MetroTimes 03/29/2023

NEWS & VIEWS

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We received responses to editor our “New Detroit Music” cover story package.

Thank you so much metro!!! ������ !!!! —@problematicblackhottie, Instagram Humbled. —@marvwon, Instagram

Thank you Metro Times and @jeff_milo for the opportunity! ������ —@lilahkiskhalil, Instagram

They missed all my favorites (as expected) but I have heard good things about Checker. Need to check them out.

—Damian Dckya Regep, Facebook

This article is a GRADE A example of how NOT to write about me… The fact that my identity is mentioned more than my music, my artistic practice, my philosophy. Hell it’s mentioned more times than “harp”. To know that this is in print around metro detroit is so embarrassing. I spent 2 hours on the phone explaining my art practice what I think about the world. Being an artist in detroit and connecting it to the world at large. I had an ANALYSIS that contextualize my work.

—Ahya Simone, @idee_fixe_, Twitter

We understand where you’re coming from, and we’re truly sorry you were disappointed with the piece. —Lee

DeVito, editor

in chief

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reform slate had been in a holding pattern until the two runoffs got resolved. But now the Members United candidates claim a majority on the UAW leadership board, and the UAW is poised to enter a new era.

In a draft transition document obtained by the Detroit Free Press, Fain detailed his plans to dramatically “shake up” the union. “There is a new sheriff in town, something different is happening,” Fain wrote.

He added, “If we do this well, then heads are going to be spinning with how fast things are going to change … Some people will leave and we should make that as easy as possible for them.”

Fain also pointed out that U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders has been holding large rallies with labor leaders like Sean O’Brien, president of the United Brotherhood of Teamsters,

and Sara Nelson, president of the Association of Flight Attendants. Fain said the Sanders camp was interested in working together to hold rallies at auto plants.

“[We] are going to put an end to concessions and tiers, protect jobs, organize the South and make the Green New Deal a reality by unionizing the next generation of [electric vehicles],” Fain continued.

The leadership change at the UAW follows other pro-union developments. In Michigan, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer signed legislation repealing the state’s so-called “right-to-work” laws, which weakened unions by not requiring union members to pay dues. In recent years, workers across the country at large employers like Amazon and Starbucks have moved to form unions.

—Lee DeVito

Gov. Whitmer repeals

Court orders Crumbleys to stand trial for mass shooting at Oxford

JAMES AND JENNIFER

Crumbley must stand trial for the deadly mass shooting at Oxford High School, the Michigan Court of Appeals ruled Thursday.

The Crumbleys bought their then15-year-old son, Ethan Crumbley, a gun as a Christmas gift that he used to kill four of his classmates and wound seven others in November 2021.

The Crumbleys are charged with involuntary manslaughter.

Prosecutors allege the parents knew their son was troubled for years when they bought him the gun. They also failed to divulge that their son had a gun when they were called to the school after a teacher found a note that included a drawing of a gun, blood, and the words, “The thoughts won’t stop. Help me.”

troubled son a gun.

“One of the few reasonably foreseeable outcomes of failing to secure the firearm that was gifted to [Ethan Crumbley] was that it would be accessible to [Ethan Crumbley] and that, in his mentally deteriorated condition, he might use it in unlawful ways,” Judge Christopher Murray wrote. “We acknowledge defendants’ argument that no parent could reasonably foresee their child committing a mass shooting. But these issues are based on the facts and what is reasonably foreseeable under an objective standard, and the circumstances defendants were presented with on November 30, 2021, provided a heightened set of warnings that could lead a jury to find causation.”

‘right-to-work,’

restores prevailing wage law

GOV. GRETCHEN WHIT-

MER on Friday signed a package of pro-labor bills that restores prevailing wage for construction workers and repeals the state’s so-called “rightto-work” law that prevented union contracts from requiring membership fees as a condition of employment.

The bills are a major victory for the labor movement as Democrats continue to use their new majority in the Legislature to restore pro-worker laws that were by repealed by Republicans.

“Today, we are coming together to restore workers’ rights, protect Michiganders on the job, and grow Michigan’s middle class,” Whitmer said in a statement. “Michigan workers are the most talented and hardworking in the world and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. These bills will protect health and safety, ensuring healthcare workers can put patient care ahead of profit, construction workers can speak up when there’s a safety issue, and employees can call attention to food safety threats and other problems.”

The state Senate and House recently passed the bills along party lines.

Republicans repealed the state’s prevailing wage law in 2018. By reinstating it, Democrats have ensured union-level wages and benefits for workers on state-funded construction projects.

The legislation also repeals the state’s right-to-work law, which Re -

publicans passed in 2012. Supporters of the law said it was unfair to require employees to belong to a union.

Opponents argued that the law was intended to weaken unions by allowing non-union workers to benefit from union bargaining without paying dues.

“‘Right to work’ is a lie that has only hurt workers in our state and allowed some to benefit from union contracts without paying their fair share,” state Rep. Regina Weiss, D-Oak Park, said. “With this repeal, we are restoring workers’ rights to create a bargaining environment where workers and employers are equal.”

Labor leaders said the bills undo years of harm done by Republicans.

“After decades of anti-worker attacks, Michigan has restored the balance of power for working people by passing laws to protect their freedom to bargain for the good wages, good benefits, and safe workplaces they deserve,” Ron Bieber, President of Michigan AFL-CIO, said. “Ten years ago, Governor Whitmer was standing side by side with well over ten thousand working people who showed up in Lansing to protest the devastating attack on their rights. Today, she has demonstrated yet again her unwavering commitment to putting working families first. After decades of attacks on working people, it’s a new day in Michigan, and the future is bright.”

—Steve Neavling

Instead of taking their son home for the day, they urged school officials to keep him in class.

Their attorney argued there was not enough evidence to warrant a trial.

A three-judge panel of the Michigan Court of Appeals disagreed, saying there was probable cause to believe the Crumbleys could have foreseen the consequences of buying their

In October 2022, Ethan Crumbley pleaded guilty to 24 charges, including terrorism causing death and firstdegree murder. The 16-year-old faces up to life in prison.

The Crumbleys faces four charges of involuntary manslaughter for the deaths of Justin Shilling, 17; Madisyn Baldwin, 17; Tate Myre, 16; and Hana St. Juliana, 14.

—Steve Neavling

Man charged after brutally beating dog for chewing his Cartier sunglasses

A 29-YEAR-OLD DETROIT man accused of viciously beating a pit bull puppy and then dumping her in a garbage can outside his house because she had chewed his Cartier sunglasses was charged Thursday with animal torture and cruelty.

The man, whose identity will be released when a magistrate signs the warrant, faces up to seven years in prison on a felony count of seconddegree animal torture and a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty.

The man filmed himself beating the dog on March 15, and the video went viral on social media. By Monday, Detroit police became aware of the video and had identified the suspect a day later, when he was taken into custody.

The graphic video shows the man beating and shaking the crying dog until she was motionless. The man then dumped the severely injured puppy in a garbage can outside his house.

The dog survived, but her condition is not known.

“The alleged actions against the

defendant are extremely disturbing,” Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy said. “This case will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

The Michigan Humane began investigating the beating on March 16 and said it was working in conjunction with Detroit police.

Cartier glasses are a status symbol in Detroit and have been an in-demand fashion item in the city for more than three decades.

They’ve also been a flashpoint for violence. Between 2012 and 2016, Cartier glasses were the motivation behind a wave of violent crime in Detroit, including nine homicides, 17 non-fatal shootings, and 2,158 robberies.

In May 2019, a teenager was shot and killed for his Cartier C Decor glasses at a gas station on the city’s east side.

In 2019, Kash Doll gifted Big Sean a pair of Cartier glasses, “Big Gretch” found herself offered a pair in 2020, and in 2021, Detroit Piston Cade Cunningham whipped out a pair after he was drafted to the team.

—Steve Neavling

En route to Detroit and everywhere else, the touring Bruce Springsteen stopped last week for a non-concert gig in Washington, D.C., to accept a “National Medal of the Arts” from President Joe Biden.

Corny Uncle Joe called him “a ‘Joisey Boy’” and he hinted at his own potential re-election bid by referring to a Springsteen song.

“Bruce,” the President said, “some people are just ‘Born to Run,’ man.”

Biden then presented a large, gold medallion to Springsteen, who wore a dark suit and a large smile while a narrator read a proclamation.

“For his extraordinary contributions to the American songbook — and for being ‘The Boss,’” said the proclamation to cheers, laughter, and “Bruuuuuce!” sounds in the East Room of the White House.

“One of our greatest performers and story-tellers,” the proclamation continued, “Bruce Springsteen’s music celebrates our triumphs, heals our wounds and gives us hope, capturing the unyielding spirit of what it means to be American.”

After the ceremony, Biden, Springsteen, and the other honorees filed out to an instrumental of a signature Springsteen song, “Born in the USA.”

With all the flags and the portrait of George Washington in the room, you could almost imagine “Born in the USA”

Lapointe

By Joe Lapointe

as an alternate national anthem, celebratory and proud. Ronald Reagan tried this trick with this song back in his 1984 re-election campaign.

But the storyline of the lyrics reveals the lament of a disillusioned war veteran with blue-collar employment problems. Springsteen themes sometimes echo Woody Guthrie with mixed messages about the United States.

“Born down in a dead-man’s town . . . I’m a long-gone Daddy in the USA.“

At age 73, for the first time since April of 2016, Springsteen will perform in metro Detroit on Wednesday at Little Caesars Arena.

This is the first quarter of Springsteen’s long, punishing, and lucrative tour of North America and Europe through most of 2023. So far, he’s hit at least two potholes, one involving health, another the price of tickets.

Early in the tour, some members of Springsteen’s 18-piece “E Street Band” missed shows due to COVID-19. And early this month, three shows were postponed due to a vague “illness” that affected some unknown person. (Take your guess).

Upon his return, Springsteen looked fit and energetic, but his age puts him in one of COVID’s danger zones.

And part of his current show deals with death, with songs like “Ghosts,” about deceased members of the E Street Band, and “Last Man Standing,” about

himself as the final living member of his first teenage garage band, “The Castilles.”

“Springsteen has done the impossible,” the Asbury Park Press wrote after he performed in Philadelphia. “He’s constructed a show about mortality that feels like a party.”

Another requiem on this tour has a Detroit connection: “Night Shift,” a cover of the Motown hit by the Commodores about the deaths of Marvin Gaye and Jackie Wilson. It’s from Only the Strong Survive, Springsteen’s current album of covers.

Other Detroit hooks on this CD include Springsteen’s versions of “I Wish It Would Rain” (Temptations), “What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted” (Jimmy Ruffin), “Don’t Play That Song” (Aretha Franklin), and “Someday We’ll Be Together” (Diana Ross and the Supremes).

Might Springsteen perform one or more of these for the Motor City? Perhaps. A crowd pleaser who reads a room well, Springsteen — in Boston — kicked off his encore with “Dirty Water” by the Standells.

“Down by the banks of the River Charles . . . Boston you’re my home.”

And maybe Springsteen will dust off his old “Detroit Medley” of tunes by Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels. Back in 1975 — only 48 years ago! — he played it to open his encore at the downtown Michigan Palace.

Last time around here, at the other

Palace (in Auburn Hills), Springsteen brought out Bob Seger (arguably the Michigan version of Springsteen) to bang a tambourine and sing backup for the closers of “Tenth Avenue FreezeOut” and “Shout!”

Come what may, I’ll be there Wednesday at the LCA to see and hear him, with my $350 Ticketmaster ticket (plus $60.30 in extra, added “fees”) to sit in the upper level.

At this modest price, I’m one of the lucky ones. This tour — among others recently — has exposed how sales of entertainment tickets have been rigged into a ripoff plateau through market manipulation.

Once illegal, ticket scalping is now legitimate as “dynamic pricing” and the costs grow as the tickets pass through connected brokers and speculators on internet sites. They usually add the extra “fees” after you’ve decided to click for your ticket.

When some Springsteen prices reached $5,000, even the Springsteen fanzine Backstreets Magazine wrote: “Too many Springsteen fans got thrown to the wolves.” According to Rolling Stone, the company Live Nation holds a near monopoly over live music and Ticketmaster controls 80% of concert venues.

Perhaps, on his White House visit, Springsteen could have mentioned something to Biden about antitrust laws and consumer protection.

This will be at least my tenth Springsteen show. I can’t help it. I lived 20 good years in New Jersey, where you automatically get your drivers’ license, your plates for your car, and your Springsteen tickets. (And in Jersey, they tend to pronounce it more like “Jezzy” than “Joisey.”)

In Jersey, every citizen is somehow connected to the E Street band. “My sister’s next-door neighbor is the hairdresser for the wife of the main roadie!” That sort of thing. And Springsteen’s such a Jersey guy that he testified righteously to his state’s musical history.

When Stephen Colbert asked Springsteen what song he’d want to hear if he could hear only one song for the rest of his life, The Boss chose “Summer Wind,” by Frank Sinatra, the Chairman of the Board, another Jersey guy who sang some songs, too.

Had anyone asked me the same question, I would have requested “Summer Wind” second behind Springsteen’s live recording of a Tom Waits song called “Jersey Girl.”

“’Cause down the Shore everything’s all right / You and your baby on a Saturday night . . . “

And if you’re reading this, Boss, please feel free to sing “Jersey Girl” in Detroit for a Michigan guy.

Shoot, if you do, I’ll even pay another extra “fee.”

The Boss springs back — but at these prices, do you still get your money’s worth?

Despite illnesses, deaths, and aging, Bruce Springsteen is no gloomy boomer.

SHUTTERSTOCK

Fri 03/31

PHIL PROFITT & HIS FAST FORTUNES/MATT BASTERDSON/ JO SERRAPERE & THE LAFAWNDAS

Doors@9pm/$5 Cover

FIREBALL FRIDAY’S!

$5 FIREBALL SHOTS ALL DAY!

Sat 04/01

PARKHOUSE NIGHT

FUNK/SOUL/HOUSE/HIP HOP DJ’S

Doors@9pm/$5 Cover

Mon 04/03

FREE POOL ALL DAY

Tues 04/04 B.Y.O.R.

BRING YOUR OWN RECORDS (WEEKLY)

Open Decks @9pm/NO COVER IG: @byor_tuesdays_old_miami

Thurs 04/06

COME PARTY WITH US ON TIGER’S OPENING DAY!

GAME TIME 1:10 PM VS. BOSTON RED SOX PATIO BAR OPEN DRINK SPECIALS & LIQUOR PROMOS!

Coming Up:

4/07 BEACH DAY/TWIN DEER/ ANIMAL SCREAM/ZACK KEIM

4/08 BANGERZ & JAMZ (MONTHLY)

4/14 DJ SKEEZ & DJ BET

4/15 QUASI KINGS: ONE WAY SPRING TOUR/ WSG LEAVING LIFTED

4/19 DANNY OVERSTREET DAY

4/21 NICOLE BOGGS & THE REEL (NASHVILLE)

4/22 PATRICK DEEGAN RECORD RELEASE

4/28 GRAND SNAKE/BIG LIFE/ HUMAN SKULL/MIDDLE OUT

4/29 BRENDA/TOEHEADS/FEN CLUB/ BROOD X (CLEVELAND)

JELLO SHOTS always $1

Old Miami tees & hoodies available for purchase!

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EMPLOYMENT

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Controller Test Engineer (CTE), Milford, MI, General Motors. Verify & validate embedded intelligent brake ECUs in electrified chassis syss for conventional ICE psgr vehicles, BEVs & AVs. Dvlp controls test plans & procedures, using automated test procedures that can be run on dSPACE SCALEXIO & PHS bus multi-processor HIL & SIL test benches & in vehicles. Perform embedded ECU testing on Electronic & Secondary Braking Control Module, using dSPACE HIL, GM Sim (SIL) ETAS INCA, ETAS MDA, Vehicle Spy Pro, Vector CANalyzer, Vector CANape, & Vector CANoe tools, & Vector CANCase, neoVI FIRE2, & Lauterbach HW, to verify functionality at Function, Controller & Sys levels prior to production intent release. Execute verification & validation testing on time & w/ qlty to meet prgrm milestones. Provide validation status to leadership & appropriate prgrm teams. Master, Electrical, Mechanical, Automotive Engrg, or related. 6 mos exp as Engineer, performing embedded ECU testing on module, using ETAS INCA, Vehicle Spy, & Vector tools, to verify functionality at Function, Controller & Sys levels prior to production intent release, or related. Mail resume to Ref#24528, GM Global Mobility, 300 Renaissance Center, MC:482-C32-C66, Detroit, MI 48265.

Where’d they

go?

Black Detroiters are fleeingthecityat analarmingrate

BY STEVE NEAVLING

Marcus Carey feels “perpetually stuck.”

Despite having a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Howard University and plenty of experience in real estate, finance, and tech, Carey can’t find a good job in Detroit.

“It’s tough to find opportunities in Detroit,” the 32-year-old tells Metro Times. “You’re always working class if you stay here.”

Living downtown, Carey sees the “sprawl, abandonment, and lack of density in the neighborhoods” and isn’t surprised people aren’t building wealth.

Carey suspects he’s going to leave Detroit soon, and he’s far from alone.

Since 2000, Detroit has lost about 295,000 Black residents, or 37.4% of its African American population. No other American city has lost more Black residents.

While Detroit’s white population declined by 44,300 between 2000 and 2010, it has since grown by more than 5,100. Its Hispanic and Asian populations have also grown.

Black people now account for 77.2% of the city’s overall population, compared to 82.2% in 2010, when Detroit had the highest percentage of Black residents in the country.

Gary, Indiana, and Jackson, Mississippi, now have larger shares of Black residents.

The statistics show a tale of two cities.

Whether it’s income, home ownership, or education, Black Detroiters are lagging behind white residents.

Over the last decade, the median income of white Detroiters rose 60%. For Black Detroiters, the increase was 8%, according to Detroit Future City, a think tank that develops strategies for a more equitable city.

The average income of a white Detroiter is $46,650, compared to $32,290 for a Black resident. The unemployment rate for Black Detroiters is 1.5 times higher than white residents.

In a recent report, Detroit Future City found that metro Detroit’s fastest-growing, well-paying jobs are disproportionately going to white workers. About 16% of Black workers in the region are in so-called growth occupations, compared to 26% of white workers.

Jobs are considered growth occupations if they are growing at the same or

higher rate than the region as a whole, pay at least a middle-class salary, have increased wages between 2014 and 2019, and employ at least 300 people. Most of the jobs pay more than $73,000 a year.

“What we’re seeing pretty consistently unfortunately is that the highest growth for Detoiters in terms of workforce is lower-wage jobs, which means the jobs that you would think of as middle wage or higher wage are not being occupied by Detroiters,” Anika Goss, CEO of Detroit Future City, tells Metro Times. “The jobs are either going to people who are moving here from other places or suburbanites. They are not Detroiters.”

White Detroiters are also far more likely to own a home than Black residents, even though many new white residents are renting newly developed lofts and apartments in Midtown and downtown. The average value of a white Detroiter’s home is $46,000 higher than a Black resident’s.

Black Detroiters are also more likely to be denied mortgages, regardless of their income level. Higherincome Black residents, for example, were denied a loan at a higher rate than moderate-income white applicants.

This is especially troubling for future generations because home ownership is considered the most effective way to build generational wealth.

Since Black Detroiters are spending a larger portion of their income on mortgages, it’s more difficult for them to save money, and their chance of getting foreclosed is much higher.

A disproportionate number of Black residents are also living in neighborhoods dominated by blight, abandonment, and crime. Many white residents, on the other hand, are moving to newly developed areas that receive a bulk of the city’s tax incentives, like downtown, Midtown, Corktown, and New Center.

The number of middle-class neighborhoods in Detroit

shrunk from 22 in 2010 to 11 in 2020, leaving longtime residents with fewer options to find a decent place to live.

“There is a lot of housing stock in Detroit, but it’s not always in neighborhoods that are stable or free from blight or crime. That’s a real challenge for us,” Goss says. “If you are surrounded by blight, it will detract from the value of your home.”

As a result of the inequities, many Black children are facing long odds of succeeding later in life. More than half of the city’s Black children live in poverty. About 20% of young adults who grow up in poverty end up poor in their 20s, according to the National Center for Children in Poverty.

Detroit’s Black population grew exponentially in the early and mid-1900s, lured by the bustling auto industry. But those fleeing Jim Crow laws in the south found themselves in similar situations in Detroit. They were largely relegated to substandard homes in segregated, overpopulated neighborhoods.

In the 1950s, when Detroit’s population peaked at nearly 2 million, Mayor Albert Cobo campaigned on a platform of “Negro removal” — a pledge to force Black people out of predominantly white neighborhoods and deny federal funding for Black housing projects.

In the mid-1950s, the construction of highways decimated the city’s historic Black communities, Black Bottom and Paradise Valley.

By the time federal civil rights laws banned racial discrimination in the 1960s, white people were fleeing the city for the suburbs, and the jobs followed, leaving behind a majority-Black population that lacked the resources to thrive.

Metro Times talked to 10 former Detroiters about why they left, where they went, and whether they have any regrets. Some moved to Detroit’s suburbs, but most landed out of the state in cities such as Atlanta, Washington, D.C., or Dallas. Some left because of violent crime or high car insurance. Many left for better job opportunities. They all found success elsewhere, and very few say they plan to move back.

Thriving in D.C.

Jessyka Faison was tired of watching the displacement of Black artists.

As a DJ who relied on a thriving nightlife, she watched in frustration as the creative space that catered to Black artists continued to shrink.

“I love my city and everything that came with it but I must say it’s been heartbreaking to watch the Black creative community lose their spaces to gentrification,” the 29-year-old says. “It really sucked the air out of everything I know. It’s heartbreaking. I feel really

small. What can you do? Every time you take two steps forward, you have to take three steps backward.”

In August 2021, Faison, also known as DJ Lauren Jay, moved to Washington, D.C. Within three months, she was booking her first gigs as a DJ. Since then, she’s had DJ residencies at a club and a restaurant.

While she struggled to get consistent gigs in Detroit, she says she’s thriving in Washington, D.C.

For Faison, it was demoralizing to see an influx of new people at the expense of longtime Detroiters. She pointed to the hundreds of millions of dollars in tax incentives to two white billionaire developers — Dan Gilbert and the Ilitch family — at a time when the city’s neighborhoods are struggling.

It was too much for her to watch.

“Detroiters are paying for themselves to be displaced,” Faison says. “It’s really unfair. A lot of people don’t even realize that their tax dollars are being used to push them out of the city that they know and love.”

In the meantime, Faison hopes to help Detroit’s creative scene by connecting artists to Washington, D.C. and vice-versa.

“Now it’s a goal of mine to return to the city to play, reconnect with those creatives, and build bridges to expand Detroit’s culture beyond the city limits,” she says.

Priced out of a high-rise

Carra Payne, a native Detroiter, moved back to the city from the suburbs in her early 20s with the goal of living near downtown.

It was 2006, and Gilbert and other developers had not yet gentrified downtown or the riverfront.

As a child, her mother often took her to downtown or Midtown to visit museums and other cultural institutions. Her hopes were high.

She abandoned her Ford Explorer and tried to rely on the bus system for transportation, which she quickly learned was underfunded and unreliable.

“It sucked. Let’s be serious,” she says.

For about $500 a month, she rented a studio apartment at the Pavilion, a highrise building in Lafayette Park. But after eight years, rent became too expensive, and like many Black residents in the building, she was forced to move.

She rented another apartment nearby, but rent was getting too expensive, so she moved back to Pontiac in 2015.

The experience frustrated her. She saw longtime Black residents leave and be replaced by wealthier, white people.

“When it finally came to a close, it really hurt,” Payne says. “It was aggressive. The message was resoundingly clear: I

was no longer eligible to be there. It was a disgusting feeling. In five or six years, downtown became unrecognizable. I couldn’t see my people anymore.”

Payne now lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma, but she hasn’t stopped thinking about Detroit.

“I miss it,” she says. “It was a dream to move to Detroit. Having experienced it was amazing.”

Following the money

Paris Dean had a big idea that could transform how people buy real estate. The 32-year-old founded Sparen Homes, which develops AI-powered software to improve the home-buying process.

All Dean needed was start-up money.

But when he began looking for investors in 2018, he wasn’t “getting any bites.”

After two frustrating years, Dean realized that the region’s deep pockets — predominantly belonging to white men — were either unwilling to invest in new people or were too focused on the auto industry.

“That was really my first taste when I realized it was difficult to do something different in Detroit,” Dean says. “A lot of those opportunities have gatekeepers. You have to know people. If you’re just the average, everyday person who is great at something, chances are you aren’t going to get anything.”

So he packed his bags in October 2021 and moved to Baltimore, where he quickly found success. He started working with Techstars, one of the world’s largest startup accelerators, and found more funding “than I can ask for.”

In Baltimore, he said, there’s “more opportunities and intellectual curiosity” than in Detroit.

“It was day and night compared to Detroit,” Dean says. “It’s kind of scary. The people are way more open. We were brought into an accelerator-friendly environment that is much bigger than anything in Detroit.”

With the help he needed, Sparen Homes ran a beta test and facilitated more than $112 million in transactions in Oakland and Macomb counties. The company is getting ready to relaunch in Michigan, Maryland, and Florida.

Despite the early success, Dean says he still can’t find any interest in Detroit.

“Everybody knows that Michigan is automotive-driven,” Dean says. “If you’re not in or around the automotive industry, the number of opportunities you have plummet.”

Downtown displacement

Callie Bradford left her job in the pharmaceutical industry to pursue her passions for healthy living.

She co-founded Go! Smoothies and

eventually operated out of a small shop in downtown Detroit. But her dream was dashed as developers like Gilbert and corporate retailers began to gobble up space, forcing out small business owners that couldn’t afford skyrocketing rent.

Bradford’s monthly rent rose from $1,500 to $6,000.

“We didn’t have any recourse because we were first-time business owners,” Bradford says. “You can’t pay $6,000 a month making juice and smoothies.”

Back in the market for a job, Bradford moved to Atlanta in 2019, where she says the opportunities were plentiful. She now works for an agency that does training and development for pharmaceuticals, and on the side, she does health coaching.

“When I moved to Atlanta, I realized there was such a diversity in jobs that were available,” she says. “You have so many companies with headquarters here. You can work in any type of job you want, whether it’s health care, IT, pharmaceuticals, or government. The opportunities are endless.”

In Detroit, she says, “you worked in government, a hospital, or one of the car companies or a subsidiary of the car companies.”

Bradford says she’s always bumping into former Detroiters in Atlanta.

“There are so many people here from Detroit,” Bradford says. “It’s like the Great Migration is backwards now.”

Never coming back

When Ralston D. Caldwell was in high school in Detroit, his teacher showed the class a photo that would change his life.

It was a picture of Arizona.

“It was beautiful,” Caldwell recalls. “I had never seen a desert before.”

When he joined the military, he chose to station at Luke Air Force Base in Maricopa County, Arizona, in 2004.

Eight years later, Caldwell, a licensed therapist, moved from Detroit to Arizona.

He was tired of the violence.

Then in November 2022, he received the worst news a father could get: His son was murdered in the doorway of a bar in Detroit, shot twice in the chest.

He had tried to get his son to move, but “he loved his kids, and he didn’t want to leave them.”

“Now his kids don’t have a dad,” Caldwell says.

Nearly every day, Caldwell says, he reads news online about violent crime in Detroit, where 309 people were murdered last year.

“These folks out there, they kill and they are never caught,” Caldwell says. “Who wants to live like that?”

Caldwell used to visit Detroit at least once a year, but he won’t anymore.

“I have no desire to ever go back,” he says. “Detroit is nowhere to live. It’s only somewhere to die.”

From bullets to Birmingham

The summer before Harriet Hardeman fled Detroit, a gunman on a bike opened fire a block away.

“I heard a bullet whiz through the trees above where my sons were playing,” she says.

Her two children weren’t even safe in the public schools, where she says fights were all too common.

In 2008, she and her sons packed up and moved to Birmingham in the suburbs, a decision that “improved our lives exponentially,” she says.

Their neighborhood was safe, and the school district helped her children excel.

The price of housing was more expensive than in Detroit, but everything else was cheaper, including her car insurance, which “went down hundreds of dollars a year.”

“I paid more in rent, but I paid less in everything else,” she says. “I would rather pay more for a house or apartment and have the amenities of a safer environment, and everything else I need is here. It’s worth it.”

Her youngest son, Jherrard, who showed promise with the violin shortly before they moved, began to shine.

In his first year at Birmingham Public Schools, he won a scholarship for the summer music program. He met other musicians — young and old — and even started a band, Integrated Strings Perfection, which played at coffee shops, the Birmingham Historical Museum, and other spots.

“It’s been a place where he formed positive friendships that will probably last a lifetime,” Hardeman says. “He always had a safe place.”

He later earned a degree in music composition from the prestigious Longy School of Music of Bard College in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Last year, he graduated from The Juilliard School, a world leader in performing arts education in New York City.

He’s now an assistant conductor at Chicago Sinfonietta and lives in Kansas City.

Harderman can’t imagine her son succeeding in the same way if they had stayed in Detroit, where the resources are far more scarce.

“If we’re really striving to make the world a better place, we have to start by making a better life for our kids,” she says. “We can’t give them the same horrible life we had.”

Hardeman still loves Detroit and hopes future leaders will work to im-

prove the city for everyone, not just the newcomers and wealthy developers.

“Someone has to make the decision that this is not how we are going to live, and they are going to need the support of the people who are in office,” she says. “I’m praying that someone steps into power and will step up for the people who are there.”

Getting her hustle on

Corzann “Cozy” Sailor remembers exactly when she decided to move out of Michigan.

It was November 2007, and she was pumping gas.

“It was really cold, and I had to stand outside,” Sailor recalls. “My fingers were frost bit. I said, ‘Hell, no, this is it. This is my last winter in Michigan,’ and I meant it, and it was.”

After receiving a degree in secondary education from Eastern Michigan University in 2003, Sailor returned to Detroit and had a hard time finding stable work. She began selling houses and condos for Pulte Homes, but the market was too unstable to provide a steady income.

In 2008, she moved to North Carolina and found plenty of job opportunities. She worked as a business consultant with AT&T until she decided she wanted to live in a bigger city.

She moved to Atlanta and worked as a franchise marketing consultant.

Now Sailor lives in Washington, D.C., working in real estate management and community development. She has three side gigs, which she credits to her time growing up in Detroit.

“Detroit builds up a hustle in you,” she says. “I always have a hustle going on.”

No matter where she lived outside of Michigan, she says she never had trouble finding a good job.

She doesn’t miss the crime, potholes, or high insurance rates.

Sailor isn’t the only member of her family to leave Detroit. When her sister was 19, she moved to New York City.

“That planted the seed for me that you can find better for yourself and more for yourself,” Sailor says. “She moved out because of crime. Her friends were killed. She was going to funerals every week.”

Where are the good jobs?

Employment was a constant frustration for Christopher Currie.

A native of Gary, Indiana, his relatives convinced him to move to Detroit in 1992 for better job opportunities.

But for the first few years, he could only find seasonal work. He finally caught a break in the late 1990s as an administrative assistant for a local

nonprofit. About 12 years later, he was laid off.

Rethinking his career choices, Currie received a radio broadcasting certificate from Specs Howard School of Media Arts in Southfield in 2011, but he later discovered that “radio jobs were hard to break into locally.”

He began working for the city’s health department but was laid off as Detroit faced bankruptcy.

In 2012, he received a bachelor’s degree in mass communication and thought his string of bad luck would end. But finding a good job — even with his degree — was difficult.

“I had a rather horrible time finding more sophisticated and better paying work,” Currie says. “I rarely had interviews, and even when I did have them, I was never offered the job.”

In 2018, Currie received a graduate degree in social justice studies but could only find work as a civilian desk assistant with the Detroit Police Department.

Despite sending out dozens of resumes, he couldn’t find better work.

Then a niece living in metro Dallas encouraged him to apply for a job where she worked. He ended up taking a job at the Texas health department. It was his first job that required a bachelor’s degree.

“I almost wanted to say it was a tough choice to leave Detroit and go across the country to Texas, but at the same time, I was experiencing so much career frustration over the years,” Currie says. “My mom would occasionally nudge me about trying to go for different auto jobs, and I would occasionally keep my eyes open. But assembly line work didn’t appeal to me that much. Those jobs weren’t something I seriously pursued.”

Currie says the exodus from Detroit will continue until the region begins relying less on the auto industry.

“I’m hoping for the best for Detroit and for the folks who are still there,” Currie says. “I do hope the city and regional leadership do get more corrective about employment and entrepreneur opportunities.”

Safety of the suburbs

Born and raised on the city’s east side, LaToya Thomson calls herself a “diehard Detroiter.” The 47-year-old loves the city’s restaurants, concert venues, and museums, but living in Detroit came at a heavy cost.

Crime, gas, and car insurance were too high, and getting groceries required a long trip to the suburbs.

“I wanted to be somewhere I felt safe and somewhere my parents weren’t worried about my safety,” she says.

On the hunt for a two-bedroom, twobathroom house, Thompson discovered

that homes in Macomb County were about the same price as the ones in Detroit.

In 2003, she moved to Warren and now lives in Harrison Township. Now, she lives close to two Meijers, a Kroeger, and a gourmet grocer.

She has no regrets.

“When I moved, I couldn’t believe how much my car insurance decreased,” Thompson says. “It dropped so much. It’s unbelievable.”

She still visits Detroit for the restaurants, concerts, and museums, but she loves the safety and solitude of Harrison Township.

She even convinced her parents to move to Macomb County.

Pursuing the dream

MuSHAD Moore is an actor with a dream of making it big.

And he knows he can’t do that in Detroit — not since former Gov. Rick Snyder ended the state’s film incentive program. Signed into law in 2008 by Gov. Jennifer Granholm, the program ushered in a wave of Hollywood productions in Michigan, including the Transformers films, Clint Eastwood’s Gran Torino, and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, among others. Snyder ended the program in 2015.

“That killed everything,” Moore says. After acting in local commercials, plays, and movies, the 29-year-old moved to Woodland Hills, a community on the edge of the Santa Monica Mountains in the San Fernando Valley of northern Los Angeles.

He’s since auditioned for Nope, Star Wars, and Disney shows.

“That’s why I came out,” Moore says. “That is what made it worth it. I would not have had that chance in Detroit. Out here, everyone is an actor.”

Moore says he doesn’t see a lot of opportunities for creative types in Detroit.

“Usually the career you want is not in Detroit,” Moore says. “If you want to work in a factory, you’re in the right spot. But if you’re doing artistic or entertainment stuff, that’s not really in Detroit.”

A Detroit native, Moore still misses the city, where his friends and family live. Getting used to California has been an adjustment.

“When you grow up in the hood, you get comfortable with hood stuff,” Moore says. “I’m used to being around my people and joking and laughing. Around here, I’m more of an outsider.”

But that’s the price of pursuing your dreams, he says.

“You move where you see bigger things happen,” Moore says. “Everybody wants to do something that Detroit is not known for, so they leave.”

WHAT’S GOING ON

Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check all venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.

MUSIC

Live/Concert

Wednesday, March 29

Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band 2023 Tour 7:30 p.m.; Little Caesars Arena, 2645 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $59.50-$399.50.

Funky Rivertown Fest: Dirk Kroll Band and Billy Brandt and the Sugarees 7:30-10:30 p.m.; Riverside Arts Center, 76 N. Huron St., Ypsilanti; $20.

Shwayze with Of Good Nature, Wide Eyed Kids 7 p.m.; Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., Ann Arbor; $18.

Sunami, MH Chaos, D-Bloc, Open Wound, Mean Mug 6 p.m.; Edgemen, 19757 15 Mile Rd., Clinton Twp;

Thursday, March 30

Blue Thursdays 8 p.m.; Cadieux Cafe, 4300 Cadieux Rd., Detroit; $5.

HomeGrown Sounds presents

Jesse Palter 6:30-9:30 p.m.; HomeGrown Brewing Co., 28 N. Washington St., Oxford; $25 advance / $30 at door.

KPOP CLUB NIGHT 8 p.m.; The Blind Pig, 208 S 1st St, Ann Arbor; $16.

Vision Video with Urban Heat 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $17.

Friday, March 31

3 Tributes - Metalica / Judas Priest / DIO 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $15. Ace of Wands (Toronto) w/ The Idiot Kids + DJ E.M. Allen 8 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.

An Evening with Third Eye Blind 8 p.m.; Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr., Windsor; $30-$75.

DVSN 8 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $35+.

Korby Lenker 8-10 p.m.; 20 Front Street, 20 Front St., Lake Orion; $20.

Mac Saturn with Until The Money Runs Out 7 p.m.; The Blind Pig, 208 S 1st St, Ann Arbor; $20.

Maddie & Tae 8 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $35-$48. Molchat Doma 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $29.50.

MOLLY HATCHET wsg The Stone Blossoms 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $25-$45.

Songwriter Showcase: Phoebe Holmes, Eric Smith, Taylor DeRousse, Steve Taylor 7-9 p.m.; Berkley Coffee & Oak Park Dry, 14661 West 11 Mile Rd., Oak Park; $10 suggested door.

The Beatles Album Club: Abbey Road, Let It Be 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $10.

The Last Ten Seconds Of Life, Vomit Forth, Cell, My Own Will 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff, Hamtramck; $15.

Who Is Jill Scott? 2023 Tour 8 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $49.75-$200.

Simon Doty 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $15.

Saturday, April 1

ADEL RUELAS ft. LUNA 8 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $20.

Angel of Mars w/ Bloody butterflies + DJ Marcie Bolen 8 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.

City Morgue: My Bloody America

Tour 7 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $30-$59.50.

Detroit - Dancefestopia Yellow Brick Road 8 p.m.; Tangent Gallery & Hastings Street Ballroom, 715 E. Milwaukee Ave., Detroit; 20.

Detroit Retro Society 7:30-10 p.m.; The Hawk - Farmington Hills Community Center, 29995 Twelve Mile Road, Farmington Hills; $25 in advance / $30 at the door.

Escuela Grind, Bonginator 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff, Hamtramck; $15.

Eva Under Fire with special guests Kaleido, Fatal Conceit 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $20-$25.

Mat Zo with Thay Rodrigues + Mike Gunn 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $18.

No Foolin’ It’s Chris Ayotte as Tom Jones, Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and many more 5:30 p.m.; Ancient Order of Hibernians, 25300 5 Mile Road, Redford Charter

Ann Arbor’s FoolMoon announces out-of-this-world details

ANN ARBOR’S 1TH annual FoolMoon festival is set to return to the streets of Kerrytown on Friday, April 7, and on Wednesday organizers announced new details for the event.

“With a theme of UFOs (unidentified foolish objects), guests will be transported to another galaxy, so let’s blast off!” organizers said.

As usual, the festival includes a procession of illuminated art installations, pop-up performances, and a dance party.

This year features a number of guest artists. Those include Allida Warn’s “Mahtava” (Finnish for “spectacular” or “awesome”), which organizers describe “a giant inflatable explosion with tendrils emerging from a pod that seems to breathe, dangling in the market, moving and changing colors to create joyful fun while the DJ and others jam out.”

Township; $20 advance, $25 at door.

Sugar: The Nu-Metal Party(18+) 8:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $16.

The 15th Annual Motor City Blues Festival 7 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $59-$125.

The Mega 80s 8 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.

Tribute to R.E.M. by DRIVER 8, Tribute to OASIS by MORNING GLORY 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $15.

Charles D 9 p.m.-2 a.m.; Leland City Club, 400 Bagley Street, Detroit; $20.

Sunday, April 2

Michigan Jazz Festival Spring Fundraiser Dave Bennett w Third Coast Swing 3-5 p.m.; VisTaT-

Another out-of-this-world installation is “WHOOPS!” by Carrie Beattie, which is described as “a spacecraft [that] has just foolishly crashed into a lab containing specimens of unidentified foolish origin.”

Performers include Yoda the Bard, Necto Nightclub’s resident DJ, who starts at 7 p.m. At 7:30 p.m., nationally competitive jump rope team Jumpin’ AllStars will perform and teach jump rope lessons with illuminated ropes.

The illuminated procession kicks off at 8:15 p.m. from two locations: the Ann Arbor District Library Downtown Branch (343 Fifth Ave.) and the Ann Arbor Farmers Market (4th Street side). It will be led by the Detroit Party Marching Band and Groove.

More information is available at assembli.us.

—Lee DeVito

ech Center at Schoolcraft College, 18600 Haggerty Road, Livonia; $25 advance, $30 at door.

Queensrÿche: The Digital Noise Alliance Tour 6:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $29.50.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, with Special Guests, Kingdom Collapse and 3REE 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.

Monday, April 3

Skeletal Remains, Mrsa, Convulsis 6 & 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff, Hamtramck; $16.

Tuesday Apr 4

Live/Concert

Combichrist, Esoterik 7 p.m.;

Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $27.

The Home Team 7 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $19.

Vader, Krisiun, Decrepit Birth, Nethergate 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff, Hamtramck; $25.

THEATER

Performance

Detroit Masonic Temple Library

Jo Koy; Saturday April 1, 6:30 & 8 p.m.

Detroit Public Theater They Did

It. Stage play about 11 rich black folks in the 1800s, a series of skits about their life with Booker T. Washington as narrator. Adapted from the book Black Business Book, written, directed, produced by Anthony Brogdon Tickets $30 in advance $40 at the door. Friday, March 31 and Saturday April 1, 2-4 & 7-9 p.m. and Sunday April 2, 2-4 & 7-9 p.m.

Meadow Brook Theatre Harry Townsend’s Last Stand. $37. Wednesday, 8 p.m., Thursday, 8 p.m., Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday April 1, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sunday April 2, 2 & 6:30 p.m.

The Music Box Detroit Symphony Orchestra. Friday, 8 p.m. and Saturday April 1, 8 p.m.

Open Book Theatre Company

For Peter Pan on her 70th Birthday. $30 for adults, $25 for seniors and $15 for students Friday, 8-10 p.m., Saturday April 1, 8-10 p.m. and Sunday April 2, 2-4 p.m.

Pontiac Little Art Theatre Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. $20 general, $10 students Thursday, 8 p.m., Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday April 1, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sunday April 2, 2 p.m.

Saint Andrew’s Hall Lyle the Therapy Gecko. $30 Wednesday 7:30 p.m.

Musical

Chicago the Musical (Touring)

Wednesday, 8 p.m., Thursday, 8 p.m., Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday, April 1, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sunday, April 2, 2 & 7:30 p.m.; Fisher Theatre, 3011 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit; $40-$120.

Legally Blonde (Touring) Sunday April 2, 3 & 7:30 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $30-$72.

COMEDY

Go Comedy! Improv Theater

Fresh Sauce. $20. Saturdays, 10-11:30 p.m.; $10 Sundays, 7 p.m.; Free Sundays, 9 p.m.

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle

Comedian Jeff Leeson with Tim Finkel and Peggy Beattie. $25. Sunday ,April 2,

7:30-9 p.m.

Detroit House of Comedy Sydnee

Washington California. From $25. Friday, 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. and Saturday, April 1, 7 & 9:30 p.m.

Local buzz

By Broccoli and Joe Zimmer

Pop star behavior on grieving and loss: Here’s new music from Hamtramck-based “pop star wannabe” Mara Wanna, who I recently saw play her first show at Marble Bar a few weeks back opening for drummer and singer-songwriter wunderkind Elise Trouw. The song is called “Half of the Man,” with a heavy guitar rock lean and vocal drop that will give you chills. Last year’s Gag Order EP introduced fans to her maximalist production style, showcasing her love of classic pop music tropes and infectious vocal melodies. Below the shimmery surface, Mara Wanna explores themes of grief and loss, with the death of her father inspiring a lot of the lyrical content and adding emotional heft to her songwriting. “The song is about the unexpected changes in my social life that accompanied his death… just this extreme isolation that comes with grieving,” she says. If you’ve ever felt alone, just looking for a way to get through it, Mara Wanna can relate and find a way to sing about it. You can stream “Half of the Man” via the usual places, or watch the lyric video via Instagram (@marawannasworld), where she also usually posts her latest happenings. —Joe

The Blueprint celebrates DJ Cent: Femme-forward residency The Blueprint brings another

birthday bash to UFO Factory this Friday, March 31, with local legend DJ Cent taking headlining duties. The event series has become known for DJ sets and electronic music performances that give flowers to Detroit’s celebrated musical past while pushing the new wave forward. DJ Cent is one of the city’s best kept secrets, mentored by the late, great Kelli Hand (K-Hand) and throwing her own fair share of parties since the ’90s. She has stayed true to her musical vision throughout her career, and has stories for days from her times at Todd’s, Bookies, Heaven, and basically any other Detroit club that has come-and-gone. The night will also feature performances from Tru Violet and Shà David, as well as Blueprint resident DJs Blackmoonchild and AK. Tix via Resident Advisor. —Joe

Rowan Niemisto returns with powerful new EP: You might be familiar with Rowan Niemisto’s work even if you’ve never heard his name before; he’s played in bands with a bunch of great local acts, including Madelyn Grant, Jacob Sigman, and others. He was also in one of my favorite bands in college when I lived in Ann Arbor, Yada Yada, which will always hold a special place in my heart for playing in my living room on one or two occasions. (They even let me freestyle with them once at the Blind Pig. I have videos!) With all that said, Rowan is also an accomplished artist in his own right,

and his new EP “Gimme Strength” is living proof. With thoughtful songwriting, beautifully textured guitar twangs, and a slow, driving country beat that makes you want to dance and cry at the same time, the song “Good as Gone” kicks off a four-track offering that is worth every minute from start to finish, so go ahead and take a little 15-minute drive around the outskirts of town and see what it does for you. — Broccoli

Get ready for spring with Summer Like the Season: I wrote last year about Summer Like The Season for our New Detroit Music Issue, shortly before she was announced as a 2022 Kresge Fellow. Since that time, her and her bandmates have continued to trudge through the mad and beautiful world of DIY music, traveling across the country and slowly building their fanbase in the process. Amid a nation-wide, self-organized tour that will see them play from Austin at SXSW to Portland and many places in between, the band just released a new song “Mental” off of their upcoming record Aggregator The track is big and busy in all the right ways, exploring further extents of electronic production and even featuring more aggressive vocal delivery from bandleader Summer Krinsky, juxtaposed with an ambient piano breakdown to end what is surely an adventure of a song. Look out for the full album coming out June 1 of this year! —Broccoli

On “Half of the Man,” Hamtramck-based “pop star wannabe” Mara Wanna explores themes of grief and loss. COURTESY PHOTO

Not bad at all

When is it too soon to review a new restaurant? And what might customers miss out on when we’re quick to judge? Brad Brad’s BBQ, which opened its fifth Detroit-area location in Livonia in November, answered both of those questions eloquently.

When a host informed me of a wait for a table during a recent visit, I asked about eating at the bar and she pointed me the way. Plunking myself at a table set between the few already occupied booths and a handful of empty barstools, a bartender made eye contact with me.

“You’re not supposed to sit here,” she said.

“I’m sorry?” Surprised by the sudden attack, I got instantly defensive. “The host sent me here. She said I could eat.”

“But only at the booths. Not these tables.”

“Yet here I am,” I replied. We stared each other down, Mexican standoffstyle. Then, she blinked, and let me order a drink. A “Spicy Margarita” seemed appropriate. She poured it, I sipped it, and we both huffed and puffed. When my glass was empty, I got up, walked back over to the host, and requested another table.

“But you already have one,” she insisted.

“Where I’m told I’m not supposed to sit,” I shot back, frustrated. Back at a standstill, I made a speak-with-a-manager move. After a quick, roundtable

Bad Brad’s BBQ Livonia

delicious: collard greens with blackedeyed peas, cooked down in a balanced broth of vinegar and smoked pork stock. Mine came with a stewed-tender chunk of the meat itself.

By Robert Stempkowski

rehash, I decided to cut bait, pay my bill, and head back home.

Feeling guilty over my part in the matter, I returned two weeks later. The same host greeted (and remembered) me. We made amends. She sat me at a nice table.

My first course, guacamole with red and green salsa, made me homesick for Arizona. Freshly fried, perfectly crisp and salted corn tortilla chips were served with three equally fine condiments: a smooth, green salsa blending tart tomatillo and creamy avocado, a spicier and slightly smoky puree of roasted red tomato redolent with garlic and onion, and a perfectly precious scoop of great guac, flecked with cilantro and marbled with whole bits of avocado. (In Mexican/New Mexican cuisine cultures, guacamole isn’t blender-rendered baby food mixed with sour cream. That’s gringo gastronomy.)

Another threesome I’d indulge in again is the BBQ Trio: two whole chicken wings dry-rubbed with spices and perfumed in wood smoke, two hickory-kissed pork spareribs, meaty and tender, and strips of hot, stickysweet “pig candy,” the house bacon — Chipotle and sugar-cured, cut a little thick.

Greens proved a great start to the next day’s lunch visit. Let’s talk turkey salad . Loved the main ingredient — lots of delicately smoked turkey

breast — tossed with a wealth of other compatible components (fresh, mixed lettuces, buttermilk dressing, shredded Brick Cheese, dried cranberries, chopped tomato, avocado, slivered red onion, candied nuts, and more pig candy). What’s even sweeter about this salad, though, are countless, small slices of candied sweet potato that brighten every bite.

Nearly full before even ordering an entrée, I worked up an appetite again with a few, long pulls on my Apple Butter Old Fashioned. Too tart for my tastes, it did pack a wallop (Maker’s Mark Bourbon), pretty much dissolving an eco-friendly paper straw. Waiting for more food, I took a minute to take in the scene. Brad’s is brightly lit and windowless in much of the interior, almost casino-like. There’s blonde wood and brickwork everywhere. The feel’s more corporate than proprietary, but not cookie-cutter. There’s a pizza oven and a pick-up kiosk. Swarms of busy staff buzz from the kitchen through the dining rooms. The concept looks to be going places.

It’s clear to see why when my threemeat platter’s presented. Chicken tortilla soup, one of my sides (it comes with a choice of two), satisfies. Dotted on top with sour cream, it comes medium-spicy in a teapot-sized, cast-iron crock, with corn tortilla-thickened broth, shredded chicken, and torn cilantro. My second side is downright

Sizing up the co-starring proteins on my plate, big props to a whole New Mexican sausage. Its crisp casing beautifully browned, it reminded me of the links I feasted on for years at Richardson’s Cuisine of Santa Fe (in Phoenix, actually), one of the most storied restaurants in the American Southwest. By comparison, my pulled chicken was just OK: moist and flavorful enough but nothing more. Bad Brad’s assortment of sauces made the middling bird bits better, with three fairly standard styles that proved minor variations on the typical theme. Best in show for me proved to be a sweet-tangy, Carolina-style mop sauce tinged with mustard. The Ghost Pepper, however, packed more Scoville punch than I’m inclined to swallow.

Saving the best for last, five generous slices of point cut brisket proved all I needed to know about Bad Brad’s prowess in cooking this trickiest barbecue treat. More marbled than its flat cut, fraternal twin, the fat’s flavor was rendered fully through the meat, and with a telltale smoke ring clearly visible just beneath the thinnest layer of irresistibly charred and chewy bark, it was plain to see that there are real pit bosses at work here.

Waddling out of Bad Brad’s feeling extremely well-fed and cared for, I realized I’d also just been served up a perfect reminder about what’s reasonable to expect from the restaurants we all reserve the right to pass judgment on. Do we tend to write them off too easily and too often? If so, over what?

Perceived slights as flawed and flimsy as a flustered look on a busy food service professional’s face?

Way back when, some deluded idiot who likely never tended bar or waited tables started espousing the abundantly flawed theory that “the customer is always right” — and restaurantgoers have been holding the industry hostage to this horseshit maxim ever since. New or not, restaurants deserve more grace than we give them. Bad Brad’s punctuated that point through something that’s true of real hospitality pros. They rise above the fray of mishaps that happen every day. Kudos, Bad Brad’s.

BBQ trio with turkey salad and greens.

TOM PERKINS

Chowhound

At Dearborn’s old-school Roman Village restaurant, I bonded with my Italian girlfriend’s dad

By Robert Stempkowski

Roman history: On a recent guys’ night out with my Italian sweetheart’s father, I finally got around to visiting Dearborn’s venerated Roman Village. After being turned away at Miller’s Bar (they closed at 6 p.m. on a Saturday for lack of staff), we made our way down Dix and wet our whistles in the bar while waiting for a table. Festooned with celebrity photos dating back to the ’60s, the restaurant’s holding tank poured us some good, honest drinks until we were called to dinner. Sweetie’s father ate around the tender edges of an osso buco as big as his head (quite the steal at $29.95), and I could have cut my Parmigiana-style scallopini with a Q-tip. While the ballyhooed bread basket went pretty much untouched, the browned and crispy balsamicglazed Brussels sprouts that came with (!) our orders were super, as was the veggie-loaded minestrone in a stock three shades deeper in color and flavor than any version I’d ever sampled.

It was a nice night. With two martinis in Sweetie’s dad and a double 7 and 7 under my belt, the ride home proved a hoot. And the guy I saw as more or less my girlfriend’s dad when the evening started felt more like a friend at the end.

Market returns: Heading back to Eastern Market for the first time in 50 years was enough to make me cry. Memories of trips there as a boy center around my Polish grandmother, who dropped off empty peanut butter jars at the live poultry stall to be filled with duck blood for her homemade czarnina. Much has changed over time, but not everything. Like the proverbial kid in a candy store, I felt like one again, browsing the full cornucopia of Michigan foodstuffs on display. I skipped from vendor to vendor: split peas from the Hampshire Farms stand (out of Kingston); a basket of apples to feed my deer friends, compliments of Greg’s Fruit & Vegetable Stand; a breakfast baguette from Cannelle by Matt Kino. And then there were the things I didn’t buy but should have, like a $25 grow-your-own mushrooms kit from Give and Grow Mushroom; you just bring it home, cut a hole in the side, and get ready to harvest (3-5 pounds of delectable fungi on average). And at $1.17 a pound, I should have picked up a whole pig head and made God-knowswhat with it.

On the subject of my Maker, let me tell you how my Eastern Market experience ended. As I was about to

head home, a truck pulled up right in front of me and began unloading bunches of pussy willows — my grandmother’s favorite. I grabbed two bunches. I also engaged in conversation with the Hampshire Farm guy (if memory serves, his name was Randall) who sold me those split peas I needed for the soup I was about to make with ham bone that grandma taught me to save half a century ago. He seemed to know a whole lot of history about the place, so I asked him if he could recollect the live poultry place where my grandmother got duck blood from the butcher. Randall not only knew about it, he even remembered the man’s name who ran the operation. When he said it, I welled up, hearing it again.

“Turn around,” Randall told me with a tear in his eye, too. “That’s the spot right there.” I was five steps from it, utterly frozen in a moment of emotion and remembrance completely perfumed with a sense of my grandmother’s spirit.

Lastly, let’s lighten things up…

Jumpin’ Jack Flatulence: The Rolling Stones made a 2005 tour stop in Phoenix, staying at the Scottsdale Phoenician, where I worked as dining room captain in the ultra-high-end

Mary Elaine’s, the resort’s former flagship French restaurant. When I came to work one night that week, my G.M., Frank, informed me that I was going to wait on one and only one table that evening. When I asked why, he wouldn’t tell me.

“Are you kidding?” I fumed. “This is going to cost me hundreds!”

“Sorry, Stempie,” Frank shrugged and smirked.

The restaurant opened. 6, 7, and 8 p.m. came and went. Nothing. I was ready to strangle somebody. Then some suits walked up to me as I sulked.

That’s when Stones’ guitarist Ron Wood walked up with his wife and kids. There were four of them and a table set for ten. I had high hopes for who might fill those empty six seats. Alas, they went unrewarded. I learned by eavesdropping that Mick had made other plans, Keith had already been tucked in to his casita, and the late Charlie Watts would be a no-show as well.

In the end, everything worked out. The Wood family had an extravagant meal. My service team got a big tip along with backstage passes to the next night’s concert in Glendale. (No, we didn’t get to party like rock stars with the band, but we did get free drinks and hors d’oeuvres.) And I got to see, first-hand, once and for all, how true it is that, regardless of age and/or social standing, boys will be boys.

Fidgeting in a fine, upholstered leather chair while waiting for course number whatever, Mr. Wood managed to replicate a long, loud fart sound. His then-wife, Jo, gave him some side eye. He assured her it was the chair, not him. Then, he and I made eye contact. Grinning, I gave him the nod I instantly knew he was looking for. He quickly ripped off an even more realistic second effort.

“Now, Ronnie,” Jo tried, in proper English, to shut him down. The kids cracked up. I started to lose it, too.

“Am I right, mate?” Ron Wood turned to me for comic validation before rubbing out a few more. We were friends now, thanks to that fraternal bond that exists between all men who never outgrow or rise above our unashamed appreciation for mankind’s most hypocritically mocked and universally howled over bodily function.

There are those out there who claim bragging rights for catching one of Ron Wood’s concert guitar picks. That ain’t shit, people. For all intents and purposes, I’ve pulled his finger.

Chowhound is a bi-weekly column about what’s trending in Detroit food culture. Tips: eat@metrotimes.com.

Roman Village’s minestrone.

ROMAN VILLAGE CUCINA ITALIANA, FACEBOOK

WEED

First Black-owned ‘Detroit legacy’ cannabis dispensaries open

City of Detroit officials are celebrating the opening of the first adult-use cannabis dispensaries that are part of a social equity program designed to ensure that Black residents are represented in the legal marijuana industry.

Nuggets Cannabis, a Black-owned family business, opened earlier this month at 18270 Telegraph Rd.

“This doesn’t happen everywhere,” Deputy Mayor Todd Bettison said. “We fought to ensure legacy Detroiters have an opportunity to grow businesses in the cannabis industry, which has had a disproportionately negative impact on communities of color.”

As part of Detroit’s adult-use cannabis ordinance that passed last year, the city offers assistance and licenses to “Detroit legacy” applicants, who are eligible if they are long-term residents who own at least 51% of the business. Low-income Detroiters and those with prior criminal cannabis convictions can also qualify if they’ve lived in the city for more than a decade.

“Social equity means taking action to combat the years of criminalization faced by too many of our residents,” Bettison said. “Here in Detroit, we are addressing generational loss and building generational wealth back into the hands of the community.”

Nuggets Dispensary is owned by Dr.

Louis Radden and his aunt Camille Hicks. Radden is a physician who specializes in back and spine conditions.

“I entered into the business initially as a medical provider, but we are honored to be given the opportunity to open one of the first recreational facilities in the City of Detroit,” Radden said. “As we looked at opportunities across the Metro area, we always knew we wanted to be in our hometown. The cannabis industry has provided the opportunity for gainful employment with reasonable benefits to many folks in our community. I am proud to say 100% of our employees at the Telegraph store are Detroit residents.”

Another Black-owned dispensary opened in Detroit over the weekend.

High Profile Cannabis Shop opened on Saturday at 20327 Groesbeck Hwy. on the city’s east side.

City officials joined co-owner Najanava Harvey-Quinn to celebrate the grand opening on Saturday.

“This truly is an unprecedented time and opportunity for entrepreneurial residents like Najanava to invigorate the community’s prospects in the cannabis business,” Bettison said.

“It cannot be emphasized enough: Black and Brown communities have a real chance to grow profits in a legal industry that had previously penalized generations of our residents.

Following High Profile’s footsteps, we look forward to seeing other licensed cannabis businesses open and cement Detroit as a model for opportunity in other cities.”

High Profile Cannabis Shop sells dozens of varieties of flower, concentrate, vape cartridges, and edibles.

The store is a dispensary chain operated by Ann Arbor-based C3 Industries, with locations in Michigan, Massachusetts, and Missouri. It’s the company’s first dispensary in Detroit.

Harvey-Quinn knows first-hand the impact of the failed war on drugs. In 2008, her sister was arrested for possessing a small amount of cannabis. After witnessing the social and economic barriers that her sister faced, Harvey-Quinn began advocating for policy change to protect other victims of the drug war.

“Our city’s social justice ‘street fighter,’ Najanava has been leading efforts to reposition those impacted by the War on Drugs from victims to owners,” council President Pro Ten James Tate said. “I applaud her tenacity. She has fought tirelessly to see equality and equity in the cannabis industry and today she in her own right has won that fight. We stand with her and will continue to support her as we work together to break barriers for equity in cannabis for all.”

Harvey-Quinn credited the city’s legacy program with helping her get into the industry to make a difference.

“The Legacy Detroit program presented an opportunity for us to make sure Black and Brown people have a pathway to impact their communities as long-term residents,” she said. “Being an owner, I hope to lead by example. I want us to make sure we all work together to leave the door open for generations of people of color who are trying to get into this industry.”

So far, the city has issued 34 adultuse cannabis retail licenses. Of those, 20 are social equity applicants, which are people who live in a community disproportionately impacted by the war on drugs.

A total of 19 of the 34 businesses are owned by Detroiters. They include 10 Black men and seven Black women. Under the city’s ordinance, half of the licenses will be issued to social equity applicants.

“During the prohibition era, Detroiters were 30 times more likely to be convicted of a marijuana crime than elsewhere in Michigan, and our program addresses that inequity by reserving half of the retail licenses for those who come from communities like Detroit,” City Council Pro Tem James Tate said.

—Steve Neavling

The grand opening of High Profile Detroit included Council President Pro Tem James Tate (left) and co-owner Najanava Harvey-Quinn (center).

CITY OF DETROIT

From decades-past Oakland and Iran, two vivid local portraits

By George Elkind

One of film’s most obvious functions is of establishing a record, serving an essential archival function of documenting times, lives, moments, and places. Two welcome, newly restored works screening locally play to this strength of the medium and a good bit more this week, reworking in their own loose, productive ways the details of their respective directors’ own formative years. The first, Drylongso, arrives belatedly from the quite different Oakland, California, of 1998, where it was directed by Cauleen Smith — and plays at Cinema Detroit this Wednesday and Thursday. The other, Amir Naderi’s The Runner, from 1984, which recently screened at the Detroit Film Theatre, presents a diffuse patchwork of locations in Iran, set — despite its strained shooting circumstances — in a kind of assembled facsimile of the port city of Abadan, where its director lived out his early years.

Dealing head-on with the matter of shaping an understanding of one’s life through creative work, Drylongso casts a spotlight on Toby Smith as Pica, a young photography student and gig worker seeking a way to present work in a way that accounts for her own circumstances and voice. Skeptical and defiant of prospective mentors, she as much refuses as she struggles to fit in among both her classmates and family. In one key instance of this, Pica’s instructor, Mr. Yamada (Salim Akil, who also co-wrote the film) gently presses her to shoot her work on the more costly, lavish medium of 35mm film while she insists, even in the run-up to a showing of her work,

on capturing her images on the more vernacular medium of Polaroid.

Itself shot in 16mm, Smith’s film doesn’t remotely resemble a Polaroid through the look of its images — but it does retain something of the medium’s offhand quality: the spirit if not the aesthetic. With just a few gestures structuring the film’s loose progression, the leadup to Pica’s art showing metricizes the ambling experience of her own life but a neighborhood’s, too. Rife with squabbles, fights, and young romances, these individual and shared experiences take such precedence within Smith’s framing that they make a string of nighttime killings (a serial killer’s rumored to be the culprit) which weigh upon the main story feel essentially like a background plot.

Even with this figure’s impact not so much dramatized as deployed in a kind of shorthand for the threats which hover above and around Black lives, this violence lends an urgency to Pica’s art — and Smith’s film along with it. It creates a kind of pressure on the film’s efforts as both expression and document — with the subjects ranging from shadowy frames of porches at night to the too-bright lights of parties, or the emotionally worn face of a woman seated on the curb. Street photography plays a key role, too, making the film a kind of catalog of photography’s not-so-distant history and range of both vernacular and fine-art modes.

Seeming to work with just a few lights, Smith manages to produce indelible images with scant resources, banking on the skills of her cast and crew in not just

creating a world but doing the equally difficult job of not showing their work, covering for the arduous nature of all the stuff involved. This sense of ease extends to the film’s fluid, sure direction, too; with great reliability, Smith populates her film with actors who seem both low-key yet irrepressibly themselves, knowing how to flatter them with a cut, a piece of music, a fade or a novel angle. Funny, frank, and wide-ranging in where it looks, Drylongso easily sells the work of portraiture as a lush variety of performance on its own, accomplishing, too, the elusive trick of making it look organic — almost as though her images were simply found.

Too sweeping in its use of geography to seem nearly so offhand, Amir Naderi’s The Runner spotlights 11-year old Amiro (Madjid Niroumand, giving a bright and charismatic performance) as he hustles for a living. Whether picking refuse from the local dump or from the sea, Amiro — while more than a viewer surrogate — doubles as a kind of witness to experiences of those on Iran’s margins, with global capital’s maritime machinery providing tantalizing hints at distant but present, cordoned-off ways of life. Forced to constantly struggle, and to favor sporadic work over any structured school, Amiro’s situation parallels Naderi’s own of being orphaned at a young age and finding ways to make a living while unhoused.

While Amiro seems, as a matter of necessity, as quick and agile in his negotiation of this lot as the film’s title might suggest, he remains — as does the movie with him — thoroughly preoccupied by

potential sources of mobility. Barges, shipping containers, planes, trains, and bikes all feature; hurdles to access proving a defining feature across them. As he lives often aboard a rusty, grounded and abandoned boat, the disjunction between the impossibility of escape and the constant work involved in barely living become — to a starker degree than for most of us — the defining features of Amiro’s life.

Without veering into romanticism or glossing over struggle, Naderi shoots his film in a way that accounts carefully for the medium’s formal interplay of performance, pacing, and light. With pale, desaturated frames shot from a variety of locations in Iran (cobbled together to give an impression of a more concentrated, yet sprawling and varied geography than he worked on), the film’s oppressive circumstances wind up leavened by its director and characters’ thirst for variety. As a driving force, this never leaves the film — which proves a constant showcase for a vivid, tactile sense of engagement with a staggering range of environments. Without offering a defense or endorsement of the social realities which make it up, the film still declines to deny there’s something in them: making a kind of firsthand, thoroughly informed experiential case for the essential quality of what it shows.

Whether its characters — mostly children living, like Amiro, on their own — find themselves hitching rides, chasing trains, or caught up in scuffles, there’s a sensory immediacy to Naderi’s frames that’s courted through a ready observational engagement rather than the most standard-issue, telegraphing cinematic ways, such as through music cues or via the often through the sometimes maudlin spectacle of a close-up. Instead, Naderi tends toward long shots which capture his characters in a grounded context — offering the double benefit of catching not only their environment from scene to scene but their full, embodied postures and the emotional tones those convey. As a result, Naderi captures more — from both his settings and the people in them — than a Hollywood director working in the same place might, and the film is better for it.

Shot during the Iran-Iraq War (which features even less as a character than Drylongso’s killer), The Runner makes a like case for its own urgency — and does so without becoming a kind of “social problem” film. Instead, like Drylongso, it takes a level, good-humored look at its characters’ experiences, while retaining a clear vision, too, for the forces from which they arise. Never hectoring but always on the level, Smith and Naderi put trust in images as well as what they capture, knowing they’ll always make their own best case.

A still from Drylongso COURTESY

CULTURE

Savage Love

Size Peace

By Dan Savage

Dear Readers: I hosted an “Ask Me Anything” session on my website — Savage. Love — last week, where I answered as many reader/listener questions as I could get to in 90 minutes. Here are some of the questions I didn’t get to before the buzzer sounded…

: Q 30s lesbian in a non-monogamous sexless marriage here. Do you think it’s ever possible to re-spark a sexual connection if both partners are open to it? The context: I love good sex and have had incredibly hot sexual connections with other partners, but sex in my 10-year relationship with my wife has always been infrequent, i.e., two to three times a year. She’s generally a very tired, low-energy person, and she’s so low-energy during sex that she’s literally fallen asleep mid-sex on a lot of occasions. This has done a number on my self-esteem, and the last decade of my life has been characterized by loneliness, yearning, and dissatisfaction. And lately, resentment has creeped in. You might tell me to go have amazing sex with other partners, but my wife is verrrry controlling of those connections and tends to treat me with a cold shoulder when I get involved with someone else. I’ve come to embrace the truth that this is not enough for me for the rest of my lifetime. I’m not sure how to dig my relationship out of this dynamic. We’ve been in therapy together for four years and although she says she wants the same exciting sex life that I want, nothing has changed.

—Help A Lesbian Out

: A One of the superstar commenters at Savage.Love — BiDanFan — got to your question before I did, HALO, and I liked her response: “She says she wants the same exciting sex life that you want but her actions say the opposite. She only wants sex once or twice a YEAR, and doesn’t want you to have sex with anyone else. This isn’t fair. Four years of therapy haven’t solved anything. Your wife is paying lip service to wanting to re-spark your sexual connection so you won’t leave her. But how many decades of your life will you spend like this? But don’t go have amazing sex with other

people yet! Divorce your wife, then go have amazing sex with other people.”

That’s good advice — BiDanFan always gives good advice — but personally, HALO, I don’t think you have to wait until your divorce is final before you go have amazing sex with someone else. Hell, I don’t think you have to wait until you’ve even initiated a divorce. Your marriage is open and non-monogamous, which means you’re already allowed to get sex elsewhere. So, why wait? And if your wife gives you the cold shoulder — if she punishes you for getting sex elsewhere after giving you permission to get sex elsewhere — that’s something you should bring up with your therapist.

Zooming out for a second: you can’t re-spark something that never sparked in the first place. Whatever your relationship is, whatever happiness it brought and still brings you, it has never been defined by a strong sexual connection. You need to stop feeling guilty and/ or being made to feel guilty about the accommodation your wife made (permission to get it elsewhere) that made it possible for you to stay in this marriage as long as you already have. And if your wife can’t stop trying to make you feel guilty — by punishing you with that cold shoulder — you’ll have to make up your mind not to feel guilty.

I think it’s time to issue the dreaded ultimatum: “It’s open on my terms — it’s open and joyful — or it’s over.” Your wife may pick “over,” and that may be the best outcome for both of you. But she may decide… once she realizes she can’t control you with her moods and/ or run out the life-expectancy-clock in therapy… to be happy for you when you get it elsewhere.

: Q My partner of four years — he’s male, age 59 — recently started having trouble maintaining an erection. He and I have discussed it, we’re both still having a great time, and he’s going to bring it up with his doctor soon. Any tips for being a supportive and enthusiastic partner when he goes soft? Do I switch up whatever activity I’m doing when it happens? Or do I carry on? How can I be a better partner in these moments?

—Having Anxieties Regarding Dick

: A If your partner goes soft while he’s fucking you, HARD, you obviously can’t carry on. And if he goes soft while you’re sucking him, well, blowjobs are a lot of work and sucking a soft cock is (usually, not always) wasted labor. The better idea would be for you to pivot — I mean the plural you, the two of you together, without sighs or apologies — to an activity that takes the focus off his dick and that relieves him of the pressure to get hard again right away or at all. He goes down on you, mutual masturbation, you bust out a vibrator, you could even borrow a page from the lesbians and get a strap-on dildo.

: Q My oldest child, age 23, just came out as non-binary. Their dad and I are happy for them and happy to see them live their truth. We are struggling a little with remembering to use the correct pronouns, but we know with practice we’ll get it. My child’s partner is a trans man. My child previously identified as a gay man. Does this change in their gender identity impact their sexual orientation at all? Can you help this loving and open-minded 55-yearold mom navigate this new territory?!?

—Mom On Mission

: A You shouldn’t have to navigate this territory unassisted, MOM, because your child should be your guide. If you have a question about how their new non-binary gender identity might impact how they label or understand their sexual orientation, you should ask them. There are nonbinary folks out there who identify as gay and lesbian — which can be confusing, as those categories can seem pretty binary on their face. It’s also possible that your kid now identifies as androsexual, i.e., someone who is attracted to men or masculinity, instead of gay or that your kid is workshopping a brand-new term for their sexual orientation. They’ve surely given this some thought — until recently young queers rarely seemed to think about anything else — but on the off chance they haven’t thought about how their new gender identity intersectionally intersects in an intersectional way — with their old sexual orientation, a well-intentioned question from mom (“Do you still identify as gay?”) should inspire them to give it some thought.

: Q Have you/anyone you know had a mid-life crisis? How did you/they handle it? How long did it last? Only asking as I’m slightly worried that my hubby (40-yearold gay man) might be having one and there are only so many saunas, bathhouses, threesomes, etc., I can indulge him in before I just get bored. Also, moving to a UK city-centre flat and going clubbing has zero appeal for me, a 35-year-old gay man. Any thoughts you could share?

—Tired Of Going Out

: A When my husband was in his 20s… he didn’t wanna go out so much, and neither did I. But when he turned 30, he suddenly wanted to go out. So, I let him go out, and I even went out with him once in a while. And now that he’s in his 50s… my husband still wants to go out. Not as often, TOGO, but it’s clear going out wasn’t a midlife crisis or something he would get out of his system in a year or two. It’s something he enjoys, and something he needs. The secret to our success as a mixed introvert/extrovert couple: I don’t force him to stay home, he doesn’t force me to go out. So long as he’s considerate, so long as he’s there when I need him, so long as he doesn’t wake me up when he gets home, it’s not a problem… because we don’t make it a problem. If you don’t need your husband by your side at all times and/ or he doesn’t need you by his side at all times — if the idea of staying home and reading while your husband, say, hosts a fetish party at a leather bar doesn’t make you miserable — you can make this work.

: Q I’ve learned recently that I’m sort of a demisexual: I like to have a more or less personal connection with someone before having sex. There’s a friend I’ve had sex with before but haven’t again since becoming closer friends. We have lots of sexual tension and there’s clear interest from both ends in having sex again. But for some reason he avoids it, and doesn’t seem all that interested, and he sort of strings me along. I’ve told him in no uncertain terms that I want to fuck, so the ball is in his court. How do I get him to cut through the sexual tension and fuck me already? I think it’d be fun to be his local trade.

—Fuck Me

: A There’s a lot of tension here — but it’s not mutual sexual tension. You’re feeling sexual tension because you wanna fuck this guy again. And he’s feeling tense… because he knows you wanna fuck him… because you told him you wanna fuck him… but he doesn’t wanna fuck you. And he’s a nice guy, the kind of guy who doesn’t want to be unkind if he can avoid it, and so he’s allowed you to think he’s interested. He smiles, he laughs, he flirts, and he gently deflects… too gently, FM, in fact so gently you don’t realize he’s not interested in fucking you again. He thinks he’s being kind but this particular kind of kindness — never saying no, never saying yes — isn’t actually very kind, FM, because living in false hope is torture.

Send your burning questions to mailbox@savage.love. Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love!

CULTURE Free Will Astrology

ARIES: March 21 – April 19

Sometimes, I give you suggestions that may, if you carry them out, jostle your routines and fluster your allies. But after trying out the new approaches for a short time, you may chicken out and revert to old habits. That’s understandable! It can be difficult to change your life. Here’s an example. What if I encourage you to cancel your appointments and wander out into the wilderness to discuss your dreams with the birds? And what if, during your adventure, you are flooded with exhilarating yearnings for freedom? And then you decide to divest yourself of desires that other people want you to have and instead revive and give boosts to desires that you want yourself to have? Will you actually follow through with brave practical actions that transform your relationship with your deepest longings?

TAURUS: April 20 – May 20

You have done all you can for now to resolve and expunge stale, messy karma — some of which was left over from the old days and old ways. There may come a time in the future when you will have more cleansing to

do, but you have now earned the right to be as free from your past and as free from your conditioning as you have ever been. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you still need to spend a bit more time resolving and expunging stale, messy karma. But you’re almost done!

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20

Businessman Robert Bigelow hopes to eventually begin renting luxurious rooms in space. For $1.7 million per night, travelers will enjoy accommodations he provides on his orbiting hotel, 200 miles above the Earth’s surface. Are you interested? I bet more Geminis will be signing up for this exotic trip than any other sign. You’re likely to be the journeyers most excited by the prospect of sailing along at 17,000 miles per hour and witnessing 16 sunsets and sunrises every 24 hours. APRIL FOOL! In fact, you Geminis are quite capable of getting the extreme variety you crave and need right here on the planet’s surface. And during the coming weeks, you will be even more skilled than usual at doing just that.

CANCER: June 21 – July 22

The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to become the overlord of your own fiefdom, or seize control of a new territory and declare yourself chieftain, or overthrow the local hierarchy and install yourself as the sovereign ruler of all you survey. APRIL FOOL! I was metaphorically exaggerating a bit — but just a bit. I do in fact believe now is an excellent phase to increase your clout, boost your influence, and express your leadership. Be as kind you can be, of course, but also be rousingly mighty and fervent.

LEO: July 23 – August 22

town, it will be soon. Similarly, if you are destined to buy a winning $10 million lottery ticket or inherit a diamond mine in Botswana, that blessing will arrive soon. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit. The truth is, I suspect you are now extra likely to attract new resources and benefits, though not on the scale of gold bullion, lottery winnings, and diamond mines.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

Do you have a muse, Libra? In my opinion, all of us need and deserve at least one muse, even if we’re not creative artists. A muse can be a spirit or hero or ally who inspires us, no matter what work and play we do. A muse may call our attention to important truths we are ignoring or point us in the direction of exciting future possibilities. According to my astrological analysis, you are now due for a muse upgrade. If you don’t have one, get one — or even more. If you already have a relationship with a muse, ask more from it. Nurture it. Take it to the next level.

SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21:

By Rob Brezsny

phase in the coming weeks. It’s a perfect time to dynamically explore your idiosyncratic inclinations and creative potentials. Be bold, even brazen, as you celebrate what makes you unique. BUT WAIT! Although everything I just said is true, I must add a caveat: You don’t necessarily need to be a freaky eccentric to honor your deepest, most authentic truths and longings.

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Some of my friends disapprove of cosmetic surgery. I remind them that many cultures throughout history have engaged in body modification. In parts of Africa and Borneo, for example, people stretch their ears. Some Balinese people get their teeth filed. Women of the Indigenous Kyan people in Thailand elongate their necks using brass coils. Anyway, Capricorn, this is my way of letting you know that the coming weeks would be a favorable time to change your body. APRIL FOOL! It’s not my place to advise you about whether and how to reshape your body. Instead, my job is to encourage you to deepen and refine how your mind understands and treats your body. And now is an excellent time to do that.

AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Holy Week reminds me of the song “That’s life”, you’re riding high in April, shot down in May…back on top in June. ‘Hosanna in the highest’ on Sunday, beaten and nailed to a cross on Friday, rising from the dead on Sunday. That is a full week man. Also, a belated happy Ramadan, happy Passover and happy April fools. Did I leave anyone out???

In his poem “The Something,” Charles Simic writes, “Here come my night thoughts on crutches, returning from studying the heavens. What they thought about stayed the same. Stayed immense and incomprehensible.” According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you Leos will have much the same experience in the coming weeks. So there’s no use in even hoping or trying to expand your vision. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will not have Simic’s experience. Just the opposite. When your night thoughts return from studying the heavens, they will be full of exuberant, inspiring energy. (And what exactly are “night thoughts”? They are bright insights you discover in the darkness.)

VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22

If there will ever come a time when you will find a gold bullion bar on the ground while strolling around

Dear Valued Employee: Our records show you haven’t used any vacation time over the past 100 years. As you may know, workers get three weeks of paid leave per year or else receive pay in lieu of time off. One added week is granted for every five years of service. So please, sometime soon, either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office, and your next paycheck will reflect payment of $8,277,432, including pay and interest for the past 1,200 months. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was an exaggeration. But there is a grain of truth in it. The coming weeks should bring you a nice surprise or two concerning your job.

SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

Sagittarian poet and artist William Blake (1757–1827) was a hardworking visionary prophet with an extravagant imagination. His contemporaries considered him a freaky eccentric, though today we regard him as a genius. I invite you to enjoy your own personal version of a Blake-like

I invite you to make a big change. I believe it’s crucial if you hope to place yourself in maximum alignment with current cosmic rhythms. Here’s my idea: Start calling yourself by the name “Genius.” You could even use it instead of the first name you have used all these years. Tell everyone that from now on, they should address you as “Genius.” APRIL FOOL! I don’t really think you should make the switch to Genius. But I do believe you will be extra smart and ultra-wise in the coming weeks, so it wouldn’t be totally outrageous to refer to yourself as “Genius.”

PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20

Your body comprises 30 trillion human cells and 39 trillion microbial cells, including the bacteria that live within you. And in my astrological estimation, those 69 trillion life forms are vibrating in sweet harmony with all the money in the world. Amazing! Because of this remarkable alignment, you now have the potential to get richer quicker. Good economic luck is swirling in your vicinity. Brilliant financial intuitions are likely to well up in you. The Money God is far more amenable than usual to your prayers. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit. But I do believe you now have extra ability to prime your cash flow.

Homework: What’s the best blessing you could give someone right now?

JAMES NOELLERT

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Send Resume to G. Camano, Director of Nursing Services, Four Seasons Nursing Center of Westland, 8365 Newburgh Rd., Westland, Ml 48185.

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Pittsburgh Glass Works, LLC, a Vitro company, seeks Supply Chain Manager in Westland, MI, to effectively lead all functions (Receiving, Shipping, Material Planning, Production Planning, Inventory Mgmt, Packaging, and Mfg Support) responsible for procurement, storage & flow of materials thru mfg facility. Email resume to recruitment@vitro.com w/ ‘Supply Chain Manager’ in subject line.

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