Shalom KJ - High Holy Day Issue

Burnout Lessons: Seek Your Shofar; Find Your Envelope

By Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz

A March 2022 study from Barna, a Christian research organization, showed that 42 percent of pastors had considered resigning in the previous year. In recent years, the coronavirus and political divisions have created enormous stress within congregations; but the trends in clergy burnout go back for over two decades. A New York Times article in 2010 cited multiple studies on clergy burnout. In 2005, the Presbyterian Church found that since the 1970s, the number of ministers leaving their jobs during their first five years of work had quadrupled. A 2002 survey of the Evangelical Lutheran Church found that 13 percent of their ministers were taking antidepressants. A seven-year study at Duke University of 1,726 Methodist ministers in North Carolina found that compared with congregants, the ministers reported significantly higher rates of arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, and asthma.

Clergy burnout is understandable because communal leadership is by its very nature difficult. Rashi (Numbers 11:28) famously says that if you place the burden of communal leadership on someone’s shoulders, “They will disintegrate on their own.” The old joke about a Jewish mother telling her son that being a rabbi is “not a job for a Jewish boy,” has a fair a bit of truth to it.

Thirty years ago, when I started to attend rabbinic conventions, I’d listen incomprehensibly when older colleagues spoke about burnout. I couldn’t understand why they burnt out. Being a rabbi was such a thrill, such a privilege, that I planned to do it for free after I retired!

But now I understand those colleagues. Even though I have been blessed in my career, there are some days when it is a challenge to get going with a song in my heart, when it seems more desirable to turn over and stay in bed.

Now, I’m not embarrassed by burnout, because I know I’m in good company. For example, this is what Moses says to God (Numbers 11:12), after another one of the Jews’ complaints in the desert: “Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant...?”

As exceptional a man as Moses was, he was still struggling to keep up with the demands of his position.

Similarly, listen to the words of Maimonides, in a letter to a student who wants to visit:

I will write you my daily schedule:

I live in Fostat, and the Sultan lives in Cairo. The distance between them is 4000 cubits [a mile and a half]. My duties to the Sultan are very heavy.…….by the time I come back to Fostat, half the day is gone. Under no circumstances do I come earlier. And I am ravenously hungry by then. When I come home, my foyer is always full of people – Jews and non-Jews, important people and not, judges and policemen, people who love me and people who hate me, a mixture of people, all of whom have been waiting for me to come home.... I apologize and ask that they should be kind enough to give me a few minutes to eat. That is the only meal I take in twenty-four hours……. Patients go in and out until nightfall, and sometimes – I swear to you by the Torah –it is two hours into the night before they are all gone. I talk to them and prescribe for them even while lying down on my back from exhaustion. …..On Shabbat, the whole congregation, or at least the majority of it, comes to my house after morning services, and I instruct the members of the community as to what they should do during the entire week. We learn together in a weak fashion until the afternoon. Then they all go home. Some of them come back and I teach more deeply between the afternoon and evening prayers…That is my daily schedule.

Now, after writing all of this, Maimonides throws in the kicker: “And I’ve only told you a little of what you would see if you would come.”

Sadly, from Moses to Moses, burnout has been the rabbi’s lot.

Rabbis are idealists, and they expect a lot from the world. And so, we get disappointed all the time.

I can tell you that looking back at 30 years in the rabbinate, that I expected more.

I expected more of Jewish leaders. Today, there are entire blogs devoted to collecting news articles about the failings and foolishness of Jewish leaders and rabbis. These misbehaving rabbis are my colleagues, and sometimes they are people I had deeply respected. And so it hurts me personally when I have to read about stupid rabbinic pronouncements: like the rabbis who write a book advocating the murder of Arab babies, or the rabbis insisting that parents should not call the police to report sexual abuse. Even worse are the scandals, the rabbis who make headlines for crimes ranging from shakedowns to sexually harassing students. Each scandal hurts, and each one makes me a bit more cynical.

I also expected more of the Jewish community. Teaching Judaism in North America feels like a Sisyphean task, pushing a boulder up a hill only to see it roll down again. Jews are assimilating rapidly; just look at the marriages page in The New York Times on any given Sunday, and you can see how many of our children are marrying non-Jews. And then you turn to the other pages of the newspaper and read about young Jews who are passionate opponents of the State of Israel. How is it that young Jews are sometimes Israel’s greatest enemies?

I also expected more from God. Sure, when I started in the rabbinate, I knew intellectually bad things happen to good people; I was familiar with the Book of Job. But I had never seen with my own eyes the pain and suffering families endure. But now I have. How can you not question when you see good people suffer?

Someone once remarked to me that it must be “easier” for me to deal with difficult funerals,

considering that now I have thirty years of experience. Actually, the opposite is true. If you go to one tragic funeral, you imagine that this is the only one and that it is a unique event. But if you go to ten tragic funerals, you have a terrible sinking feeling in your stomach, because you know full well that if there have been ten tragic funerals, there can be an eleventh, too.

Last but not least, I expected more from myself.

Burnout, however, is not a rabbinic preserve. The coronavirus caused a major disruption to everyone’s lives; and even today, nearly 60% of workers are experiencing some form of burnout.

One of the great lessons about burnout comes from the Talmud, which makes the remarkable statement that God, too, is disappointed every day. This passage (Avodah Zara 3b) relates that during “the second three hours of the day God sits in judgment on the whole world, and when He sees that the world is so guilty as to deserve destruction, He transfers Himself from the seat of Justice to the seat of Mercy.” Remarkably enough, God is so disappointed in humanity every day, that He needs to change his perspective to mercy in order to accept the world.

This Talmudic passage offers a powerful insight: Even for God, disappointment is a daily part of life. Even so, God manages to find a way to get over his disappointment. And so should all of us.

There are two steps in the process.

The first is found in a text in the Midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 29:3) that complements the one in the Talmud. It says that the moment God hears the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, He moves from the throne of justice to the throne of mercy.

How does the shofar affect such a dramatic change?

I think the answer is that when God listens to the shofar, He sees a different side of humanity. The

ram’s horn is a symbol of the akeidah, a permanent reminder of Abraham’s willingness to say “Hineni,” I am ready. And even if God sees all of the stupid and petty things man has done, God remembers that when the chips are down, man can say “Hineni,” “I am ready,” just like Abraham did.

When the chips are down, we aren’t all that disappointing.

There are times we feud, yes…but there are also times when we run to the hospital and mend old rifts. (But why does it have to wait for the hospital though?)

And when it comes to the Jewish people, when the chips are down, we always seem to survive. The Holocaust ravaged European Jewry; yet somehow, three years later, those same survivors are fighting in Israel’s War of Independence.

And even for myself, there are times when I can look at one or two things I helped with and say that if my entire career had been for this one thing, it would have been worth it.

When we are burnt out, we need to do what God does and see the best side of our community, ourselves, and of the Jewish future. When the chips are down, we see who we really could be; and remarkably, we’re usually a lot better than we thought we were!

But that alone is not enough. There is a second step: embracing the importance of disappointment. This, too, can guide us out of burnout.

The strange thing about disappointment is that it seems to be part of God’s plan. In the Talmudic text we cited, it says that God gets disappointed every day. In the Midrash we cited, it says God is disappointed every Rosh Hashanah. And indeed, Rashi cites a Midrash that says that even during creation, God wanted to create a world that would withstand judgment, only to realize that it was impossible.

So, the obvious question is: why does God keep disappointing Himself? If at the very beginning He knew that the world would come up short when judged, why does He keep trying to judge the world? Isn’t it exhausting?

It may be exhausting, but it’s worth it. Judgment reminds us of who we really are. All of us start with a dream – a plan, no different than God’s. We have high hopes. But we get sidetracked and lost.

Being a good spouse drifts because we’re too distracted.

Being a good parent gets lost because we’re too busy.

Having good values gets lost because we’re too ambitious.

We forget who we

are.

And so, we need to be disappointed, if only to remind ourselves of our own original plan. Disappointment helps leads us back home.

Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik explains that Teshuva, repentance, is a way of recovering our true selves. Sin is a by-product of losing our way while we chase foolish dreams and trivial goals. Teshuva is returning to our true identity. He writes:

While, in sin, man misidentifies and alienates himself from himself, in the case of Teshuva he reverses the process of misidentification: he discovers himself, and “returns” to his true self.

Burnout is our soul’s way of telling us to come home again; and on Rosh Hashanah, the holiday of disappointment, we need to remember to come home, to do Teshuva, and get back to our true selves.

Or, if I can put it another way, we need to find our envelope.

Let me explain.

Dr. David Pelcovitz visited Montreal a few years ago and told me a powerful story. A nine-year-old girl, encouraged by her mother, started to volunteer by visiting an elderly woman who had lost most of her eyesight. One day, while chatting with the young girl, the woman explained that she could recover her eyesight if she could have a small operation; but because she was on a fixed income, she lacked the resources to pay for this expensive procedure. Inspired to action, the girl went home and told her mother that she was going to do a fundraiser to pay for the elderly woman’s operation. The mother

smiled at her daughter’s good intentions, but assumed, like most parents, that her daughter’s naive dream would soon disappear.

The next day, the girl went to school and began to raise money. She went from class to class, from teacher to teacher, and at the end of the day, after all the change had been exchanged into bills, the girl had a grand total of 83 dollars. She took the thick envelope stuffed with singles and ran off to her elderly friend. Not knowing much about contemporary medical economics, the girl announced to her elderly friend that she had raised the money for the operation! So, the young girl and the elderly woman took a short walk over to the local ophthalmologist’s office.

The doctor examined the elderly woman, and says yes, she is a candidate for the procedure, and he can do it right away. At that point, the young girl chirps up and says that she will pay for the procedure and produces the envelope with the 83 dollars.

The doctor performs the operation.

The girl comes home, and reports to her mother the day’s events. The mother is mortified; she assumes that her daughter has somehow misled the doctor. She runs to the doctor’s office to apologize, and to negotiate a way to pay him the balance. As the mother continues to talk, the doctor cuts her off in mid-sentence and opens his jacket. In his inside pocket is the envelope, stuffed with singles; the doctor had not put the cash away. He told the mother that this envelope was far more precious to him than any amount of money, because this envelope reminded him of goodness of humanity and why he became a doctor in the first place.

Our job is to find the envelope in our pockets and remember who we really are. This envelope, the very essence of our inner goodness, is always there, waiting to be rediscovered.

When we find ourselves too lost in our ambitions, and a little girl comes to our office with a ridiculous dream, listen to what she has to say. Because she might be carrying an envelope with infinite value, one that reminds us of who we really are.

Shanah Tova!! •

Echoes of Empathy: The Shofar’s Message for a Divided World

by rabbi roy feldman

A Society Divided

Division in our society is causing a severe breakdown in civil discourse and social interactions, leading to a concerning proliferation of Sinat Chinam, baseless animosity, and hatred. A “Perception Gap,” or the inability to truly understand and relate to those with differing perspectives, fueling animosity and discord, has only intensified over time. Social psychologists have identified this Perception Gap as a significant obstacle to constructive dialogue and understanding.

A poignant consequence of this growing disconnect is the decline of empathy in our society. Scholars, like Jamil Zaki from Stanford University, have observed a disturbing trend of reduced empathy in an increasingly divided world. Our modern lifestyle, characterized by digital bubbles and reduced face-to-face interactions, has contributed to this decline in kindness and understanding.

Empathy, a vital aspect of human connection, can be measured by various psychological assessments. Disturbingly, data collected over the years indicates a noticeable decrease in empathy levels. In 2009, the average person exhibited less empathy than 75% of individuals in 1979, and one can only speculate that this trend intensified since the 2009 study.

As a society built upon interpersonal connections, we must earnestly consider whether this state of affairs is inevitable. Can we break free from the shackles of polarization and cultivate greater empathy? The message of the Shofar has one suggestion.

The Mitzvah of Shofar: Hearing or Sounding?

Gathered in anticipation, the congregation on Rosh Hashanah awaits the evocative sound of the shofar. A moment of profound significance, the shofar’s call marks the commencement of introspection and spiritual renewal. Before the shofar’s voice resounds, a blessing is uttered that ignites a long-standing debate about the essence of this mitzvah. Is the mitzvah of the shofar to hear it, or to sound it?

On one hand, some sages suggest that the mitzvah lies in the act of listening to the shofar’s sound. Maimonides is of this opinion, and passages in tractate Rosh Hashanah further reinforce this notion, emphasizing that if someone sounds the shofar without hearing its sound, they have not fulfilled the mitzvah. The act of hearing the shofar’s sound thus serves as the fulfillment of the commandment.

On the other hand, a formidable faction contends that the mitzvah lies in the act of sounding the shofar. This perspective is consistent with the blessing we recite, “Blessed are You, God, who commanded us to sound the shofar.” The fact that there are a myriad of rules and regulations regarding the qualifications of the shofar blower and the specific sounds and sequences required point to this perspective as well.

Rabbi Chaim Soloveitchik, the 19th-century founder of the Brisker school of Talmud, expounded on a profound concept regarding the nature of commandments in Jewish tradition. According to Reb Chaim’s teachings, every commandment is comprised of two integral components: the “ma’aseh” (action) and the “kiyum” (essential fulfillment or essence) of the mitzvah.

In most cases, the action of the mitzvah and its essence are synonymous. For instance, when shaking a Lulav, the physical act itself serves as the essence of that particular mitzvah. However, in certain instances, the two components diverge, as exemplified by the act of prayer. While the action involves verbally reciting the words of prayer, the essence lies in developing a deep understanding within our hearts, recognizing that we are standing before the Almighty and engaging in a profound conversation with Him. Shakespeare put it best in Hamlet: After praying, Claudius remarks, “Words without thoughts never to heaven go.”

Rabbi Chaim extended this principle to the observance of the Shofar. He suggested that both the sounding of the instrument and the act of listening to it constitute the mitzvah. The sounding serves as the ma’aseh, with numerous rules and regulations determining who may perform the act, how it should be done, the type of shofar used, and so forth. Nevertheless, the essence, the kiyum, is found in the attentive listening to the shofar’s sound and the appropriate response it evokes.

As Maimonides articulated, the shofar’s sound serves as a call to awaken from spiritual slumber, prompting introspection, repentance, and remembrance of our Creator. The essence of the shofar is internal, residing within our hearts and minds, as we respond to its spiritual message. The shofar must be sounded, but the essence is the listening.

Sounding in Order to Hear

Through Reb Chaim’s interpretation, we unearth an illuminating revelation that transcends the confines of ritualistic practice. The mitzvah of the shofar holds profound potential for healing our fragmented world, which lacks compassion, empathy, and genuine dialogue among people. The shofar’s essence lies in the act of listening, symbolizing the formula for fostering greater compassion and empathy in our interactions with one another.

Studies indicate that only a meager 10 percent of individuals listen effectively, primarily due to technological distractions, overwhelming to-do lists, and preoccupying thoughts. As a consequence, we often listen with the intent to respond rather than to understand, hindering meaningful dialogue.

Listening, as the keystone of conversation, plays a pivotal role in the cultivation of empathy and compassion. While speaking is necessary, it represents the

action (the ma’aseh) which should be guided and regulated, much like the act of sounding the shofar. Being considerate of what we say, how we say it, and when we say it is essential, as not all thoughts warrant expression, and hasty words can lead to insensitivity, offense, or unhelpful interactions.

Research has shown that combining active listening with thoughtful speaking fosters understanding and strengthens relationships, generating trust and reducing conflicts. Such communication promotes empathy and compassion, as sharing and listening to one another’s stories prompt us to enter another person’s world, establishing genuine connections.

Incorporating the essence of the shofar’s mitzvah into our interactions with one another, we embark on a transformative journey of healing and understanding. By asking open-ended questions and approaching conversations with compassionate hearts, we bridge the chasm that separates us and create a space for genuine connection. As we endeavor to listen, truly listen, we gain insights into the struggles and triumphs of our fellow humans, kindling a newfound sense of Ahavat Yisrael - love and kinship among our people.

Imagine a world where empathy guides our interactions, where conversations are fueled by a sincere desire to understand, not just to reply.

Inspired by the shofar’s mystique, we have the capacity to unleash the potential for compassion, healing, and unity.

As we approach this Rosh Hashanah, let us heed the timeless call of the shofar, beckoning us to embrace the mitzvah of empathetic listening and careful speaking. Through this profound act, we unlock the gateway to a world where divisions crumble, animosity recedes, and love flourishes. •

Forget the Small Steps: Take a Leap from Zero to One

by rabbi meyer laniado

The significance of Rosh Hashanah is not the new year, the first day of another year, but the absolute FIRST of ALL years. Rosh Hashanah is the monumental shift when the world went from absolute zero to one. From nothing to something.

In our prayers, we recite: “Hayom techilat ma’asecha, zichron l’yom rishon.” “Today marks the beginning of Your [God’s] creations, a remembrance of THE first day.” This symbolic declaration represents a seismic change, surpassing incremental or exponential growth.

Zero to one is a radical departure—a leap from the absence of a concept to its sudden existence, from non-action to action. It is the profound moment when something emerges from nothingness. It ushers in new possibilities and unprecedented transformation. This departure shatters conventional expectations and disrupts the status quo, moving away from incrementalism toward a leap into uncharted territory.

Humanity’s creation was a revolutionary change to a qualitatively different level of existence, transcending all preceding life forms. Endowed with selem Elohim, we possess rationality, reason, and intelligence far beyond any other creature (Beresheit 1:26-27; Moreh Nebukhim 1:1). This unique capacity for meta-thinking and theoretical mathematics has spurred groundbreaking achievements, such as space travel and sending a rocket to the moon. Embracing our extraordinary creative power and potential is the essence of Rosh Hashanah.

Rosh Hashanah reminds us to challenge ourselves and express our unique humanness, our selem Elohim. Note that we do not confess or repent on Rosh Hashanah. There are no supplications or confessions. We recognize the singular moment of God’s creation, the world’s creation, and humanity’s creation. How God created a new world, a new existence that surpassed all models, frameworks, probabilities, and potentialities. Most importantly, humanity was gifted with this capacity. As our rabbis described, we are each an ‘olam maleh (Mishna Sanhedrein 4:5),’ a full world, a pregnant

world, full of possibilities and a potentiality to go beyond the probable to create paradigm-shifting innovation.

In personal and professional pursuits, we often seek comfort in the practical and the proven, gravitating towards incremental improvements, relying on the tried and tested. However, to experience transformative growth, we must be willing to venture into uncharted territory and break free from convention.

History demonstrates that those great individuals who left an indelible mark on humanity embraced the unknown, the implausible, and previously deemed impossible. Despite the risks of failure and others’ skepticism, they forged ahead with unwavering determination. Their bravery, perseverance, and suspension of disbelief led to groundbreaking advancements in technology, innovation, philosophy, art, literature, and general human capability.

Ribbi Aqiba exemplifies the leap from zero to one. The Midrash haGadol portrays a middle-aged, illiterate, poor shepherd guiding someone else’s flock. His destiny is dramatically altered when he changes course and devotes himself to Torah study. The transformative journey he ignited established the foundation of the Judaism we know today.

But Ribbi Aqiba’s path was not linear. Abot deRibbi Natan relates his epiphany, experienced while standing by a well one day: “If something soft can carve something hard, then all the more so, the words of Torah, which are like steel, can engrave themselves on my heart, which is but flesh and blood.” That was the moment he “immediately went to start studying Torah.”

However, in Midrash haGadol, Ribbi Aqiba does not immediately join the Yeshiva to begin his studies. Ribbi Aqiba returns home after this eureka moment at the well. Even after his wife encourages him to join the Yeshiva in Jerusalem, he hesitates, concerned that the other students–

children–could mock him.

His wife provides brilliant advice. She says: “Let’s do something radical.” She covers a donkey with dirt and plants a garden on it. Then, she instructs Ribbi Aqiba to take the “donkey garden” to the market. On both the first and second days, the people in the market mock Ribbi Aqiba. But by the third day at the market - no one ridiculed him anymore. “Go and learn Torah,” she said. “Today they will laugh at you. Tomorrow they may laugh at you. But on the third day, they will no longer mock you.”

We can relate more to the Midrash haGadol version of the story, where even after his well epiphany, Ribbi Aqiba was still hesitant to venture into the unknown. His wife acknowledged that scorn will ensue, but eventually, others would no longer view his actions as unusual. Many visionary thinkers and inventors encountered similar challenges. Yet, their persistence eventually generated the new norm.

This midrash is noteworthy because Ribbi Aqiba’s “zero to one” moment was NOT his mindset shift at the well, as the story continues without him taking any forward action. Rather, it was his realization that he needed to “jump in” to the Yeshiva and transform from a non-student to a student. That was the moment when his conception was brought forth into the world.

On Rosh Hashanah, we revisit our hopes, dreams, big ideas, and epiphanies. And over the course of the year, we, too, will, as Ribbi Aqiba did, find reasons why they will not work, be possible, or be worth it. Sometimes, we are right, but if we truly desire it, return to it year after year, and continue to hope for it, we need to take that radical step.

Our selem Elohim has imbued us with the ability to envision new realities. God asks us on Rosh Hashanah, the day the world went from zero to one – to make our own “zero to one” step now and step boldly into the horizon of the unknown. •

broken glory

by rachel kraus

Kintsugo is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery – mending the breakage with powdered gold, silver or platinum, treating breakage and repair as the art – rather than disguising the fractures it becomes a feature.

The roots of broken beauty are firmly planted in our history – in Parshat Eikev.

Moshe recounts the shattering of the luchot (Devarim 10:1):

“Carve out two tablets of stone like the first, and I will inscribe on the tablets the commandments, that were on the first tablets, that you smashed, and you shall deposit them in the ark.”

This is not the first time HaShem blames—overtly and blatantly blames—Moshe for smashing the luchot. It not only seems like an unnecessary detail, but one that casts Moshe as the villain. The pasuk easily could have read “I will write the same words that were on the first.” Period. The end . Why do we need

When the luchot are first shattered back in Sefer Shemot (Shemot 34:1), there too the pasuk states:

“Carve two tablets of stone like the first… and I will inscribe upon the tablets the words that were on the first tablets, which you shattered .”

And in Parshat Eikev it repeats, punctuating yet again, ָתְּרַבִּשׁ רֶשֲׁא , the luchot you, Moshe broke. In the reading of both versions, the phrasing and emphasis on ָתְּרַבִּשׁ רֶשֲׁא is more than just an included fact, there is something about the second set of luchot that requires us to know the emphasized, repeated and explicit detail that it was Moshe who broke them.

The Gemara Bava Batra (14b) famously notes:

“Both the first set of shattered luchot and the second, intact luchot, lived side by side in the Ark.” But the gemara continues, Reish Lakish said,

: ‘Great job Moshe! What a winner! How praiseworthy that you broke the luchot.’

And the broken trophy is placed side by side in the Ark in the Kodesh

HaKedoshim. Not only is the first set not an unfortunate splintering loss or disintegration from the closeness with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it is celebrated!

This cherished celebrated brokenness presents a further problem. We know that on Yom Kippur, the holiest day, the kohen gadol would change out his golden garments before entering the Kodesh HaKedoshim, as famously noted רוגינס

“A defense attorney cannot be the prosecutor.”

How can the kohen gadol enter in gold, which is reminiscent of the golden calf, and ask for forgiveness on behalf of the nation? So, the kohen gadol changes his clothes in order not to flaunt the memories of the golden calf, and yet, in permanent, proud residence, a celebrated artifact, were the broken luchot, which are not a hint to the golden calf, it is a direct result, an actual symbol OF the golden calf, and that has permanent stature, not just stature, PRAISED ESSENCE –

These broken tablets are a reminder of what HaShem cherishes most, the broken pieces. The broken pieces in fact serve as the defendant, a corroborating testimony to the love, affection, and prized closeness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu and his people – an honorable symbol - the cherished shivrei luchot.

The Midrash describes that on the second set of luchot HaShem tells Moshe not to worry, not to be distraught at what was broken, but this second set would be replete with even greater depth.

How wonderful, how praiseworthy that Moshe broke the luchot, the last word is ָתְּרַבִּשֶּׁשׁ , Moshe’s legacy as framed by Rashi is

“Thank you, Moshe, for the luchot you broke.“

is an integral description of what was written into, what needed to be luchot. The brokenness of the first luchot will be included and emblemized in the second set. ‘Mending the breakage with powdered gold, treating the breakage and repair as the improved art, fractures become the features.’ The Torah is emphatic and deliberate –

The very fragmented pieces of the first set – the brokenness of the first set, will be part of the reality, vitality and eternal essence of the second luchot - a permanent, cherished and celebrated feature. The pieces don’t just live side by side; it’s not merely that our fractures are klei kodesh, holy and live next to the intact second set: the second set was formed from the pieces of the first.

“The second will be even more robust, full of halakhah, midrash, agada, Hidden wisdom that will be double comforting.” Comforting, celebrated brokenness? And our question deepens even further – why do we need the explicit repetition that Moshe broke the luchot?

At the very end of Moshe’s life, his lasting legacy, the very last words of the Torah at the end of Sefer Devarim:

“I will write the second set, with the broken words of the first.” Emerging from the pieces of destruction, from the ashes of Tisha B’Av, we are migrating from broken and fractured priorities, betrayal, and detachment, towards something that is deeper and beyond teshuva, the pieces become cherished, recast and transformed, glorified as they are woven into and mended into the new set.

Moshe is praised for the shattering, because that unleashed exponential power, transforming acts of betrayal into cherished mended beauty. This second set was endowed with deeper appreciation, deeper love – not only is hope not lost, the second set not only compensates the first – but offers something so much bigger, הָיִּשׁוּתְל

“and for all the great might and awesome power that Moses displayed before all Israel.”

Rashi there explains, on the very last words of the Torah, and in fact Rashi’s very last commentary on the Torah –

, what was it that he did? What was Moshe’s lasting legacy in the eyes of the entire nation?!

Rashi continues, and concludes his words, his very last commentary on the Torah:

, double comfort, transformed fragments into feature, transposing pieces into center pieces. There is a beauty and closeness in the shattered pieces. Not estranged, not lost in chaos, it is restored in cherished glory:

Moshe's finest moment, his final legacy, was showing humanity how to take brokenness and transform it into Kodesh HaKedoshim – an arresting grace of beauty in the cracks – not just side by munachim b’aron:

Moshe taught us about exponential return, transforming shattered into sacred, repairing ruptures into cherished glory. •

Delivered at KJ, Parshat Re’eh, 2023/5783

Preparing Ourselves for Yamim Noraim: The High Holy Day Questionnaire

by rabbi daniel & rachel kraus

Yom Kippur is a day that many of us will spend in deep prayer and contemplation. Over the past decade and a half, teaching High Holy Day workshops, we added a tool that has been an insightful guide to us and have shared in our teaching. Performance reviews are commonplace and expected: a structured format to reflect and review about what we have accomplished. In the same way, there is a need for a spiritual and religious performance review, to reflect and review on what we have done and project on what can be.

We offer this questionnaire as a wonderful prompt for you to use over Yom Kippur and beyond.

1) When do I most feel that my life is meaningful?

2) How often do I express my feelings to those who mean the most to me?

3) Are there any ideals I would be willing to die for?

4) If I could live my life over, would I change anything?

5) What would bring me more happiness than anything else in the world?

6) What are my three most significant achievements since Rosh Hashanah?

7) What are the three biggest mistakes I’ve made since last Rosh Hashanah?

8) If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I undertake to accomplish in life?

9) What are my three major goals in life? What am I doing to achieve them? What practical steps can I take toward these goals?

10) If I could give my children only three pieces of advice, what would they be?

11) What is the most important decision I need to make this year?

12) What important decision did I avoid making last year?

13) When do I feel closest to God?

14) Do I have a vision of where I want to be one, three and five years from now?

15) What are the most important relationships in my life? Over the last year did those relationships become closer and deeper or was there a sense of stagnation and drifting? What can I do to nurture those relationships this year?

16) If I could change one thing about my spiritual life, what would that be?

On a scale of one to five (five being the highest), how important are the following to you? You cannot have more than three fives or three fours, and you must have at least two threes, two twos and two ones. 1)

The Scream & The Silence: Youth Engagement During the High Holy Days

by ruthie hollander

At eight or nine years old, I was not yet fasting, but I recall walking around the synagogue halls that Yom Kippur, looking for my friends behind closed doors. The rooms were dark, and I stumbled into them one by one until I came across an older woman I knew from the community. My entrance wasn’t noted — she was too focused on her prayers — and I found myself transfixed by the shimmer of tears and deep, deep emotion on her face. Today, I can still picture that moment with clarity. I can still feel those strange butterflies I felt that day as a private observer of such intense emotion.

The High Holy Days seem consequential, grown-up. While adults engage with weighty thoughts of atonement and renewal, children classically focus on apples and honey. After all, it’s undeniably more fraught to have moral conversations with children than to pique their curiosity by running an epic Pesach seder. Adults often run far from these educational opportunities, telling themselves that young children don’t need them. Our discomfort around discussions of failure, assessment, and growth resonates during the High Holy Days.

There is no use hiding children from strong feelings like pain, shame, rage, awe, inferiority, or grief. They feel these things too, perhaps with even greater purity. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel describes the state of spirituality as “radical amazement” and at the core of this is both the ability to experience great joy and to experience great sorrow. Children whose positive and negative emotional experiences are nourished and affirmed have the capacity to be deeply spiritual beings. And many children are yearning to be recognized in this way. They may be asking you — though it may just be a kol de’mamah dakah: a small, pure whisper.

As we approach the Yamim Noraim (aptly, “Days of Awe”) this year, take a few minutes with your young child or spend an hour with your older one. Ask them what they know about this time period; have a conversation about apologies and confession, judgment and growth. You can use some of the questions included on the page 14 in our youth simanim guide, if it helps.

In the words of the poet Yehuda Amichai: “As for the scream, as for the silence, / I am always a shofar: / Hoarding, all year long, its one blast / For the terrible Days of Awe.”

It’s easy to push the scream and the silence away. But do we know how to listen? •

Welcome Ruthie Hollander!

Dear KJ Community,

My name is Ruthie, and I’m so excited to be here with you as your new Youth Director!

I know I have big, fun, caring, silly, colorful shoes to fill — and I join you in thanking Chevy, who has shared so much of her joy and creativity with the KJ community and who has helped me transition into this role with wisdom and grace.

A little bit about my background: I was born in Germany, grew up in Michigan, and have spent the last seven years in the NY/NJ area. Over the last few years, I’ve worked at a variety of Jewish nonprofits teaching, running programs, and developing creative strategies for engagement. Nowadays, in addition to being here at KJ, I’m at the OU running their Executive Fellowship. My husband Max (who’s a rabbinical school student at YU) and I just moved to the Upper East Side with our fluffy dog, Momo, and our very cute almost-one-year-old daughter Mila.

Since I’m new here, I might need some help learning all your names. I’ll give you some conversation starters to make it easy for you!

You can ask me about….

• why I love but will never own goats, or

• the time I kicked a tree thinking it was a soccer ball, or

• my ultimate challah topping, or

• the year I read 250 books, or

• going to kindergarten in Israel, or

• my dog’s full name, or

• the time I tried and failed to get a fish pedicure, or

• why I just really love Pesach.

Because it’s a new year, I’m excited to introduce two new programs for KJYD: the Cocoa Club for Parsha Pals and Chesed in the City! I’ll include more information below. Both of them are designed to get us thinking about Jewish ideas, learning Torah, and developing our Middot Tovot. While Cocoa Club for Parsha Pals is for KJYD-ers of all ages, Chesed in the City is for 6th and 7th graders. My mission with you at KJYD is to find the fun and the depth in Judaism, to embrace both the joyful and the difficult mitzvot and celebrations we share, and to learn something new every single time we see each other. I’m always here to talk about youth programming, what you are looking for or struggling with, your big ideas, or anything else that’s on your mind.

Together, let’s leap, create, pray, laugh, observe, dance, and fall even more deeply in love with being Jewish.

Warmly, Ruthie

By Ruthie Hollander

New Year’s Resolutions that Last

By Maya Yashar / 7th grader at ramaz

We’re getting close to Rosh Hashanah, and this is the time of year when people focus on self-reflection and improvement. The problem is, people usually reflect on who they want to be rather than who they are and what they can be.

The Midrash teaches, “Everything that came into being during the first six days of creation requires improvement – for example, the mustard seed needs to be sweetened” (Bereshit Rabbah 11:6).

Adam and Chava, the first man and woman, were created not fully perfect and they made big mistakes. God wanted everyone to have their imperfections AND perfections — He made us that way from the beginning.

Why would God create us imperfect?

I think the answer is that if everyone was perfect, there would be no point of living. If everyone was perfect, there would be no self-purpose and no self-improvement.

Usually at the secular new year, people write new year’s resolutions (for example: working out), and often those resolutions only last a few weeks. But that’s not selfimprovement.

What

is real self-improvement?

Rather than making big changes, make smaller, more gradual ones so that these small changes become lasting habits. Don’t start working out five days a week — instead go to the gym once a week, then twice, and so on.

This Rosh Hashanah, I hope everyone can reflect and find something small that they can improve about themselves. Perhaps make the effort to call a family member to wish them a good shabbos or chag sameach. In the words of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov: If you won’t be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?

Shana Tova U’Metukah!

*To have your D’var Torah featured in the next KJYD section of Shalom KJ, email ruthie@ckj.org.

Kol Ha’Nearim - voices of our children

Tashlich with KJYD details: page 23.

KJYD High Holy Day Programming

BAR MITZVAH YEAR

2023-24 EVENTS

TBD Young Couples Social

NOV 2 Challah Bake

NOV 4 KJ Sephardic Shabbaton

NOV 21 Annual Thanksgiving Fire House Visit

JAN 21 Annual Family Ski Trip

MAR 8 Family Friday Night Dinner

MAR 16 Women’s Purim

Megillat Esther Class with Rabbi Laniado

KIDDUSH LUNCH

SEPT 9 Nisabim-Vayelekh

SEPT 23 Teshuba-Ha’azinu

DEC 2 Vayishlah

JAN 13 Vaera

MAR 23 Zakhor-Vayiqra

MAY 18 Behar

sephardicminyan@ckj.org

Sponsorship opportunities available.

Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur

Welcome! with KJ Sephardic

Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun warmly welcomes the following new members who joined the Congregation between the printing of the last Bulletin, June 26, and this Bulletin, which went to press on August 31:

Mark Bienstock

Rishav Eliyahu Dasgupta

Danielle Sade and Noam Elharar

Laura Lorenz and Michael Friedman

Zipporah and Dr. Danny Khalil Dr. Carli and Jeremy Levart

Joanna and Jordan Lipstadt

Rachel and Michael Moskowitz

Debra Abramov and Dr. Raoul Rosenthal

Judith and Marshall Siegel

Sissy and Dr. Gary Stein

Commemorating 9.11

Shabbat Nitzavim-Vayeilech / Sept 9

Special Program follows 9:00 am Morning Services

Featuring Spencer Horn, Assistant Special Agent in Charge for Criminal Matters, NY Field Office

”The FBI’s Counterterrorism Mission: Our Highest Priority”

SEPTember 9

Scholar-inResidence shabbat

NITZAVIM-VAYEILECH

Featuring

Rav Yosef Zvi Rimon, Chief Rabbi of Gush Etzion

6:05 pm - Pre-Mincha Shiur

"Rosh Hashanah Simanim: Customs, Concepts & Significance"

6:50 pm - Evening Services

Followed by Seudah Shlishit

"Olam Chessed Yibaneh"

Rav Rimon is Chief Rabbi of Gush Etzion and Rosh Yeshiva of Lev Academic Center (JCT). Rav Rimon is the founder of "Sulamot", which advances innovations in Torah education globally, and "La'Ofek," which works with marginalized populations in Israel, helping them to become gainfully employed.

A Call to Everyone Dear Friends,

Every year we appeal to our family around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur to ask everyone to support the Sandy Eisenstat Benevolent Fund of KJ. If ever there was a year in which the Benevolent Fund needs strengthening it is this year when so many in our family and outside are in serious need of help.

We feel that this is almost like a Passover Relief Appeal about which Jewish law says, you are either on the receiving end or the giving end. If you don’t need to receive, you have an obligation to give.

We are supporting people in this community who used to be very generous donors to the Benevolent Fund and who now need the Fund’s support. We also need to respond to the needs of others beyond our community and in Israel. We very much want to be able to say yes when called upon by people who need and deserve our help. Your generosity will make that response possible.

Please, therefore, be as generous as you possibly can. Send in your gift to the KJ Benevolent Fund by check, or online at ckj.org/pay using the pulldown donation bar to select Benevolent Fund, or in any way which enables you to perform a great mitzvah during this High Holy Day season.

Repentance, prayer and charity alleviate the evil in the decree.

May God bless us all with a year of health, happiness and peace.

The Mysterious Shofar of Yom Kippur

Shabbat Shuva Drasha

Presented by Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz

Shabbat, September 23

Following 9:00 am Services (11:00 am - 11:30 am)

Location - Main Sanctuary, 125 East 85th Street

Dedicated by Suzy and Larry Present in memory of Suzy’s parents, Sarah and Emanuel Goldberger.

Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz • Rabbi Roy Feldman • Rabbi Haskel Lookstein • Rabbi Meyer Laniado

Holiday Highlights

THE MONTH OF ELUL

• Sounding of the Shofar each morning after Shacharit

• Recitation of the entire Book of Psalms at KJ

• Saturday Night, September 9 at 10:00 PM Selichot Services in the Main Synagogue with Cantor Chaim Dovid Berson and Guest Speaker Sivan Rahav Meir (see p. 17).

• Beginning Monday, September 11, Daily Selichot Services, a half-hour before morning services.

ROSH HASHANAH

Beginning of God’s Judgment

• Saturday, September 16 & Sunday, September 17

• Sounding the Shofar around 10:00 AM on Sunday (when the first day of Rosh Hashanah is Shabbat, the Shofar is not sounded)

• Those ill at home or in the hospital should contact Rabbi Feldman, rrf@ckj.org , to arrange for Shofar Blowing

Rituals to Remember

• Lighting of candles and Shehecheyanu blessing

• Rosh Hashanah Kiddush

• Washing of hands and motzi over two round challahs and dipping the pieces in honey (continued through Hoshanah Rabbah)

FIRST NIGHT

Rosh Hashanah greeting upon leaving shul: l’shanah tova tikateivu v’teichateimu. “May you be inscribed for a Good Year.”

Dipping of apple in honey with blessing over fruit: Y’hi ratzon milfanecha, Adonai Eloheinu v’Elohei avoteinu shetchadesh aleinu shanah tovah um’tukah. “May it be Thy will, o God, to grant us a good and sweet new year.”

SECOND NIGHT

The practice of reciting the Shehecheyanu blessing on the second night is questionable, so we eat a new fruit not yet eaten this season after Kiddush and the hamotzi. We keep in mind that new

fruit when reciting or listening to Shehecheyanu at Kiddush and/or the blessing over the lighting of the candles, thereby fulfilling the obligation.

SECOND DAY / SUN, SEPT 17

Tashlich (when the first day of Rosh Hashanah is Shabbat, Tashlich is performed on the second day): Assemble at Central Park’s “Turtle Pond” by the castle just south of the Great Lawn near 85th Street, or at Carl Schurz Park at 86th Street and the East River.

MON, SEPT 18

Tsom Gedaliah (Fast Day)

10 DAYS OF PENITENCE

Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur

• Accept new, improved behavior and responsibility in relating to God and one another.

THE MIKVEH ON THE EVE OF YOM KIPPUR

Every year on the eve of Yom Kippur, there is a custom for men to immerse in the mikveh in preparation for this holy day. One need not be a holy person to participate in this activity. On the contrary, for those of us who are just trying to be observant Jews, it is an added inspiration and preparation for a great day of introspection. Our practice at KJ is that we observe this custom as a group before the morning service.

All MEN are invited to assemble at the mikveh, 419 East 77th Street (between First and York Avenues) at 7:15 AM on Sunday, September 24. Everyone will have the opportunity to immerse and then we will return to KJ for 8:10 am Shacharit services.

YOM KIPPUR

• Avoidance of food, drink, washing, lotions and oils, and marital relations

• Refraining from wearing leather shoes (wear a pair of nonleather footwear)

• Men are strongly encouraged to wear a white kitel which can be obtained at our neighborhood store, Judaica Classics by Doina: 212-722-4271.

Rosh Hashanah Overview

Prepared by Rabbi Daniel & Rachel Kraus

This brief overview of Rosh Hashanah laws and customs is not meant to be complete, but will hopefully help you prepare for and enjoy this High Holiday season. Visit ckj.org/rhyk for all KJ High Holy Day details. For personal questions beyond the scope of this article, please visit ckj.org/our-team and contact one of the KJ rabbis.

I. Preparing for Rosh Hashanah

A. Physical and Spiritual Preparation

There are both physical and spiritual preparations for Rosh Hashanah. On the physical side, it is customary to buy a new outfit for the holiday (especially among women) and to eat festive meals with family and friends. Many men get their tallitot cleaned at this time. Some men also have the custom of wearing a kittel, a special white robe, on this holiday. Wearing white shows our hope and confidence that our sins will be ‘whitened’ back to innocence again. On the spiritual side, preparations should fit into 3 categories:

1. Teshuvah (repentance) – We think back over the errors, transgressions

and rebellions we committed this year and repent for them. Formal repentance can be summarized by the “Three R’s”: Recognition— articulating our sins (making a list can be helpful), Regret—feeling sorry that we have done them, and Resolve—affirming that we will not repeat them. For sins that had an impact upon other people, asking their forgiveness is required first.

2. Tefillah (prayer) – We spend most of Yom Kippur day in prayer, taking stock of our behavior over the past year and resolving to be our best selves in the New Year.

3. Tzedakah (charity) – Giving tzedaka is encouraged at this time of year as an act of redemption. This is why many synagogues have Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur appeals. These three actions are said to “nullify the harshness of the decree,” or to be the most effective ways of asking God for a good year to come.

B. Selichot (penitential prayers) and Shofar

Selichot are recited once each day (usually late at night or early in the morning) on the four days before Rosh Hashanah and every weekday until Yom Kippur. They involve the invocation of God’s 13 attributes of mercy.

During the month preceding Rosh Hashanah, the shofar is blown each morning to remind us that the holiday is approaching. Erev Rosh Hashanah, it is not blown, in order to separate between the shofar blasts on Rosh Hashanah and those of before.

Soul Cycle with Rachel Kraus: What Are the Ten Days of Repentance?

Monday, Sept 18 at 8 PM | Hosted by Rebecca Zwillinger

Address provided upon RSVP / email rachel@ckj.org

C. Hatarat Nedarim (Release of Vows)

It is customary to convene a Jewish court (bet din) on the day before Rosh Hashanah to release us from any unfulfilled vows we might have made this year. The court can be made up of any three Jewish men, who sit, while the petitioner stands before them and asks for a pardon for any eligible offenses. A husband, upon request, can ask for release for his wife’s vows. If it is not done before Rosh Hashanah, one can still do it during the 10 days of repentance.

D. Mikveh

It is customary for men to go to the mikveh (a ritual pool) on the day before Rosh Hashanah and the day before Yom Kippur. This is done so that one can enter Rosh Hashanah in a higher state of purity and is usually done in the early afternoon. There are several mikvaot in Manhattan that open especially for this purpose. One should bring his own towel and should shower before entering the mikveh. Some have the custom of completely immersing once, some 3 times and some 7 times.

For Manhattan mikveh information, see "Community Mikvehs" on page 31 or visit ckj. org/jewishues.

II. Rosh Hashanah Laws & Customs

A. Rosh Hashanah Greetings

Following the evening services on the first night of Rosh Hashanah, it is customary to greet each individual person with the following special formula:

For men: “l'shanah tova tikateiv v’teichateim”

For women: “l’shanah tova tikateivi v’teichateimi”

It means: For a good year, may you be written and inscribed.

Other greetings often heard during this holiday season are:

a) ketiva vachatima tova (sometimes said as: kesiva vachasima tova)

b) may you have a good “gebencht yor” (Yiddish)

c) shanah tova u’metuka – a good and sweet year

B. Rosh Hashanah Candle Lighting

The Rosh Hashanah candle lighting is the same as the regular festival candle lighting. Unlike

Shabbat, one should first recite the blessing, then light the candles. Single men who are financially independent and do not live at home should light candles as well. Women should recite the sheh-hechiyanu blessing at this time. [Men recite it during kiddush; women respond amen at that time.]

The Rosh Hashanah kiddush is similar to the festival kiddush. Men recite the Sheh’hechiyanu blessing at this time. It is also customary at this time to bless one’s children.

NOTE: One may carry on Yom Tov (if an item is needed for that day) without an eruv. This is different than Shabbat.

C. Simanei Milta (Symbolic Foods)

It is customary to eat special foods on the first night of Rosh Hashanah:

a) After kiddush and hand washing, many have the custom to use special round challah rolls and to dip them in (or squeeze onto them) some honey.

b) After the challah, many have the custom of dipping an apple in honey and saying the following blessing before eating: Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha-Olam, borei p’ri haetz (on the apple)

After eating the apple and honey, one says: Yehi ratzon milfanecha, Adonai Eloheinu vei’lohei avoteinu, she’te’chadeish aleinu shanahtova u’metuka.

May it be your will, O God, the God of our forefathers, that You renew upon us a good and sweet year.

c) Other foods eaten include carrots, leeks, beets, dates and pomegranates. A special statement accompanies each food. The Hebrew names of other foods symbolize that we should prevail over our enemies this year.

SECOND NIGHT: It is customary to eat a new fruit – one you have not eaten for a year – on the

second night of Rosh Hashanah. The actual point of the custom is to find a reason to say the “shehhechiyanu” blessing, so any new item that brings joy to your family (like that new outfit) will do. (baruch ata adonai, eloheinu melech ha-olam, she-hechiyanu, v’kiyimanu, v’higiyanu laz’man ha-zeh)

D. Rosh Hashanah Prayer Insertions

The Rosh Hashanah prayers are similar to Shabbat and holiday prayers but are longer and include some special insertions.

i. Four insertions in the amidah – Before the first two and last two blessings of the silent devotion, short requests to be remembered and written for a good life this coming year are inserted. These are recited quietly in the silent amidah and aloud by the congregation (followed by the chazzan) during the repetition.

ii. In addition to this, the blessing “ha’eil hakadosh” is changed to “ha-melech ha-kadosh” from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur. At the end of the kaddish, “oseh HA-shalom” is said instead of Oseh Shalom. iii. Avinu Malkeinu – “our father, one king” is famous for the melody of its closing line. Nine lines in the middle are recited responsively. This prayer is recited following the amidah in each service.

iv. Shir ha’ma’alot – Psalm 130 (“From the depths, I called out to You”) is inserted in the service preceding barchu on Rosh Hashanahand all the 10 days of repentance.

v. Torah Reading - The Torah reading for the first day is the story of Sarah giving birth to Yitzchak (Isaac) in Genesis 21; Hashem decided this on Rosh Hashanah. The second day reading is the binding of Isaac, which resulted in the sacrifice of a ram trapped by its horn.

vi. Rosh Hashanah Mussaf – in the mussaf prayer, three special sections are added that define the essence of the Rosh Hashanah day:

• Malchiyot - recognizing and affirming God as our king

• Zichronot – asking God to remember us this year for the good

• Shofarot – asking for God’s presence and revelation to be restored to us.

The shofar is blown at the conclusion of each section.

vii. Special poems - Certain special poetic prayers are inserted into the prayer service in honor of the day. These include:

• U’netaneh Tokef – the stirring call to repentance written by Rabbi Amnon of Mainz on his deathbed.

• V’chol Ma’aminim – a rousing song in which we say that the Jews are and have always been “ma’aminim,” believers.

• Hayom T’amtzeinu – the jubilant finale of the mussaf service, in which we ask God to accept our prayers.

viii. Blessing of the Kohanim – This is said in the Diaspora by Ashkenazic Jews only on the festival days.

ix. Psalm 27 (L’David, Hashem Ori) is recited in the morning and night or each day throughout the month of Elul and the holiday season, including Sukkot.

E. Shofar

This year, the first day of the holiday falls on Shabbat. Therefore, the shofar will only be blown on the second day of the holiday, Sunday, Sept 17.

Hearing the shofar is a Biblical commandment on the first day of Rosh Hashanah. The most important shofar blasts are blown immediately preceding mussaf. Thirty individual blasts are blown at this time. During the course of the service, 70 more blasts are blown (30 during the repetition and 40 at the end of the service) to make a grand total of 100 sounds. One should hear the 100 shofar blasts (without interruption) both days of Rosh Hashanah. One who is unable to hear all 100 should make sure to at least hear the first 30.

The shofar makes three kinds of sounds:

Tekiah __________ (1)

Shevarim ___ ___ ___ (3)

A. Shabbat Shuva

There are three kinds of shofar series:

The Shabbat in between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is known as “The Shabbat of Return.” It is customary in many communities for rabbis to give special d’rashot (sermons) on these days to exhort people to go into Yom Kippur in the right frame of mind.

B. Fast of Gedaliah, September 18 (begins 5:27 am, ends 7:31 pm)

This totals 12 blasts. When repeated three times, it equals 30.

F. Tashlich and Not Sleeping on the First Day

Following services, kiddush is recited and a festive meal is eaten. Some have the custom not to sleep on the afternoon of the first day, so as not to have a farshluffener (sleepy) year.

The Tashlich service is performed in the afternoon at a local body of water. A special private prayer is recited in which we ask God to cast our sins “into the depths of the sea.” Some have the custom of throwing bread into the water.

This year, Tashlich is only done on the second day. If one is unable to do Tashlich on Rosh Hashanah, it may be done during the Ten Days of Repentance. Our community gathers on September 17 at Turtle Pond in Central Park and at Carl Schurz Park near the East River at 86th Street.

III. After Rosh Hashanah; The Ten Days Of Repentance

Including Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, there are ten days in the High Holiday season.

It is customary to be particularly careful during these days and to be more scrupulous than usual in keeping kosher and Shabbat, praying, giving tzedaka and being kind to others. It is customary to ask forgiveness from others during these days.

The Fast of Gedaliah is the day after Rosh Hashanah (3rd of Tishrei). It commemorates the assassination of Gedaliah (the leader of the Jewish community after the First Temple was destroyed) which resulted in the remainder of the Jews being exiled from Jerusalem. The fast goes from dawn until sunset.

For more events, see KJYD High Holy Day programming on pages 13 and 15.

Yom Kippur Overview

This brief overview of Yom Kippur laws and customs is not meant to be comprehensive but will hopefully help you prepare for and enjoy this High Holy Day season. For detailed or personal questions beyond the scope of this article, please contact a KJ rabbi at ckj.org/our-team.

I. Preparing For Yom Kippur

A. Physical and Spiritual Preparation

On the physical side, it is customary for men to wear a kittel, a special white robe, and for women to wear white. Wearing white shows our hope and confidence that our sins will be ‘whitened’ back to innocence again. On the spiritual side, preparations over the course of the 10 days of repentance should fit into 3 categories:

1. Teshuvah (repentance) – We think back over the errors, transgressions and rebellions we committed this year and repent for them. Formal repentance can be summarized by the “Three R’s”: Recognition – articulating our sins (making a list can be helpful), Regret – feeling sorry that we have done them, and Resolve – affirming that we will not repeat them. For sins that had an impact upon other people, asking their forgiveness is required first.

2. Tefillah (prayer) – We spend most of the Yom Kippur day in prayer.

3. Tzedakah (charity) – Giving tzedakah is encouraged at this time of year as an act of redemption. Therefore many synagogues have Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur appeals.

These 3 actions are said to “nullify the harshness of the decree,” or to be the most effective ways of asking God for a good year to come.

B. Tashlich, Hatarat Nedarim (Release of Vows) and Selichot

If you did not do Tashlich (casting your sins into the water) or Hatarat Nedarim (annulment of vows,) earlier, you should do them before the onset of Yom Kippur. Selichot (penitential prayers) are said each day of the 10 days of Repentance and are a recurring part of the Yom Kippur service as well.

C. Kaparot

It is customary to give tzedakah the day before Yom Kippur. Some people do this by swinging an object of value over their head to ‘transfer’ their sins into and then donating it to tzedakah. For some, that object has been a chicken, but money in a handkerchief is preferable. Some people do not practice this custom.

There is an introduction to the swinging (“b’nei adam”), followed by the 3-time recitation of the following formula (for money): “Zeh chalifati, zeh temurati, zeh kaparati, zeh ha-kessef yeilech litzdaka va’ani ekaneis l’chaim tovim arukim u’leshalom.”

“This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement – this money shall go to tzedakah and I shall enter into a long and good life and to peace.”

D. Eating Your Heart Out

According to our tradition, one who eats on the day before Yom Kippur and fasts on Yom Kippur gets credited as if they fasted for both days. According to most authorities, one should eat frequently over the course of the day, making many blessings, and enjoying their eating before the fast. One should avoid spicy or dehydrating foods, though.

E. Asking for mechilah (forgiveness)

One has to ask forgiveness from their fellow human beings before Yom Kippur for any wrongs one committed against them. This is a prerequisite to asking God to forgive us. Thus, it is customary to approach those people and ask them to

mocheil (forgive) you for what you have done to them. One should specify the wrong and state how sorry they are. If rebuffed, the rule is that you must try at least 3 times to gain forgiveness, before witnesses. Of course, you may choose to forgive those who have wronged you without them asking you for forgiveness as well.

F. Mikveh

It is customary for men (and in some places for women) to go to the mikveh (ritual pool) on the day before Yom Kippur. There are several mikveot in Manhattan that open especially for this purpose. One should bring his own towel and should shower before entering the mikveh. Some have the custom of completely immersing once, some 3 times and some 7 times. For information on available mikvehs in Manhattan visit ckj.org/ jewishues.

G. Mincha

The afternoon service is said earlier than usual. Even though it is not yet Yom Kippur, there is a Yom Kippur confession service (with the confession - “al cheit” (“for the sin of…”) and beating the chest) included in Mincha. This is both to get one prepared for Yom Kippur and in the rare event that one’s life would come to an end before Yom Kippur, it gives one the opportunity of having done that confession first.

H. Se’udah ha-Mafseket (Final Meal)

In theory, one should have a festive holiday meal on Yom Kippur. Since this is impossible, this final meal before the fast takes its place. Many have the custom of dressing nicely, eating nice foods and making sure to eat bread (two challah rolls are not necessary, though) and recite grace after meals at this meal.

I. Lighting Candles and Blessing Children

Candle lighting this year is 6:32 pm. The blessing is: “Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-Olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav, v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel yom ha-Kippurim”

Women should also add: “Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha-Olam sheh-hechiyanu, v’kiyimanu, v’higiyanu laz’man ha-zeh.”(Men say this blessing in shul after Kol Nidre.)

One should light the candles first (while covering the eyes) and then say the blessing. The match should not be snuffed out, but put on a fire-safe surface to burn out on its own.

It is customary to give children a special blessing at this time as well.

For boys: “y’simcha Elohim k’efraim v’chi’Menashe” (May God make you like Ephraim and Menashe)

For girls: “y’simeich Elohim k’Sarah, Rivka, Rachel v’Leah” (May God make you like Sara, Rebecca, Rachel & Leah)

For both, continue: “Yevarech’cha Adonai v’yishmerecha. Ya-eir Adonai Panav eilecha vichuneka. Yisa Adonai Panav eilecha v’yaseim lecha shalom.” (Some feminize the blessing for girls.)

“May God bless you and protect you. May He shine His countenance upon you and find favor in you. May He lift His face to you and grant you peace.”

Some people add the following prayer as well: ‘’May it be Your will, (as we stand) before our Father in heaven, that You put in our heart the love and fear of You. That the fear of G-d will be in us all our life so that we do not sin. That we will devote ourselves to Torah (learning) and Mitzvot. That we pay attention to what we see. That our mouth will speak wisdom and our heart behave correctly. Our hands will be busy with mitzvot. Our feet will run to do the will of our Father in heaven. We will be given righteous sons and daughters, who will busy themselves with Torah and mitzvot all their lives. May our sources (of income) be blessed, and our income be provided with the permission, and easily and profitably from Your generous hand, and not (as a kindness) from people. That our income (will be sufficient) to free us to serve G-d. That we will be written and sealed for a good and long life with all the righteous of Israel. Amen.’’

J. Adding On

It is a (Biblical, to some) commandment to lengthen the beginning and end of Yom Kippur by a few minutes. This is called tosefet al ha-Kodesh, adding on to the holiness. For this reason, we conclude our preparations for Yom Kippur a little earlier than we really have to. One should start fasting at about candle-lighting, i.e. 6:15 pm.

K. Tefillah Zaka – prayer of purification

A particularly moving prayer was composed by the Chayei Adam (R. Avraham Danzig) and is recited by many in the time before Kol Nidrei. It is found at the beginning of most Yom Kippur prayer books.

L. Kol Nidrei

Kol Nidrei (“all vows”) is really a pre-Yom Kippur service, which is similar to the annulment of vows, but on a communal level. We invite all the Jews to come pray with us – both righteous and sinners – and attempt to do a mass nullification of any outstanding vows in the community. It is a short service, done before sunset.

II. Yom Kippur Night

A. Ma’ariv

The Ma’ariv service includes the usual aspects of a night service: bar’chu (call to prayer), 2 blessings before and 2 blessings after Sh’ma and an amidah (silent devotion). The amidah has seven blessings, the middle one of which is the sanctification of the Yom Kippur day. The four insertions said during the 10 days of repentance are included as well. The Yom Kippur confession service (beating the chest) is said twice: once during the silent amidah and once during the selichot service that follows the amida. The most beautiful poem in this service is the piyut “Like the clay in the hands of the potter” (“ki hinei ka-chomer”).

by the chazzan) during the repetition. Here are the first appearances: “Remember us,” “Who is like You,” “And inscribe,” and “In the book of life.”

After the service, many have the custom to stay to recite special songs and/or to learn. (Some the study the mishna of Yoma, the tractate on Yom Kippur.)

B. Shabbat and Yom Kippur

All the negative prohibitions of Shabbat – from cooking to carrying – apply on Yom Kippur as well – it is called a “Shabbat Shabbaton.”

All the restrictions of Yom Kippur apply both to the night and the day.

III. Yom Kippur Day

Yom Kippur day has its own power of atonement, just by living through it. However, combined with the power of teshuva, repentance, almost all sins are forgivable. There are five major prohibitions on Yom Kippur day:

• Eating and Drinking

• Wearing leather shoes

• Bathing or washing (ritual hand-washing is still done, up to the knuckles)

• Anointing (using oils or perfumes)

• Sex

Pregnant and nursing women and those with specific illnesses or medications should consult with both their doctors and a rabbi to establish a protocol for breaking one’s fast. Fasting is meant to spur you to do teshuva

Yom Kippur Prayer Insertions

Shacharit (morning service)

Before the first two and last two blessings of the silent devotion, short requests to be remembered and written for a good life this coming year are inserted. These are recited quietly in the silent Amidah and aloud by the congregation (followed

i. Shir ha’ma’alot – Psalm 130 (“From the depths, I called out to You”) is inserted in the service preceding Bar’chu on Rosh Hashanah and all the 10 days of repentance.

ii. The line “Baruch shem k’vod malchuto l’olam vaed” which is usually said in a whisper (immediately

after the first line of Shema Yisrael) is said in a loud voice (a shout) on Yom Kippur.

iii. Four insertions in the amidah – Before the first two and last two blessings of the silent devotion, short requests to be remembered and written for a good life this coming year are inserted. These are recited quietly in the silent amidah and aloud by the congregation (followed by the chazzan) during the repetition. In Ne’ilah, “write us” (katveinu) is changed to “seal us” (chotmeinu).

iv. In addition to this, the blessing “ha’eil ha-kadosh” (the holy God) is changed to “ha-melech ha-kadosh” (the holy King) on Yom Kippur. At the end of the kaddish, “oseh HA-shalom” is said instead of Oseh Shalom.

v. Confession (vidu’i, beginning with “ashamnu ”) is said in every silent amidah and every repetition except for Ne’ilah. A total of 10 confessions are made over the course of the Yom Kippur prayers.

Torah Reading

i. The Torah reading is the Yom Kippur service as described in Vayikra 16. The maftir (final Torah reading) is the sacrifice of the day, found in Bemidbar (Numbers) 29:7-11. The haftarah (prophetic portion) is Yeshaya (Isaiah) 57-58.

ii. YIZKOR is also said on Yom Kippur as a memorial to our departed relatives, martyrs and soldiers. Though it is often the custom for those whose parents are alive to leave during Yizkor, this is not required and it is preferable to stay in for Yizkor to serve as a comfort and support to those around us who are reciting it. There are special Yizkor prayers recited for Holocaust victims and those who fell defending Israel in her wars.

Mussaf

i. In addition to some of the same features as the Rosh Hashanah service, such as “unetaneh Tokef ” and “V’chol Ma’aminim,” there is one special feature to the mussaf service, which is the Avodah , the description of the Yom Kippur service.

The High Priest would do 3 separate confessions: one for himself (and his wife and family), one for all the kohanim (priests) and one for all of Israel. He would offer a special sacrifice to God and send out the scapegoat to the desert. He would also enter and (hopefully) exit from the Holy of Holies on this day. All of this is dramatically presented in the prayer book.

One of the high points of the service was when the kohein gadol (high priest) would utter the Ineffable name of God and all the people would prostrate themselves in respect and awe. Most congregations still do this. In the Aleynu prayer (originally a High Holiday prayer) and at the end of each priestly confession, we bow down to our knees and foreheads.

ii. Ten Martyrs – this poem is said commemorating the 10 great Rabbis put to death by the Romans. It is called “eileh Ezkara,” “These I remember.”

iii. Blessing of the Kohanim – This is said in the Diaspora by Ashkenazic Jews only on a few festival days all year, but Yom Kippur is one of them.

iv. Psalm 27 (L’David, Hashem Ori) is recited in the morning and night or each day throughout the month of Elul and the holiday season, including Sukkot. Many congregations say it at the beginning of prayers on Yom Kippur.

Mincha (Afternoon Service)

Mincha has its own Torah reading (picking up where we left off) regarding prohibitions against sexual immorality. There are three aliyot. The fourth also reads a special haftarah, the book of Jonah. This is often one of the most coveted honors of the year and is often sold for a lot of money to benefit a synagogue.

Ne’ilah (Concluding Service)

This last-chance service is unique to Yom Kippur in contemporary Judaism. It is called Ne’ilah because it means “the shutting” (or locking) as in the gates of Yom Kippur being shut as the day ends.

No confession is said in Ne’ilah and, instead of the idea of “writing,” we express the idea of “sealing.” The verdict for the year is sealed as Yom Kippur comes to a close. The entire service is said with the ark open while standing (it is also a big honor to open the ark). The majority of Ne’ilah is a selichot service.

Most congregations finish Ne’ilah right as the day ends. The service concludes with:

1x - Sh’ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad (Hear o Israel, Hashem our God, Hashem is One)

3x - Baruch Shem K’vohd Malchuto L’olam Va-ed (Blessed is the name of His Kingship forever) 3 times

7x - Adonai hu ha-Elohim (Hashem is the [true] God) 7 times.

This is followed by kaddish, BUT right in the middle, the shofar is sounded and “l’shanah haba-a birushalayim” (next year in Jerusalem) is sung. (Some people blow just one note and some blow tekiah-shevarim/teru'ah-tekiah.) Some congregations have the custom to dance at the end of the service.

Tekiah is a long straight blast, shevarim are three broken blasts, and teru’ah are nine or more staccato blasts.

Following Ne’ilah, a number of additional prayers should be recited:

a) Ma’ariv for the next day – start the new year reconnecting with God with daily prayer b) Havdalah c) Kiddush Levana – the sanctification of the moon.

In addition, there is a custom to begin symbolically (one piece, e.g.) building one’s sukkah, to go from forgiveness straight into a mitzvah. In any case, one should not rush to end one’s fast, both add on to the day a little and also so to show that we are created in the image of G-d.

One should not begin to prepare their break-fast meal until after Yom Kippur has ended.

MJL Course Schedule

Oct 19 Fundamentals of Judaism in 1 Hour

Oct 26 Jewish Lifecycle I

Birth & Baby Naming

Nov 2 Jewish Lifecycle II

Engagement & Wedding

Nov 9 Jewish Lifecycle III

Death & Mourning

Nov 16 Jewish Literacy

Nov 30 Chanukah

Jan 4 Jewish Ethics I

Jan 11 Kashrut I

Jan 18 Kashrut II

Jan 25 Jewish History I

Feb 1 Jewish History II

Feb 8 Jewish History III

Feb 15 Jewish History IV

Feb 22 American History

Mar 7 Tzedakah/Chesed

Mar 14 Purim

Mar 28 Shabbat 1

Apr 4 Shabbat 2

Apr 15 Model Seder

Apr 18 Passover Workshop

May 2 Yom Hashoah

May 9 Jewish Music & Song

May 16 Sephardic Customs

May 23 Ritual Items

May 30 Shavuot

June 6 Blessings I

June 20 Blessings II

June 27 Ask the Rabbi Anything

Judaism teaches us how to live, not just what to believe. Meaningful Jewish Living, a comprehensive, year-long course in the foundations of Judaism transcends academic knowledge to show how Judaism is alive and celebrated in the modern world. Taught by Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz, Rabbi Roy Feldman, Rabbi Meyer Laniado and Rabbi Daniel and Rachel Kraus, as well as guest presenters, it covers major themes in Jewish law, practice and thought. Explore how a 5,500 year old religion is more relevant today than ever before.

Bnei Mitzvah

Ellie Fishman

Mazal Tov to Dr. Sarah and Rocky Fishman upon the Bat Mitzvah of their daughter, Ellie, at KJ Sephardic on September 8, at which time she will read Shir haShirim. Ellie is a sixth-grade student at the Park East Day School. Mazal Tov as well to proud KJ grandparents, Liz and Rami Nahmias.

Rami Fishman

Mazal Tov to Dr. Sarah and Rocky Fishman upon the Bar Mitzvah of their son, Rami, at KJ Sephardic Minyan on Shabbat, September 9, at which time he will read Parashat Nitzavim/Vayelech and its Haftarah. Rami’s Bar Mitzvah was also celebrated on Shabbat, June 3, when Rami read Parashat Naso and its Haftarah. Rami is an eighth-grade student at the Park East Day School. Mazal Tov as well to proud KJ grandparents, Liz and Rami Nahmias.

Jack Strauss

Mazal Tov to Elizabeth Straus and Daniel Strauss, upon the Bar Mitzvah of their son, Jack Strauss, at Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun on Shabbat morning, September 9, at which time he will read Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech. Jack is a seventhgrade student at the Ramaz Middle School. Mazal Tov as well to proud KJ grandparents Joyce and Daniel Straus.

Within Our Family

BIRTHS

Mazal Tov to –

KJ Administrator Riva Alper and Joe Bierman z”l upon the birth of a grandson, Joseph Abraham (Yosef Bezalel Moshe), born to their children, Sarah Bierman (Ramaz ’09) and Daniel Wallis.

Alison and Sylvain Bergfeld upon becoming firsttime grandparents and to Debbie and Robert Weiss on the birth of their seventh grandchild, a granddaughter, Adiella Elisheva, born to their children Racheli and Jacob Bergfeld of Givat Shmuel, Israel. This Sabra was born a few minutes after Debbie and Robert completed their Aliyah and became Israeli citizens.

Sarah Bley and Leonard Bley upon the birth of a grandson, Michael Noah (Moshe Noah), born to Hannah Bley (Ramaz ‘14) and Maxwell Hoberman.

Jennifer and Saul Burian upon the birth of a granddaughter, Gemma, born to their children, Zoe and Michael Burian.

Paula Etra upon the birth of a granddaughter, Edith Blanche (Rachel Bracha), born to her children Daniella and Harry Etra.

Sabrina and Robert Fox upon the birth of a son, Tyler Benjamin (Tuvia Binyamin). Mazal Tov as well to KJ grandparents Martine and Leo Fox.

Rosie and Dr. Mark Friedman upon the birth of a granddaughter, Chaya, born to Malkie and Aryeh Friedman (Ramaz ‘09).

Natalie and Jason Ganfer upon the birth of a daughter, Sara Fruma.

Avital Szulc (Ramaz ’09) and Jonathan Garshofsky upon the birth of a daughter, Emmanuelle Clara (Emmanuelle Nechama). Mazal Tov as well to delighted KJ grandmother Teri Szulc.

Lizzy and Michael Greenspan upon the birth of a daughter, Gwendolyn Straus (Genendel Straus). Mazal Tov as well to delighted KJ grandparents Joyce & Daniel Straus.

Sue and Dr. Norman Javitt upon the birth of a great-grandson, Lior Shai.

Carli and Jeremy Levart upon the birth of a son, Asher Tzion.

Edith and Sal Lipiner upon the birth in Zurich, Switzerland of their 12th great grandchild. Mazal Tov as well to the new grandparents Karen (Ramaz ‘84) Robert Rom.

Edith and Sal Lipiner upon the birth of their 13th great grandchild. Mazal Tov as well to the proud parents, Aviva and Dr. Michael Epstein (Ramaz ‘07).

Aliza and Aaron Menche upon the birth of a grandson, Erez Avraham, born to their children, Aviva and Ariel (10’) Menche in Tel Aviv.

Vivi and Jacob Muller upon the birth of a daughter, Chloe Elle (Shlomit Ahava).

Roni and Dr. Robert Pick upon the birth of a granddaughter, Elizabeth Bernadette (Leevee Bracha), born to their children, Abigail Pick and Dani Katz.

Sandra & Dr. Sam Rapoport upon the birth of a granddaughter, Margot Jane Bell (Ya’ara Miriam), born to their children, Sarah Kate Rapoport & David Bell.

Pamela & George Rohr and Catherine & David Moussazadeh upon the birth of a granddaughter, Charlotte Sarah (Sarah), born to their children, Celine and Alex Rohr. Mazal Tov as well to the overjoyed KJ great grandmother, Helen Nash.

Drs. Lu Steinberg and Michael Schulder upon the birth of a granddaughter, Livia Raphaella, to Dr. Ilana Schulder (RUS ‘10) and Daniel Ross.

Ruth Shapiro upon the birth of a great grandson, Yisrael Noach (Noah Irwin), born to her grandchildren Deena & Jacob Shapiro. Mazal Tov as well to KJ grandparents Monica and Sandy Shapiro.

Arielle and Dovid Tradburks upon the birth of a son, Samuel Ralph (Shmuel Refael). Mazal Tov as well to KJ grandmother Debbie Kestenbaum and KJ grandfather Alan Kestenbaum.

Alice and Leon Wildes upon the birth of a greatgrandson, Jordan Abraham (Avraham Yemin), born to their grandchildren Lauren Wildes and Joseph Ammar. Mazal Tov as well to the delighted grandparents, Amy and Michael Wildes of Englewood.

BNEI MITZVAH

Cheryl Fishbein and Philip Schatten upon the Bat Mitzvah of their granddaughter, Noemie Adelia Rak, daughter of Jennifer (Ramaz ’98) (Fishbein) Rak and David Rak.

ENGAGEMENTS

Beth and Marc Bengualid upon the engagement of their daughter, Michele (Ramaz ’13) to Alec Fishman, daughter of Susie and Dr. Robert Fishman of Palo Alto, California.

Malka Finkelstein and Barry Best upon the engagement of Barry’s daughter, Rachel, to Albert Mishaan, son of Celeste and Michael Mishaan of Flatbush.

Dr. Jen and Michael Kaplan upon the engagement of their daughter, Melissa, to Daniel Rosenblatt, son of Drs. Kathleen Halton and Marc Rosenblatt of Greenwich, CT.

Aliza and Aaron Menche upon the occasion of the engagement of their daughter Adi (Ramaz ’16) to Itay Cohen, son of Ronit Lento-Cohen & David Cohen of Jerusalem. Mazal Tov, as well, to the overjoyed grandparents, Anne Menche, Sanford & Miriam Goldhaber and Mazal Cohen.

Susie and Jay Spievack upon the engagement of their son, Tani, to Hannah Laifer, daughter of Yael and Alan Laifer of New Rochelle. Mazal Tov as well to delighted KJ grandmother Gabriella Major.

MARRIAGES

Drs. Michelle Meersand and Allen Heller upon the marriage of their daughter, Dr. Alexis Heller, to Dr. Daniel Breitner, son of Orly and Joseph Breitner.

Aliza & Aaron Menche and Pamela & Adam Emmerich upon the marriage of their children, Talia (Ramaz ’14) and Benjamin (Ramaz ’15).

Florence and Robert Rothman upon the marriage of their son, Stanley, to Rebecca Liebowitz, daughter of Sara and Ted Liebowitz of Hewlett Bay Park.

Shoshana T. Bookson and Dr. Saul R. Stromer upon the marriage of their son, Michael Barry Stromer, to Shira Broner, daughter of Geula Broner of Jerusalem.

COMMUNAL NEWS & HONORS

Harry Baumgarten, Ramaz ‘05, was admitted to the Council on Foreign Relations upon the motion of an esteemed member of the Ramaz/ KJ Community who is an eminent scholar and practitioner in the field.

Sivan Aloni Olidort has been appointed New York Regional Director of the Israeli American Council (IAC), the national organization that represents the Israeli community in America.

Sandra E. Rapoport delivered a lecture on for Young Israel of Great Neck’s

Women’s Shiur, entitled “Devorah and Yael: Warrior Women in the Book of Judges.”

Sandra E. Rapoport upon her presentation “Resurrecting Yael: The Uncanonized Story of Judith, Warrior for Israel” at the Great Neck Synagogue. It is the sixteenth time that Sandra spoke at the synagogue’s Summer Torah Lecture Series!

Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz upon being named to New York City’s first-ever Jewish Advisory Council.

ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS

Sue and Dr. Norman Javitt upon the graduations of four grandchildren from their respective schools: Aaron Javitt and Gabriel Javitt, were each awarded Ph. D. degrees by the Chaim Weitzman Institute of Science, Aaron from the Department of Systems Immunology, and Gabe from the Department of Chemical and Structural Biology. Ezra Osofsky, received a B.A. with Honors in Economics from Princeton University, and his sister, Amalia (Mali), was graduated from Eighth Grade at the Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School in Rockville, MD.

CONDOLENCES

Sarah Goldman upon the passing of her sister, Molly Weinstein.

Nicole Gruenstein upon the passing of her father, Gerald P. Goldsmith.

Jay Spievack upon the passing of his father, Edwin Spievack.

Andrea Thau upon the passing of her mother, Maxine R. Thau.

ROBERTA STETSON

Roberta passed away during the month of Elul when all of us are expected to return to basics in Judaism, in our relationship with God and in our service to humankind. Roberta lived a life of Elul: she was always returning to basics, trying to do her best to be worthy of God’s love and to seek the best for God’s children.

The loving wife of our dear member, Curt Stetson, and beloved mother of Michelle Collins, Roberta came to us about twenty years ago, joined our Beginners Programs and started a period of astonishing growth in which she learned how to live a life of Torah and mitzvot in the broadest sense. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for other people. She was always looking for chesed opportunities. She served as a teacher for those who wanted to come to Judaism from the outside or return from the inside. She embraced the Beginners Program as a participant and as a leader. She was President of the Sisterhood and devoted herself selflessly and with great effectiveness as a leader in our congregation.

Roberta went everywhere, sitting on her motorized chair. But from that seat, she looked like she was ten feet tall. She had a presence. She showed up everywhere, for everything and for every person. Nothing fazed her. She was determined to serve our people and God in the best way possible, with a beaming countenance, reflecting her own inner happiness and always bringing joy to others.

Her life merits the praise of the closing words in the Book of Proverbs: “Many daughters have done well, but thou excellest them all.”

Chevra Kadisha

Join a dedicated group of men and women performing the sacred mitzvah of preparing the recently deceased for proper, dignified burial in accordance with Jewish Tradition and law. Contact Riva Alper for the women’s Chevra Kadisha at riva@ckj.org and contact Isaac Pollak for the men’s Chevra Kadisha at isaac@lgpltd.com.

Community Resources

Yoetzet Halakhah

Julia Baruch serves as the KJ Yoetzet Halakhah. This position of great responsibility falls to a woman with recognized expertise in the field of Taharat Hamishpacha and women's health issues who can advise women on topics such as niddah, fertility problems, and sex education for teens. Julia is reachable by phone at 929-274-0628 or email at JB.Yoetzet@gmail.com.

Community Mikvehs

The Jacques and Hanna Schwalbe Mikvah: 419 East 77th Street (1st & York Ave); 212-359-2020

The Rennert Mikvah at 5th Ave Synagogue: 5 East 62nd Street (Fifth Avenue) 212-753-6058

The West Side Mikvah" 234 West 74th Street (Broadway and West End Avenue) 212-579-2011

Bikur Cholim

For over 35 years, a dedicated group of KJ members have been visiting patients at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital. For more information, contact Volunteer Coordinator Karen Lerman at lerman.karenj@gmail.com.

Judaica Shop

Judaica Classics by Doina is at 1248 Lexington Avenue, between 84th and 85th Streets. The store has a great selection of Judaica for all gift and holiday needs, including exquisite silver, embroidery, ceramics and all manner of artistic expression.

Business hours: Sunday 10 am–5 pm, MondayThursday 10 am–6 pm, Friday 10 am–2 pm, and by appointment. Call Doina Bryskin at 212-7224271 or email doina@judaicaclassics.com.

Manhattan Eruv

The Manhattan Eruv includes an expanding number of neighborhoods in the city. Please call the hotline to check on the weekly status of the Eruv at 212874-6100 x 452. View the Manhattan Eruv Map.

JYC - The Hebrew School with HEART

The Jewish Youth Connection (JYC) is the Sunday morning Hebrew school founded by KJ members Susan and Scott Shay with the goal of providing a meaningful Jewish education to unaffiliated families. A total reinvention of the Hebrew School experience, its focus is to help foster a quality connection to Judaism for students and families alike.

No synagogue membership is required to attend JYC or participate in any of the school programming, and JYC families are invited to take advantage of congregational offerings. Visit jyc. info to learn more.

KJ Caring Initiative

At KJ you are not alone. Homebound? Isolated? Ailing? Our helpful volunteers are available to visit, call, and give emotional support. All interactions are strictly confidential. If you know someone who might benefit from our attention, or if you would like to be called, please contact Leah Modlin at 212722-6575 or leahm23@gmail.com.

Hatzolah

The Upper East Side Division volunteers volunteer EMTs and provides immediate response and the highest quality emergency medical and lifesaving services to our community, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 212-410-9796 for information. For emergencies, dial 212-230-1000.

Shabbat Hospitality

Let’s build a warm and welcoming KJ community! Are you new to the community? Do you still feel like you’re new to the community or not sufficiently connected? If you’re interested in meeting new people, hosting members, or being hosted, please contact yael@ckj.org.

Dorot

Located on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, Dorot has distinguished itself as a bastion of support for the frail elderly. We encourage our community to participate in their many volunteer initiatives–both holiday related and year-round–that forge bonds between the generations. See dorotusa.org for volunteer opportunities.

Mitzvah Toy Campaign

This heartfelt program encourages children from Nursery School through Grade 8 to donate one or more of their birthday presents to children in need. For information contact Joanna Kleinhaus at JoannaKleinhaus@gmail.com.

W Connection

A grassroots organization created to meet the needs of widows. To learn more about the KJ/ Ramaz chapter, contact 212-879-4783 or Gabriella Major at gabriellamaj@gmail.com.

Career Network

The KJ/Ramaz Career Network endeavors to help members find jobs, or fill a vacancy with a qualified shul member. Contact Larry Kassman at KasTrade@aol.com.

UJA @ KJ

UJA @ KJ is a partnership between KJ members and UJA-Federation of New York that facilitates KJ Members receiving unique opportunities to utilize the resources of UJA-Federation. With an assortment of causes and agencies in need of our support, UJA @ KJ enables KJ Members to become involved in and exposed to the important work of UJA-Federation in New York, Israel and around the world. For more information or to register, contact Atara Burian at 212-836-1267.

KJ Food Pantry

One of the few kosher food pantries in Manhattan, it provides weekly (every Monday) staples as well as fresh fruit and vegetables to those in need in our community. For more information or to volunteer, contact Bernice Kahn at bernice. berman@gmail.com.

Cemetery

Plots on Paramus, NJ KJ Grounds

To purchase burial plots at Beth El cemetery in NJ, visit ckj.org/burialplots. If you would like to speak with someone about this opportunity, please contact Sy Yanofsky in the synagogue office at 212-774-5620 or sy@ckj.org.

September 2023

DATES TO REMEMBER

Creative Direction by Esther Feierman & Graphic Design by Talia Laniado