Embodied Magazine - Winter 2022

Volume 1 • Number 1 • Winter 2022

The Rome Boys Classroom Conversions The Culture of Distraction

Catching up with

EMILY STIMPSON CHAPMAN

When God moves quickly

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WINTER 2022

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THE VIEW FROM HERE

THE WHOLE STORY

COLUMN

COLUMN

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THE CALL TO LOVE COLUMN

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FROM FRAZZLED TO FOCUSED

TOB PARENT CORNER COLUMN

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BY KAURA M. DEVICK

Our culture of distraction has reached an all-time high. How can Catholics turn off the noise? What does the theology of the body tell us about guarding our minds? This feature is packed with perspective and practical tips.

‘I SEE GOD IN YOU’

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BY ANN GUNDLACH

Ruah Woods has taken its mission to teach the theology of the body to the youngest Catholics. Its innovative grade-school curriculum is changing lives, sparking conversation and conversion when even first graders report back to their parents on St. John Paul II’s loving vision for all. Bonus: Learn about other valuable TOB resources for parents!

THE ROME BOYS TAKE YOUTUBE BY STORM

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BY CHRISTINA RIES

What do you get when a farmer, a theologian and an entrepreneur start a podcast? Rome Boys! These three devout Catholic men are taking YouTube by storm, proving that you can be equal parts hilarious and pious.

BEAUTIFULLY ADAPTED

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BY CHRISTINA RIES

“For better or worse.” Natalie and Thom Peters were fresh from their wedding when he was in a nearly fatal accident that left him a quadriplegic. The newlyweds held on tight to discover a new normal together, leaning on their Catholic faith. Natalie, a philosophy major, dusted off her theology of the body materials to glean some guiding wisdom.

ORIGINAL BEAUTY

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CATCHING UP WITH EMILY STIMPSON CHAPMAN

SNOW DAY PHOTO ESSAY

BY CHRISTINA RIES

Emily Stimpson Chapman has transformed from a theology of the body advocate to an Instagram influencer! Catch up with the beloved Pittsburgh writer on how her life has changed since the release of her book “These Beautiful Bones” just eight years ago. (Spoiler alert: It includes a husband and three kids!)

THEOLOGY OF THE BODY: WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN

When Karol Wojtyla, the cardinal archbishop of Krakow, Poland, came to Rome in August 1978 to help elect a new pope, he brought along the lengthy handwritten manuscript of a book that he had been prayerfully crafting for nearly four years. It was almost complete, and he wished to work on it, when he could, during the conclave. Page one bore the unusual title (in Polish): “teologia ciala”—“theology of the body.” The hundreds of pages that followed held perhaps the most profound and compelling Biblical reflection on the meaning of our creation and redemption as male and female ever articulated—in-depth mystical insights of a modern saint that had the power to change the world...if those insights had an opportunity to reach the world, that is.

After the election of Pope John Paul I, Wojtyla returned to Krakow and completed his manuscript. Soon after that, to the astonishment of the whole world, he emerged from the second conclave of 1978 as Pope John Paul II. And his “theology of the body”—delivered as a series of Wednesday talks between September 1979 and November 1984 rather than being published as a book—became the first major teaching project of his pontificate, establishing the core of John Paul II’s great vision of what it means to be human.

Still, it took some time for people to grasp the significance of what John Paul II had given us. It wasn’t until 1999, for example, that papal biographer George Weigel described the TOB to a wide readership as “one of the boldest reconfigurations of Catholic theology in centuries” and “a kind of theological time bomb set to go off, with dramatic consequences....perhaps in the 21st century.” While the pope’s vision of the body and of sexual love had “barely begun to shape the Church’s theology, preaching, and religious education,” Weigel predicted that when it did it would “compel a dramatic development of thinking about virtually every major theme in the Creed.”

From “Theology of the Body for Beginners” by Christopher West 4

Winter 2022 PUBLISHED BY Embodied Publishing info@embodiedmag.org EDITOR Ann Gundlach • ann@embodiedmag.org ASSISTANT EDITOR Christina Ries • christina@embodiedmag.org THEOLOGICAL ADVISOR Katrina Zeno, MTS DESIGN and PRODUCTION b graphic design • www.b-graphicdesign.com Embodied Magazine will be published four times per year. The print edition is available for $49/year and includes a digital edition. The digital subscription alone is $25/year. Single copies are available for $12.00 each plus shipping. Subscribe or order at simplecirc.com/subscribe/embodied-magazine.

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WINTER 2022

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Seeing through a new lens

by Ann Gundlach

Welcome to the first issue of Embodied Magazine! I’m grateful to have you along for this journey.

As I write this, the daily Gospel is Luke’s account of Jesus healing Bartimaeus, the blind man begging along the side of the road. When Jesus asks Bartimaeus what he wants, Bartimaeus replies, “Lord, please let me see!” I can relate to Bartimaeus in a way, although for most of my life I didn’t realize my vision was clouded.

I was a lifelong Catholic and worked for decades for a Catholic organization surrounded by devout people who helped deepen my faith.

But our work was becoming increasingly hard: to try and convince couples to reject contraception and follow Church teaching on marital sexuality.

Then in the early 2000s we discovered that using the theology of the body to explain the God-given meaning behind marital love was a game-changer. In that context, marital sexuality became all about complete self-gift, mirroring the self-gift of Christ on the cross, and when presented through the witness story—the love story—of the married couple leading the class, we found students responding and asking, “Why hasn’t anyone ever explained it like this before?”

I was intrigued and began learning what I could on my own about TOB and its author, St. John Paul II. It wasn’t long before I started seeing a lot of things with new eyes. I discovered that the TOB offers a foundation on which to evaluate almost anything faith-related. Many TOB fans talk about seeing things “through a TOB lens.”

These lenses have given me a clarity of sight that I hadn’t realized I was even lacking. They have brought such a richness of insight that it is as if my faith went from being in black-and-white to color.

A few things TOB has helped me better understand include the incredible importance of God creating us as male and female; why marriage is so important to get right; the amazing purpose of our bodies that I somehow missed (to reflect the invisible God in our world!); the awesomeness of the Blessed Mother (it’s all tied to her “receptiveness”); the deep meaning in the Mass and Real Presence in the Blessed Sacrament; and a whole host of social justice issues like care for the poor, immigration, the death penalty, the proper stewardship of creation and more.

But even more impactful than this greater understanding has been TOB’s impact on my heart. If I ever had any doubts that God truly loved me, they are gone. Obliterated. And that has changed how I live my faith more than anything else in my life ever has.

It is my hope that Embodied Magazine will likewise help you see many aspects of your faith through new eyes, or rather, the new lens of theology of the body. And that it does so in a warm and inviting way.

A print magazine delivered to your mailbox has become a rarity in our digital age. That’s too bad because there’s something about a magazine that feels like an invitation. To slow down and unplug. To get lost in its pages. We hope Embodied becomes a treasure you savor.

That you take to your favorite cozy spot or easy chair and linger over. That you can leave around the house for your children to find or pass along to a friend who needs to read a certain article.

The best magazines speak to the soul, which is our goal with Embodied. You are always invited to let me know how we’re doing at ann@embodiedmag.org.

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Fenced in

by Katrina Zeno

A number of years ago, I was staying in a hotel outside of Washington, DC, and I happened to look out the window to see the head and shoulders of a man walking behind a fence. Well, walking isn’t quite right. He was careening— first one way and then the other. I stole a quick glance at the clock. It read 9:46 a.m. “Hmmm,” I thought, “a bit early in the morning to be drunk.”

Then the man reached an opening in the fence, and my perspective changed. He was walking two huge dogs on leashes. One would pull him one way, and then the other pulled him the other way. Until he arrived at the opening in the fence, I could only see half the story.

Much of my life, I lived by only half the story, that is, until St. John Paul II and his theology of the body crept into my life. I say crept because the first time I tried to read his profound writings on the meaning of the human body, it felt like high school calculus. His vocabulary didn’t compute with my brain no matter how many times I tackled the same paragraph. So I put it aside.

At the time, in my early 30s, I’d never thought about the meaning of my body. Oh sure, my body had been very useful for doing gymnastics, achieving good grades, dancing disco (yes, I’m showing my age), enjoying a good steak or good company. But meaning? Who ever thought about the meaning of the body?

The short answer is Pope St. John Paul II, even before he was pope.

As a young man, the tyrannical regimes of Nazism and communism didn’t just seep into St. John Paul II’s life, they crashed his country. On Sept. 1, 1939, Germany invaded Poland, triggering World War II. Karol Wojtyla (his birth name) was in his second year at the University of Krakow, studying the origin and development of languages. He was smart, athletic and devoutly Catholic.

His first love was acting, which is not surprising since he loved language and its ability to communicate meaning.

Shortly after the invasion, Karol and his father tried to escape Poland by foot but turned back upon hearing of the Soviet Union’s invasion of Poland from the East. A few weeks later, over 180 academics at Karol’s university were rounded up and deported, furthering the Nazi plan

to eliminate Polish intellectuals and assume control of the educational system.

Karol pivoted. He continued his studies in a modified manner, participated in an illegal drama group, endured demanding, physical labor in a quarry and eventually entered the underground seminary after his father died.

Why the seminary? Because Karol was deeply convicted to live by The Whole Story.

In my early 30s, I’d never thought about the meaning of my body. Who thought about the meaning of the body?

All around him, the aggressively atheistic Nazi and Russian regimes were scrubbing out any remnants of faith and religious freedom with the sole purpose of harnessing the individual for the sake of the State. They wanted a new generation who lived by only half the story— the cultural narrative where God is a childish fable, progress in technology demonstrates a nation’s superiority and human life has no inherent dignity or meaning.

Within this context of being culturally “fenced in” by only a partial view of reality, Karol’s conviction about the meaning and purpose of human life and its embodiment took even deeper root. This conviction saturates his writings, including his theology of the body. It also saturates the vision of Embodied Magazine.

Along with St. John Paul II, we believe our time, too, needs to rediscover the meaning and purpose of human life and our bodies by drawing on the whole panorama of human experience: God and science, the visible and the invisible, the physical body and the immaterial spirit. We look forward to exploring this journey together so that we can grow to mature stature in the fullness of Christ (Eph 3:13) by living The Whole Story.

Katrina J. Zeno, MTS, has been speaking on the theology of the body for over two decades. She received her master of theological studies from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute in Washington, D. C., in 2014 and is currently pursuing a second master’s in theology from the Franciscan University in Steubenville.

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T H E

C A L L

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L O V E

A radical move and radical blessings

by Fr. Walter Schu, LC, SThD

In 2002 Jen Settle, a young woman in her early 30s, was Back home Jen bought every TOB-related book and by most accounts an exemplary Catholic. She had earned tape that was available. She immersed herself in it and her undergraduate and master’s degrees in theology began sharing it with her friends. But, most importantly, from Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa, and was workshe began taking it to prayer. And those secret wounds ing in parish ministry for the in her heart began to heal even Diocese of Des Moines. All that more deeply. Gradually, Jen felt seemed still unfulfilled for she was coming into herself this Midwestern professional, as a person. Her life began to the youngest of nine, was her embody John Paul II’s law of long-held desire to fall in love the gift: The more we give ourand marry, as her brothers and selves to others, the more we sisters had done. discover who we really are.

Then, one afternoon, a friend Then the Lord asked her to asked her if she had ever heard step out in faith. It was 2008 of the theology of the body. Deand West invited her to come spite her many years of Catholic work at the TOB Institute in formation, she hadn’t. In fact, the Philadelphia. After prayer and Jen Settle with Archbishop Charles Chaput on her consecration day. very notion of a “theology” of discernment, wrestling with the “body” seemed contradictory leaving everyone she knew to her. Wasn’t theology all about God, who is infinite and back home and going to a place where she knew one only spiritual—the exact opposite of a body? person—Christopher himself—she said “yes.”

That same evening Jen learned that TOB talks would Happy to have given her life to the task of spreading be given in Omaha, Neb., over the next weekend. It was TOB, little did she realize her journey would go even now Wednesday. Jen impulsively decided to make the further. In Jen’s words, “Jesus was wooing me to himself.” two-hour trek to Omaha with a friend that weekend. UnThe Lord began to softly whisper to her that there was anaware of it at the time, this simple decision would change other pathway of self-gift that didn’t necessarily involve the course of her life. marriage and family. He began to place upon her heart As she sat listening to TOB lecturer Christopher West, — now completely open to his will—that he wanted her light bulbs began to flash inside her. All she had learned exclusively as his own. He was asking her to consecrate and been living as a Catholic began to come together her very self and life to him! for her like pieces of a large puzzle. She could see TOB emerging to her as an overarching framework that made What is a consecrated virgin? sense of everything, suddenly lived and experienced in A consecrated virgin is a woman who has never a new way. Jen was mesmerized. She was falling in love married and who dedicates her perpetual virginity to with her faith anew.

Christ and the Church. The consecration is permanent Sitting in a folding chair in that Omaha parish, Jen and is performed by her diocesan bishop. Unlike taking realized that she was called in some way to give her life to vows to a religious order, a consecrated virgin lives TOB but she had no idea what that meant. She only knew on her own but is dedicated to service to the Church that the message was at once uniquely for her—just hearthrough the direction of her bishop. ing it had begun to heal wounds of past relationships— and at the same time it was for everyone.

The Call to Love continues on page 23 7

From frazzled to focused Taking a stand against the culture of distraction

by Laura M. Devick

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Martha’s music app

awakens her with the gentle sound of a string quartet. Before her coffee, she’s checked texts, headlines and feeds. Grabbing her cup en route to the couch, she trips over a pile of clothes from last week’s unfinished decluttering project. Sitting and sipping, her Rosary seems less prayerful and more an exercise in reining in her wandering mind.

The work day brings with it a feeling of being surrounded—physically and virtually—by so many people, yet feeling alone.

Thinking ahead to after work? She feels obliged to catch up on the book club’s current read but knows she might lack the energy for anything more than streaming TV. Her mom’s text interrupts, alerting Martha that today Dad goes for a clinic follow-up. Martha recalls his recent hospitalization—stress instantly resurfacing in her mind and body.

Getting up, she puts her coffee cup in the dishwasher. She hasn’t stretched in over a week, and the twinge in her back reminds her. She feels like she’s trying to be too many things, do too many things—all at once.

There is an undercurrent of sorrow, and she wishes life felt more fulfilling....

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what your primary vocation is, what you’re supposed to be doing and doing it,” said Dr. Flood. “It sounds all grand, but it’s really very practical too.”

Once we focus on the practical duties of our state in life, next we develop the habit of assigning priorities to our tasks—and completing them one by one. In our modern multi-tasking world, this is not something that comes naturally.

“There’s always 800 things I could be doing,” said Dr. Flood. “While probably 400 of them are also important, some of them might be left undone at the end of the day—and that’s OK.” The trade-off is worth it. “All of the virtues have a pleasure associated with them. Anything you’re doing with that good habit or virtue brings with it a delight. If you choose to be the person you were called to be, then joy will come.”

The vocation of marriage, including the duties from raising a large family and working over-time, led the Kisers to a breaking point 10 years ago. She felt she’d suffer “a heart attack or nervous breakdown, or something worse” if she didn’t start prioritizing faith and a slower pace of life.

Distraction is as universal as it is inescapable. Dr. Anthony T. Flood, a 20-year philosophy professor, knows it’s tempting to blame the world for distracting us. He cites the example of the Des-ert Fathers, men and women who left the cities to focus on prayer and the spiritual life as early as 200 AD. They wanted to avoid distractions too. Yet even in the desert, their writings reveal, distractions continued!

“They should have had fewer distractions than anybody,” said Dr. Flood, an author and father of three.

“There’s nothing to look at, there’s no kids to deal with, there’s nothing in the desert, and yet—they’re challenged by distractions even there.”

It’s as true then as it is now, Dr. Flood said, proving that “the externals are never the primary issue. When we’re distracted, nine times out of 10, it’s coming from within.”

Tami Kiser, a 55-yearold mom of 10 in Sunset, S.C., agrees. “Distraction is a battle within ourselves that all ages and cultures have struggled with.”

Kiser knows she’s not alone. As a Catholic teacher, speaker and writer, she’s found kinship in St. Martha.

“She is the workaholic too distracted with her chores to pay attention to Jesus, even though He is right there in her presence.”

What is distraction, really?

In the Catholic tradition, the problem of distraction can be called by another name, revealing the underlying vice: sloth.

But sloth is misunderstood when it’s equated with laziness, Dr. Flood said. “That is not how the monastics or St. Thomas Aquinas understood it. Sloth is, fundamentally, a refusal to be the person God wants you to be.”

That sorrow “Martha” felt at the end of the day signals she hasn’t moved closer to the ultimate goal: living her vocation.

“While sorrow isn’t desirable, neither is it permanent,” said Dr. Flood. “Aquinas thinks the deepest joy is found in charity or union with God.” Productivity gurus and secular organizational strategies abound—and they can be helpful (see page 11).

Yet Catholics can get to the deeper roots of distraction through the lens of faith. It begins with “acknowledging

Catholics can get to the deeper roots of distraction through the lens of faith.

It begins with acknowledging what your primary vocation is, what you’re supposed to be doing and doing it.

The family bought a cabin on a few remote acres, lacking all technological conveniences. No cell service, Internet or TV meant Kiser’s self-described workaholism had to cease. Martha-ness gave way to Mary, and Kiser was able to rest at the feet of Jesus. She found time to give to her family relationships.

“I have such a hard time just being with my kids,” Kiser said. “I have such a hard time sitting quietly, listening to God. Yet I know how important this is.”

The time spent in silence grew into a vision they longed to share with others.

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GIVE YOUR FOCUS FULLY — Apply modern productivity tools to your Catholic life. The

Fully, freely and fruitfully Apply some practical tools to give the gift of yourself to relationships, work and daily priorities.

Pomodoro technique is a simple one: focus on one task for 25 minutes, take a short break and then begin another focused segment. Suitable for a number of tasks and vocations—and yes, there’s an app for that.

God created our brains to pay attention to what is right in front of us, and modern psychology research agrees. By focusing on one task at a time, while arranging our tasks with the higher-thinking needs first, we can make the best use of modern productivity research in a thoroughly Catholic way. And it goes without saying that we can silence and put away phones or other distractions during times of focus.

FREELY — Learn about your vocation and how to live it. Books, talks

or videos, or a spiritual director’s guidance can enable you to deepen your “yes” to your vocation.

During prayer, minimize distraction by doing a brain-dump. Write down the thoughts that distract you on a sheet of paper. This will either generate an epic to-do list or will clarify that your distractions aren’t of consequence. Either way, God accepts the offering of your prayer (even when you feel unfocused).

AND WATCH FOCUS BEAR FRUIT — Less Facebook, more faces.

Fewer Instagram pics of your mocha-chai-latte, more long walks with a to-go cup in your hand, a friend by your side. Consider enjoying physical activities with others. It both develops relationships and helps you enjoy your ability to move and appreciate God’s natural creation.

Don’t forget: within your vocational duties, set your own pace. Place firm boundaries on technology’s hold. Try to use it more often as a tool to enable personal connection. Give yourself permission to use technology as entertainment, but set a time limit to prevent overuse— or even addiction.

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After three years, they began to search for a large property that could host families, couples and individuals. Their “pearl of great price” was purchased and Heart Ridge Camp and Ministry was born.

As the only Catholic retreat center in South Carolina, Heart Ridge serves Catholics—and non-Catholics and even non-believers. Summer family camps give whole families the chance to share undivided attention, take in the beautiful surroundings and be together in a traditional camp setting with bonfires and stargazing. They

A large library of books, many of them faith-related, are available to borrow, and guests can take in conversations in the common spaces. “The Sacred Heart image is present in every building here. We hope His subtle presence is felt, not only in our artwork, but also in our presence.”

Jesus’ real presence in the Eucharist is available for quiet prayer in the tabernacle located in a chapel on the grounds. It’s a source of strength for the Kisers and their guests.

‘KEEP AT IT’ Indeed, sacramental graces help us to prioritize and focus on one task at a time, Dr. Flood said. They provide the tangible support of God when we fall or fail.

“Reconciliation and the Eucharist are particularly relevant here in developing the discipline and the virtues to follow through,” Dr. Flood said.

Understanding theology of the body rounds out this conversation as we consider that we are created as a gift—and called to be a gift for others. It’s hard to be a gift, to truly live our vocation, when we’re distracted.

“We don’t need more time on a computer screen, or with our phones,” Kiser said.

“We need more time with real human beings, in person.”

And we need each other. Even the Desert Fathers received the support of a community, just as we do in our parishes, families and neighborhoods. We can remind each other of an important truth, Dr. Flood said: “You just don’t give up. You fall and you get up. The Desert Father’s advice was to keep at it.”

At the heart of distraction is the refusal to be who God wants us to be. When we focus on our vocation and completing the tasks God gives us—one at a time—the presence of the virtue of hope counteracts the vice of sloth, or distraction.

The culture tempts us to go five directions at once, and that pressure has been there from the beginning. But Christ shows us another way—one that is as radical as it is simple.

At the heart of distraction is the refusal to be who God wants us to be. When we focus on our vocation and completing the tasks God gives us, the presence of the virtue of hope counteracts the vice of sloth, or distraction. can also deepen faith through daily Mass and faith study.

When camp is not in session, Heart Ridge offers a hostel and limited number of Airbnb rentals. These diverse ways of reaching prospective guests have brought many who might not otherwise visit.

“We warmly greet them and offer them lodging and a cup of coffee. They are welcome to walk the grounds, sit on our swings by the lake, pray in our Mary garden,” said Kiser.

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T O B

P A R E N T

C O R N E R

The time is now

by Lindsay Caron

There is a large tree we pass on the way to school each day. In autumn, its leaves burst with colors of rich tangerine and vivid coral. A few weeks later the leaves turn crimson red just days before they drop to their deaths. The cycle of life, showing all of its glory and splendor in the days and hours just before its final transition, provides a simple teaching moment about death. And so, with a car full of little boys we I will sometimes touch on the beautiful gift of natural death on the way to school, in between morning prayers and “what’s for snack today?”

Everyday events or observations, like changing and falling leaves, can provide opportunities to draw our children into the fundamentals of the theology of the body in a simple but impactful way.

Our culture does not like to talk about death. It is a physically and emotionally uncomfortable topic for many people to explore. Why? Some people don’t believe in an afterlife. Among those who do, many don’t want to upset their child’s innocence. Surely there is a need for sensitivity, but as we well know, death is one of the certain things in life, and avoiding it does our children no favors.

Theology of the body reminds us that one day our body will be resurrected and perfectly reunited with our soul in heaven, and we will once again be with all those we love whose eternal destinies are also heaven.

How beautiful! When we tell our children this fact, we are guiding them toward a happy ending. The key is to keep it simple because even simple stories can illustrate important truths.

I shared with my boys that when my Aunt Jerri died of cancer, in her final days and hours her heart was wide open to receive prayers for a happy death, face-toface with her family. I held Jerri’s unsteady hands and assured her through mutual tears that I was so happy

for her to soon be in Jesus’ loving arms and that I loved her. It was intensely emotional for our family but such an experience full of shared hope!

If our family had shied away from Jerri in her final hours, we would have missed her stunning last moments. It was an experience that transformed us all with total grace.

I have also told my boys about Don, a high school friend who died of leukemia at age 16. Our last visit turned out to be the day before he died. Although he had been bedridden, he rose from his bed, threw a football to his friends in the hospital hallway and entertained us in the lounge with Heisman poses. The next day, he was gone. My boys immediately wanted to know how it was even possible to do this at life’s end. “Well,” I said, “he had his final burst of life, just like those bright red leaves.” It was God’s pure grace—grace for Don, and grace for all of us.

Memento Mori. This is a Latin phrase that means “remember your death.” When we help our children understand the grace and joy that can be a part of the cycle of life and death, we help them understand the theology of the body. In my own life, I’ve seen how storytelling is one of the most effective ways to do this. I encourage you to share the stories of your loved ones who have died with your children and focus on any beautiful last moments of their wonderful presence in this world. And if your family is anticipating the death of someone close to you, lead your children in making a gift of themselves by offering prayers and little sacrifices on behalf of their loved one. What a wonderful way to accompany someone and ease their way home to the Lord.

Lindsay Caron lives in Portland, Ore., with her husband and three small boys. She is the founder of the TOB Parent School, which empowers parents to introduce TOB principles to their children. Learn more at www.tobparentschool.org.

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‘I SEE GOD IN YOU’

by Ann Gundlach • Photos by Steve Heglin

This is not a phrase normally heard in the average Catholic grade school, but increasingly it is not unusual to hear it at St. Ignatius School in Cincinnati. And it’s the students who are saying it.

Teachers report hearing it in the classroom, in the hallway and even on the playground as children work out little squabbles.

A kindergarten teacher shared that they recently had a student teacher in the classroom who was “blown away” when a little one told her, “You’re a gift from God” after helping with an activity. She left work that day feeling pretty good about what she was learning to do.

Parents are even hearing it at home. Maria Boling says “each night before our first grader goes to bed, he has the habit of telling me that I am a gift before he dozes off to sleep. It melts my heart and even encourages me on tough days.”

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There is a palpable sense of respect and love for the other in this school community. St. Ignatius School principal Kevin Vance acknowledges that he “can’t prove this is because of our theology of the body (TOB) program, but I know it definitely is part of the reason.”

fact, St. John Paul II’s thesis statement—the pivotal summary—of his entire TOB is: “The body, in fact, and only the body, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine. It has been created to transfer into the visible reality of the world, the mystery hidden from eternity in God, and thus to be a sign of it” (TOB 19:4).

Very simply put, it is in and through our bodies that we choose to love or not to love, which actually means we choose to show God to the world—or not—by how we live in our bodies.

There are several other main themes in the St. John Paul II’s work, including love, sexual difference, self-gift, sacramentality, vocation, creation, redemption, purity, the marital “language of the body” and marital chastity.

Many mistakenly think the TOB is mainly a treatise on sexual morality, but it goes far beyond that through his effort to craft a broad vision of the human person, one takes into account both the material and spiritual dimensions of our bodies and how every person images God by being a gift.

In the nearly 40 years since Pope John Paul II gave us his catechesis on the human person, several ministries have been launched to teach and spread its profound messages for the world. One of them is Ruah Woods Press in Cincinnati.

THE MEDICINE THE WORLD CRAVES It’s no exaggeration to say that our culture is sick.

The symptoms are clear: the breakdown of the family, the ridicule of virtue, the widespread embrace of relativism, and more. God knew we would need a renewed vision of His plan for humanity, and He provided it through one simple yet profound Polish

priest, Karol Wojtyla. His life experiences—from the deaths of his parents and siblings by the time he was 20 years old to living through the soul-crushing experience of communism—convicted him that we were losing sight of the dignity of the human person.

The result was a body of work that has come to be known as the theology of the body, which is a series of Wednesday audiences given in Rome from 1979 to 1984, now published in a book entitled, “Man and Woman He Created Them.” The TOB is based in Scripture and focuses on a view of the human person as made in God’s image and likeness. It looks to both Christ and the Trinity as the models for knowing what that means. Christ took on human form in the Incarnation to show us the Father and to send the Holy Spirit: “Jesus said to him...’If you know me, then you will also know my Father. From now on you do know him and have seen him’” (John 14:6–7) and “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth…” (John 14:16–17).

Because of Christ’s Incarnation, there is a profound emphasis on the importance of our bodies in the TOB. In

According to Ruah Woods Press, over the last five years their theology of the body curriculum has reached over 160,000 students in 46 states, 313 dioceses and more than 680 K–12 schools.

START OF A MOVEMENT St. Ignatius School was one of the early adopters of the Ruah Woods’ theology of the body curriculum that is spreading like wildfire. According to Ruah Woods Press, over the last five years their curriculum has reached over 160,000 students in 46 states, 313 dioceses and more than 680 K–12 schools.

Interestingly, Ruah Woods did not see this coming.

“Curriculum development was not part of the original vision of Ruah Woods, but docility to the Holy Spirit was!” says Michael Grasinski, president of Ruah Woods Press. The organization began by hosting adult and teen 16

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education programs on TOB and going into schools to give TOB presentations, but soon realized the need to reach people at a younger age.

“In an attitude of prayer and discernment, it became clear that schools needed more tools to speak to the truth of the human person, made in the image and likeness of God,” Grasinski explains. “The TOB curriculum came about as an answer to a great need. In taking on the huge task of writing curricula, Ruah Woods was hoping to change the culture and get ahead of the many problems that today’s children are facing regarding their identity and purpose.”

The program uses a narrative theology approach that is largely story-based. Ruah Woods understood that children make connections through stories, that they place themselves in the story and identify with the characters as they choose between right and wrong. This awakens their own moral imagination and gives them a guiding light that helps them to choose between right and wrong, virtue and vice, all within the context of self-gift.

“The TOB curriculum came about as an answer to a great need. In taking on the huge task of writing curricula, Ruah Woods was hoping to change the culture and get ahead of the many problems that today’s children are facing.” supplemental religious education material developed

by Ruah Woods that grew to become the K–12 Rooted curriculum. Tim Reilly, the principal at the time, admits that when Ruah Woods first asked him to become a pilot school he was pretty unfamiliar with the TOB, but was definitely intrigued by what he heard. He gave his blessing, and the draft curriculum was first introduced in the seventh and eighth grades, then gradually added to more classrooms as each grade was rolled out.

As a result of their experience and the feedback from schools and teachers using the program, Ruah Woods has since updated the Rooted curriculum. Likewise, how the curriculum is presented at St. Ignatius has evolved since it was introduced.

EARLY ADOPTER About 10 years ago, St. Ignatius became one of a handful of schools that were invited to pilot the new 18

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“At one point it was being taught in the library by the youth minister; it was also given to the religion teachers to add in to their regular program,” says Vickie Geckle, who was teaching second grade at St. Ignatius when the TOB program was introduced in the upper grades. “At the time I was pursuing my master’s degree in theology.

The focus of my thesis was Christian Anthropology and connecting it with some of Dr. Seuss’s work. The Holy Spirit nudged me to approach Mr. Reilly and ask if I could teach TOB to grades K–5 as a stand-alone class.” Permission was granted, and while the TOB class at St. Ignatius was always one of the “specials” classes—similiar to art, music, physical education and technology—at the start of the 2018 school year there were now two designated TOB teachers: Geckle for grades K–5 and middle school teacher Valerie Bender for grades 6–8.

“I love how much the curriculum has grown and changed since I’ve used it,” Bender says. “And I personally love how we present it through two dedicated teachers, which is quite the commitment for a school to make.

I have the kids for three years and so there is consistency.

They can easily talk about things we learned in prior years because we all experienced it together.”

Bender also highlights the benefit of developing trust with her students through those three years as they tackle some of the weightier issues in middle school.

“We have some amazing conversations about marriage, being made male and female,” Bender says. “These kids can really go deep into some of these topics, and I think some people would be surprised that middle school kids can be thinking along those lines.

Once they become comfortable in the classroom with sharing things, it can be very fruitful to go into why the Church teaches what it does about different things and giving them something of substance to think about.”

Bender and Geckle acknowledge that different schools use the Ruah Woods curriculum in a variety of ways. But they like that it is taught all through the year at St. Ignatius and that it has been elevated to a dedicated class.

“When I first started teaching this, students did not receive a grade. While this subject truly can’t be assessed in a traditional way, I do think it’s important for students to take the class seriously and to require them to put effort into learning the concepts. So while I don’t give tests in our TOB classes, the students do have to answer questions about what they read and participate in class discussions. They have assignments to do at home, and as long as they turn things in and are on the right track, they get full credit. Using the Ruah Woods curriculum has changed the way students approach the class; now, rather than being passive listeners, they are encouraged to actively engage with the teaching.”

A CONTRADICTION TO THE WORLD TODAY In February of 2018 Cincinnati’s Archbishop Dennis Schnurr promulgated that Ruah Wood’s Rooted curriculum be taught in all archdiocesan schools in grades K–8, becoming the first U.S. bishop to place such importance on introducing TOB to our children.

The curriculum “presents a Catholic view of human dignity, freedom and truth, and the meaning of life that stands as a sign of contradiction to the dominant view in the world today,” he said.

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That sign of contradiction is not hard to find today at St. Ignatius School. Teachers Geckle and Bender agree that the children soak the TOB concepts in.

Geckle shares that a big focus in kindergarten is on being created as a gift, that you are a gift and a child of God. “We learn that we are created on purpose with a purpose, that God loves us, that the two great Commandments are that God loves us and we are to love others,” she says. “Last week I shared a story about a character, a little animal, who doesn’t like the way God made him. He

telling them. But Bender sees the TOB concepts sinking in and sticking over the years.

“I see a lot of kids in the middle school grades who do understand the concepts of gift of self and treating each other with reverence. I see a lot of that,” she says. “I also have kids tell me, ‘I really love this class’ or ‘I just love getting to be here.’ I mean, those aren’t the kind of things kids usually say about sitting and learning about something, but they say it about this.”

Bender is quick to clarify that not every kid enjoys the class and that for some it may be uncomfortable. “It may have to do with maturity for some, and for others their own personal experiences—broken families, painful past encounters, etc. Some kids just don’t get it right away. But

WHOLE SCHOOL EFFORT While St. Ignatius School dedicates two teachers to its TOB curriculum, the entire campus is involved in living out TOB. Some of the other ways they highlight the truths of TOB: • Good News Call of the Day: All staff are on the lookout for students making a gift of themselves and these kids are often given a shout out on the school’s Facebook page • Virtue of the Month: Principal Kevin Vance has instituted the Virtues in Practice program, a three-year curriculum created by the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville. Each month a virtue is focused on, complete with examples from the saints.

Students are encouraged live out these virtues through their gifts of self.

• Eucharistic Adoration: Children in grades 2–8 are regularly given time with Jesus in his Eucharistic presence.

my husband always reminds me that I am planting seeds.

So I hope that someday one of those kids is going to be in a relationship, or have a difficult situation come up, and they are going to remember that they learned in TOB class that God made them for a purpose, that they are loved simply for their mere existence, that they are good at their very heart.”

thinks he would be much happier if he was a different animal, and he is always looking in the mirror at himself.”

She then asked the kids what they think about themselves when they see their “cute little face in the mirror?”

“This precious little guy looks right at me and says, ‘I think God is in love with me,’” she says. “I was blown away. We were only weeks into this, and he was already grasping how much God loves him.”

Both TOB teachers readily admit that kindergartners are very much like sponges, absorbing whatever you are

A GRADUAL UNFOLDING Geckle and Bender are impressed by the comprehensive approach used in the Ruah Woods program. Each grade level has certain standards to present that match the children’s intellectual and emotional development, 20

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and decide for themselves whether they are a boy or a girl, and that no one should tell them otherwise,” the teacher said. She begged Ashour to produce a curriculum.

That call was the last straw for Ashour, who founded the theology of the body Evangelization Team, Inc. (TOBET). With the board’s blessing she got busy defining a vision and building a writing team. She was THE BODY MATTERS determined to honor all of the proper Around the same time Ruah developmental asWoods was developing its programs, pects of children, Texas educator Monica Ashour and that the prowas responding to a similar call to gram be organic, awaken children to their dignity as designed around daughters and sons of God. the life issues of Ashour had already produced a children. The group book series to introduce children included educaages 2 to 5 to the dignity of the tors of various age whole person—TOB for Tots, pubgroups who were lished by Pauline Books and Meexperts in classidia—when she received a call from cal education and a concerned teacher in Toronto. curriculum development, but who Her school had lost half its students also had an attentiveness to beauty after parents pulled them out due to and literature. gender ideology concerns. “They’re “Lots of blood, sweat and literal telling 1st graders to close their eyes tears went into the five-year development process,” Ashour admits, but the result was The Body Matters program What does The Body Matters offer to with 18 Lesson Books and Classical Educators? robust Educator Guides and Parent Guides. The program can be used in NE W! Theology How? schools or homeschool of the Body for PreK-8th programs, or by parents themselves who want to WHY CHOOSE OUR bring TOB to their children NEW CURRICULUM? on their own.

Now accolades and thanks continue to pour in from not only areas in the United States but also Malaysia, the Philippines, Colombia, Croatia, AustraFind additional information and place orders at www.tobet.org lia, and yes...Canada.

For sample books and special

More help for parents

✔ A complete sacramental vision of the human person grounded in the Church’s teachings. ✔ The essential principles that answer the current gender identity crisis. ✔ A robust understanding of the purpose of our bodies. ✔ Age-appropriate truths that “grow” with the students year by year.

Our new program provides positive, age-appropriate instruction in Saint John Paul’s teachings, reserving the sacred topic of sexuality for the 7th and 8th grades.

✔ By inspiring the child’s imagination and cultivating wonder and reverence for God’s creation. ✔ Through beauty to truth: The truth of the Theology of the Body is communicated using beautiful illustrations and text.

✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔

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ALL non-consumable books One systematic PreK-8th program Fresh illustrations and narratives The only TOB children’s program with original books All authors and editors trained in classical education No prior TOB knowledge or training required Educator and Parent Guides 36 imprimaturs from Archbishop Aquila of Denver — every Lesson Book and Educator Guide The Body Matters program is spearheaded by Monica Ashour, TOB expert, classroom educator, and University of Dallas graduate

Contact Michael for sample books and information about special pricing options.

pricing, contact Michael at TOBET: 972.395.5593 or michael@tobet.org © 2021 TOBET. All rights reserved.

Visit www.tobet.org 21

TOB MONTHLY KIDS

An enterprising group of Catholic parents from the Porland, OR area created a movement to empower parents to reclaim their role as primary educators and introduce their children to TOB. Led by founder Lindsay Caron, a TOB enthusiast and mom of three small boys, they produce TOB Monthly Kids, a colorful mini-magazine for ages 6–9 with busy parents who yearn to pass on the beautiful truths given to the world by Pope John Paul II. “I love the curriculums out there, but they are inaccessible to a lot of parents,” Caron says.

“So we formed the TOB Parent School to create a mini-magazine for parents to teach their kids about personhood and sexuality in an age-appropriate way, with the parent always in the lead.”

Their team uses the Christian Anthropology Standards (fundamental teachings of the TOB) written by Ruah Woods to design interactive and engaging lessons. Each issue contains supporting facts and quotes from doctors, psychologists, saints and Scripture, and is reviewed and approved by a team that includes five theologians.

“The magazine has a very solid foundation because of the team we have developed, but we have kept our eyes on our audience: modern, busy Catholic families,” Caron says.

“This tool needs to be easy, so families can complete the activities at the dinner table once a month.”

TOB Monthly Kids (ages 6–9) is available now. Coming soon is a Spanish version and TOB Monthly Littles for ages 2–5.

Visit www.tobparentschool.org

they write or draw their reflections in their Common Place Book.”

Homework involves some reading selections from the Common Place Book, similar to a personalized workbook, and they have to answer five questions about the reading so that there will be fruitful discussion the next day in class.

“We start those discussions in small groups, which the kids like, and then with the whole class, which is the way the curriculum suggests doing it,” Bender says. “Then in the third class we do an activity or study artwork, music or something else that corresponds to what they learned.”

The format just works, Geckle said. “I think what is so beautiful is that in the younger grades we focus on Genesis and other Scripture. As they get a little older, it moves to connecting Scripture to stories. And then by the time they are in the middle school grades, we can see them connecting it all to themselves. ‘My gosh, I’m a part of this. I’m part of God’s story!’”

The students grow to realize that in today’s modern world they can relate to what is in Genesis and understand that they were created for a purpose.

and the concepts are presented through a mix of Scripture, TOB content, discussion and then application through creativity and the arts.

For instance, Geckle delights in taking her students on nature walks outside when learning about creation in Genesis so they themselves can experience the presence of God in creation. “We talk about the senses we have been gifted with, and how we use them to see, know and love God in his true, good and beautiful gifts to us,” she says.

In the middle school grades, Bender usually spends three class periods on each unit with the first day being a Scripture study. “For instance, in eighth grade the first unit is Vocation and Gift so we read from the Gospel of Mark where Jesus calls his apostles and invites them to be fishers of men,” she says. “We use lectio divina, then 22

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“This curriculum is giving them a view of the big picture that truly is arming them against the culture,” Geckle says. “They are learning who they are, whose they are, and where they were created to live forever. They are learning to spot the good, the true and the beautiful in the world and to use that as their guide for choosing how to live. It’s really incredible to see it actually happening in them.”

The Call to Love continued from page 7

As a consecrated virgin is mystically betrothed to Christ, the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity has some similarities to a wedding: the woman wears a wedding dress, and receives the three symbols of the vocation from her bishop: a wedding veil and wedding ring, symbolizing her new identity as a bride of Christ, and a breviary, symbolic of the intercessory role of her vocation.

How did Jen’s vocation become clear to her? Jen is convinced two things made it possible: prayer and time before our Lord in the Eucharist. True discernment can only occur when we experience Christ deeply in our personal prayer. Then he begins to walk freely through the rooms of our inner dwelling and make them his own.

Once Jen began living her life as a fruitful gift, she experienced the openness that allowed the Lord to unfold her vocation to her. But there were still hurdles that took about four years to clear. For example, in spiritual direction she was working on learning to trust God’s love for her. There was a point when she knew she needed help getting to a deeper understanding of believing she was loveable as she was. “How can I enter a spousal relationship with the Lord if I don’t believe He really loves me?” she remembers thinking. She added some good Catholic counseling for about a year and a half, and finally reached a point where she felt ready to enter into formal preparation.

Jen was formed for two years in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, with the aid of a priest formator and a Consecrated Virgin mentor. It was a time of monthly meetings, much prayer and reading assignments from a formation guide that prepared her through Church documents, lives of the saints, Marian theology, the charism of consecrated virginity, and more. It was a joyous day for Jen when she was consecrated on February 2, 2017 by Archbishop Charles Chaput, then Archbishop of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.

What has it been like for Jen to give her heart and her very self to Christ as a consecrated virgin? At times moments of loneliness can arise, but even these occasions are pervaded with a deep inner peace. And nothing in the world can compare with the joy of belonging entirely and exclusively to the One who is love itself—the one for whom every human heart has been made.

LEARN MORE ABOUT RUAH WOODS’ MATERIALS • K–8 Rooted or Revealed (newest edition) • High School: Called to Be More • www.ruahwoodspress.com Fellow teachers at St. Ignatius agree, including Innovation & Design teacher Megan Mears who herself was introduced to TOB by overhearing many of the early TOB lessons due to the teachers using a shared space.

“I fully believe this experience was the start of a deepening of my own spiritual life,” says Mears. “As I look back on my own early elementary school experience, I regret that the seeds of a loving, personal relationship with God were not sown, at least in such a way that TOB allows.

I’m grateful for the gifts my teachers gave me, namely reverence for the Eucharist, the desire to attend daily Mass, and knowledge of the precepts of the Church. But had I been aware that our Lord knew me and loved me, I could have faced challenges later on with the knowledge that I was not alone.”

Mears now has a daughter of her own at St. Ignatius and is grateful to know she is at a school where her daughter is taught, affirmed and assured that she is known and loved by the Lord.

“St. Ignatius is nurturing a generation of children who will grow in confidence, knowing their true identity as sons and daughters of God. This is the foundation they need to be able to go forth and set the world on fire, approaching the world’s concerns in a rightly-ordered manner,” Mears says. “There is nothing of higher value if they don’t first understand they were created by God to love Him, to be in relationship with him, and to love themselves and others.”

“My daughter’s education is sending her down a path of joy, freedom and love. This is the best gift any parent could desire.”

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WITH HUMOR AND CONVICTION

TAKE YOUTUBE BY STORM

by Christina Ries

THE ROW OF MARVEL SUPERHEROES perched above a row of saint statues says it all: These three Texas dads know how to mix levity and piety. And it’s working. Rome Boys, a new YouTube show, has quickly garnered a following, drawing on their masculine, light-hearted and deeply Catholic way.

Tony Frasco, dubbed the Theologian, Joe Mattiewsen, the Farmer, and Chris Martin, the Entrepreneur, are ordinary guys who felt called to more actively share their faith. It’s been quite a ride!

The showed launched in late March 2020, right as quarantine began for Covid-19. The three friends—all of whom teach RCIA—seized the extra time to record and edit a show and promote it online. They now attract high-profile guests, including Jason Evert, Dr. Scott Hahn, Dr. Ray Guarendi and Teresa Tomeo.

“I truly believe God has started this and this is His apostolate,” said Tony, a pilgrimage coordinator and father of seven in Rowena, Texas. “Most days I’m exhausted and sometimes even burned out, but I keep going because it is for Him.”

PRINGLES & POPES Delving into all things Catholic while keeping things light makes the show easy to watch. “We laugh a lot and have fun, which I think people appreciate,” Tony said. “At the same time, we aren’t afraid to say what Christ and the Church teaches.”

Humor and spirituality go hand in hand, the Rome Boys believe. Thus, deep talk about theology of the body might be interspersed with a Pringle-eating contest. “I like what St. Teresa of Avila said: ‘From sour-faced saints, Good Lord, deliver us,’” Tony said. “The world zaps us of our joy and weighs us down. Catholics are called to bring hope to every situation.”

Chris, a nursing home owner and father of six who also lives in Rowena, agrees wholeheartedly. “We’ve said over and over that we don’t want to be like other shows that get hung up on things that divide our Church,” he said. “While we still discuss tough topics, we also know that joy is our innate desire. True joy is only found through Jesus Christ, so you could say humor is a taste of heaven.”

Joe, a cotton farmer and father of five from nearby Olfen, Texas, echoes their sentiments. “Aren’t we supposed to be preaching the good news?” he said.

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SAYING YES

DAD IS A YOUTUBE SENSATION

Substituting bad news with good news is an innately Catholic venture, the guys believe. It’s a reframing through the theology of the body.

“As an example, I was taught the scare tactics in regards to sex,” Tony said. “You should abstain because you don’t want to get a girl pregnant or get a disease. ‘Just say no!’ But the theology of the body is saying yes to the Lord’s plans for sex and truly being heroic and waiting, which is hard, but the blessings will follow. It’s the positive and joy-filled way to view the gift of sex.”

When presented in that light, young Catholics clamor to learn more, said Tony, who used to be a theology teacher.

Tony was fortunate to learn from the best. He spent two years in seminary, where Christopher West taught theology of the body when it was starting to take off in the Church.

“I remember West jumped up on the table because he was so passionate about TOB. As a theology teacher, I

Chris, Joe and Tony happen to have a YouTube show at a time when kids think that’s pretty cool. This is not lost on them.

“The kids from all three of our families think we’re heroes,” Chris said. “It’s an amazing feeling. Today kids think they can become YouTube stars and make millions. Well, funny thing is, they see us talking with some of the most wellknown Catholics on the planet, and while their belief in the power of YouTube is consistent with their peers they see that we can keep the faith at the same time! It’s a godsend for us during this entertainment age!”

Joe is grateful too. “Our kids are our biggest fans,” he said. “They’re always wearing a Rome Boys T-shirt.”

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made sure to incorporate JPII’s teachings, especially with my older students.”

The approach of Christopher West also resonated with Chris, a convert. “Before I became a Catholic, I had a Christopher West CD that I listened to over and over and over,” he said. “The truths in it were so profound. We thought the sexual revolution was limited to the ‘50s and ’60s. Little did we know the worst was yet to come. And here we are, facing the biggest crisis of humanity with gender fluidity and the elimination of cultural norms based on basic human anatomy.”

“I MIGHT HAVE GIVEN UP ON THINGS IN MY CAREER A LONG TIME AGO IF I DIDN’T HAVE MY FAMILY TO FIGHT FOR. THEY MOTIVATE ME TO BE A BETTER MAN AND FATHER.” Raising girls, and reflecting on their uniquely feminine giftedness, has been eye opening. “It has brought Scripture to life for me. It’s my role to love them as females, as Christ loves His church, with sacrificial love.

I might have given up on things in my career a long time ago if I didn’t have my family to fight for. They motivate me to be a better man and father. The girls love me dearly, and I believe that if I show them true love from a man they will know not to go looking for love in all the wrong places as young women. It’s a big role to take on, showing them how the world should behave—as male and female, with respect and dignity.”

BIG DREAMS The Rome Boys aren’t afraid to dream big, emboldened by God. Tony has high hopes for the show. “It’s up to God, but [it’d be great] to have a book published,” he said. “Give talks as long as it doesn’t interfere with family life. Have donors so we can pay the bills!”

For Chris, dreaming about the future means moving past his childhood, which was defined by drugs and poverty. At age 19, he read “The Magic of Thinking” by Dr. David Schwartz.

“It changed my life,” Chris said. “I realized I was built for something great, and if I set my mind to something, I could achieve it.”

Now Chris dreams about the open sea. “If I could do anything, it would be to learn how to sail and take my family around the world on a sailboat and live at sea for five years. Our oldest daughter is 12, so she would be 17 or 18 by the end of the circumnavigation. But the truth is, my wife would never ever ever ever ever go for it.

This much is clear.”

Joe, meanwhile, dreams of a good crop coinciding with a good price on commodities. He “never seems to get both in the same year.”

ENDURING TRUTHS Striving to love as God loves—free, faithful, fruitful and total—is an ongoing charge for the Rome Boys.

This means sacrificing himself in his relationship with his wife, Chris said. It should also inform a person’s parenting style, said Tony. “Instead of saying to my kids, ‘No, you can’t do that,’ I try to explain why it is better to do X because that will give them the freedom they ultimately long for.” Chris acknowledged this is not always easy but it gives the kids a framework for learning to make their own choices.

Embracing their identity as being created male is another TOB teaching the Rome Boys hold dear. “Man is called to be a protector, a provider and willing to sacrifice for the good of others,” Tony said. “He is the rock of the family and the foundation. That’s why so many more young people keep the faith when they have a solid, holy dad growing up.”

As a father of six girls, Chris is keenly aware of the example he’s setting for them. “I enjoy hard work and modeling leadership within the family,” he said.

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O R I G I N A L

B E A U T Y

Awakening through sleep

by Katie Lovett

I have a confession to make. I am writing this column in a state of half-consciousness. I can barely keep my eyes open.

It’s a hard thing to admit considering that we just met.

But there’s something to be learned from the go, go, go nature of our daily grind, and mine is as good an example as any.

I went to bed at 1:00 this morning. I woke at 5:00. I have driven nearly three hours, stared at a computer for six, cleaned rotten milk out of a backpack, scrubbed toilets, guzzled coffee and worried that I wasn’t doing enough. I went to Mass like a woebegone creature, teary-eyed for the whole 45 minutes. Because I’m exhausted.

Overwhelmed. A woman juggling too many plates. A person who’s tired of everyone and everything. All I want to do is go to sleep.

Why don’t I? Because there are so many things to do. And let’s not forget that all-important task of feeling sorry for myself. There’s no time for sleep.

Yet next to my chair is a quote from Psalm 127: In vain is your earlier rising, your going later to rest, you who toil for the bread you eat: When He pours gifts on his beloved while they slumber.

Slumber. How I wish the world valued slumber. Everyone is woke now, or told they should be. Even the Church prioritizes wakefulness. “Awake from your slumber!

Arise from your sleep! A new day is dawning for all those who weep!” With sentiments like these, am I even allowed to sleep? No rest for the wicked me, I suppose.

But there’s something profound in the Church’s call to rise from slumber, something not present in the culture’s misguided wokeness. You can find it in the simple rhyme of sleep and weep.

Have you ever noticed that sleeping and sobbing both have cathartic properties? Impossible problems work themselves out after a good night’s sleep. Crippling

traumas become survivable after a long cry. The hymn says, “Arise from your sleep...all those who weep,” as if sleeping and weeping were synonymous. Maybe they are. When life’s trials break us down, we cry ourselves to sleep. We fall into bed with troubled minds and hearts.

But oh, what grace God pours upon us while we slumber.

We see this in the dream of St. Joseph. What a troubled sleep that must have been! But God meets us in our restlessness. In Joseph’s supernatural dream, the angel revealed hope—for Joseph and for the world.

The same can happen in our own dreams. Science tells us that dreams help us process stress and see solutions. Dreams, remembered or not, give us hope. As we sleep, God pours out his gifts, giving us the strength to rise from slumber and walk in the light of day. St. Patrick knew this too. He begins his famous prayer with “I arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity…”

It’s important to be awake. The culture realizes this.

What it doesn’t realize is that waking means hope, not wallowing in past pains or facing them with the same darkness. Yes, the world has too long been asleep. But God has poured his gift of hope into those long centuries, drying the tears of those who weep.

John Paul II’s theology of the body is a true call to wakefulness. It rose from the tears of WWII’s horrors and the sexual revolution’s objectification. To an exhausted culture that’s tired of everyone and everything, that refuses to rest in the Church’s arms, it’s a theology that doesn’t make sense. But when the world at last cries itself to sleep and rises in the morning, it will find in the beauty of theology of the body the waking hope that will dry its tears.

Katie Lovett works for the Angelico Project, a Catholic arts organization that seeks to evangelize through beauty. She lives in southwest Ohio with her husband and four children.

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nataliezpeters

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Natalie Peters Art Scholar Beauty | City Life | Design | Wellness Building a beautifully adapted life with my husband (SCI C5/6)

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beautifully adapted

by Christina Ries

At a glance, Natalie Peters’ Instagram account looks like the well-curated account of an art scholar. The redheaded beauty appears effortlessly chic in flowing frocks and wide-brimmed hats. Her dark, handsome husband smiles at the helm of a boat, or in a tux by the Christmas tree, nestled close. Their Washington, DC., home is tastefully decorated, and the fruits of their kitchen are magazine-worthy: rosemary pear pie whipped up for Thanksgiving, an Italian pistachio cake with roast plum buttercream for Easter.

But take a closer look, and you’ll see something unexpected: a wheelchair.

On July 16, 2013—just 11 weeks after their wedding— Natalie’s husband, Thom, was in a freak swimming accident that injured his spinal cord at his C5-6 vertebrae.

The young couple was devasted, and at the same time, relieved he’d survived, an outcome doctors described as miraculous.

A philosophy major at Ave Maria College who found Pope John Paul II’s writings “hugely influential,” Natalie found herself digging back into the theology of the body.

It spoke to her—as a former dancer and as the wife of a quadriplegic.

Natalie promised God she would never shy away from telling others about his saving hand, and her social media presence reflects this. Thom’s wheelchair is neither hidden nor exploited. It’s a part of her mission of “building a beautifully adapted life with my husband (SCI C5/6),” as her Instagram profile states.

Now 36, Natalie works as an art scholar and a personal color analyst. Thom, also 36, is CEO of a company that builds political software. They belong to St. John the Beloved Catholic Church in McLean, Va.

Tell me about the night of Thom’s accident.

I was told there was no chance he would survive the night. And if he did, they said he would be brain dead.

The next morning, he woke up and there was no brain damage. He remained in very critical condition for several weeks, and there were many moments when I thought I was losing him.

“I’ve learned that I can do really hard things with God’s grace.” Natalie Peters How were you feeling?

It was a mix of joy and complete heartbreak. I knew we were given a miracle. But it was also devastating to see him suffering and to realize the full impact of his injury.

Just 24 hours beforehand I had watched him tie his tie and kissed him goodbye as he dashed out the door for work. He was my young, perfect, healthy husband.

It was surreal.

How has your Catholic faith helped you endure this tragedy?

Faith puts everything into perspective. We are not here to live our best life according to the world’s standards. My faith helps me choose love in the hard moments, knowing these acts can be sanctifying if done in love instead of resentment or anger. Knowing that this is part of God’s plan for us has been very consoling.

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Specifically, how do St. John Paul II’s teachings on the theology of the body influence your thinking about the injury and its aftermath?

person becomes a gift—and through this gift—fulfills the very meaning of his being and existence.” This beautifully contradicts the secular worldview that often sees the human body as an object or a machine. Knowing instead that we are created in love and for love, in God’s own image, reveals our great dignity as human persons. And I think it challenges us to live in a way that is worthy of that reality.

It gives me a new perspective on “gift of self.” I feel like I was given the gift of my spouse twice—first in marriage and again in his survival. But also, when I care for him with love, I can perpetuate that giving. When he accepts my help with love for me, he returns the gift. It is beautiful how this concept can be lived out in real, tangible ways.

It’s sometimes said we are most fully human when we love as God loves—free, total, faithful and fruitful. What does this mean to you?

When were you first introduced to the theology of the body?

In high school. I was fortunate to learn these concepts at such a critical age.

First, it’s a reminder to pray for that grace! But more specifically, this is a radical way to love. According to the world’s standard, I’m supposed to feel burdened

by Thom’s care, to crave my own autonomy and to put my needs first. But none of that bears fruit or brings happiness. These can only be found in freely loving and serving the other.

Did it speak to you as a former dancer?

Yes, definitely. It is impossible to experience the joy of dance and movement without also appreciating the intimate union that we have within our body and soul. They move together. They feel together.

I did tap, jazz and ballet, competing nationally through grade school. These days I just dance in my kitchen or in a fitness class.

Does the “total” description resonate differently now?

Yes, definitely. When there is suffering and pain in life, there can be a temptation to withdraw and hold back.

But spouses are called to do the opposite in marriage. It is a love that is total. It holds nothing back—and continues giving even when the other cannot. This is how God loves us and it’s how we are called to love one another. Our difficulties have also brought me into a deeper understanding of just how much God loves each of us.

Can you share a direct quote from TOB that speaks to you?

“The human body…contains ‘from the beginning’…the power to express love: precisely that love in which the

Have you thought about your role as Thom’s wife and full-time support through this lens of loving as God loves?

I have. But I don’t think it has changed so dramatically since the accident. This is the calling of all married couples. Marriage will require your all no matter what.

Though I do appreciate how this does look different for us; I feel it is part of what makes our marriage unique.

Let’s circle back to the idea of self-gift. What’s it like living this out so radically now as you help Thom?

I’m not sure it’s radical. It has been a huge transition, for sure, with sacrifices made by both of us. We were both very independent before the accident. It has been an opportunity to grow in my vocation, 30

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and I can honestly say that in all the ways I care for him—helping him get ready in the morning, showering, dressing and so forth—there is a beautiful intimacy that we’re sharing. We get to spend more time together than any couple I know. And we really cherish that.

if I get sick or become unable to care for my husband or myself. Ultimately, it is an opportunity to trust in the Lord’s providence. He will help us do whatever needs to be done.

I do prioritize my health and wellness by eating healthy, daily exercise, getting sleep and setting boundaries to manage stress. I love the quote from St. Augustine: “Take care of your body as if you were going to live forever, and take care of your soul as if you were going to die tomorrow.”

Do you think about your body differently now, after the accident?

Absolutely. I appreciate more than ever the health and ability I have, especially as I am literally the arms and legs for two people. But I worry sometimes what happens 31

‘Tomorrow

In retrospect, did anything earlier in your life prepare you for this life? Or is there no preparing?

I don’t think anything can prepare you. But marrying the right person and building a solid foundation is a great start. When we were dating, I had some health issues that we were concerned about. I was worried about being a burden as his wife. I can laugh now because—wow, we had no idea what was coming!

But that fear led to some incredible conversations about “in sickness and in health,” infertility and so on.

We got deep into the hard topics. I am so grateful for those conversations. When he was injured, we already had such a solid foundation—even at 11 weeks of marriage.

MOVING FORWARD from his spinal-cord injury at age 27 has required spiritual and mental discipline.

Thom Peters does not define his life as before and after or use the phrase “a new normal.”

“Life, in my experience, is extraordinarily dynamic,” he said, “and part of what has helped me through the past eight years has been to not settle for a ‘new normal’ but instead strive for constant— though it’s normally gradual—improvement.”

Managing his disability can feel consuming. It’s “more than a part-time job,” he said, robbing him of most of his hobbies and, in their place, requiring years of grueling physical therapy.

Talking about his injury can also be a burden.

“Some people are genuinely clueless, or worst of all, presume to know what I’ve been through and how I feel,” he said.

Having a proper outlook is paramount.

“The most helpful mindset change has been to focus more on the good things I have than the good things I have lost,” Thom said. “That inverted—or actually, properly ordered—perspective has been a life saver.”

It’s hard for Thom to imagine how people without a spiritual foundation respond to a serious injury or health crisis. “Faith is indispensable,” he said. “Having a perspective that stretches beyond this life and that sees this life as a beautiful means to a fulfilling end is key.”

Even with that solid foundation, the journey since his accident has been full of surprises.

“Friends I thought were constant dropped away.

People who never met me are still praying for me by name daily. I have recovered in ways I thought impossible. I have not recovered in ways I expected to.”

Things Thom once took for granted have been lifted into sharp relief. “My body is an incredible gift, no matter what its abilities. I remember vividly on one of my first rides outside the rehabilitation hospital after my accident looking through the van windows and seeing people simply walking to their destinations. Walking! Without even giving it a second thought! I actually thought to myself: ‘What they can do—these are gods!’

“Take care of your body as if you were going to live forever, and take care of your soul as if you were going to die tomorrow.” St. Augustine Do you feel a lot of pressure, as Thom’s sole caregiver?

I used to feel this a lot and it was overwhelming at times. These days it comes and goes. The feeling has improved with an increase in my own confidence in who I am as his wife, knowing how to care for him and having confidence in our discernment. I also learned how to lean on him again. He is such a rock and an incredible support, which lightens my heart and my load.

How do you try to be gentle and forgiving with yourself?

I have a type-A personality, so I’m still working on this.

It was helpful to work with a Christian counselor and see how hard and unforgiving I tend to be with myself. I saw where I needed healing in my own life. I’ve learned that when I want to push and strive, I often need to slow down, go gently and be present. And the sacrament of confession always helps.

What has helped you most in terms of accepting this adapted life and feeling hopeful about the future?

Time. Time to move through the stages of grief, time to mature and heal, time to see what can be made new in Christ’s love for us. Early on I was determined that we would not let this accident change us. But it is always more fruitful to cooperate with God’s will. Suffering can be sanctifying, meaningful and is an opportunity for 32

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is a new day’ “I took for granted the insane abundance of God’s gift of our bodies before my accident. Our culture spends so much time nit-picking and abusing our bodies. Don’t.

You’re so blessed that God chose to create and embody you. Be grateful!”

not reducible to ‘complete’ physical abilities,” he said.

“It feels good to serve my wife in every and any way.

The ways I cannot serve her as before are a source of sadness. But I refuse to accept these limitations as a permanent ‘new normal.’ They are what they are today.

Tomorrow is a new day.”

SERVING OTHERS The wisdom of theology of the body has anchored Thom. “We are created for others,” he said. “Of the many things I’m grateful for, it’s that through my body I can still serve others and be present to them, even if that just means listening to them.”

Loving as God loves is never easy. “What’s new since my accident is the challenge of transcending my own limitations and self-focus and being consumed with love of others. Granted, I was distracted by my own desires before my accident, but now my injury adds an additional set of demands and distractions each day.”

Continuing to mature in his understanding of masculinity helps inform Thom’s thinking. “Masculinity is

Through it all, Thom has learned a lot about himself.

In summary: “When I am weak, I am strong.”

Through it all, Thom has learned a lot about himself. In summary: “When I am weak, I am strong.”

Learning to accept help has not come naturally. “I was extremely independent before my injury,” he said.

“Asking for help was not a habit of mine. At this stage in the journey, I have found that good people enjoy being helpful, especially if you are specific in what you need and act naturally. This puts you and others at ease.”

It also provides a profound lesson.

“Seeing the spiritual interplay has been extremely helpful in being at peace with needing more help. Sometimes we’re called to be charitable to others, and sometimes we’re called to receive charity from others.

Both are expressions of charity!”

Another spiritual reality is the bittersweet intermingling of sorrow and joy. “What is most sweet is how grief can accompany grace, and vice versa. I can be happy to be able to witness or participate in many things—baptisms, weddings—but unable to participate in quite the same way as I would without my injury.”

That experience has opened his eyes.

“To suffer is to notice suffering in others and also to realize how much suffering is hidden,” Thom said. “Some of my suffering is highly visible, which gives me an access point in conversation or when trying to console someone.”

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I admire your embrace of beauty—in quiet, lovely ways right in your home. Do you see these simple gestures to surround yourself and Thom by beauty in a new light now?

These gestures are so important.

They are life-giving. When Thom was first home from the hospital, we were in a new apartment that was nearly empty. It had a hospital bed and a Hoyer lift, which I initially used to help transfer him. There were medical supplies everywhere. It was a harsh new reality for sure. As I continued to work on our little home, we both improved—our mood, our outlook, we began to heal. They are small things, but they matter so much.

What is the most helpful thing people have done to support you?

growth. And that makes me very hopeful for the future.

I’m proud of the life we have built. And we’re only eight years in!

Initially, it was the thousands of cards and prayers from around the world. Plus a fundraiser to help us get on our feet again. It was a powerful experience of the body of Christ.

Since then, our friends continue to help in so many practical ways: dropping off a meal if we’re recovering from a setback, helping me move heavy things, having fun and celebrating every milestone with us.

Does setting big goals help with the hopeful part?

What is not helpful?

There are exciting things on the horizon. We’re looking to buy our first house to renovate and make it accessible. I’m in the midst of a career pivot and launching a new business. Thom continues to expand his own business.

We are dying to buy a dog and get back to Europe.

But our primary goals are finding more ways to live out our marriage vows, to serve our families and the Church and to use our talents and resources for the greater good. We think about that a lot.

The most painful comments: “you are a saint”, “you are such an inspiration”, “you really have your hands full.” They are heartbreaking. These compliments are always a put-down.

Who would not want to be married to the greatest man ever? I would also add, seeing how the disabled are treated in our culture. When Thom is treated differently than me because he’s in a wheelchair, it’s devastating. I want to shout out all his achievements and qualities, but none of that matters because the point is: He is a human being with dignity and worth, just like every single human being.

What has surprised you about this journey?

Everything! And it continues to.

What have you learned about yourself?

What has this tragedy opened up to you? Are certain avenues open that weren’t before?

I have a greater awareness of where I need to grow.

I’ve learned that I can do really hard things with God’s grace. And how important it is to maintain my sense of humor about all of these difficulties.

Perhaps the opposite. In many ways it has streamlined everything: my time, my focus, my desires. It has shed light on what truly matters in my life.

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But also, I think where we are today is largely due to this event in our life. I will never know what would have been, so I credit all I have to what has happened and where we have been—not in spite of it.

Has the grief been matched by grace?

We have had both in abundance.

But the grace God bestows cannot blunt the pain of grief. Both are experienced—it’s what it means to be human. We’ve been living inside a miracle for eight years, and that has not spared us from suffering and pain. This is still really hard.

One day we will see more clearly just how much grace was bestowed—when we’re on the other side of this life.

we are still processing and continue to pray about.

It’s important to remember that not all couples are able to be parents and it’s not the only way a marriage is fruitful. So far our fatherhood and motherhood have been what Alice von Hildebrand [and JPII!]

calls “spiritual.” So far this has been our path.

But patience and trust have been essential in living with this reality and staying the course. I know God will continue to lead us.

Follow Natalie and learn about her new business at @nataliezpeters.

For $3 or less, who would you give these books and CDs to?

Are you more compassionate now?

I think I have more empathy for others and what they are going through. I don’t breeze through my life in the same way as before. So much of one’s suffering happens alone, away from the world. We can never know what someone else is going through. I’ve learned how important it is to tread lightly and go easy on others.

I also have a greater appreciation for how fragile life is. For how long healing takes. For us, the temptation can be to overly focus on our own difficulties. We strive instead to see the suffering of others and reach out.

How did the accident change your family planning? What is the path forward?

More recently we have come to fully realize that the accident means we cannot have biological children. In vitro fertilization is commonly used by men with a spinal cord injury. As faithful Catholics, we are ethically opposed to this means. Our situation is something

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Catching up with

EMILY STIMPSON CHAPMAN You were 41 when you married Chris, and it was time to get cracking on babies. But that didn’t come easy. Did it ever feel like a cruel irony that a woman with such in-depth knowledge of Catholic teaching on marriage and sexuality—someone who had been yearning for marriage and motherhood for so long—was never able to conceive?

Emily Stimpson was single back in 2013 when her book “These Beautiful Bones” was published. It broke open the teachings of St. John Paul II’s theology of the body in a powerful new way, applying them broadly and earning accolades from top Catholic thinkers along with everyday readers.

Today—nine short years later—she is married and the mother of three children ages 3 and younger. She’s authored more books, most recently a bestselling collection of essays titled “Letters to Myself from the End of the World,” and her Instagram following surged, rendering her a one-of-a-kind Catholic social-media influencer.

There, she offers more than 20,000 devoted followers snapshots from her 132-year-old renovated Victorian in Crafton, Pa., alongside beautifully written vignettes about life and love. She recently chatted with Senior Editor Christina Ries.

We often approach God’s love and morality with a mentality of, “Well, if I do this, then I’m going to get a reward.” “OK, God, if I stay chaste, then you’re going to send me a husband.” Or, “I did everything right; we pursued dating and marriage exactly as you wanted us to do it; why isn’t there a baby?”

We treat people and relationships as objects, rewards for our good behavior. In grade school you could always motivate me with the promise of a gold star. I was a goldstar chart girl.

In my spiritual life, I had to get away from that mentality: I’ve been good; I want my reward. That was definitely a spiritual hurdle I had to clear.

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Ultimately you adopted three children. But in those first years of marriage, it must’ve been hard to wait for that reward.

I’m a very type-A choleric. I pursue objectives single-mindedly and do whatever I have to do to make something work, so I approached fertility like that. Even before we were engaged, I was seeing NaProTechnology doctors and getting tested and taking supplements and doing everything I could to prep my body to have a baby, which was all good and fine, but I was approaching it with an attitude of real control.

NaProTechnology is the first women’s health science to mesh family planning with reproductive health monitoring and maintenance.

It is a fertility-care based medical approach rather than a fertility-control approach to family planning and gynecological health. Learn more at www.naprotechnology.com.

That was another issue I had to work through with God: You can’t force the gift of new life.

You can’t control how your life is supposed to unfold. You can do everything right. You can do all of the work, and that doesn’t always produce the result you want. It might if you’re cleaning your house. But honestly, lately we keep getting babies, and I can’t control anything anymore. It’s a constant surrender.

What concepts from “These Beautiful Bones” have been hardest to live out?

I don’t know how to find this balance people talk about.

I have multiple vocations, and how do I give myself fully to each? Finding ways for my head to be fully present to where my body is, and not being split apart, is really difficult.

Having thought deeply about the spiritual meaning of motherhood helps ground me when I’m more likely to get caught up in the mundane or the frustrating. I’m grateful for all of that intellectual work because I do actually think it makes mothering easier.

How does it compare with your single days?

It’s a different kind of surrender. When I was single, I had to surrender my plan for how my future was going to go, but my house was still neat and I controlled how my day was going to go. I had control of the details. Now I’m having to surrender everything. God is like, “OK, that was good. Now you’re going to surrender the next hour.”

Each stage is hard.

Has TOB always felt wide-ranging to you?

Yes. I first read it by reading the Wednesday audiences, so for me, then, the theology of the body was always 38

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And now?

about working it out: How do I live this anthropology as a single person? How does this affect my work? How does this affect how I think about hospitality and food?

The sacramental world view of the theology of the body became the prism through which I came to understand life. It was so profoundly healing, and it reshaped the way I saw my body and the human person and the world.

Theology of the body is still helping me make sense of a late marriage, infertility, being an adoptive mom, all of those things. It’s helped me see a deeper meaning—especially to the infertility.

If we believe in a sacramental worldview, that everything in creation is teaching us a truth about God and the human person, then what was infertility teaching me? What was I, as an infertile woman, a sign of? What is adoption a sign of? What theological reality was adoption pointing to?

Theology of the body helped me always see a purpose in my vocation, my motherhood—even when it looked different. God is teaching us through this. God doesn’t permit anything that he can’t use for our own salvation.

Anthropology is the study of humans—their origins, development, cultures, etc. Theology of the body has been called an “adequate anthropology” because through it Pope John Paul II offers a full version of who the human person is called to be according to God’s loving design.

What does TOB tell you about infertility?

Everything about a woman’s body is ordered to motherhood—our hormones, our organs, our skin, our breasts.

Everything is made to be a mother. And when your body won’t do what it is clearly supposed to do, there is this frustration. But isn’t that our life after the Fall? That’s humanity. We’re all broken. Without grace, we’re all not able to do what God made us to do. We’re all not able to live in this perfect state of grace in this world. We can’t live the life He made us for until heaven. That’s when bodies are made whole and our souls are made whole.

So in a way I see the infertile woman is a sign of broken humanity, crying out to God: “Why can’t I do what you made me to do?”

“I’m giving myself permission to not have to be what everybody wants me to be—and to say no.”

Emily Stimpson Chapman

With Chris being a Catholic teacher and you, a Catholic writer, you two found yourselves in a tough financial position when it came time to adopt, so you launched a fundraiser. What did you learn from that experience?

This was another time to say, “Thanks, Lord, for letting me be an icon of needy humanity as we pursue this adoption process.” But it’s so good for us spirituality. It’s good for all of us to have an opportunity to give money, and it’s good for us to be on the receiving end of some form of assistance.

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I don’t think you can grow spirituality without being the person receiving help. And it changes the way you give when you give.

Once those babies arrived, you were the beneficiary of a lot of donated breastmilk.

More than 30,000 ounces! What does that gift reflect about the theology of the body?

It’s such an act of pure motherhood, this desire to feed and care and nurture and nourish. It’s amazing because our society could not be more polarized if we tried. Yet we have received milk from liberals and conservatives, blacks, Asians, Latinas, Catholics, Evangelicals and orthodox Jews. All these women have given us milk without asking anything. They just want to help feed the baby.

Adopted babies tend to get more [donated] breastmilk. I think there’s just this insatiable desire to give the to the child who has been separated from their mother, in whose womb they grew. There’s this instinctual desire to feed the baby, which I think is so beautiful.

It shows the heart of motherhood and how motherhood is expressed in physical acts, even when it’s not your own child.

TOB calls for an integrated life, nothing compartmentalized. We’re letting the whole of our lives reflect the faith we profess. How can we seek this integration?

Tobias James, in September 2018. In July 2020, you adopted your second child, Becket Christopher, in Dallas. Eight months later you flew to California for the birth of your third child, a daughter you named Eleanore Rose and call Ellie. All three adoptions happened in the span of 32 months. How have you processed it all?

It’s the call to the present moment. You don’t have a body in the future. You don’t have a body in the past. You and your body are in the present. How do you learn the present lessons, serve the person in front of you, love the person in front of you, do the job in front of you, offer the prayer right now? It’s all so immediate and embodied.

We’re often in our heads living in the past or the future.

But the body is here and we are here and this is where God is calling us to live, as a whole person.

So much has happened. In eight months, I did two stays in two NICUs in two different states during Covid!

Sometimes I have to remind myself, when I’m feeling tired or overwhelmed, that this has been a lot. This has been a big season with a lot of change and it’s OK to feel overwhelmed. For instance, I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to fight with strangers online who aren’t going to listen to me. I just don’t go there. I am lucky if I can get a picture online sometimes. I can do what I can do. I

It was just five years ago that you got married. Since then, life has happened at a breakneck pace. You adopted your first child, 41

can share what I have now. I’m giving myself permission to not have to be what everybody wants me to be—and to say no. I’m learning to set boundaries for myself. I don’t have to do everything. The best work I do is just loving my children.

I had things to say, and I said them, and it’s always been me. I treat Instagram like I still have 700 followers.

It’s like my writing. When I write, I’m not writing for the 30,000 people who may read my book. I’m writing for my editor. If I’m good and my husband is happy and God is happy, I’m good. I’m always surprised at the number of people who read my work.

There’s very little freedom granted to people of thought.

You must think this way right now—if you’re not doing this you’re a horrible person.

Let’s end with this: Why do we need the theology of the body today?

The theology of the body is the Catholic way of understanding the human person and creation, and that way of understanding is under attack on every front. Our culture is undermining reality. The way you fight back is by grounding yourself in reality as it is, not as we want it to be. In a world that is trying to deceive us, it helps us understand who we are.

Sometimes that means ignoring angry direct messages you get from someone who wants you to address the vaccine or racism or another hot-button issue.

Follow Emily on Instagram at @emilystimpsonchapman and learn more at her website, thecatholictable.com.

It’s a real problem in our culture right now, where we expect everybody to feel the same way, look at the same data sets, come to the same conclusions, process at the same speed and come to the exact same conclusions.

I don’t know if it’s rooted in fear, if people are anxious and they’re trying to control and grasp things. Maybe they’re so wrapped up in their own heads that they can’t put themselves in others’ shoes.

I don’t know if we’ve become so tribalized in social media that we’re not capable of engaging with other people.

There’s very little freedom granted to people of thought. You must think this way right now—if you’re not doing this you’re a horrible person.

I love when someone says, “I don’t know.” I instantly trust them. You can’t have that level of certainly about everything in the world.

Agreed! Let’s talk social media now. You’ve unwittingly become an Instagram influencer.

It’s hilarious! Overall, I love Instagram because it’s been such a blessing to me. We have our children in large part because of Instagram. But I think it’s good I approached it as a 43-year-old woman and not a 23-year-old woman, as I already had some boundaries.

Your account grew quickly! You have more than 20,000 followers.

Three years ago, I had 700 people. I’m just myself.

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When people look at you, they see a person, not a number. They see your smile, the glow of your skin, and the intelligence in your eyes. They see you, the woman and friend they love. And if you gain five pounds or ten pounds or twenty pounds? Guess what? They still see the woman and friend they love. They don’t think about the weight. They think about how kind you are to them, how welcoming you are, and how attentive you are. They think about how happy, thoughtful, and intelligent you are. They appreciate it when you laugh at their jokes and ask them questions about their life. They love it when you affirm them and encourage them. They really love it when you feed them, too. That’s what people will want from you, Emily: your love, your encouragement, your food. Not for you to look like a supermodel.

And Toby and Chris? The very things you hate about your body are the things they will love. Your curves and softness will be beautiful to both of them. You’re their home. You’re a warm, cozy place where they always can find comfort and love.

‘You are more than a number on a scale’

By the time you are me, you’re not going to look like a girl anymore. You will look like a mother, an old mother.

Or maybe a “mature mother” sounds nicer. Regardless, this look is a good thing! It’s how you’re supposed to look. It’s who you are. The body expresses the person, remember?

And your body at forty-five will say to the world that you are a woman who loves, who is fruitful even though she’s never borne a baby, who is tender and safe, warm and generous. Your eyes will say that. Your smile will say that. Your curves will say that.

by Emily Stimpson Chapman

You will definitely have days when you’re not thrilled with how your body looks. Like . . . today. Between turning 45, all the hormone-altering fertility drugs I took before that and the demands of working from home while raising a baby, I have put on more weight than I care to admit. I miss my pretty clothes that have been hanging in our attic closet for the past two years. I miss seeing myself in pictures and not flinching. I miss my old body.

…When I look at how so many women—you included—hate their feminine curves and long for bodies that are more angular and masculine, I can’t help but feel that he is behind it. It’s like Satan doesn’t only want to stop women from exercising our feminine genius; he also wants to destroy the physical manifestation of it. He wants us to hate the very look of motherhood and associate beauty only with prepubescent barrenness.

I don’t miss my old life though, and honestly, I’m not the least inclined to do anything about the weight anytime soon. There’s no time. And really, there’s no need. I eat well.

I’m still reasonably fit. And nobody cares about my size but me. Not Chris. Not Toby. Not a single friend or family member. Not a single stranger I pass on the street.

More fundamentally, though, Satan wants to distract us. He wants us to waste our time, energy, and emotions on something as insignificant as a number on a scale.

This is what I want you to understand. After you’ve worked through all the other issues contributing to the eating disorder and come out on the other side, please know that nobody but you cares whether you are a size four, a size eight, or a size twelve. Nobody but you is interested in your weight. It is, literally, the least interesting thing about you.

Letters to Myself from the End of the World was written by Emily Stimpson Chapman and published by Emmaus Road in 2021. It is available wherever books are sold. This excerpt was printed with permission from the publisher. Learn more at emmausroad.org.

43

snow day

by Christina Ries

Photos by Heidi Joy, withheidijoy.com, on Instagram @withheidijoy

Somewhere along the line, it was written off. The concept

Children of God trust in the master plan and shake off

of play became relegated to the realm of children, of

worry, getting lost in the moment. They don’t take life too

Legos and dolls, a silly pastime for humans who do not

seriously—or themselves. They make time for leisure—

have to do their taxes.

solo hobbies and joint pursuits. They try new things.

How sorely mistaken we were.

They don’t see life as a checklist. And presented with a

Play is meant for all ages, and research highlights its

fresh snowfall, they hop on that sled and sail away.

wide-ranging benefits: improving brain function, reliev-

“Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” the

ing stress, sparking creativity and deepening connec-

disciples asked Jesus.

tions to others.

His answer was clear: “Amen, I say to you, unless you

Play renews us. It makes us feel more fully alive. Free

turn and become like children, you will not enter the

spirited and open minded. Silly and soulful.

kingdom of heaven.” Let’s go play!

It was embraced by St. John Paul II, the mirthful pontiff whose theology of the body beckons us to our core identity: beloved child of God.

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WINTER 2022

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WINTER 2022

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