Essential Grace Magazine February 2023

February is international Boost Your Self-Esteem month.

What is selfesteem? How do you know when you have healthy or unhealthy esteem? Let’s find out more in this issue!

Photo Credit Godisable Jacob

The month that celebrates love and relationships around the world. Valentines is a subjective event; some may see it as a great opportunity to share their heart with their significant other, while others find it a stumbling block as they are expected to make grand gestures that they are just not ready to do. Whatever the case, the month of February has become synonymous with Valentine’s Day.

In the world of mental health and wellness, February is the month that promotes boosting self-esteem around the world. It is surprising to see how few people really know what self-esteem means, let alone whether they have it or not. This issue has explored some definitions and theories relating to self-esteem, as well as was to evaluate your own. Should you need help in boosting your elf-esteem, please make use of the contact information of mental health professionals advertised.

We always encourage our readers to submit their articles, personal stories, and even to advertise their services or products relating to mental health and wellness. We have articles from three men who are passionate about mental health and helping those who struggle with it. Be encouraged to send in your own stories to help others through your experiences.

Want to get in touch? You may do so through our social media pages or directly to the editor through essentialgrace@zoho.com

Happy Reading!

Julie Soko ManagingEditor

Self-esteem is what we think of ourselves. When it’s positive, we have confidence and selfrespect. We’re content with ourselves and our abilities, in who we are and our competence. Self-esteem is relatively stable and enduring, though it can fluctuate. Healthy self-esteem makes us resilient and hopeful about life.

Self-esteem affects not only what we think, but also how we feel and behave. It and has significant ramifications for our happiness and enjoyment of life. It considerably affects events in our life, including our relationships, our work and goals, and how we care for ourselves and our children.

February is International Boost Self-Esteem Month, an annual event dedicated to improving self-esteem among people across the globe. And it’s especially important the coming year as our world continues to recover from Covid, the isolating effects of the disease, and lockdowns.

Self-esteem is how you view yourself in terms of worth and capability. When it’s high, you’re confident and positive. When it’s low, you’re self-critical and down in the dumps. And it goes beyond the mere psychological realm; your behaviour, relationships, and even your health can be related to your self-esteem.

It’s also not just about you. People with higher self-esteem are more capable and confident in helping those around them, and the positivity that comes from that is often contagious.

Discover the definition of self-esteem, the scientific perspective of it, as well as some tips on how to improve self-esteem through the link here.

Having low self-esteem can be detrimental to one’s wellbeing. You may experience sadness, anxiety, depression, and other mood disturbances because of low selfesteem.

The common assumption is that a person is either born with high self-esteem or low self-esteem. This is not true. Self-esteem is something that can be learnt and worked on throughout one’s life.

Understanding your self-esteem requires digging deeper into your inner world; learn about your selfconcept (what you know about yourself), the beliefs and opinions that drive you, as well as the ideas that influence these beliefs. You can work with a professional mental health worker who is experienced in working with self-esteem in order to discover more.

If you seek professional help for mental health issues, be sure to ask your therapist if they can help you in this area. It is a positive decision that will only help to improve the quality of your life.

Photo credit Criativithy

Photo credit Lisa Fotios

Implications of Mental Health and Finance in Romantic Relationships

Mental health and finance can have significant implications in romantic relationships. Poor mental health, such as depression or anxiety, can lead to financial problems, such as difficulty managing money or making poor financial decisions. On the other hand, financial stress or insecurity can also contribute to mental health issues.

The following article was submitted by

Mr Brighton Lupeska.

A mental health professional working at Lighthouse Trust, Kawale Health Centre. Lilongwe

When one partner is struggling with mental health or financial problems, it can put a strain on the relationship and lead to conflicts and tension. It can also lead to power imbalances, where one partner may have more control over financial decisions and resources.

It's important for couples to have open and honest communication with each other about their mental health and financial situations. They should also have a plan in place to manage financial issues and seek help if necessary.

Additionally, couples should consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to work through any mental health or financial challenges that may be impacting their relationship. This can help them to develop effective strategies for managing these issues and improving their overall well-being as a couple.

Developing positive mental health and finance management in relationships requires a combination of effective communication, planning, and self-care strategies.

It is the month known for love and celebrating romantic relationships. However, with the current economic climate, we cannot avoid thinking about financial management especially as it applies to relationships.

Here are a few steps that couples can take:

Open and honest communication: Couples should have regular conversations about their mental health and financial situations. This can help to build trust and understanding between partners, and can also help to identify and address any issues that may be impacting their relationship.

Financial planning: Couples should develop a budget and plan for managing their finances. This can include setting financial goals, creating a savings plan, and discussing how to allocate resources.

Self-care: It is important for both partners to take care of their mental and emotional well-being. This can include engaging in activities that bring them joy, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional help if/when needed.

Seek professional help: When couples are experiencing significant stress or difficulty managing their mental health or finances, they should consider seeking professional counseling or therapy. This can help them to develop effective strategies for managing these issues and improving their overall well-being as a couple.

Be supportive and understanding: Be empathetic and try to understand your partner's perspective, and offer support when they are going through a tough time.

Be flexible: Be open to changes and be willing to adapt to new situations, whether they be positive or negative.

By taking these steps, couples can work together to improve their mental health and financial wellbeing, and create stronger and more resilient relationships.

Mr Brighton Lupeska

Mental Health Professionals in Northern Malawi

St John of God Hospitaller Services

01311690 / 01311495

John Banda (Psychosocial Counsellor)

Moyale Barrakcs

0994 434 012

johnalickbanda05@gmail.com

Precious Chipeta (Psychosocial Counsellor)

0886 687 857

kanyakulapreciouschipeta@gmail.com

Buxton Shaba (Psychosocial Counsellor)

CEO Youth Mental Health Warrior. Mzuzu Katoto

0996 560 666

William Mackson Phiri 0881 072 623

Justina Msofi (Psychosocial Counsellor)

Luwinga Secondary School

0888 505 043

jasstinamsofi@yahoo.com

Jimmy Kambalame

Lighthouse Trust, Central Hospital. Mzuzu

0999 944 899

Working on your self-esteem is not difficult. You need to first acknowledge that you have a poor sense of self-esteem, thereafter you can begin to take the rights steps in addressing it. Change will not be immediate, it will take time and effort like most skills in life.

Steps you can take to work on your self-esteem include:

Accept your flaws – no one is perfect out there

Avoid comparison with others – it will only make you feel worse

Practice Self-care – a very underrated but vital part of life

Be realistic with your goals – perfectionism is not your friend

Move your body – be it through exercise, dance, walking, etc

Working on Self-esteem is something that anyone can do through research and effort. However, there are people who are trained in how to guide or support you as you go through such a process.

Should you want to develop a healthy and positive self-esteem, reach out to a life coach or mental health worker for more information

You not loving yourself and playing small does not serve the world. Self-love requires you to let go of who you once imagined yourself to be, and embrace who you are becoming.

The love you have for yourself should bring joy, happiness, and life!

Photo Credit Justin Brian

Before You Commit to Counselling or Psycho-Therapy …

Ask about their qualifications and experience

To ensure the counsellor you’re seeing is able to support you and your specific needs, don’t be afraid to ask what qualifications and experience they have. This is especially helpful if you’re looking for support with something really specific or if you want to ensure they have had previous experience with clients like you.

Talk to them before starting therapy to ensure you feel comfortable

Trust is essential to the therapy process, so it can be helpful to take some time to learn more about the counsellor’s approach, values and beliefs before starting sessions. Often counsellors will offer initial consultations where you can speak with them before making a commitment to start therapy.

What can I do if I have a bad experience with a therapist?

Having a bad experience with a therapist can make it difficult to trust a professional again. While it is difficult, often it can help if you’re able to try therapy with a new therapist. Using the steps above can help you ensure the person you’re seeing has the right qualifications and has experience in supporting clients like you.

Tell them about your previous experience so they can be aware and guide you through the process at your own pace. Finding the right therapist can be transformative.

The following article was submitted by Mr William Mackson

Phiri.

A professional working in Education at Chibavi Secondary School, Mzuzu. He is a passionate mental health worker and motivational speaker, and organizational development manager.

Contact him 24/7 through the number below:

My name is William Mackson Phiri. I come from Chombwe village, Traditional Authority

Mabulabo in Mzimba district. I am an Educator a Counsellor and Organizational Development Manager. I am currently the Deputy Head Teacher responsible for Administration at Chibavi Secondary school in the City of Mzuzu. I hold a Master’s Degree in Business Management from Pentecostal Life University.

My inspiration in life comes through service for humanity, and a passion for making this world a better place than I found it. I believe in the star fish story: I may not touch all the lives all the time, but the difference I make to one goes a longer way than I can imagine.

I believe that there is no health without mental health. My work relating to mental health involves guidance and counseling or mental health services to all Malawians in need. I also provide face to face sessions to those within Mzuzu and thanks to technology, I manage to reach out to those beyond Mzuzu by click of a button on the phone.

0881 072 623

So far, over 4500 clients have been assisted through my services during the four-year period it has been running. I receive overwhelming feedback and I celebrate in the progress and quality of life my clients enjoy afterwards.

On Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how one feels about themselves as a person. When we have a healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. You can boost self-esteem by recognizing situations that affect you negatively, by becoming aware of negative thoughts and beliefs, challenging negative thinking, altering

negative thoughts and beliefs, spotting troubling conditions or situations, detaching from one’s negative thoughts, accepting one’s more positive thought processes. Working on a high self-esteem will mean a higher quality of life for you.

I have learnt that life never gets easier, we only get tougher in order to navigate it. We need to be innovative every day in order to remain relevant. No matter what, learn to face your fears and rise to the occasion. A case in point is my postgraduate journey, where I had to show tenacity, grit, dedication, through tears and commitment. There were times I almost gave up, but my mental health and psychological resilience helped me to sail through.

My advice to readers is three-pronged: Takecareofyourmental healthasitdeterminesthe qualityofyourphysicaland over-allhealth.

Committingsuicideisnevera solutiontoaddressinglife challenges.Confidein someoneyoutrust.Seek professionalhelpandthrive. Aproblemsharedishalf solved.

Alwaysaimatdeveloping highself-esteem.Itgreatly improvesqualityoflife holistically.Highself-esteem iskeytohighproductivity.

Mr William Mackson Phiri

Mental Health Professionals in Central Malawi

St John of God Hospital

Area 43, off Ufulu Road

0992460253/0992460254

Tamanda Msasata

TeeTherapyConsultancyService

0999419898/0888553756

Info.teetherapy@gmail.com

Irene Hora (Chief Consultant)

Integrated Professional Counselling and Advisory Ltd

0992598595

Brighton Lupeska Kawale Health Centre 0996750057Jbryto20@gmail.com

Elizabeth Nkhonjera 0996293804

Guidance and Counselling Association of Malawi (GCAM)

0995142328/0888448108

Suicide Prevention Group (Mponela) 0888114626/0999299770/0884467846

Likuni Hospital 0996383202/0992556138

Phunzi Counselling (Area18)0999365871

Prime Health 0995482905

Joseph Mjid Lungu (Psychotherapist) 0888 378 035

He Matters Foundation 0997071657

Harm Reduction Awareness Counselling and Testing Services

0999 317 529

Friends of Hope 0994781044

Youth Wave 02122280999204068

Moses Kachingwe 0881569863/0997542704

Pastor Umodzi Mizere is a regular contributor to this publication. He often writes to share his personal experience of dealing with mental health problems since the age of 14. While he no longer struggles with bipolar depression, he still battles with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

This article is not focused on the Pastor Mizere’s struggles with GAD but rather on the topic of mental health and having a sound mind.

Pastor Mizere shares his journey of seeking help from psychologists and counselors, as well as the impact of faith in his healing process. According to his perspective, having a sound mind means being in good mental condition, based on good judgment, competence, and reliability. He stresses that mental wellness is as important as physical wellness and that God desires for everyone to have a healthy and stable mind.

“forGodhathnotgivenusthespiritoffear;butofpower,andoflove,andofasound mind.” 2 Timothy 2:7.

Pastor Mizere shares the experience of going for therapy and counseling after he began to struggle with depression, anxiety, and fits of anger at the age of 14. Despite going for therapy, he continued to battle with depression, which became severe after a series of operations in 2004 and 2005. During this time, Pastor Mizere was referred to another psychologist but could no longer afford to go for therapy. He continued to

Ifinallylearnedthatmentalwellnessand havingasoundmindwasbasedon constantly,andconsistentlyfocusingonGod andchoosingtoremainhappyandjoyful regardlessofthecircumstances.Thisa consciousdecisiononemustmaketohave mentalwellness.Iamstillnotcompletely well,Idohavehealthproblems,andIdoget discouragedsometimesbutnotdepressed. Why?BecauseIlearnedbythegraceofGod thathavingasoundmindandmental wellnessisbasedonGod.Italsodependson stubbornlyholdingtotheattitudethatsays, Ichoosetobehappyandhavepeaceof mind,regardlessofmycircumstance.

fight for a sound mind and to be whole again in his soul. Eventually, he began to attend counseling services at the Blantyre Baptist Church, which helped him to feel better and lifted the heavy burden of depression.

In 2007, Pastor Mizere stopped going for counseling and felt whole, had peace of mind, and got active in the youth ministry at Blantyre Baptist Church. The following year however, he developed another medical complication that required more surgery, which triggered his depression all over again.

After recovery, he felt led by God to go back to Bible College to study in preparation for full-time ministry, which helped him to experience a sound mind again in 2009. Unfortunately, he had to pull out of college due to severe gout, which affected his whole right foot and triggered severe depression. It was around this time that he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 2. He felt dejected and discouraged that he kept slipping into depression and suicidal thoughts.

Pastor Mizere emphasizes that having a sound mind does not mean having the absence of trouble, problems, or hardship. Instead, he encourages anyone struggling with mental health problems to seek help from professionals and to have faith in God that they can overcome their challenges. He believes that God can help everyone to have a healthy and stable mind, based on good judgment, and competence. We can all choose – as he has done - to be happy and have peace of mind regardless of the circumstance.

“Youwillkeepinperfectpeacehimwhosemindissteadfast,becausehetrustsin You” Isaiah 26:3

If you would like to get in touch with Pastor Mizere for prayer, encouragement, or to get advice on issues relating to Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, you may contact him through Facebook @Umodzi Mizere Or visit his congregation of Bvumbwe Baptist Church.

We are made in the image of God, our worth and value comes from Him and His approval. Therefore, our esteem also comes from Him.

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

Mental Health Professionals in the Southern Region of Malawi

Zomba Psychiatric Hospital 015 262 66

Limbika Maliwichi (Clinical Psychologist)

0993 662 154

Julie Soko (Consultant Psychologist)

0995 147 290

Prism Counselling and Consultancy (Zomba)

0998 933 273

Dr Chiwoza Bandawe. Harmony Counselling Centre

0888 200 222

Dr Precious Makiyi (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Professional)

0999 426 368

Accord Cognitive Counselling Services

0882 431 111

Vintage Health Wellness Centre (Namiwawa)

0995 260 153 / 0883 859 724

Blantyre Counselling and Therapies Centre

0996 299 888

Tilinao Lamba (Counselling Psychologist)

0885 795 906

Ruth Mkolesia (Counselling Psychology)

Seed of Hope

0993 110 993

Dr Alli Makalani

0888 611 127

By now, we hope you are aware that you can access mental health care from all the Central (Referral) Hospitals in the country.

Here is something to take note of, before you can get to the Central (Referral) Hospitals, you need to first visit your local District Hospital in order to be assisted. This applies to mental health care as well.

Once you have been assessed, the medical staff (a psychiatric nurse or clinician) will then determine whether you need to be referred to the Central Hospital, which also provides comprehensive care for mental health challenges.

Please take note of the list of District Hospitals available in Malawi.

Chitipa District Hospital

Karonga District Hospital

Mzimba District Hospital

Nkhata Bay District Hospital

Rumphi District Hospital

Dedza District Hospital

Dowa District Hospital

Kasungu District Hospital

Mchinji District Hospital

Nkhokota District Hospital

Ntcheu District Hospital

Ntchisi District Hospital

Salima District Hospital

Balaka District Hospital

Chikwawa District Hospital

Chiradzulu District Hospital

Machinga District Hospital

Mangochi District Hospital

Mulanje District Hospital

Would you like to advertise your mental health services with Essential Grace Magazine?

Get in touch with us for your free offer of mental health related advertising be it for counselling services, support groups, books, upcoming events, and wellness services (e.g. Fitness, massage therapy)

Mwanza District Hospital

Nsanje District Hospital

Phalombe District Hospital

Thyolo District Hospital

Zomba District Hospital