 3. Paw Park, Sanford

Best gym 1. (tie) YMCA, multiple locations, ymcacentralflorida.com 1. (tie) Planet Fitness, multiple locations, planetfitness.com 2. Orlando Power Yoga, 2415 E. South St., 407-719-0101; also 6735 Conroy Road, orlandopoweryoga.com 3. LA Fitness, multiple locations, lafitness.com

Best local sports team 1. Orlando City Soccer Club, orlandocitysc.com 2. UCF Knights, ucfknights.com 3. Orlando Magic, nba.com/magic

Best massage therapy/ Bodywork 1. Massage Envy, multiple locations, massageenvy.com 2. Hand and Stone, multiple locations, handandstone.com 3. Balance Orlando Massage and Structural Bodywork, 1220 Edgewater Drive, 407-704-8867, balanceorlando.com

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Best way to drunk-bike home without getting a BUi fine or getting run over Orlando Urban Trail

Magnolia to Princeton, cityoforlando.net

Following the old Dinky Line rail, this bike path cuts from Magnolia behind the old OUC Ivanhoe Building at Lake Ivanhoe all the way over to Loch Haven Park on Princeton. During the day you can spot joggers and commuters shortcutting their way through the Ivanhoe neighborhood, but at night you’ll spot a different kind of beast – the drunken, swerving bicyclist headed home after the bar. We’re looking forward to the day when it connects to downtown via Gertrude’s Walk, as the city promised it would, but for now we’ll keep using it to bypass Mills Avenue and hop through Mead Gardens when we want to hit up the Winter Park Farmers Market on Saturdays.

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Best marketing campaign for a local sports organization Orlando City Soccer Club’s #paintthecitypurple

With the Citrus Bowl undergoing renovation, and the professional soccer stadium that will eventually be home to Orlando’s soon-to-be MLS team still in its planning phase, Orlando City Soccer has had to play their 2014 season at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex in Lake Buena Vista – quite a haul from downtown and in a location that’s nowhere near as visible in Orlando proper. But the club didn’t let their fan base forget that they’re still Orlando’s hometown team. When they were ready to reveal their new logo this spring, they embarked on a high-profile mural campaign, called #paintthecitypurple, in which they hired local street artists to create colorful murals from downtown to Colonialtown. Many of those murals still adorn the buildings they were painted on, and they’ve brought a nice splash of color to some bland streetscapes – not to mention a very visible reminder that Orlando loves its soccer club.

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READERS POLL Best mini golf coUrse 1. Congo River Golf, multiple locations, congoriver.com 2. Hollywood Drive-In Golf, CityWalk Orlando, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-802-4848, hollywooddriveingolf.com 3. Pirate’s Cove, multiple locations, piratescove.net

Best place to Bike 1. Cady Way Trail 2. (tie) Seminole Wekiva Trail 2. (tie) Baldwin Park Trail 3. Cross Seminole Trail

Best place to Bowl 1. Colonial Lanes, 400 N. Primrose Drive, 407-8940361, coloniallanes.net 2. Splitsville, 1494 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-938-7467, splitsvillelanes.com 3. Aloma Bowl, 2530 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-671-8675, alomabowlingcenters.com

READERS POLL Best pUBlic golf coUrse 1. Dubsdread Golf Course, 549 W. Par St., 407-246-2551, historicaldubsdread.com 2. Winter Park Country Club, 761 Old England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-3339, winterparkcountryclub.com 3. Orange County National, 16301 Phil Ritson Way, Winter Garden, 407-656-2626, ocngolf.com

Best pUBlic pool

PHOTO COURTESY OF SAVAGE RACE

1. Cady Way Pool, 2525 Cady Way, Winter Park, 407-740-7956, ymcacentralflorida.com 2. College Park Community Center, 2393 Elizabeth Ave., 407-246-4447, cityoforlando.net 3. Fort Gatlin Recreation Complex, 2009 Lake Margaret Drive, 407-254-9820, orangecountyfl.net

Best canoeing/kayaking 1. Wekiwa Springs State Park, 1800 Wekiwa Circle, Apopka, 407-884-2008, floridastateparks.org/wekiwasprings 2. Wekiva Island, 1014 Miami Springs Road, Longwood, 407-862-1500, wekivaisland.com 3. Blue Springs State Park, 2100 W. French Ave., Orange City, 386-775-3663, floridastateparks.org/bluespring

Best crazy run Savage Race

Oct. 25-26, Little Everglades Ranch, 17951 Hamilton Road, Dade City, savagerace.com

Are you a savage? If so, check out this 7-mile obstacle course returning to Florida this fall. From ice baths to barbed wire, Savage Race is the big leagues of fun runs. Instead of getting showered with paint or glitter or some other cute but not terribly challenging gimmick, Savage Race presents you with insane obstacles and challenges. Lots of them. Think mud, fire, the aforementioned ice baths and barbed wire, and plenty more hellishness. Where some races promise that you’ll walk away from the event with glow sticks or a sweetly paintsplattered shirt, Savage Race promises you muddy underwear. A free beer and a medal commemorating your intense victory are also included in registration.

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READERS POLL Best theme park 1. Islands of Adventure, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-224-4233, universalorlando.com 2. Epcot, 200 Epcot Center Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-824-4321, disneyworld.disney. go.com/destinations/ epcot 3. Universal Studios Orlando, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-363-8000, universalorlando.com

Best theme-park ride 1. Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Islands of Adventure, universalorlando.com 2. The Incredible Hulk, Islands of Adventure, universalorlando.com 3. Soarin’, Epcot, disneyworld.disney. go.com/destinations/ epcot

Best toUrist activity oUtside of a theme park 1. Going to the beaches 2. Wekiwa Springs State Park 3. Gatorland

Best water park

Best new theme park thrill

Diagon Alley and Gringotts at Universal Orlando 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-363-8000, universalorlando.com

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Best yoga stUdio 1. Inspirit Yoga, 7575 Kingspointe Parkway, 407-203-6866, inspirityoga andfitness.com 2. Orlando Power Yoga, 2415 E. South St., 407-7190101; 6735 Conroy Road, orlandopoweryoga.com 3. College Park Yoga, 3029 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-7871, collegeparkyoga.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

While Escape From Gringotts, the signature E-Ticket attraction at Universal Studios Florida’s new Wizarding World of Harry Potter – Diagon Alley area, is far from the wildest ride in town, there’s no denying that this roller-coaster/simulator hybrid is Orlando’s most innovative thrill since Forbidden Journey opened next door at Islands of Adventure. The only thing more thrilling than riding rail carts through the goblin-run bank is exploring the immersive, interactive land surrounding it. Just watch out for that fire-breathing dragon.

1. Aquatica, SeaWorld’s Water Park, 5800 Water Play Way, 407-351-3600, aquaticabyseaworld.com 2. Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon Water Park, 1145 Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-5604120, disneyworld.disney. go/typhoon-lagoon 3. Wet ’n Wild Orlando, 6200 International Drive, 407-351-1800, wetnwildorlando.com

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Best Bike ride Critical Mass

Orlando Loch Haven Park, 900 E. Princeton St., facebook.com/orlandocriticalmass

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PHOTO BY CHRIS TRICOLI, VIA ORLANDO CRITICAL MASS

Critical Mass is a monthly community bike ride meant to promote awareness of alternative means of transportation. Hundreds of people meet at 6 p.m. every last Friday of the month at Loch Haven Park, then fill the streets with cyclists, riding around Orlando en masse (get it?). The best thing about Critical Mass is that there are so many people riding together that it’s the safest way to enjoy a bike tour of the City Beautiful, which was recently designated as the worst place to be a pedestrian in the country. The pace is steady but leisurely, everyone is smiling – except that guy at the stop sign trying to get home – and it’s quite possibly one of the best cycling events we’ve ever taken part in.

Best place to take a hike

Tosohatchee Wildlife Management Area

PHOTO BY ASHLEY BELANGER

3365 Taylor Creek Road, Christmas, 407-568-5893, myfwc.com

Head east on Colonial Drive until the road forks, then steer right to take State Road 520 until you see the small brown sign beckoning you to turn left and discover Tosohatchee Wildlife Management Area. It’s off the beaten path, but its many trails offer a rare solitude typically encountered exclusively in apocalyptic storybooks and doomsday movies. Once inside, enjoy hiking the rugged Florida landscapes – quaint ponds, open fields of wildflowers, canopies of hanging moss – populated in the early morning hours by wild turkeys, boar, deer and more birds than Audubon Park documents on its street signs. If you drive long enough, you end up deep in the wood at Lake Charlie, where eagles have been spied and sunbathing gators grunt, perhaps appreciating the varied terrain as much as (or more than) we do. orlandoweekly.com

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Best gang war

Orlando Ingress community ingress.com

Whether you’re on the side of the heroic Resistance or the stupid, stupid Enlightened, Ingress, the mobile game from Google’s Niantic Labs, is probably the first thing you pull up on your phone when you go someplace new. Accurately described as “weaponized Google Maps,” players choose a team and try to claim as much real-life territory as possible. But instead of traditional gang markers like bad graffiti tags and hand signs, Ingressers use the app to claim imaginary “portals” that appear at various landmarks around town and link them into “fields.” Judging by how quickly the landscape of blue and green fields changes, the Orlando Ingress community is doing a great job of getting out there and ruining one another’s days.

Best sport you didn’t think was physically possible Orlando Bicycle Polo

1890 E. Church St., facebook.com/orlandobicyclepolo

We all know how to ride a bike (or if you don’t, you at least understand the concept). But have you ever tried to ride a bike with a mallet in one hand while someone else rides right at you and a ball rolls between your wheels? Bike polo is exactly what it sounds like: a sweaty, fun and potentially disastrous activity. It gets safer as you learn to brake left-handed, stop on a dime and switch the mallet between hands while weaving between other cyclists. It’s not a sport recommended for the uncoordinated, unless you’re willing to fall off your horse a couple of times. Orlando Bike Polo welcomes all skill levels with spare mallets, bikes and beer (because everyone falls) and meets every Sunday at 5 p.m. and Thursday at 6 p.m.

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Best place to have a Beer in a theme park Rose and Crown Pub and Dining Room

United Kingdom Pavilion, Epcot, Walt Disney World, 407-939-3463, disneyworld.disney.go.com

Drinking around the world is becoming a cultural phenomenon; people fly here from all over the globe to see how many countries they can drink through without passing out in the bushes by Canada. But the best place to grab a pint in this park is at the Rose and Crown. It’s air-conditioned, it’s staffed with fresh-faced kids from the U.K. who probably drink more than you do, and there’s a little piano in the corner where a British dame plays fancy tunes as you spill a Black-and-Tan on your neighbor’s Crocs. If you stay here long enough, you can catch the fireworks from the bar without having to smell the hellishly sulfurous smoke that washes over the area afterward.

Best indoor challenge Aiguille Rock Climbing Center

999 Charles St., Longwood, 407-332-1430, aiguille.com

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PHOTO COURTESY OF DISNEY

We may live in one of the flattest states in the nation, but don’t let that stop you from spicing up your workout routine with some vertical challenges. Aiguille Rock Climbing Center has 10,000 square feet of rock-climbing walls up to 36 feet high. The rock-climbing gym, which has 27 top-rope walls, three climbing courses to help you improve your form and yoga classes to help you stay limber, offers enough stuff to satisfy the seasoned veteran and rookie climber alike. Afraid you’ll master the gym’s challenges too easily, and you’ll get tired of climbing the same routes? Aiguille modifies its climbing walls every few weeks to keep things interesting for regulars.

CHECK OUT THE BEST OF ORLANDO WINNERS AT

ORLANDOWEEKLY.COM/BOO2014

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Best puzzling sports mascot

Tommy the Tar, Rollins College 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park, 407-646-2000, rollins.edu

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PHOTO COURTESY OF ROLLINS COLLEGE

Somehow, despite the school’s landlocked locale, the Rollins College mascot is a burly sailor named Tommy the Tar. The school spins a tale about how the “tar” (slang for a super-tough and aggressive open-sea sailor) became the school mascot because Rollins, although not on the ocean, was used as a training ground for sailors back in World War I thanks to its location on the shores of Lake Virginia. Other people say it has something to do with a donkey named “Tar Baby,” donated by the college president, that used to live on campus and eat the nicely manicured grass all day. Either way, we find this odd Popeye-looking mascot totally endearing.

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Friday, 1

Partake in a Renaissance tradition and conceal your everyday identity at Orchid Garden, the charming Parisian venue at Church Street Station. Orlando Masquerade is sure to be a decadent and mysterious evening of festive costumes and paper faces on parade, but more than that, the downtown party also benefits the Orange County Public Schools Back to School Drive, which helps provide backpacks and school supplies to needy classrooms. Doors open at 10 p.m., with complimentary entry if you donate academic goodies, so bring those Crayolas, round-tipped scissors and glue sticks in addition to your dazzling mask. – Stephanie Garcia

EVENTS Despite being the new kid on the art-venue block, Snap has already established itself as the place for innovative, cutting-edge Orlando arts shizzle (despite being an outlier from the Downtown Arts District gallery cluster). This salon-style event is sure to be more icing on the cultural cake, though. The Snap Attacks exhibit is still hanging, so be sure to check it out if you missed the opening. Expect live performances by Palmer Reed and Truly Def, a couple of sets by DJ Nigel John, a fashion photography shootout with a live model, drinks by the Courtesy Bar, food by Sushi 101, a beauty bar by the Beauty Spot, coffee by Credo and “more surprises.” There’s a $25 cover, as this is a fundraiser for Snap Cultural Events, but if you take part in everything listed above you’ll get your money’s worth and then some. – Brendan O’Connor

Orlando Masquerade

OUR PICKS FOR THE BEST EVENTS THIS WEEK Wednesday-Sunday, 30-3

Thursday, 31

Sad to be missing Comic-Con? Fret not. Two cons kick off in Orlando this week that will make you forget all about San Diego. Happening Wednesday through Sunday, LeakyCon prides itself on having the “most uniquely geekly programming around.” That means tons of actors from Supernatural, Doctor Who and the Harry Potter films; author John Green (The Fault in Our Stars); Team Starkid, and other geeky celebs, plus book clubs, improv lessons, Disney sing-alongs and crafting tutorials. There’s even going to be a Twilight: Breaking Dawn screening with live commentary from geek royalty including Buffy’s Amber Benson. If you want something similarly nerdtastic and more locally sourced, check out CONjure in the Universal Studios ’hood Friday through Sunday. It’s a little more familyfriendly, with its Phineas and Ferb and Adventure Time lineups, but it also has that dash of adult nerd with some Doctor Who, Firefly, Face Off and Squidbillies star connections. So much nerding and so little time! Choose your own adventure. – Brendan O’Connor

ART If you’ve been around Orlando long enough, chances are you’ve come across this local artist and one of his many art projects. Doug Rhodehamel, aka “that guy who makes all those paper bag mushrooms,” has a new selection of art hanging at Mosaic Hair Studio, and the grand opening is free (but more importantly, so is the wine). Whereas Rhodehamel usually makes his unique installations out of some form of reclaimed material (water bottles, cardboard, even dessicated plant parts from Leu Gardens), this show is purely 2-D. If you’ve never had a chance to see Rhodehamel’s paintings, be sure to check out this show. It, like everything he does, is sure to be a real treat. – Kaleb Quast

LeakyCon and CONjure

FLORA BY DOUG RHODEHAMEL

EVENTS

Doug Rhodehamel: Flora

7-9 p.m. | Mosaic Hair Studio, 541 Virginia Drive | dougrhodehamel.com | free

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9 p.m. | Orchid Garden, 122 W. Church St. | orlandomasquerade.com | free-$15

Snap After Dark

8-11 p.m. | Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive | snaporlando.com; $25

SNAP SPACE PHOTO BY EMILY JOURDAN COURTESY OF SNAP ORLANDO

EVENTS

Saturday, 2

Whether you lived through the shoegazey, angst-ridden era of the early ’90s or you were born at the height of its eminence, the period provokes a distinct nostalgia – even in those who can’t really remember it. This shared reminiscence is why Will’s Pub is hosting a night dedicated to everything 1994, including food, games and cover sets of songs by bands you probably listened to on your Discman. The musical stylings of the night are left in the capable hands of the Pauses, Wet Nurse and the New Lows, revisiting all those cassettes that littered the floor of your mom’s station wagon – Dinosaur Jr., TLC, Nine Inch Nails, Veruca Salt, etc. Did we mention there will be a Weezer bluealbum-inspired photobooth? So grab your reclaimed flannels, beep your BFFs and set your time machine to 1994 (as if you ever left). P.S. Do yourself a favor and visit thepauses.com/1994. – Lauren Ball

MUSIC

1994 – One Night Celebrating Music and Culture From the Year

THE PAUSES PHOTO BY HARRYSON THEVENIN

MUSIC

The Welzeins Album Release Party With a melting-pot range of influences that sprints from Led Zeppelin to Ty Segall while nodding to Pink Floyd, Surfer Blood and the White Stripes along the way, the Welzeins aren’t looking to paint a pretty picture but rather melt your face off Dalí-style with their self-titled debut. Their album release party this week finds the duo – comprised of guitarist-vocalist R.J. Nordstrom and drummer Matt Wassum – back at Backbooth this week, a venue we’d note they’ve graced before if that weren’t an insult to their righteous

sonic assault. Highlights from the new album include the surfy, screaming “Miss Mosshart,” the garage gauze laid over the wounded howl of “Disappear” and the frenetic, rocking roll-out of “Running on E, Jogging on Shrooms.” Their live shows speak volumes beyond the controlled chaos of this superb debut, making this particular show a perfect opportunity to wild out with one of Orlando’s most promising new acts. – Ashley Belanger with Fast Preacher, the Grizzly Atoms, Adam and the Plastic | 7 p.m. | Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St. | 407-999-2570 | backbooth.com | $5-$8

Sunday, 3

Cuisine Corner: The Pastrami Project EVENTS What to make of the fact that one of Orlando’s tastiest New Yorkstyle delis has wheels? While it isn’t as strictly kosher as, say, Brown’s NY Deli in Maitland, George Markward’s Pastrami Project food truck offers a bite of home to any nostalgic New Yorker in search of a bagel topped with Nova and Philly, a perfectly brined pastrami on chewy rye, or a crunchy half-sour. As part of the Orange County Library System’s stellar new(ish) Cuisine Corner series of adult programs, spend an hour with Markward learning “how to re-create your favorite traditional old world delicatessen sandwiches of the past.” (August is National Sandwich Month, after all.) Markward will share recipes and kitchen techniques, and if we’re all lucky, a few samples, too. – Jessica Bryce Young

4 p.m. | Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd. | 407-835-7323 | ocls.info | free

with the Pauses, Wet Nurse, the New Lows | 9 p.m. | Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | 407-748-8256 | willspub.org | $8-$10

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THe week

THEWEEK

Wednesday, july 30-tuesday, aug. 5 Co m p i l e d by b r e n da n o ’ Co n n o r

MUSIC

Wednesday, July 30

ConCerTS/eVenTS Eugene Snowden’s Ten Pints of Truth 10 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; free Imperial Acoustic Soundcheck: Goose and Beans 9 pm; The Imperial at Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave.; free Jazz Garage 10 pm; The Smiling Bison, 745 Bennett Road; free; 407-259-8036 Lifestyles: Elements of Hip Hop 8 pm; Firestone Live, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $7-$10; 407-872-0066 MKTO 6 pm; House of Blues, 1490 E. Buena Vista Drive; $35-$135; houseofblues.com Oathbreaker, Cult Leader 7:30 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $10; 407-999-2570 The New Sam Rivers Rivbea Orchestra 10 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10

ClUBS/loUnGeS Acoustic Wednesdays 8:30 pm; Rogue Pub, 3076 Curry Ford Road; free; 407-985-3778 Blues Jam 8 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; free; 407-328-4848

Dirty Bingo with Rob Love 6:30 pm; The Peacock Room, 1321 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-228-0048 Karaoke 9 pm; Big Daddy’s Roadhouse, 3001 Corrine Drive; free; 407-644-2844

Torque 10 pm; Vixen Bar, 118 S. Orange Ave.; free; 877-386-7346 Trivia 7:30 pm; Hamburger Mary’s, 110 W. Church St.; free; 321-319-0600

Mac and Cheese Wednesday 10 pm; Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-839-0457

ConCerTS/eVenTS Audio Z 8 pm; Shovelhead Lounge, 900 S. Highway 17-92, Longwood; free; 407-332-9199

Bring Your Own Vinyl 10 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-228-0804

Buster Keaton and Friends 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540

College Night 10 pm; RBarr Discotek and Cocktail Boutique, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; free; 407-412-5039 Con Clase 10 pm; Vanity, 110 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-497-4828

Bottomless Cup Wednesdays Native Social Bar, 27 W. Church St.; $7; 407-403-2938

Marx Open Mic Jam Night 9 pm-midnight; Belle Isle Bayou, 5180 S. Conway Road, Belle Isle; free; 407-250-6763

Dirty Heads, Pepper 7 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney; SOLD OUT; 407-934-2583

Craft Night Wednesdays noon; Sportstown, 2414 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-894-6258

Red Carpet Karaoke 8 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980

Luis Guitar Project 8:30 pm; Ceviche Tapas Bar and Restaurant, 125 W. Church St.; free; 321-281-8140

Deck Teck 9 pm; Thee Grotto, 360 State Lane; free; 407-867-5309

Spin 10 pm; ONO Nightclub, 1 S. Orange Ave.; call for price; 407-701-9875

O’Brother, Royal Thunder 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $10; 407-999-2570

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Bebop Blues Jam and Voo Doo Party 8 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980 Blues Jam 8 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; free; 407-328-4848

Thursday, July 31

Latin Night with DJs Jordan Acosta, Gato 10 pm; Roxy Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; $10$15; 407-898-4004

ClUBS/loUnGeS

Epic Trivia 7 pm; Keg ’n Cork, 1566 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park ; free; 407-467-1078 Girls Night Out 7-10 pm; The Fifth, 112 S. Orange Ave.; $20; 407-649-0000

Ignition: Overwerk 10 pm; Firestone Live, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-872-0066 Latin Night 9 pm; The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571 Karaoke 9 pm; Big Daddy’s Roadhouse, 3001 Corrine Drive; free; 407-644-2844 Ladies Night with DJ Jimmy Joslin 9 pm; Vixen Bar, 118 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1529 Locker Room Thursdays 5 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888 Naked Thursdays 10 pm; Shakai, 43 E. Pine St.; contact for price; 321-332-5749 Open Mic with Chuck Culbertson Little Fish Huge Pond, 401 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499 COnTInued On PaGe 161

MAXWELL PHOTO BY ERIC JOHNSON

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THe week

eSCaPe FeTISH and CoSTUMe ParTy

lifestyles: elements of Hip Hop More than 40 musicians, artists, designers and more champion the hip-hop lifestyle. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday; Firestone Live, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $7-$10; 407-883-9033; firestonelive.net Sharknado 2: The Second One watch Party Watch the SyFy original movie with a bunch of strangers in case you get scared. 9 p.m. Wednesday; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060; thefalconbar.com

Greater orlando equality Mix, mingle and support the struggle for equality over light bites and drinks. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Thursday; Grand Bohemian Hotel Orlando, 325 S. Orange Ave.; free; eqfl.org/equalityconnection/ orlando3

Dannic aug. 7 at Firestone live

Ignition: overwerk Canadian producer and songwriter. 10 p.m. Thursday; Firestone Live, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-883-9033; firestonelive.net

Mark Starr Mark Edward Jasper Starr is back in town to make you dance your cares away with Mathew Scot and Lola Anne Brandt. 10 p.m. Friday; Sandwich Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; contact for price; facebook.com/ sandwichbarorlando war on wall Street Crossfit competition and street party where some people exercise and others get drunk while watching. 10 a.m. Saturday; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court Streets.; free; 407-849-0471; hardtokillathletics.com

Crosby, Stills and Nash, Aug. 7 at Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre Matt Woods, Aug. 7 at Will’s Pub City Tucker, Aug. 7 at Backbooth PeeWee Longway, Johnny Cinco, Aug. 7 at The Beacham Dannic, Aug. 7 at Firestone Live Monsters of Surf Tour: Round Eye, Daikaiju, Aug. 8 at Will’s Pub

depth Charge 1 year Celebration with amit Celebrate with guest DJ Amit, who’s

Foxing, Aug. 8 at Backbooth

come all the way from the UK to make you dance. 9 p.m. Monday; Bullitt Bar, 33 E. Pine St.; free; facebook.com/depthchargeorlando

WMFE Benefit Show: The Mud Flappers, Aug. 8 at The Social

escape Fetish and Costume Party A fetish and costume party with games, performers and things you can’t unsee. 10 p.m. Tuesday; RBarr Discotek and Cocktail Boutique, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; $5-$8; 407-4125039; facebook.com/escapeorlando

Feed Me: Psychedelic Tour, Aug. 8 at Firestone Live Brown Note, Roosevelt Collier Trio, Aug. 9 at Will’s Pub

Kishi Bashi, Tall Tall Trees, Aug. 9 at The Social Hip Hop Legends: DMX, Aug. 9 at Silver Spurs Arena at Osceola Heritage Park Sam Tripoli, Brian Redban, NIck Pupo, Law Smith, Aug. 10 at Will’s Pub Miniature Tigers, The Criswolds, Finish Ticket, Aug. 10 at The Social Keyshia Cole, Adrian Marcel, Aug. 11 at House of Blues T-Pain: Drankin Patna Tour, Aug. 11 at The Beacham Kontrol: Wave Racer, Aug. 12 at The Social Old Gray, Scowler, Aug. 12 at Backbooth Ted Nugent, Aug. 12 at House of Blues Off!, Bad Antics, Gay Kiss, Aug. 13 at Backbooth

Ignition: Ftampa, Brazilian Carnival, Aug. 14 at Firestone Live The Grizzly Atoms, Aug. 14 at Will’s Pub Luna Bellum, Jahnopa, Filthy Dineros, Aug. 15 at Backbooth Plastic Planets, Dog Apollo, Floodwork, The Inverted, Aug. 15 at The Social Ms. Lauryn Hill, Aug. 15 at House of Blues Summer Sessions: Slightly Stoopid, Aug. 15 at Riverfront Park, Daytona Beach Ben Prestage, Aug. 15 at Will’s Pub The Hip Abduction, Sidereal, Moska Project, Aug. 16 at The Social Scale the Summit, Glass Cloud, Erra, Monuments, Reflections, Save the Fallen, Aug. 16 at Backbooth

O-Town, Aug. 17 at Hard Rock Live Obliterati, Aug. 17 at Will’s Pub Ignition: 12th Planet, Aug. 21 at Firestone Live Crocodiles, Aug. 21 at Will’s Pub Donavon Frankenreiter, Aug. 21 at The Plaza Live Classic Albums Live: Dark Side of the Moon, Aug. 22 at Hard Rock Live Cassadee Pope, Aug. 22 at House of Blues Rug, David Lareau, The Copperpots, Aug. 23 at Backbooth J Alvarez, Aug. 23 at House of Blues Tori Amos, Aug. 23 at Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre Broadcaster, Hard Girls, The New Lows, Aug. 23 at The Peacock Room

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SUNDAY, 3

Shitstorm M U S I C The heavy music that comes out of Miami is as extreme as the city’s tropical monsoon climate, and few artists in all its subgenres have the hefty pedigree of Jonathan Nuñez, whose noisy grindcore bursts as part of Shitstorm pack as much power as the sludgy stoner metal he creates as part of Torche. Shitstorm, which also features Torche drummer Rick Smith, thrusts its thrashy songs with a forked tongue, with no frills and no tangents to distract from the classic grind. This shit cuts right to the quick.

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THE LINEUP OF THIS SHOW IS NO JOKE; YOU MAY LOSE YOUR EARS

Platinum Thursday 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-3888 Poker Tournament 8 pm; Belle Isle Bayou, 5180 S. Conway Road, Belle Isle; free; 407-250-6763 Sleuth’s Swingin’ ’70s Karaoke 8:30 pm; Sleuths Mystery Dinner Shows, 8267 International Drive; $10; 407-363-1985 Techno Thursdays 9 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060 Thirsty Thursday 7 pm; Marlow’s Tavern, 9101 International Drive; free; 407-351-3627

On some tours, you can catch an expanded Shitstorm, with Kylesa’s Eric Hernandez added on bass and vocals, but this week, expect the original core trio to create a charged uproar relying on drums, guitar and vocals. Lift the sandbags off your eyes if you’ve been sleeping on Shitstorm, because they only tour in Torche’s downtime, and those guys just booked a fall Australian tour. – Ashley Belanger with Holly Hunt, Dzoavits, American Party Machine, Consequence | 9 p.m. | Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | 407-748-8256 | willspub.org | $8

FrIday, aug. 1

ConCerTS/eVenTS Daryl Hance 10 pm; The Peacock Room, 1321 N. Mills Ave.; $5; 407-228-0048 Friday Night Live 7-9 pm; Cranes Roost Park, 274 Cranes Roost Blvd., Altamonte Springs; free; 407-571-8863 Henrietta, The Hundred Acre Woods, Adjy 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $5; 407-999-2570 Kaleigh Baker 9:30 pm; The Milk Bar, 2424 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-4954 Radio Drive By, This Is All Now, 6 pm; Bombshell’s Tavern, 5405 Edgewater Drive; $10-$15; 407-730-3999

Soul Taxi Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540 The Early November Acoustic, You Blew It, Empire, Empire 7 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $15; 407-246-1419 Teen Open Mic Night 6:30-11:30 pm; Maximum Entertainment Group, 1303 N. Orange Ave.; $45; 407-601-7001

ClUBS/loUnGeS Exxcess Friday 9 pm; Vyce Lounge, 112 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-0000 Foreplay Fridays 5-9 pm; The Brink, 47 W. Amelia St.; free; 407-388-4384 COnTInued On PaGe 162

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ConCerTS/eVenTS Friday Piano Bar with Kelly Richards 6-9 pm; The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571 Good Friday 10 pm; ONO Nightclub, 1 S. Orange Ave.; call for price; 407-701-9875 Indulge with Disco Jr, DJ Peek, DJ Tru Story, DJ Nice 10 pm; Roxy Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; $5-$12; 407-898-4004 Infusion Friday 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-3888 Karaoke with Cindy 7:3010 pm; American Legion Memorial Post 19, 5320 Alloway St.; free; 407-293-9515 Music Remembrance Jazz Trio 8 pm; White Wolf Cafe, 1829 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-895-9911

Redrum Fridays with DJ Rob Bates 9 pm; Thee Grotto, 360 State Lane; free; 407-867-5309 Sky High Fridays with Cliff T 9 pm; Sky Sixty, 60 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1599 Wall Street Plaza Block Party 11 pm; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court streets; free; 407-849-0471

Beres Hammond 9 pm; Gaylord Palms Resort, 6000 W. Osceola Parkway, Kissimmee; $35-$57; 407-586-1600 Bluegrass Concert Series 8 pm; Garden Theatre, 160 W. Plant St., Winter Garden; $15-$25; 407-877-4736 Country Night 8 pm; Black Hammock Fish Camp, 2316 Black Hammock Fish Camp Road, Oviedo; free; 407-365-1244 Eugene Snowden 9:30 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060 Maxwell 8 pm; Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre, 401 W. Livingston St.; $39$128.50; 407-849-2020 PowerGrid 9:30 pm; Bloodhound Brew Pub & Eatery, 5801 Conroy Windermere Road; free; 407-578-5711 Star-Spangled Summer Concerts 7:15 pm; Daytona Beach Bandshell, Oceanfront Park, Daytona Beach; free; 386-673-2080

ClUBS/loUnGeS Breakbeats with DJs Rob-E, Security and Kemper 9 pm; Thee Grotto, 360 State Lane; free-$5; 407-867-5309 Curren$y 6 pm; Firestone Live, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $30-$50; 407-872-0066 DJs Cliff T., Matt McCoy 10 pm; Sky Sixty, 60 N. Orange Ave.; call for price; 407-246-1599 Funky Rendezvous 10 pm; Sandwich Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; $5 Kontrol 10 pm; Roxy Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; free$15; 407-898-4004 Lava Saturdays 10 pm; Liquid, 17 W. Pine St.; free$10; 407-285-470 Midnight Mass Dance Party midnight; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $4; 407-999-2570 Pulsate Saturday 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407649-3888 Saturday with the Beat 10 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $10-$20; 407-648-8363

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Nerdy Karaoke 9 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd.; free; 407-332-9636

1994- A One Night Event Celebrating Music and Culture from the Year: The Pauses, Wet Nurse, The New Lows 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $8-$10; 407-748-8256

The Welzeins Album Release Party featuring Fast Preacher, The Grizzly Atoms, Atom and the Plastic 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $5; 407-999-2570

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[EVENTS] Colonialtown Block Party see page 177

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Saturdays at the Falcon with DJ Smilin’ Dan 10 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060

Acoustic Open Mic 9 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980

Wall Street Plaza Block Party 11 pm; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court streets; free; 407-849-0471

Barrio Sunday 10 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $5-$15; 407-648-8363

ConCerTS/eVenTS An Evening with Yes 7:30 pm; Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre, 401 W. Livingston St.; $38-$167; 407-849-2020 Filter 6 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $17.50$24.50; 407-934-2583 John Valeri with Derek Monet 6 pm; Jazz Tastings, 164 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-661-1190 Old Again, Head North, A Will Away, Hungover, Haunter 5 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $7; 407-999-2570

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Blues and Buffet Jam hosted by Doc Williamson 5-9 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; free; 407-328-4848 Blues Jam 5 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; free; 407-328-4848 DJ Stranger Jazz/Funk Brunch 11 am-2 pm; Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 601-B S. New York Ave., Winter Park; free, various menu prices; 407-228-3898 Dogs Day Out 1-9 pm; Orlando Brewing, 1301 Atlanta Ave.; free; 407-872-1117 Harry’s Honey Badger Cave 8 pm-midnight; Little Fish Huge Pond, 401 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499 Inaugural Open Mic 3 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060 Last Lap Sundays 5-8 pm; Castle Knights, 4910 Edgewater Drive; free

Poker Tournament 8 pm; Belle Isle Bayou, 5180 S. Conway Road, Belle Isle; free; 407-250-6763 Rainbow Happy Hour 6-8 pm; Little Fish Huge Pond, 401 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499 Secret Sundays 10 pm; RBarr Discotek and Cocktail Boutique, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; $5; 407-412-5039 The Stardust Underground 5 pm; The Stardust Lounge, 431 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-839-0080 Sunday Funday 4-9 pm; Sky Sixty, 60 N. Orange Ave.; call for price; 407-246-1599 Sunday Funday 11 am; Wildside Bar and Grill BBQ, 700 E. Washington St.; free; 407-872-8665 Sunday Fundays 1 pm; Blue Martini, 4200 Conroy Road; free; 407-447-2583 Sunday T-Dance 10:30 pm; The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571 Sundays at Stonewall noon; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888 Sundays with DJ Smilin’ Dan noon-5 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060 COnTInued On PaGe 167

THE COLONIALTOWN NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION IS HAVING A PIRATE-THEMED BLOCK PARTY

sunday, aug. 3

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ClUBS/loUnGeS

The Original Vintage Saturdays 9 pm; Vintage Lounge, 114 S. Orange Ave.; free-$10; 877-386-7346.

XO Saturdays with Phioana 9 pm; Vyce Lounge, 112 S. Orange Ave.; free$15; 407-649-0000

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Holly Hunt, Shitstorm, Dzoavits, American Party Machine, Consequence 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $8; 407-748-8256

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[DANCE] Corsets and Cuties see page 171

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Game Night 9 pm; Little Fish Huge Pond, 401 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499

Tuesday, aug. 5

ConCerTS/eVenTS

MOnday, aug. 4

ConCerTS/eVenTS BJ Barham, Kaleigh Baker 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10

Jesse McCartney: In Technicolor 6:30 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $25-$35; 407-934-2583

Mash Up Monday with DJ D Royale 10 pm; Vixen Bar, 118 S. Orange Ave.; free; 844-3867346

John Krasula Jazz Trio 7 pm; The Smiling Bison, 745 Bennett Road; free; 407-259-8036

Sock Hop Mondays 11 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; free; 407-999-2570

Kontrol: Blasterjaxx 10 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $15-$20; 407-246-1419

ClUBS/loUnGeS

White Trash Bingo with Doug Ba’aser 10 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888

Pressure Mixtape Listening Suite 7:30-10 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-490-5533

Curtis Earth Trivia 7 pm; Graffiti Junktion, 900 E. Washington St.; free; 407-426-9503

oPera/ClaSSICal

Steady Hands, WC Lindsay, Every You 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $5; 407-999-2570

Depth Charge One Year Celebration with Amit 9 pm Monday; Bullitt Bar, 33 E. Pine St.; free; 407-839-0999 Jazz Meets Motown 7:30-10:30 pm; Thai Thani Restaurant, 600 Market St., Celebration; free CORSETS AND CUTIES PHOTO BY KRISTEN WHEELER

Hospitality Night 11:30 am; Marlow’s Tavern, 9101 International Drive; free; 407-351-3627

Everyday Is Like Monday 7 pm; Sandwich Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; sign up via email at dankirk666@ gmail.com; 407-421-1670 Game Night 9 pm; The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571

Orlando Philharmonic Sounds of Summer Series: Seasons of the Soul Featuring Olga Ferroni on violin, Victor Ferroni on viola, Doug Mathews on bass, Sergei Kossenko on piano, Jonathan Stilwell on cello and Sandra del Cid-Davies on flute. 7 pm Monday; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $37; 407228-1220; plazaliveorlando.com

The Groove Orient Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540

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THE WEEK

local music

[EVENTS] Bike Rally see page 177

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 167

CLUBS/LOUNGES Blues Jam 8 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; free; 407-328-4848 Crafty Hour 4-9 pm; Ember Bar and Restaurant, 42 W. Central Blvd.; free; 407-849-5200 Dirty Bingo 9 pm; Stardust Lounge, 431 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-839-0080 Drunken Trivia 8 pm; Graffiti Junktion, 2401 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-377-1961 Escape Fetish and Costume Party 10 pm; RBarr Discotek and Cocktail Boutique, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; $8; 407-412-5039 Girls’ Night Out 7 pm-1 am; Wildside Bar and Grill BBQ, 700 E. Washington St.; free; 407-872-8665

Hambingo 6:30 pm; Hamburger Mary’s, 110 W. Church St.; free; 321-319-0600 Hip-Hop Tuesday 9 pm; The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571 Ivanhoe Trivia Knight 6-8:30 pm; The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-704-3200 168

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Ladies Night 9 pm; Bombshell’s Tavern, 5405 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-730-3999 Late Night Swim with VSN QST 9 pm; The Station, 12226 Corporate Blvd.; free-$5; 407-985-3980 Open Mic with Cheryl Anderson 8 pm; Keg ’n Cork, 1566 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park ; free; 407-467-1078 Shotspitality Tuesdays with DJ Freefall 10 pm; Vintage Lounge, 114 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-285-5826 Sound Culture with OAM 10 pm; Vixen Bar, 118 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1529 Takeovr 10 pm; Roxy Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; free-$15; 407-898-4004 Three Decades of Music with DJ Smilin’ Dan 9 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060 Top Shelf Tuesdays 5-9 pm; The Brink, 47 W. Amelia St.; $10; 407-388-4384 Total Request Tuesdays with DJ Deron Martin 7 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888 Tuesday Night Flights 5 pm; Rogue Pub, 3076 Curry Ford Road; free; 407-985-3778

Tuesday Trivia Night 9 pm; Yellow Dog Eats, 1236 Hempel Ave., Windermere; free; 407-296-0609 Twisted Tuesday 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-3888 Two for Tuesdays Orlando Brewing, 1301 Atlanta Ave.; free; 407-872-1117 Twosday Native Social Bar, 27 W. Church St.; free; 407-403-2938

THEATER Backwards in High Heels: The Ginger Rogers Musical A look at Ginger’s life that chronicles her journey from hometown to Hollywood. Friday-Tuesday; Winter Park Playhouse, 711-C Orange Ave., Winter Park; $38; 407-645-0145; winterparkplay house.org Company Stephen Sondheim’s musical comedy about a confirmed bachelor questioning his life choices. 8 pm Friday-Monday, 3 pm Sunday; Breakthrough Theatre of Winter Park, 419 A W. Fairbanks Ave.; $20; 407-920-4034; breakthroughtheatre.com Crazy for You Hit Gershwin musical. 7 pm Friday, 2 pm Saturday, 7 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday; Orlando Repertory Theatre, 1001 E. Princeton St.; $15; 407-8967365; orlandorep.com CONTINUED ON PAGE 171

THE BEST WAY TO SEE YOUR CITY IS BY FOOT OR BY BIKE

Grits ’n’ Gravy 10 pm; Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave.; free-$3; 407-839-0457

Korndogg’s Karaoke 10 pm; Shine, 25 Wall Street Plaza; 407-849-0471

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[MUSIC] Curren$y see page 162

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SHANTE SCOTT FRANKLIN OR CURREN$Y IS FROM NEW ORLEANS AND USED TO PERFORM WITH THE 504 BOYZ

Crimes of the Heart Pulitzer prize-winning classic by Beth Henley. 8 pm Friday-Saturday; Theatre Downtown, 2113 N. Orange Ave.; $22; 407-841-0083; theatredowntown.net

The Sweeney Family Band Sing along with Slim and his cousins Skeeter and Buck. 8 pm Saturday, 2 pmmidnight Sunday; Garden Theatre, 160 W. Plant St., Winter Garden; $15; 407-8774736; gardentheatre.org

COMEDY

Ladies of Eola Heights Three Southern ladies reunite in their family home to plan their father’s funeral. 8 pm Thursday, Saturday; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $30-$45; 407-7046261; abbeyorlando.com

The Drunken Monkey Stand-up Showcase Local comedians take the stage. 8:30-10:30 pm Friday; Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar, 444 N. Bumby Ave.; free; 407-893-4994; drunkenmonkeycoffee.com

Legally Blonde the Musical Musical comedy. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 2:30 pm Sunday; Athens Theatre, 124 N. Florida Ave., DeLand; $22; 386736-1500; athensdeland.com

Duel of Fools SAK All-Stars making it all up on the spot. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, 9:30 pm Friday, 9:30 pm Saturday, 7:30 pm Saturday; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $7-$15; 407-648-0001; sak.com

Playwright’s Round Table presents Summer Shorts 2014 Collection of seven short original plays; First Date, How I Met the Sopranos, Extra Cherries, Transferring Kyle, Denial Seat, The Roulette Club and Dream Lover. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday; Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 812 E. Rollins St.; $15; 407-7612683; orlandoatplay.com Spamalot All the exciting parts of Monty Python’s the Holy Grail. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday; The Princess Theater, 115 W. First St., Sanford; $18; 407-578-1463; princesstheatersanford.com

The Early Show SAK All-Stars taking comedy requests from the audience. 11:30 pm Saturday; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $7-$10; 407-648-0001; sak.com Gorilla Theatre Improv Comedy Four performers battle to direct the best improv scene based on audience input. 9:30 pm Friday; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $12-$15; 407-648-0001; sak.com The Lottery Show Students from upper-level improv classes get selected to perform. 9:30 pm Thursday; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $7-$15; 407-648-0001; sak.com

Shit Sandwich Standup Comedy Showcase Stand-up comedy show with local comedians. 8:30-10 pm Saturday; Bull and Bush, 2408 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-7546 Spacebar Comedy Showcase This is not an open mic. 10 pm Wednesday; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free with two drink minimum; 407-228-0804; facebook. com/spacebarcomedy

DANCE Corsets and Cuties Burlesque cabaret. 8 pm Friday-Saturday; The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; $12; thevenueorlando.com

FILM Boyhood Filmed over 12 years with the same cast. 2:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 6:15 pm Friday-Thursday, 9:55 pm Friday-Thursday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave.; $10; 407-629-0054; enzian.org Date Night at Leu Gardens: You Can’t Take It With You Outdoor movie in the beautiful Leu Gardens. 6 pm Friday; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; $6; 407-2462620; leugardens.org KidsFest: Honey I Shrunk the Kids Scientist-dad shrinks kids. 3 pm Wednesday, 11:30 pm Saturday, 1 pm Sunday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave.; $5; 407-629-1088; enzian.org COnTInued On PaGe 172

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ART oPenInGS/eVenTS

KidsFest: The Black Stallion A young boy and an Arabian stallion are stranded on a deserted island. 3 pm Wednesday, 11:30 pm Saturday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave.; $5; 407-629-1088; enzian.org Le Chef Two mismatched French foodies are forced to work together. 6:30 and 9:30 pm Wednesday and Thursday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave.; $10; 407-629-0054; enzian.org Sharknado 2: The Second One Watch Party Watch with other people in case you get scared. 9 pm Wednesday; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407423-3060; thefalconbar.com St. Matthew’s Cinematheque: Jonathan Hamilton Showcase Featuring five films by an Orlando filmmaker. 10 pm Wednesday; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; free; facebook. com/stmatthewstavern Wednesday Night Pitcher Show: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Free movie on the Enzian lawn. 8 pm Wednesday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave.; free; 407-629-0054; enzian.org WTF Theater presents Foreign Films Potluck and film screenings. 8 pm Tuesday; Little Fish Huge Pond, 401 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499; littlefish-hugepond.com 172

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Baldwin Park First Friday Festival and Art Stroll 5:30 pm Friday; Downtown Baldwin Park, 4915 New Broad St.; free; facebook.com/baldwinpark firstfriday festival Deadly Gardens Inspired by the dark side of nature and plants. 8 pm Saturday; Redlight Redlight, 2819 Corrine Drive; free; 407-893-9832; redlight redlightbeerparlour.com Differing Views: Art at the Center Opening Night Reception Monthly art mixer with featured artist Danny Rock. 6-8 pm Wednesday; The Center, 946 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-228-8272 Emily Jones 6-9:30 pm Saturday; Winter Park Beer Company, 1809 E. Winter Park Road; free; 407-234-7033 FAVO First Friday Art Show and Exhibition Art studios in a rehabbed hotel open their doors. 5-9 pm Friday; Faith Arts Village Orlando, 221 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-222-1231; facebook.com/ faithartsvillageorlando Flora Unveiling Doug Rhodehamel’s latest paintings. 7-9 pm Thursday; Mosaic Hair Studio and Blowout Bar, 541 Virginia Drive; free; 407-896-3241; dougrho dehamel.wordpress.com

Hot Plastic: The Art of Cake Marques and Mikey Bear McGrath Art that brings your childhood back featuring subjects like Fisher Price, roller skates and robots. 8 pm Tuesday; The Peacock Room, 1321 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-2280048; thepeacockroom.com Imaginarium Art Reception Local artists. 6 pm Saturday, 9 pm Sunday; Chapman Leonard Studios, 9460 Delegates Drive; free; 407-851-3456; chapman-leonard.com Snap! After Dark Salon setting with interactive fashion photoshoot, live music, drinks, art and more. 8-11 pm Friday; Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive; $25; snaporlando.com

eXHIBITS 2014 Rollins Faculty Exhibition Rollins College faculty show recent work. Wednesday-Sunday; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free (in 2014); 407646-2526; rollins.edu/cfam A Quill’s Song Work by Joe Gullo aka Quill song. Wednesday-Tuesday; NV Art Bar, 27 E. Pine St.; free; 407-649-0000; nvorlando.com Allure of Ancient Rome: Old Masters Prints and Drawings from the Permanent Collection This exhibition showcases a selection of prints, drawings and an illustrated book from COnTInued On PaGe 174

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the Cornell’s permanent collection dating between 1540 and 1750 which highlight the cultural and artistic significance of Roman antiquities in Europe since the Renaissance. 10 am-4 pm Tuesday-Friday, noon-5 pm Saturday-Sunday; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407646-2526; rollins.edu/cfam Art in Chambers: Sarah Ali Showcasing works by Sarah Ali. 8 am-5 pm Monday-Friday; Winter Park City Hall, 401 S. Park Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-5990-349; sarah-ali.com Battlefield Works by contemporary artists dealing with war. Complimented by the current exhibitions at the Waterhouse Residence Museum and the Maitland Historical Museum. WednesdayTuesday; Art & History Museums – Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; price of admission; 407-5392181; artandhistory.org

Puppets and the Art of Puppetry A hands-on exhibit of all things puppet. 10 am-4 pm Wednesday-Tuesday; Albin Polasek Museum and Sculpture Gardens, 633 Osceola Ave., Winter Park; $3-$5; 407647-6294; polasek.org Business as Community Life: Winter Park 2013 A collection of black-and-white photographs of well-known Winter Park landmarks. Noon-4 pm Wednesday-Thursday, 10 am-5 pm Friday-Saturday, noon-4 pm Tuesday; Hannibal Square Heritage Center, 642 W. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-539-2680; crealde.org Chris Robb: Abstractions Fresh, colorful abstract pieces by a homegrown Orlando artist. Wednesday-Friday; Anita S. Wooten Gallery, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2298 Collector’s Choice: Blatt Collection European drawings in a variety of media from the mid-19th to the

early 20th century. WednesdayTuesday; Museum of Art – DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org Crealdé Studio Artist Exhibition Featuring work from up-and-coming studio artists. 9 am-4 pm WednesdaySaturday; Crealdé School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-671-1886; crealde.org Diametrically Different Featuring work by Rachel Jones, Brendan O’Connor and Deliz Vanessa Berrios. Wednesday-Thursday; Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-362-1864; dandelioncommunitea.com Dreaming Ithaca Aquatint etchings and video installations of Cuban artist Sandra Ramos. WednesdayTuesday; Alt_Space Gallery, 123 Douglas St., New Smyrna Beach; free; 386-423-1753; aca35.org

[ART] Emily Jones see page 172

SUNFLOWERS BY EMILY JONES

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[MUSIC] Filter see page 164

Enchantment Mixed-media installation featuring a chapel adorned with folk iconography. 10:30 am-4:30 pm Tuesday-Saturday, noon4:30 pm Sunday; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; $5; 407-2464278; mennellomuseum.com

HOW DOES FILTER TAG THEIR INSTAGRAMS? #WITHFILTER? #ALWAYSFILTER?

Florida Painters Group Art Exhibit Works by multiple artists. Wednesday; Casselberry Art House, 127 Quail Pond Circle, Casselberry; free; 407262-7722; casselberry.org The Florida Prize in Contemporary Art Annual art award to outstanding contemporary Florida artists. Wednesday-Tuesday; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $5-$8; 407-896-4231; omart.org Forever Florida Featuring works of the co-op’s 22 members. Wednesday-Thursday; Artisans on Fifth, 134 E. Fifth Ave., Mount Dora; free; 352383-0880; artisansonfifth.com Ginormous Collection of work that is large in scale. Wednesday-Tuesday; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-6487060; cityartsfactory.com Karl Zerbe: Works on Paper Experimental collages and mixed media from his works in the ’40s and ’60s. WednesdayTuesday; Museum of Art – DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org

Mingled Visions: Images From “The North American Indian” by Edward S. Curtis A selection of work from the Edward S. Curtis “The North American Indian” collection from the Dubuque Museum of Art, Iowa. 10:30 am-4:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; $5; 407-2464278; mennellomuseum.com

of Art – DeLand Downtown Satellite, 100 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org

Mystique New work by husband and wife team Monstro and Moy. Wednesday-Tuesday; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-6487060; cityartsfactory.com

Twitter Art Exhibit: Orlando International artists connected through social media to support special needs programs at the Center for Contemporary Dance. Noon-8 pm Wednesday-Tuesday; The Center for Contemporary Dance, 3580 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-6958366; twitterartexhibit.org

Plinio Pinto’s Project Cosplay Debut of Pinto’s watercolor portrait series. WednesdayTuesday; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-4233060; thefalconbar.com Snap! Attacks! Featuring photography, painting, illustration, mixed media, sculpture and video installation. 11 am-4 pm Thursday-Saturday; Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive; $25; snaporlando.com Steinunn Thorarinsdottir: Horizons Featuring 12 lifesize cast iron figures by the Icelandic artist. WednesdayTuesday; Loch Haven Park, 900 E. Princeton St.; free; 407-246-2283; omart.org Stephen Althouse: Personal Symbols, Private Totems Artist-photographer focuses on antique tools and objects. Wednesday-Tuesday; Museum

Steve Tobins: Roots Oversized steel sculptures, glassworks and bronzes. Wednesday-Tuesday; Museum of Art – DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org

Untold Stories Work by John Lichtenstein, Bradley Kokay, Brendan O’Connor, Anastasia Stefanos, Jose Manuel Pamplona and Jim Jipson. Thursday-Saturday; The Gallery at Avalon Island, 39 S. Magnolia Ave.; free; galleryatavalonisland.com

EVENTS 1 Million Cups Weekly experiential learning for startups over delicious coffee. 9-10 am Wednesday; Bush Auditorium, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 321-2363316; 1millioncups.org

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[MUSIC] Henrietta see page 161

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Broadway Brunch Show tunes, drink specials and a show starring the Minx and Ginger Minj. 11 am Sunday; Hamburger Mary’s, 110 W. Church St.; various menu prices; 321-319-0600; hamburgermarys-orlando.com Camp Drag with Gidget Galore Join a DIY drag race and win raffle prizes, with music by DJ Brianna. 10 pm Wednesday; The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571; parliamenthouse.com CONjure Florida Family-friendly fan convention featuring guests like Mark Sheppard, Joel Hodgson, Roy Wooley, Kelly Hu, Nicholas Brendon, Chad Rook and Sandeep Parikh. FridaySunday; DoubleTree Hotel, 5780 Major Blvd.; $12-$40; 407321-1000; conjureflorida.com

Food Truckin’ Thursdays Local food trucks rotate breakfast, lunch and evening shifts in the Mills 50 District. 7 am-7 pm Thursday; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; various menu prices; 407-442-3099; facebook. com/foodtruckinthursdays

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Orlando Masquerade Benefit for the Back to School Drive. 9 pm Friday; Church Street Station, Church Street and Garland Ave.; free-$15; orlandomasquerade.com Summer Bash Summer beers on tap and in bottles, giveaways and more. 4-7 pm Saturday; Cavallari Gourmet, 1954 W. State Road 426, Oviedo; free; 407-365-8000; cavallarigourmet.com Tasty Tuesdays A rotating lineup of local food trucks. 6:30-10 pm Tuesday; The Milk District, East Robinson Street and North Bumby Ave.; various menu prices; facebook. com/tastytuesdaysorlando Wine Pairing Dinner Fourcourse dinner paired with Merryvale Starmont Wines. 6:30 pm Friday; Fiorenzo Italian Steakhouse, 9801 International Drive; $80; 407-345-4570 Yoga in Lake Eola Park Free yoga for all levels under the big tree . 11 am Sunday; Lake Eola Park, North Eola Drive and East Robinson Street; free; 321-443-3314

LEARNING Crealdé Workshops: Clay Castle Keeps Doug Bringle, studio 7. Adult/child workshop for ages 5+, single adults welcome. 1-4 pm Sunday; Crealdé School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; $120; 407-671-1886; crealde.org Crealdé Workshops: Date Night Ceramics Monthly workshop with instructor Vadim Malkin. Studio 4. Register one week before. 7-9 pm Friday; Crealdé School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; $90 per couple; 407-671-1886; crealde.org Femfessionals Orlando August Event: DIY Online Video Workshop Learn about online videos and how they can be used in business. 10-11:30 am Friday; Qarma Crepes Loft, 12 N. Summerlin Ave.; $20; femfessionals.com Florida Small Farms and Alternative Enterprises Conference For those who are interested in starting a small farm or want to know about the latest developments. FridaySaturday; Osceola Heritage Park, 1875 Silver Spur Lane, Kissimmee; contact for price; 321-697-3333; ohpark.com From Hops to Homebrew Learn to make your own beer. 11 am-1:30 pm Saturday; East End Market, 3201 Corrine Drive; $30-$130; 321-2363316; eastendmkt.com

HENRIETTA PHOTO BY SHAUNA HUNDEBY

Cupcake Happy Hour Happy Hour cupcake prices, y’all. 5-7 pm Friday; Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive; $2 cupcakes; 407-228-3822; bluebirdbakeshop.com

LeakyCon Sci-fi and fantasy film, television and book convention with special guests like John Green, Hugh Mitchell, Alaina Huffman and Nina Toussaint-White. Wednesday-Sunday; Orange County Convention Center, 9800 International Drive; contact for price; 407-6859800; leakycon.com

THe week

[MUSIC] MKTO see page 158

Fundraising Strategies for Artists Students will learn fundraising strategies to support new projects. 2-4 pm Sunday; Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive; $50; eventbrite.com

Tips and Tricks of Video for Business Hosted by Femfessionals Orlando. 10-11:30 am Friday; Qarma Crepes Loft, 12 N. Summerlin Ave.; free; 407758-5324; femfessionals.com

Grantsmanship Training Program Comprehensive, hands-on workshop that covers the complete grant development process. MondayTuesday; Valencia College West Campus, 1800 S. Kirkman Road; $895; 800-421-9512; tgci.com

To Your Health Tuesdays Community-based women’s health education program and discussion. 6:30 pm Tuesday; Florida School of Holistic Living, 1109 E. Concord St.; free; 407-5953731; holisticlivingschool.org

So You Want to Write the Perfect First Chapter? with Pam Harris and Marquita Hockaday Interactive six-week course for teens. WednesdayTuesday; Writer’s Atelier, 336 Grove Ave., Winter Park; $150; writersatelier.com

CIVICS

The Pastrami Project Local food truck owner George Markward of the Pastrami Project food truck will share his chef brain with attendees. 4 pm Sunday-Monday; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7481; ocls.info

College Park Farmers Market Local vendors sell produce, food, flowers, clothing and more. 11 am-3 pm Sunday; College Park, Edgewater Drive; free; facebook.com/ collegeparkfarmersmarket Colonialtown Block Party Pirate-themed block party with pool-side fun, food, yard games, live music, dunk tank, bounce house and more. 6-9 pm Tuesday; Colonialtown Neighborhood Center, 1517 Lake Highland Drive; free; bewareofjack.com

Bike Rally Celebrate diversity with Downtown Credo and the Parramore Kids Zone on a bike ride across the city. 10 am Sunday; Downtown Credo Cafe, 706 W. Smith St.; free; 407-371-2925

Mills 50 Community Market Produce, products and more in a pop-up market every Tuesday evening next to Will’s Pub. 4-9 pm Tuesday; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; free; mills50market.com

Casselberry Farmers Market and Green Bazaar 9 am-1:30 pm Saturday; Casselberry City Hall, 95 N. Triplet Lake Drive, Casselberry; free; 407262-7720; facebook.com/ casselberryfarmersmarket

Walk to End Alzheimer’s Kickoff Party Refreshments and dessert served. 6-7:30 pm Tuesday; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; free, RSVP required; 407-272-3900; alz.org/cnfl

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[MUSIC] Lifestyles: Elements of Hip Hop see page 158

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LITERARY Book Club: Meditation Workshop Join Lorena Streeter, author of Scheduling Enlightenment: Bringing Spiritual Practice into Everyday Living, for guided meditation, calming tea ceremony, and discussion of how to use basic meditation techniques to ease our path and to guide our every day. 7 pm Wednesday; East End Market, 3201 Corrine Drive; $25; 321-236-3316; eastendmkt.com LeakyCon: Harry Potter and the Art of Spying Find out what Hogwarts has in common with the CIA. Wednesday-Saturday; Orange County Convention Center, 9800 International Drive; 407-685-9800

Think Ivanhoe: The Citizen’s Guide to Planning This month’s book selection for Think Ivanhoe is The Citizen’s Guide to Planning. 8:30 pm Thursday; Caffe Divina, 1811 N. Orange Ave.; free; goodreads.com/group/ show/96020-think-ivanhoe

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Baby Boogie Bash: Super Hero Birthday Party Dance party for children up to 7 years of age featuring disco lights. 6-8:30 pm Tuesday; Amaya Papaya, 3385 S. U.S. Highway 17-92, Casselberry; contact for price; 407-3397529; amayapapaya.com CFAMilies Workshops inspired by current exhibitions. 2-3:30 pm Sunday; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407646-2526; rollins.edu/cfam Curious George: Let’s Get Curious! A fun, hands-on math, science and engineeringbased adventure. WednesdayTuesday; Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St.; $19; 407-514-2000; osc.org Sportsology Explore different kinds of athletic abilities including strength, speed, endurance, balance, coordination and agility. Wednesday-Tuesday; Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St.; $19; 407-514-2000; osc.org Summer Nights: Shamu Celebration New, original music and production elements, as well as new killer whale behaviors. Wednesday-Tuesday; SeaWorld, 7007 SeaWorld Drive; price of admission; 407-363-2613; seaworld.com

Sunshine Warriors: Yoga for Kids Outdoor improvised kids yoga. 8:45 am Saturday; Al Coith Park, 901 Delaney Ave.; contact for price; 407246-2283; facebook.com/ sunshinewarriorsyoga The Daily City Food Truck Bazaar: Kissimmee 6-9 pm Friday; Kissimmee Civic Center, 201 E. Dakin Ave., Kissimmee; various menu prices; thedailycity.com The Daily City Food Truck Bazaar: Sanford 5 pm Saturday; downtown Sanford, East First Street and South Park Avenue, Sanford; various menu prices; thedailycity.com

SPORTS Alley Cat Race Point-to-point bicycle race. 1 pm Saturday; Retro City Cycles, 1806 N. Orange Ave.; $5; 407-895-2700 Bike Polo Night 6 pm Thursday, 5 pm Sunday; Langford Park, 1808 E. Central Blvd.; free; orlandobikepolo.com I Believe in Wrestling Six matches by Team Vision Dojo. 6 pm Sunday; Team Vision Dojo, 6923 Narcoossee Road; $6-$10; 407-334-2200; ibelieveinwrestling.com Orlando City vs. Charlotte Eagles 7:30 pm Saturday; ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex, Walt Disney World Resort; $45; orlandocitysoccer.com n

RAPHAEL TOBAR BY CHRIS TOBAR RODRIGUEZ

Prose and Poetry Writing with Elaine Person Workshop led by author and editor Elaine Person. Contact Elaine at personalwrite@gmail.com for details. 7 pm Wednesday; Winter Park Public Library,460 E. New England Ave.; contact for price; 407-623-3300; wppl.org

FAMILY

bY R o b b R eZS N Y thwarted you.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) If a farmer plants the same crop in the same field year after year, the earth’s nutrients get exhausted. For instance, lettuce sucks up a lot of nitrogen. It’s better to plant beans or peas in that location the next season, since they add nitrogen back into the soil. Meanwhile, lettuce will do well in the field where the beans or peas grew last time. This strategy is called crop rotation. I nominate it as your operative metaphor for the next 10 months. Your creative output will be abundant if you keep sowing each new “crop” in a fertile situation where it is most likely to thrive. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Maybe your grandparents are dead, or maybe they’re still alive. Whatever the case may be, do you have a meaningful or interesting connection with them? Is there anything about their souls or destinies that inspires you as you face your own challenges? Or is your link with them based more on sentimentality and nostalgia? In the near future, I urge you to dig deeper in search of the power they might have to offer you. Proceed on the hypothesis that you have not yet deciphered some of the useful messages you can derive from how they lived their lives. Explore the possibility that their mysteries are relevant to yours. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) The prolific American author James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851) wrote 32 novels. In those pages, he crammed in almost 1,100 quotations from Shakespeare. What motivated such extreme homage? I suspect he regarded Shakespeare as a mentor and wanted to blend the Bard’s intelligence with his own. I invite you to do something similar. What heroes have moved you the most? What teachers have stirred you the deepest? It’s a perfect time to pay tribute in a way that feels self-empowering. I suspect you will benefit from revivifying their influence on you. CANCER (June 21-July 22) Was there an actual poet named Homer who wrote the ancient Greek epics the Iliad and the Odyssey? Or was “Homer” a fictitious name given to several authors who created those two master works? Whatever the case may be, we know that Homer plagiarized himself. The opening line of Book XI in the Iliad is identical to the opening line of Book V in the Odyssey: “Now Dawn arose from her couch beside the lordly Tithonos, to bear light to the immortals and to mortal men.” So should we be critical of Homer? Nah. Nor will I hold it against you if, in the coming days, you imitate some fine action or brilliant move you did in the past. It was great the first time. I’m sure it will be nearly as great this time, but in a different way. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) The Earth has been around for almost 4.6 billion years. But according to scientists who study the fossil records, fire didn’t make its first appearance on our planet until 470 million years ago. Only then were there enough land-based plants and oxygen to allow the possibility of fires arising naturally. Do the math and you will see that for 90 percent of the Earth’s history, fire was absent. In evolutionary terms, it’s a newcomer. As I study your astrological omens for the next 10 months, I foresee the arrival of an almost equally monumental addition to your life, Leo. You can’t imagine what it is yet, but by this time next year, you won’t fathom how you could have lived without it for so long. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In the nights to come, I expect you will dream of creatures like fiery monsters, robot warriors, extraterrestrial ghosts and zombie vampires. But here’s the weird twist: They will be your helpers and friends. They will protect you and fight on your behalf as you defeat your real enemies, who are smiling pretenders wearing white hats. Dreams like this will prepare you well for events in your waking life, where you will get the chance to gain an advantage over fake nice guys who have hurt you or

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) It’s fine if you want to turn the volume all the way up on your charisma and socialize like a party animal. I won’t protest if you gleefully blend business and pleasure as you nurture your web of human connections. But I hope you will also find time to commune with the earth and sky and rivers and winds. Why? You are scheduled to take a big, fun spiritual test in the not-too-distant future. An excellent way to prepare for this rite of passage will be to deepen your relationship with Mother Nature. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You are hereby excused from doing household chores and busywork. Feel free to cancel boring appointments. Avoid tasks that are not sufficiently epic, majestic and fantastic to engage your heroic imagination. As I see it, this is your time to think really big. You have cosmic authorization to give your full intensity to exploring the amazing maze where the treasure is hidden. I urge you to pay attention to your dreams for clues. I encourage you to ignore all fears except the one that evokes your most brilliant courage. Abandon all trivial worries, you curious warrior, as you go in quest of your equivalent of the Holy Grail. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Broadway is one of New York City’s main streets. It runs the length of the island of Manhattan. But hundreds of years ago it was known by the indigenous Lenape people as the Wickquasgeck Trail. It was a passageway that cut through stands of chestnut, poplar and pine trees. Strawberries grew wild in fields along the route. Is there a metaphorical equivalent in your own life? I think there is: a modest, natural path that you will ultimately build into a major thoroughfare buzzing with activity. Part of you will feel sad at the loss of innocence that results. But mostly you’ll be proud of the visionary strength you will have summoned to create such an important conduit. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) The heavenly body known as 1986 DA is a near-Earth asteroid that’s 1.4 miles in diameter. It’s packed with 10,000 tons of gold and 100,000 tons of platinum, meaning it’s worth more than five trillion dollars. Can we humans get to it and mine its riches? Not yet. That project is beyond our current technology. But one day, I’m sure we will find a way. I’m thinking there’s a smaller-scale version of this scenario in your life, Capricorn. You know about or will soon find out about a source of wealth that’s beyond your grasp. But I’m betting that in the next 10 months you will figure out a way to tap into it and begin the process.

lulu e ig ht b a l l

bY eMilY ilY F il FlaKe laKe

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “I just sort of drifted into it.” According to author Gore Vidal, “That’s almost always the explanation for everything.” But I hope this won’t be true for you anytime soon. You can’t afford to be unconscious or lazy or careless about what you’re getting yourself into. You must formulate a clear, strong intention and stick to it. I don’t mean that you should be overly cautious or ultra-skeptical. To make the correct decisions, all you have to do is be wide awake and stay in intimate touch with what’s best for you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Members of the industrial band Skinny Puppy are upset with the U.S. military. They discovered that an interrogation team at America’s Guantanamo Bay detention camp tortured prisoners by playing their music at deafening volumes for extended periods. That’s why they sent an invoice to the Defense Department for $666,000 and are threatening to sue. Now would be a good time for you to take comparable action, Pisces. Are others distorting your creations or misrepresenting your meaning? Could your reputation benefit from repair? Is there anything you can do to correct people’s misunderstandings about who you are and what you stand for?

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B Y D A N S AVA G E I am wondering when the best time is to mention being in an open relationship to new girls. I’m a 27-year-old straight guy who’s been in an open relationship for six years. I often seek out extracurricular activities, but I am unsure of how to bring up my situation without doors closing. I wrote to a seduction blogger who often writes about open relationships, and his advice was to not mention it until I’ve had sex with the girl a few times and to not bring them to my apartment that I share with my girlfriend. This feels contrary to my nature, which is very straightforward, but is it perhaps the better method? What are your thoughts on the matter? Straightforward Honesty Offends Potentials

If your goal is to maximize the amount of pussy in your life without any regard for the feelings of the women who happen to be attached to those pussies, then you should definitely take the advice of the PUA (“pickup artist”) blogger. But that’s only if you wanna be a huge asshole who gets tons of pussy. If you wanna be a decent dude who gets more than enough pussy – and “enough is as good as a feast,” as Mary Poppins says – then you’ll listen to me. Tell “potentials” after the third hang/date/whatever. Let them get to know you a bit, then spill – before fucking but after they’ve made a small emotional investment in you. They’ll be more likely to reconsider prejudices they may have against guys in open relationships after they’ve gotten to know a semi-straightforward one and perhaps be less quick to slam the door. I’m a 30-year-old straight woman, and I’ve been with my male partner for four years. Here’s the thing that’s been bugging me: After four years, the sex has gotten predictable. But it’s also gotten better in the sense that I orgasm a much greater percentage of the time, now that he knows my body and what I like. More orgasms for me are great, but in the service of that, we’ve fallen into a “tried-and-true” rut, which I don’t think is good. I try to switch it up sometimes, and I surprised him with some sexy lingerie last night … and I got selfconscious, started to worry about whether I’d get off and then didn’t come. I know he really likes it when I get off, but I don’t want for us to have such a limited repertoire. My feeling is that I should not worry about my orgasms and focus on spice and variety, but I think that if we go too many times without me coming, it might be a downer for his boner, too. So which do we give preference to: variety or orgasms? Rutting Or Undertaking Totally Interesting New Experiences?

Your “tried-and-true” repertoire may feel like a bit of a rut, ROUTINE, but it’s a successful rut. You both enjoy the sex you’re having, and you come way more often than you used to. There are worse problems – and all you need to solve your repertoire problem is perspective and patience. You have two competing and conflicting interests: You want to come regularly (because of course you do) and you get off consistently when you stick to your routine, but you also want to shake up your routine and try new things. But

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trying new things makes it difficult for you to come. My advice would be to relax and give yourself permission to not come when you’re trying something new. To stave off frustration and/or self-consciousness, constantly remind yourself that new things you both enjoy will be incorporated into your routine. And when things that work for you both join the ranks of the tried-and-true, you’ll be able to come while you’re doing them. This is a problem that solves itself. My best friend has a girlfriend of two years. They break up a lot, and he has slept with plenty of other girls over the last two years. I’ve had a crush on him for about three years, but I never made any advances. We did have a threesome with a girl in March – he was broken up with his girlfriend at the time – but it was all about the girl and nothing happened between us guys. He got back with his girlfriend after that. Then last month, he and I had sex with each other. We had been drinking, he initiated it and neither of us came. It was awkward, and we didn’t talk for a week. Then we bumped into each other, and he came home with me and we had sex again. I came this time, but he drank too much and couldn’t. Then three weeks ago, I initiated it and we did it again. This time he came. The next day, he said that the “gay sex stuff” had to stop. He said he felt like he was cheating on his girlfriend. I agreed. But later that same night, he started getting flirty with me and seemed to be on the verge of initiating again. The issue is, I still want to sleep with him. Do you think that he may have freaked out about liking it too much? Could he be developing feelings? I rarely see him now, due to him hanging with his girlfriend all the time. I can tell that he has had sex with a guy before – it slid in pretty easy and he kept saying how good it felt. I’m so confused! Boys Easing Sex Tension Secretly

Maybe it would help if you told your friend that you’re not having gay sex – you’re having hot, sweaty bi sex, just without an accommodating girl present. As for what to do … You might wanna look around for some other guy who you can have a crush on and slide into. But I’m not going to push you to do that, because it’s clear that you’ve got feelings for this guy and at the very least he’s got Feelings While Drunk for you. And while I should probably scold you both for fucking around behind his girlfriend’s back, BESTS, I have a hunch that you’re a bunch of teenagers and/or very young adults. So you’re getting a pass because this kind of bullshit is often a necessary and clarifying rite of passage for kids who are still figuring out who they are, what they want and who they can and cannot trust. But I predict that this will end badly for all involved, and you will one day look back on the bi three-ways, the gay two-ways and the way you once believed that “breaking up a lot” was evidence of a passion that could not be denied and be deeply, deeply embarrassed. But in the meantime, enjoy sliding in. On the Savage Lovecast, hear Dan and YouTube sensation Arielle Scarcella go full lesbian: savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net

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Legal/Public Notices Public Notice Self Storage Zone /Powers Drive, 2650 N Powers Dr, Orlando, FL 32818 here by gives PUBLIC notice of the disposal for the default of lease agreement, pursuant to Florida statutes Section 83.801-83.809 on the following individuals: All items are House Hold Goods unless otherwise stated. Unit 472 Howard King Household goods/ Go Karts Unit 447 Kyla/Kila/Kayla Wilson Unit 634 Jeanty Fils Unit 201 Bianca Haynes Unit 501 Herbert Collins Unit 766 Trenessa L Williams Unit 163 Sasha Coicou Unit 41 Ernst Louis Unit 233 Marilyn Y Richardson Unit 410 Brian Coombs Unit 429 Moab Smith Unit 435 Neshay Singleton Unit 442 Chris Barbosa Unit 474 Frantz St Louis Unit 480 Lefty O Williams Unit 516 Kathiana Mervil Unit 514 Kathiana Mervil Unit 606 Wilder Felix Unit 621 Marjorie Lochard Unit 652 Naikey Bernadin Unit 718 Gerda Jolidier Unit 724 Zakiyyah Magee Unit 752 Ronshell Spencer Unit 763 Denecia N Brown/ Denecia Nikole Brown Unit 770 Simona Dillard Unit 806 Joshua Alexander Unit 815 Cheryl Mcphaul Unit 849 Dianne Nunez The contents of these units shall be disbursed on or there after August 19, 2014 at 1:30 PM at a public auction located : Self Storage Zone / Powers Drive, 407-293-6005. 2650 N. Powers Drive, Orlando FL 32818.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION:07/Latimore/PineHills CASE NUMBER: DP 13-107 IN THE INTEREST OF: M.A.DOB: 05/28/1997, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA To:Lumane Jean, Address Unknown WHEREAS, a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child; you are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Alicia Latimore, on September 2, 2014 at 9:30 a.m. at the Orange County Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 E. Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY/ADJUDICATORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD (OR CHILDREN) NAMED IN THE PETITION. Pleadings shall be copied to Yolana Bruce, Attorney for the State of Florida, 609 North Powers Drive, Suite 324B, Orlando, Florida 32818. WITNESS my hand at the Clerk of said Court and the Seal, this 10th day of July, 2014. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT (Court Seal) By: (signed) Deputy Clerk

NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned, David Scott Martin, of 350 Cello Cir, Winter Springs, FL 32708, County of Seminole, pursuant to the requirements of the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations, is hereby advertising the following fictitious name: Flashin Fashin Jewelry It is the intent of the undersigned to register “Flashin Fashin Jewelry” with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. Dated: 21 of July, 2014

NOTICE OF SALE Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale. 2000 Toyota vin# 1nxbr12e3yz313587 2005 Chrylser VIN# 1C3EL46X45N556562 To be sold at auction at 8:00 a.m. On August 13, 2014, at 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale. Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION:07/Latimore/PineHills CASE NUMBER: DP 13-316 IN THE INTEREST OF: E.O.M DOB: 01/02/1998, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA To: Jackie Marie Kennedy, Address Unknown WHEREAS, a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child; you are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Alicia Latimore, on August 25 2014 at 9:30 a.m. at the Orange County Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 E. Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY/ADJUDICATORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD (OR CHILDREN) NAMED IN THE PETITION. Pleadings shall be copied to Kim Crag-Chaderton, Attorney for the State of Florida, 609 North Powers Drive, Suite 324B, Orlando, Florida 32818. WITNESS my hand at the Clerk of said Court and the Seal, this 10th day of July, 2014. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT (Court Seal) By: (signed) Deputy Clerk

Notice of Public Sale: Pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on August 15, 2014 at 9:00 am, Rikers Roadside Services, 1425 W Taft Vineland Rd, Orlando, FL, will sell the following vehicles and/or vessels. Seller reserves the right to bid. Sold as is, no warranty. Seller guarantees no title, terms cash. Seller reserves the right to refuse any or all bids ; 1997 GMC, Vin#1GDFG15M6V1043651; 1995 Mitsubishi, Vin#4A3AK44Y7SE108964; 1999 Land Rover, Vin#SALTY1243XA231631; 1985 Chevrolet, Vin#1G1BN69H1FX139519; 1998 Honda, Vin#1HGCG5650WA172705; 2002 Dodge, Vin#1B3ES26C62D532976; 1992 Jaguar, Vin#SAJHY1743NC656632; 2001 Volvo, Vin#YV1VW29561F607530; 1990 Honda, Vin#1HGCB7167LA065530;

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE LINKS AUTOMOTIVE INC. gives the Notice of Foreclosure Lein and intent to sell these vehicles on 8/11/14, 12:00 noon at 6366 All American Blvd. Orlando, FL 328104304, pursuant to subsection 713.78 of the Florida Statutes. LINKS AUTOMOTIVE INC. reserves the right to accept or reject any and/or all bids. Silent auction, sealed bid only. 2011 ZHNG L5YTCKPAXB1128945 2000 Ford 1FMYU60X7YUA86723 2002 Kawasaki JKAZX4J132A048908 1997 Buick 2G4WY52M6V1413435 2004 Nissan 1N4BA41E24C887571

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION: 07 CASE NO.: DP13-303 IN THE INTEREST OF: R.V., DOB: 07/01/2013, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: CHAD WITT, Address Unknown WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced children, a copy of which is attached, you are hereby commanded to appear before the Honorable Judge Alicia L. Latimore on Tuesday, September 23, 2014 at 9:30 a.m., at Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILDREN. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 21st day of July, 2014. This summons has been issued at the request of: Jennifer Shepard, Esquire, FBN: 93027, Attorney for the State of Florida, Children’s Legal Services, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, Florida 32801, (407) 317-7643-Telephone, (407) 317-7126-Fax, Jennifer_n_shepard@ dcf.state.fl.us CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT, By: (signed) Deputy Clerk, (Court Seal) If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, at 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone (407) 836-2303, not later than (7) days prior to the proceeding. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771.

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IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA CIVIL DIVISION CASE NO. 2010-CA-014064-A001OX ROSEVILLE PROPERTIES, LLC, VS. JOSIUS JOSEPH, ET AL, NOTICE OF SALE. Notice is hereby given that pursuant to the Final Judgment of Foreclosure entered in this cause on April 30th, 2014 in the Circuit Court for Orange County, Florida, the property situated in Orange County, Florida, described as follows: LOT 330, SILVER RIDE PHASE II, ACCORDING TO THE PLAT THEREOF, RECORDED IN PLAT BOOK 15, PAGE (S) 72-74, OF THE PUBLIC RECORDS OF ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA. Property Address: 2844 SALTER COURT, ORLANDO, FLORIDA 32818, will be sold to the highest and best bidder, for cash, at 11:00 a.m. (Eastern Time) on August 26, 2014 online at: https://www.myorangeclerk.realforeclose. com Any person claiming an interest in the surplus from the sale, if any, other than the property owner as of the date of the lis pendens must file a claim within 60 days after the sale. PETER P. HAGOOD, HAGOOD & GARVEY, Counsel for Plaintiff, 1001 N. Lake Destiny Road, Suite 250, Maitland, Florida 32751 Tel. (321) 285-1900 Fax. (321) 285-1888 By: /s/ Peter P. Hagood, Esquire Florida Bar No. 0073784.

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SEE ALL THE PAID RESEARCH STUDIES THAT ARE RECRUITING SEE ALL THE PAID RESEARCH STUDIES THAT ARE RECRUITING

SEE ALL THE PAID RESEARCH STUDIES THAT ARE RECRUITING 182

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Africa, Brazil Work/Study! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.OneWorldCenter.org (269) 591-0518 info@OneWorldCenter.org (AAN CAN)

PHARMACY SERVICES MANAGER (Orlando, FL): Assess, manage, rep. pharmacy operational/financial data to mgmt. Req: Master’s deg. (or foreign equiv. deg.) in Pharm, Pharm. Mfg, Bus. Admin. Health Care Mgmt. or rel + knowledge of below skills. In lieu of Master’s deg will accept Bachelor’s deg. (or foreign equiv. deg.) in Pharm, Pharm. Mfg, Bus. Admin. Health Care Mgmt. or rel. + 5 yrs of prog. exp. in pharm. ind., as well as knowledge of reg. comp., inv. control mgmt., marketing strategies, cost analysis, fin. forecasting, pharm. bus. rep. Send resume to Angels Pharmacy I, Inc., 259 E. Michigan St., Orlando, FL 32806. SESCO Lighting, Inc. is recruiting for the position of GP Systems Administrator (Job Code 507501) in Winter Park, FL to develop & modify new & existing custom reports using SQL/SSRS and analyze business process flows between departments in order to maximize Dynamics GP systems. Applicants should mail resume referencing Job Code 507501 to: Kim Daniels, SESCO Lighting, Inc., 1133 West Morse Blvd, Winter Park, FL 32789. EOE.

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN)

Accountant with Compass Research Job ID: 6020172

Administrative Assistant to the Director of Development and Marketing with Cru Job ID: 6020167 Banquet Set-Up with Caribe Royale Orlando Job ID: 6021414 Cardiac Medical RN with Central Florida Health Alliance Job ID: 6021470

Food and Beverage Bussers with Embassy Suites Orlando - Lake Buena Vista South Job ID: 6020883 GROUP SALES ASSISTANT MANAGER with Crayola, LLC. Job ID: 6020653 Housekeeping Runner with Caribe Royale Orlando Job ID: 6021015

CE - SR. GROUP SALES ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE with Crayola, LLC. Job ID: 6020651

HVAC Sales Tech with Cooling Tampa, LLC Job ID: 6020795

CE GROUP SALES ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE with Crayola, LLC. Job ID: 6020650

HVAC Telemarketer with Cooling Tampa, LLC Job ID: 6020794

CNA with Central Florida Health Alliance Job ID: 6021473

Lawn Service Technician (Tampa) with Crenshaw Termite & Pest Control Job ID: 6020894

Collector I with CFE Federal Credit Union Job ID: 6020793

Loss Prevention Officer-Embassy Suites with Embassy Suites Orlando Lake Buena Vista South Job ID: 6020670

Consumer Loan Processor with CFE Federal Credit Union Job ID: 6021409 Electrician I/II with City of Orlando Job ID: 6021231 Experienced Mechanic with Equibore of America Job ID: 6020656

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Maintenance Worker - SEASONAL with City of Orlando Job ID: 6021232 MARKETING AND SALES MANAGER with Crayola, LLC. Job ID: 6020654 Night Auditor with Drury Inn & Suites Job ID: 6011606

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ABORTION BY PILL: 3-24 WKS www.WOMENSCENTER.com 407-245-7999 or 407-898-2046

JAN. 23-29, 2013 orlandoweekly.com