Scene July 29, 2015

July 29 – AUGUST 4, 2015 • VOL. 46 Issue 5

The

Corvette Thief 78-year-old Dan Ott has stolen more than 1,000 cars in his life.

And left plenty of damage along the way

By Vince Grzegorek

SUPPORTING

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J U LY 2 9 - A U G U S T 4 , 2 0 1 5 • VOL U M E 4 6 No 5

Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Publisher Chris Keating Associate Publisher Desiree Bourgeois

CONTENTS 45

Upfront

Editor Vince Grzegorek

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City Council fast-tracks protest regulations, an RTA cop pepper-sprays a crowd of activists, and more

Editorial Managing Editor Eric Sandy Music Editor Jeff Niesel Staff Writer Sam Allard Web Editor Alaina Nutile Contributing Writer Will Burge Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Contributing Dining Editor Nikki Delamotte Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Editor Josh Usmani Interns Hannah Wintucky, Brittany Rees, Jacob Gedetsis, Jason Meek, Maggie Sullivan Kimberly Jauregui,Tyler Singleton, Caitlin Summers, Elizabeth Manno, Dana Hetrick, Alexandra Hintz

Framed

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All the best photos we’ve shared with you this week

Facetime

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Hunter-Davis Classified Account Executive Alice Leslie

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Sandra Ellington of SEIU Local 1 discusses labor and the Movement for Black Lives

Feature

Marketing and Events Jenna Conforti, Gina Scordos

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Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Layout Editor/Graphic Designer Christine Hahn Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace

78-year-old Dan Ott has stolen more than 1,000 cars in his life and left plenty of damage along the way

Business Asst. To The Publisher Angela Lott Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac

Get Out!

Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss

Dozens of events spanning the next week in Cleveland

Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Chief Financial Officer Brian Painley Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon www.euclidmediagroup.com

Art

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Cleveland West Art League members show off their creations

Stage

National Advertising Voice Media Group 1-800-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com

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Two groups are providing no-cost Shakespeare, indoors and out

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Photo by Sam Allard

UPFRONT NEW RULES FOR PROTESTS widens the gap in communications, relations, and trust.”

Indeed, members of the protest community, via Twitter, expressed disdain for the new legislation.

The sort of impromptu organizing that became part and parcel of the response to the deaths of Tamir Rice and Tanisha Anderson, and the acquittal of Michael Brelo, however, won’t be subject to the same permitting regulations. In those instances, an organizer must contact the Chief of Police eight hours before the demonstration with contact information for an “on-site coordinator” and a description of the proposed route.

The Chief of Police, however, may still “impose reasonable restrictions” if he feels that the impromptu demonstration will interfere with, among other things the “safe and expeditious movement of pedestrian and vehicular traffic” and “other special events.”

Which basically defeats the purpose.

To the best of our knowledge, the whole point of demonstrating in the streets, or the Shoreway, for example, is to impede the expeditious movement of vehicular traffic, to cause a disruption in “business as usual,” in the language of the protesters. If you confine demonstrations to street corners or explicitly defined routes, you take away much of their power; not to mention, of course, the fact that you’re forcing protesters to participate in one of the very systems they’re objecting to.

What strikes us as the other obvious criticism of the legislation is that it expects a courtesy of protesters, (advance notice), that the various police and prosecutors haven’t reciprocated -i.e. that they haven’t been forthcoming about the time and content of announcements in high-profile cases.

Michael Brelo’s acquittal, in particular,

CLICK!

THIS WEEK

LAST WEEK, AFTER A DAYLONG Committee of the Whole session, Cleveland City Council passed a piece of legislation that will regulate “parades,” a term that now includes public demonstrations.

According to the city, it was important to pass as an emergency measure (read: without multiple readings and public input) in order to have the regulations in place for the first Republican National Debate, which will be held in Cleveland at Quicken Loans Arena on Aug. 6.

The ordinance will require parades associated with a special event to apply for a permit (with a $25 processing fee) at least 14 days in advance. For parades and protests unaffiliated with a special event, a permit application must be submitted at least four days in advance.

Council voted 12-4-1 in favor of the overhaul, which does away with the existing parade legislation passed in 2003. Councilmen Jeff Johnson, Zack Reed, TJ Dow and Brian Cummins voted nay, primarily because they hadn’t been included in the negotiation process. (Councilman Brian Kazy was absent.)

Cummins, on his personal blog later that night, wrote that he agreed with the ordinance in principle, in particular the fact that permits won’t be required for “impromptu demonstrations” and protests on sidewalks, but still voted no.

“Passage of such an ordinance, although intended to help clarify the laws regarding permits and regulations for ‘parades,’ when passed without substantive debate and discourse with Cleveland City Council, or members of the public and organizations that have shown active interest in participating in police reform, has an impact of increasing the divide between the City and residents and organizations working for reform,” he wrote. “It injures and

CARDS AGAINST CLE

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Jason Kipnis says Indians have been “playing like shit.” Elaborating, Kipnis directly calls out Ryan Raburn’s combination of “I drink to forget ____” and “Gandalf’s penis,” despite chuckling as he repeats it.

The city would like a word with protesters.

seemed to have been tactically designed to make dissemination difficult (it arrived very early on a Saturday morning) and demonstrating as ineffectual as possible (unable to disrupt rush hour traffic).

To put it another way: If you’re going to make citizens’ lives harder by killing unarmed black people and prolonging justice — When, for God’s sake, can we expect a result in the second or third or fifth Tamir Rice investigation? — please don’t expect demonstrators to make your lives easier by telling you exactly when and where they intend to revolt against the atrocities.

RTA COP PEPPER-SPRAYS ACTIVISTS

Details of Sunday’s downtown pepper-spraying incident are still adhering very closely to partisan narratives, but the viral video does indeed show a GCRTA officer issuing a “general burst” of pepper spray into a crowd of activists who had formed around his cruiser after transit police took a 14-year-old boy into custody.

RTA, in a statement released later that night, claimed that the officers “peacefully removed a intoxicated 14-year old male [sic] from a bus,” and that the teenager was so intoxicated that he was “unable to care for himself.”

Activists, who were attending the Movement for Black Lives Convening at Cleveland State University, claimed on Twitter that an arrest had been made because the 14-yearold didn’t have a bus ticket and that the transit officers “body slammed”

NEOMG reporter Brandon Blackwell inserts himself into Movement for Black Lives event, live-streaming and whitesplaining attendees’ anger. Video hailed internally as journalistic triumph.

POLITICAL PANCAKES

State Rep. Steve Kraus (Sandusky-R) loses office after being convicted of theft. Former Ohio Democratic Party Chair Chris Redfern loses seat at Denny’s after getting up to go to restroom.

him to to the ground.

RTA claims that the 14-yearold was examined by EMS at the scene — Euclid and East 24th — and that he was released to his mother at 5:47 p.m. (at which release the crowds cheered). The press release says that the incident is now under investigation. Spokespeople have not yet replied to Scene’s requests for further details.

One detail that should be promptly cleared up is the name of the officer who appears in the video: Sgt. Robert Schwab. He was misidentified by activists as GCRTA officer Sean O’Neil. The real O’Neil issued a statement on LinkedIn on Monday saying that, as a night shift employee, he was neither the officer who pepper sprayed the crowd nor was he even there.

“You can imagine my surprise when I started receiving calls for work about being targeted by Anonymous and that my name was being thrown all around the Twitterverse and other social media sites,” he wrote. He said he disabled many of his online accounts, and that things are already “settling down.”

Councilman Zack Reed issued a statement urging transparency in the ensuring GCRTA investigation and said that any use of force against individuals exercising their constitutional rights was “very concerning.” Reed’s colleague Jeff Johnson was even more critical on Twitter, saying that the pepper spray incident was “UNACCEPTABLE,” and that he would personally seek removal of the officer and a full investigation.

YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE Volleyball, anyone?

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 7

FRAMED!

our best shots from last week

Photos by Emanuel Wallace, Jon Lichtenberg*, Paige Margulies**, Jeff Niesel***, Caitlin Summers****

Order up! @ Scene Ale Fest

Gyro party @ Scene Ale Fest

Bagpipin’ @ Cleveland Irish Cultural Festival

Playing in the band @ Cleveland Irish Cultural Festival

Cheers! @ Cleveland Irish Cultural Festival

That beard @ Cake at Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica*

Xan McCurdy @ Cake at Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica*

Stage dancing @ Vans Warped Tour**

Happy-go-lucky @ AP Music Awards at the Q**

Wilson! @ AP Music Awards Red Carpet***

Why so serious? @ AP Music Awards Red Carpet***

Reggae vibes @ Music in the Meadow****

Iconic Edison’s @ Taste of Tremont

Nice move @ Taste of Tremont

USA @ Scene Ale Fest

Never miss a beat!

See more pics @ clevescene.com Drum jam @ Tamikrest at Ohio City Stages

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Photo courtesy SEIU Local 1

FACETIME

SUPPORT SYSTEM

In the fight for labor equality, don’t disregard #BlackLivesMatter

By Eric Sandy THE MOVEMENT FOR BLACK Lives Convening took place last weekend in downtown Cleveland, drawing together a vast, vibrant group of activists to discuss the multi-faceted foundation of racial inequality in the U.S. Sandra Ellington, a member of SEIU Local 1 here in Cleveland, attended the event and spent some time with Scene to further describe the Movement’s work and her own union’s efforts to promote labor rights in our city. Yanela Sims, northern Ohio coordinator for SEIU Local 1, was on a weekend panel and joined us for our conversation.

How was the weekend?

SE: The topics that we covered were racial equality as far as labor is concerned. In a lot of our contracts, we have that. There is no room for discrimination, whether that’s gender, color, religion.

That’s a big point at SEIU. We feel that everyone deserves an equal chance and opportunity at any job that they’re qualified for. If our members have obstacles, they have a place they can reach out to so that we can figure out how to make it better, so that folks can feel comfortable at their workplace no matter their gender, color, you should never feel uncomfortable at work. If there’s an issue, we will address it completely.

In talking about labor and economic issues, do you feel that racial inequality -- a major aspect in this -- gets lost?

YS: You’re absolutely right. In a lot of cases, when we talk about “black lives matter,” we don’t

10

really look at the labor component of that. Racial inequality is often linked to low wages. They almost go hand in hand. When you’re at the bus stop waiting to go to to work or come home from work, when you’re being harassed by the police, that’s a problem. If you don’t have a job and you have to find other outlets to take care of your family, that’s an issue. SEIU is lending a voice to that, and I think labor in general is kind of moving toward acknowledging that they’re not separate issues. When you talk about race and black lives, you’re also talking about low-wage workers and the disparity between other groups of people. It’s common knowledge that lower-wage workers tend to be people of color and women, so when you have that discussion you have to talk about both of them.

Are those conversations happening in Cleveland?

SE: Yes, I do get the sense that these conversations are happening.

We often talk about that in our membership meetings, figuring out ways to raise our workers up and giving them an understanding that they do have an outlet. I myself do catch the bus, and there can be a sense of, you know, me feeling comfortable because you’re trying to make a living. That’s what it is.

That’s real life. The conversations are happening. SEIU Local 1 is lending a hand in that and working together with the community.

That’s something that we do.

Following that, the union has been very active on the issue of raising

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

the minimum wage.

SE: It’s not just about “labor,” it’s about people. We don’t have the manufacturing jobs anymore.

McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s: Those are the jobs. Those are the jobs for when the factories close down and people need to take care of their families. So they do need a decent wage. No one should have to work two jobs to take care of their family. That should not be happening in this country. We want to raise everybody up. We’re not just about the labor -- people in unions -- we’re about all the people.

We live next-door to these folks, we ride the bus with these folks, we walk hand in hand with these folks. If you raise from the bottom, it comes to the top.

YS: She eloquently stated that, and I just want to add that those jobs in fast food are not jobs that only children looking for work are doing now. Adults -- people who have to support families -- are looking toward those jobs now because other jobs are no longer available. It’s not fair for us not to acknowledge those jobs as jobs people are doing to support their families.

Is there a lot of pushback against the idea or are people open to raising the wage here?

SE: It’s a mixed field. We’re going to invite everybody to the conversation so everyone can get an understanding and see what’s really happening. Working people understand, but other folks who are not in that situation have to understand. And I get it, you know?

YS: I would add that our voices

are definitely being heard. In places like California and New York -- because of the efforts of working people taking a stand and communicating what they need and want to be able to support their families -- they are listening.

So the conversation is one thing.

Then comes the need for action. To go back to the Movement for Black Lives panel, what sort of conclusions were drawn?

YS: The biggest takeaway is that labor can no longer separate itself from the community. The other point is that working people are a tremendous and incredibly important resource. We need to raise working people up. We need to hear their voices, listen to their recommendations and work with them so that we can rebuild our communities and even the playing field for the haves and the have-nots.

SE: It was absolutely beautiful. I loved it. There was so much love in the room. I can’t wait for the next one. I was educated in many different things on many different levels, and I felt very comfortable.

YS: We really appreciated that there was a full representation of the LGBTQ community. When we talk about black people in those communities, sometimes we don’t connect the two, so I personally appreciated that their voices were present and heard and respected.

There were so many panels and speakers and workshops that you couldn’t attend all of them.

esandy@clevescene.com t@ericsandy

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 11

FEATURE

THE CORVETTE THIEF 78-year-old Dan Ott has stolen more than 1,000 cars in his life. And left plenty of damage along the way

By Vince Grzegorek COME THE FIRST WEEK OF June, Dan Ott would be in Michigan, in his new apartment, where most of his belongings and furniture had already been moved, working at his new job.

But on Thursday, May 25, 2006, the Buckeye State was still his home. The 31-year-old and his girlfriend Maryann Ricker were enjoying one of the last nights together in Burton Township in Geauga County.

They slept on an air mattress in the living room. Their bulldog, named Mulligan, moped around the mostly empty house scattered with a few boxes.

Ott had spent the past six years becoming something of a

12

Dan Ott was murdered in the house he shared with his girlfriend in 2006.

rising star in the greenhouse cultivation world. He may have looked like an auto mechanic,

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

but he had a natural ability to coax strong and beautiful plants from the soil. He was a grower, as much a professional title as a magical ability befuddling to anyone who struggles to keep a houseplant alive. Which is how he ended up at Urban Growers in Burton with a working arrangement that allowed him to live rentfree in a small house next door.

It’d served him and Ricker well for three years, but a greenhouse in Michigan had offered him more money to bring his green thumb up north. Ott wanted to run his own operation one day, and this was the logical next step.

Mulligan woke them up earlier than usual the next

morning. It was 6:30 a.m.

They ignored the pup’s pleas and tried to fall back asleep, but were soon startled fully awake by a terrifying image: a masked man in camouflage with a shotgun standing in their house.

In what was a curious moment both then and in retrospect, the assailant asked Ott’s name before instructing the couple to lie on their stomachs. He then duct-taped Ott’s hands behind his back.

When he moved on to Ricker, Ott freed himself from the tape and attacked the intruder, trying to protect the woman he loved. The masked man shot Ott once in the chest and fled.

Ricker called 911 at 6:35

a.m. She talked to Ott while they waited for the ambulance.

He responded at fi rst. Then he didn’t. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.

The murder went unsolved for close to a decade, though it was never a cold case, Geauga County Sheriff Daniel McLelland says. Detectives had leads and rarely did a week go by when they weren’t tracking them down. Though no specific details seeped into news reports, the working theory they were chasing was that it had been a murder-forhire gone wrong.

The gunman had been looking for a man named Dan Ott in Northeast Ohio.

He was just off by some 50 miles and 40 years.

Jason DeLillo didn’t think much of the old man who asked about a 2003 Corvette at the Car Connection Superstore in New Castle, Pennsylvania, in 2009. The “older gentleman” was wearing overalls and a surgical mask, the car salesman told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette a year later. It was the summer of H1N1, swine flu was dotting headlines, so the mask didn’t strike him as particularly odd.

The old man sat in the car for 10 minutes or so, declined an offer to test drive the car, and left.

The Corvette was gone the next day.

“It’s the oddest person you would think would steal a car,” DeLillo told the paper.

David Hufstetler, the owner of Hufstetler Auto Sales in North Canton, Ohio, had the same reaction when a Corvette disappeared from his parking lot the same year and authorities came around asking about an old man.

“He’s the nicest guy you’d ever want to talk to,” Hufstetler told the Akron-Beacon Journal.

“It was like dealing with grandpa. Then you fi nd out grandpa is a thief. You think, ‘Oh, man, really? That old man?’”

The old man was named Dan Ott. He’d relied on that disarming appearance — his victims feeling unthreatened, if they noticed him and felt

anything at all — to do what he did so well. Which was to steal cars. A lot of them. Even into his 70s. Ott was one of the most notorious car thiefs in Northeast Ohio history, but you wouldn’t know by looking at him. The old man’s looks belied a resume of 1,000 stolen cars, by his estimates. Two stints in federal prison (1998, 2004), four in state (1983, 1987, 1993, and 1995), and untold more in local jails across five

It was just another chapter in a fascinating and complicated life where everything could be stolen and sold, and where all the damage was left in the rearview mirror.

Daniel C. Ott Sr. stole his fi rst car at the age of 13.

He was a paperboy for the Plain Dealer, and when he spotted the 1937 Plymouth coupe with the keys still in it, Courtesy U.S Marshal’s service

Dan Ott, who by his estimation has stolen more than 1,000 cars in his life.

decades hadn’t convinced him to stop either. A geriatric Gone in 60 Seconds come to life in the guise of an unassuming grandpa.

He kept going at an age when anyone else would be enjoying retirement and senior citizen discounts at the local buffet. The Golden Years for Ott meant hop-scotching across at least a dozen states, fulfi lling orders for high-end cars in an auto theft and chop shop ring for $1,200 a pop.

the decision didn’t take long.

“I drove it on my route for two weeks,” he says on a brisk afternoon this past February at a downtown Cleveland coffee shop. “I’d park it in a field, but eventually they found it.”

It’s been 65 years since Ott fi rst got behind the wheel of a car that didn’t belong to him. He’s 78 now and gets around more than pretty well for a man his age. He shuffles quickly when he walks, like he’s performing a reverse

moonwalk. Besides some surgery for an aortic aneurysm this spring, he’s in fi ne health.

He’s got a dry sense of humor — he wore a Corvette hat and jacket during one interview; he has one that he legally owns too, a red 2002 model. “It’s been checked so many times the numbers have worn off,” he says — and a damn near encyclopedic recall of his rap sheet, both public and private. He dots conversations with makes and models, each memory tethered to a car, like a kid talking about his favorite baseball cards.

The 1937 Plymouth coupe was fi rst; next was a 1969 Corvette.

Friends, enemies and cops still call him “Red” to this day, a nickname born of once strikingly ginger locks that have long since sprouted white. Five decades ago, in the late ’60s and early ’70s, he used it for the name of his bar, Red’s Tavern (also called Red’s Place), on the corner of East 110th and Union Avenue. Ott was slinging drinks at a time and place when Cleveland’s criminal underbelly was drinking on the east side, and these were Ott’s people.

He’d caught an armed robbery charge by the time he was 22 for robbing $60 from a guy heading to a card game and was introduced into notorious Cleveland mobster Shondor Birn’s circle. Ott was a regular on Murray Hill, helping to run counterfeit operations out of the theater.

Danny Greene gave him a noshow dock job.

Joining the east-side criminal melting pot were the bikers, who’d set up shop in full force, especially with the arrival of the Hells Angels Cleveland chapter in 1967.

They tormented the city with bombings and fi ghts thereafter during some of the bloodiest chapters of the city’s history.

Bikers found a home at Red’s, which didn’t go unnoticed.

The Ohio Liquor Department recommended his permits be pulled in 1967. Cleveland Councilman Leonard Dacek and others said the bar, “a hangout for motorcyclists and hippies,” had adversely affected the “maintenance of

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 13

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public decency, sobriety and good order.”

They weren’t wrong.

“In 1972 or maybe 1973,” says Ott, “there was a guy in the bar in a California Hells Angels vest. He was with a girl.

Couple of guys start talking to him, quickly fi gure out he’s not really a Hells Angel. I got a call at the bar from the [Hells Angel] clubhouse asking if I’d call them if he ever came back.

He did one Saturday. I called them up. They came down. Beat the guy to death. Made a mess of everything. Broke some tables. She went running down the street. They tried to leave without the body. I told them they had to take care of it.”

“I only stole four planes.”

– Dan Ott

Legendary Hells Angel Sonny Barger himself came to the bar a few weeks later while he was in town from California, he says. Plunked down $300 on the bar. Thanked Ott for everything he did.

Which is all by way of saying that it’s not entirely surprising what happened next, when the 1969 Corvette entered Ott’s life.

He bought it from a trio of guys for $2,800, but he and his fi rst wife were driving out to the West Coast soon so he traded in the Corvette for a Cadillac. Ott headed to California on 10-day tags, back when they gave you 10-day tags instead of 30. The dealership was supposed to mail a license plate, but they never did.

They sent another 10-day tag instead. They needed the car back. There was a problem.

“The Corvette was stolen.

There was a Highway Patrolman at the dealership when I got back and he ran it down for me. I had to give the Cadillac back too,” says Ott, who says he didn’t know that when he bought it. He’d been involved in other stuff before this — stolen cars, an arrest for receiving stolen property

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

in 1970 — but this, according to Ott, was an entry into something bigger. “I was out the money so I went looking for these guys. I found them at a chop shop at East 71st and Harvard. I went in, saw the garage, saw their operation and what they were doing. I thought from there I could modernize their situation a little better.”

He already had connections in the Mansfield area.

“So we rented U-Haul trucks and we started taking their parts and selling them down in Crestline,” he says. “I built relationships down there. And then I met some people from Oklahoma. And I met some people from Missouri.”

Ott likes to say his business is just like any other business — it’s all about word of mouth.

“I bought a house in Columbus since we were spending so much time down there,” he says. “We’d go there and do our dastardly deeds in Kentucky, Florida, North Carolina, Alabama, Indiana, Oklahoma, any place really.

Word travels. I told one coal miner in Pennsylvania I’d deliver him four Ford F250s at least four times a year. He told a guy in southern Pennsylvania and that guy wanted in too. It’s amazing it takes off the way it does.”

Within a few years, word of mouth was making Ott $30,000 to $40,000 a month.

Swap out trains for cranes in John Hughes’ 1987 fi lm and you’d have the title for a movie about Ott’s life.

He didn’t just steal cars; he stole just about anything. It didn’t matter how unwieldy or impossible. If someone wanted it, he could get it.

He had his pilot’s license.

Got it after taking classes at Cuyahoga Community College and joining a club at Hopkin’s airport. They had three planes: a little Cessna 120, a 150 and 172. Ott learned in the 120, took his pilot’s exam in the 150.

Bought a mid-’60s Cessna 182G, flew it all over the country, Florida, California. So when the chance came to nab some wings ...

“I only stole four planes,” says Ott. “I’d fl y wherever the person was selling it,

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

meet them. If you look at the locks on the door, there’s a number there. You call the manufacturer and you tell them you need a key, give them some kind of story. They mail it to you. So then I would call the fella and kind of feel him out for when he’s not going to be at the airport. I’d fl y in, park my plane, jump in his, and leave.”

His buyers, he says, usually wanted them to fl y to South America for drugs, so if they lost a plane, they lost it. They didn’t much care where it came from to begin with.

Heavy construction equipment was a much more regular part of his business, then and more recently. He’s taken trailers fi lled with merchandise and cash from the parking lot of a Columbus horse race, a tow truck from its rotating display platform at a dealership in Central Ohio, camper vans, backhoes, bulldozers ... . At various times, he could have equipped an entire construction business.

“We were taking all kinds of orders for heavy equipment,” says Ott. “Caterpillars, backhoes, whatever.

“We had a scam going,” he says. “A guy had burglarized a motor home manufacturer in Indiana. He brought back a whole box of certificates of origin. When you manufacture a car or a motor home trailer, they don’t give you a title, they give you a certificate of origin.

And we had a whole box of them.”

Ott got hooked up with a guy in Cumberland, Maryland, who had a car lot. He wasn’t doing very good business. Ott had met him through a friend of a friend, he says, in Kentucky.

Word of mouth.

“We’d go out and steal new cars in Columbus but we wouldn’t have to change the numbers or anything,” Ott says. “We put the wheels up on jacks and run some mileage on it. Then take the certificate of origin and make it out for that.

We had a girl who’d take the certificate and get a title in a company name. Then we’d take the cars to Maryland and that guy would take them to Butler,

Pennsylvania, and sell them at auction.”

Like most of his rackets, it worked long enough to make plenty of cash, and by the time anyone was the wiser — the Maryland cars were eventually connected to the Columbus thefts — he’d moved on to another gimmick.

“I’ve been stopped in stolen cars many times. I used dealer plates though,” he says. “I’m not going to say they never reported dealer plates stolen, but they’re usually reported lost or misplaced. The plates all have the same number to start and then five or six numbers or letters behind it.

When the service department opened, I’d go in the showroom and grab a dealer plate. They have customers out there driving with those plates, so they’d report it misplaced or lost.”

In the early days, the physical action of getting into and starting the car was pretty simple: Ott used a tool usually used to pull horseshoes from a pony’s feet to grab the passenger side lock from its socket. A Curtis key cutter, the same device your friendly local locksmith uses, was his best friend.

But that only worked for so long. Ott was almost exclusively taking orders for Corvettes in his twilight.

The sports car, with its hot rod allure and price tag, was among the most coveted on the road, by fans and thieves alike.

While Corvettes have never topped the rankings of moststolen vehicles in any given year by sheer volume, the ratio of Corvettes manufactured in any given year to the percent of those that are then stolen tells a scary story. In 1984, for instance, Chevy made 51,547 Corvettes. Data from the National Insurance Crime Bureau in the 20 years after shows 8,554 of them have been reported stolen. One in every six.

In 1986, GM introduced VATS (Vehicle Anti Theft System) into the Corvette to stem the tide. The extra layer of security worked so beautifully GM soon installed it in Camaros, Cadillacs and Buicks too.

It works like this: In

addition to the 10-cut key itself (introduced later, in 1995), VATS is an electrical resistor device plopped in the middle of the key. When the key is turned, a computer detects how much of the current dropped through the resistor. If it matches up, the car starts, If it doesn’t, there’s a three-minute or so delay until you can try again. (The delay was part of the design; GM figured thieves were in a hurry and wouldn’t wait around as their chances of being caught went up.)

There were 15 codes, though GM discontinued the lowest resistance in 1989 because of technical issues.

The fact that VATS worked at first wasn’t surprising, but neither was the eventual discovery of ways to beat the system. Like most security measures, give criminals enough time and they’ll figure out a way to hack their way around the roadblocks.

“I had to go to the dealership, I had to see the car, and I had to have the key in my hand,” says Ott. “I had this thing the size of a cigarette pack. I can make any key, you know. The hard part is figuring out what key to make. I had a decoder [called an interrogator]. So while the salesman was doing whatever, I’d put it in there and see what VATS code it came back with.

Sevens and nines are the most popular ones. You have to buy different key blanks, a bunch of them. You call up the supplier and you say send me 10 No. 2s, 10 No. 4s, etc. So I had all these key blanks.

“They’re getting smarter with their keys, putting them in a lock box, so if there’s a missing key, they search everywhere high and low for that key,” he says. “But that’s the big dealerships, not the mom-and-pop shops.

As fobs were introduced, allowing remote unlocking, Ott and others predictably adapted.

“I still had to go to the dealership and clone the fobs,” he says. “You have the original one and you have a blank one and you put them together so they mate. The beautiful part was the dealership was always looking for skid marks, like the car was dragged off by a tow

truck or something. They had no concept of how cars were being taken.”

When it came to evading other security measures, Ott took advantage of your friendly auto mechanic’s desire to offer help to the 9-to-5 crowd before they have to be at work.

“A lot of them have gates.

You have to wait until 7 a.m.

That’s when the service department opens, before everyone else gets there,” he says. “The service guy opens the door and I’d be the next

thing out of there.”

Had things gone differently, Ott might have used that intricate knowledge to help dealerships instead of ripping them off.

When he was in federal prison in Lexington, Kentucky, in the early ’80s — “If you were going to do time anywhere, you’d want it to be there,” he says of the accommodations — he met a guy who’d been sent away for embezzling millions of dollars. They shared stories.

He was a smart kid.

“He said, ‘What you oughta do is write GM and see if they’re interested in hiring you to beef up security.’ So he wrote me a letter and I sent it out to GM and Chrysler and Ford,” Ott says. “GM sent me a letter back saying to get in touch when I got out, so I did. I went up to Detroit, got cleared by my asshole parole officer to go with a travel permit, showed him the letter. I talked to this guy and he asked how long it would take for me to steal a Chevy or a Cadillac. I told him

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 19

FEATURE I took them off lots, that was my forte. He says that’s exactly what he’s talking about. How do we beef it up?”

So Ott was dispatched to a dealership about a mile down the road. He returned with a car not long after.

“They called the dealership and told them they had the car or whatever, and they offered me $45,000 a year to travel around the country educating dealerships on security,” he says. “I came back home and, like three weeks later, I got another letter from GM saying they couldn’t use me at this time. I guess the FBI told them whatever information I got I would use against GM.” In a bit of self reflection that’s hard to believe some 30odd years later, Ott says, “It was a good opportunity for me to get a job. My whole life might have been changed.”

Spend any time with Dan

20

Ott, you hear stories. In his 60 years committing crimes across most of the United States, he’s stockpiled more than a few, all of which are hard to believe on one level or another.

“He’s lived quite the life,” says Paul Mancino, a lawyer who has represented Ott a couple times. Carolyn Kucharski, a federal public defender who represented Ott in his last case, echoed the sentiment.

The stories come pouring out of Ott, sometimes without prompts or segues. They’re related in matter-of-fact language, absent emotion or inflection, like a high-schooler relaying to his dad what happened at school that day.

What they lack in performance value they more than make up for in drama. They are tall tales, possibly and probably true, most unverifi able. They are part of what makes Dan Ott endearing. As one police officer who’s investigated Ott over the years told me, “It was too bad he was a criminal. He would have been a neat guy to have a beer with and talk to.”

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Ott says at one point he was running heavy construction equipment to a law enforcement official in Sarasota Springs, Florida. He doesn’t mention him by name but says the FBI was keenly interested in the officer’s offthe-clock habits for reasons like this: “The guy wanted this painting stolen out of Lucille Ball’s house on Bird Key,” Ott says. “He says, ‘You’ll have 20 minutes after the alarm goes off. The call will come and you’ll have 20 minutes before anyone goes down. I want that painting.’”

So, Ott says, he and a friend broke in. The painting, incidentally, was of some water and waves, not anything he personally liked, but they took it and some other stuff — “a bunch of nothing, really,” says Ott. There’s no record that the I Love Lucy star ever lived in Sarasota, though it’s long been rumored. A Sarasota HeraldTribune gossip columnist fi rst mentioned the idea on Sept. 6, 1971, and the gossip spread over the years from

there, to the point that real estate agents have touted the celebrity’s name in connection with the address — 22 Seagull Lane — ever since. It’s just not true, however. Sarasota Magazine called it the “oldest, most disproven rumor in Sarasota” in a 2012 piece on the property.

Which, of course, doesn’t make Ott’s story false. The official who dispatched Ott to pilfer the painting could have believed Ball really lived there, after all. A similar streak of unverifi able veracity runs through Ott’s other yarns, spun from highways east to west.

“We got Elizabeth Taylor’s car,” he says. “Stole her car.

Her dog was in there, a little tiny dog. I gave the dog to my cousin. We didn’t know whose it was at fi rst, but her stuff was in the glovebox. It was a long time ago, late ’70s or early ’80s. It was in the Sands parking lot.” (Without a specific date, the Las Vegas police department said it could neither determine the veracity of the claim nor conduct a search for a possible police report.)

FEATURE “We got Flip Wilson’s car too,” Ott says. “He was an entertainer. We got his Mercedes, a red Mercedes.

We had a guy drive it back to Cleveland but he got busted in Indiana someplace.”

For all the times Ott’s name made the papers, there were plenty of other times his exploits were displayed front and center without his name.

“I stole a gold 1970 Cadillac in Berea one time,” he says. “I gave it to my wife to drive. I ended up taking it back to the house a year later and put it back in the driveway. I don’t know why I did that. I guess just for fun.”

He says someone wrote a story about it. It could have been the Plain Dealer or the defunct Cleveland Press or the community newspaper.

The same goes for the time he stole a car with a bunch of Bibles in the back. It turned out it belonged to a church group. Someone told the local paper all about it. Ott saw it and dumped the Bibles in a donation bin and called the group and told them where to fi nd them. “‘Thief with a heart,’ or something like that, was the headline,” he says.

And there was the cow.

Ott used to spend weekends at a campground in Northfield, Ohio, by Fell Lake Park, a long since gone family-friendly pool and summer hangout that neighbored Acadia Farms, the 900-acre estate of Cyrus Eaton, at the time one of the richest and most controversial businessmen in America. Eaton, in addition to being a lightning rod for public sentiment by openly advocating for an ease in Cold War relations with Russia, was also an avid rancher. He raised prize-winning Shorthorn cattle, the herd numbering around 300, the largest flock at the time east of the Mississippi. He counted Nikita Khrushchev as a close friend and sent the Soviet premier a prize bull in 1957. Khrushchev returned the favor by sending Eaton three white stallions in 1959.

“One morning me and my cousin were there and this

cow’s at the fence,” says Ott. “And he looks at me and says, ‘What’s stopping us from stealing a cow?’”

So they stole the cow, fi guring it would keep the campground grill fi lled for the rest of the summer. They took it to a market on East 55th Street, right up to the front door. The butcher, bewildered at the sight of a live animal, told them they had to kill it fi rst. “I don’t cut up live cows,” the guy said. So they took it to a guy in Richfield who quickly noticed this wasn’t your standard beef cow. “That’s one strange-looking cow,” he said.

“One morning me and my cousin were there and this cow’s at the fence, and he looks at me and says, ‘What’s stopping us from stealing a cow?’”

– Dan Ott

But the guy killed and skinned it anyway and they took it back to the butcher.

A few weeks later, the gravity of the heist became apparent.

“There was this little fourpage paper for the community,” he says. “And there was one page, real big, offering a $25,000 reward for the cow. It was some prize-winning cow or something and belonged to Cyrus Eaton. I asked my cousin what we should do. He said we should send him a hamburger.”

It’s hard not to love the stories, and Ott seems to relish the chance to brag a little, but each story has a victim, whether they’re celebrities or regular Joes. One former law enforcement officer who dealt with Ott over three decades says Ott was insistent that he never physically hurt anyone.

But he surrounded himself with those who did, and he

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hurt plenty of people himself in very real ways. That reality seems to be lost on Ott. He cares about many people — his family, his friends — though he admits he’s behaved awfully toward both at times. But the part of his soul that should feel compassion for his victims was long ago siphoned off: maybe because it never really existed in the fi rst place and was thus easily disposed of, or because to let it linger would make what he did — what he wanted to do, what he never stopped doing — impossible.

“I took a Camaro out of Brookpark Road one time, New York license plates,” he says.

“It turned out to be people on their honeymoon. All their clothes were in the trunk, and the box of money from the wedding. I got home and I opened all the envelopes. My wife comes over and asks what I’m doing. I say, ‘What does it look like I’m doing?’ I told her I found it. She said, ‘Those are those people’s wedding gifts.

You just ruined their lives.’ I told her, ‘Here’s all the cards.

Send everyone thank-you notes if you feel that bad about it.’

There was like $3,200 in the box. I feel a little bad about it. It probably put a dent in starting their life out.”

Steal cars as often and as long as Ott has, and you’re bound to get in trouble, no matter your talents. Combine the raw number of thefts — again, north of 1,000 — with the number of people involved in the front and back ends of the business, factor in their skills, abilities and motivation for self preservation should they get pinched, and multiply the chances by the number of jurisdictions and agencies interested in your escapade -— local police, sheriff’s offices, the Ohio State Highway Patrol, various task forces, the FBI — and the odds of ending up behind bars are pretty high.

“You never really think about getting arrested,” he says. “You’re making so much money. There’s always the chance. I’m sure I thought

about it a little back then. But you think if you get arrested that you’ll have a nice little nest egg.”

Ott has spent a good many years of his late adult life in prison, though he hasn’t always helped his cause by fl ying below the radar or shying away from authorities.

He’s instead routinely engaged the men and women with badges in an antagonistic game of cops and robbers that only he seems to enjoy.

For example: Ott fi rst blipped on the FBI’s radar in the late ’70s, when he stole an FBI surveillance van. There are, naturally, confl icting reports on whether they’d been looking into Ott prior to the theft, but the very real verifi able fact is that sometime around 1977, Ott made off with one of their vehicles.

“There was just a bunch of radios in the back,” says Ott. “I didn’t really know what they were for, but I fi gured it was the FBI. I took it down to Mansfield. They wanted to make a case against us because they were pissed about the radio and the van. They were embarrassed. I’m not even supposed to talk about the van anymore.”

The surveillance van had been under the purview of FBI agent Keith Thornton, a man who would work Ott’s case for the next few years with the help of one of Ott’s accomplices.

“One of the guys we were working with was giving all this information to the feds,” he says. “We told him, ‘We know you’re cooperating, just let us know what you told them so we can clean our act up.’ So he did and we spent like two days going to different places we had stuff — a farm in Wayne County, a house in Richfield — putting it different places.”

Ott lived near Bath, a suburb of Akron, and there was a Holiday Inn up the street where he would drink. He’d also leave the bar’s number for people to get in touch with him.

“This barmaid would take messages for me,” he says.

“I don’t want to give them my number. So I go in one night, ask her if there are any messages and she says no. I see this guy and he’s staring at me. Never seen him before.

Joseph Rosebrook

He seems awfully interested in me. So I had another drink and he comes over and says, ‘Keith Thornton, FBI.’ I say, ‘Dan Ott, Bath.’ That was the first time I met Keith Thornton.”

They’d interact on a professional level as Thornton put together the case that would see Ott sentenced to eight years in federal prison. But even when Thornton moved on to the Summit County Sheriff’s Department, and even after he retired, Ott was nearby.

Literally. He bought a house six doors down from Thornton just so he could “wave at him when he got his mail.” They’re neighbors to this day.

“I didn’t have enough sense to quit aggravating them I guess,” says Ott. “I used to screw with them. I’d get in my car to leave the house in the morning and I’d see two cars following me. I’d go down and off ramp and there they were.

So I’d drive to all the way to Sandusky and get some ice cream and then go home.”

Thornton, unsurprisingly, didn’t respond to a request

Chad South

to comment for this story, nor did a roster of other law enforcement officials who investigated Ott over the years, including John Paskin of the National Insurance Crime Bureau, who worked for the Ohio State Highway Patrol during Ott’s golden years.

But there are a handful of officers, however, who are fond of the man in a way and who did talk to Scene. Because Dan Ott has stories, and many of them have been beneficial to law enforcement. The Vegas odds on someone with Ott’s track record landing in jail are pretty high; the Vegas odds on someone like him staying out as long as he has say he’s learned to play the game. Current and former officers described a mutually beneficial relationship over the years. If a friend was in trouble — say, a daughter of a friend who had recently passed away and who was picked up on a meth charge — Ott had a card to turn over to get her help. If he were in some serious shit himself, he had bigger cards to reveal.

Jeff Rosebrook

One former officer recalled Ott helping him on a murder case in Cuyahoga County as far back as 1987. The Plain Dealer covered a case in 1996 where Ott testified against a man named Ronald Dudas who was accused of offering $2,500 to anyone who would break the hand of Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Judge Thomas Patrick Curran. (Dudas claimed Ott was just trying to lessen his sentence by lying. In 2005, Dudas was charged with trying to hire a hitman from jail to kill Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Judge David Matia.)

“He’s a career criminal,” says one current officer who’s dealt with Ott. “He would call and I knew we were about to engage in business of a sort. I couldn’t use him as a confidential informant because his criminal record was too bad, but he could provide me information and I could take that information and make the arrest on my own. His information was always spot on.

The only thing he wouldn’t do is say anything about the Hells

Angels; I think he considered them family. Mongols and Pagans, sure. But no one wearing a red and white patch.”

Ott had built a relationship with the motorcycle club since his early days on the east side of Cleveland back in the late 1960s and early ’70s. Most years, he’d head to Sturgis to join the annual biker party on his Harley too. “But when it came to a shitbag corner dope dealer or someone with guns, it was different.

“He calls me one time and asks if we’re looking for a guy passing fraudulent American Express checks,” the officer says. “I say yeah, I think the Secret Service is too. He says, ‘Well, I got him in my car. Call your buddy and tell him I’m going to be going northbound at this intersection. Have him parked on the eastbound side. I’m going to run a stop sign. Have your friend pull me over. My friend in the car has warrants out for his arrest.’

“Sure as shit, Ott runs the stop sign and the guy pulls him over,” he says. “I had my

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 23

FEATURE radio on. There’s a foot pursuit.

My guy is chasing him, I’m listening. He calls me up. ‘That cop you sent is really fast, because he caught him. Good thing you sent a fast one.’”

That’s just one. The officer has seven or eight more, all along the same theme: When Ott is in trouble, he’ll tell you something, but he’s not going to give up everything at fi rst, and he’s only going to tell you what he thinks you need to know.

“He calls me up one time and says, ‘Hey, I’m in trouble,’” the officer says.

Ott had been arrested in March 2008 in Akron for breaking and entering. An off-duty narcotics officer had come upon the old man loading appliances from a house that was for sale into a truck in February. Ott knew it was a cop and the cop knew Ott was a bad guy, so the cop pulls his gun and Ott hops in the car and drives off.

But they picked up Ott in March — they knew who they were looking for, after all, they’d seen his license plate; they were just curious how he did it — and Ott called the officer and the officer asked him how he got in the house and Ott told him: He’d known the realtor and her contract wasn’t going to be renewed by the sellers and she turned over the lockbox code as a fi nal effyou.

“He wanted to know what it would take to not send him to prison,” the officer says. “After talking to the prosecutor, I told him it had to be substantial.

So he tells me: ‘How about you check with your property crime people and see if they’re missing a $30,000 Ditch Witch.

I might know where it is.’ They, of course, were missing one. I call him back and say meet me tomorrow morning at 9. ‘I think I can do that,’ he says. ‘It’s going to be real lucky if I can fi nd this thing, but I think I can do that.’ Sure as shit, he pulls up at 9 the next morning in his truck, a $30,000 Ditch Witch on a trailer. ‘Call the prosecutor,’ he says.”

Just business, of a sort, if an odd one for someone who

24

vilifies those he believes have snitched on him.

In the mid-2000s, Dan Ott was taking Corvette orders from Joseph Rosebrook in Ohio’s Logan County. The man who the Columbus Dispatch called the Chop Shop King of Ohio operated what authorities believed to be one of the largest and best-organized operations in the nation. He’d done so for more than two decades in the heart of Ohio.

That was both a testament to his skill —detectives say he compartmentalized his

with them. In November of that year, Lattimer disappeared.

He was last seen getting into Rosebrook’s car, according to the Columbus Dispatch.

He’s never been found or seen again.

Authorities tried again, successfully this time, in 2004, raiding Rosebrook’s 75acre property after a lengthy investigation. Rosebrook was on house arrest awaiting trial on a slew of charges resulting from the raid when he reached out to Dan Ott. Rosebrook wanted a potential witness dead. He offered Ott $2,000 upfront and $13,000 afterward to kill Curt Frazier.

“[Rosebrook] never really knew where I lived, just that it was a suburb of Cleveland, he never really knew my name. We’ve done business for years and years and years, but all he ever called me was Red.” – Dan Ott

business so that no one arm knew much about the other — and his ruthlessness. Over the years, authorities had tried numerous times to bring Rosebrook down with the help of informants. But witnesses had a funny way of disappearing.

Back in October of 1983, cops picked up an associate of Rosebrook’s named Ray Payne. Payne took a deal and was set to testify against Rosebrook when trial began on June 13, 1984. On June 11, Payne climbed into the van in his driveway, turned the key, and the van exploded. He wasn’t killed, but three months later, after he recovered at the hospital under the watch of guards, he testified. He ranted about Rosebrook’s attempt on his life, but the case was about breaking and entering. A mistrial was declared.

In 1999, Logan County detectives thought they had fi nally scored another big break when a Rosebrook associate, 18-year-old Mike Lattimer, began cooperating

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

The dealings were caught on a wiretap.

There are two versions of exactly how that transpired.

Ott says that he was never going to kill Frazier, that he told Rosebrook he would fi nd someone to do it but that the wiretap had already been set up — their conversation was simply caught in the moment.

Logan County detectives tell a different version. The deal had already been in place when Ott got caught stealing a car there. He came forward, said he had bigger fi sh.

“He was given a deal,” says one detective. “If you wire up and get incriminating evidence against Joe, we won’t charge you.”

Officers got what they needed and Rosebrook caught an additional conspiracy to commit murder charge on top of the stolen property items. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

Rosebrook was allegedly not too happy with Dan Ott’s role in putting him behind bars.

So, according to investigators,

he talked to 41-year-old Chad South, a guy he’d known very well in Logan County who also happened to be serving time in the same prison. Rosebrook’s brother, Jeff, a Perry township trustee, would facilitate payment for the hit once South left prison and killed Ott. Which is how Chad South allegedly came to be in Dan Ott’s Burton township house with a shotgun and mask the morning of May 26, 2006. How exactly he was so wrong is unclear. Authorities believe he might have known that he had the wrong Dan Ott given the old man he was looking for and the young man he found, but the young man ended up dead nevertheless. “[Rosebrook] never really knew where I lived, just that it was a suburb of Cleveland,” Ott says. “He never really knew my name. We’ve done business for years and years and years, but all he ever called me was Red.” Joseph Rosebrook, Jeff Rosebrook and Chad South were arrested on June 1, 2015, for Ott’s death. The murderfor-hire plot gone wrong made national news.

“It was only six months in [after the killing] that this theory began to evolve,” says Geauga County Sheriff Daniel McLelland. “The issues with this group, you have to understand, this group is known to do this.

The crime stems from witness intimidation. So people, in general, were reluctant to talk. From the start, this was basically an attempt to silence somebody.”

Alleged triggerman Chad South and the Rosebrook brothers were arraigned in late June. Ott’s parents, Leroy and Linda, were in the courtroom.

“I know how bad these people are and they kill witnesses and stuff,” Ott’s father Leroy told the Geauga County Maple Leaf. “My hope is nobody else is killed.”

The father was mainly concerned that people in the neighborhood still believed that his son had somehow done something to invite trouble.

“They need to know he didn’t cause his own death and he’s not responsible,” Leroy Ott told the paper. “It was a mistaken identity.”

Dan Ott had never mentioned

the other Dan Ott, or the Rosebrooks for that matter, before the arrests were announced. Asked about the news a few weeks later, Ott fills in some blanks. Authorities had called him back when Ott was murdered, and there’d been at least one attempt on his life after that, he says: A car sprayed bullets at him in his driveway one morning.

As for the unfortunate soul who did nothing to put himself in danger except share his name, the guy with the green thumb and the girlfriend and the bulldog named Mulligan, Ott doesn’t elaborate much but says, “The more I read about it … the guy worked at a nursery. He was just a Joe Blow civilian.”

If the job offer from GM was a chance at becoming a normal citizen that Ott never got to take, the bullets sprayed at his truck were another in a string of chances he chose not to take.

With the Logan County operation shut down, Ott found other outlets for his talents.

For four years after diming out Rosebrook and dodging another courtroom, Ott stole Corvettes for a chop shop ring based out of Northeast Ohio. That he avoided arrest during that time wasn’t entirely surprising. He’d done it before, and age hadn’t dulled his skills.

“One of the lead investigators said he was one the best he’d ever seen at eluding police,” says one current officer familiar with the case. “And in my career, he was one of the most sophisticated criminals I’d ever dealt with.”

The feds finally got their man though. In June 2010, aircraft tracked Ott as he dropped off a stolen red Corvette in a garage.

Hours later, two unmarked cars and two Ohio State Highway Patrol cars pulled Ott over on Route 8. He was driving his truck at the time. Hitched to the back was a trailer he’d stolen from a parking lot.

“I was so sure of myself,” he says. He thinks a guy he was working with ended up talking to the feds after being caught selling meth, and he might have, but authorities had also been tracking Ott’s cell phone to towers near dealerships where

Corvettes had disappeared. Like the one in North Canton and the one in Pennsylvania. (Ott told investigators he did the Pennsylvania dealer a favor by taking a 2003 Corvette, calling it a piece of junk.)

Ott was indicted for stealing 14 Corvettes in all, worth some $700,000. He told investigators at the time of his arrest they probably missed another four.

“They didn’t know half of it,” he says now. “They still don’t.”

The dominoes fell from there.

Sixty-one-year-old Ronald Mysyk of Westlake and alleged co-conspirator William Rocco of Macedonia were at the end of the trail. They’d allegedly operated a $1.5-million chop shop with garages in Bedford, Brunswick and Sagamore Hills, according to a 2014 RICO filing in Cuyahoga County.

For his part, Ott was sentenced in 2011 to 51 months in federal prison in North Carolina and ordered to pay $533,000 in restitution. He served three of the four years.

Dan Ott still lives in the same Akron suburb where he’s neighbors with former FBI agent Keith Thornton. He did end up building a nice little legal nest egg for himself.

He’s got a vacation property in Florida and a slew of rental properties he owns and works on. He’s still got his truck and the red 2002 Corvette.

“I’m sure if a Corvette came up missing, they’ll come knocking at my door,” Ott says. “But there’s nothing to follow me about now.

[Ohio State Highway Patrol Detective Mike] McCarthy is the latest guy who has it out for me. I’m sure he thinks I’m still doing stuff. It’s all too involved. I’m too old for that stuff now.”

You’d like to take Dan Ott at his word, but it’s hard to.

“He will never stop doing this,” says one current officer.

“His rap sheet is as tall as you with real small print. He will be committing crimes till the day he dies.”

vgrzegorek@clevescene.com t@vincethepolack magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 25

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Photo by Steve Wagner

GET OUT WED

everything you should do this week 07/29

OUTDOORS

All About the Gateway A program featuring free guided walking tours of five distinct neighborhoods in downtown Cleveland, Take a Hike explores the Gateway District, Warehouse District, Civic Center, Playhouse Square neighborhood and Canal Basin Park in the Flats. Each tour lasts approximately 90 minutes and features actors and actresses portraying historic figures from Cleveland’s past. Today’s Gateway District Tour takes place at 6 p.m.

Meet at the Arcade. (Jeff Niesel) 401 Euclid Ave., clevelandgatewaydistrict.com.

COMEDY

Funny Lady Seriously optimistic comic Karen Rontowski comes to Cleveland tonight. The creepily cheery funny lady tends to rush through her stand-up without taking a breath.

Told by her therapist she’s “in denial,” Rontowski jokes that she makes the best of the worst situations. She’s performing tonight at 8 at Hilarities and has additional shows scheduled for 8 tomorrow night and for 7 on Sunday night. Though you won’t find any blue humor in her routine, Rontowski’s show is still 21 and over.

Tickets are $18. (Brittany Rees) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

NIGHTLIFE

Kulchur Clash Today and continuing through September, the Gordon Square Arts District hosts Patio Kulchur, “an

Los is More A band from rural Mexico, Los Cojolites formed some 20 years ago with one mission: To recover the music and art of the indigenous people of Vera Cruz, Mexico. The band’s music closely resembles flamenco; for an example, check out the acoustic guitar work in a song such as “Sembrando Flores.” Two of the group’s four albums have been nominated for Grammys. The group performs tonight at 7:30 at Ohio City Stages, the outdoor pop-up venue set up outside the Transformer Station. Vendors will be on hand to sell food and drinks.

Admission is free. (Niesel) 1460 West 29th St., 216-938-5429, transformerstation.org.

MUSIC

An Opera for Everyone The legendary Aida, Verdi’s epic opera set in Egypt, has been translated, adapted and enjoyed for centuries. In fact, it has even been on Broadway for a seriously successful run. Tonight, it’s being revived again. Fathom Events, the live broadcaster of the Metropolitan Opera, brings Aida to the silver screen in HD, in an encore performance that was originally transmitted in 2012.

You can catch all four hours of it tonight at Regal Cinema at Crocker Park and at Cinemark Valley View; it screens at 7. (Rees) fathomevents.com.

FOOD

Food Trucks Aplenty Walnut Wednesday, the unofficial holiday for Clevelanders who work or play downtown during lunchtime, is back, thanks to the people at Downtown Cleveland Alliance. Today from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., some 30 food trucks will gather at Perk Plaza at Chester Commons to serve up delicious eats. Live entertainment, usually of the musical variety, is also expected.

Follow the Downtown Cleveland Alliance on Facebook for weekly updates on vendors, entertainment offerings and more. (Alaina Nutile) East 12th Street and Walnut Avenue, facebook.com/ DowntownClevelandAlliance.

MUSIC

The Cleveland World Festival returns to Rockefeller Park. See: Sunday.

MUSIC

evening of art in the arts district.”

Merchants in the area will present music, theatre, dance and visual arts on their patios from 6 until 9 p.m.

The event follows the Gordon Square Farmers Market, which runs from 4 till 7. Maps of the area and listings of the events will be available at the venues as well as at the Gordon Square Farmers Market. (Niesel) gordonsquare.org.

HISTORY

Larry’s Legacy Larry Doby was the first AfricanAmerican to play in the Majors for the American League. He made his debut in 1947 in Cleveland a mere three months after Jackie Robinson made his National League debut. Larry Doby Jr. and Jim “Mudcat” Grant, who played for the 1954 Indians and was Doby’s roommate, will be on hand tonight to talk about the man’s accomplishments. The event begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage. Tickets are $12 ($6 for members) and program includes admission to the current exhibit, Chasing Dreams: Baseball &

Becoming American. (Niesel) 2929 Richmond Rd., Beachwood, 216-593-0575, maltzmuseum.org.

FILM

A Look Back at Terror A new documentary released just last year, Forbidden Films showcases clips from dozens of Nazi propaganda films from the 1940s that are still being suppressed by the German government. Three hundred of these films were banned after World War II, but just 40 of them are being withheld from the public today. This fact alone lures viewers toward the films. This documentary debates the issue of whether or not the films should be released, and it includes commentary from scholars and other viewers who have seen bootlegged copies.

Ultimately, the documentary leaves it up to the viewer to decide where they stand on the issue. The movie screens tonight at 7 at the Cleveland Museum of Art and it shows again at 11 a.m. on Sunday. Tickets are $9. (Elizabeth Manno) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

Patio Party During the summer months, the folks at Luxe Kitchen & Lounge make use of their outdoor patio to host Luxe Kitchen & Lounge Songwriters on the Patio. A casual affair that features some of the city’s best singersongwriters, it offers a chance to hear some great music in an intimate setting. Tonight, singer-songwriter Daniel Huszai and Nights singer Jenna Fournier will perform from 7 to 9. In the event of rain, music will be rescheduled. Updates are posted on Luxe’s Facebook page. Admission is free. (Niesel) 6605 Detroit Ave., 216-920-0600, luxecleveland.com.

SPORTS

A Royal Battle In the first half of the baseball season, the Kansas City Royals proved that last year’s trip to the World Series was no fluke. These guys are for real. By the All-Star break, they had one of the best records in the league. The Tribe played them pretty evenly in that first half but they’ll need to do better than that to make up some ground in the

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 27

GET OUT division. They get that chance today at 12:10 as they conclude a threegame series against the Royals at Progressive Field. Tickets start at $10.

(Niesel) 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, clevelandindians.com.

MUSIC

TS TICKE$5!

JUST

Fifteen classic films.

One BIG screen.

playhousesquare.org/cinema

A String Thing Not every teenager wants to play electric guitar. Some talented teens take up the violin. You can see the best of the best at the 2015 Thomas and Evon Cooper International Competition for Violin, featuring 22 musicians ranging in age from 14 to 18. The teens compete for a top prize of $10,000 and three full-tuition scholarships to attend the Oberlin Conservatory. After four days of performances on the Oberlin campus, the Recital Finals take place tonight at 7 at Warner Concert Hall. The Concerto Finals are slated for 8 p.m. this Friday at Severance Hall, as the three finalists each perform a complete concerto with the Cleveland Orchestra.

Cleveland’s classical public radio station WCLV 104.9 FM will broadcast the Recital Finals live from Oberlin.

Everything that happens at the college is free. Tickets for the Concerto Finals at Severance range from $15 to $25.

For more information, including a complete schedule and participant information, go to the website. (Niesel) oberlin.edu/cooper.

goddess Bella Sin hosts alongside several guests from across the country and around the globe. The event kicks off tonight at 8 and continues through Saturday. Tickets are $20 to $50.

(Rees) 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

OUTDOORS

Civic Pride Need another excuse to hit the city sidewalks? Today’s Take a Hike program explores downtown’s Civic Center. (Other free weekly tours explore the Gateway District, Warehouse District, Playhouse Square neighborhood and Canal Basin Park in the Flats.) Each tour lasts approximately 90 minutes and features actors and actresses portraying historic figures from Cleveland’s past.

In 2014, the Take a Hike program received a Dominion Community Impact Award. Meet at 6 p.m. at the Old Stone Church. (Niesel) 91 Public Square, clevelandgatewaydistrict.com.

FILM

A Family Favorite Head to P.E.A.C.E Park in Coventry tonight and every Thursday after dark for movies in the park, a drivein style atmosphere with the added perk of being absolutely outdoors and absolutely free. This week’s feature film is the family favorite Big Hero 6, the story of a boy, his new and unusual robot friend, and their quest to save their city. The free screening starts at 9. (Hetrick) coventryvillage.org.

FILM

Welcome to the Jungle At this point, going to the pool every day is probably getting old. Take a break from the heat and check out the $1 Family Film Series at the Capitol Theatre in Ohio City. This week’s feature is the classic Robin Williams film Jumanji, the story of a mysterious board game that draws players into a real-life jungle adventure. It screens today at 10 a.m. at the Capitol Theatre. (Dana Hetrick) 1390 West 65th St., 216-651-7295, clevelandcinemas.com.

THUR 07/30 NIGHTLIFE

F O L L O W U S AT

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/B OUNC ENIG H TC LUB HING EL OUNG E /B OUNC ENIG H TC LUB

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Aim to Tease Tonight, the Beachland Ballroom is ready to take you back in time to when strip clubs were a little more tasteful.

The 5th Annual International Burlesque Show is here, showcasing Cleveland and the world’s best vintageinspired dancers. Local burlesque

MUSIC

The Great Outdoors For the past 29 years, singersongwriter Mike Wojtila has worked as a one-man band, a duo, a trio, a full band, and even a DJ. His band, known as the Mike Wojtila Band, consists of Wojtila on piano and vocals, Lisa Blair on vocals, Eddie Rodick III on guitar and vocals and Wojtila’s brother, Dan, on sax, clarinet, and vocals. They play music that spans genres and decades, including jazz, oldies, Motown, rock, pop, and country. He performs with Patty C and the Guys at Sims Park as part of a free outdoor show. It takes place from 6 to 9 p.m. (Manno) 23131 Lake Shore Blvd., Euclid, 216-481-8995, cityofeuclid.com.

FAMLY FUN

Ice Cream in the Park Stay cool in the heat at the Fairview Park Ice Cream Social. Come meet your neighbors every Thursday night at Fairview Park in Ohio City

Twilight

Friday, August 7

Cleveland Metroparks Zoo

at the Zoo

7:00 p.m. to midnight VIP Party presented by Scene 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. presented by

Buy tickets now at ClevelandZooSociety.org FEATURING:

1988 Abby Normal and the Detroit Lean Almost Famous Armstrong Bearcat Billy Likes Soda CRAIC Disco Inferno Faction Cleveland Funkology Jah Messengers Joe Bell & The Swing Lizards The Madison Crawl Robbing Mary Rock the House Live!

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Twilight at the Zoo presented by Medical Mutual spotlights 18 local bands playing pop, rock, reggae, swing, country and blues.

Admission for all partygoers includes cover charge, small bites, complimentary Samuel Adams beer, Angry Orchard, wine and soda. Don’t miss the wildest party of the summer!

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LET’S BE FRIENDS! Like us on Facebook for event updates and chances to win great prizes and event tickets!

Stage Sponsors:

106.5 The Lake, Cleveland Gladiators/Lake Erie Monsters, Door to Door Organics, KISS FM, Mace Security International, Inc., WEST Forwarding Services, WGAR, WMJI

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Facebook.com/clevezoosociety #wildaboutCLE 6/30/2015 10:49:28 AM

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 29

Sit down with your guests.

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while enjoying some free ice cream.

If you aren’t looking to satiate your sweet tooth, this event also features arts and activities that are fun for families. It takes place from 7 to 9 p.m. (Hetrick) West 38th St. between Franklin and Woodbine, ohiocity.org. comedy

Jam On The Angry Ladies of Improv has hosted the Cleveland Improv Jam for four years now. A few years back, Scene described the show as “fierce, formidable and very funny.”

The event begins with a short-form set of improv games, followed by a longform improv set. The event begins at 8 tonight at Sachsenheim Hall. Arrive at 7:30 if you want to sign up and perform. Admission is free. (Niesel) 7001 Denison Ave., 216-651-0888 facebook.com/ClevelandImprovJam. comedy

Local Laughs Shop local. Eat local. Laugh local.

That’s what Cleveland-native Nelsin Davis hopes you’ll do tonight when he performs at the Improv. Davis has been making his rounds through the state for the past few years, leaving a trail of side-split Ohioans in his wake. The situational comic focuses on storytelling, so expect more of a clever audiobook than a standup set.

Davis stands up at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $12. (Rees) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.

Family Fun

A Need to Read Need something exciting to do with your kids during the summer? You can join the Childrens Museum of Cleveland every Thursday morning at their Hooked on Books program.

The immersive interlude gives kids a new experience as they learn through songs and stories. The program is included with your $8 museum admission; it begins at 11 a.m.

(Alexandra Hintz) 10730 Euclid Ave., 216-791-KIDS, clevelandchildrensmuseum.org.

FRI

07/31

comedy

Confessions of an Insomniac Known as the host of Comedy Central’s Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show, Dave Attell is also a great standup comedian, writer and actor.

A New York native, he graduated from NYU in 1987 with a degree in communications. During the day, he

30

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

worked crappy jobs and did standup at night. After getting national exposure courtesy of David Letterman, his career took off. The caffeinated comic has a rapid-fire delivery that suggests he has trouble turning off his mind.

He performs tonight at 7:30 and 10 at Hilarities and has shows scheduled for 7 and 9:30 p.m. tomorrow too. Tickets start at $30. (Hintz) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com. music

Feeling Irie The Midwest Reggae Fest is one of the longest running reggae festivals in the world. This year’s event — the 24th! — takes place today, tomorrow and Sunday at Clay’s Park & Resort in North Lawrence. Regional acts such as Carlos Jones, Rhodes Street Rude Boys, Ark Band and Flex Crew will be on hand throughout the weekend.

Jamaica’s Mighty Diamonds headline tomorrow night. Tickets are $70 in advance for the weekend, $80 at the gate. Find the full rundown on the website. (Niesel) 13190 Patterson Rd., North Lawrence, 330-854-6691, midwestreggaefest.com. music

From the Front Porch Feed your love for live music by checking out the LakewoodAlive Front Porch Concert Series. This free Friday-evening concert series showcases bands from a wide variety of genres right on the front porch of the Lakewood Public Library. Grab a blanket and come hang out for some local music in your very own backyard or, um, front porch, I guess.

Tonight’s concert takes place at 7 p.m. and features the Admirables. (Hetrick) 15425 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216-226-8275, lakewoodalive.com. comedy

He’s Got the Look If you’re going to see comedian John Witherspoon tonight at the Improv, you better dress up because “you got to coordinate,” as he puts it. That catchphrase is just one of the comedian’s many one-liners. He’s worked alongside famous comedians such as Ice Cube, Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy and Chris Tucker and starred as “Pops” on The Wayans Brothers.

But he might be most well known for voicing “Grandad” on the animated series The Boondocks. His standup is even similar to his Boondocks character: It features fast-paced jokes that keep coming at you. Witherspoon simply has a look about him that’s funny. He doesn’t even need to tell jokes because his facial expressions can make anyone laugh. He performs

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 31

GET OUT tonight at 7:30 at the Improv and has shows scheduled through Sunday.

Tickets are $25. (William Hoffman) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.

FILM

Lost and Found The Khmer Rouge’s reign has tried to hide Cambodia’s once-vibrant music scene between the 1950s and ’70s, but Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten: Cambodia’s Lost Rock and Roll seeks to put the spotlight back on this seemingly forgotten music. Prior to its takeover by communism, Cambodian society embraced many facets of Western culture. The Cambodian rock and roll scene was at its height in the ’60s and ’70s as musicians took English and American rock music and added unique melodies and hypnotic rhythms from their own traditional music, making something that people could enjoy for decades to come. That ended under the Khmer Rouge. The movie tries to offer a more positive perspective on Cambodia, as opposed to merely war and genocide.

It also talks about how the music has influenced the culture in both the past and the present. It screens tonight at 6:45 at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets are $9. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

SAT

Cinematheque tonight at Lumiére: The Gala Grand Opening, as it celebrates its new digs in the Peter B. Lewis Theater. Besides “food, fellowship, drinks and desserts,” the evening features the Midwest premiere of Listen to Me Marlon, a portrait of classic film star Marlon Brando.

Through more than 200 hours of audio tapes recorded by Brando, access to his estate, and of course Brando’s extensive filmography, filmmakers

Annual Euclid Beach Blast so you can expect to hear some of Cleveland’s best local acts. Maura Rogers and the Bellows, a terrific local indie folk act, is slated to play the “Beachland at the Beach” main stage. Panic Steel Ensemble is also on the schedule, and the event will feature the Waterloo Arts Sand Castle Contest and Bike Cleveland’s “Fat Tire Bike Beach Course.” The event runs from 4:30 to 8:30 p.m. at Euclid Beach Park.

#SonicSesh

SUN

7 PM Doors 8 PM Show

THURSDAY JULY 30, 2015

with BLACKBIRD & OZMTZ TICKETS: $ 5.50 (including fees)

On sale now at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame box office, or online at rockhall.com

1100 Rock and Roll Blvd., Cleveland, OH 44114 were able to delve into intimate details of the actor’s life to create what critics are calling “a masterpiece.” It screens at 7 p.m. Tickets to the gala are $100.

(Hetrick) 11141 East Blvd., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

MUSIC

A Gala Grand Opening Join the Cleveland Institute of Art

32

An Annual Event A nightlife destination, the Warehouse District offers a good mix of bars and restaurants. Today, the local businesses come together for the 11th Annual Warehouse District Street Festival. The festival, which takes place from noon until 8 p.m. on West Sixth Street and St. Clair, will feature an art show, demonstrations and Cleveland’s Annual Cutest Dog Contest & Fashion Show. Acts such as the local swing band Blue Lunch and the modern country group Heartland are slated to play. Admission is free.

(Niesel) warehousedistrict.org.

MUSIC

MUSIC

FILM

08/02

FESTIVAL

08/01

A Classical Collaboration The Cleveland Orchestra and the Kent/Blossom Chamber Orchestra share the stage at Blossom Music Center tonight for a special collaborative concert. At 7 p.m., the Kent/Blossom Chamber Orchestra opens with music by Stravinsky. At 8 p.m., the Cleveland Orchestra takes the stage with a Dvo˘rák tone poem and then shifts to Barber’s lyrical Violin Concerto with soloist James Ehnes. Both orchestras then combine their talents to perform Bartók’s fiery Concerto for Orchestra, a piece he wrote after moving to the United States from his native Hungary.

Tickets start at $24 and are available on the website. (Niesel) 1145 West Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

by local musicians, artists and writers. Expedition: SPACES!!! is curated by local IM musicians Craig R. Chojnici and Lisa Miralia.

The performances take place from 6 to 8:30 p.m. The lineup includes improvisedelectronicduoFaangdolph, intermedia performance art collective SOUTHBEACH, Jacob Koestler aka Rural Carrier, kinetic light artist Jeff Gerish, Sam Harmon’s “weird acid techno project” Glacial23, as well as readings and improvised responses to the performances by Cleveland-based writer and musician John Burroughs.

It’s free. (Usmani) 2220 Superior Viaduct, 216-621-2314, spacesgallery.org.

It’s a Blast The Beachland Ballroom books the bands playing at this year’s Sixth

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Admission is free. (Niesel) 16301 Lake Shore Blvd., euclidbeachblast.com.

ART

A Sonic Expedition SPACES has a long history as a venue dedicated to experimental art and artists. Tonight, SPACES presents a concert experience with integrated media performances

Divas Get Their Due Broadway shows such as Wicked, Les Miserables and Chicago have delivered some classic tunes. They’ve also given us some heroines that we alternately love and despise. Tonight at 7 at Blossom, the Cleveland Orchestra pays tribute to these musicals with a program of show tunes. The Orchestra will be under the direction of conductor Jack Everly and guest vocalists will be on hand as well.

Tickets start at $24. (Niesel) 1145 West Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

FESTIVAL

Going Global As its name implies, the Cleveland World Festival (formerly known as the Cleveland One World Festival) celebrates the city’s ethnically diverse music and art. The third annual event takes place today from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. at the Cleveland Cultural Gardens at Rockefeller Park. According to a press release, the event will “offer visitors a unique

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 33

GET OUT

GENEVA

On-the-Lake

FOOD

opportunity to sample a smorgasbord of the customs, costumes, music, food, and sports reflecting the diverse cultures that make up Cleveland’s heritage.” There will be three musical premieres, and a travelling boat bus will pick up musicians from the various gardens for a travelling multicultural concert. Admission is free.

(Niesel) clevelandworldfestival.com.

FILM

Home to...The Grand River Valley & Lake ErieWine Regions 18 Covered Bridges

800.3.DROP-IN

or Call...

Check the website for event details & mark your calendar for...

Lakefront Summer Concerts TOWNSHIP PARK

Where Our Lake Awaits...

July 14, 21, 28th, 7pm GOTL Monster Pub Crawl Now - Sept 7 Old Firehouse Craft Show

July 18 & 25th

Christmas in July @ High Tide Tavern Great Lakes Christmas Ale on Tap

Month of July

Find us on:

www.VisitAshtabulaCounty.com

Rescue Operation Adapted from the 2010 book of the same name, Our Man in Tehran depicts the role of Kenneth D. Taylor in the Iran hostage crisis of 1979 and 1980. While 2012’s Argo portrayed the events of this crisis and was met with widespread acclaim, this documentary strives to set the record straight about what really happened during the Canadian caper. The documentary features interviews with politicians, journalists, and diplomats with actual knowledge of the crisis, including Joe Clark, former prime minister of Canada. The screening includes an introduction by Douglas George, consul general of Canada for Ohio, who will discuss conversations he had with one of the rescued diplomats and the behind-the-scenes preparations for the rescue. The film screens at 1:30 p.m. today at the Cleveland Museum of Art’s Morley Lecture Hall. Tickets are $9. (Manno) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7340, clevelandart.org.

MON

08/03

OUTDOORS

ELITE SPONSORS: Edward Jones Investments • Cedar Fairmount SID Cedar Grandview Building • Cuyahoga Arts & Culture • Dave’s Supermarkets Fifth Third Bank • Heights Center Building • Heights Medical Building • Future Heights

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Get Wild Looking for a fun and free way to start your week? Head on over to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, which offers free admission for all residents of Cuyahoga County and Hinckley Township on Mondays.

You can explore the zoo’s massive collection, which includes more than 3,000 animals and 600 distinct species, including the largest primate collection in the country. Or check out the zoo’s impressive botanical garden, which has been praised for expertly illustrating the interdependent relationship between plants, animals and humans. The zoo is open today from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Admission to the RainForest is not included. (Nutile) 3900 Wildlife Way, 216-661-6500, clemetzoo.com.

Vegan Mondays If you’re vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, or just plain interested in trying something new, head over to Townhall in Ohio City this evening from 5 to 10 p.m. for Vegan Night.

Work your way through the delicious and healthy vegan menu, featuring hits like Veggie Vegan Flatbread (think fresh tomatoes, chiles, mushrooms and vegan cheese), Tofu Etouffee (blackened tofu, onions, tomatoes and brown rice) or many of the regular menu items made vegan.

If you’re still feeling skeptical, know this: Monday night is also Craft Beer Night and all 36 crafts are only $3 from 6 p.m. to close. Cheers! (Nutile) 1909 West 25th St., 216-344-9400, townhallohiocity.com.

TUE

08/04

BOOKS

Drink and Think It’s Brews & Prose time again, Cleveland literati. Come on down to Market Garden Brewery on West 25th tonight for powerhouse readings from NEO authors Kevin P. Keating, Amber Allen, and Bill Soldan. As is usually the case at such things, the writers will stick around to chat and sign books afterwards. It all begins at 7 p.m. in the brewery basement. Other than the cost of your beers, it’s free.

(Sam Allard) 1947 West 25th St., 216-621-4000, facebook.com/ MarketGardenBreweryReadingSeries.

LECTURE

The Refugees What happens when disaster strikes and people have to flee their homes? That’s the topic for tonight’s lecture series, Happy Dog Takes on the World. When an earthquake recently struck Nepal, more than 9,000 people were killed and 23,000 were injured.

The U.N. maintains that nearly 2.8 million people still require vital humanitarian assistance. Getting aid where it needs to go is no easy task. The City Club of Cleveland, the Cleveland Council on World Affairs, International Partners in Mission and the Northeast Consortium for Middle Eastern Studies have brought together the panelists for tonight’s discussion.

It takes place at 7:30 p.m. at the Happy Dog. Admission is free.

(Niesel) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-6519474, happydogcleveland.com.

Find more events @clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 35

LORAIN COUNTY METRO PARKS & TRUENORTH CULTURAL ARTS PRESENT

OUR MAIN STAGE

2015-Summer 2016 PRODUCTIONS! Big Fish the Musical: Oct. 16th - Nov. 1 2015

Book by John August | Music & Lyrics

by Andrew Lippa Based on the novel by Daniel Wallace and the Columbia Motion Picture written by John August

Find your happy hour.

Download SCENE’s official happy hour app! clevescene.com/happyhours

IRVING BERLIN’S White Christmas: Dec. 4, 2015

Music & Lyrics by Iriving Berlin Based upon the Paramount Pictures Film written for the screen by Norman Krasna, Norman Panama and Mveliv Frank. Book

by David Ives and Paul Blake

The Odd Couple: Jan 15th-31st 2016

By Neil Simon

WE WENT OUT WHEN YOU COULDN’T. EVENT SLIDESHOWS. ONLY AT CLEVESCENE.COM SCENE

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

GodSpell: Feb. 26th-Mar. 13th, 2016 Music and Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz Conceived and Originally Directed by John Tebelak | Based on The Gospell according to St. Matthew

Next to Normal: May 6th - 22nd, 2016 Music by Tom Kitt | Book and lyrics

by Brian Yorkey

South Pacific: July 15th - 31st, 2016

Music by Richard Rogers | Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II Book by Oscar Hammerstein II and Joshua Logan Adapted from the Pulitzer prize winning novel TrueNorth at French Creek | www.TNCArts. org | To order, call 440-949-5200

TrueNorth at French Creek

4530 Colorado Ave. (Rt. 611) Sheffield Village, OH 44054

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 37

Photo courtesy CWAL

ART ARTIST EXPOSE

Cleveland West Art League members show off their creations

By Josh Usmani FOR THE FOURTH consecutive year, the Cleveland West Art League (CWAL) presents Tall Walls, its annual unjuried, uncensored members’ art exhibition; the one-night-only show is this Friday from 6 p.m. to midnight. Tall Walls is open to any of CWAL’s more than 200 member artists. Each artist is invited to submit up to two works, and the show is hung salon-style, Bruno Casiano Gallery

“I am delighted to say that this promises to be a very good showing.”

–CWAL gallery director Daniel Neforos

with art filling the walls from floor to ceiling.

“I am delighted to say that this promises to be a very good showing,” says CWAL gallery director Daniel Neforos. “Viewers can expect to see a wide range of art from emerging, mid-career, and established Cleveland artists. This exhibition highlights the artistic diversity of our membership and their unique take on the world around them. We invite everyone to come to this one-night show this Friday.”

This year’s show features more than 40 artists and about 80 works. The unjuried, uncensored aspect often inspires artists to make provocative, controversial work, similar to Cleveland State University’s People’s Art Show, which inspired local artist and gallery owner Loren Naji’s initial

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idea for the show. This year, CWAL asked its members to submit their newest and best work, showcasing each artist’s unique style.

“Cleveland West Art League looks forward to this show each year,” says Jeannie Oakar, CWAL’s vice president and chair of off-site programming. “It is a chance for our members to really show who they are as artists. With the change in theme this year, we look forward to seeing current and unique works from our members. ” Bruno Casiano Gallery (5304 Detroit Ave.) hosts the event. “It is exciting to work with Bruno Casiano and to show off all the hard work he has put into his gallery

find an alternative venue. Last year, they used the former BUCKBUCK space, which is now occupied

by Canopy Collective. Ironically (in regard to Naji’s troubles), the basement of Casiano’s gallery once functioned as a speakeasy during Prohibition.

“It has been a pleasure working with Jeannie Oakar and being the host for this year’s Tall Walls,” says Casiano. “Today I went by the gallery and it was amazing to see all the great artwork waiting to be hung; it’s a very exciting time in Cleveland! It’s a great feeling to be part of it!”

Bruno Casiano Gallery is part of the Detroit Shoreway neighborhood,

TALL WALLS BRUNO CASIANO GALLERY 5304 DETROIT AVE., 216-346-6562, BRUNOCASIANO.COM

space,” says Oakar, who leads CWAL’s organization of Tall Walls each year. “He is kind, easy to work with and excited to help support CWAL and its members. The space is modern and a gem within the neighborhood.”

This is the first year that Casiano will host the exhibition. The first three exhibitions were held at Loren Naji Studio Gallery in Ohio City. However, due to Naji’s ongoing legal issues, CWAL was forced to

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

just steps from Gordon Square and its variety of attractions including Happy Dog, Cleveland Public Theater, Capitol Theatre, Near West Theatre, Stone Mad Pub, XYZ Tavern, Gypsy Bean and more. To the east, it’s just a short drive or bike ride to Hingetown, Ohio City and downtown.

Tall Walls has a truly democratic spirit: Anyone off the street could pay $25 for a membership and submit anything. Therefore

you’ll find “warts and all” in a show like this. However, it’s a rare opportunity to see so many different forms of expression of the dynamic human spirit. If the canvas is a window into the soul of the artist, Tall Walls offers a glimpse into the sheer range of creative expression.

CWAL started five years ago, when founding director Mona Gazala curated a group exhibition at IngenuityFest. The 20 participating artists became the first CWAL members. In early 2011, CWAL established a board of directors and secured its gallery space at 78th Street Studios.

Later that year, CWAL added an educational program and earned its nonprofit status.

CWAL’s gallery at 78th Street Studios (suite 110) maintains a regular exhibition schedule featuring work by many of their members. In August, CWAL presents work by Deborah Silver and Bernadette Glorioso. The organization offers a number of opportunities for members to showcase their talents. For more information, visit CWAL’s website.

Tall Walls is free and open to the public.

jusmani@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

STAGE FREE SHAKESPEARE, AS YOU LIKE IT Two groups are providing no-cost Shakespeare, indoors and out

Photo by Gabe Schaffer

By Christine Howey BOTH THE OBERLIN SUMMER Theater Festival and the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival are running the works of Old Will right now. And while one happens outdoors (weather permitting) and the other takes place inside a ferociously air-conditioned auditorium, each of the productions has plenty to recommend it.

Now in its 18th season of providing Shakespeare to the masses, the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival (or Cleveshakes) enlists mostly young actors in the area to mount two traveling shows each summer. This year, they opened with The Life of Timon of Athens and they’re currently performing a most audacious version of The Merchant of Venice.

As adapted and directed by Scott Miller, this Merchant starts off as a wildly overacted comedy romp centered around Portia’s suitor selection process. That morphs into a nailbiting courtroom drama as Shylock tries to exact his pound of flesh from hapless Antonio (Keith Kornajcik), who went into debt for his pal Bassanio (Leilani Barrett), before the disguised Portia intercedes.

Many of the actors are having a blast at the start as they run, leap, wrestle with each other, ride piggyback, and emote like this was their last 10 seconds on a stage anywhere. A lot of this works just fine since Shakespeare’s exposition could use a bit of a jolt. Ryan Stafford as Gratonio, Ananias J. Dixon as the Prince of Morocco and Luke Brett as Launcelot Gobbo stand out as they accost other performers and the audience in a no-holds-barred attempt to cadge more laughs.

Of course, the fun of overacting has its limits, and those are reached when Salanio (Luke Edward Powers) and Salarino (Nicholas Chokan), friends of Antonio and Bassanio, hit the stage, doing a bit that is notable for it’s excessiveness and incomprehensibility. Hey, you can’t win ’em all.

Once things settle down, a strong and compelling Allen Branstein as Shylock and sly Faith Whitacre as Portia take over. Shylock insists on his hunk of anatomy and Portia, disguised as a judge (and backed up by her gentlewoman Nerissa, a powerful Hillary Wheelock) grants him his wish

Left to right: Ryan Stafford (Gratiano), Allen Branstein (Shylock), Nicholas Chokan (Salarino), Faith Whitacre (Portia)

with, um, one major provision. This scene is as effective for its tingling tension as the comical sequences are for their manic energy.

All in all, this is one of the best Cleveshakes productions this critic has seen (and I’ve seen a ton), since it takes chances and the audience reaps the benefits. So throw a folding chair into the car and catch this one before it disappears after August 2.

Another theater company that is doing admirable work this summer

parrot and peg leg.

That is running alongside Crumbs from the Table of Joy by Lynn Nottage and All’s Well That Ends Well by that Shakespeare fellow. The latter show is called a “problem play” by Shakespearean scholars due to the fraught “love” story between grown-up orphan Helena and Bertram, the not-sogrown-up count who is under the King of France’s guardianship.

Both Helena and Bertram were brought up under the same roof, and

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE THROUGH AUGUST 2 VARIOUS LOCATIONS CLEVESHAKES.COM

ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL THROUGH AUGUST 8

HALL AUDITORIUM, 67 NORTH MAIN ST., OBERLIN, 440-775-8169, OBERLINSUMMERTHEATERFESTIVAL.COM

— for free to audience members! — is the Oberlin Summer Theater Festival.

With three shows in rolling repertory, this is no doubt the busiest stage in the area right now. Treasure Island by Ken Ludwig is an interesting adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson novel, an adventurous saga complete with pirate,

Helena has a longstanding fixation on Bert, who couldn’t care less about her. With her eyes on marriage, Helena manages to cure the King (a marvelously fulminating Matthew Wright) of a serious illness. In return, Helena is allowed to pick a hubby from the eligible gentlemen in the court, and

she fingers Bertram.

Early on, All’s Well is a very talky and rather complex journey. As Helena, Annie Winneg has a clear and precise delivery. But due to her rather dour mien and narrow bandwidth of facial expressions, she never really manages to craft a character we care about, positively or negatively. Colin Wulff doesn’t do much better as the pain-in-the-ass Bertram, walking about as if he’s trying to keep a pingpong ball clenched between his butt cheeks.

As always, Shakespeare introduces humor and there are some funny scenes, such as when Bertram hanger-on Parolles (an amusing David Bugher) is fake-kidnapped and faux-tortured. In the role of the clown Lavatch, David Munnell triggers both laughs and winces in his carefully calculated attempts at broad comedy.

Director Paul Moser, who also directed Treasure Island, perhaps overextended himself a bit with this one. Still, there are certainly pleasures to be had in All’s Well. And it’s free, so who’s complaining?

scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 39

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

trivia

tuesday

twisted

Manic Monday

long islands twisted tea Mikes Hard

Miller bottles

Mango boMbs

oUr daily MenU FeatUres Hand Made FresH ingredients.

(216) 741-2813

5515 BROADVIEW, PARMA

wall street taVern

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 41

Friday & satUrday

titos & teqUila

Jd & Crown royal ladies bog3 8-9pM

kitchen Hours: Sun 5pm-11pm M-Thur. 3pm-11pm Fri & Sat 3pm-1am

lounge Hours: Sun 5pm-2:30am M-Sat. 11am-2:30am

Come see gilligan, wall street’s magical barback & experience his strolling close up magic.

our very own talented and respected muralist bernadette glorioso will be hosting painting parties.

Cocktails & Canvas Saturday Aug 8th Babes Brushes & Beer Wednesday Aug 12th, Aug 26th • 6pm-9pm $35 Covers all materials rsVp at 216-741-2813

open Mic Jam nite

sunday

game nite putt putt pool, giant Jenga, Cards agaisnt Humanity, etC...

Check out Facebook For list of live bands

liVe entertainMent

trivia Country Music

thursday

thirsty

karaoke ladies night

wednesday

whiskey

You and a guest are invited to see

Monday, august 3rd at 7:00 P.M. regal richmond town square visit

Lionsgatescreenings.com

and enter the code

stsMsCene to download your complimentary passes!

ShaunTheSheepMovie.com ShaunTheSheepUS #ShaunTheSheep

No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited or restricted by law. Limit one pass per person.

Each pass admits two. Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Seating is not guaranteed.

This film has been rated PG for rude humor.

in tHeaters WednesdaY, august 5

photo: steve wagner

Join us in the cleveland cultural gardens of rockefeller park for the

A celebration of Cleveland’s diversity featuring music, games & food from around the globe.

sunday 11am - 9pm

admission, shuttle & parking

ADA wheelchair parking only on MLK Blvd | ADA & general parking at VA Garage, E. 105 & Magnolia

clevelandworldfestival.com | facebook/clevelandworldfestival

councilman kevin conwell

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

MOVIES

in theaters

LEGO LOVE

Brickumentary is world’s longest commercial

By Sam Allard EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, I’LL get sucked down a LEGO-centric YouTube wormhole. Watching timelapse videos of geekoids assembling life-size U.S. presidents, or scaled models of the Titanic or the Death Star, or fully-functioning cars all out of LEGO bricks makes for pretty good entertainment.

But in A LEGO Brickumentary, out Friday at the Cedar Lee, an entire feature film is devoted to the contemporary LEGO-scape: its most ardent practitioners, its most balls-tothe-wall projects, and the company’s mass commercialization and industry dominance, the prongs of which currently include, but are by no means limited to, last year’s LEGO Movie and the blossoming of a Hollywood franchise, huge annual conferences, and the creative energies of a vast army of primarily adult fans.

The god’s honest truth is it’s a bit much.

Even the bantering voice-over of Jason Bateman, on screen as a LEGO man, couldn’t budge me from the uncomfortable idea that I was watching a LEGO-financed promotional video,

one big, long commercial, perhaps an attempt at outreach to adults who might not realize that playing with LEGOs can be cool and might even pay dividends for your career in architecture!

No stone appears to have been left unturned. The film touches on the company’s existential crisis in the 1990s, when arrogance led to outrageous LEGO sets that required weird, unique pieces and not all that much assembly. The eureka moment, according to the jovial Danish execs interviewed in the film, came when they realized one afternoon the amount of excitement around experimentation with simple LEGO pieces, much of which energy mushroomed up in online chat rooms and meetup groups for AFOLs (Adult Fans of LEGO).

Among many other things, you’ll get to see what “the coolest job in the world” (LEGO Master Builder) entails, plus all sorts of promotional megaconcepts to generate engagement and buzz among devotees. One of the film’s main jabs at a storyline is the construction of a 1-to-1 model of a Star Wars X-wing fighter, which model was

constructed with a steel frame in some sort of industrial hangar, weighed 45,000 pounds and was composed of 5 million-plus individual LEGO pieces.

It was unveiled in Times Square to the joyous shrieks of the autistic children gathered to bear witness.

Because, as we’re told, LEGO has worked wonders for autistic children.

In one of the film’s more brazenly selfcongratulatory segments, we’re taken to the playroom of a child psychologist or some such, who reports the magical effects of LEGO and its ability to stimulate cooperation among even the most hardened antisocial youngsters.

And, I mean, that’s great. Likewise great is the fact that all these selfidentified weirdo LEGO-lovers have found a community of adult friends — the truth is that the evolution of the company and its fiendish adoption by adult superfans is a really interesting and worthwhile phenomenon to

SPOTLIGHT: THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT “A LOT OF THE DIRECTORS I admire were famous manipulators,” says Kyle Patrick Alvarez, director of The Stanford Prison Experiment.

“Hitchcock and Kubrick and directors who almost seemed to hate actors in a way. I love their work, but I also love actors and I wanted to be able to talk to these guys without engineering the film through method.”

The film, which opens Friday at the Cedar Lee, is a recreation of the infamous 1971 psychological experiment held at Stanford University.

In it, 24 male students were randomly assigned the roles of guard and prisoner in an attempt to study the relationship between them (with military prisons in mind). The study went south in a hurry. The guards enthusiastically embraced their roles and implemented a brutal regime, demanding allegiance and punishing all those who questioned their authority — the transcripts are now required reading in just about every

undergrad psychology curriculum out there.

“I sort of thought the easier version of directing this movie would have been to encourage people to become the experiment, to make the actors eat separately and only interact in the way they would in the experiment,” Alvarez says. “But I tried to work against that actually.”

The film stars Ezra Miller, Michael Angarano, It Follows’ Keir Gilchrest, 18-year-old Tye Sheridan of Mud, and a sea of other 18-to-25-year-olds, all convincingly portraying college students thrust into the basement of Stanford’s psychology wing, initially treating the experiment like a kind of summer job. Alvarez said many of the young actors had worked on projects together in the past — many of them were good friends — and he suspected it would have been foolish to try to disrupt a natural chemistry.

“It would have been a waste of my time,” Alvarez said, “sort of an eye-

roll inducing example of what ‘good directing’ should be or something.

Even though the material was really intense, we were all having a strangely good time.”

Not to say that the shoot was blissful. Alvarez says that with an extremely tight budget and shoot schedule, the days were often long and intense with basically zero time for rehearsal beforehand. And though the film occasionally testifies to the thin resources — there is, in certain segments, a lashed-together quality — there is also a raw energy inherent in a group of young actors sinking their teeth into work about authority and psychological violence.

The film serves the iconography of the original experiment without dressing it up with gore as in, say, the Adrien Brody Netflix garbage chuter The Experiment.

“I didn’t want to stretch it too far,” says Alvarez. – Sam Allard

investigate, even if it’s a stretch for a 90-minute doc.

Nonetheless, the impulse during and after the movie is indeed to drive to the nearest Toys R Us and pick up a few sets for oneself. And the sets aren’t cheap. An X-Wing fighter set, for example, retails for about $60. I guess I just prefer documentaries that inspire me to do something, not buy something.

That said, the LEGO Rivendell is like nothing you’ve ever seen.

ALSO OPENING

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation Ethan Hunt and the gang must face — as in every sequel — their most impossible mission yet, taking down a ruthless international terror outfit hellbent on destroying IMF. Cruise goes yard with an insane airplane stunt. Opens wide.

Vacation

Ed Helms revives the Vacation franchise as Rusty Griswold, son of Chevy Chase’s Clark. He and his wife (Christina Applegate) take the brood on a trip to Wally World. Chaos predictably ensues. Opens wide.

The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet

Nothing like a heartwarming PG flick for the Cedar Lee, eh? This one revolves around a 10-year-old cartographer who leaves his Montana home to accept an award from the Smithsonian. Helena Bonham-Carter co-stars.

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 43

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

EAT

POP GOES THE DINNER

Photo by Douglas Trattner

Dinner Lab joins Cleveland’s crowded dining events scene — and immediately stands out

By Douglas Trattner CLEVELAND IS LUCKY TO HAVE a number of wonderful, wellestablished dining events that have built up right alongside our bountiful food scene. They range from chefdriven Dinner in the Dark events to farm-chic Plated Landscape banquets and everything in between. Last week, our fair city welcomed in a new outfit, Dinner Lab, which launched back in 2012 and now holds events in about 35 cities.

Every organization has its own twist, and Dinner Lab is no different.

The roving fete bills itself as an underground dinner club that unites diners with emerging culinary talent in unexpected places. Unlike most of the pop-ups we know and love, this one features out-of-town talent, usually an up-and-coming chef who is working toward opening a place of his or her own.

“In terms of the chefs, we typically try to take the second in command, like the sous chef or really talented line cook at a top restaurant, who is looking to showcase their own menu,” explains Hallie Dietsch, the group’s director of human resources.

In our case, that talent was Daniel Espinoza, an enthusiastic chef with Mexican roots who has worked in Chicago restaurants like Mexique and the former Drawing Room. He described his five-course menu, which he prepared from an open makeshift

kitchen, as “Mod Mex without the bullshit” — food that was inspired by his grandmother’s soulful cooking.

“These are not actual recipes of hers, but food is very nostalgic,” he told the room of about 60. “How can I make her food in a more upscale way while never forgetting about the flavors or sugar-coating the spices?”

The “unexpected” setting was an open industrial warehouse space in the 78th Street Studios. Guests learn of the location just one day before the event. To attend, diners must be a member (or guest of a member) of Dinner Lab by paying an annual fee of $125 as well as the ticket price of $60. In more established cities like Columbus, Austin and Chicago, tickets routinely sell out within hours.

Frequent attendees of events like these know they can look forward to long lines at the bar (if there even is one), interminable waits for food that often is lukewarm when it does finally arrive, and meals that drag on for hours on end, punctuated by self-congratulatory speeches that only serve to push back the end time.

Dinner Lab feels different. Two bartenders easily kept pace with the crowd, which arrives gradually over the 30-minute cocktail hour. For the ticket price, guests enjoyed an open bar serving a house cocktail and multiple types of beer and wine. That

was in addition to the beverages served throughout the meal.

We selected seats at communal tables where guests were eager to introduce themselves and get to know one another. Following a brief introduction from the chef and organizer, the main event began almost immediately. Before our table introductions were done, we were digging into a refreshing cevichestyle calamari salad that was bright, tart and a wee bit spicy. Tender squid rings and tentacles, shaved fennel and small nuggets of chorizo swam in a creamy chile-spiked dressing.

Our second course was a riot of texture, flavor and pleasure. A crispy tostada was smeared with creamy guacamole, piled high with shredded braised pork, and garnished with a tangle of jicama ribbons, turned pink from the hibiscus vinegar used to pickle them. The third course taught us that mole need not be dark, earthy and chocolaty. Espinoza’s version, made from caramelized carrots, nuts and chiles, was fruity, tropical and intense. It sauced two crispy little filets of panko fried chicken, which

themselves sat in cilantro-spiked grits. It’s a dish everybody at the table would pay for in a restaurant without hesitation. I know because that’s a question on the feedback card that every guest is asked to fill out. The practice, a recurring feature of these Dinner Lab events, provides vital feedback for the chefs, who rely on it for future events and, down the road, their own restaurant.

We enjoyed a meaty flank of mahi-mahi on a tart and spicy salsa verde, followed by a sweet and savory vanilla sponge cake capped with strawberry foam and spicy peanuts and macerated strawberries. And just like that the event was over, clocking in at a little over two hours. Given the price, pace and portion size, it’s easy to see why these dinners are a hit.

Next up for Cleveland are events on August 18 and 19. Both the chef and location are as yet unannounced. Go to dinnerlab.com to sign up.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 45

EAT

bites

TOM’S FOOLERY SET TO RELEASE OHIO’S FIRST STRAIGHT RYE WHISKEY

By Douglas Trattner

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

CAN YOU HEAR THAT? That’s the gleeful cheers from Ohio whiskey drinkers, who already are lining up (figuratively, anyhow) to buy the state’s first straight rye.

That it is coming from Northeast Ohio is no surprise to fans of Tom Herbruck and his growing portfolio of Tom’s Foolery craft spirits.

Up until now, we have been sipping on Herbruck’s distinctive apple brandy, or applejack, and his straight bourbon, all of it distilled in copper pot stills in place of column stills and aged for at least two years in new charred oak barrels.

New to the line-up is Tom’s Foolery Ohio Straight Rye, the first for Herbruck, his wife and business partner Lianne, and fulltime brewer Erik Rothschiller. And first for Ohio. As with the bourbon, the rye was distilled in the pot still and has been aging for at least two years in wood. By law, the mash bills for the whiskey must be at least 51 percent rye. Herbruck’s runs as high as 100 percent, but mostly lands in the 90-percent range.

This first release — Batch One —consists of 10 53-gallon barrels.

That should come out to about 2,400 bottles of 90-proof rye. The official release date is August 1, but it could take a couple weeks for the product to make it your local spirits provider.

Because of its main ingredient — rye over bourbon’s corn — the whiskey starts with a more distinctive character. But when combined with Herbruck’s old-fashioned techniques and equipment, and his painstaking skill and care, the result is a world-class product sure to place Northeast Ohio on the craft spirits map.

“You’ll first be struck by a very strong nose — it’s really aromatic with a fruity and rich bread-like aroma,” Herbruck says of his rye.

“In the mouth, it’s probably going to be the most flavorful whiskey that many people will have ever tried.”

Unlike most of the big boys, Herbruck elects not to filter his hooch through activated charcoal, which makes the final product

Photo by Ryan Irvine

Tom’s Foolery will release our state’s first straight rye whiskey.

“smoother,” while also stripping away much of its more unique characteristics.

“Rye tends to mature a little bit faster than bourbon, so even though it’s only two and a half years old, it tastes older,” adds Herbruck.

These are flush times for Tom’s Foolery. After five years of diligent brewing, distilling and aging, Herbruck and his team have found themselves with a rackhouse full to the rafters with maturing whiskey, which means that going forward there should be more consistent availability of applejack, bourbon and rye.

“We have a nice inventory built up in the rackhouse, which is pretty much full,” he reports. “We are having to sell some whiskey to make room for more products.”

Because all of the products benefit from more time on wood, each batch will grow a little older and smoother.

“We’re always holding some back from every batch,” he says.

“Every release we’d like to be a little bit older each time.”

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EAT

bites

Roving pizza shop In Forno to open brick-and-mortar pizzeria in Avon For the past five years, George Goodman and his roving pizza oven have been regular fixtures at events like Wade Oval Wednesday, Crocker Park Farmers Market, and Friday Night wine tastings at the Olde Wine Cellar in Olmsted Falls. On a busy night, Goodman’s and his In Forno Pizza can crank out 150 pies for adoring customers, who come back week after week for his delicious wood-fired Neapolitan-style pizza.

After “How long will it take?,” the second most popular question that Goodman fields is, “Where is your restaurant?”

“Our clients are always asking about our location,” Goodman says.

Until now, the answer has always been the same: We don’t have one.

But come September, Goodman finally will have a brick-and-mortar restaurant in which to plant his feet.

“We had to build a client base and feel confident that we could provide something good, the perfect pizza,” he explains.

If Goodman is able to crank out 150 stellar pies per night from a mobile alfresco pizzeria, odds are good that his stationary restaurant will make even better, more consistent pies. For starters, he is installing a Stefano Ferrara woodfired oven from Naples, the brand most frequently associated with topquality shops.

“I could not go with a concrete oven; that’s just not the proper oven for me,” he says.

To be located in Avon on Chester Road, near the Walmart, In Forno Pizzeria will seat about 60. It will be a very simple operation, Goodman stresses, focusing on pizza, a few salads, maybe some gelato.

“Hopefully” beer and wine will be added down the road. There will be no delivery, but customers will be able to order pizzas for pick-up and take-out.

Goodman makes his own dough, of course, and very closely adheres to the Vera Pizza Napoletana (VPN) guidelines that cover everything from oven fuel and flour type to tomatoes, cheeses and toppings. His pizzas cook in one to two minutes in a woodfired oven that reaches 800 to 1,000 degrees.

“We are quick, but not too quick to ever ruin quality,” he stresses.

It’s interesting to note that none of

this would ever have happened had Goodman’s original plans come to fruition.

“Six years ago, when I moved from New York, I built a wood oven for my home,” Goodman explains. “It was going to be half in the kitchen, half in the living room for cooking and heating my home.”

The ambitious construction project stalled — “required too much structural work” — and the oven landed on a trailer. One private party led to another and the rest, as they say, is pizza history.

Goodman is shooting for a September opening, at which time he’ll likely scale back appearances at events save for a few staples.

Michael Symon, Buddy “Cake Boss” Valastro are first big celebs announced for Fab Food Show Michael Symon will return to the Fabulous Food Show this year. He and Buddy “Cake Boss” Valastro are the first two big-name stars confirmed by organizers to appear at this year’s big event. Now in its 10th year, the three-day attraction is one of the largest food shows of its kind in the nation. This year’s festivities will take place Friday through Sunday, Nov. 13 to 15, at the International Exposition Center in Cleveland.

Symon will be on hand all three days, according to Jeremy Levine, vice president of business development for the I-X Center.

Among his appearances, he will host another version of his popular Block Party on Saturday from 4:30 to 6 p.m. He’ll also host daily signings of his next cookbook, 5 in 5 for Every Season, which will be released not long before the show.

“We’re also working with Michael on a Cleveland Browns themed tailgate event for Sunday, November 15, connecting food and football, while the Browns take on rival Steelers in Pittsburgh,” adds Levine.

Valastro is scheduled to appear on both Friday, Nov. 13, and Saturday, Nov. 14. This will be his first appearance at the big show. He will kick off with a new signature event at 1 p.m. on Friday with “Dessert First,” a cakes and cocktails event celebrating 10 great years.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, say organizers. Other stars will be announced as they are confirmed Tickets go on sale to the public on August 28.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

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MUSIC THE GREAT COMMUNICATOR

Singer-songwriter Graham Nash will dig into his back catalog for Hard Rock Live concert Matt Wardlaw AT THE END OF THIS MONTH, Cleveland will welcome singersongwriter Graham Nash back to town for the second time this summer.

That’s not too shabby, especially when you consider that we’re talking about a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee who has been making music for more than 50 years. The oft-heard quote from Keith Richards comes to mind when pondering that last statistic: “It’s good to be here … it’s good to be anywhere.”

Nash could teach the world a thing or three about good harmony, and through his work with the Hollies and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, he’s already done so: The evidence is right there in the songs that he and his collaborators have put down across the years. But when he came to Cleveland earlier this summer, he was surrounded by a few more people than usual. The Contemporary Youth Orchestra backed him for an evening of music that took stock of his five decades of work. “[It was] an unbelievable experience,” he says during a recent phone conversation on his way to San Diego. “The professionalism of those kids in that orchestra was amazing to

fresh as the current headlines.

“One of the things that the fans of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young realize is that they will hear some of the songs that they paid good money to buy a ticket to come and see us,” he says. “You know, they want to hear ‘Guinnevere,’ they want to hear ‘Our House’ and ‘Suite: Judy Blue Eyes,’ etc. But they also know that they’re going to probably hear a song that was written that morning. In one particular case of ‘Watch Out for the Wind,’ which I did with the orchestra, that was the case indeed. My friend, Shane Fontayne, who is the second guitar player in the Crosby, Stills & Nash band, one day woke up to the story of Michael Brown being shot dead by the white police officers in Ferguson, Missouri and had to write a song about it, and David [Crosby] and Stephen [Stills] had never heard the song.

“The point about ‘Burning for the Buddha’ [another newer song that Nash played during his CYO performance] is that quite frankly when David, Stephen and Neil [Young] and I were doing all of those antiwar Vietnam war benefits many, many years ago, the one image that

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me. And to have a 125-piece orchestra and an 80-piece choir singing my music with me was a thrill.”

As Nash describes it, his concerts offer fans the opportunity to hear their favorites, but there’s also an opportunity to learn, discover and become aware. Social and political commentary have long been a key element of the songwriting and Nash, as is the case with many of his legendary peers, has never been shy about expressing his views. And unlike some songwriters who might hold back new songs for an album release, he has no problem with introducing a song onstage that is as

was prevalent there was of a monk who had burned himself to death in protest of the war,” Nash continues.

“And what we’ve got to realize is that in the last year and a half alone, over 130 Tibetan monks have burned themselves to death because of what’s been going on with the Chinese government and the Tibetan people.

So we did those two songs with the orchestra. And it was a history lesson for those kids too. Because they wanted to know, what did I mean when I said we could change the world? Who was bound and gagged and chained? ” The new songs that Nash has been

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 51

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

playing in his live shows will finally find their way to an album due for release in 2016. Nash and Fontayne wrote 20 songs together in September and October of last year and recorded them at Village Recorders in Los Angeles — the same studio where he and Crosby recorded their Wind on the Water album in 1975. Forty years later, the mojo was still good: He recorded those 20 songs in eight days.

It’s those new songs that have Nash out on the road this summer, touring with only Fontayne accompanying him on guitar. In recent years, there have been Crosby and Nash tours and Crosby, Stills & Nash tours, depending on who is available. When it became clear that the other two had plans for this year, Nash made his own plans.

“I have so many new songs,” he says. “You know, I need to communicate. David and Stephen and I this year are completely booked up in terms of shows, so we’re not going into the studio this year. So what do you do with all of these things that are floating around in your head? I’m a communicator — I have to get out there and sing — so if me and David and Stephen aren’t doing it, I’ll do it.”

On the subject of a new Crosby, Stills & Nash album he says, “It’s always on our agenda, but you know, it’s very difficult to get three guys that are busy as hell on the same page.

But eventually we will get there.” One project that was in the works a few years ago was a covers album that was being overseen by Rick Rubin.

The trio didn’t mesh well with Rubin, and they eventually pulled back and went into Jackson Browne’s studio to take another crack at the concept. “It’s still on deck,” says Nash. “We have a lot of music to be making as soon as we get off the road.”

And that’s the thing: There’s always a lot of music happening when you talk with Graham Nash. In recent years, in addition to his own work, he has curated box sets that offered individual career overviews for Crosby and Stills.

“I think I might be the member of the band who thinks what we did is reasonably important. I did it really for history,” he points out. “I didn’t do David’s box set for David, although I totally took it into account, of course.

But I really did it for history. I wanted people to know, if they’re the least bit curious in a hundred years’ time, who David Crosby was or who Stephen Stills or Neil Young or Graham Nash ... these pieces of music will at least be able to give them an indication of who we were.”

The recent CSNY 1974 box set pulls a lot of diamonds out of what had been a chaotic 1974 tour, but as the release itself reveals, the performances were gold. Nash put a lot of work into pulling together a cohesive document of the period, meticulously reviewing multi-track tapes of the nine shows that had been professionally recorded.

“Anything involving the four of us is complicated,” he says. “But I had a definite feeling that there was a great record to be made if I could dig deep enough. One of the most difficult things was to take the eight or nine multi-track tapes from different halls and different acoustic environments and make you believe that you’re sitting at one concert. That was the most difficult technical thing that I had to face.”

Is it possible that fans might get to hear a similar release that would take a look at another period of the group’s live work? Nash says it’s possible, but it might be a while.

“If I was to think about it at all — and I’m not thinking about it, because it took me almost four years to do that CSNY 74 box set — so I’m kind of done with our music for a little while. But we did some interesting shows in the early ’70s at the Fillmore East in New York and that might be an interesting project, because that was also filmed.”

He’s got a couple of things on his list, including an album that’ll collect a good number of the guest appearances that he and David have made on other artists’ albums (including the title track to David Gilmour’s On an Island album, which features their gorgeous harmony vocals surrounding the voice of the former Pink Floyd guitarist). He’s also working with producer Spencer Proffer on an album of acoustic versions of songs by Jimi Hendrix.

“We’re getting very well-known people to do Jimi’s music acoustically and it’s fascinating,” Nash says.

“I’ve known [Spencer] for many, many years. It’s an idea of his that he wanted to do and he asked me to help him and I did. I actually got Jason Mraz to sing ‘Angel,’ and me and David are singing harmony with him and it’s beautiful. Grace Potter did ‘The Wind Cries Mary’ and it’s gorgeous. Heart did ‘Waterfall’ [and it’s] fantastic. It’s going to be a great album.”

Nash promises us an evening of music that’s “going to go everywhere from songs I did with the Hollies to the song I wrote this morning.”

We’ll cross our fingers that he has a productive morning on that day.

music@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

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53

MUSIC THE NEVERENDING NINETIES Sugar Ray singer embraces nostalgia for Under the Sun tour

By Jeff Niesel Courtesy of the Press House

SUGAR RAY MIGHT’VE SEEMED like an overnight sensation when “Fly,” a snappy Sublime-like tune that featured breezy vocals and deft turntable scratches, became a hit back in 1997. But that certainly wasn’t the case. Band members had played together since the late ’80s before making their debut in 1995 with Lemonade and Brownies. In fact, that album was a bomb and the band should have probably been dropped in the wake of its release.

“Believe it or not, record labels used to give bands chances,” says singer Mark McGrath via phone from his Los Angeles home. “If it didn’t set the world on fire, they’d give you another chance. I know this sounds insane but it was a different time. I don’t think Fleetwood Mac was successful until their fourth or fifth record. It was a different time when labels had departments to develop acts. Bruce Springsteen wasn’t immediately successful.”

A few years ago, McGrath and Everclear singer Art Alexakis launched Summerland, a tour that paid tribute to bands from the ’90s.

Alexakis wanted that tour to get a bit heavier and McGrath wanted the tour to broaden the horizons. As a result, McGrath launched his own tour, Under the Sun. Now in its third year, Under the Sun features Sugar Ray, Better Than Ezra, Uncle Kracker and Eve 6. It comes to Hard Rock Live this week.

McGrath says that before the band signed with Atlantic Records, it had two original tunes. The titles — “Lick Me” and “Caboose” — suggest the band’s maturity level.

“We lied to the label and said we had 40 songs and we said were from San Diego and we were the coolest band there,” he says. “Next thing we knew we had a million-dollar record deal and we had to write an album. Be careful what you ask for. If you listen to that first album, we’re like kids in a candy store. We have DJ Lethal from House of Pain and I’m singing in falsetto. There are punk bands and cheesy bad metal and R&B songs. We were the Beastie Boys-meets-the Red Hot Chili Peppers with zero talent. But we made this record and it had some charm to it.”

The record had some success in Europe where the band toured with

54

Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath’s rock ’n’ roll dreams came true.

Deftones and Korn. In the States, the group had “no success” until it covered a Howard Stern song and the shock jock put him on his syndicated radio show. They sent the song to Stern’s assistant Baba Booey, who made sure Stern had a chance to hear it.

“It was our first national experience,” says McGrath. “Howard Stern was my idol then and now. We played ‘Psychedelic Bee’ and started selling some records. Atlantic said the record was done but they’d let us

Kiss Alive!—it’s like that moment,” he says. “I went from being able to walk down any street on that Friday to everyone knowing me across America that Monday. MTV exploded and radio exploded. We toured around the world.

They were putting our posters on the sides of buildings in New York City.

“All our rock ’n’ roll dreams came true overnight,” he continues. “After a three-month run, they handed us a gold record at the Atlantic Records building in Manhattan. I almost have to appreciate it now to look back

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make another record. We were on Beavis & Butt-head and getting some momentum.”

For the band’s follow-up album, 1997’s Floored, David Kahne (Sublime, 311) worked with the band and twisted its sound into something more palatable for commercial radio.

The album sold two million copies.

McGrath says the success was surreal.

“If you were in your garage when you were 8 and you had your Jimmy Connors wooden tennis racket and you had your bun huggers and were playing along to Ace Frehley and

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

at it even though then I knew how precious it was. We were older and I’d seen the metal and some of the rap bands come rolling down the hill after a year. We took some time to party and enjoy it because we didn’t know how long it would last.”

Even if the band no longer gets radio airplay, McGrath has become a celebrity. He co-starred in last summer’s indie hit Sharknado 2 and has a role in this summer’s sequel Sharknado 3. In addition to his role in Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, he has served as the co-host of Extra

and hosted Don’t Forget the Lyrics as well as TV show Killer Karaoke.

He recently launched a PledgeMusic campaign to fund the recording of his debut solo record.

When he talks about the genesis of Summerland, which is designed to showcase alt-rock bands from the ’90s, he says the concept was “nothing new.”

“You take bands from a certain generation that had hits and you put them together for one night and play all hits,” he says. “The Turtles have been doing it for years with their Happy Together tour. There were similar tours and the ’80s has a zillion of them. There hadn’t been one yet for the ’90s. I think that’s because there was such a hangover from the ’90s. It never ended. If you look at the top 10 in Pollstar, bands like Soundgarden, Alice in Chains and Red Hot Chili Peppers are still there. Dave Matthews and Phish are there. They’re still dominated by these bands.”

But when he first started playing in Sugar Ray, which was known for its outlandish on-stage antics, in the ’90s, did he ever think the band would be on a nostalgia tour some 20 years later?

“You should have seen the early shows,” he says. “We were almost a performance art band when we started.

We didn’t know how to play. We just went up there and made some noise and I made an ass of myself to see what happens. Not a lot has changed since then. We had a couple of hits and learned to play a little bit. That’s led to the nostalgia part.”

He says he’s “honored to be part of nostalgia.”

“Some people look at it as a bad thing,” he says. “I looked it up in the dictionary to see why people are so afraid of nostalgia. It means something you want to take with you forever. It’s a moment you want to remember forever. I’m looking for the negative connotation. I don’t find it.

To be part of people’s memories and life landscapes is an honor. I have had people say ‘Fly’ is the first song their son sang. Being the parent of 5-yearold twins, I know how important that is. I absolutely did not think I’d be on a nostalgia tour, but I’m honored to be on one.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 55

Photo by Dan Monick

MUSIC

A one-off charity show brought the members of Desaparecidos together again.

MELODY MAKERS

Indie rockers Desaparecidos get ‘loud, angry and catchy’ on new album

By Elizabeth Manno ATTRACTING AN INCREASINGLY large number of fans after the release of their 2002 debut Read Music/Speak Spanish, the post-hardcore band Desaparecidos split up that same year after lead singer Conor Oberst made it big with his own band, Bright Eyes.

The band had finally gained some momentum after appearing on MTV’s You Hear It First as the featured act and touring with well-known bands such as Jimmy Eat World and the Promise Ring. However Oberst’s newfound success with Bright Eyes meant that the other members would have to move on while the band was on hold.

“At the time, it didn’t feel right,” says guitarist Denver Dalley via phone when asked about the band’s split.

“It felt like it was spread too thin. It didn’t feel as natural as it should have.

I think we’re all glad with the way it turned out now. I think if we would’ve kept going back then, it wouldn’t have been the same thing. I think that we’re better for it.”

Desaparecidos reunited in 2010 to play a benefit concert and has come back with a new album, Payola, which arrived just last month. The band’s reunion transpired after a one-off charity show in 2010 and then, two years later, they announced they were back together and touring again.

Though they have released a few new songs after the announcement of their reunion, this year was their first fulllength release since then.

“To me, it sounds loud, angry and catchy,” says Dalley when asked about the new album. “There’s a

56

definite — not a pop element — but there’s something about it that’s more melodic than just a purely loud, angry hardcore band. There’s something about it that’s got the melodic element of the Pixies but with the anger and values of Fugazi.”

When the band started out in 2001, members were in their early 20s, and now after coming out with their first LP in 13 years, they are hoping for a more mature sound.

“I think it still has the same chaotic energy but to me it seems a little more focused. I think that we’re all a little bit more experienced, hopefully, better musicians than we were when we were 19,” says Dalley about the band’s maturation. “It sounds a little bit more precise and less sloppy basically. It still has the same chaotic live energy.”

The band’s lyrics are like a breath of fresh air due to the fact that they

and the treatment of new American citizens,” Dalley says. “I think a lot of the same themes are on both records.

I think the first one was we’re singing about America and the world from the perspective around the backyard and it was more a concept album and this one, each song is about a different one, but there’s still an underlying theme of money controls everything, there’s someone watching, taking apart what’s become this standard American dream, and what’s expected of us.”

The new album was recorded in several sessions over the past few years and featured producer Mike Mogis, who’s famous for having done the score for the 2014 film, The Fault In Our Stars. Payola also features appearances by Laura Jane Grace of Against Me! and Tim Kasher from Cursive, the latter of which the band

DESAPARECIDOS, THE SO SO GLOS, THE BANDDROIDZ 8 P.M. WEDNESDAY, JULY 29, GROG SHOP 2785 EUCLID HEIGHTS BLVD., 216-321-5588. TICKETS: $23 ADV, $25 DOS, GROGSHOP.GS

contain both social and political commentary, which seems to be difficult to find these days unless it’s in the form of an angry rant by a rap artist.

“I think there’s still a lot of the issues from the first album unresolved and I think there’s still getting over frustration with that, but the big catalyst that kind of got us going again was immigration rights

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

cites as a major influence. “City on the Hill,” which features Kasher, is a modern, angry punk anthem about money and power, but it still has pop sensibilities with shouts of “oh oh, oh oh!”

Another track from the record with a rather interesting title, “MariKKKopa” (which actually was supposed to include an appearance from Rage Against the Machine’s

Zack de La Rocha) was written shortly after the 2010 benefit concert and shows two polar opposite sides of Oberst’s voice: his emo screaming and folksy, Band of Horses-esque singing. Political lyrics, uptempo pop-punk songs and loud guitars distinguish the band’s music.

The recording process for the album was unconventional.

“We rented this house, and we were able to just hang out and have campfires and just, you know, talk about stuff and lyric material and it was really an ideal, amazing experience,” says Dalley. “We were very fortunate to be able to do that.

I know not everyone can leave town for a few days to do that sort of thing. I think it was really awesome and really helpful in our writing.”

As for their upcoming live tour, Dalley says that after a decade-long hiatus the band’s chemistry is now better than ever.

“That was the thing that really blew us all away when we got together and played that show in 2010,” he says. “There was no awkward transition. I think that’s what really impressed us and made us all individually want to be a band again and not just do a reunion thing. We wanted to hang out and have band practice and play shows and I think the record was a byproduct of that.”

music@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

LIVEWIRE WED

all the live music you should see this week

Photo by Joe Kleon

07/29

Lord Huron/Widowspeak: At first, Lord Huron sounds somewhat like so many other bands these days, but a closer listen reveals much more.

They’re not to be missed. Frontman Ben Schneider even created a whole alternate reality to accompany his band; George Ranger Johnson, a prolific author of Westerns all titled the same as Lord Huron songs, is merely another outlet for Schneider’s imagination. The singer and guitarist actually gets into character as Johnson for the band’s numerous music videos and song trailers, making the full Lord Huron experience a bit more immersive than what other bands are proffering.

Schneider knows his way around a hook-laden vocal melody too. “Love Like Ghosts” opens the band’s latest album, Strange Trails, and it’s a yearning tale of one-sided, brokenhearted love. Treading similar territory, “Fool For Love” coasts along smooth chords and drummer chugging-train drum beats. (Eric Sandy), 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $23 DOS. House of Blues.

Mahall’s Summer Series: BADBADNOTGOOD: This trio out of Toronto has quickly become a hip-hop sensation. The group, which formed in 2010, plays a jazzy version of hip-hop, something that appeals to up-and-coming acts such as Tyler the Creator, Earl Sweatshirt and Frank Ocean, acts with whom it’s collaborated. Their new album, Sour Soul, is a collaboration with the Wu Tang Clan’s Ghostface Killah. It features groovy jazz numbers such as “Mono” that show off the group’s jazz chops. Even when Ghostface is laying down aggressive vocals in tunes such as the title track and “Stark’s Reality,” BADBADNOTGOOD keeps its cool, delivering old school grooves. (Jeff Niesel), 8:30 p.m., $15 ADV, $18 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

10 X 3 Hosted by Brent Kirby (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Basement/Runaway Brother/Dead Leaves: 7 p.m., $15 ADV, $17 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.

Buckcherry/Saving Abel: 7 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. Agora Ballroom.

Cuyuga/Ken Bindas: 8:30 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Desaparecidos/The So So Glos/The Banddroidz: 8 p.m., $23 ADV, $28 DOS. Grog Shop.

Roosevelt Dime (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club.

In case you’re unsure, Kid Rock brings a big sign to let know what his name is. See: Thursday.

Round Eye/Mr. Clit & the Pink Cigarettes/Dolly Rocker Ragdoll: 9 p.m., Free. Now That’s Class.

A Tribute to Billy Strayhorn Featuring Bill Dobbins: 7 p.m., Free. BLU Jazz+.

Ultra Light/Cruelster/Prison Moan (in Club Atlantis): 10 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

THUR

07/30

Sonic Sessions: Black Tiger Sex Machine/Blackbird/Ozmtz: With their light-up helmets in the shapes of futuristic tiger heads, Black Tiger Sex Machine is the not new up and coming EDM band. Following in the footsteps of like bands like Daft Punk and Deadmau5, they have upcoming slots at big festivals like Lollapalooza and Electric Zoo. Their music is self-described as “futuristic thriller,” which isn’t very far off. Singles “The Grave” and “Destroy It” sound like something straight off the Tron soundtrack. With EDM capturing the minds and hearts of the youth today, it’s no wonder more and more acts are popping up. They perform as part of the Rock Hall’s Sonic Sessions series. (Hannah Wintucky), 8 p.m., $5.50. Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.

Aaron Lee Tasjan/Lilly Hiatt/Taylor Lamborn: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern.

Kid Rock/Foreigner/Packway Handle Band: Kid Rock loves a good gimmick. When he played Blossom in 2013, he packed the joint by selling tickets for a mere $20. He ran a similar promotion for tonight’s show at Blossom, where he performs with his Twisted Brown Trucker Band. Tickets from the second row to the lawn are

$20. And they feature reduced parking and service fees. At press time, most of the tickets were spoken for but you can always try secondary ticket brokers. In addition, there will be $20 special food packages, $4 draught beers and special $20 tour T-shirts.

Expect the show to be a rowdy affair.

(Niesel), 6:45 p.m., $20. Blossom.

Bad Boys Jam: 9 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Blues Traveler: 8 p.m., $23 ADV, $25 DOS. House of Blues.

Boudreaux’s Backporch (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club.

Cricket Bows/Lee Gallagher & the Hallelujah: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Dark Thoughts/Serious Shit/Real Regular (in Club Atlantis): 10 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

Aaron Gillespie: 7:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Tommy Lahman Sextet: 8 p.m., $12.

BLU Jazz+.

Gaetano Letizia Quartet: 8 p.m., $10.

Nighttown.

Michael McDonald & Friends/Prime Directive: 8 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Reggie and the Full Effect/ Pentimento/The Weaks: 8:30 p.m., $16. Grog Shop.

Roots Rock with Cats on Holiday: 5 p.m. Music Box Supper Club.

Wednesday 13/Holy Grail/Death Division: 6:30 p.m., $15 ADV, $17 DOS. Agora Ballroom.

Peter J. Woods: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

FRI

07/31

Brandon Flowers: Best known as

the lead singer of the Las Vegas alternative rock band, the Killers, Brandon Flowers has put his own name up in lights as well as a successful solo artist. His second solo album, The Desired Effect, came out earlier this summer to critical acclaim and features appearances

by Neil Tennant of Pet Shop Boys, Danielle Haim of Haim and Ronnie Vannucci, Jr. of the Killers, among others. His live performances have also been widely praised by fans and reviewers and during the European leg of his current tour, he even had a few legendary, surprise guests performing with him: Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders and Bernard Sumner of New Order. His live set will feature, several songs from his new album like the pop-filled “Can’t Deny My Love” and the slow build-up, “I Can Change,” as well as some sing-alongs that all fans of The Killers will know and love.

(Elizabeth Manno), 8 p.m., $27.50 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues.

Brimstone Coven/Dead East Garden/ MourningWagon: 9 p.m., $18 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Tavern.

Paul Christiansen (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

The Coltranes/Paranoid Chant/The Pose/Dipshit: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

Dan Andriano in the Emergency Room/Jeff Ronsenstock/Pet Symmetry/High Dive: 8 p.m., $13.

Grog Shop.

Festivus: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge.

Girls Night Out with Debi Lewin and Liz Sharp: 8:30 p.m., $20. Nighttown.

Hazard Adams/Britton Roberts: 9 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern.

Hoots & Hellmouth/J.P. and the

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 59

LIVEWIRE Chatfield Boys Featuring David Mayfield: $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

Jesus Irizarry Family Benefit with Gatlin and Death Division: 6 p.m., $10. Agora Ballroom.

Dennis Lewin: 10:30 p.m., free.

Nighttown.

Alan Madej/Sexy Pig Divas/Joey Beltran: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Tim McGraw/Billy Currington/ Chase Bryant: 7 p.m., $32.75-$71.50.

Blossom.

Graham Nash: 8 p.m., $43.50-$62.50.

Hard Rock Rocksino.

Nick Puin Band: 8 p.m., $12. BLU Jazz+.

Terrain/The North Coast Goats/ George Foley & Friends: 5:30 p.m.

Barking Spider Tavern.

Tribute to the Everly Brothers: Ryan Humbert and Emily Bates (in the Supper Club): 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

Whiskey Daredevils/Plastic Pinks/ Archie and the Bunkers: 9 p.m., $10.

Musica.

World Beats with DJ Neil Chastain: 5 p.m., Free. Music Box Supper Club.

SAT

08/01

Kimm Rogers/Marc Lee Shannon/ Angie Haze Project: Singersongwriter Kimm Rogers took one helluva hiatus. Rogers, who put out a couple of acclaimed albums back in the ’90s, recently released Where the Pavement Grows, her first new studio offering in two decades.

“To be perfectly honest, I am just learning the ropes again,” says Rogers, a native Clevelander who plays a rare hometown show tonight.

“I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I lost my record deal and slept for a long time and work up to a new music business world. I’m trying to figure out how to tour. I hope to do some touring. I love to play live. When you can feel the energy coming off poeple in a room, it’s an incredible feeling.” Rogers has really been everywhere. As a kid, she moved from Cleveland to California and then to Nashville before moving back to California. She’s also done time in Idaho and New Mexico. In California, she spent some time busking on the Venice Beach boardwalk and established a rep as a songwriter. For Where the Pavement Grows, she teams up with ace multiinstrumentalist Julian Coryell (son of jazz great Don Coryell). Her nasally vocals are well-suited to mid-tempo rock tunes such as “Twenty Three,” an introspective song with Joni Mitchell-like qualities to it. (Niesel).

60

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

Jilly’s Music Room.

Richard Thompson: At 66, singerguitarist Richard Thompson is still a force to be reckoned with.

Yet another masterpiece, his new album, Still, opts for a starker sound, something that’s apparent from the opening number “She Could Never Resist a Winding Road,” a simple sound that starts with nothing more than Thompson’s gruff vocals and a gently strummed guitar riff. The somber ballad has a real sadness to it. Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy, who produced the album, lets Thompson have his way as songs generally stretch past the four-minute mark. Tonight’s show will be an acoustic solo affair.

(Niesel), 8 p.m., $30-$40. The Kent Stage.

Jake Miller/Jasmine V/Alex Angelo: Named the No. 1 Artist to Watch by FoxWeekly after winning the “Kick it with the Band” competition, Jake Miller has quickly risen to stardom.

He’s opened for acts like Mac Miller and Snoop Dog, and has performed along side of Sean Kingston, Asher Roth, and Jason Derulo. His music is a mix of EDM, pop, rap, and R&B and sounds like a mix of Mac Miller and Jason Derulo. His most popular hits, “Rumors” and “Dazed and Confused,” feature pop-heavy beats and vocals with rap verses thrown in between. His music is juvenile but is sure to get anybody up and moving.

(Wintucky), 8 p.m., $23 ADV, $26 DOS. House of Blues.

The Nick Moss Band/David Loy and the Ramrods: With a robust career always broadening, Nick Moss keeps on trucking. His latest album, Time Ain’t Free, kicks around the highoctane Chicago blues that’s baked into his music for years. Among the notable highlights in his work are the screaming guitar solos he churns into his songs. Album opener “She Wants It” merges the tail end of one of those solos with a gospelstyle verse and a bridge back into the song’s heavy chorus. Masterful licks abound, and it’s clear that Moss is a terrific songwriter. The latest album closes out with “(Big Mike’s) Sweet Potato Pie,” a funk-laden stew complete with psychedelic leads from both the keys and the guitar. It’s an incredible finale. (Sandy), 8:30 p.m., $15. Beachland Tavern.

All Dinosaurs/Abertooth Lincoln/ Gypsyspyt: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Amplexus/Sorry Mom/Salvation Syndicate: 9 p.m., $10. Musica.

Ducktails/Itasca/Tuesday Boys: 9 p.m., $12. The Euclid Tavern.

Joe Hunter Trio + Strings: 8:30 p.m., $15. Nighttown.

The Jack Fords: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge.

Bill Lestock/J. Scott Franklin Quartet:

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 61

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

LIVEWIRE 8 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Rosavelt/Alexis Antes (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

The Josh Rzepca Quintet: The Music of Dizzy Gillespie, Clark Terry and Marcus Belgrave: 8 p.m., $15. BLU Jazz+.

Jeff Sherman (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Summer Soul Concert: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $28 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

The Under the Sun Tour with Sugar Ray/Better Than Ezra/Uncle Kracker/Eve 6: 7 p.m., $35-$55.

Hard Rock Rocksino.

The Velvet Teen/Ultrasphinxx/This is Antaractica: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Now That’s Class.

Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free.

Nighttown.

Yacht Rock with Chris Hatton: 3 p.m., Free. Music Box Supper Club.

SUN

08/02

Bombino: A while back, we named Bombino’s Nomad one of our 10 favorite albums from 2013. It’s been holding up nicely. Just imagine the sheer awesomeness of a virtuoso Tuareg guitarist (from Agadez, Niger) combined with the attitude of the Black Keys. Sounds great, right? That’s precisely how Nomad sounds because that’s precisely what the album is. Dan Auerbach produced the African musician’s second solo album, blending traditional Tuareg instrumentation and melodies with the scratchy boot-straps rock ‘n’ roll of our pals from Akron. Album opener “Amidinine” captures that vibe perfectly. Check out “Adinat” for a sense of that northern African percussion winding its way through electric guitars and American production values. Bombino hasn’t been around Cleveland too much, so tonight’s show offers a really great opportunity to catch a unique and stellar musician right here in town.

(Sandy), 8:30 p.m., $18. Beachland Ballroom.

August Noise Lunch: 4 p.m. Now That’s Class.

Chil/Before the Streetlights/Seldom Fade/The Weekend Classic: 7 p.m., $10. Musica.

Coordinated Suicides/Anxieties/ Pizza Creeps: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Giraffes? Giraffes!: 7:30 p.m., $10.

Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

Irish Sundays Featuring the Portersharks: 3 p.m., Free. Music Box Supper Club.

Rickie Lee Jones: 8 p.m., $33-$38. The Kent Stage.

The Lopez/Video Beast/Kid Tested/ Sweepyheads: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

Nostalgia Factor: 3 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Old Onions: 6 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Mike Petrone (in the Wine Bar): 5:30 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Snow tha Product/Audio Push: 8:30 p.m., $13 ADV, $15 DOS. Grog Shop.

The Summer Slaughter Tour with Arch Enemy/Born of Osiris/ Veil of Maya/The Acacia Strain/ Obscura/After the Burial/Cattle Decapitation/Beyond Creation: 2 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. Agora Ballroom.

Matthew E. White/The Sleepwalkers: 8:30 p.m., $10. Beachland Tavern.

MON

08/03

Van Halen/Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band: Given the bad blood that has existed between Van Halen singer David Lee Roth and guitarist Eddie Van Halen, we didn’t think this tour would actually get off the ground. But the tour commenced, as planned, at the beginning of July and has been going strong. It’s not just a greatest hits tour either.

The hard rock group has been opening the shows with “Light up the Sky,” a tune it hasn’t played live for something like 35 years, and included deep tracks such as “Feel Your Love Tonight,” “In a Simple Rhythm” and “Growth.” Of course, the group will also play hits such as “Runnin’ with the Devil” and “Panama.” While Roth has become a parody of himself, Van Halen can still shred. You have to figure this might be the last time these guys tour. (Niesel), 7:30 p.m., $36-$176.

Blossom.

Finger Eleven: 7 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. Agora Ballroom.

George Foley & Friends/Rick Szekelyi & Friends/Jennifer Hall: 6 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Mojo Big Band: 8 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge.

Morga Featuring David Munnelly: 7 p.m., $15. Nighttown.

Parachute/Jeff LeBlanc: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $22 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

Velvet Voyage (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

scene@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 63

BAND OF THE WEEK

Photo courtesy of Sam Hooper

THE SAM HOOPER GROUP

By Jeff Niesel MEET THE BAND: Sam Hooper (guitars, vocals), Sakait N. Baksar (keyboards), Mike Null (guitars, vocals), Derrick James (bass), Reggie Holmes (drums) A SUPERGROUP OF SORTS: With four CDs released on the FBJoy Records label, Hooper, who grew up in Shaker Heights, has assembled a significant discography. His songs have been featured on the daytime TV dramas All My Children and The Young & the Restless. The guys in his band are no slouches. Null is a multiinstrumentalist musician and singer who’s toured the U.S., Canada, Europe and Asia. Baksar plays with the local jazz-fusion band Horns and Things, and James is the music director for the band. Holmes has played with jazz greats such as Dizzy Gillespie, Pharoah Sanders, Ahmad Jamal, Sonny Stitt and others. “They have a wide background in jazz and R&B,” Hooper says of the band. “They help infuse the blues with that and give it more of a soul vibe. We do some traditional stuff too. They don’t follow the regular 1,4,5 [chord structure].

They take it to another level.”

STRAIGHT OUTTA SHANGHAI: Hooper and Null met in 2010 while playing in Shanghai to celebrate the 15th anniversary of the House of Blues & Jazz. They are regulars at the club and have developed a big following there. Hooper and Null are now based in the Cleveland/Akron area when they’re in the States, which isn’t often.

“My band has played there since 2004,” says Hooper. “We had a long residency. We play a few months at a time. When the club decided to have their anniversary, each week, they had a featured performer. They just flew me in and Mike’s band was the house band. They’re great musicians. We both had been in Boston. I was there for 20 years. He was there and was in the scene. We knew some of the same musicians. We rehearsed in a day and put a show together.”

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR HIM: samhooper.com WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR HIM: Produced by Hooper and Null and recorded by James Kananen in Cleveland at Bad Racket Studios, Hoodoo Blues, a new EP from Hooper and Null, features a classic blues sound. A song like “Messin’ with the Hook” features a terrific mid-song jam punctuated by some back and forth between Hooper and keyboardist Sakait Baksar. And Null delivers a gritty mid-song guitar solo too.

Mixing and mastering was handled

by India.Arie producer/engineer Jim Lightman at JL Productions in Nashville. “We were using some CDs as a blueprint — Joe Bonamassa and ZZ Top and Derek Trucks,” says Hooper. “We wanted it to have a contemporary cutting edge blues sound.” The album is currently available on iTunes, and Hooper hopes to tour regionally in support of it.

WHERE YOU CAN SEE HIM: The Sam Hooper Group performs at 8 p.m. on Friday, July 31, at the Bevy in Lakewood.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

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Keep iron City Cafe in mind to hoSt your Next FuNDraiSer!

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 65

b a r k i n g s p i d e r t a ve r n . c o m

LIVE MUSIC

NO COVER

HAVE A PICNIC, RELAX & ENJOY

Large seLection of e-cigs and Liquid

Thursday July 30 Prime Directive 8:00 (jazz) Oldboy 10:00 (alternative, folk, pop, rock)

Friday July 31 George Foley & Friends 5:30 (jazz) The North Coast Goats 8:00 (Americana) Terrain 10:00 (rock)

Saturday August 1 J. Scott Franklin Quartet 8:00 (jazz) Bill Lestock 10:00 (bluegrass, folk)

sMoKe Zone ii

Sunday August 2

13034 Lorain Avenue • Cleveland 216-251-3425

Nostalgia Factor 3:00 (jazz) Old Onions 6:00 (rock) 11310 JUNIPER RD., CLEVELAND • 216.421.2863

Find your happy hour.

Download SCENE’s official happy hour app today! clevescene.com/happyhours

NEW BRUNCH MENU! Amazing New Items Now Available But... We’ve Kept All The Favorites

SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS 10-11:30AM

COME CATCH THE TRIBE! $5.50 Pitcher Specials During ALL Games

SUMMER IS HERE! Enjoy The Weather On Our Patio Daily Drink Specials & $1.00 Jell-O Shots

Friday: 66

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

The Jobs

A RTS i n A UGUST freeartsprogrammingin Tremont’sLincolnPark

Presented in Partnership

cleveland

PUBLIC

theatre

Schedule of Events Cleveland Shakespeare Festival Saturday, August 1st, 7pm Sunday, August 2nd, 7pm

Cleveland Public Theatre’s STEP Friday, August 7th, 7pm

Arts Renaissance Tremont The Cleveland Jazz Orchestra with Paul Ferguson, Artistic Director and Evelyn Wright, Vocalist Saturday, August 8th, 7pm

Inlet Dance Theatre*

Thursday, August 13th, 8:30pm

GroundWorks DanceTheater* Friday, August 14th, 8:30pm

Verb Ballets*

Saturday, August 15th, 8:30pm

Harmonia

Friday, August 21st, 7pm

Cleveland Opera Theatre formerly Opera Per Tutti Saturday, August 22nd, 7pm Extras *7:45pm - OnStage* *A creative movement class with performance improvisation for kids of all ages will take place on the stage prior to the performance!

Members of Inlet Dance Theatre performing “Memoriate”, photo by Suzanne Sherbundy.

We would like to thank the residents of Cuyahoga County through a public grant from Cuyahoga Arts & Culture, Ohio Arts Council, Forest City, Third Federal Savings and Loan, Clear Channel Outdoor, Ohio Savings Bank, John and Karen Moss, LAND Studio, State Alarm, Howard Hanna - Ted Theophylactos, Medical Mutual, Stein Inc., Howard Hanna - Carolyn Bentley, Independence Excavating and our Tuesdays in Tremont participants Dante, Ty Fun Thai Bistro, Fat Cats, Prosperity Social Club, Grumpy’s Café, Crust, Lava Lounge, Tremont Tap House, Flying Monkey Pub, The Clark Bar, Bourbon Street Barrel Room, The South Side, Press Wine Bar, Lucky’s Café, and The Rowley Inn.

All Arts in August events are FREE and are held in Tremont’s Lincoln Park.

Please visit www.tremontwest.org for up to date information, rain locations and program details, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

FREE Parking along West 14th Street between Kenilworth and Starkweather on both the east and west side of the street!

w w w . t r e m o n t w e s t . o r g magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 67

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 69

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

SAVAGE LOVE GIRL PARTY

By Dan Savage

Dear Dan, I have always wanted to have a girlsonly sex party, but I’m not sure how I feel about actually organizing one. What’s the etiquette if I do organize one myself? Do I need to provide the dildos for people’s harnesses? Or just the condoms and lube?

And how do I find people who want to attend? Do I just tweet out an invite? Is there a better way that makes me seem less sketchy?

–No Snappy Acronym What I know about hosting girls-only sex parties could fit inside what I know about the Marvel universe with room left over for what I know about the Higgs boson—and all of that could fit inside Lindsey Graham’s chances of being president with room left over for Donald Trump’s humanity.

But luckily for you, NSA, I know someone who knows quite a lot about both girl sex and sex parties.

“Hosting a play party is much like hosting any other party,” said Allison Moon, a San Francisco–based writer and sex educator. “You want guests to feel welcome and comfortable—this means you provide lube, safer sex supplies, refreshments, and towels and/or puppy pads.”

Moon is the author of two popular lesbian werewolf novels—more are hopefully on their way—and the really terrific memoir Bad Dyke: Salacious Stories from a Queer Life. Her most recent book is Girl Sex 101, a terrific sex-ed book “for ladies and ladylovers of all genders and identities” that features girl-sex wisdom from an array of sex-positive superstars.

Moon has also hosted numerous sex parties, and says hosting a girls-only sex party does not obligate you to break open a piñata full of dildos as your guests arrive.

“Toys are the responsibility of guests,” said Moon. “If NSA has a few sparklingclean vibes and dildos that she doesn’t mind using as party favors, by all means put them out. I have a couple of Magic Wands that are great for getting the party started, because there’s always someone who’s wanted to try one.”

As for finding people who might want to attend your sex party, Moon and I both agree that putting an invite on Twitter—or Facebook or Instagram or Farmers Only or Yik Yak—is a very, very bad idea.

“NSA should stay away from social media to start,” said Moon. “Instead, she should make a list of friends who might be down and give them a call to see if they have friends they’d want to bring. Bonus points if she has friends who are up for

being used as ‘ringers.’ Lady parties are notorious for taking hours to warm up— someone has to be the first one in the pool, and a ringer can help get the party started.

Or she could consider some ice-breaking games, like spin the bottle, as a goofy way to get the girls ready to grind on each other.”

But let’s say you don’t have any friends who might want to come to your girls-only sex party—or you’re too chicken to ask your friends—is there another way?

“If her slutty-friend pool is small, she could look at sites devoted to sex-positive folks, like FetLife or her local chapter of a leather women’s group. But she should be super explicit about her women-only policy if she does post anywhere online, and she should also consider screening guests with a phone call. And I strongly recommend a closed-door policy, i.e., folks must arrive by a certain time or they can’t come in. This keeps you from having to monitor the door all night so you can enjoy your own damn party.”

You can follow Moon on Twitter @ TheAllisonMoon—and you should listen to a really moving story she shared recently on RISK!, Kevin Allison’s amazing podcast, about her friend Hans (“Four Orgies and a Funeral”). You can find RISK! on iTunes or at Risk-Show.com.

Dear Dan, I’m an early-30s gay man who’s never had much success with relationships.

However, I’m writing about a female friend of mine. We’ve known each other since college, and she’s generally wonderful but frequently pesters me with some variant of “So, when are you gonna settle down with a nice fella?” I try to deflect these comments without being too confrontational because I realize she wants me to be happy, but she never seems to get how annoying this is. I’d like some way to indicate, “You know relationships are not my forte and you’re hurting my feelings,” without having to risk hurting hers.

Friend’s Annoying Question So you’ve allowed a friend to hurt your feelings over and over again because you’re worried that telling her to knock it the fuck off might hurt her feelings? Speak the fuck up already, FAQ: “I have no idea if I’m ever going to settle down with a fella, nice or otherwise, and it hurts my feelings when you ask about it. So stop asking.”

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 29 - August 4, 2015 75