Essential Grace Magazine November 2022

Essential Grace Magazine

Men need to take care of their lifestyle as they age to prevent the risk of many chronic diseases and provide an opportunity to bring awareness to health issues that affect men from excessive stress and overburden.

Men’s Health Week 2022 is observed from 13th to 19th of June.

ovember is here! We are on the final lap towards the end of 2022. For many of us, the year has been quite a challenge in many ways. But as every coin has two sides, I am positive there have been some pretty great highlights for this year in your lives.

Have you ever considered doing a year end review of your life? Sure, new year resolutions and planning are popular and easy to do, how about going through the year and trying to answer some reflective questions of yourself? Being able to celebrate your wins while learning from your mistakes can be a rewarding practice, and one that can encourage you to keep making and reaching your goals.

Remember, perfectionism is not the goal, in fact there are studies that show a correlation between perfectionism and higher suicide rates especially amongst males. Find out more in the article on page 19.

As in the previous November issue, we have provided some helpful information on both testicular and prostate health. Please make use of the brief information in this magazine to build your own basis for knowledge. Mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health are all very much our individual responsibility.

Want to get in touch? You may do so through our social media pages or directly to the editor through essentialgrace@zoho.com

Enjoy the read!

Julie Soko

Men’s Health Awareness month highlights two major health concerns amongst men; Testicular cancer

Prostate cancer

About Movember

Movember is the leading charity changing the face of men's health on a global scale, focusing on mental health and suicide prevention, prostate cancer and testicular cancer.

The charity raises funds to deliver innovative, breakthrough research and support programs that enable men to live happier, healthier and longer lives.

Committed to disrupting the status quo, millions have joined the movement, helping fund over 1,250 projects around the world. In addition to tackling key health issues faced by men.

Movember is working to encourage men to stay healthy in all areas of their life, with a focus on men staying socially connected and becoming more open to discussing their health and significant moments in their lives.

The charity's vision is to have an everlasting impact on the face of men's health.

Although we focus a lot on suicide prevention and the raising numbers of males who die by suicide; there are many other factors that males need to be aware of at different stages of their lives.

Besides highlighting emotional and mental health issues, raising awareness of physiological health in males is important as it ensures that men and boys are encouraged to know themselves better, live healthier, productive lives, and be in the fore front in making good choices that have a positive impact on their wellbeing

Good health includes physical, emotional, psychological, as well as spiritual well being.

As we raise awareness to end suicide in Malawi, let us not forget the holistic health of men and boys in our country.

Mental Health Professionals in Northern Malawi

St John of God Hospitaller Services

01311690 / 01311495

John Banda (Psychosocial Counsellor)

Moyale Barrakcs

0994 434 012 johnalickbanda05@gmail.com

Precious Chipeta (Psychosocial Counsellor) 0886 687 857 kanyakulapreciouschipeta@gmail.com

Buxton Shaba (Psychosocial Counsellor)

CEO Youth Mental Health Warrior. Mzuzu Katoto 0996 560 666

Brighton Lupeska (Psychosocial Counsellor) Mzuzu Health Centre 0996 750 057

Jbryto20@gmail.com

Justina Msofi (Psychosocial Counsellor)

Luwinga Secondary School

0888 505 043 jasstinamsofi@yahoo.com

Jimmy Kambalame

Lighthouse Trust, Central Hospital. Mzuzu 0999 944 899

Prostate Cancer Awareness

Prostate cancer is the second most common cancer in men globally. Globally, more than 1.4 million men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year.

Who’s at risk?

Your risk of developing prostate cancer increases with age, but that doesn’t mean it’s a disease that only affects old men. Prostate cancer is the second most common cancer in men worldwide. Men who are of African or Caribbean descent, and men who have a family history (a brother or father with prostate cancer), are 2.5x more likely to get prostate cancer.

What’s the PSA test?

It’s a simple routine blood test. It’s used to determine the measurement of Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) concentration in the blood, it is the primary method of testing for prostate cancer. You should be talking to your doctor about whether testing is right for you.

The facts about prostate cancer

Only men have a prostate gland. The prostate gland is usually the size and shape of a walnut and grows bigger as you get older. It sits underneath the bladder and surrounds the urethra, which is the tube men urinate and ejaculate through. Its main job is to help make semen the fluid that carries sperm.

Prostate cancer occurs when some of the cells in the prostate reproduce far more rapidly than normal, resulting in a tumour. Prostate cancer often grows slowly to start with and may never cause any problems. But some men have prostate cancer that is

more likely to spread. These prostate cancer cells, if left untreated, may spread from the prostate and invade distant parts of the body, particularly the lymph nodes and bones, producing secondary tumours in a process known as metastasis. Detecting prostate cancer

Not everyone experiences symptoms of prostate cancer. Many times, signs of prostate cancer are first detected by a doctor during a routine check up.

Some men, however, will experience changes in urinary or sexual function that might indicate the presence of prostate cancer.

Early Detection is Key. The difference between early detection and late detection can be life and death.

Signs and symptoms

A need to urinate frequently, especially at night, difficulty starting urination or holding back urine, weak or interrupted flow of urine, painful or burning urination, difficulty in having an erection, painful ejaculation, blood in urine or semen, frequent pain or stiffness in the lower back, hips, or upper thighs

Because a side effect of treatment may include erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer can have a serious impact on intimate relationships. As many people who have been through the journey will tell you, prostate cancer isn’t just a man’s disease, it’s a couple’s disease. Make sure you involve your partner as you think through the various treatment options

HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, AND WHEN.

When you're 50

You need to have a conversation with your doctor about PSA testing. If you're of African or Caribbean descent, do it at 45 If you have a family history, do it at 45

Testicular Cancer Awareness

Who’s at risk?

Globally, testicular cancer is the most common cancer among young men. Men with undescended testes at birth, or who have a family history, like a father or brother who has had testicular cancer, are at an increased risk. And if you’ve had testicular cancer before, there’s also a heightened risk it could return.

The facts about testicular cancer

Testicles are responsible for the production of male hormones (mostly testosterone) and sperm. Testicular cancer starts as an abnormal growth or tumour that develops in one or both testicles. There are several types of testicular cancer, but the most common is the germ cell tumour.

Treatment options

Advanced testicular cancer can also be cured with treatment including:  Orchiectomy (surgical removal of the affected testis), done under general anesthetic

Chemotherapy or radiotherapy, often prescribed after surgery to treat any remaining cancer cells that may have spread to other parts of the body, such as lymph nodes

In most cases (better than 95%) a diagnosis of testicular cancer means established treatments and a good outcome. Unfortunately, there are a small proportion of men and boys who do not face that good outcome, and more needs to be done to support these men through diagnosis and treatment and into a long and healthy life after cancer.

Testicular cancer is a highly treatable cancer and can be effectively treated, and often cured, if diagnosed and treated early.

Side effects

Testicular cancer and the removal of one testicle should not alter your ability to have sex or have children. The effect on fertility following removal of one of the testicles is minimal as a single testicle produces such large numbers of sperm. Men with testicular cancer should talk to their oncologist about sperm banking before commencing chemotherapy or radiation therapy.

The visual guide on the next page illustrates how you can give yourself a check up every month.

Guide to Checking your Nuts

Get steamy. A warm shower will put your nuts in the mood. Roll one nut between thumb and fingers to get to know what’s normal. Repeat with the other nut.

If you notice a change in size or shape, a lump that wasn’t there before, or if they become painful to touch, see a doctor. Don’t panic, but do get it checked out.

REACH OUT WITH A. L. E. C…

One helpful Movember initiative on suicide prevention are four simple steps to check up ona friend or family member who might be going through a tough time.

Ask. Start by asking how he’s feeling.It’s worth mentioning any changes you’ve picked up on:has he stopped replying to texts? Does he sound differenton the phone? Has he gone quiet in the group chat?

Listen. Give him your full attention. Let him know you’re hearing what he’s saying and you’re not judging.You don’t have to diagnose problems or offersolutions, but asking questions lets him know you’re listening.

Encourage Action. Help him focuson simple things that might improve how he feels. Is he getting enough sleep? Is he exercising and eating well? Maybe there’s something that’s helped him in the past – it’s worth asking. Suggest that he share how he’s feeling with others he trusts. This will make things easier for both of you. And if he’s felt low for more thantwo weeks, suggest that he chat to his doctor.

Check In. Follow up yourconversationwith a phone call or FaceTime. This helps to show that you care; plus, you’ll get a feel for whetherhe’s feeling any better.

Find this resource along with other conversations that may help with mental health and suicide prevention here.

Mental Health Professionals in the Central Region of Malawi

St John of God Hospital

Area43,offUfuluRoad 0992460253/0992460254

Tamanda Msasata

TeeTherapyConsultancyService 0999 419 898 / 0888 553 756

Info.teetherapy@gmail.com

Irene Hora (Chief Consultant)

IntegratedProfessionalcounsellingandAdvisoryLtd 0992598595

Chilungamo M’manga (Psychologist) 0995912585

Elizabeth Nkhonjera 0996 293 804

Guidance and Counselling Association of Malawi (GCAM) 0995142328/0888448108

Suicide Prevention Group (Mponela) 0888114626/0999299770/0884467846

Likuni Hospital 0996383202/0992556138

Phunzi Counselling (Area18)0999365871

Prime Health 0995482905

Joseph Mjid Lungu (Psychotherapist)0888378035

He Matters Foundation 0997071657

Harm Reduction Awareness Counselling and Testing Services 0999317529

Friends of Hope 0994781044

Youth Wave 02122280999204068

Moses Kachingwe 0881569863/0997542704

social

male

By Steve M. Carr

In the UK men remain three times as likely to take their own lives than women, and in the Republic of Ireland, four times more likely. The highest suicide rates in the UK are for men aged between 45 49, and a reported 84 men a week in the U.K end their life by suicide.

It’s also estimated that 5.5% of the population has had thoughts of suicide (this is only a registered figure).

There are many factors to take into account that may lead a person to think about ending their life by suicide.

Suicide is extremely complex, it occurs gradually, progressing from thoughts of suicide to planning, to preparing and then carrying out suicidal behaviour which may result in loss of life.

One of many factors I believe could be present is social perfectionism.

Social perfectionism is what we expect others think of us. We are all feeling increasing pressure to be ‘perfect’ by placing exceedingly high expectations upon ourselves. There are greater

expectations and reasons for men to feel like failures, men feel they have to be a fighter, a father, a role model, a provider, a protector, a breadwinner and maintain mastery and composure at all times, if they falter they feel they’ve failed, we’re told ‘real men’ don’t show vulnerability, we compare ourselves to the masculine ‘Gold Standard’ we’ve set ourselves if we don’t meet this standard we feel a sense of shame, defeat and failure.

We put high expectations on ourselves, these expectations can lead to failure, leading to a rejection of self, leading to a reason for ending life. Our expectations to ‘have it all’ including the perfect partner, house, job, car, and the ideal body are slowly killing us, we are killing ourselves for the sake of social perfectionism. There are too many social pressures, more so now we have social media, it’s no wonder that a reported 1/4 of 7 10 years old said they felt they needed to be ‘perfect’, it’s a learnt behaviour, and if we continually put these social pressures on ourselves there may come a day when we can no

Is

perfectionism one of the reasons

suicide rates are so high?

longer keep up with this ‘acting’ or ‘charade’.

We are simply afraid of failure, and we judge our own worth by comparing ourselves to others, we portray having a perfect life on Social media, but Social Media is a huge contributor to the misconception that peers aren’t actually struggling. When the truth is anything but, most of us are struggling, but for sake of ‘looking good’ we mask our failures, sweep them under the carpet and hope nobody notices.

Only the cracks will eventually start to appear.

Kids are growing up now seeing what happens to people that make mistakes in life and posted on social media, and they are judged far too quickly. It’s worrying times for the next generation, growing into the world of social perfectionism.

The model for suicidal thinking by Psychologist Professor Roy Bowmeister ‘An escape from the self’, and the suicide continuum.

Suicide in males. The process of suicide occurs when a man’s personal standard drop severely short of their expectations of the

previously mentioned ‘Gold standard’, the feeling of total defeat, the feeling of not being able to rectify a situation that’s beyond our control, the sense of entrapment, it’s then the self blames the self and starts a downwards spiral of negative thoughts and actions, until the point we can’t see another option but to take the quickest way out, to end the emotional suffering and pain, suicide.

Men need to feel as they are in control of everything, their lives, their mission, being the great person they imagine to be, their self esteem and pride are dependent on their accomplishments. If a person can’t see that they are regaining control, or feel that they can change, the feelings of despair start to overtake all rational thinking, leading them to give up on life. Speaking from personal experience when I tried to end my life, I was constantly thinking and overthinking everything, it’s called ‘brooding rumination’ continual thoughts about thoughts.

I couldn’t see a way out, I had lost all logical thought, and was in a downward spiral or utter despair, I had lost hope, friends, family, my home and had no reason to stay alive. It takes all your energy, focus and thought to end your life, more often than not it’s not the end that’s wanted, it’s an end to the

emotional pain and suffering you are experiencing.

After years of study and continual research and education, ‘inner work’ and therapy I’m delighted to say I’m in a place to be able to offer education to those wishing to potentially save a person’s life.

I now know WE CAN approach a person if we believe they may be contemplating suicide, firstly we must ensure they are in a location that is safe and also appropriate to have this type of conversation.

Be aware of possible signs: what to look and listen out for. After making contact we must act promptly if we think someone is considering suicide, even if we think we have mild suspicion. Show you care about taking time to listen and learn about what is causing the pain.

Remember this, there is no harm in asking a person of they're thinking about suicide, and whilst they may deny that they are having thoughts of suicde, they may come back to you when the times right for them because they know you are confident speaking about this still very much taboo subject.

If you would like to learn the skills to have a confident conversation with somebody you think may be considering ending their life by suicide, get in touch with a mental health professional as soon as possible.

steve@mindcanyon.co.uk

The Problem with Perfectionism

By Dr Katherine Helm

Many people describe themselves as perfectionists. Some perfectionists wear this label like a badge of honor. Students tell me all the time, “I am a perfectionist.” In my conversations with students, I point out that having high standards for yourself is a good thing, but the very definition of being perfect, indeed means that you have failed since nothing can actually be 100 percent all of the time.

Emotional Consequences of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be defined as having excessively high standards and being overly self critical. There is a stark difference between being self reflective and understanding how to admit to and learn from your own mistakes versus judging yourself so harshly that mistakes are intolerable. The emotional consequence of this kind of self judgement is often shame which is damaging and can erode our ability to have a positive sense of self.

Mental Health Consequences of Perfectionism

Research has demonstrated that high rates of perfectionism, especially self oriented perfectionism can lead to significant mental health consequences such as depression, general anxiety, socially specific anxiety, lower life satisfaction, and feelings of low self worth. Additionally, highly perfectionistic individuals struggle with the ability to emotionally self soothe after they do not reach self imposed perfect standards.

How to Recover from being a Perfectionist

When someone is a perfectionist, they are constantly feeling pressure to perform or prove what they can do to themselves and others. Recovery starts with recognizing how harmful constant perfectionism can be and to recognize that one can still hold high standards for one’s self and achieve them without being perfect. Other ways to combat perfectionism include letting go of the need to compare yourself to others. When we compare ourselves to others, we make judgments that we can rarely actually confirm, especially through socially media (e.g. she looks like she has the “perfect” life). We often compare how we feel inside to how we think others look on the outside (e.g. he is so happy because he is always smiling). This is a faulty comparison and frequently a damaging one. Other strategies such as mindfulness (trying to stay in the moment), having gratitude for what we have and those that love us, examining our own harsh self judgements and negative internal dialogue, can all be helpful antidotes to harmful perfectionism. Finally, having self compassion is important as is truly learning how to see mistakes and challenges as valuable opportunities for growth.

Read more of this article here

Mental Health Professionals in the Southern Region of Malawi

Zomba Psychiatric Hospital 015 262 66

Limbika Maliwichi (Clinical Psychologist)

0993 662 154

Julie Soko (Consultant Psychologist)

0995 147 290

Prism Counselling and Consultancy (Zomba)

0998 933 273

Dr Chiwoza Bandawe. Harmony Counselling Centre

0888 200 222

Dr Precious Makiyi (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Professional)

0999 426 368

Accord Cognitive Counselling Services

0882 431 111

Vintage Health Wellness Centre (Namiwawa)

0995 260 153 / 0883 859 724

Blantyre Counselling and Therapies Centre

0996 299 888

Tilinao Lamba (Counselling Psychologist)

0885 795 906

Ruth Mkolesia (Counselling Psychology)

Seed of Hope

0993 110 993

Dr Alli Makalani

0888 611 127

How to finish the year well…?

Reflect on the positive

It’s easy to think about all the things that didn’t go as we hoped or planned. Resist the temptation to focus on perceived failures. Instead, look for all the good that happened.

To finish out the year well, think about all the ways you have positively impacted people. Look at the unexpected things that went right. Consider the goals you achieved that you didn’t even set in the first place.

Focus on the areas of your life that have gone well. Celebrate them. Be proud of your achievements no matter how big or how small.

Make a habit of having a positive mindset. In any situation, you choose how you look at it. While you may not be able to control your circumstances, you do have control over your outlook and your actions.

Begin to think about new goals

As you reflect back on the past year, it is a great time to consider your goals. Perhaps there were goals you would still like to accomplish but weren’t able to yet.

The importance of a positive mindset comes into play here. It wasn’t a goal you

failed at. It’s just something you haven’t accomplished YET.

As the year progressed, maybe your goals changed or you thought about new goals you wanted to set. Now is the time to think about those and begin writing down what you want to focus on.

Dream big!

Don’t sell yourself short or tell yourself why something isn’t possible. Dream big and allow yourself to be inspired. Don’t set limitations on what you can achieve. Read biographies or stories about people who defied the odds.

Let yourself dream. Imagine your ideals. Consider the possibilities.

In the dreaming stage, no idea should be knocked down. The sky is the limit. You can get more realistic later on, but in the early phases let yourself imagine life differently.

All too often we knock down any ideas with potential telling ourselves it’s impossible. We think of all the things that can go wrong or the reasons something might not work out. If we really believe something is impossible, then it is.

Give yourself permission to consider possibilities you hadn’t before. Listen to

people who inspire you and help you to dream bigger.

Keep going

It’s easy to get toward the end of a year and figure you ’re ready to give up on the goals that didn’t happen yet. Fight the urge to let it go. Instead, look for ways to continue working towards that goal even if in very small steps.

Don’t quit. Keep working on it.

That is not to say that all goals are created equal and every one of them will be something you want to continue working on. There are situations where it’s fine to let goals go.

Life changes and so do our goals and that’s ok. But if it’s still something you want to work towards, don’t let it go just because it’s December.

Start now

So it turns out there isn’t anything magical about January 1st. If you’ve already determined your goals for the coming year, why not start working on them now? You’ll be in an even better position come January if you’ve already planned out your goals and started working on them. www.thesimplicityhabit.com

Year-end review Taking stock before planning forward

What was time very well spent?

What was money very well spent?

What are your favourite memories?

What did you accomplish or complete?

Did you make progress on big goals?

What felt successful about the year?

Did you overcome any obstacles?

What did you learn about yourself?

Who nurtured or supported you?

Who did you enjoy supporting?

Make sure celebrate your wins and, learn from your failures.

By now, we hope you are aware that you can access mental health care from all the Central (Referral) Hospitals in the country.

Here is something to take note of, before you can get to the Central (Referral) Hospitals, you need to first visit your local District Hospital in order to be assisted. This applies to mental health care as well.

Once you have been assessed, the medical staff (a psychiatric nurse or clinician) will then determine whether you need to be referred to the Central Hospital, which also provides comprehensive care for mental health challenges.

Please take note of the list of District Hospitals available in Malawi.

Chitipa District Hospital

Karonga District Hospital

Mzimba District Hospital

Nkhata Bay District Hospital

Rumphi District Hospital

Dedza District Hospital

Dowa District Hospital

Kasungu District Hospital

Mchinji District Hospital

Nkhokota District Hospital

Ntcheu District Hospital

Ntchisi District Hospital

Salima District Hospital

Balaka District Hospital

Chikwawa District Hospital

Chiradzulu District Hospital

Machinga District Hospital

Mangochi District Hospital

Mulanje District Hospital

Mwanza District Hospital

Nsanje District Hospital

Get in touch with us for your free offer of mental health related advertising be it for counselling services, support groups, books, upcoming events, and wellness services (e.g. Fitness, massage therapy)

Phalombe District Hospital

Thyolo District Hospital Zomba District Hospital

Would you like to advertise your mental health services with Essential Grace Magazine?