Connect 2018 spring women & girls in ministry final2 (2)

SPRING 2018 Spring 2018 • $8.95

Journal of Children, Youth & Family Ministry

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SPRING 2018

PUBLICATION INFORMATION Published by:

ELCA Youth Ministry Network www.elcaymnet.org

CONTENTS Welcome! 4

Bishop Elizabeth Eaton ELCA Women in Leadership 5

Joelle Colville Hanson

#MeToo: Educating the Church on Sexual Trauma 7

Angela Denker

Pastoring While Female 9

Katy Lee

Bible Study: Women in Matthew’s Genealogy 11

Denise Rector Exchanging Walls for Welcome: A Practical Eamination of Relational 13 Intersctionality in the Parish

Jessica Davis

Subscription Information:

call 866-ELCANET (352-2638)

or visit: www.elcaymnet.org connect@elcaymnet.org

Raising Leaders 101: 10 Ways to Cultivate Leadership in Girls 15

Molly Lindberg “Grit and Grace: Heroic Women of the Bible” 17 A Conversation with Author Caryn Rivadeneira

Naomi Krueger The Importance of the Sex Talk—And Beyond

Sarah Condon

Design and Layout:

Michael Sladek

Impression Media Group www.impressionmediagroup.com

Managing Editor:

Erin Gibbons

Connect Editorial Board:

Todd Buegler, Nate Frambach,

Erin Gibbons, Dawn Rundman,

Michael Sladek

Cover Photo:

Michael Sladek www.msladekphoto.com

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UPCOMING CONNECT ISSUE THEMES:

The Politics Issue (Fall ‘18) Scripture, Practice & Why Nobody Wants to do Bible Study Anymore (Winter ‘19)

ELCA YOUTH MINISTRY NETWORK BOARD Becky Cole: Board Member

Sue Megrund: Board Member

Dan Fugate: Board Member

Dr. Jeremy Myers, AIM: Board Member

Rev. Regina Goodrich: Board Member

Tom Schwolert: Board Chairperson

Kinda Makini: Board Member

Rev. Todd Buegler: Executive Director

The ELCA Youth Ministry Network exists to strengthen and empower adult youth ministry leaders in service to Christ as a part of God’s mission.

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WELCOME!

NEWS BITS

Dear friends,

NETWORK NEWS

The spring issue of Connect is dedicated to stories of women. I look forward to the day when it will no longer be necessary to have a women’s history month or dedicated space in publications that highlight the achievements, aspirations, experiences and struggles of women. But we are not there yet. And, until that day when women’s stories are no longer adjunct to men’s, when women are no longer “co-eds” or “co” anything, it is still necessary and important that our stories be told. I am grateful for this opportunity.

Congratulations to Rev. Yehiel Curry, who received the “Tom Hunstad Award for Excellence in Children, Youth and Family Ministry” at the 2018 Extravaganza in Hous-

Here is a bit of my story. I felt the call to word and sacrament ministry when I was a 14-yearold student at Newton D. Baker Junior High School. I told my guidance counselor so, and he responded that the church didn’t ordain women, and that was that. I went off to college and

ton! Pastor Yehiel is the pastor of Shekinah Chapel in Chicago.

became a music education major (in fact, I am certified to teach instrumental music K-12). But campus chaplain was a woman, albeit a Presbyterian, and I saw that there was a place for

16 new “Discipling Cohorts” groups are up and running! These

women in ministry.

groups are focusing on spiritual, vocational

the call kept tugging at me—as it had at church camp and my home parish. My college’s assistant

and skill development, and on creating I was ordained in 1981, 11 years after the LCA ordained Elizabeth Platt and welcomed women

an individualized plan for personal and

to serve as pastors. At clergy gatherings I was usually the only woman in attendance. I remem-

ministry growth. You can jump into a group

ber one pan-Lutheran gathering where a pair of LC-MS pastors stared at me in disbelief and fi-

beginning next winter! More information is

nally got up the nerve to talk to me only to ask, “Do you believe in Jesus Christ?” All too often my male colleagues would say, “You’re not strident like those other women pastors.” I would reply, “I

available at DisciplingCohorts.org.

In this issue you will read the stories of remarkable women living out their baptismal vocation

256 resources have been uploaded by your peers to MartinsList. org, our resource sharing web site! There’s great stuff there! Don’t

as lay people, deacons and pastors. We didn’t say “yes” to God’s call because we wanted to be

forget that as a Network member, you can

trailblazers or pioneers or to make some kind of statement. Trust me, no amount of activist

access these resources by going to Martin-

fervor will get you through a youth lock-in, endless committee meetings or burying a child. We

sList.org and using your Network web site

said “yes” because God’s call was irresistible, because of the joy of serving the gospel, because

username and password to log in!

don’t have to be because they took the brunt of the resistance to women in ministry for me.”

of the great privilege of walking with people as the deep love of Jesus becomes real for them. In these stories you will hear pain and frustration, but also deep satisfaction. I am honored to serve alongside these women.

Are you a Thrivent member? Do you know that you can designate your Thrivent Choice dollars to support the ELCA Youth Ministry Network? Go to Thrivent.com and log in to make the Network your choice!

The Rev. Elizabeth Eaton Presiding Bishop of the ELCA

Box Score: There are currently 1,228 members of the ELCA Youth Ministry Network! You can go to the Network’s web site, and under “directory” get contact info on your friends and peers! Make sure your profile and photo are up to date!

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SPRING 2018

ELCA WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP

by Joelle Colville Hanson

There are as many ways to be a woman leader in the ELCA as there are women leaders in the ELCA. I spoke to a few women to get their insights into what leadership looks like to them.

Bishop Katherine Finegan of the Great Lakes Synod notes that she “never sought to be a good woman pastor.” Rather, she says, “I just wanted to be a good pastor.” When Finegan was coming up through seminary and beginning in her first calls, she was reluctant to call attention to her gender for fear of distracting people from the gospel.

at the gravesite, on the youth trips and at the church potlucks.”

However, she recalls one time when she was at a church meeting, her 4-year-old came running in, and she had to excuse herself to take care of him. When she came back, someone commented, “I think it is so cool that we have a pastor who is also a mom.” That was the first time Finegan had been affirmed in that way.

“It was not only surprising to me, I think it was surprising to them,” she says. “They hadn’t thought about what it would be like to have a pastor who has experienced the same challenges they had as moms.”

President Johnson recalls a conversation with someone who could not reconcile the term president with a woman. I watched the cognitive dissonance happen as she recounted the story. “So you’re a student at the seminary.”

“No, I’m the president.” “Oh, so you teach.” “No, I’m the president.” “So you serve in some kind of staff role.” “Yes, I’m the president.”

Bishop Finegan observes that she is still new in the bishop’s role, and while she expects challenges as one of the few women synod bishops in the ELCA, she doesn’t yet know how they will present themselves, but she doesn’t worry about it. “Right now I see a huge need for effective leadership, from the synod office and from our pastors,” Finegan says. “As our country becomes more divided and we are losing our status as a world leader, and the church as a whole is losing status, we need to model a new kind of leadership that is not about power and status. The church needs to be a safe place for difficult conversations to take place. The church needs to be the place where we can speak to each other in love and in truth.”

Bishop Finegan sees the key to creating a church where difficult conversations take place in the relationships leaders create and sustain. She says, “Pastors don’t speak truthful words in a vacuum. They come out of and are heard in the trust that is built at the deathbed,

When asked if she thinks leadership looks different for women The Rev. Louise Johnson, president of Wartburg Theological Seminary since 2015, observes, “I do think leadership looks different for women. Incarnation matters—which is to say that all of us bring a history of what women do and don’t do into a room, even if we have worked to overcome those presuppositions.”

Many women clergy see this same dissonance when they appear in public in a collar. More than once I’ve shown up at the hospital in full black collar and been asked if I was the patient’s daughter. If you don’t expect to see a woman as the pastor or a seminary president, you will find a different interpretation for the collar or even the plain words, “I am the president.”

Despite this, President Johnson does not let that keep her from her mission. “People say strange things to me all the time that undermine my leadership and authority,” she shares.

But I have noticed that the more I stay rooted in God, in scripture, in prayer, the more able I am to move as if none of that mattered. I think, on the whole, we give others’ remarks about our leadership too much power. Stand on the power of God and let go of the need for validation from human principalities and powers.”

As a bi-vocational leader, simultaneously serving part-time as pastor, developer of Gathered

by Grace and part-time system director of business development for Baptist Health in Montgomery, Alabama, Pastor Tiffany Chaney holds leadership positions both in the church 5

and in the business world.

Like other women leaders, Pastor Chaney has come across challenges both in the church and business world. As a woman of color, these challenges are compounded.

“Many workplaces still demonstrate disparities for women in leadership,” Chaney says.

“For example, there are still congregations in the ELCA who will not consider a woman to serve as their senior pastor; and, on average, women are paid less than their male counterparts. This is consistent with other industries as well. Adding race as a variable further exacerbates this situation—women of color face even more challenges in these areas.”

Pastor Chaney hopes to help change that with her leadership, sharing, “I hope to lead in such a way that breaks down barriers that have kept people on the margins of society away from the church and, instead, create spaces where all people are able to discern the voice of God and respond to God’s call for their lives.”

To women in leadership, Chaney says, “Love God. Love yourself. Love the people you serve…Take care of yourself. Have fun!”

Not all women leaders in the ELCA are clergy.

Jamie Bruesehoff is a writer, speaker and advocate for transgender youth. She writes the blog “I am totally that mom”. While she holds no formal position or title, she is an influential advocate for making the church a safe and welcoming place for transgender youth.

About her unexpected role as a leader, she observes, “I never expected to do the work I do so publicly, but being the parent of a transgender child has shown me just how much work there is to be done to create a church and a world where transgender and non-binary people are safe, loved and celebrated. Sharing our family’s story and all that we’ve learned along the way is the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever had the privilege to do.”

Despite the divergent ways these women experience leadership, the one thing they hold in common is the importance of strong female role models in their lives.

Bishop Finegan grew up in the Missouri Synod. While she did not have women pastors as role models, she had female youth leaders whose leadership had a lasting influence on her. She never forgot their intentionality in creating a place of belonging for youth in the church. “This was so important for an awkward middle schooler that it has always stayed with me. Later, as a youth leader, pastor and now bishop it is important to me to make the church a place where everyone is welcome, everyone has a place at the table.”

President Johnson never doubted that she would end up in a leadership position. She describes her mother and grandmother as formidable, professional women, who fought hard battles. “It never occurred to me that I would not lead,” she says. “My mother says I ran the neighborhood, even as a child.”

Pastor Chaney’s first women role models for leadership were family members. She shares, “I watched my mother serve in leadership roles in the church, which made serving as a

leader in the church seem natural for me. Also, my aunt is an attorney. From a very early age, I wanted to follow in her footsteps. I, ultimately, discerned my career path to be different than hers, but serving as a leader professionally always seemed to be in the range of possibilities for me.”

Pastor Chaney also studies women in leadership around her. “At one point, at the health system where I serve, we simultaneously had women CEOs and CNOs at all three of our hospitals and a woman COO of the health system,” she says. “I observed their personalities and work styles—all different with a different approach to leadership. In the ELCA, I have had the opportunity to serve with leaders like the Rev. Dr Wyvetta Bullock, who I watch navigate conversations and situations, studying varying approaches.”

She has also learned from observing her own daughter model leadership. “Watching my daughter boldly and authentically step into her authentic self has shown me what’s possible when we live into being the people God calls us to be. At 11 years old, she is a role model for myself and so many others as she bravely stands up for her rights and her community,” she shares.

As these women and many others demonstrate, there is no one mold for leadership and how important it is to provide many different kinds of role models for young women and men today, so they can find their own way as authentic and faithful leaders.

Pastor Joelle Colville Hanson is the Director for Evangelical Mission at the Northeastern Iowa

Bruesehoff’s early observations of leadership came from her experiences in outdoor ministry. She says, “Living and learning in camp communities where young women leaders were valued and lifted up at every level impacted me deeply. They showed me what was possible and continually inspired me to be my best self.”

On March 6, we posed this question to the ELCA Clergy Facebook Group:

Synod of the ELCA. She has been a pastor for more than 30 years. She has two grown children and more cats than she cares to reveal.

“I prefer to be called (and known as) a pastor, not a lady pastor, not a woman pastor, not a female pastor—a pastor.” Pastor Michelle Rowell

What is one thing you wish people knew about being a woman in ministry?

“The fact that you know another pastor who is female will not make it any more likely that I know her than any other pastor.” Pastor Michelle Rowell

Within a few hours, dozens of women had responded. A week later, women had posted over 200 comments. Some spoke of their unique gifts and deep sense of call. A few were LOL posts. But many more shared stories of challenges.

A few major themes emerged, including how their names and titles were used (or not), comments and expectations about their physical appearance and the sexism they faced at every level. The Connect Journal editorial team offers deep gratitude to the women who chose to share their stories with us. We wish we could print all of them.

“If a congregation has a negative experience with a male pastor, they will look for a different male pastor.

If a congregation has a negative experience with a female pastor, they will refuse to interview women.

I wish this wasn’t still true, but I have seen it as a call consultant.” Pastor Robin Owen Continued on page 10 6

SPRING 2018

#METOO: EDUCATING THE CHURCH ON SEXUAL TRAUMA

by Angela Denker For nearly 30 years, Dr. Sara Mize, a clinical psychologist who specializes in human sexuality and trauma, has been hearing women’s stories. The women—and it’s almost always women—sometimes speak haltingly, sometimes passionately. Some of them are telling their story for the very first time—women in their 50s and 60s who have buried secrets deep inside themselves.

Dr. Mize hears their stories. She believes them. And slowly, carefully, patiently, kindly, they work toward healing, and—Mize’s preferred word—thriving.

It is stories like these, told to Mize for decades, that broke open the American consciousness of sexual abuse toward women in the 21st century. Activist and sexual assault survivor Tarana Burke coined the phrase “me, too” in 2006, to begin to speak out and help particularly women of color who had suffered sexual abuse.

Eleven years later, on October 5, 2017, celebrated actress Ashley Judd accused media mogul Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault, in a breaking news story published by the “New York Times.” Weinstein’s sexual misbehavior toward women was somewhat of an open secret in Hollywood; it was later made public, though Judd’s truth-telling would be the decisive step in a new movement of female empowerment.

Ten days after Judd’s story broke, actress Alyssa Milano reignited the MeToo movement, tweeting: “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted, write ‘me too’ as a reply to this thread.”

Social media pages across America lit up with #MeToo. From Olympic gymnasts to Hollywood actresses to politicians, long-held secret stories of trauma were being told. In November, women came forward to the “Washington Post” with stories of sexual assault against

them as teenagers by Republican Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore, who would later lose his statewide race in a stunning upset by Democrat Doug Jones.

Comedian Louis C.K. confirmed a “New York Times” report about his own sexual misconduct toward fellow female comedians. “Prairie Home Companion” star and celebrated Minnesota writer Garrison Keillor was fired from Minnesota Public Radio due to accusations of sexual harassment and misconduct.

Minnesota Senator Al Franken (D-Minn.), resigned from the Senate in light of accusations of sexual harassment and misconduct.

“Time” magazine chose as its person of the year: The Silence Breakers, voices that launched the #MeToo movement, including Burke, Judd, Milano and even singer Taylor Swift.

Perhaps the only body not quite coming to terms with the consequences of #MeToo was the church.

On January 7, a Memphis megachurch gave a 30-second standing ovation to its teaching pastor Andy Savage. The ovation wasn’t unusual in and of itself. What was unusual was that Andy Savage had just admitted to a “sexual incident” with one of his youth group students almost exactly 20 years earlier, at his first congregation in the Woodlands, Texas.

Jules Woodson, who was then a high school senior and 17 years old, was in Savage’s youth group. She shared her story on Jan.uary 5, 2017, a month after receiving no reply to an email she’d sent to Savage remembering the night he—in Woodson’s words—drove her to an isolated location and coerced her into sexual activity.

January 5 wasn’t the first time Woodson had shared her story. Shortly after the incident,

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she shared with her church small group, and later her lead pastor, who asked—in Woodson’s words: “So you participated?”

Savage was later allowed to resign, while rumors of what had happened spread around the church: The most likely was that Savage and Woodson had kissed. A party was held in Savage’s honor, and Savage went on to hold pastoral positions at churches across the South, coming to Highpoint Church in Memphis and helping plant the congregation with lead pastor Chris Conlee.

At church that January morning, there was grace and forgiveness for Savage from his congregation, but there was little empathy for Woodson, and little sense justice had been served. Instead, Conlee expressed his regret that Woodson “hadn’t been healed” in the way Savage had been.

In Savage’s telling, he was exalted—a mistake, an incident, before he was married, he prayed about it, he was healed from it—and Woodson was diminished. It didn’t matter much that Savage had abused his power as a church leader or that he’d coerced a minor or that he’d covered it up.

The story of Highpoint Church made national news because it exemplifies the many ways churches can—and have—handled sexual abuse in unhealthy, damaging and ultimately un-Godly ways. They have often shamed and diminished the personhood of sexual trauma survivors, particularly women, while striving to maintain the dignity and personhood of perpetrators—often male clergy. This is a story not just of megachurches or of the well-publicized Catholic priest abuse cases, but of all churches. Many churches—and pastors—don’t know how to talk about sexual abuse, much less confront it in their own communities.

That’s where Dr. Mize comes in.

Mize, a member of Edina Community Lutheran Church in Edina, Minnesota, says there is hope for churches in light of the #MeToo movement.

“I think the increased awareness is fabulous and wonderful. It allows people to have more of a voice, and to see themselves and their experiences in a way they may not have before,” she says. “I think that’s really huge. There’s such a wide range of sexual trauma.”

Mize recalls the experience of women across America as the #MeToo movement first began.

Do I fit? Is that me?

Oh my gosh, that is me.

As more and more women recount their experiences of gender inequality, harassment and abuse, Mize finds hopefulness in the increasing scientific study of trauma and the way it impacts the body and brain. When she meets with women who’ve experienced sexual trauma, Mize can help them walk through patterns in their lives, many of which result from earlier sexual trauma and abuse.

She emphasizes that each person’s response to trauma is individual and cannot be generalized, but she sees some frequent challenges: depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, addictions, contemplating suicide, and relationship disturbance.

It can be difficult for trauma survivors to trust themselves, others, the world and even God. Having experienced a devastating breach of trust—in most cases, sexual trauma occurs in the midst of a previously-trusting relationship—trauma survivors are sometimes compelled to create small, controlled worlds for themselves, ensuring they’ll never be vulnerable or hurt again, always on guard against what Mize calls “the tiger in the room.”

Through various therapeutic treatments, trauma survivors can examine their own patterns, and begin to move out of unhealthy or destructive patterns into ones that feel more

trusting and yet still secure. The first step toward thriving and healing, Mize emphasizes, is that sexual trauma survivors are believed, from the beginning. “When they aren’t believed,” Mize says, “it’s so damaging. It’s almost like a second trauma.”

When sexual trauma survivors tell their story and are disbelieved, the feelings of mistrust in their world are elevated, reiterating for them that no one is there to protect them, and the world is a scary, dangerous and evil place.

The world of sexual trauma and abuse is a scary, dangerous and evil place, far from Garden of Eden that God intended, and far from the place where Jesus’ love shines—the ideal community of the church.

While the church’s history in ministering to and providing a safe place for sexual trauma survivors is a dark and devastating tale, there is hope for ministry leaders and all in the church who want to move down a different path.

Mize talks about the ways her own Christian faith—her father was a Lutheran pastor—impacts her in her work with sexual trauma survivors. She shares about being taught Jesus’ compassion for all people, especially for people who might be cast out or ignored in the world, the way many survivors of sexual trauma have been in the past.

Mize also lifts up the idea of theology of the cross, that God’s power is often at work most powerfully when the world seems at its most dark. Sometimes her work with trauma survivors brings Mize into stories of unspeakable evil, unbearable betrayal and horrific abuse of power and authority. She says what keeps her from dwelling in despair is her trust that the same God who was powerfully present in the horror of Jesus’ death on the cross is the same God who is and will be powerfully present in the healing and redemption of survivors of sexual abuse.

“Sometimes people avoid (telling their story) for so long because it’s so dark,” Mize says.

“My goal is to give them a safe place to go into

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that darkness, so there is hope if we lean in and go there, we can come out with a different understanding.”

One of the best ways to begin to change the church’s legacy on sexual abuse and trauma is to start with what Mize calls “repair work.”

She recommends taking new steps with new generations, such as the sexuality retreats that her church’s middle and high school students and their parents attend each year.

The most important repair work for the church may be in simply repenting for past wrongs. “The church needs to hold itself accountable for turning a blind eye,” Mize says. “We need to acknowledge that this has happened and make a statement and a plan for how we continue this process. It won’t happen in a few years, but the church can make use of the research that’s out there, to educate people on trauma research and design protocols for how to address abuse.”

Most importantly, perhaps—believe the women.

The Rev. Angela Denker is a former sportswriter turned Lutheran pastor, writer, speaker--and full-time mom of two little boys--based in Minneapolis. Denker is a contributor to various publications, including The Washington Post, Sports Illustrated, Red Letter Christians, and Living Lutheran.

Her forthcoming book, Red State Christians: Meet the Voters who elected Donald Trump, will be published

by Fortress Press in 2019.

Denker blogs at A Good Christian Woman ... Not that One, where she tries to share Jesus’ love and refute the rumors about women, Christians, motherhood, and Jesus.

SPRING 2018

PASTORING WHILE FEMALE

by Katy Lee “Well, about women in ministry: there is this very clear scripture here in Ephesians, and here’s one from 1 Corinthians…”

I knew where this was going. I cringed.

I was in a youth ministry class in college (what, your college didn’t have Evangelism 101? Foundations of Youth Ministry? Biblical Hermeneutics?), which I thought would be more progressive in the world of female Christian leadership. Granted, I went to Wheaton College, flagship of modern evangelicalism.

Also, at the time, I was barely certain women should be lead pastors. (Apparently, I told that to one of my female pastors from my home church. I said that, to her face. I don’t remember it. We all say things when we are 18 we regret). I also was terrified of public speaking, so I was not exactly pining for a pulpit and not at the front lines of the fight. But still, I was shocked and surprised that my female classmates were so opinionated against women in ministry. After all, what else were they doing in a youth ministry class? So they could be a well-informed Sunday school teacher? Looking to meet and marry a male youth pastor? Don’t they know how much youth pastors make in a year? Why are they not in Political Science 101 if they want an “M.R.S.” degree?

People ask me all the time when it was I experienced a call to ministry, when I knew this was God’s plan for me. I like to laugh and joke, “I don’t even know right NOW if I’m called to ministry!” which makes people laugh along nervously. I am three and a half years into an associate pastor gig in Rochester, Minnesota, which I love desperately. You couldn’t pay me enough to leave this job. (Well, if you have a BOAT-load of money, let’s talk.) But growing up, my mother was an artist and musician, my father an engineer, and when they asked me what I wanted to do for a career on our daily walks, I often simply cried. I’ve never had a sudden clear revelation of what I’m “supposed to be” doing. If I was in a good mood I might have said that I wanted to volunteer a lot at church, maybe research sermons for big church pastors, be the one to pick the songs that go into movie trailers, write books like C.S. Lewis, shop at farmers markets and bike

everywhere. I knew a lot about what I liked about the world—which was basically everything to do with people—but very little about what or who might pay me to do something in the world. I really liked Jesus and church camp.

I liked art and the outdoors and pretty much everything else other people told me about, except science, because the classrooms were cold and smelled like frozen dead things. What kind of job is good for someone who likes everything a little bit, and nothing in particular?

went to seminary because I was depressed and directionless after graduating college, and still had a hunger for learning theology, philosophy and Christian ethics. I worked at churches during seminary because it was a scholastic requirement—plus, my friends were all doing it—and I fell in love with my social justice-centered, powerhouse of a church.

I wonder now if my anxiety around “call” would have been different if I identified as male, especially as a confident bro. I saw pastors and youth pastors around me who identified as female—I was very close to my female youth pastor—but they were clearly in the minority, which looked like a stressful and uphill battle. I was a young, quiet girl with an anxiety disorder. How could I be an up-front leader?

My Baptist summer camps were complementarian, so I wasn’t even sure God wanted me to be an up-front leader. And while my family was supportive, pursuing a career in ministry does not promise a lot of money or job security in our increasingly spiritual-but-not-religious culture. Lots of people spent a few hours at church a week, for free. Maybe I should just do that and then get paid to do a “real” job, like nursing or teaching.

But my leap from college to seminary also had the biggest hurdles on my path because of my female-ness. The conservative church I worked for after college told me I didn’t need to go to seminary to work for the church, and in fact maybe it wasn’t a good idea, because it might corrupt my faith. My college advisor (ironically, female) told me to go into business instead, because we need less Christians in graduate school and more in the workplace.

When I finally went before my home church’s leadership board to get their endorsement for the start of my ordination process, five years after that youth ministry class, my dad was in the room while I told them about my faith journey. When we walked out, he quietly admitted he was amazed and surprised at how challenging the road had been for me. For him, as a man, you decide to do something, and you just do it. For me, it was years of overcoming mental blocks and societal perceptions about who I was and what I should be doing.

My path to seminary was not revealed to me clearly in a vision or a dream, nor was I clearly gifted with pastoral skills from birth; I simply followed the monkey breadcrumb trail of things that I loved step by step. My high school boyfriend’s dad was a theology professor, so I had many long dinner conversations about higher Christian education, and I wanted more than what my public high school was teaching me about God (AKA nothing). In college, I became a biblical and theological studies major because the youth ministry department was too conservative, and I became fascinated by religiosity on a summer semester in Israel.

I applied to become a student chaplain in because my friends said I did a good job giving the opening prayer for a chapel service one day. I found I was less scared of public speaking when I was praying because people were supposed to close their eyes while I spoke. I

My time in seminary was respite from gender issues: about 50 percent of seminarians at Princeton Theological Seminary are female.

Moving back to the Midwest, though, brought up the “female pastor” issue more than I expected. On the East Coast, people don’t think twice about a female pastor, or even a queer pastor. In Minnesota, however, I introduced myself to a local summer camp owner and told him that in fact our whole pastoral staff at our church is female, and he laughed loudly.

I get cat-called, which never happened to me before moving to this small midwestern city; I hate that as a local pastor I really shouldn’t cuss those boys out or flip them the bird, but I want to. A local online troll told me my short skirts bring in extra money for the church. I’ve been called the “hot pastor” (super professional). I’ve been told on a Sunday morning that my hair looks unkempt.

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#Metoo is real. There are challenges to being female, especially in majority male industries.

But there are unique issues for all pastors who have bodies (which is everyone, last time I checked). All are stereotyped as male, female, large, small, conventionally attractive or not, and that can help or hinder ministry. Being a young pastor and living in a small city brings challenges too. Thankfully, a lot of things are easy to laugh off. The day before we confirmed my first class of students, I ran into one of my students and her mom, both naked—not in a compromising way, we were in the locker room at the gym. Wouldn’t you know it, in a room of hundreds of lockers, my temporary locker was immediately next to one occupied by a ninth-grade girl in my confirmation class?

I run into church members out on dates, or in a bar, or out dancing. People don’t expect their pastor to be in such intimate places in their lives, or that she would have a romantic life (plenty of people ask me, “so, are you like, a nun?”), so there is plenty of awkwardness to go around.

But being a female pastor is also incredibly delightful. Due to our terrible American culture of toxic masculinity, some people feel safer with me as a female pastor than they would with a man. People tend to not expect much from me—and certainly are not expecting much from the church right now—so when I turn up in town and speak up, confident and spitfire and caring, I love feeling that I have likely changed someone’s mind and someone’s perception about the body of Christ. Being different opens certain doors and catches attention in ways that are sometimes troubling, but more often refreshing, especially for those who have been burned by the old ways of church. To start something new, it helps to embody something new.

God has secret challenges for us to accomplish, that we are supposed to work hard to uncover, like scratching the gunk off lottery tickets, that it was possible for us to get it very, very wrong. But now I think more along the lines of the poem from Spanish poet Antonio Machado: “Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more; wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.” The path has not been free and easy, but I believe our Mother and Father God, who made us all in her image, is faithful and good and present on the way, and I’m so thankful.

This year will mark 10 years since that youth ministry class—good riddance. This year is also the year that I officially get ordained, on June 1. I used to worry about where I was going, how to follow Jesus the right way, how to walk perfectly on God’s path, what it means for me to be called into ministry. I used to believe that

“It is not ok to pat me or touch me, call me sweetie or assume I don’t have time to be a pastor because I have to ‘babysit’ my kids.” Pastor Meredith Williams

Katy Lee grew up in the Twin Cities in Minnesota.

As a young person she developed a huge love for church camp, softball, the Minnesota State Fair, and Weezer. Now she lives in Rochester, MN with her two stray cats and works on staff at Christ United Methodist Church.

“Whenever people react to me in a negative way, in addition to all the other questions I have to ask myself, I always also have to ask if it’s because I’m a woman. Just having to ask this question takes a tiny bit of energy, every single time, and it adds up. People often will unconsciously use less formal forms of address for female pastors. (For example, in my first call, I was ‘Sarah’ or ‘Pastor Sarah.’ I was never ‘Pastor Taylor’ or just ‘Pastor,’ although my male colleague got both of those all the time.) It usually isn’t done on purpose, but the cumulative effect can be significant. It’s worth observing your own habits to see if you are doing this, even if you know you would never do it on purpose.” Pastor Sarah Taylor

“Just because I lead differently than a male it doesn’t mean that I am not a leader. I prefer to ‘walk with,’ not with authoritarianism. (Also) I don’t have dress like a male or wear dumpy clothes in order to be pastor.”

Pastor Christi L. Pursey “Rural ministry can be very isolating for many reasons: conservative churches that don’t ordain women, communities with little experience with women pastors, distance from resources. It is important to find local clergy, especially women clergy, to connect with. It is also important to ‘get out of town’ for your Sabbath and time off.” Pastor Denise Fossen

“Being a woman in ministry, I might do things differently, say things differently, feel things differently than my male colleague. Having said that, I know that I am called to preach, to teach and to reach all of God’s people using the gifts God gave me. I am made beautifully and perfectly in God’s image.” Pastor Chon Pugh

“Men talk over me at meetings and others allow them to do so. Being acknowledged as a pastor other than a female pastor would be nice.” Pastor Sherry Poole Teves 10

Continued on page 12

SPRING 2018

BIBLE STUDY: WOMEN IN MATTHEW’S GENEALOGY

by Denise Rector Before diving into this study on women in the Bible, consider these questions to gauge your current thoughts about how the Bible treats females and female-ness: How do you feel about the Bible being set in times where patriarchy was normal? Where do we see patriarchy as normal, or as abnormal, today?

Do you have any favorite stories about women from the Old Testament, or from the New Testament?

PART I: GENEALOGY AND PATRIARCHY If you’ve flipped through the early parts of the Old Testament, you might have seen what I like to call the “begats”: long lists of genealogy. For example, in Genesis 5, we see a list of all the people born after Adam. (The English of the King James version says that Adam “begat” Seth and Seth “begat” Enoch. You may be using a translation that says something more like “Adam became the father of Seth,” and so on.)

This seems like pretty skippable scripture—a really long list of people that we do not hear much about other than their name. So, why is this part of the Bible?

Genealogy was a critical aspect of social and religious life in biblical times. What family you were from determined your rank in society, what type of work was available to you, and what inheritance or benefits (if any) you would receive. Because societies in the Bible were patriarchal, genealogy was recorded in a patrilinear fashion, through the father (“pater” means “father”).

There are many genealogies in the Old Testament, and when Matthew began writing his Gospel, the very first thing he did was start listing “begats.” Matthew did this in order to prove who Jesus is. Matthew used the tradition of genealogy to connect Jesus to Adam and, therefore, to God. However, a close look at Matthew’s genealogy shows that all of the people listed in the genealogy are not men. This would certainly have caused a stir among Matthew’s first-century

hearers and readers. Why would an established tradition in a patriarchal society deviate from a patrilineal genealogy? And what does this teach us about Jesus?

Matthew’s genealogy introduces us to three Old Testament women: Tamar (verse 3), Rahab and Ruth (verse 5). We will spend some time looking at each of their stories and afterward consider some of the similarities among the three women.

Read Matthew 1:1-17 out loud.

PART II: A LOOK AT TAMAR The first woman that Matthew includes in the genealogy of Jesus is Tamar. Interestingly, there are two Tamars in the Bible, and both stories may be shocking to find in scripture.

The Tamar cited by Matthew is the Tamar of Genesis 38 who was the daughter-in-law of Judah. (Tamar in 2 Samuel was the daughter of King David). The conduct we will read about is certainly taboo and possibly even criminal by today’s standards. So, while reading, keep in mind the norms of biblical society and how they differ from today.

Judah’s wife Shua had three sons: Er, Onan and Shelah. As mentioned in Part I, biblical societies are patrilinear. So it was very important for Judah’s sons to produce male heirs. But when Judah’s first son dies, Judah’s plans go awry and he asks his second son, Onan, to produce an heir with his widowed sister-in-law.

Read Genesis 38:1-11. What happened to Er? How did Onan handle Judah’s request to sleep with Tamar?

Tamar realized that as a widow in a patriarchal society, she had no chance to produce heirs at all, so she decided on an extreme measure: to produce an heir with her father-in law.

Read Genesis 38:13-19. What is your reaction to Tamar’s plan? Why would Tamar ask for the ring of the man she slept with?

Read Genesis 38:24-26. Do you think Judah treated Tamar fairly in the end? Why or why not?

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Read Genesis 38:27-30 and compare it with Matthew 1:3. What are some of the positive associations you have about Tamar? What are some of the negative associations you have about Tamar?

PART III: A LOOK AT RAHAB The story of Rahab takes place in chapters 2 and 6 of Joshua. We meet Rahab when Joshua sends two spies to Jericho, which is in the promised land the God gave to the Israelites.

Rahab was not an Israelite and is clearly identified in the Bible as a prostitute. Nevertheless, she and the Israelites were able to help each other.

Read Joshua 2:1-7. What two things did Rahab do to help the spies?

After helping the spies, Rahab made a surprising confession. Rahab freely confessed her belief in the Lord God even though she was not an Israelite! This is why she helped Joshua’s spies escape the guards from Jericho.

Read Joshua 2:8-21. What were some of the specific reasons Rahab gave for helping the spies? What did Rahab and the spies agree on?

What might have happened if Rahab didn’t help the spies?

Because of Rahab’s help, the spies were able to return to Joshua with an encouraging report on the plans for the invasion. Preparations for invasion continued, which we read about in Joshua 3–5, and the Israelites conquered and destroyed Jericho and its inhabitants, as recounted in Joshua 6. Because Rahab was saved from the destruction, she becomes mother to Boaz (Boaz’s father is Salmon, one of the spies she sheltered), whom we will meet along with Ruth in Part IV. Read Joshua 6:22-25 and compare to Matthew 1:5. What are some of the positive associations you have about Rahab? What are some of the negative associations you have about Rahab? How do these compare with your positive and negative associations about Tamar?

PART IV: A LOOK AT RUTH There is one more woman from the Old Testament who had an impact on Jesus’ genealogy: Ruth. Her story takes place in the book of Ruth.

Ruth was the daughter-in-law of Naomi and the sister-in-law of Orpah. All three women were Moabites, married to Israelite men.

Tragically, the husbands of all three women died during a famine, leaving them vulnerable as widows. Naomi decided to try to go to Bethlehem and survive and urged her grieving daughters-in-law to return to their mothers’ houses. But Ruth refused.

Read Ruth 1:8-17. What pledge did Ruth make to Naomi? What would you have done if you were Ruth?

In Ruth 2, we meet Boaz from Part II. Remember that Boaz would not exist if it were not for Rahab, and that Boaz was an Israelite because his father was an Israelite. Also in chapter 2, we learn about the practice of gleaning. The Israelites were commanded to leave grain at the edges of their field, instead of picking it all, so that the poor could glean from the edges of the crops for food (Leviticus 19:9-10).

Ruth and Naomi, having no men to provide for them, were poor. Ruth found a grain field—the field belonged to wealthy Boaz—and gleaned.

Boaz instructed his workers to not bother Ruth as she collected grain for herself and elderly Naomi, so Ruth returned again and

again. When Ruth told Naomi about Boaz (Ruth 2:19-23), Naomi realized that Boaz was related to her late husband and she came up with a plan.

As mentioned in Part I, men could claim inheritances, benefits and responsibilities based on of the societal norms of the time. This meant that Boaz, an Israelite, could assume responsibility for (or “redeem”) an otherwise destitute female relative by taking her as his wife.

Naomi suggested that Ruth approach Boaz with this in mind (Ruth 3:6-13).

In Ruth 4 we see the workings of the tradition of redeeming as Boaz holds a discussion with the other men in town. At the end of chapter 4, note how important genealogy is to this story.

Read Ruth 4:9-22. What blessings do the townspeople give the marriage of Boaz and Ruth? Why do you think they chose those blessings? What names from earlier in this study reappear in these verses? What are your positive and negative connotations about Ruth? How do they compare or contrast to your earlier thoughts about Tamar and Rahab?

families from desperate times, going so far as to commit taboo acts to further their progeny.

Jesus was sinless. But can we say the same for the people listed in Matthew’s genealogy of Jesus? It is truly amazing to consider the grace and mercy that God has shown these lessthan-perfect women. By seeing their actions in the lineage of our Lord and Savior, perhaps we can accept God’s grace and mercy in our lives and share it with others!

As you conclude your study of these scripture readings, consider these questions: Why might God have used these women’s actions to form the genealogy of Jesus? Have your feelings about Tamar, Rahab or Ruth changed as a result of this Bible study? Why or why not? Do you think it is important to include women’s stories in the Bible? Why or why not? What about stories of less-than-perfect people? Is there a difficult situation in which you can consider extending grace, or that you might look at differently, after this Bible study?

PART V: POSITIVES, NEGATIVES AND THE GENEALOGY OF JESUS We have explored several chapters in the Old Testament looking at the stories of Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth. Their lives were far from perfect. They hatched plans and came up with strategies to save themselves and their

“If I’m the only pastor in the office and someone comes in looking for ‘Pastor,’ many people choose to come back when the senior pastor is in the office.”

Pastor Megan Clapp

Denise Rector is a final year Master of Divinity student at Wartburg Theological Seminary. In the fall she will begin doctoral studies at Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago.

A native of Kansas City, Missouri, she currently lives in Dubuque, Iowa. Her interests include education and baseball.

“Expect to be undervalued and underappreciated. Then do whatever you can to change that for the next generation of women leaders.” Pastor Catherine Malotky “And unfortunately (being undervalued and underappreciated) goes double for CYF workers, deacons and other folks who are not pastors—probably for some of the same reasons. Work that has historically been done mostly by women tends to be undervalued.”

Pastor Sarah Taylor

“That other women will be your biggest obstacle, unfortunately.” Rev. Chryll D. Crews “We are extremely grateful for all those who’ve gone before us blazing the path. While we are still a minority, we continue on in their tracks to endure, persist and thrive.”

Pastor Erin Lynn Gullickson

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SPRING 2018

EXCHANGING WALLS FOR WELCOME: A PRACTICAL EXAMINATION OF RELATIONAL INTERSECTIONALITY IN THE PARISH

by Jessica Davis

“For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility.” —Ephesians 2:14 “There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle, because we do not live single-issue lives.” —Audre Lorde

Developed by Black feminist scholars such as Bell Hooks and Audra Lorde in the 60s and 70s, and systematized by civil rights activist and feminist legal scholar Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw in the 80s, intersectional theory posits that while legal, political and other social systems may treat aspects of the human condition like gender, race, age, sexual orientation and disability as separate entities, in reality, all of these aspects are inextricably and complexly interwoven. Intersectional theory further suggests that in order to understand the human condition, we must look at how these aspects of identity exist in relationship not just within individuals, but within communities and the entire human race.

Intersectional theory impacts every aspect of our lives where power differentials exist. All of us, every individual and community, are Venn diagrams of overlapping privilege and vulnerability. Because churches are organizations where we endeavor to invite people to bring their whole selves, awareness of intersectional concerns is paramount. As Christian educators and faith formation professionals who have been blessed with the opportunity to observe, inform and challenge the ways in which people grow in relationship with God and one another across the age span, we are in a unique position to assist parishes in actively working to be places where we all, individually and collectively, can engage in the types of radical welcome that Jesus models for us.

For Lutherans in particular, our focus on becoming theologians of the cross calls us even more powerfully into this mission. The Jesus who died for us is not a single-issue savior. The brown, poor, refugee, frequently homeless enemy of the state who lived, died and rose

for us was the purest embodiment of what I refer to as the “them too God”—this creator, redeemer and sustainer who constantly causes scandal by extending welcome to the very people excluded by those in power.

So how does that translate to communal lived experience? How do we engage in the work required to help parishes step into the process of becoming truly welcoming to the messiness and beauty, celebration and strife, illness and incarnation that are inevitable when we invite people to bring their whole selves to bear on our lives together as the body of Christ? The process is complex and the needs of every community are different, but in my work as a Christian educator, pastoral counselor and coconspirator with the #decolonizeLutheranism movement, I have noted some common tools and processes that may be of assistance. First and foremost, among these is making specific efforts to observe for the intersectional needs and identities represented in the parish and local community. To this end, I recommend regular periods of intentional observation that focus on the following: 1. Examine how your parish does and does not look like your local community, figure out why this is, placing an emphasis on the most vulnerable populations.

How are the demographics of your congregation different from those of the surrounding community? If your surrounding community is 60 percent Caucasian, but your parish is 95 percent Caucasian, there are reasons for that.

If your community, like most, has a populace where 15-20 percent of its members are disabled, yet you are only aware of two disabled people in your parish, there are reasons for that. Examining who is actually represented in your parish and community and becoming aware of any disconnects can be painful, but it is crucial to providing authentic welcome. This part of the process may take a year or more to engage in earnest, but it’s worth it.

The best resource for understanding why particular groups of people can’t or won’t attend your parish—or do attend, but are 13

not comfortable sharing certain parts of their identities—is the people themselves.

Start with those who are already there. For example, speak with your members who are openly LGBTQIA+ and ask them, “We want to be sure that this is a place where all people feel truly welcomed, and I notice that we have far less LGBTQIA+ people attending that we might expect, given the demographics of our local community. I wonder if you have any insights as to why that is?” Ask these sorts of questions of all of the marginalized groups in your community who are under-represented in your parish. Provide safe spaces for frank and honest feedback, remembering that these individuals and families are putting themselves at risk by providing you with that information. Set clear expectations about who will be given access to it, what it will be used for, and a potential timeline on when they can expect action to be taken on their concerns.

If there are vulnerable populations in your community that are not represented at all in your congregation, you will need to go outside of your doors to gain access to crucial information about why they may not feel welcome.

Though the impulse to simply say “Oh, ____ people just don’t want to go to our church” is understandable, I urge congregations to carefully listen to the people of color or other vulnerable communities in their region to find out why that’s so. Why do particular groups of people feel that your church isn’t a place they want go to be in loving Christian community?

One of the best ways to gain reliable information about these types of disconnects in communities is to speak with community organizers from the marginalized groups in question (and pay them for their time and labor).

This information-gathering process will be painful; there’s no getting around that. Staff and councils will need to work together and be very intentional about structuring conversations so that the safety and welfare of vulnerable people is the primary concern. They will need to share the information they obtain in ways that protect the identities of the vulnerable, and they will need to guide difficult con-

versations where defensiveness and shame abound. It is hard to discover that there may be scores of vulnerable people inside your congregation and in the wider community who don’t feel that your church is safe or welcoming to the fullness of who they truly are. But the good news of the gospel is that the radical and transformative love of God in Christ is ever with us as we engage in this holy work.

2. Articulate the power structures in your congregation, and determine if they are best for your community’s needs.

Most ELCA congregations have a pyramidal power structure, where clergy have the most institutional power, followed by other staff members, then the church council, then church committees, then “everyone else.” Whatever the power structure of your congregation is, say it out loud and put it on paper. Then examine if those structure(s) and requirements for moving from one level to the next actually meet your congregation’s needs. For example, if council membership is restricted to confirmed members only, yet more than half of your congregation is unconfirmed, this requirement may be unreasonable. It is inevitable and, indeed, healthy that organizations have structures in place for how decisions are made and which voices are given the most weight, but it is also essential that Christian communities are transparent about those structures and whether they are increasing or diminishing a community’s ability to fulfill its gospel mission.

3. Notice the unwritten/unspoken power dynamics within your community.

Just as every church community has written rules about who gets how much power and why, there are also scores of unwritten rules about the same thing. There will be rules that everybody knows, but nobody says out loud.

For example, everybody in your congregation might “know” that altar guild is “only for women.” They don’t need to say it out loud for people of other genders with an inter-

est in altar guild service to know that they’re unwelcome. Everybody in your congregation might “know” that children aren’t welcome to serve on any committees or that child care is “always” to be provided by the women in the parish, even if it’s not written down anywhere.

Maybe it’s generally accepted that boys will make noise in church, but girls get the side-eye from members of the congregation for causing any kind of disruption.

There will also be unwritten rules that nobody, or only a few people, notice. For example, if important committee meetings happen in a part of your building that is not accessible to people with certain types of physical disabilities, your congregation (likely unknowingly) has set in place a restriction that only able-bodied persons are allowed to serve in this way. Start to notice who speaks the most and when, particularly with regard to gender and age differences. Do your team meetings reflect those in the corporate world—where women and femme people speak less than 30 percent of the time, yet are perceived as having dominated the conversation? Perhaps your church has supported an Eagle Scout, but what about a Girl Scout working toward her Gold Award?

Notice what groups of people are included in your liturgy. How is it decided who is welcome to serve in what types of liturgical roles? How often are the specific needs and gifts of trans people, or disabled people, or incarcerated people invoked from the pulpit? Do their stories come up in the lectionary? These are just a few of the ways that attention can be paid to addressing intersectional needs. As you gain more practice, and speak to more people, you will become more and more aware of places where unspoken power differentials exist.

Of course, once all of this data has been gathered, there comes the question of what to do with it. How do we actually do the necessary work of letting people know that

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the most vulnerable parts of themselves are welcome, needed and celebrated in our midst? The answers to that will vary greatly based on particular needs, but they will always come from the people who are at the bottom of power differentials. Children will tell us how to make our congregation welcoming to children. People of color will tell us how to make our congregation welcoming to people of color, and so on. Some of the interventions they name will take an hour. Some will take three years. But when we truly take the time, and invest the love, care, self-reflection and sometimes money and physical resources that it requires to faithfully engage this work, we open up the possibility that we might truly begin to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, and live in harmony with one another.” (Romans 12:15)

Jessica Davis is a Lutheran-Episcopal hybrid who is a pastoral counselor and Christian educator.

She serves as a chaplain/ educator for #decolonizeLutheranism, and provides freelance services as a writer, editor, musician, and church consultant. When not engaged in churchly pursuits, she’s usually making music or indulging her makeup obsession.

SPRING 2018

RAISING LEADERS 101: 10 WAYS TO CULTIVATE LEADERSHIP IN GIRLS

by Molly Lindberg It would be great if this article wasn’t necessary—if as a culture we encouraged leadership in all children from a young age. However, there is a disparity in the way our culture encourages girls and boys in their development as people and leaders. Therefore it is important for us to recognize this disparity and set about to change it, remembering that girls can make great leaders, but they might need a little extra encouragement to see themselves in leadership roles.

With this in mind, I am suggesting a short list of everyday things we can do to support girls as they discover and explore their capacities as leaders, helping them to hone these skills from a young age and grow as leaders with the support of the church. I have been lucky enough to know many wonderful women leaders in my life, and I have learned a lot from them. My mom is a pastor, and I grew up in churches with great female leaders to look up to and emulate. They helped me and coached me to cultivate my own leadership skills, and I have used every opportunity working with girls to help them do the same.

All of these tips are things that stimulated my own development as a leader and as someone who cares about raising up other leaders.

I firmly believe that women and girls make great leaders, and I want to do what I can to help girls see themselves as leaders from a young age. This is a short list of very practical steps we can all take to encourage the girls in our lives to realize their potential as leaders and to take on the responsibility and pride that comes with leadership roles in the church and elsewhere in their lives.

1. LISTEN. It sounds simple, but one of the best things you can do to encourage girls to be leaders is to listen to their concerns, dreams, and goals. Being heard encourages girls to continue speaking out and shows them that their voices are appreciated by others.

Practice active listening, put down your phone, be attentive and ask thoughtful questions. Encourage girls to think through their responses and give them time to do so. The goal of listen-

ing is to help girls continue talking and sharing, letting them know that the risk of proposing an idea can be valuable instead of frightening.

2. REMIND THEM THEY MATTER. Just like everyone else, girls need to know that their opinions and thoughts matter and that they can make a difference. In our culture of social media, etc., this kind of affirmation has become even more important, especially when it is expressed genuinely. Simple responses like “I hear you” and “Your feelings are valid” can help girls build the confidence they need to become great leaders.

3. ENCOURAGE THEM TO BE THEIR OWN ADVOCATES. One first step toward leadership is to realize that you’re the director of your own life. This is something that happens as children grow up, but even from a young age, encourage girls to ask for what they want or need rather than always having their desires anticipated. That way, they will know that they can identify a need and use their resources to fulfill it. When girls have ownership of a project or experience, they are more likely to invest their own time and effort to make sure it turns out the way they want.

4. EXPECT A LOT. Sometimes in order to realize their potential, girls need a push. If they’ve been told throughout their lives that they cannot or should not see themselves as leaders, it can be difficult to transform this mindset and change their internal dialogue.

In order to do this, high expectations can be productive, as long as they are combined with readily available support and a strong message that you believe they can do whatever task they have been assigned.

5. PROVIDE GOOD MODELS. One of the best things you can do to help girls find their ways as leaders is to be a good role model and give them good role models to look up to. Encourage girls to find positive examples of powerful, successful and strong women (in a variety of fields) as models to aspire to and learn from. Reading a biography 15

of one of these women or engaging with them through social media, music or other art forms can help girls see their own potential and that of their peers.

6. EVALUATE YOUR BIASES. You might think, as many of us do, that this advice doesn’t apply to you because you treat girls and boys the same way. This may well be true, but think back to the last time you spent time with a toddler. If it was a little girl, do you remember commenting on her tiny outfit or her adorable eyes? “She’s so cute!” is a common and well-practiced statement. Now think back to a time you played with a little boy.

Did you comment on his outfit or cuteness?

Chances are, you more likely said he was so good at walking or running or that he was so strong. If you recognize yourself in this, you’re not alone. It’s very engrained in our culture to praise girls for their appearance and boys for their performance, but what would happen if we all were just a little more careful of our own biases and made an effort to also tell girls that they were strong?

7. CELEBRATE THEIR CONFIDENCE. Especially knowing how our culture is more likely to degrade the confidence of girls, be sure to celebrate girls’ confidence when you see it. Praise them for loving math or wanting to join a wrestling team or singing a solo. Any act of confidence shows bravery and a developing sense of self and leadership, and it deserves your praise and support.

8. MAKE SURE THEY KNOW THEY’RE NOT ALONE. Especially when risk-taking can seem like a terrifying prospect, remind girls that they have resources and community. Facilitating conversations where girls can talk to each other about the barriers they see between themselves and leadership roles can help them realize that other girls (and adults) struggle with the same things they do and that asking for help and support from others can be productive and less than terrifying. These conversations could be one-on-one or in small groups, but make sure that they

are prefaced as safe and confidential spaces where everyone’s contribution is welcome.

9. HELP THEM FIND OPPORTUNITIES TO LEAD. This may sound obvious, but sometimes girls have not imagined themselves as potential leaders, so they do not seek out leadership positions on their own. In these situations, it can be very helpful to suggest a specific leadership role or opportunity and explain why you think a specific girl would be great for that role. Offer to help with an application process or write a letter of recommendation to show that you’re serious about your support. It’s also important to remember that leadership comes in all different forms.

Talk to girls about how they see themselves as leaders. Explore different leadership styles and discuss which ones they see themselves following. Use this to find opportunities tailored to their own styles as leaders.

10. FOLLOW. One of the very best things you can do to help girls lead is to follow. Recognizing a risk taken to stand up for an opinion

or volunteer for a leadership role is a great way to show girls that you will support them as leaders by following. Follow their examples and their bravery. Follow their ideas and their initiatives, and when they start to lead, do them and yourselves a favor. Take a step back, give them more responsibility, and show that you believe in their success and their abilities as leaders.

for important roles in the world and being prepared to learn from their wisdom, courage, and strength. The church is in a unique position to help with this and to encourage the next generation of female leaders.

If these steps seem simple to you, that’s great!

They’re supposed to! Cultivating leadership in girls is not rocket science. It’s about paying a little extra attention and listening a little harder than you might normally. Girls respond to respect, attention and thoughtfulness, and these three are easy gifts to give with only a little extra effort.

In the church and beyond, cultivating leadership in girls from a young age can encourage them to stay involved and participate in the world as thoughtful global citizens and careful leaders in all aspects of their lives. Teaching girls to be leaders means preparing them

“I am incredibly grateful for words of encouragement from more experienced pastors, especially women, and for words of encouragement from older women who say, ‘When I was young, I wanted to be a pastor, but women couldn’t do that back then.’ You are an inspiration to me.” Pastor Kristen Corr Rod

Molly Lindberg is a PhD student studying French in NYC. She attended Pacific Lutheran University where she had many wonderful female mentors, and she has volunteered with Kiwanis Camp Casey (a summer camp for kids with physical disabilities) for the past six summers where she learned a lot about mentoring girls and young women.

Molly enjoys the adventure of living in New York, but she misses Seattle where most of her friends and family still live. `

“You are human. Don’t expect your congregation to be made up of anything other than people. They’ll make mistakes, and so will you. They’ll say things that are offensive, and so will you. They won’t be perfect or fixed.

Neither will you. That’s the point.” Pastor Lois Pallmeyer “I have learned how to own my authority, and to speak and act with confidence. I have also given myself permission to be fully myself, without apology. I try to educate others while at the same time to show the respect I wish to receive. It has often been a wild ride!” Pastor Nancy Christensen

“No one ever told me how much pride I would feel for those women—to whom I was pastor when they were children—who are now pastors. No one told me that I would find peace in knowing that doors closed to me are open to them. No one told me how joyous their successes would be.” Pastor Linda C. Walz

“Be prepared for people to challenge you. If people feel like lashing out, the easiest way for them to do it, is to challenge you in this position. I always treat attacks as pastoral care issues, and that has worked very well for me so far.” Pastor Kristin Luana Baumann

“Even though I am aware of sexism, even though I work against it, I find myself being my worst enemy in the battle and am shocked when I realize I am upholding the unhealthy system. It takes years to dismantle our own socialized behavior, let alone someone else’s.”

Pastor Julie Kelly

Continued on page 18

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SPRING 2018

“GRIT AND GRACE: HEROIC WOMEN OF THE BIBLE” A conversation with author Caryn Rivadeneira When children (and adults) think about biblical heroes, most often thoughts turn to the boy David slaying the giant, King Solomon building the Temple, the prophet Elijah being carried off in a flaming chariot, John the Baptist coming out of the wilderness to prepare the way of the Lord and the Apostle Paul’s dramatic conversion. You’ve got Jesus, of course, and the 12 male disciples and almost every book of the Bible named after a man. But what about the women?

Though there are only a few prominent stories of named (and unnamed) women highlighted in the Bible, these stories have a powerful impact on the biblical narrative.

Author Caryn Rivadeneira brings these stories to life in her new book “Grit and Grace: Heroic Women of the Bible” (Sparkhouse Family, 2017). This book is a wonderful resource for churches to use with kids and youth (both boys and girls) to learn about the fascinating stories of seventeen women of the Bible. Below is a conversation with Rivadeneira about the book.

Q: Why do you think it’s important for kids and youth to know about the women of the Bible?

A: When women appear in the Bible, it seems like a stop-everything-and-pay-attention moment. And I believe that to be true. The stories of women in the Bible help shape the faith of boys and girls because they give us a broader picture of humanity and how God works through us. When we see women leading and preaching and prophesying and risking and

battling, we all know that God intended us all to do these things. Our faith becomes broader because our world- and Bible-view becomes broader.

Q: What do you hope girls will get out of the book, specifically?

A: Girls need to know that God doesn’t think less of them, that God doesn’t expect less from us than he does from boys. And he never has.

God creates girls strong and mighty and smart and funny and creative and wonderful—as he does boys. And he creates us to do great, gritty and grace-filled things in this world.

Sometimes those great things make us famous and stories end up being written about us (as happened in the Bible). But sometimes (most of the time?), those great things just make the world a better place for those around us—or help people in ways they might never recognize. God sees it though.

Q: Grit and Grace is written in creative, first person voices of the biblical women. How accurate are the stories to scripture?

A: When I speak to groups of kids about how I wrote these stories, I make it very clear that I took a lot of liberties—and implemented creative license. Some people feel uncomfortable with this—because I’m “messing with” scripture or the Word of God. I see it as the opposite. When I wrote “Grit and Grace,” I spent lots of time with these women—in the stories as presented in scripture. In many different translations of scripture. And I read other books, gathered other opinions. But mostly, I tried to imagine what it would’ve been like to be these women. I wanted readers to be able to feel and hear and taste and see what life might have been like for these women.

I actually think this is a really important spiritual practice—it helps the Bible come alive. The people we read about in scripture aren’t the one-dimensional characters we sometimes flatten them into for convenience sake. They’re complex humans—with complex feelings and responses and faith journeys.

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by Naomi Krueger

Q: Did you learn anything new or surprising while researching these girls and women?

A: I’ve spent a lot of my adult life reading about women of the Bible—facts about their life, their culture, that sort of thing. I had a lot of head knowledge about them. But as I read through these stories—one right after the other—something about them hit me hard emotionally. I ended up crying more times than I remember, just reading these stories of how God loves and uses his daughters. So, the surprising thing to me was how powerful they continue to be.

Q: How does learning about the women of the Bible help us learn about God? A: Because women were so oppressed—with zero rights or voice—in Bible times, that God used women of this time period to be heroes and visionaries and leaders shows us that God sees the world—and people—very differently than we do. God looks at our hearts and minds and spirits and souls—and knows what we’re capable of. Even when the rest of the world thinks we’re second-class citizens. This view of God can help us look at others differently today. There are still people all around the world (and in this country!) who are oppressed and who don’t have a voice. But God wants to use these people for his good works. And we should be helping that happen.

Q: Do you have any tips for using the book in small groups with youth?

A: Allow total openness and honesty in discussion. So many modern-day issues are present in the stories of these women—from #metoo to faith doubts to fear to confusion about themselves and/or God. These stories can open many doors to hearing students’ hearts and minds on a number of issues.

Q: Anything else you would like to say to youth workers about this book?

A: I’d love to see young people encouraged to come away not only knowing more about the women of the Bible—and the amazing things we learn about them, about God and about ourselves—but to be encouraged to enter

into the Bible and its stories. The practice of stepping into the scriptures and taking a look around, taking a big whiff of dusty air, leaning in to hear better... they help us step into the very presence of God. When stories come alive, when we can see ourselves in them, we’re in a better place to listen, to wrestle, to wonder. As a parent, that’s where I want my kids to be.

“Grit and Grace” was written specifically for kids ages 9-12, but has been enjoyed by older youth and adults. It’s available for purchase in paperback and as an ebook from all major book retailers.

Other books on women of the Bible: A Brave Big Sister: A Bible Story About Miriam

by Rachel Spier Weaver and Anna Haggard, illustrated by Eric Elwell (Picture Book for ages 3 to 7).

Fierce: Women of the Bible and Their Stories of Violence, Mercy, Bravery, Wisdom, Sex, and Salvation by Alice Connor (Paperback book for adults and mature teens) Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women by Sarah Bessey (Paperback book for adults and teens)

“If your leadership style is ‘stereotypically male’ (strong, authoritative, sure of self, articulate, direct), you will be labeled brash, overbearing, bossy, selfish and therefore, impossible to work with.” Pastor Kelly Taylor Schaus

Naomi Krueger is a children’s book editor at Beaming Books, an imprint of 1517 Media.

She also volunteers on the leadership team and with the kids ministry at a multicultural church plant in Saint Paul, Minnesota. She enjoys reading books and going for walks with her husband and son.

out children still have families.) Congregations do NOT have a role in my family planning choices.” Intern Pastor Maggie Andersen Peterson “Coming into ministry as a second (actually third) career meant everything I think or do is questioned; from candidacy, seminary and call. Life experience is given very little merit but has been helpful to me during the process.” Pastor Dianne Finnecy

“When I advocate for myself or others, I am pushy or a b*tch; a man saying the very same things is a strong leader. This isn’t a dynamic in my current parish, but it was huge in my last congregation. One woman on the call committee was so offended that I was assertive in negotiating my compensation package that she quit attending church for years.” Pastor Robin Owen

“One thing I did not know ahead of time is what a gift and honor it would be to be the first woman, first female voice, that other women would hear speak the good news. That sometimes, there would be moments when someone older or younger or any age celebrates your presence just for being a woman. Or hears the good news differently (personally, maybe!) because it is in your voice. Once, I wandered into the back of a Sunday morning adult faith formation class when the leader asked in the context of a conversation of Genesis 1, ‘When you imagine the voice of God, what do you hear?’

Lots of answers like ‘Morgan Freeman,’‘James Earl Jones,’ etc. And then one woman, 20 years my senior, answered, ‘Pastor Erica—I hear Pastor Erica’s voice.’ I grew up in the LCMS. In my own head, I hear/imagine God’s voice as primarily male, even though I ‘know’ better. But she can hear it. And I would never have guessed what a gift and privilege it would be.” Pastor Erica Gibson-Even

“We are capable to mobilize someone that men probably can’t; don’t overlook such wonderful same calling God has given to both genders that all are commissioned and entrusted by our Lord.” Pastor Jade Yi “Assumptions have been made about my biological clock and my desire for children ever since candidacy.

Don’t assume that my story is your story. And don’t ask your new pastor questions that may feel like boundary violations.” Pastor Mari Larson. “a) A man’s desire to have or not have children would never be considered. b) Don’t judge a woman for choosing to be a parent or how she prioritizes her family life. c) Don’t judge a woman for choosing to NOT be a parent or how she prioritizes her family life. (Yup, people with-

Continued on page 19 18

SPRING 2018

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE SEX TALK—AND BEYOND

by Sarah Condon Given the current culture of calling out sexual predators, harassers and just generally creepy dudes, I have been astonished at how often I have the “we have not talked to our kid about sex” conversation with perfectly rational, progressive Christian parents.

And while I would love to say that this burden somehow falls on the steps of the church, I actually don’t believe that. But I do believe that it might do the world (and girls and boys) some good to have the church equip parents with what to say.

Sex has to be talked about at home in a major way. And not just the conversation to explain the mechanics of it, but the follow-ups where we talk about concern for other people, concern for ourselves and what the fallout of bad sexual experiences (wanted or not) looks like.

When I was 11 years old, there was a new boy at the neighborhood pool who liked to try to touch girls in private places. It was kind of his gig. He would swim by and reach out

his hand, grabbing boob or crotch like the small pool pervert he was. All the girls told their parents. But this kid was weird even before his pool proclivities made themselves known. So many of the parents, being pleasant Christian people, told their daughters to just avoid swimming near him.

But not my dad. He told me that the next time the boy reached for my lady parts, I was to reach down and pull his genitals as hard as I could. And then once the boy started yelling, I was to take that as a cue to just pull harder.

His actual words were, “Pull until he screams and then keep pulling.”

And most importantly, I learned that I was very valuable and worth protecting which also meant that I needed to communicate that for myself.

Parents depend on the church to communicate the gospel to their children. The hope is always that they hear it reverberated at home. When it comes to sex, I hope that the model works in the opposing direction. When we tell our youth that they are beloved, that sex is a gift and that they can and should stand up for themselves, I pray that they think, “Right. Just like my parents have always told me.”

(I love my dad. And I know I am very lucky.)

I learned so many lifelong lessons from this single exchange. Because my parents told me what sex was when I was in second grade, I knew I could trust them with my fear and discomfort. I learned that sometimes boys could be sexually aggressive. I learned that being nice was not always going to get the job done.

“I am a pastor who has never known a world without pastors who are also female. This has shaped my call immensely because I have always known strong, dynamic, faithful women in the pulpit, and yet, I also can still feel the unease and tension of having females in this calling by those who haven’t always known this reality. So, the negative comments ring true, but so does that deep need of being able to see yourself in a role and to have strong role models and mentors.” Pastor Kaitlyn Forster

Sarah Condon is an Episcopal priest by ordination and, theologically speaking, a wannabe Lutheran pastor in practice. She is an assistant for Pastoral Care at St. Martin’s Episcopal Church in Houston, Texas.

“We deal with sexism, of course, and not just from those who do not support women’s ordination. We experience harassment and sexist comments/actions from parishioners, fellow ELCA clergy, Synod staff and co-workers, all the people ‘who should know better.’ It’s exhausting and discouraging to deal with, whether you ignore or confront it. And it drives women out of ministry.”

Pastor Chelsea Globe “Women in ministry are often buffeted by micro-aggressive behaviors of congregants and male colleagues. This can be throughout the call and is especially intense for African-Descent female pastors!”

Pastor Marilyn Robinson

“We’re lovable and capable and don’t have to prove ourselves to anyone. Each of us is a child of God and that’s what defines us. We live into who God created us to be by the grace of God.” Pastor Meg Sander

Contined on page 21 19

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To make a donation, please go to: www.thrivent.com/thriventchoice . Log in, and from there you can search for the ELCA Youth Ministry Network in the listing of approved organizations, and make your designation! Thank you to all who have chosen the Network for your donations so far!

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Serve Boldly Wheat Ridge Ministries Youth Leadership

SPRING 2018

“A male pastor and a female pastor can say the same things, do the same work, lead in similar ways and yet when woman speak out for justice or lead with strength and power they are considered ‘controversial,’ ‘divisive,’ and ‘offensive’ but the men are considered ‘courageous leaders.’ That male colleagues will get credit for the work you do. That women can be every bit as sexist as men.”

Chaplain Siri Erickson

share with me that he felt he could listen and relate to the sermons from women rather than ‘boring old men who talk too much.’ I think he had a history of being ‘talked at’ by too many men in his life. Women aren’t necessarily better at ministry than men; men aren’t necessarily better at ministry than women. We are each different as individuals, with the different gifts the Spirit has given us.” Pastor Kirsten Moore

“Being a woman in ministry is a gift and a challenge. Our calling brings out the best of what we as women have to offer—perseverance, compassion, courage and daunting intellect, not to mention flexibility and a sense of humor. What we need more of is permission from each other to set healthy boundaries and stand by them. Allow yourself to have fun!” Pastor Patti Axel

“I wish I would have been told how the particular female-ness that I brought to the ministry would be a gift. There are people who feel safe with me that would never feel safe with a male pastor; there are ways that I can connect with folk that are different and unique because I am a woman, and there is a prophetic quality to the intersection of being a mother and a minister. Being a female pastor is a gift, not a hurdle!”

Pastor Bethany Hull Somers

“Be prepared for all of the questions, statements and judgments about clothing. For example, if I wore a skirt that hit my knees, I would have someone comment about ‘never seeing my pastor’s knees before,’ or that my ‘sexy legs’ might be a ‘distraction in worship for some people.’” Pastor Kari Rinas

It never ceases to amaze me that when he (male senior pastor) is away on vacation I get numerous comments like ‘Are you doing okay managing this all on your own?’

Of course he never gets the same comments when I am gone. Another thing that I get are frequent comments about how stressful it must be to balance being a pastor with being a wife and mother. Women have been ordained for almost 50 years in the Lutheran Church in America and in the workforce even longer. When are we going to stop allowing people to use ‘change is hard’ as a reason for not getting with the times?”

Pastor Naomi Hartman

“It is an honor to be given access into the most central aspect of people’s lives. It is hard to picture what pastors do all day, because so much of our work is either mind and heart work that isn’t apparent from the exterior, or confidential in nature, but it is good work, fulfilling work and an honor, and frequently a joy, to do.”

Pastor Serena Sellers

“One thing? Only one? Maybe it’s the frustration I experience each time I have to fight for my voice to be heard in gatherings of rostered leaders. Many of my male colleagues simply are unaware of how much effort I have to put in to being **heard.** It’s not that they’re being intentionally exclusive. It’s not even that for almost 50 years now, there have been women ordained in the Lutheran church. It’s that it simply **does not register** with them that male perspective is still so dominant. I can’t count the number of times I have added my perspective in, say, a text study group...and there’s a pause... and then the discussion resumes.”

Pastor Beth Woodard

“I’m a little weary of hearing other pastors talk about what ‘pastors my age’ think, feel, know or can do. I’m not young, but I have a passion for parish ministry, especially ministry with children, youth, parents, families and elders. I didn’t follow God’s call to ordination because I didn’t want to do youth ministry anymore. I did it because it seemed the faithful thing to do, where God was calling me.” Pastor Mary Kaye Ashley “I have found many times that being a woman in ministry can have its advantages. I have had several men and women tell me that they feel much more free to be vulnerable with me and share emotionally with me because I am a woman. Recently, I had one young man 21

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SPRING 2018

LOST AND OUND

RESENTS THE

FESTIVAL

The Reformation Continues

June 16-22, 2019 Wittenberg,Eisleben,Eisenach, Berlin, Leipzig, Torgau, Erfurt Walk in the steps of Martin Luther and learn that Church history can be a whole lot of fun.

Bring the family, the youth group, or the whole congregation!

Learn, Serve and Celebrate together in Germany.

Get all the details at www.luther500festival.com 23

ELCA Youth Ministry Network 150 Oakwood Lane Owatonna, Mn 55060

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