Orlando Weekly December 28, 2018

FREE | DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

GET OUT THERE AND SHOW 2017 WHO’S BOSS, PAGE 39

OR STAY IN AND THROW 2016 ON A BONFIRE, PAGE 21

2

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

3

FREE | DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

Publisher Graham Jarrett Editor Jessica Bryce Young Editorial Staff Writer Monivette Cordeiro Calendar Editor Thaddeus McCollum Music Editor Matthew Moyer Digital Content Editor Colin Wolf Contributors Rob Bartlett, Jen Cray, Hannah Glogower, Scott Horn, Liv Jonse, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Marissa Mahoney, Cameron Meier, Richard Reep, Sierra Reese, Joey Roulette, Steve Schneider, Abby Stassen, Ken Storey Advertising Major Accounts Specialist Leslie Egan Senior Multimedia Account Executive Dan Winkler Multimedia Account Executives Shannon Maggio, Scott Navarro, Scott Spar Classified and Legal Rep Jerrica Schwartz Marketing and Events Events Director Zackary Rowe Events and Promotions Manager Brad Van De Bogert Marketing and Events Coordinator Rachel Hoyle Marketing & Events Interns Stephanie Viera

39

Cover art by Chris Tobar Rodriguez

Creative Services Creative Services Manager Shelby Sloan Editorial Designer Chris Tobar Rodriguez Graphic Designer Melissa McHenry Graphic Designer Ian Jones Business Operations Manager Hollie Mahadeo Business Assistant Allysha Willison Circulation Circulation Manager Collin Modeste Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com Orlando Weekly Inc. 16 W. Pine St. Orlando, Florida 32801 orlandoweekly.com

7

23

44

NEWS + FEATURES

FOOD + DRINK

CALENDAR

7 Pulse: In Memoriam

21 Food on fire

39 New Year’s Eve Parties

36 Selections

How to host a New Year’s Eve bonfire with minimal work and maximum flash

A profile of Pulse Nightclub shooting victim Deonka Deidra Drayton

7 ICYMI News you need to know but may have missed in the past week

7 This Modern World

44 The Week

23 Bar Exam

45 Down the Road

It’s hard to think of reasons not to drink at DeLand’s Persimmon Hollow Brewing Co.

Back Pages

25 Recently Reviewed

57 Gimme Shelter

Short takes on restaurants we’ve visited recently

8 Informed Dissent

57 Savage Love 59 Classifieds

Three resolutions for 2017, or how to live in Trump’s America

Phone 407-377-0400 Fax 407-377-0420 Orlando Weekly is published every week by Euclid Media Group Orlando Distribution Orlando Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.

Copyright notice: The entire contents of Orlando Weekly are copyright 2016-2017 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above.

Subscriptions: Additional copies or back issues may be purchased at the Orlando Weekly offices for $1. Six-month domestic subscriptions may be purchased for $75; one-year subscriptions for $125.

Periodical Postage Pending at Orlando, FL POSTMASTER: Send address changes to ORLANDO WEEKLY 16 W. Pine St. Orlando, FL 32801.

11

ARTS + CULTURE 11 Let’s get small

31

MUSIC 31 Don’t shoot the messenger Punk firebrand Jello Biafra just saw everything he’s been warning us about for decades come true in November

The tiny house movement embraces some big ideas

31 Picks This Week

19 Live Active Cultures

Great live music rattles Orlando every night

It’s time to get excited about new arts and

35 This Little Underground

attractions in the New Year

Debuts of Counterweight and Florida Is Loud Fest prove good harbingers for 2017

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

5

6

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

IN MEMORIAM: THE ORLANDO 49 Every week between now and the one-year anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shootings, Orlando Weekly will profile a person killed on June 12, 2016. This week: Deonka Deidra Drayton Her friends knew her as “Zeus.”

Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32, was a largerthan-life personality known for her dreadlocks, snapback hats, jokes and the love she gave to those she cared for, says her friend Lexington Martinez.

He met her almost four years ago at the gay nightclub Pulse, and ever since then, Drayton called him her “Puerto Rican model boyfriend.”

“Whenever I needed anything, I would just contact her,” he says. “One time, my car broke down and she came to pick me up, even though she didn’t have a car. Like, she borrowed a friend’s car to save me.”

Originally from South Carolina, Drayton was known as “Dee Dee” to her family. She had struggled through life but was hustling

to make it better for herself and her young son, whom she co-parented with the child’s mother, Emmy Addison, Martinez says.

Drayton was working at Pulse during the early morning hours of June 12 when a mass shooting started at the club. Drayton and 48 other people died in the massacre. Martinez says he was supposed to be there that night with a group of friends but decided to stay home. He remembers his friend as an amazing person who gave the best hugs.

“She used to literally just pick me up and swing me around,” he says. “Her heart was so pure. She was trying to better herself, but she just didn’t get a chance to finish that. I miss her smile and I miss her laugh.”

Her father, Shepherd Drayton, told the Orlando Sentinel his daughter may not have had a perfect life, but “we loved her through all her ups and downs.” In a post on BlackLesbianLoveLab.com, her former partner Emmy Addison says she and Drayton had booked a cruise for September to talk about getting back together.

“She was a great parent to our son and they loved each other so much,” Addison wrote. “She always made sure our son never needed for anything. … Her heart was truly whole. When she loved, she loved hard and just like anybody walking this earth, she just wanted to live happy with no worries.”

– Monivette Cordeiro

s‘

ICYMI ILLUSTRATION BY CHRIS TOBAR RODRIGUEZ

An ATV-riding gator gets to stay home, Pulse families sue social media, a protest against FedEx ties to the NRA and other things you may have missed this week. »

Florida woman gets to keep her pet gator named Rambo:

»

Pulse families sue Facebook, Twitter and Google:

»

Christina Grimmie’s family sues Orlando venue over singer’s death:

Florida wildlife officials will allow Lakeland resident Mary Thorn to keep her potty-trained, clothes-wearing, ATV-riding pet alligator, aptly named Rambo. The agency stepped in earlier this year after new state regulations were passed requiring gators of a certain length to live on at least 2.5 acres of land. State officials will let the 6-foot-long reptile stay with Thorn on the condition that he makes no more public appearances.

Family members of victims killed in the mass shooting at the gay nightclub Pulse are suing the web companies for helping to radicalize the Orlando shooter by allegedly providing “material support” to the terrorist group ISIS. The lawsuit (filed by the relatives of Tevin Crosby, Javier Jorge-Reyes and Juan Ramon Guerrero) argues the platforms provided ISIS with infrastructure to spread extremist views to new recruits, raise money and earn ad revenue, leading to its explosive growth. ISIS said it was responsible for the attack after Omar Mateen, 29, pledged allegiance to the group during the shooting. Later, an investigation found Mateen did not belong to the organization, but was influenced by them.

The family of Christina Grimmie, the singer who was killed by a shooter after a concert at the Plaza Live, is suing promoter AEG Live and the venue owner, the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra Plaza Foundation. The Grimmie family argues the venue “failed to take adequate security measures to ensure the safety of the performers and the attendees at the concert venue.” The night of June 10, the suit says only “superficial bag checks” were performed, which may have allowed the gunman, Kevin Loibl, to sneak in two handguns, ammunition and a knife.

»

Orlando activists call on FedEx to end discounts for NRA members: Gun reform activists in Orlando were joined by advocates across the country last week to protest FedEx for giving discounts to National Rifle Association members on shipping. Activists argue the FedEx discount and other business benefits given to NRA members enable the gun lobby to push for pro-gun legislation. In the Florida Legislature, several pro-gun bills have been filed, including legislation to allow people with concealed-weapons licenses to openly carry guns in public, and to allow license holders to carry guns in airport passenger terminals, on college campuses, at elementary and secondary schools, and to government meetings. mcordeiro@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

7

threatened to shut down the federal government over Planned Parenthood and default on the debt unless Obama caved to their austerity plans, and treated the president like a Marxist interloper.

This strategy paid off, and now Republicans wield the levers of power.

Progressives need to give what they got in equal measure. Resist. Brook no quarter.

Root out ideological weaklings in safe Democratic districts. Treat politics as a zero-sum-game, because, sadly, that’s what it’s become. And that’s the only way to keep Donald Trump and Paul Ryan in check.

THREE RESOLUTIONS FOR 2017

tiges of a bygone era. And so we have a system in which votes in large, diverse, coastal states are worth less than votes in small, rural, largely white states, and a system in which the fate of history is largely left to arbitrary maps. (If, for instance, the Florida Peninsula were part of Alabama and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan were part of Wisconsin, Hillary Clinton would have won without netting a Or, how to live in Trump’s America single vote.)

So what to do? Obviously, a constiHigh-stakes battles over the fate of the tutional amendment is out. The small Twelve months ago, did anyone really expect that we’d be uttering the Affordable Care Act and the Paris Climate states that have an outsize presence in the words “President-elect Donald Trump”? Agreement loom, as do more tradition- Electoral College would never agree. The That a self-aggrandizing reality show buf- al but no less important fights over tax answer, perhaps, is the National Popular foon with more skeletons than a graveyard policy and judicial appointments. There’s Vote Interstate Compact, in which states would soon be leader of the free world, also an existential crisis over what kind of agree to pledge thanks to an admixture of Russian hacking, country we’re to their electors to FBI interference, bad political strategy and become – one that the popular-vote the anachronistic Electoral College? Or that embraces Trump’s PROGRESSIVES NEED winner (once our insecure narcissist-in-chief would be dark vision of enough states have TO GIVE WHAT THEY GOT. openly dissing the country’s intelligence perpetual white signed on to reach RESIST. BROOK NO QUARTER. agencies, appointing white nationalists to grievance, or one the 270 threshold).

ROOT OUT WEAKLINGS. top White House positions, picking fights that welcomes a To date, 10 states TREAT POLITICS AS A with the cast of Hamilton on Twitter and future of tolerance and Washington, ZERO-SUM-GAME, openly engaging in cronyism and corrup- and diversity.

D.C., are on board, With that in tion?

BECAUSE THAT’S worth 165 electoral mind, I’ve dedi2016 was a hell of a year. votes. If Florida WHAT IT’S BECOME. That evaluation goes beyond the elec- cated this last joined, the comtion, of course. There was the Pulse column of the year pact would be just massacre and countless other mass shoot- to my resolutions 76 votes short. ings. More chaos in Syria. More nuclear for 2017, for living in Trump’s America – To be fair, this idea is of questionable saber-rattling from North Korea. Refugee two political, one personal, all of a piece constitutionality, especially without concrises. Terrorism in Europe. Brexit. A with a commitment to resisting the worst gressional consent. But it’s the best shot creeping sense that the Western liberal of what’s to come. we’ve got. order is fragile and imperiled. Fake news.

The Legislature, of course, is unlikely to Rising global temperatures. The heroes 1. Work to end the Electoral College act. But in Florida, it’s not that hard to get I have been eligible to vote in five an amendment on the ballot. of our youth – Prince and David Bowie, Florence Henderson and Gene Wilder – presidential elections. The Democratic candidate won more votes in four of them, 2. Fight like a Republican dropping like flies.

The silver lining, such as it is, is that but the White House in just two of them.

That is to say, play hardball. Think the American economy finally seems to That’s a problem. back to when Barack Obama was elected It’s not a partisan thing, nor is it an with a huge popular-vote and electoral have its feet under it. Also, Rogue One was pretty great, and Florida approved medi- attempt to delegitimize Trump’s victo- margin. Republicans declared total oppory. Trump won according to the rules sition from the get-go: They voted against cal weed. of the game. But those rules are ves- the stimulus in the midst of a recession, 2017 will be a hell of a year, too.

8

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

3. Restore my faith in humanity Given my previous resolution, this might sound incongruous. But here goes: The election shook me. It eroded my faith in America and the goodness of its people. We elected a racist, misogynist braggart, an avaricious know-nothing con artist who has boasted of sexual assault, to the pinnacle of government, and some 63 million people were willing to overlook the racism, the misogyny, the avarice and the ignorance either because they liked all that stuff or they hated Hillary or they wanted to ban abortion or just blow up the system.

I took Trump’s election personally. I was angry and bitterly disappointed, even at Trump supporters in my own family.

Not because they’re more conservative than me, but because they fell in line with this unqualified lout.

As much shit as the supposedly elitist coastal liberal bubbles have gotten over the last month, to me they represent the best of America – its innovation and ingenuity, its intellectualism, openness and commitment to diversity. And after this election, I came to look askance of those white working-class Trump voters who are now the subjects of a thousand New York Times think pieces, as if their precious feelings and economic anxiety matters more than those of the Latino in Los Angeles or the African-American in Atlanta.

But, like the Trump voters in my family, many of them are good and decent if perhaps misguided people. (There are deplorables, too; let’s not kid ourselves.)

And I don’t want to lose sight of that. To make real progress, progressives need to listen to these folks and speak to their needs. But more than an electoral strategy, I can’t write off 63 million people as hopelessly devoid of kindness and compassion.

By engaging with them, perhaps my faith in humanity will eventually be restored.

I’m not there yet. Maybe by next New Year’s. feedback@orlandoweekly.com @jeffreybillman on Twitter

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

9

The tiny house movement embraces some big ideas

BY RI CHARD REEP

Tiny houses at Orlando Lakefront

dam Money looks deceptively boyish, with a surfer’s tan, blue eyes and a ready smile. Now in his 30s, he could be paying a big mortgage on a suburban ranch home, but instead Money is restoring a kitchen in the clubhouse of the RV park he owns, Orlando Lakefront. He’s built several tiny houses in this mobile home community, bought a few more, and he gazes at them lovingly, like family, as he tours the property.

From Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando Lakefront looks like any other ordinary mobile home park. But these tiny homes, like the movement itself, are secreted inside the more conventional picture of Americana. The standard American dream is a job and a house and a yard and a dog and a kid or two, but Money would rather build a neighborhood, one tiny house at a time.

Tiny houses are trendy, and yet they’re nothing new – wetuash, wattle-and-daub, log cabins and soddies were the original American tiny houses. Giant houses are still rising at a furious pace, and if that’s your choice, there’s nothing wrong with displaying your success writ large. For more and more people, however, something’s missing, and a big empty house is small comfort.

Money’s College Park tiny house village started on the western edge of Lake CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

PHOTO BY RICHARD REEP

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

11

A tiny home repurposed from a U-Haul trailer

PHOTO BY RICHARD REEP

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11

Fairview and is bit by bit spreading inland, back into the park. Money gambled on his intuition that people crave the look and feel of a traditional house; the brightly colored tiny houses strut like tropical cocktails in between weathered old mobile homes.

He pauses at the edge of the lake. “My first tiny house was that one over there,” he gestures with pride. It looks like the back of a U-Haul truck – and indeed that’s what it is, repainted cinnamon-orange and nestled into an oak-shaded wood deck. “Elaine liked that spot, so I converted a used trailer into a house just for her,” Money says.

Cynthia Aimo, a retired attorney and one of Money’s early buyers, lives in a sunny yellow tiny house perched on the shore.

She’s busy cleaning it while her friendly dog watches. “Mainly, I wanted something I could manage without gobbling up all of my time,” she offers from the doorway, vacuum cleaner in hand.

Aimo’s choice to stay small was deliberate: “It is a liberating feeling, not having a huge house hanging over my head, or a big rent check every month.”

Tiny homes represent an option for people who intentionally downsize and want to live more outside of their homes than within them. Conditioned to want more 12

and more, many have succumbed to the American Dream spoon-fed to us by advertising agencies, but by redefining what is meant by “more,” people like Adam Money and Cynthia Aimo are reserving less for big houses and more for their own bigger dreams of the future. ith the exploding popularity of books, websites and TV shows (Tiny House Big Living, Tiny Luxury, Tiny House Nation, Tiny House Hunters, Tiny House Builders, Tiny House Arrest, et. al.) dedicated to the trend, “What’s a tiny house?” isn’t a question heard very often these days. But for the record, practitioners generally define a tiny house as a livable structure (walls, roof, kitchen, bathroom) under 500 square feet, about the size of a two-car garage.

The concept of “living little” started to rise during the decluttering/minimalist craze of the ’00s and gained traction when the recession hit, as a way to combat ridiculous mortgages, endless weekends spent on home repair and lawn-mowing, and the bitter reality that your house value can, despite all your work, drop like a rock when

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

the big boys on Wall Street screw up.

The most common tiny dwelling is the kind on wheels. (Those living the life often refer to them as THOWs.) Tiny houses on wheels can go into RV parks (pending park-owner approval), and sometimes into backyards and other properties, if zoning laws let them – it’s all about access to water, electricity and sewerage.

Eight feet wide by 13 feet high is about as big as you can build; the width and height are restricted by the trailer you build on, and the fact that they can’t be moved on a public thoroughfare without a special permit if they’re any taller or wider than that. But they can be as long as you care to tug around, from a 40-foot-long bussized model to a glorified walk-in closet on a flatbed. Literally a mobile home, a THOW offers, well, mobility: If you don’t like your neighbors, you can always find new ones.

If you don’t want your home to be on wheels, you can build a brick-and-mortar (or whatever material you choose) house on a permanent foundation. And that’s when your local building code takes over. Stairs must be easy enough for everyone to climb, the structure must be hurricane-proof, and it can’t suck electricity like a vampire. The freedom to be bigger and taller than their little wheeled cousins comes at a price: a

host of municipal rules, from window sizes to ceiling height, that differ from state to state and even city to city.

Unlike THOWs, tiny houses on foundations do not face a maximum size limit; instead, they must meet minimum size limits. This was once protection from slumlords building inhumanely small dwellings, but it now serves as property value protectionism. (A street crammed with McMansions is still seen as a desirable and prosperous neighborhood.)

Most places hard-code a minimum house size; in the city of Orlando, it’s 350 square feet per person. Although 700 square feet is not excessive for a couple, it is much larger than the 400 or 500 square feet commonly used as a guideline by the tiny house movement.

Zoning codes usually allow for a small accessory structure on a lot, so long as an actual house is already on the property: think backyard guest cottages, garage apartments, mother-in-law suites. The Fair Housing Act, a 1960s federal regulation, still maintains minimum property standards, but only to guard against cruelly small house sizes: One room must be 120 square feet, with one wall at least 9 feet long.

One thing tiny houses on wheels and tiny houses on foundations have in common is the creative use of three-dimensional space, with lofts and ladders to maximize every square inch. You might find everything you need within reach if you stand in one or two places, and making every space count becomes critical.

Water remains the most difficult problem to solve. Few tiny houses have cisterns, and nearly all of them use various forms of composting toilets. Lacking a sanitary sewer or septic system, one must be ready to deal with the … er … compost. Water supply has to come from somewhere, while the shower and sink have to drain somewhere too.

Meanwhile, a major appeal of tiny homes is that energy costs are much lower, and solar energy is attainable on a smaller budget. All-LED lighting is now pretty standard, and many tiny houses sport photovoltaic panels. Thanks to countries like Japan, with its extremely high energy costs, we now have super-efficient air conditioners that easily adapt to tiny homes. Mitsubishi’s famous “Mr. Slim” electric model has been knocked off by other manufacturers, allowing tiny-house owners to quietly cool their homes with small ductless units. ore than 30,000 people attended the first Florida Tiny House Festival at the St. John’s County Fairgrounds in November, proving CONTINUED ON PAGE 15

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

13

14

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

The Lee family

PHOTO BY RICHARD REEP

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12

that this is not just a hipster trend – it’s a bona fide movement.

The festival was held on a cool, sunny weekend. Strangers struck up conversations in long lines, waiting to step up into tiny houses parked in a field on display.

Ben and Stacy came over from near Port Orange. Ben’s a tall, handsome retired police officer with a service disability, and Stacy is a jovial, auburnhaired traveling nurse. “We live in a condo that’s 1,400 square feet, and we detest it,” Stacy says. “At our income level, there wasn’t much to choose from, and the tiny house offers an attractive solution.”

“We’ve always lived weird,” she grins.

“Once, on a whim, we just up and moved to St. Croix, where I worked as a nurse. It was fun!” Ben sees tiny houses as “more durable than mobile homes, and we can take it with us. It won’t tie us down.”

Stacy sums it up: “We live for experiences, not materialism.”

“Tiny houses aren’t for tiny budgets,” comments a nearby attendee, as we stand in line for a tour of a Cornerstone model. Cornerstone Tiny Homes, based in Longwood, Florida, is probably the Rolls Royce of THOW builders, offering models from 20 to 32 feet long decked out with details like gorgeous glass-tiled showers, granite countertops, ceiling-suspended barn doors and special recessed niches for flatscreen TVs,

which rise on command. These go for around $270-$300 per square foot, as listed on their website.

For one thing, the chassis isn’t cheap.

For another, tiny homes require the same things that bigger homes do: windows, doors, plumbing, wiring and air conditioning. Building costs aren’t just about the amount of materials, anyway; much more of the cost is in the labor, and tiny home builders still compete on quality of design and construction features.

The craftsmanship on display at the festival was high. One tiny house boasted a carved oaken bathtub, which sat beautifully in a tiny bathroom resplendent with tiny tiles. All of these little houses are kind of cute, with their miniature gables, dormers, portholes and front porches. Designs range from shippingcontainer chic to gingerbready Victorian and everything in between.

These structures are in the most exciting evolutionary phase of all – there isn’t a “formula” house yet, so inventive builders at the festival were showing off their most creative uses of space.

There were different arrangements of rooms, interweaving kitchens with living spaces, microscopic porches and loft bedrooms. Stairs became armoires, dining tables hinged up and down on the wall, and TVs disappeared into slots.

What to put over the bathroom – a big bed, or a storage niche? – becomes a CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

15

Adam Money

PHOTO BY RICHARD REEP

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

micro-design project, one that the owners can participate in.

Over 90 houses on wheels rolled into the festival to be viewed, poked and prodded like cars on a dealer’s lot. Singles and younger couples shopped like first-time homebuyers, rapping knuckles on countertops and running fingers over freshly painted wood trim. Retirees eyed the houses hungrily, gauging their spouses’ reactions hopefully. Professional for-sale builds competed with DIY models, which included a few restored vintage RVs, schoolbuses colorfully painted Partridge Family-style, and one rather dour-looking converted semi truck, at best a work in progress.

In another line, we chat with a young family standing in line to see a fifth-wheel model built by Tiny House Chattanooga.

Edward Lee, the dad, says, “We’re living in a mobile home now.” His wife adds, “I’m just fascinated with the TV shows.

You know, what I appreciate about these tiny houses is the clever use of space. I want to see one for real and get inspired to use our own space better.” Lee says, “Someday we hope to afford a real house.”

His children nod somberly.

Tiny houses are not aspirational toys for everyone. For the Lees, it was a chance to see new ways of thinking about living.

They toured nearly all of the houses and came away impressed. “There are some really good ideas here,” Lee says. “I wish the mobile home people would take a lesson from these houses.”

16

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

maller tiny houses can cost as little as $20,000, or about as much as a car. Larger, more tricked-out models get up north of $100,000. When shopping, it’s easy to get lured into the old habits of consumption and overfetishize the kitchens and bathrooms. Most people want to live tiny as a rejection of that impulse, and follow through on downsizing, but it’s OK to have nice things, too.

Saving the money and buying in cash is what every wise tiny-house guru counsels.

If you’re living tiny, why continue to support a bank with a mortgage payment?

However, loans can be had for tiny houses, and the monthly payments aren’t too burdensome – similar to a car payment.

Once the tiny house is parked, it’s easy to add decks and other outdoor-life accoutrements. “This is Florida, after all,” Aimo laughed, pointing out her new deck facing Lake Fairview, when we visited her at College Park’s Orlando Lakefront community.

“I don’t want a big house. I want to travel,” was the most common refrain at the Tiny House Festival, when we asked people why they were considering them.

Richard Skinner and his wife budgeted $30,000 for theirs. “My wife and I just want our home to be base camp,” Skinner said. Their place in Flagler County will accept tiny homes, and once it’s parked, “We’re off!” arts@orlandoweekly.com

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

17

18

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

BY SETH KUBERSKY STAR WARS LAND CONCEPT ART | RENDERING COURTESY LUCASFILM/DISNEY

Throughout 2016, I’ve felt men-

aced and attacked by forces that left me aching for revenge. But in the closing hours of this annus horribilis, I found – dare I say it? – a new hope that these past 12 months may soon be seen as a sucky prequel to a terrific trilogy (or two) to come. OK, it may simply be sci-fantasy to hope that a plucky band of rebels will strike back against encroaching fascism and return freedom to our corner of the galaxy, or even that we’ll all someday look like Kenner action figures of our long, long-ago selves. It may just be my apres-Rogue One buzz talking, but I’m ready to finally turn a page on Episode MMXVI and start getting excited for the new arts and attractions rapidly approaching us in the new year.

While we’re speaking of Star Wars, let’s start at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, whose new Star Wars land won’t open for several more years. As a stopgap, elements from the newest film were recently added to the Launch Bay exhibit and nightly Galactic Spectacular fireworks, which is currently my favorite nighttime show at Walt Disney World. Animal Kingdom will debut Pandora, their new Avatar-inspired expansion, and (hopefully) Rivers of Light, which was on my “most anticipated” list for 2016 before its indefinite delay. And the Magic Kingdom ended 2016 by introducing beer and wine to more sit-down restaurants in the park, which should help dull the pain of the park not getting a new E-Ticket next year.

But it’s Epcot that’s kicking off 2017 with my most eagerly awaited Disney addition, the new International Festival of the Arts running Jan. 13-Feb. 20. Along with food kiosks and art displays, the event will include concerts starring Broadway performers from Aladdin, Newsies and other

I’m ready to turn the page on 2016 and get excited about new arts and attractions in the New Year.

Disney shows. Epcot’s World Showcase now hosts “seasonal” festivals virtually year-round. That may help distract guests from the sorry state of Future World, which will soon see major revamping; you should probably take your farewell rides on Ellen’s Energy Adventure ASAP. A few miles up I-4, Universal Orlando has its hands full with not only additional attractions and hotel rooms on tap for 2017, but an entire new park. Universal ended 2016 strong with an improved Macy’s Holiday Parade (boasting better choreography and a beautiful new Virginia Davis balloon) in the Studios, which makes me optimistic for the new Secret Life of Pets segment just added to the park’s aging afternoon parade. What intrigues me most are the crowd-management concepts Universal is introducing with their new Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon simulator and Volcano Bay water park, which will leverage smartphone apps and electronic bracelets to eliminate standby lines, replacing queues with reserved entry times.

Across the under-construction Caravan Court cut-through to International Drive, Fun Spot delivered their own glimpse of the future as an early Christmas gift, making the dynamite VR Coaster I demoed during IAAPA available to regular guests

riding their Freedom Flyer without additional charge. If an independent outfit like Fun Spot can make VR functional, I have faith that SeaWorld can figure it out for themselves by next summer, when Kraken will sprout virtual reality headsets.

Over on the performing arts side, I’m beside myself with excitement over next weekend’s Orlando Fringe Winter Mini-Fest, which revives 19 of the best productions from last May’s festival, including several Critics’ Choice winners that I helped select. Local favorites like 5 Lesbians Eating Quiche, Jefferson & Jupiter, Space and Slut Like Me will return to Orlando Shakes Jan. 5-8, alongside national and international acts including Jimmy Hogg, Jon Bennett, Stewart Huff, Inescapable and Edgar Allan. Speaking of Orlando Shakes, they recently announced my inner nerd’s No. 1 pick for next spring, a staging of Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra starring Michael Dorn, aka Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

As I mentioned last week, Mad Cow’s troubles have prompted concern about the state of Orlando’s theater community, but from where I stand it looks strong.

Director Kenny Howard capped 2016 at the Orlando Repertory Theatre with the Orlando premiere of Out of the Apple Orchard, a rare Jewish-themed holiday play. Winter Park Playhouse launches their 2017 Spotlight series Jan. 11-12 with Natalie Cordone’s Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, the latest cabaret from the operatic veteran of Vegas and NYC. And Greater Orlando Actors Theatre is following up 2016’s Jekyll & Hyde with another horror musical Jan. 13-22, The Toxic Avenger. So no matter what becomes of the pasture, 2017 seems to be poised for a stellar start. skubersky@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

19

20

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

STARTER

NOLA-STYLE CHARBROILED OYSTERS

How to host a New Year’s Eve bonfire with minimal work and maximum flash

If you can’t get to the Big Easy to partake of these broiled bivalves, doing it yourself is the next best thing. Get a big enough square of chicken wire (or a big grill grate, if you’re fancy) and set it right on top of the fire until the oysters bubble. If shucking oysters isn’t on your list of kitchen skills, grab a couple dozen pre-shucked from Lombardi’s Seafood in Winter Park (order by 3 p.m.

Dec. 30 to pick up by 3 p.m. Dec. 31).

To prepare, set the oysters on the halfshell on the grate. Sprinkle each one generously with Parmesan, minced garlic and a big dot of salted butter. Set the grate on the fire for 10 or 15 minutes, or until the oysters start to bubble and the cheese is golden-brown.

BY HOLLY V. KAPHERR

DESSERT

A

fter all the insanity this year brought (and, let’s face it, 2017 ain’t gonna answer anyone’s prayers either), let’s just forget the sequins and black ties, the fireworks and fanciness. Put on your comfiest jeans and your coziest flannel and head out back.

Instead of shelling out megabucks for champagne toasts or paying cover charges just to dodge a bunch of amateurs’ vomit puddles, stay home. Eat good food around a backyard bonfire with your buds. Cook over an open fire. Make a big batch of cocktails to share rather than popping a hundred bottles. Simplify. (If you’re still looking for a New Year’s resolution, that’s a good one.)

To simplify things even further, here’s a menu you can follow. Don’t even think about weenies and marshmallows – we’re all adults here, and you’ll want something full of flavor and sophistication, even if you’re just sitting on tailgate chairs and sipping from Solos.

Follow this plan and you’ll eat fabulously fireside on Dec. 31 without having a dish to wash on Jan. 1. That’s ringing in 2017 in a blaze of glory, if you ask us.

an hour, move the pot (wear pot holders!) to the outer edge of the fire, making sure there’s still coals underneath it, for two or three more hours. Remove the pot from the fire and let cool for 20 or 30 minutes. Shred the pork with a fork and layer it on fresh buns with coleslaw and bread-and-butter pickles.

For tacos, rub the pork shoulder with ancho chili powder, sugar, cumin, coriander, allspice, lime juice and salt, all to taste.

Let it sit in the refrigerator for up to two days, covered. When you’re ready to cook, place the pork in the cast iron skillet and pour a dark beer around it, then follow the same cooking directions as for the BBQ pork above. Serve with tortillas, pickled jalapeños, cilantro and sour cream, plus any other toppings you love.

CAST-IRON COBBLER

MAIN

AULD LANG SWINE COCKTAIL

BEER + BOURBON + BERRIES = BLASTED Make an ice raft by placing fresh cranberries and four cups of hot water in a bundt pan, then leaving it in the freezer until set. Make the punch by mixing three and a half cups of cranberry juice, a cup of bourbon, half a cup of lime juice, a quarter-cup of simple syrup, an ounce of cinnamon-flavored whisky (like Fireball) and four bottles of lager beer. Use a little hot water to loosen the raft from the bundt pan and float it in the punch bowl before serving.

You have two ways to go here. First option: Braise a pork shoulder with a bottle of BBQ sauce in a heavy cast-iron pot or Dutch oven for two hours, then serve with potato rolls or King’s Hawaiian sweet bread and pre-made coleslaw for easy pulled pork sandwiches. Or rub a pork shoulder with Mexican chilies and spices and braise it in dark beer, then pull it apart and stuff it into tortillas for tacos.

If you go the BBQ route, marinate the pork shoulder for 24 hours before cooking. Then place the pork shoulder and the marinade in a cast-iron pot with two cups of water or light lager beer. Put the cover on the pot and place the pot between the outer rim of the fire and the center. After orlandoweekly.com

●

If you’ve got a smaller crowd, you can make this in a cast-iron skillet nestled in the coals with a lid on top. If the whole neighborhood showed up, a deep cast-iron Dutch oven is best. Whatever fruit you choose (for the most festive, we’d go apple and cranberry), the topping is the same: a cup of brown sugar, a cup of rolled oats, three-quarters of a cup of flour, a pinch of salt and half a cup of chilled butter, all pulsed in a food processor until it comes together.

For apple-cranberry cobbler, use three pounds of either Golden Delicious or Granny Smith apples – peeled, cored and seeded – cut into large pieces. Add a bag of fresh cranberries, a generous cup of sugar, and two tablespoons of apple cider. Mix it all up. Layer the fruit mixture on the bottom of the pot, then top with the streusel.

Cover and place the whole thing in the fire for about 40 minutes. Move the pot to the outside edge of the fire, lift the lid and let it cook another seven or eight minutes to crisp the top. Vanilla ice cream is not optional.

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

dining@orlandoweekly.com ●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

21

22

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

Persimmon Hollow Brewing Co. 111 W. Georgia Ave., DeLand, 386-873-7350, persimmonhollowbrewing.com

Essay question: Why should I drink here?

It would be harder to think of reasons not to drink at Persimmon Hollow than to list all the reasons you should – though, admittedly, its location in DeLand makes it a once-in-a-while treat for Orlandoans. The historic building (converted from a garage) in DeLand’s SoNY neighborhood is an airy, high-ceilinged space scattered with big dining tables (each with six or so comfy high-backed chairs) with a longer bar counter tucked in toward the back, all with a view of the glassed-in area housing the shining steel tanks where Persimmon Hollow’s beers are brewed. With at least eight of their own brews on tap plus more bottles, cans, ciders and wine, there are plenty of sipping options, and the tables are full of couples canoodling, Stetson TAs grading papers, and families playing board games (complete with toddlers running around). The option to order in food is nice, too, especially considering the proximity to Bake Chop on Artisan Alley and Neighbors Artisan Taqueria across the street.

Short answer/multiple choice:

Dog-friendly? Y

After work or after hours? After work; lazy weekend afternoons; between sets at Café DaVinci

Bag hooks? Y

Beer/wine or liquor too? Beer and wine

Check all that apply: fancy cocktails make ’em strong and keep ’em coming wine list (5 choices or more) craft beer beer: the usual suspects wide selection of bottles/cans (more than 8) wide selection on tap (more than 8)

Food served? Y N Not made in-house, but there are menus for the taco stand across the street on each table Smoking allowed inside? Y Outside drinking? Y

N

N

N N

Bathrooms: nightmare or not bad?

Not bad! In the ladies’, stalls are built from vintage doors; in the men’s, Yuengling kegs are cut into urinals (and that’s the only place you’ll find Yuengling here).

TVs? Y N What’s on? Sports DJs? Y

N

Live music? Y

N

Loud music or background music?

There’s Touchtunes, but on our visit no one touched it; the football game on the TV nearest us was just barely audible.

Games? Check all that apply: pinball video (Golden Tee) pool darts other: ___________ orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

23

24

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

recently reviewed EDITED BY JESSICA BRYCE YOUNG

$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$

$10 OR LESS $10-$15 $15-$25 $25 OR MORE

The price range generally reflects the average cost of one dinner entree. Bakeries, ice cream shops, etc. reflect relative cost for one person.

Search hundreds more reviews at orlandoweekly.com

BARTACO Beach-themed taquería fuses Mexican tradition with Latin, Mediterranean and Asian flavors and, for the most part, does so successfully. Tacos are on the small side, but when corn tortillas are filled with such succulent meats as duck confit in tamarind glaze, rotisserie pork pastor, and soy-, sesame- and srirachamarinated Angus ribeye topped with kimchi, substance tends to trump size.

Vegetarian options (falafel, cauliflower, portobello) abound, but don’t overlook other items like kicked-up, creamy guac and grilled corn rolled in lime, cayenne and cotija. Cocktails please even when desserts don’t wow. Open daily. 7600 Dr. Phillips Blvd., 407-801-8226; $$

EARLS KITCHEN + BAR As in other cities, Canadian import Earls Kitchen + Bar “unchains the chain” with way-cool interior design, and that verve finds its way into the kitchen as well, with a menu of global greatest hits ranging from bibimbap to poke and chimichurri steak to Cajun chicken.

English sticky toffee pudding makes a great ending (just ask for more toffee sauce), while an above-average cocktail program keeps it interesting on the libationary front. Open daily (until 2 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays). 4200 Conroy Road, 407-345-8260; $$

TENNESSEE TRUFFLE Southern fare and French technique fuse at chef-owner Nat Russell’s downhome Sanford resto. His biscuits and gravy might be the best in Central Florida, and the same could be said of his maque-choux and creamed corn.

Biscuit sandwiches, like the BLT and chicken salad, are wholly satisfying, though be wary of palate-shreddingly firm biscuits. A scoop of house-made ice cream (brown butter and buttered popcorn, specifically) is the way to end. Breakfast and lunch only. Closed Sundays and Mondays. 125 W. First St., Sanford, 407-942-3977; $ CONTINUED ON PAGE 28

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

25

26

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

27

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25

TEAK NEIGHBORHOOD GRILL

This chill MetroWest hang developed a loyal following for its hefty half-pound burgers and craft brews, and it’s no wonder.

Purists can indulge in the “Plain Jane” with American cheese, Bibb lettuce and tomato on a brioche bun, while braver souls can feel the heat with the peppery “Wholey Hell!!!”. There’s even a donut burger for heart haters. Open daily until 2 a.m. 6400 Time Square Ave., 407-313-5111; $$

1921 BY NORMAN VAN AKEN

PURCHASE YOUR TICKETS FOR UPCOMING EVENTS AT

ORLANDOWEEKLYTICKETS.COM FEATURED F E AT U R E D EVENT EVENT

DECEMBER 28 DREW YARDIS

Reflecting the culinary traditions of Florida old and new, 1921 by Norman Van Aken dazzles with art, decor and menu focusing on the flora and fauna of the Sunshine State, like dumplings filled with mousse of spiny lobster and rock shrimp in a country ham dashi. Pan-roasted duck breast with mole poblano is staggeringly good, as is whole Cape Canaveral white shrimp, Anson Mills grits and a fosse of spiced ’nduja vinaigrette and ramp butter spiked with pickled gooseberries. The tres leches popsicle is poetry on a plate. Closed Mondays. 142 E. Fourth Ave., Mount Dora, 352-385-1921; $$$$

FRONTERA COCINA

Rick Bayless’s Disney Springs concept is, no surprise, a family-friendly affair with a safe offering of well-executed Mexican dishes, not least of which is the tortilla soup with red chile chicken broth. Vegetarians ought to sample tostadas heaped with grilled zucchini and strips of poblano rajas, while meat-eaters will relish every bite of the cochinita pibil torta (think Mexican hoagie).

For dessert, give the fried plantains with ice cream and cajeta a go. 1604 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-560-9197; $$$ DREW YARDIS DECEMBER 28TH

MELISSA CRISPO DECEMBER 29TH

SWING DANCE NIGHT W/ THE, YOU’RE WELCOME SHOW THE MIDNIGHT RAMBLERS MAGIC MIKE XXL MALE REVIEW FEBRUARY 15TH, 2017 JANUARY 28TH

DRINK AROUND THE HOOD JANUARY 18TH

Affordable pho, rice bowls and noodle bowls makes this small, trendy eatery a bastion of collegians attending UCF and Full Sail. Fair warning: The place can get packed pretty quickly, but if you snag a table, take advantage and order the oversized “king pho” bowl with as beefy a broth as you’ll ever slurp. While bao and spring rolls are serviceable, the rice bowl with crispy tofu and the banh mi are surefire options. 7581 University Blvd., Winter Park, 407-636-6069; $ ORLANDO CHILI COOK-OFF FEBRUARY 18TH

SELL YOUR EVENT TICKETS on OrlandoWeeklyTickets.com & get FREE PROMOTION in Orlando Weekly.

Call Brad: (407) 377-0400 ext 204 or email brad@orlandoweekly.com 28

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

VIET-NOMZ

DOVECOTE

It’s hard to find a clunker on this downtown brasserie’s menu of approachable French cuisine, whether you’re downing starters like French onion soup (a specialty), tomato-water risotto or Vietnamese seafood stew, or entrees like steak frites, moules frites or vermouth-braised pork cheeks. Partake in their progressive cocktail program, or enjoy one of the many French wines offered by the glass. 300 N. Orange Ave., 407-930-1700; $$$$ n

BEST VINTAGE OR USED CLOTHING D EC HO E S

B EST CO MI C B O O K S H O P

A droolworthy selection of designer goods, vintage finds and gently used accessories makes Dechoes the kind of place you stop at on the regular to hunt for clothing bargains. Unlike a lot of resale stores, Dechoes has an upscale but edgy vibe, so you never have to feel like you’re slumming it when you shop here.

Gods & Monsters offers whatever you’re looking for in terms of action figures, statues and collected editions of your favorite comics. Themed tabletop gaming booths – some sci-fi themed and decked out in faux metal branded with Weyland-Yutani logos, others looking like the VIP booth at a Westerosi tavern – invite you to step in, sit down and start a session of your favorite game or try out a new one for free.

GODS & MONST ERS

BEST ADULT ENTERTAINMENT STORE Fairvilla Megastore

BEST COMIC BOOK SHOP Gods & Monsters

BEST LIQUOR STORE Total Wine & More

BEST TATTOO STUDIO Trinity Tattoo Company

BEST ANTIQUE STORE Renninger’s Antique Center

BEST DOGGIE DAYCARE Happy Paws Pet Resort

BEST NAIL SALON Marilyn Monroe Spas

BEST VAPE STORE The Vapour Room of Orlando

BEST BARBERSHOP Floyd’s 99 Barbershop

BEST FARMERS MARKET Winter Park Farmers Market

BEST PET GROOMER Woof Gang Bakery & Grooming

BEST VETERINARIAN Loch Haven Veterinary Hospital

BEST BEAUTY SERVICES Honey Comb Hair and Makeup Studio

BEST FLORIST In Bloom Florist

BEST PET SUPPLIES STORE Petsmart

BEST VINTAGE OR USED CLOTHING STORE Dechoes Resale

BEST BICYCLE SHOP Orange Cycle

BEST FURNITURE STORE Washburn Imports

BEST PLACE TO ADOPT A PET Orange County Animal Services

BEST WINE SHOP Tim’s Wine Market

BEST BOOKSTORE Barnes & Noble

BEST HAIR SALON Alchemy

BEST RECORD STORE Park Ave CDs

BEST BOUTIQUE Cloak & Dapper

BEST LINGERIE STORE Fairvilla Megastore

BEST SMOKE SHOP Pipe Dreams

orlandoweekly.com ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017 To order a Best of Orlando plaque visit: orlandoweekly.newskeepsake.com To participate in this page call: (407) 377-0400 ext 278

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

29

30

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

[ concert preview ] You voted in Florida and Idaho at the same time.”

So you’re saying that’s why he won by such a razor-thin margin in Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin and Georgia?

GREAT LIVE MUSIC RATTLES ORLANDO EVERY NIGHT Eugene Snowden

They were all crosscheck states.

It’s bound to get emotional at the last

Where were you when you found out that Trump won the election?

I was on a plane back from Colombia when things seemed fine. I was changing planes in Panama City and it was apparent that Trump had seized power.

It was one of the worst nights of my life. I tried to explain how the Electoral College works to a Panamanian flight attendant.

The response was, “How can you explain democracy to me when you don’t have democracy in your own country?”

2016 installment of this local soul crooner’s weekly residency at Lil Indies.

10 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 28, at Lil Indies, free

Vivian K Improbably this road-hungry troupe of Floridian expatriates are still in the area for a bit longer. Best to catch their overdriven, intelligent emo punk while you can.

9 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 29, at Spacebar, $5

How bad is it going to be for the next four years?

PHOTO BY MONTECRUZ FOTO

DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER Punk firebrand Jello Biafra just saw everything he’s been warning us about for decades come true this November

interview, the former Dead Kennedys frontman weighed in to the Orlando Weekly on President-elect Donald Trump and ringing in the New Year in Orlando.

BY ED CONDRAN

Orlando Weekly: How did Trump become the president-elect?

Jello Biafra: This is the first election

T

eenage angst may have paid massive creative dividends for Cali punk icon Jello Biafra – whether in the Dead Kennedys, Lard, Guantanamo School of Medicine, or heading up the Alternative Tentacles label – but when it came time to get bored and old, Biafra kept pushing the limits. He wrote books, became a spoken-word artist, ran for various political offices (with tongue wedged firmly in cheek), collaborated with everyone from Mojo Nixon to the Melvins, and even tried his hand at acting. Recently he’s been hitting stages with the wonderfully named New Orleans Raunch and Soul Allstars, throwing “Incredibly Strange Dance Parties,” and NOT participating in Dead Kennedy’s reunion shows. This Saturday, Biafra performs at Will’s Pub, with the Reverend Horton Heat, to ring in an increasingly uncertain 2017 like some sort of sonic herald of doom. In a rare

It depends on how tenaciously people fight back. Here we are with climate change deniers in the Department of the Interior and the Environmental Protection Agency. It’s not foxes in the hen house – it’s werewolves with machine guns.

TMD 12_30_16 Coming off the success of their recent Counterweight event, local electronics collective TMD stages one last show to raise funds for the Oakland Ghost Ship Fire Relief fund.

10 p.m. Friday, Dec. 30, at Spacebar, $1-up

Will this ignite a spark in a sated music environment?

People said it was great when Ronald Reagan was president because it made for great punk rock. But everyone from the Clash to the Bad Brains to the Dead Kennedys were all fully formed before Margaret Thatcher and Reagan seized power. We went after the corporations.

The people at the top are like crack addicts.

They have more money than they’ll ever need but they’re addicted to money. They have the just-win attitude, and everyone else must lose. They don’t want capitalism anymore. They want feudalism.

for Jim Crow 2.0 after the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act. How much of this low turnout is because people What can we weren’t allowed expect when you JELLO BIAFRA with the Reverend to vote in the first ring in the New Horton Heat, Legendary Shack Shakers, place? The interYear in Orlando?

Giddy Up Go, WildTones, Woolly state crosscheck I’m doing a Bushmen, Kidney Stone, the Smash program was cameo with the and Beartoe put together by Reverend Horton 6:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 31 that right-wing Heat. I’m playWill’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. evil genius Kris ing in the middle willspub.org Kobach. Here’s of the set. I’m $25-$35 how it works in not sure if it will states: The states be at midnight. that opted in, 29 But when I look or 30 of them including Florida, gave the ahead, all I can say is who knows what it crosscheck program their entire database. will be like for the next four years. It’ll be a Crosscheck is programmed to flag simi- bumpy ride. The bumpier we make it, the lar names if they find two names that less likely the plane will crash. match: “Oh, you committed voter fraud. music@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

●

Fiona Getting live music diehards downtown on New Year’s Eve is a tough bill of goods to sell, but local R&B alien Fiona is giving it a go, along with BBTA, Grape and more.

10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 31, at the Social, free

New Year’s Day Party Whether you’re forcing your weary carcass out of bed or improbably still going at it, this DJ-heavy daytime affair is an alternative to sportsball shenanigans.

11 a.m. Sunday, Jan. 1, at Spacebar, free

Drool The freakier end of hardcore punk will be on full display tonight, whether it be Drool’s Flipper-on-speed trip or Flamethrower’s sneaking admiration for Motorhead.

10 p.m. Monday, Jan. 2, at Uncle Lou’s, $5

Radicalized Youth Hard-charging local noise punks throw down at Lou’s, still riding high from a recent tape release.

9 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 3, at Uncle Lou’s, free

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

31

32

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

33

34

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

BY B AO L E - H U U TEMPERAMENT | PHOTO BY LIV JONSE

In music, in everything, it’s been a funereal year. But perhaps the way it concluded here – with two debuts that were inspired, homegrown and possibly recurring – can give us hope for 2017.

THE BEAT

Art guerrillas Time Waste Management and left-field dance cabal TMD – two of the city’s most forward arts organizations – pooled their energy and vision into Counterweight (Dec. 15, Audubon Park Covenant Church), a show merging ambient sounds, video art and an unconventional setting.

Lifting off was Temperament, a drone project by Glenn Ritchey of noisemetal band Ad Nauseum. His elemental set unfurled like a soundtrack that suddenly makes you feel the mass tectonic creep happening beneath your feet. It was a slow rise that began in the primordial ooze, emerged into a prehistoric mammoth plod and then voyaged out into a storm of disintegration.

Closing was Ubik, a project by Fortune Howl’s Bryce Linde. Unlike his main gig, this is an even more abstract concept whose experimental DNA is woven with strains of ambient music and found sound.

It’s capricious, suspended in wonder and would be right at home on Illuminated Paths.

With due respect to ambient music, however, there’s a reason it’s called such.

So it was a smart stroke by the event conceivers to build in a visual aspect. Sounds like these allow visuals to be not just a backdrop but an integrated and activating force, like it was with the work of Orlando film artist Kate Shults. Her video projec-

Temperament’s set was a slow rise that began in the primordial ooze, emerged into a prehistoric mammoth plod and then voyaged out into a storm of disintegration. tions – spanning the entire chancel wall – were the only light in the cavernous space, creating kinetic impressionism that gave optical life to the sonic movements happening.

But the last defining factor was the setting itself: a church. Alive with underground pulse, under the nighttime spell of art like this, it exuded extraordinary presence. Everything culminated, effectively and transportingly.

Seeing people present interesting things is always great, but that’s only half the formula for sustainability. So it’s just as invigorating and meaningful to see a thirst for it like there was on this well-attended night. With such a compelling premiere, this multidisciplinary affair will be a series worth watching. It’s the most ambitious musical art campaign to contend in a long time, next-level DIY that’s beyond the garage. If Time Waste Management and TMD can make it a thing, Orlando will have a very fresh new horizon.

Then, in an MVP turn only 48 hours later, Glenn Ritchey launched his own behemoth baby, the Florida Is Loud Fest (Dec. 16-18, Uncle Lou’s and Will’s Pub).

The festival – the biggest, most notable heavy-music congress in a long time – is a fiercely DIY affair that’s proof of the depth of community in the underground.

Its focus is on Florida acts, which is a deep enough pool when it comes to metal and punk. But its reach radiated beyond, summoning a notable national in Nashville’s Yautja, who’ve forged alliances through frequent tours through here, and the homecoming of beloved, formerly local hardcore crew Knife Hits on the apex night (Dec. 17, Will’s Pub).

I arrived in time to catch only the end of the set by St. Pete’s Weltesser, but the damage and infatuation is likely permanent. It doesn’t require a half-hour to absorb, process and appreciate a nuclear roar like this. It’s one of the most overwhelming detonations of sludge and doom around, and I will not be late for their next Orlando stop.

Collectively, Knife Hits brought some impressive torque and velocity to a bill heavy on the heavy. But, individually, it was nice seeing the faces of these Orlando expats around the bar again.

And Miami duo Holly Hunt reminded again that they own some of the most distilled and monolithic sludge in the game right now.

Hopefully, the clear fellowship that permeated the proceedings and the crowds like the one that packed out Will’s Pub will impel the Florida Is Loud Fest to be a recurring thing, because there hasn’t been a concentration of talent this big, heavy and good here in years. Good vibes, maximum tonnage, unholy volume.

Brace yourself, loves, TLU will be on break next week. baolehuu@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

35

Wednesday, Dec. 28

Thursday, Dec. 29

Florida Citrus Parade

Le BLORR

EVENTS

If you love a holiday parade – or just love standing around downtown – don’t miss this beloved annual tradition, a 1.4-mile processional of floats studded with thousands of pieces of citrus fruit alternating with highschool and college marching bands from across the country. Standing (and sniffing – wheeew, orange juice!) is free, of course, but elevated seating is also available for $29 per keister. As we went to press, grandstand seating was still available, but it tends to sell out – so if you want to observe in comfort, you’d better snap up tickets fast. The Citrus Parade is televised “in over 75 percent of the TV markets in the United States as well as international locations such as Canada, the United Kingdom, Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands and the military syndicated channel America One,” according to parade organizers, so whether you sit or stand, this is your chance to make Northerners jealous as you gently perspire for the camera. – Jessica Bryce Young pre-parade show 10 a.m.; parade 11 a.m.-1 p.m. | downtown Orlando, starting at Orange Avenue and Robinson Street | 407-423-2476 | floridacitrusparade.com | free; grandstand tickets $29

Thursday, Dec. 29

The Roots

MUSIC

OUR PICKS FOR THE BEST EVENTS THIS WEEK

Sweaty, hairy Florida duo Le BLORR (that’s Bastard Lovechild of Rock & Roll, if you’re into acronyms in your rock & roll) ruled the game in this state for a few glorious years, a mess of big noise and bigger attitude that seemed readymade for arenas and festivals from downright minimal raw material and vocals. For a moment there, it looked like the twosome – Chris Hess (vocals/guitar) and Adam Wynn (drums) – were going to hit the big time with their Technicolor garage rock, but it wasn’t meant to be. Next thing you know, Hess and Wynn had moved on to their more meditative indie psych project, SWIMM, where they’re currently crafting serrated hymns and sweating it out in Los Angeles. But the holidays are here, and it has the odd effect of bringing people back home under the soft glow of nostalgia and second chances, so we’re one of only a couple of Florida cities benefitting from a brief spate of reunion shows at the end of this month. ’Tis the season. – Matthew Moyer with Saskatchewan, Fay Roy, Tiger Fawn | 8 p.m. | Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | willspub.org | $8

36

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

MUSIC

Before you kick 2016 to the curb, there’s one last event this year that might make it slightly redeemable after all the garbage it churned out.

Legendary hip-hop band the Roots are coming to play in Orlando right after Christmas and before New Year’s, in an effort to end this year on a high note. The Philadelphia collective, named one of the greatest live bands by Rolling Stone magazine, includes original founding members Tariq “Black Thought” Trotter and Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson. Come for the soulful music and stay for the lyrical flow of learning. – Monivette Cordeiro 7:30 p.m. | House of Blues, Disney Springs, 1490 Buena Vista Drive | 407-934-2583 | hob.com/orlando | $57.50-$122.75

Thursday, Dec. 29

Saturday, Dec. 31

Deadly Vipers

Blue Year’s Eve MUSIC

Detroit scum-rock quartet the Deadly Vipers (formerly the Lady Snowbloodesque Deadly Viper Assassination Squad), despite their young age, have neatly sidestepped the more big-business side of modern Detroit rockers, and made a beeline for the dark alleys and forgotten corners of the truly fucked sound of the city. Think the Gories, the Stooges, Protomartyr, Wolf Eyes. Right now they’ve got the Cataclysmic Events 7-inch EP, and earlier this month dropped a fulllength album, A Night of Fright, on their Bandcamp page. Both are packed full of deranged, swampy, headtripped, skronked-out loser anthems. Local support comes from the Golden Pelicans, who know the good trash, for God’s sake.

Recommended as a great way to cap off the live music end of 2016, during a part of the year that’s usually the live music dead zone, between Xmas and New Year’s. ’Tis the season? – MM with Golden Pelicans, GammaWaves | 9 p.m. | Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave. | 407-270-9104 | free

Saturday, Dec. 31

Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl: LSU vs. Louisville SPORTS

We’re going into this year’s Citrus Bowl with some high-stakes questions: Will the absence of Leonard Fournette on the field leave LSU in ruins despite an otherwise impressive season? Will Lamar Jackson’s Heisman win go to his head, creating an unchecked whirlwind of ego on the field and dooming Louisville? And most importantly: When, exactly, will Orlando get the downtown Buffalo Wild Wings location its residents sorely deserve? Sure, fans could make the trip down to I-Drive to the nationally known eatery and bar’s closest location, but then they’d have to hold back on B-Dub’s amazing selections of bucket beers and choice cocktails. How does the NCAA expect downtown Orlando to truly enjoy the Citrus Bowl experience when the game’s very namesake is an exceedingly expensive Uber ride away? Of all the bars celebrating college football downtown on this very day, we’re not hearing from the one we hoped would text back. And that’s not right, Buffalo Wild Wings. We’re tired of making sacrifices for a Parmesan Garlic-encrusted flight of boneless fancy! There’s no Asian Zing left in this relationship, so quit being a Caribbean Jerk and bring the Sweet BBQ to downtown. Come over to our place for once – and stay over. If you don’t, we can’t be held responsible for how many times we call you after digging into some Bourbon Honey Mustard. You knew we were full of Salt and Vinegar when you met us. – Abby Stassen 11 a.m. | Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place | 407-440-5700 | campingworldstadium.com | $60-$260

PHOTO BY MIKE DUNN MUSIC

As of press time, we’ve managed to make it through 2016 – a year fraught with celebrity deaths – without losing singular American songwriter and performance artist Tom Waits. But if we’ve learned anything from this year, it’s that it’s just a matter of time before things get worse. That fatalistic outlook has been a hallmark of plenty of Waits songs over the years, like 2002’s Blood Money standouts “Everything Goes to Hell” and “God’s Away on Business.” For New Year’s Eve, local Waits devotee Kaleigh Baker – who routinely inhabits the same dimly lit, whiskey-soaked musical terroir as Waits – offers up an entire evening to his songs, interpreting them in her distinctly powerful voice with accompaniment from some of Orlando’s best musicians. Something of a moody alternative to the raucous New Year’s Eve party featuring Jello Biafra next door, Baker’s Blue Year’s Eve only has a limited number of tickets available, eliminating the shoulder-to-shoulder cramped vibe that a busy night at Lil Indies can result in. To accompany the night of Kaleigh and Co. using beautiful melodies to tell you terrible things, Indies is working on a special all-Tom Waits-inspired menu, a slight break from their usual one-Tom Waitsthemed-drink per seasonal menu policy. – Thaddeus McCollum 9 p.m. | Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave. | willspub.org | $15-$20

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

37

38

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON NEW YEAR’S EVE? Plan ahead to figure out the best way to send 2016 into oblivion 2016 Can Kiss My Ass Blue and her Varietease troupe tell 2016 to “suck it” with an outrageous burlesque extravaganza, plus champagne toast. 9 pm; The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; $20$25; 407-412-6895; thevenueorlando.com.

Attic New Year’s Eve EDM music. VIP packages, bottle service and table reservations available. 9 pm; The Attic, 68 E. Pine St.; $60$90; 407-403-1161; theatticorlando.com.

Blue Year’s Eve with Kaleigh Baker Ms. Baker sings nothing but Tom Waits songs, accompanied by a rotating band of her Enablers. 9 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; $15-$20; willspub.org.

Burlesque of the Apocalypse Burlesque from Blacklist Babes Cabaret. Complimentary champagne toast at midnight and a balloon drop. 7:30 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$25; stmatthewstavern.com.

Church Street New Year’s Eve Block Party Live entertainment all night and fireworks at midnight at downtown Orlando’s only three-tiered bar. Table reservations available.

8 pm; Chillers, 33 W. Church St.; $39-$99; 407-649-4270; churchstreetbars.com.

Countdown to Midnight Libations, dancing, “best-of-the-best” culinary bites from Disney restaurants, and the “Fantasy in the Sky” fireworks spectacular. 8 pm; Disney’s Contemporary Resort, Walt Disney World Resort, Lake Buena Vista; $225; 407-824-1000; disneyworld.com.

The Diamond Ball DJs, dancers and more at this glittering skytop celebration. VIP packages available. 9 pm; One80 Grey Goose Lounge, 400 W. Church St.; $59$99; 407-440-7180; 180downtown.com.

DRIP’s New Year’s Eve Glitter and glam stations, a color bar, a champagne bar and a full theatrical performance with dancers and a live band. 9:30 pm; DRIP, 8747 International Drive; $49-$89; 347-855-3747; ilovedrip.com.

Escape at Backbooth Costume contest, DJs, tarot readings and live performers at this

fetish-themed party. 9 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $10; 407-999-2570; backbooth.com.

Eve Six CityWalk clubs, unlimited gourmet cuisine, an outdoor dance floor, pyrotechnics display and midnight champagne toast.

8 pm; CityWalk at Universal Orlando, 1000 Universal Studios Plaza; $109.99-$174.99; 407-363-8000; universalorlando.com.

Fallout: New Year’s Eve A Fallout-inspired apocalypse New Year’s Eve party with a midnight champagne toast and Fallout-themed entrees for purchase. VIP package available. 7 pm; Cloak and Blaster, 875 Woodbury Road; $10-$15; cloakandblaster.com.

Happy Noon Year Make some noise and ring in the noon year with family-friendly games and an exciting countdown at noon. Ages 3-8.

11:30 am-12:15 pm; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

James Bond New Year’s Eve Party An annual James Bond-themed shindig. Prizes for the best Bond/Bond girl outfits. 8 pm; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $99; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

New Year’s Bollywood Eve Party Featuring a live performance from Abhinanda Sarkar. 9:30 pm; LUX Ultra Lounge, 5688 International Drive; $49-$199; 407-352-8838; bollywoodeve.com.

New Year’s Eve at Cuba Libre Featuring a live broadcast of the Times Square Ball Drop, live entertainment, a balloon drop, champagne toast and more. 10 pm; Cuba Libre, 9101 International Drive; $15-$50; 407-476-1847; cubalibrerestaurant.com.

New Year’s Eve at Howl at the Moon Complimentary champagne toast and party favors. Open bar packages available. 9 pm; Howl at the Moon Saloon, 8815 International Drive; $20-$65; 407-354-5999; howlatthemoon.com.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 40

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

39

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 39

New Year’s Eve at Liam Fitzpatrick’s DJs spinning throughout the night and Liam Fitzpatrick’s signature Shamrock Drop at midnight. 8 pm; Liam Fitzpatrick’s, 951 Market Promenade Ave., Lake Mary; free; 407-936-3782; liamfitzpatricks.com.

New Year’s Eve at Rachel’s Enjoy a steak dinner for two and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label in the plush confines of Casselberry’s best strip club. 7 pm; Rachel’s North, 401 E. Semoran Blvd., Casselberry; $125; 407-767-2977; rachelsnorth.com.

New Year’s Eve at Southern Nights New Year’s Eve blowout with drag shows, burlesque, all-you-can-drink packages and more. 9 pm; Southern Nights, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; $15$250; 407-412-5039; southernnightsorl.com.

New Year’s Eve at the Social With Fiona, B8TA, Grape la Flame and John Q. 10 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1419; thesocial.org.

New Year’s Eve at Tier A Vegas-themed NYE celebration featuring music by Litboyz. 9 pm; Tier Nightclub, 20 E. Central Ave.; $29$111.50; 407-317-9129; tiernightclub.com.

New Year’s Eve at WhirlyDome Unlimited WhirlyBall and Laser Tag. 8 pm; WhirlyDome, 6464 International Drive; $25; whirlydome.com.

New Year’s Eve at World of Beer A buffetstyle dinner, a champagne toast, party favors and DJ Icon spinning the tunes. 9 pm; World of Beer – Dr. Phillips, 7800 Dr. Phillips Blvd.; $75-$100; 407-355-3315; worldofbeer.com.

New Year’s Eve at Stonewall Midnight snacks and drink specials all night long. 11 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888; stonewallorlando.com.

New Year’s Eve at Tanqueray’s Featuring live music by The Company. 10 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540; tanqueraysbar.com.

New Year’s Eve at Tapa Toro A five-course meal, champagne toast, open beer and wine bar, plus flamenco, samba and belly dancing entertainment. 10 pm-2 am; Tapa Toro, 8441 International Drive; $110; 407-226-2929; tapatoro.restaurant.

New Year’s Eve at the Abbey Complimentary champagne all night and the televised ball drop on the big screen. 10 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $17-$20; 407704-6261; abbeyorlando.com.

New Year’s Eve at the Copper Rocket Featuring rock music by Blonk and a champagne toast at midnight. 9 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-636-3171; letsmakeitathing.com.

New Year’s Eve at the Geek Easy Premiere DJs spin all night long. 9 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-332-9636; mygeekeasy.com.

New Year’s Eve at the Lucky Lure Featuring the Brown Bag Brass Band. 8 pm; The Lucky Lure, 1427 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-250-6949.

New Year’s Eve at the Parliament House DJs and drag performances featuring Bianca del Rio and Bob the Drag Queen. 7:30 pm; Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; $20-$75; 407425-7571; parliamenthouse.com.

New Years Eve Bash Bring on the New Year with circus arts and theater performances by Team Carnie. 9 pm-1 am; The Hourglass Brewery, 255 S. Ronald Reagan Blvd., Longwood; free; 407-262-0056.

New Year’s Eve Celebration Holiday music, plenty of adult beverages and delicious food await guests. Clarion Inn Lake Buena Vista, 8442 Palm Parkway, Lake Buena Vista; contact for price; 407-996-7300; clarionlbv.com.

New Year’s Eve Celebration Package at Sea World A four-course prix fixe dinner, souvenir group photo and reserved seating for Sea World’s fireworks show. 5:30 pm; SeaWorld, 7007 SeaWorld Drive; $199; 407-363-2613; seaworldparks.com.

New Year’s Eve Dine With Shamu Watch majestic whales while enjoying a menu of seasonal and sustainable items.

SeaWorld, 7007 SeaWorld Drive; $29-$99; 407-363-2613; seaworldparks.com.

New Year’s Eve Extravaganza Featuring a performance by the Matt Burke Band. 8 pm; Cafe DaVinci, 112 W. Georgia Ave., DeLand; $25; 386-873-2943; cafedavincideland.com.

New Year’s Eve on Wall Street A street-wide light show, outdoor dance party and the biggest countdown to 2017 in downtown Orlando.

8 pm; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court streets; $25-$100; 407-849-0471; wallstplaza.net.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 43

40

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

41

42

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 40

New Year’s Eve Party and Burlesque Show Entertainment provided by DJ Sisco and the Ladies of Black Garter Burlesque.

Free champagne toast. 8 pm; Wop’s Hops, 419 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; $15; 407-878-7819; facebook.com/wopshopsbrewingcompany.

New Year’s Eve Party at Taverna Opa A familystyle prix fixe meal with appetizers, lamb chops, surf and turf, a dessert station, a cigar and liquor lounge, belly dancers, fire shows, music and a champagne toast at midnight.

9 pm-2 am; Taverna Opa, 9101 International Drive; $65; 407-351-8660; opaorlando.com.

New Year’s Eve Show A 90-minute improv comedy show with a countdown to midnight and hors d’oeuvres. 10 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $14-$17; 407-648-0001; sak.com.

New Year’s Eve with Betty Fox The Betty Fox band rings in the New Year. Party favors, a champagne toast, and late night buffet from Fuel BBQ included. 9 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; $20; 407-328-4848; thealleyblues.com.

New Year’s Eve with the Living Deads Ring in the new year with horror/rockabilly band the Living Deads. 10 pm; Sloppy Taco Palace, 4892 S. Kirkman Road; contact for price; 407-574-6474.

New Year’s in the Neighborhood Happy hour-priced drinks all night long, along with a special NYE menu. 4 pm; Crafted Block and Brew, 2417 Hiawassee Road; various menu prices; 407-601-6887; craftedorlando.com.

New Year’s Masquerade Ball Reserved seating and open bar packages available. 8 pm; Icebar Orlando, 8967 International Drive; $25-$125; 407-426-7555; icebarorlando.com.

New Year’s State of Mind A NYE celebration with a Times Square theme. Featuring music by Arsonist, Tr3mendo, and DJ Nice 1. 8 pm; ONO Nightclub, 1 S. Orange Ave; $29-$84; 407-701-9875; ononightclub.com.

NYE at Bar B Ring in 2017 with an open bar. 7 pm; Bar B, 23 E. Central Blvd; $40$50; facebook.com/barborlando.

NYE Bash Featuring the Supervillains, Summerlong, the Problem Addicts, Trees of Life and Flag Man. 7 pm; West End Trading Company, 202 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; $12$15; 407-322-7475; drinkatwestend.com.

NYE Blue 2017 A casino-themed New Year’s Eve party with live entertainment, a balloon drop and a champagne toast at midnight. VIP packages available. 8 pm; Blue Martini, 9101 International Drive; $70; 407-447-2583; bluemartinilounge.com.

NYE Dark & Fancy Affair at the Falcon Sounds

by Uberbahn’s DJ NM, a complimentary champagne toast and a goth vibe to say goodbye to 2016. 9 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060; thefalconbar.com.

O Town Social New Year’s Eve Latin dancing all night long with salsa and bachata classes. VIP packages and table reservations available. 8 pm; DGBEK Studios, 4677 LB McLeod Road; $15; otownsocial.com.

Oblivion Taproom New Year’s Eve Party 1920s-themed end-of-the-year bash. Costume contest and a champagne toast at midnight. 4 pm; Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-802-4800; obliviontaproom.com.

One Step Beyond New Year’s Eve Party Vinyl Arts Bar moves to a much bigger location for a private event with plenty of DJs, two dance floors, live art and a champagne toast at midnight. 10 pm; Vinyl Arts Bar, 75 E. Colonial Drive; contact for price; vinylartsbar.com.

Red Cypress New Year’s Eve Party The keg drops at midnight. Featuring live music

by Run Raquel and food from Papa Llama Pop Up. 7 pm; Red Cypress Brewery, 855 E. State Road 434, Winter Springs; free; 407-542-0341; redcypressbrewery.com.

Rock ’Til the Drop NYE party with music from Epic Evolve. 8 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $40-$175; 407-351-5483; hardrock.com.

Room 2 Rock NYE Party Live music from rock band Room 2. 9 pm; Dexter’s of Winter Park, 558 W. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-629-1150; dexwine.com.

Thornton Park New Years Eve Street Party New Year’s Eve party with music and a VIP section at the Veranda. 8 pm; Graffiti Junktion – Thornton Park, 900 E. Washington St.; $10-$100; 407-7657929; thorntonstreetblockparty.com.

Toast Upstairs and downstairs New Year’s Eve parties featuring specialty cocktails and a variety of live performances. 8 pm; Aloft Hotel Orlando Downtown, 500 S. Orange Ave.; $15-$45; 407-380-3500.

Will’s NYE Block Party Reverend Horton Heat, Jello Biafra, the Legendary Shack Shakers, Giddy Up Go, the Woolly Bushmen and more play at this indoor/ outdoor celebration. 7 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $25-$35; willspub.org.

WJRR’S Big Friggin’ Eve Featuring Sevendust, Red Rising and more. 8 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $42.50; 407-934-2583; houseofblues.com.

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

43

THEWEEK

submit your events to listings@orlandoweekly.com at least 12 days before print to have them included

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 28-TUESDAY, JAN. 3 COMPILED BY THADDEUS MCCOLLUM

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 28

CONCERTS/EVENTS Drew Yardis 9 pm-1 am; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-636-3171.

Eugene Snowden’s Ten Pints of Truth 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

The Getbye, BABYL, Lavola, Everlost 7 pm; DRIP, 8747 International Drive; $5; 347-855-3747.

Le BLORR, Saskatchewan, Fay Roy, Tiger Fawn 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $8.

Reggae Night with Hor!zen and DJ Red I 10 pm; The Caboose, 1827 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-898-7733.

THURSDAY, DEC. 29

CONCERTS/EVENTS [MUSIC] Wage War Thursday at Will’s Pub Boris, Elias R. 10 pm; Bar B, 23 E. Central Blvd.; $15-$20.

Brian Hayes 7 pm; Maxine’s on Shine, 337 N. Shine Ave.; free; 407-674-6841.

Deadly Vipers, Golden Pelicans, Gamma Waves 9 pm; Uncle Lou’s, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-270-9104.

Hometeam New Year’s Rally Maddox Ranch, 2505 W. Bella Vista St., Lakeland; $95; 863-255-4817.

Man in the Mirror: Michael Jackson Tribute 7 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $8.75; 407-934-2583.

Melissa Crispo 9 pm-1 am; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-636-3171.

44

ORLANDO WEEKLY ●

PHOTO BY LINDSEY GRACE WHIDDON

The Roots 7:30 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $57.50$122.75; 407-934-2583.

Thursday Jazz Jams 8 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364.

Totally Karol, Vivian K, Fraidycat, Kayla Gordon 9 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $5; 407-228-0804.

Wage War, Adaliah, Old Again, Come and Rest 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $13-$15.

The Wilderness, Boxing at the Zoo, Captain of April, Sea of Surrender 8 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $10; 407-999-2570.

The Mellow Relics 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017 ● orlandoweekly.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 30

CONCERTS/EVENTS Classic Albums Live: Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here 7 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $16-$31; 407-351-5483.

Corey Smith 8 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $19$45.75; 407-934-2583.

Dr. K & Friends Blue Jazz 8 pm; Chef Eddie’s, 595 W. Church St.; free; 407-595-8494.

Floorplay: Frankie Alex & Trini D. 10 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; free; 407-999-2570.

Hometeam New Year’s Rally Maddox Ranch, 2505

W. Bella Vista St., Lakeland; $95; 863-255-4817.

Lost in Trancelation: Alex DiStefano, Suzy Solar, Robb Blak 9 pm; Bikkuri Lounge, 1919 E. Colonial Drive; $20; 407-970-1777.

New Years Eve Eve Bash 9 pm; Haven Lounge, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $7.

OTown Vibe 9 pm-1 am; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-636-3171.

Punk Rock Benefit Show: Will Brack, Bubble Boys, Destroy North America, Sacred Owls, the Prople, Bluesferbones 8 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-270-9104.

TMD 12_30_16: Blair Sound Design, Lunches of Punches, Wet Ware, Grief Point, Blond Deejay 10 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $1; 407-228-0804.

Togeth3r: Kevin Rangel, Renzo Ruiz, Midwayer & Lucid, Romny Castillo, Los Noize 10 pm; Vinyl Arts Bar, 75 E. Colonial Drive; free.

SATURDAY, DEC. 31

CONCERTS/EVENTS 10,000 Papercuts 8 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; contact for price; 407-657-9980.

Fiona, B8TA, Grape La Flame, John Q 10 pm; CONTINUED ON PAGE 47

Boris

Wine, Cheese & Chocolate Three great tastes that taste great together collide at this special tasting. Enjoy Quantum Leap’s favorite wines of 2016 paired with cheese selected by Tonda Corrente from La Femme du Fromage, capped off with selections of gourmet chocolates. 7-9 p.m. Wednesday; Quantum Leap Winery, 1312 Wilfred Drive; $50; quantumleapwinery.com

The Last Tumbleweed Comedy Show Oh no! Tom & Dan’s Tumbleweed Comedy Tour is ending? No, it’s just the last show of the year. Get it? Hosted by Tom & Dan staple Ross McCoy, this local comedy tour stops in

Koffin Kats

at Johnny’s Other Side. Hopefully the jokes

Jan. 20, 2017, at Backbooth

are better than that one. 8 p.m. Wednesday; Johnny’s Other Side, 1619 Michigan St.; free; tomanddan.com

Boris Practice your NYE dance moves when this superstar Miami-NYC DJ comes to town, spinning the best in techno and house. Boris has held residencies at famous New York City nightclubs like Pacha, Crobar and Roxy, and his Transmissions podcast is aired on 57 stations in 36 countries. It’s a big get for newish downtown spot Bar B, and a reason to keep an eye on them in the New Year. 10 p.m. Thursday; Bar B, 23 E. Central Blvd.; $15-$20; facebook.com/ barborlando

New Year’s Day Party Spacebar puts one together for the day after. Wake up early and enjoy champagne, black-eyed peas and free B.C. Powder for your hangover. Then hang out and work on another one while listening to tunes provided by DJ Mot, Andrew Spear (yes, that Andrew Spear), Brooklyn Dusty Fingers, Huggy, Nick Mariano and the Reverend. 11 a.m.

Sunday; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free; facebook.com/spacebarorlando

Riff Raff, Jan. 13, 2017, at Backbooth Engelbert Humperdinck, Jan. 14, 2017, at Bob Carr Theater Henry Rollins, Jan. 15, 2017, at the Plaza Live Mike Doughty, Wheatus, Jan. 19, 2017, at the Social Koffin Kats, Jan. 20, 2017, at Backbooth Kathleen Madigan, Jan. 21, 2017, at the Plaza Live Nonpoint, Jan. 22, 2017, at House of Blues Run the Jewels, Jan. 23, 2017, at the Beacham Reel Big Fish, AntiFlag, Jan. 25, 2017, at the Beacham Atmosphere, Jan. 26, 2017, at the Beacham Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine, Jan. 27, 2017, at the Beacham

Billy Joel, Jan. 27, 2017, at Amway Center

Dionne Warwick, Feb. 14, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

moe., Jan. 27, 2017, at the Plaza Live

The Piano Guys, Feb. 16, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

Florida Georgia Line, Jan. 28, 2017, at Amway Center

Gaelic Storm, Feb. 17, 2017, at the Plaza Live

Billy Crystal, Feb. 1, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

Colin Hay, Feb. 20, 2017, at the Plaza Live

Lily Tomlin, Feb. 4, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

AJR, Feb. 22, 2017, at the Social

Yonder Mountain String Band, G. Love and Special Sauce Feb. 8, 2017, at the Plaza Live

Devendra Banhart, Feb. 24, 2017, at the Beacham Smokey Robinson, March 3, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

Stevie Nicks & the Pretenders, March 21, 2017, at Amway Center St. Paul & the Broken Bones, March 23, 2017, at the Beacham The Menzingers, March 23-24, 2017, at the Social Brian Wilson, March 27, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center Steve Miller Band, March 31, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center Flaming Lips, April 3, 2017, at House of Blues Shovels & Rope, April 7, 2017, at the Beacham

Carbon Leaf, Feb. 9, 2017, at the Social

Dropkick Murphys, March 8, 2017, at House of Blues

Excision, Feb. 10, 2017, at House of Blues

Norah Jones, March 8, 2017, at Bob Carr Theater

Blind Pilot, Feb. 10, 2017, at the Beacham

You Blew It!, March 10-11, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

Red Hot Chili Peppers, April 26, 2017, at Amway Center

Andrea Bocelli, Feb. 11, 2017, at Amway Center

Bryan Ferry, March 12, 2017, at Hard Rock Live

Sheryl Crow, April 29, 2017, at Bob Carr Theater

Ariana Grande, April 15, 2017, at Amway Center

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

45

46

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 31

Fallout: New Year’s Eve EVENTS

Fans of the Fallout series of video games may recognize our current political situation – a thin-skinned man-baby president-elect destroying relations with China before he even gets into office – as oddly similar to the backstory to those games, where conflict between China and the United States results in an apocalyptic nuclear war.

The games take place roughly 200 years after that as-yet hypothetical cataclysm, but Cloak & Blaster is giving you the chance to celebrate the nuclear holocaust months before it actually happens. For New Year’s Eve, Cloak & Blaster is getting decked out in a wasteland theme. Costumes are highly encouraged, so break out your Vault Dweller jumpsuit or gas up your power armor. The soundtrack is inspired by the ’40s and ’50s jazz and pop that fills out the playlists of the Galaxy News and Diamond City radio stations. One of the more intriguing prospects for the party, however, is the special themed food menu. We’re hoping it’s not too literal, as neither 200-year-old Blamco Mac & Cheese nor crispy squirrel bits sound particularly appealing. Although we may as well get the post-apocalyptic palate tuned now rather than later. – Thaddeus McCollum 7 p.m. | The Cloak & Blaster, 875 Woodbury Road | 407-674-7435 | cloakandblaster.com | $10-$150

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 44

The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1419.

Hometeam New Year’s Rally Maddox Ranch, 2505 W. Bella Vista St., Lakeland; $95; 863-255-4817.

SUNDAY, JAN. 1

CONCERTS/EVENTS Hometeam New Year’s Rally Maddox Ranch, 2505 W. Bella Vista St., Lakeland; $95; 863-255-4817.

MONDAY, JAN. 2

TUESDAY, JAN. 3

CONCERTS/EVENTS

CONCERTS/EVENTS

Drool, Bad Example, Flamethrower 10 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; contact for price; 407-270-9104.

The Groove Orient 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Jazz Meets Motown Inc. 7-10 pm; Radisson Resort Orlando-Celebration, 2900 Parkway Blvd., Kissimmee; free; 407-747-7223.

Open Mic Hip-Hop 9:30 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364.

Jazz in the Courtyard with the DaVinci Jazz Experiment 7-9 pm; Cafe DaVinci, 112 W. Georgia Ave., DeLand; free; 386-873-2943.

Music Remembrance Jazz Trio 8 pm; Paradise Cove Restaurant and Bar, 4380 Carraway Place, Sanford; free.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 49

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

47

48

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

[FILM] An American Tail Friday at Orlando Public Library

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 47

Psykotribe, My Missing Half 8 pm; Haven Lounge, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $7.

Pucker Up, Radicalized Youth 9 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-270-9104.

Punk on the Patio: Pathos Pathos, Luvlost, A Wolf in the City 8 pm; The Patio, 14 W. Washington St.; $5; 407-354-1577.

Singer-Songwriter Open Mic 7:30 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364.

FILM An American Tail Part of the Orlando Public Library’s Winter Film Festival. Friday, 11 am; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

Bad Movie Club Dig into the depths of the film archives to find the worst movies ever made. Laugh at failed acting, tacky special effects, cheesy dialogue and choppy editing.

Wednesday, 6:45 pm; Alafaya Library, 12000 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

Doctor Who: The Return of Doctor Mysterio This year’s Christmas special follows the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) as he teams up with a New York superhero to battle brainswapping aliens with the aid of new companions. Thursday,

7 pm; multiple locations; $15.98; fathomevents.com.

Jackie An intimate portrait of Jackie Kennedy, played by Natalie Portman, in the days immediately after her husband was assassinated. Through Jan. 5, 2017; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

THEATER Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some!) What begins as an annual production of A Christmas Carol soon devolves into an irreverent look at several beloved holiday classics. Wednesday, 2 & 7:30 pm, Thursday-Friday, 7:30 pm; Margeson Theater, Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 812 E. Rollins St.; $13-$25; 407-4471700; orlandoshakes.org.

COMEDY Copper Rocket Comedy Open Mic Hosted by Vinny Santino and David Jolly. Sundays, 7 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-6363171; letsmakeitathing.com.

Drunken Monkey Open Mic Comedy open mic. Fridays, 8 pm; Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar, 444 N. Bumby Ave.; free; 407-893-4994; drunkenmonkeycoffee.com.

Jack’s Open Mic Comedy Night Open mic comedy night hosted

by Myke Herlihy. Tuesdays, Thursdays, 9 pm; Jack’s Pub & Grub, 5494 Central Florida Parkway; free; 407-787-3886.

The Last Tumbleweed Comedy Show Last show of the year.

Hosted by Ross McCoy. Wednesday, 7 pm; Johnny’s Other Side, 1619 Michigan St.; free; 407-894-6900; johnnysfillinstation.com.

Lethal Weapons Stand-up from Ken Miller and Pedro Lima.

Wednesday, 7 pm; Orlando Improv, 9101 International Drive; $8; 407-480-5233; theimprovorlando.com.

Open Mic Comedy With Craig Norberg Comedy open mic for aspiring comedians.

Sundays, 8 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-9753364; austinscoffee.com.

Other Bar Open Mic with Ken Miller Comedy open mic with rotating hosts. Mondays, 8 pm; The Other Bar, 18 Wall St.; free; 407-843-8595.

Roast of Jake Friend and Spyro Wednesday, 7 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $15-$25; 407704-6261; abbeyorlando.com.

Spacebar Comedy Showcase Orlando’s best local stand-up comedians. Hosted by Joe Chlapowski. Wednesday, 8 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-228-0804.

Tom Segura Thursday, 7 pm, Friday, 6:30 & 9:45 pm and Saturday, 6 pm; Orlando Improv, 9101 International Drive; $25; 407-480-5233; theimprovorlando.com.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 51

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

49

— DON’T MISS —

DRINK & SHOP

LOCAL

Drink Around The Hood

AROUND IVANHOE VILLAGE

1/18

3RD WEDNESDAY OF EVERY MONTH

6PM - 9PM

— g e t you r —

$15 WRISTBAND ( Gets you a drink sample at every stop )

— now at — DRINK AROUNDTHE HOOD.COM

50

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

[FILM] Doctor Who: The Return of Doctor Mysterio Thursday at multiple theaters

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 49

DANCE

Crealdé School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-671-1886; crealde.org.

Dancing With the Stars Live This all-new production showcases every type of ballroom and modern dance seen on ABC’s hit show, including group performances, romantic duets, contemporary numbers and original pieces created specifically for the nationwide tour. Wednesday, 7:30 pm; Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $35-$79; 844-5132014; drphillipscenter.org.

The Art of Jennifer Payne Through Jan. 13, 2017; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; willspub.org.

ART

Celebrating 75 Years: Pathways of American Art Ongoing; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $6; 407645-5311; morsemuseum.org.

OPENINGS/EVENTS Art 101: Byzantine Art Learn about the art history of Byzantium and create your own piece of art inspired by famous mosaics. Registration required. Wednesday, 6:307:30 pm; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

Only In Florida Plants and animals that are native to Florida as seen through the photography of Paul Rebmann. Opens Tuesday, 7 pm; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; free; 407-246-2620; tarflower. fnpschapters.org.

CONTINUING THIS WEEK The Art of Fellowship in Photography and Ceramics & Sculpture Through Jan. 16, 2017;

Art Talk Saturday, 2-8 pm; Three Masks, 1023 W. Colonial Drive; free; 407-426-7355.

Artborne Annual Through Jan. 14, 2017; The Gallery at Avalon Island, 39 S. Magnolia Ave.; free; 850-461-0750.

Christie Miga Through Saturday; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

Contemporary Visions of Frantz Zéphirin: Haitian Mystic Through April 16, 2017; Albin Polasek Museum and Sculpture Gardens, 633 Osceola Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-647-6294.

The Conversation Continues Through Jan. 1, 2017; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $15; omart.org.

Doug Safranek: Both Sides of the Bridge Through Jan. 8, 2017; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org.

Ernest Trova: Visionary Through Jan. 8, 2017; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org.

Francis Luis Mora: A Legacy Reconsidered Through Jan. 8, 2017; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org.

Getting the Water Right: The Culture and Politics of Water in the Everglades Through Feb. 4, 2017; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Historic Threads Through Feb. 10, 2017; Art & History Museums - Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; $3; 407-539-2181.

John Petrey | Derek Gores: Marking 40 Years of the Rotary Arts Festival Through Saturday; Art & History Museums - Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; $3; 407-539-2181.

Natvar Bhavsar: The Dimension of Color Through Jan. 15, 2017; Museum of Art DeLand – Downtown, 100 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org.

North and South: Photographs of U.S. Route 1 Through Feb. 4, 2017; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State CONTINUED ON PAGE 52

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

51

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 51

College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Pen and Ink Through Jan. 14, 2017; Redefine Gallery, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

POP! Art Show Through Saturday; Dandelion Communitea Cafe, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-362-1864; dandelioncommunitea.com.

Small Things Considered Through Jan. 10, 2017; Arts on Douglas, 123 Douglas St., New Smyrna Beach; free; 386-428-1133.

Spinning Yarn: Storytelling Through Southern Art Through Jan. 14, 2017; Crealdé School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-671-1886; crealde.org.

Street Stories Through Jan. 14, 2017; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-6487060; markusrowntree.com.

52

Three American Sculptors: Alice Aycock | Deborah Butterfield | Barbara Sorensen Through Jan. 8, 2017; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; $5; 407-2464278; mennellomuseum.com.

Two Regimes Through Jan. 6, 2017; Holocaust Memorial Resource and Education Center, 851 N. Maitland Ave., Maitland; free; 407-6280555; holocaustedu.org.

Cocktails for a Cause Business casual mixer to raise money for Two Spirit Health Services.

Tuesday, 5:30 pm; Citrus Club, 255 S. Orange Ave.; $20; citrusclubyeb.com.

D&D Open Play Meet other players, fill in open slots at tables and play some D&D. Wednesday, 6-9 pm; Coliseum of Comics, Fashion Square Mall, 3201 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-228-1210; coliseumofcomics.com.

You Are My Sunshine Ongoing; Art of Healing Gallery at Florida Hospital – Altamonte, 601 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs; free; 407-303-5395; flhosp.com.

EVENTS Balls Deep Ball Bear and leather lovers social. Friday, 10 pm; Woodstock Orlando, 500 N. Orange Blossom Trail; $10; woodstockorlando.com.

Celebration of Holiday Blooms & Music Celebrate the season with time-honored poinsettia, amaryllis and bromeliad displays as well as a 15-foot

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

Christmas tree. Through Jan. 8, 2017; Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-676-1408; boktowergardens.org.

●

Drunken Problem Solving Bring a team to compete in a game of coming up with possible problems that the future may hold and then making creative solutions for them. Wednesday, 8 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; willspub.org.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 55

orlandoweekly.com

[MUSIC] Fiona Saturday at the Social

54

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

[COMEDY] Tom Segura Thursday-Saturday at Orlando Improv

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 52

Florida Citrus Parade One of the largest sportsaffiliated parades in the nation with signature floats made of citrus fruit. Reserved seating available. Thursday 11 am-1 pm; Downtown OrlandoRosalind Avenue, Rosalind Avenue and Robinson Street; free; floridacitrussports.com.

Light Up UCF Family-friendly winter wonderland featuring ice skating, rides, and holiday attractions. Sunday, noon-10 pm, Fridays, 5 pm-midnight, Saturdays, noon-midnight, Mondays-Thursdays, 12-11 pm; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; $10-$20; 407-8236363; lightupucf.com.

New Year’s Day Party Free black-eyed peas, champagne and B.C. powder, along with tunes from a stellar lineup of DJs. Sunday Jan. 1, 11 am; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-228-0804.

Wine, Cheese & Chocolate Enjoy Quantum’s best pairings of 2016. Wednesday 7 pm; Quantum Leap Winery, 1312 Wilfred Drive; $50; quantumleapwinery.com.

Winter in the Park Enjoy ice skating in the middle of Winter Park. Through Jan. 8, 2017; Central Park’s West Meadow, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; $12; cityofwinterpark.org.

LEARNING Conversational Spanish 101 Learn the basics of conversational Spanish. Thursdays, 12-1 pm; Maitland Public Library, 501 S. Maitland Ave., Maitland; free; 407-647-7700; maitlandpubliclibrary.org.

Pride, Prejudice & Protest: GLBT History of Greater Orlando This exhibit from the nonprofit GLBT History Museum of Central Florida shares the progress and setbacks of the Central Florida GLBT community over the past five decades of change. Through Jan. 26, 2017; Orange County Regional History Center, 65 E. Central Blvd.; $8; 407-836-8500; thehistorycenter.org.

LITERARY Diverse Word Spoken word open mic. Tuesdays, 8 pm; Dandelion Communitea Cafe, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-362-1864; dandelioncommunitea.com.

The Gift Slam Competitive poetry slam with a random gift exchange for poets.

Thursday, 8 pm; The Milk Bar, 2424 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-4954.

Loose Lips: The January Edition Readings from Jesse Bradley, Alexa Lemoine, Jared Silvia and Mistie Watkins about current events. Tuesday, 8 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; willspub.org.

Open Mic Poetry and Spoken Word Poetry and spoken word open mic.

Wednesdays, 8:30 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364; austinscoffee.com.

SPORTS Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl: LSU vs. Louisville NCAA college football.

Saturday, 11 am; Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $60-$260; 407-423-2476; campingworldstadium.com.

Orlando Magic vs. Charlotte Hornets NBA basketball.

Wednesday, 7 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $12-$216; 800-745-3000; amwaycenter.com.

Orlando Solar Bears vs.

Greenville Swamp Rabbits Ice hockey. Friday, 7 pm and Saturday, 7 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $12-$45; 800-745-3000; amwaycenter.com.

Orlando Solar Bears vs.

Manchester Monarchs Ice hockey. Tuesday, 7 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $12-$45; 800-745-3000; amwaycenter.com.

Russell Athletic Bowl West Virginia vs. Miami. Wednesday, 5:30 pm; Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $60-$260; 407-423-2476; russellathetlicbowl.com. ■ orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

55

56

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

B Y D A N S AVA G E

Are you looking for a new pet?

Adopt Noelle!

Earlier this month, we recorded our Savage Lovecast Christmas Spectacular live at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. The audience submitted questions on tiny cards before the show, which allowed questioners to remain anonymous and forced them to be succinct. More questions were submitted than my guests and I could get to, so I promised the crowd I would answer as many of their unanswered questions as I could in this week’s column. Here we go …

I’ve heard so many horror stories and seen countless X-rays online – any tips for making sure I don’t lose any objects in my ass?

You know what you never see in those X-rays? Butt plugs and other toys designed for butt play. Stick to butt plugs with flared bases, dildos with bases that look like balls, orange traffic cones, etc., and you’ll be fine.

Noelle (A366029) is 5 years old and is looking for a home. She is a little shy when you first meet her, but she’ll warm up to you quickly.

She walks well on a leash, loves to eat treats, and knows how to sit. Noelle also loves to run and play fetch! She is a very sweet and mellow dog.

In January, the adoption fee for pets will be reduced to $17 in honor of 2017. The standard adoption fee for dogs is $55. The adoption fee includes sterilization, vaccinations and a microchip.

Orange County Animal Services is located at 2769 Conroy Road, near the Mall at Millenia. The shelter is open from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday and from 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday. For more information, please call 407836-3111 or visit ocnetpets.com.

How common is it really for women to squirt? I get conflicting reports.

This answer, courtesy of the Kinsey Institute, isn’t likely to satisfy you: “Somewhere from 10 to 54 percent of women experience some type of fluid expulsion in tandem with sexual arousal and orgasm.” Maybe the incoming Trump administration can put the scientists they’re pulling off climate change onto female ejaculation and we’ll have better numbers before the 2018 midterm elections.

How do I get my partner – who says he’s into it – to top me “properly,” i.e., work me into a sub space instead of him just melting into an ooey-gooey love ball?

There are lots of terrific pro doms in Portland, Oregon. Hire one who’s up for showing your partner what proper topping looks like.

If he says it affectionately and occasionally, it’s not a problem and it’s not unusual. If he says it to degrade/humiliate/control you, it’s a problem and it’s unacceptable.

stigma). But the existence of a spouse must be disclosed sometime between the end of the first text exchange and the start of the first blow job.

How do white people talk to black people about Donald Trump?

My wife goes on long runs with her girlfriend. I’m sure they are having sex in the woods. I’m jealous because I’m not getting enough. What should I do?

Fifty-eight percent of white people voted for Trump, and 8 percent of black people voted for Trump. So yeah, maybe instead of talking to black people about Trump, white people should shut up and listen to black people instead?

“Hall passes” don’t work for many women because they can’t orgasm when having random sex once with a random guy. What alternative would you recommend?

Where is it written on your hall pass – or anyone else’s – that it can be used only with complete strangers? Nowhere, that’s where.

How do you propose a foursome with your longtime friends without freaking them out or ruining the friendship?

Not proposing the foursome is the only way to avoid potentially freaking your friends out and ruining the friendship.

How do you decide who wins an argument in a same-sex relationship?

A sudden-death round of Golden Girls trivia.

All straight guys want to put it in your butt, but when you suggest eating it first, they run for the hills. How can I bridge this gap and get my ass eaten?

Date gay guys.

How do I avoid lesbian bed death?

Trans man and cis female, happily married, planning to get pregnant in the next five months. How do we break it to my wife’s family? Half of them don’t know I’m trans and will be carrying, and we don’t want to lie, but also we don’t want them to see us as anything other than just a couple.

Telling your partner’s family you’re trans isn’t going to decouple you. You’ll still be “just a couple,” it’s just that one of you is trans. Since you’re not going to be able to hide which one of you is pregnant – not in the Twitter/Instagram/Facebook era – the sooner you tell them, the sooner they’ll have their freakouts, and the sooner they’ll return to seeing you as the couple you always were and still are.

My partner/husband of 40 years says I still embarrass him. Is this unusual?

“ R E VO LU T I O N H A L L”

Date gay guys.

I’m in a FMF poly triad, and I’m looking to incorporate another guy into the mix.

I’d look online, but I’m a public-school teacher in a small town. How do I find someone without outing myself and risking my career?

Ask your partners to do the headhunting.

Get your own “running” partner.

I’m four months pregnant. My husband won’t stop talking about how excited he is to taste my breast milk. I said he could try it from a bottle, but he wants it from the source. I want to be GGG, but this weirds me out.

Tell your husband you’re going to table this topic for the time being. It’s possible you’ll be less weirded out by the idea once you’re actually breast-feeding, or the opposite is also a possibility. But pestering you about it for the next five months isn’t going to increase his chances of getting it from the source – quite the opposite. (And for the record: You can be GGG and still have hard limits/absolutely nots.)

I’m a 25-year-old gay man who doesn’t resonate with hookup culture. If I’m not comfortable fucking right away, how can I compete/find a partner?

I get your question all the time – which means you’re not alone. Be up front about what you are willing to do (fuck after a getting-to-know-you date or two) and what you are not willing to do (fuck after a “’sup?” or two), and you’ll scare off the wrong-for-you boys and attract the right-for-you boys.

I’m too broken. I don’t know where to start.

Therapy.

Not a question, but a thank-you for helping me to undo my “Utah damage.”

Grateful for you, Dan! Merry Xmas!

You’re welcome, former Utahan, a belated Merry Xmess to you, and a happy/watchful/ politically-engaged/join-the-resistance New Year to all!

On the Lovecast, Dan Savage and the brilliant Randy Rainbow: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net

If you’re married and in an open relationship, do you need to include that info in your Tinder profile? Or can you wait until later?

You should include/disclose that info in your profile (best practice), but many similarly situated men choose to wait until later (understandable practice, considering the orlandoweekly.com ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

57

58

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

orlandoweekly.com

Marketplace Misc.

ORLANDO GUITAR EXPO Jan 28, 29th at Central FL Fairgrounds 4603 West Colonial Dr, Orlando buy - sell - trade 850-962-4434 or guitarexpo.net

Cash for cars and trucks Running or not Any Condition 352-771-6191.

Roomates ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com!

(AAN CAN).

HOME FOR SALE

4b/2b house for sale as is at Raleigh St / Gore for $85,000.

Call 347-419-6990

Health, Beauty & Fitness 48 PILLS + 4 FREE! VIAGRA 100MG/ CIALIS 20mg Free Pills!

No hassle, Discreet Shipping.

Save Now. Call Today 1-877621-7013 (AAN CAN)

Legal, Public Notices NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE PERSONAL PROPERTY OF THE FOLLOWING TENANTS WILL BE SOLD FOR CASH TO SATISFY RENTAL LIENS IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE FACILITY ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807.

CONTENTS MAY INCLUDE KITCHEN, HOUSEHOLD ITEMS, BEDDING, TOYS, GAMES, PACKED CARTONS, FURNITURE, TOOLS, TRUCKS, CARS, ETC. THERE’S NO TITLE FOR VEHICLES SOLD AT LIEN SALE. OWNERS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BID ON UNITS. LIEN SALE TO BE HELD ONLINE WEDNESDAY JANUARY 11, 2017 AT THE TIMES INDICATED BELOW. VIEWING AND BIDDING WILL ONLY BE AVAILABLE ONLINE AT www.storagetreasures.com BEGINNING AT LEAST 5 DAYS PRIOR TO THE SCHEDULED SALE DATE AND TIME. www.personalministorage.com PERSONAL MINI STORAGE FORSYTH - 2875 FORSYTH RD. WINTER PARK, FL 32792 - AT 10:00AM: #50- Alex Garcia; #98- Shawn Feldt; #118- Donavon Feilds; #236- Reginald G Williams; #258- Jason Gaspard; #383- Ebony

Lynn Owensby; #422 -Ricardo Dasilva 1983 Suzu motorcycle vin #JS1GP51A7D2105105; #468Richard Vincent; #480 Tyrian Dominique Reed; #579- Lycia Agosto FSI - 3941 Forsyth Rd Winter Park Fl 32792 - #B3- Go Pro David Serafine; #B27- Go Pro David Serafine MICHIGAN MINI STORAGE - 200 W. MICHIGAN ST ORLANDO, FL 32806 - AT 10:30AM: #32-Amber Bandy; #127-Dann Benjamin; #187-Andrea Collins; #191-Nancy Nixon PERSONAL MINI STORAGE LAKE FAIRVIEW - 4252 N ORANGE BLOSSOM TR. ORLANDO FL 32804 - AT 11:00AM: #130-Sabillon,Kristine Marie; #156-Rice,Heather Renea; #158-McGee,Shirley Ann; #254-Whitfield,Shaneria; #272-Wright,Sheila Dawson; #293-Semones,Kristy Lynn; #299-Ferrer,Nelsie; #337-Williams,Cordney Shantel; #359-Salas,Glyzedna Muriel; #472-Shiver,Michael C; #483-Dorner,Joyce Johnson; #739-Halaas, Barbara Jean; #802-Lewis,Lisandra; #804-Semones,Kristy Lynn; #908-Arroyo,Karina; #930-Echevarria Flores,Adolfo Alberto;#936Sears,Heather Fawn PERSONAL MINI STORAGE WEST - 4600 OLD WINTER GARDEN RD. ORLANDO FL 32811 AT 11:30AM #4-Dorcas L Shorter; #77-Leonard N Humphries; #140-Lenise S Banks; #155-Tchavian L Smith; #170-Michael L Gonzales; #212-Maya P Franklin; #218 Isaac J Carnagie; #272-Pa’La Kunisha S Slones; #276-Anita I Narcisse; #284-Ernesto Velez Rodriguez; #312-Uarsula U Maeweather; #313-Richard T Travick; #327-Vergenia F Hair; #434-Tammi L Jones; #471-Arika R Frazier; #481-Dorothy Ingram; #486-Jamohn M Mack; #508-Donell C Frazier; #513-Marlene L Primm; #524-Cherie R Shuler; #543-Shelia C Gardener; #546-Daphine D Ford; #554-Seairra D Walker; #584-Kietta M Gamble; #586-Sammy Gamble; #591-Sheryl Williams; #614-Mary L Moore; #615-Wayne Bramwell; #620-Ronald T Marshall; #649-Renita T Boardman.

STATE OF MAINE, CUMBERLAND COUNTY, PROBATE COURT DOCKET NO: A-2016-089 In Re: J.L. Jen P. Pendergast and Daniel L. Pendergast, Petitioners, v. Chris C. Lyday, II, Respondent.

ORDER FOR SERVICE BY PUBLICATION This cause came to be heard on a motion of the Petitioners, whose address is 3 View Street, Brunswick, Maine 04011, for service by publication on Respondent. The petition to be served seeks the termination of parental rights of the Respondent in and to his daughter, Jayda Lyday.

An order terminating the parental rights of Chris C. Lyday, II would divest said Respondent of all legal rights, powers, privileges, immunities and obligations to each other as parent and child, except such inheritance rights as may exist, and divest Chris C. Lyday, II of all rights to receive notice of, participate in or object to adoption proceedings. Chris C. Lyday II is entitled to legal council in these termination proceedings and if said Chris C. Lyday, II wishes such representation but is unable to afford it, he should contact the Cumberland County Probate Court, which holds sessions at 142 Federal Street, Portland, Maine. The court finds that the above-named Respondent, Chris C. Lyday II cannot with due diligence be served by any of the prescribed methods of service and that his whereabouts are unknown and cannot be ascertained by reasonable and due diligence. IT IS HEREBY ORDERED that the Respondent shall appear and defend the cause and serve a response to the petition upon Petitioners on or before February 22, 2017 at 11:20 am. The Respondent is notified that if he shall fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against him for the relief demanded in the petition. His response should also be filed with the Cumberland County Probate Court, 142 Federal Street, Suite 125, Portland, Maine, 04101.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, that this Order be published in the Orlando Weekly, a weekly newspaper published in the Orlando, Florida area, once a week for three successive weeks on or before December 24,2016. Dated December 14, 2016. /s/ Joseph R. Mazziotti, Judge of Probate.

Legal, Public Notices IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 07 CASE NO.: DP14-334 IN THE INTEREST OF:N.A. DOB: 09/17/2016 MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: JEREMIAH BECKER, Address Unknown WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child, a copy of which is attached, you are hereby commanded to appear before the Honorable Judge Daniel P. Dawson on February 10, 2017 at 2:00 p.m., at Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. FAIL RE TO PERSONALL APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILDREN. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 15th day of December, 2016. This summons has been issued at the request of: Crystal Mincey, Esquire, FBN: 89158, Attorney for the State of Florida, Children’s Legal Services, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, Florida 32801, (407) 317-7643-Telephone, (407) 317-7126-Fax, Crystal.Mincey@ my amilies.com. CLER OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Jennifer Giles, Deputy Clerk (Court Seal).

If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, at 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone (407) 836-2303, not later than (7) days prior to the proceeding. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE: Pursuant to Florida Statute 713.78 on JANUARY 20, 2017 at 8am, Mi e’s Towing, 141 Sharpe Rd., Apopka, FL will sell the following vehicle(s): 1990 FORD VIN #1FDKE37M6LHA88557. Seller reserves the right to bid and to refuse any/all bids. Sold as is, no warranty. Terms Cash.

60

LOST OR ABANDONED PROPERTY FOUND OR RECOVERED WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS OF ORLANDO, FLORIDA. PROPERTY NOT CLAIMED WILL EITHER BE SURRENDERED TO THE FINDERS OR RETAINED FOR USE BY THE DEPARTMENT. CITY LIMITS OF ORLANDO, FLORIDA PICTURE IDENTIFICATION IS REQUIRED. DECEMBER 2016 1. CELL PHONE S 500 BLK HARWOOD ST 2. GAME CONSOLES/CONTROLLERS/GPS 5000 BLK ERNST ST 3. CELL PHONE/CASE ORANGE/ WASHINGTON 4. CELL PHONE/CASE 4900 BLK COLONIAL DR 5. CELLPHONE/CASE HUGHEY AV/CHURCH 6. CELLPHONE/CASE S TAMPA AV 7. BIKE 5100 BLK I-DRIVE 8. BIKE 200 BLK S ORANGE AV 9. BIKE LK BREEZE/CLUBHOUSE 10. MONEY CONWAY RD 11. MONEY 2800 BLK S ORANGE AV 12. MONEY 4000 BLK S EMORAN BV 13. MONEY 300 BLK S OBT 14. MONEY 1700 BLK BOWEN DR FOR INFO CALL (407) 246-2445, MONDAYS – THRU- THURSDAYS, 8:00 AM TILL 4:30 PM

NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATIVE ACTION, STATE OF FLORIDA, OFFICE OF FINANCIAL REGULATION IN RE: FLEX CASH ADVANCE “LLC”, Administrative Proceeding Number: 68382 NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATIVE ACTION TO: FLEX CASH ADVANCE “LLC”, Attn: Kiril Stanev, 11455 S. Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, FL 32837 YOU ARE NOTIFIED that an Administrative Complaint has been filed against you and you are required to serve a copy of your written defenses, if any, to Petitioner’s attorney, Jennifer Blakeman, Assistant General Counsel, whose address is Office of Financial Regulation, 400 W. Robinson Street, S-225, Orlando, FL 32801 on or before 21 days following final publication of this notice and file the original with the clerk of this agency either before service on Petitioner’s attorney or immediately thereafter, otherwise a final order will be entered against you for the relief demanded in the Complaint: Agency Clerk, Office of Financial Regulation, P.O. Box 8050, Tallahassee, FL 32314-8050.

NOTICE OF SALE The following vehicle will be auctioned at A Reliable Towing, 2500 Forsyth Rd, Unit F7, Orlando FL 32807 on October 21, 2016 at 9:00 am: 07 Kia VIN: KNADE123076211929.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 07 CASE NO.: DP15-476 IN THE INTEREST OF:J.V. DOB: 11/06/2014, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: CARLOS SANTOS, Address Unknown WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child, a copy of which is attached, you are hereby commanded to appear before the Honorable Judge Daniel P. Dawson on February 1, 2017 at 9:30 a.m., at Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. FAIL RE TO PERSONALL APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILDREN. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 21st day of December, 2016. This summons has been issued at the request of: Jennifer Shepard, Esquire, FBN: 93027, Attorney for the State of Florida, Children’s Legal Services, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, Florida 32801, (407) 317-7643-Telephone, (407) 317-7126-Fax, Jennifer.Shepard@ my amilies.com. CLER OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Rochelle Marrero, Deputy Clerk (Court Seal).

If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, at 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone (407) 836-2303, not later than (7) days prior to the proceeding. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 07 CASE NO.: DP15-476 IN THE INTEREST OF:J.V. DOB: 11/06/2014, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO:SALOMAN PEREZ, Address Unknown WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child, a copy of which is attached, you are hereby commanded to appear before the Honorable Judge Daniel P. Dawson on February 1, 2017 at 9:30 a.m., at Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. FAIL RE TO PERSONALL APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILDREN. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 21st day of December, 2016. This summons has been issued at the request of: Jennifer Shepard, Esquire, FBN: 93027, Attorney for the State of Florida, Children’s Legal Services, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, Florida 32801, (407) 317-7643-Telephone, (407) 317-7126-Fax, Jennifer.Shepard@ my amilies.com. CLER OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Rochelle Marrero, Deputy Clerk (Court Seal).

If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, at 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone (407) 836-2303, not later than (7) days prior to the proceeding. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771.

NOTICE OF AUCTION Personal property of Eddie Englehart, Unit 25, will be sold for cash to satis y owner’s lien in accordance with Florida Statutes Self Storage Facility Act on January 14, 2017 at 8 AM. Property consists of car and truck parts. Sale to be held at premises of South Orlando MiniWarehouse, 414 Fairlane Avenue, Orlando, FL 32809

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE JANUARY 1, 2017 at 8:00AM at My Towing Company 1800 N Forsyth Rd., Orlando FL 32807.

Will sell the following vehicles to the highest bidder 2004 NISSAN VIN # 1N4BA41E34C870746 Term of the sale are cash. My Towing Company reserves the right to accept or reject any and all bids.

Vehicle sold as is, no warranty, no guarantee, no title.

orlandoweekly.com

NOTICE OF PUBLIC AUCTION FOR MONIES DUE ON STORAGE LOCKERS LOCATED AT UHAUL COMPANY FACILITIES. STORAGE LOCATIONS AND TIMES ARE LISTED BELOW. ALL GOODS SOLD ARE HOUSEHOLD CONTENTS, MISCELLANEOUS OR RECOVERED GOODS. ALL AUCTIONS ARE HELD TO SATISF OWNER’S LIEN FOR RENT AND FEES IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807, STARTS AT 8 am and RUNS CONTINUOUSLY. Uhaul Ctr Ocoee-11410 W. Colonial Drive-Ocoee 1/11/2017: 3478 & 1569 Jeffrey Mcdonough, 3304 Walter Smith, 1568 Michael Barrett, 1309 Rhonda Townsend-Abraham, 1214 Sabrina Flowers, 3107 Samaria Lewis, 1644 Karen Cappiello, 2217 Danny Penny, 1024 Al Cotter, 1204 Kevin Vanover, 3383 Jaset Pagan, 3338 Jonathan Brown Uhaul Stg Haines City-3307 Hwy 17-92 W-Haines City 1/11/2017: G0726 Paul Stehenson, G0783 Sheila Pergament, F0654 CJ Simpson, Uhaul Ctr Hunters Creek-13301 S. Orange Blossom Trail-Orlando 1/11/2017: 3112 Antonio Clemmons, 1047 Carlos Elias, 3028 Matthew Woodruff, 2327 Lisa Warmbier, 2083 Gregory Riegel, 3409 Jose Ramirez, 2054 & 2400 Tracey Boss, 3512 Dorothea Davis. 2057 Richard Campbell, 3012 Duane Jones, 3041 Kimberli Ramey, 2246 Keith Staten, 3160 Shane Arojado, 2105 Nikki Pugh, 1039 Tiffany Walker, 1518 Michelle L Bowens, 2222 & 1204 Mathew Singh, 3249 Teresa Spencer, 2042 Ruby Rodriguez 3305 Darleen Malave, 3100 Randy Lantigua, 2010 Louie Crossfield, 17 5 Jamesetta Wright, 3231-35 David Guzman Uhaul Stg Gatorland- 14651 Gatorland Dr-Orlando 1/11/2017: 742 Angel Magdaleno, 711 Braulha Carvalho, 402 Benjamin Lopez, 671 Tillis Churchill, 1207 Ruben Ramos, 368 John Eustace, 978 Paul Ramson, 550 Leah Mcqueary, 440 Robert Sensibaugh, 1010 Alice Brown, 519 Linda Ramos, 410 Latonya Mutter, 776 Rafael Curet, 885 Isamar Colon, 1022 Nydia Pacheco, 262 Hernan Figueroa, Haroldo Serafim.

NOTICE OF SALE The following vehicle will be auctioned at A Reliable Towing, 2500 Forsyth Rd, Unit F7, Orlando FL 32807 on June 29, 2016 at 9:00 am: 03 Hyundai VIN: KMHCG45C13U462157.

NOTICE OF SALE The following vehicles will be auctioned at A Reliable Towing, 2500 Forsyth Rd, Unit F7, Orlando FL 32807 on November 10, 2016 at 9:00 am: 03 Acura VIN: JH4DC54863C011446; 97 Saturn VIN:1G8ZK5275VZ137151.

NOTICE OF SALE Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale: 2000 Ford VIN# 3FAFP663XYM113933 2005 Saturn VIN# 1G8AM12F45Z168012 1991 Pontiac VIN# 1G2FS23E8ML245502 2000 Honda VIN# 1HGCG2249Y4016306 2002 Ford VIN# 1FAFP55U82A156109 2000 Dodge VIN# 2B6HB11Z9YK112925 2002 Mitsubishi VIN# JA3AJ26E12U043188 2003 BMW VIN# WBAEV33463KL79387 To be sold at auction at 8:00 a.m. on January 11, 2017, 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC

NOTICE OF SALE Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale.

2001 CHEVROLET VIN# 1G1ND52J616196966 2006 CHEVROLET VIN# 1GCFG15X661133494 1993 HONDA VIN# 1HGEG864XPL017702 2011 HONDA VIN# JHMZE2H35BS001234 2012 HYUNDAI VIN# 5NPEB4AC4CH499425 2012 VOLKSWAGEN VIN# WVWAB7AJ7CW294660 2003 FORD VIN# 1FDXF46P13EC66865 1999 FORD VIN# 1FDXF46F1XEE74628 1996 CHEVROLET VIN# 1GNCS13W2T2225713 2015 KAWASAKI VIN# JKAEX8B14FDA21132 To be sold at auction at 8:00AM on January 21st, 2017, at 2500 N. Forsyth rd, Orlando Fl 32807.

Around The Clock Towing inc.

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

61

OR L A N DOWEEKLY.COM/JOB S Employment Drive with Uber!

No experience is required, but you’ll need a martphone t’s fun and easy For more infor mation, call: 1 800 8 1 82

Inside Sales Assistant BILINGUAL Position available for Real Estate Sales - Located in Downtown Orlando. Need experienced outbound sales assistant.

Willing to learn and make money in real estate in the booming real estate business. Sales driven & Self motivated a plus. Duties/ Responsibilities: Make calls for Real Estate Investment Firm for services over the telephone. Deliver prepared sales talks, describe our products and services, persuade potential clients to sign with a well established Real Estate Invest Firm. This is an opportunity for a candidate to learn the business, get experience, and maybe acquire their RE license. Starting hourly rate of $9/hr. with bonuses. Send resumes, and any additional forms that make you the candidate for the job to the following email address: dortiz@privateequitysolutions.net

ite uitability ng for iemens nergy, nc Orlando, FL to prfrm anlysis of wind rsource othr dta to dev wind enrgy pr cts Req ach in ng or rel 2 yrs e p in ob o d or acc alt occ Prior e p mst incl crsft O ce nd Pro AsP AsP ng ind AutoCA rfr lbl ppr hndlng mltple wnd pr cts at sme tme wrkng in lrge, mltntionl corp wrkng w crss func teams Appro 20 trvl req O er of emplymnt w iemens cndtiond upon sccss cmpltion of bckground check drug screen, sub ect to applcble laws rgltions ail resumes: rett anche , iemens nergy, nc, 38 0 uadrangle lvd, : R 1 , Orlando, FL 3281 Ref ust be authr ed to wrk in prmnntly Central terile echnician ve nings Central Florida Regional ospital 1 1

PA A A C ake 1000 A eek ailing rochures From ome o perience Required elping home workers since 2001 enuine Opportunity tart mmediately www n come tation net AA CA

PA A A C ake 1000 A eek ailing rochures From ome o perience Required elping home workers since 2001 enuine Opportunity tart mmediately www n come tation net AA CA

62

Community evelopment Director City of Casselberry 1 03

hipping Clerk ytec ealer ervices 1 8 2

Paralegal niversal Orlando 1 8 3

lue

irect arketing As sociate eystone Financial Company 1 2 8

Procurement and rants an ager arly Learning Coalition of Orange County 1 8 0

Front Office Agent mbassy uites Orlando Lake uena ista outh 1 8

orkers Compensation Cus tomer ervice Rep Orlando Orthopaedic Center 1 8 8

an roup heatre sher niversal Orlando 1 8

Preschool eachers tarChild Academy 1 1

Cosmetologist Full ime alt isney orld Resort 1 1

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

olf Course Lead echnician illas of rand Cypress 1

Field ervices echnician ummit roadband 1 8 2

ousekeeping upervisor Rollins College 1 8 1

R

irector of ome ealth illage on the reen 1 8 3

emory

arket Coordinator Part ime ive ids he orld 1 833

ales

irector of ales ilton rand acations 1 1

tility ervice orker , treets City of Orlando 1 2

lectrician Ace taffing nc 1 3 38

ascular echnologist Osceola Regional edical Center 1 8

vent et p Overnight yatt Regency Orlando 1 2

●

orlandoweekly.com

irect upport Professional Part ime Apopka uest, nc 1 01

ousekeeper CA of Central Florida 1 2 2

Culinary Line Cook Full ime alt isney orld Resort 1 01

eneral anager iamond Resorts nternational 1 0

Clinical Applications pecialist Orlando ealth Physician As sociates 1 3

Certified Forklift Operators eam taffing ervices 1 8

ngineering ech P Fle ible hift Caribe Royale Orlando 1 8

nside elesales imeshare Professionals yndham acation Ownership 1 83

LOCAL R R A e your own boss Fle ible hours nlimited earning potential ust be 21 with valid driver’s license, insurance reliable vehicle 8 32 2 2 (AAN CAN)

MWH Constructors now Hiring!

Experienced Heavy Civil Carpenters, Underground Pipelayers, Heavy Equipment Operators, Construction General Laborers. Phone: 303-439-2839 Se Habla Español Email resumes to: Jesus.Ordonez@mwhglobal.com

anager Restaurant arriott nternational 1 33

enter job number to locate position

Faculty nstructors nteractive edia ntertainment he Los Angeles Film chool 1 831

Facilities Coordinator eminole tate College of Florida 1 832

Retail ales Associate Apparel Academy ports Outdoors 1 8

Facility irector, Oviedo CA of Central Florida 1 830

Lab pecialist C A3312 Character Rigging Full ail niversity 1 1 3

achinist C C Pro mage olutions 1 8 Case anager R ntervention ervices, nc 1 82

PO

arketing ntern pring emester OrlandoJobs com 1 181 nstallers FA

indows and oors ubcontractors indows oors 1 2

Press rake Operator Custom etal esigns nc 1 0 Fleet echanic upervisor County aterials Corporation 1

R

AC Foreman echanical ervices 1 3 1

eacher Community Coordinated Care for Children, nc 1

oftware ngineer niversity of Florida 1 8 2

aler Operator Central Florida Press 1

rainer y Florida Regional 1 301

Crewmember elaware orth Companies 1 300

anny

Child Care pecialist A Choice anny 1 2

ales anager Orlando eekly 1 2 1

iddle and igh chool ath eacher he Paragon chool 1 3 82

echnical Publication pecialist ProActive echnologies nc 1 0

r Pro ect Accountant Reedy Creek mprovement District 1 2 1

Florida

us river olphin ours 1 1

Cook ishwasher he OA O 1 02

rivers ransportation 1 00

Carpenters mart Ride 1 8 8

L

ield ecutive otelbeds 1 28

ice President of Operations ourico olidays nc 1 2

lectrical Pro ect Foreman uperintendent Randall echanical 1 2

river Performance Food ervice Roma Foods 1 0

orlandoweekly.com

●

DEC. 28, 2016-JAN. 3, 2017

●

ORLANDO WEEKLY

63