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Part 3: Building Essential
Part 4: Beyond Burnout and Toward Resilience:
Part 5: The Part of Tens
3: BUILDING ESSENTIAL RESOURCES
Dark night and dark clouds: Wisdom gleaned from being burned out
Exercise: Finding the silver linings in burnout
Introduction
If you are feeling burned out, depressed, unmotivated, without purpose or passion, or unproductive at work or at home, you are not alone. Burnout is everywhere and has become especially prevalent since the COVID-19 pandemic, though it was a widespread problem even prior. Whether you are taxed from being overworked, undersupported, or a full-time caregiver or overwhelmed by neverending responsibilities, the causes and reasons that have led you to burnout are varied, complex, and very real indeed.
In lieu of ongoing uncertainty coming in the form of pandemics, school shootings, job demands, loss of loved ones, illness, or economic instability, it is not surprising that burnout is so prevalent. The question is, does burnout need to happen to so many people? Can it be healed, and better yet, can burnout be prevented?
It’s important to remember that you are innately wired to adapt to difficulty and you do have the tools within you to heal. In each and every one of us, there exists a strong and resilient person who can overcome adversity and burnout. The key is to be able to tap into this wiring, this part of you that wants to thrive and live fully, so that you can set the course to flourishing, freedom, and fulfillment. This may not sound possible from your vantage point now, given that you feel exhausted and spent. But know that it is possible.
Your path is unique to you, and this book is intended to help readers embark on their personal journey to discovering their way through healing burnout. You find out what burnout is, the factors involved that get you there, how to identify the role you may have played, the importance of mindful compassion when it comes to healing, and the various other strategies that can help you get out of burnout and back to feeling resilient and flourishing. Hopefully, this book will provide you with wisdom and guidance, helping you uncover more closely who you are, your tendencies, your wants, the job that is right for you, and ways to treat yourself with love and compassion so that you can find your way to enjoying a meaningful and fulfilling life.
About This Book
I just got off a call with a dear friend who I was advising on how to avoid burnout when I received a call from the publishing house asking if I would be willing to write Burnout For Dummies. It seemed like it was meant to be, and indeed I was excited to have the opportunity to share my experiences and knowledge with others who could benefit from it.
I have been helping people with burnout for over 25 years, whether they have come to my clinical practice or I work with them currently in my coaching practice. What I have learned is that though no two individuals have the same journey, there are many universal factors that do apply to everybody. This book covers the variety of factors that can lead to burnout, ways in which you can recognize the signs and symptoms, how to examine your job and identify whether it’s the right fit for you, how to enhance compassion toward yourself, and how to build a slew of skills and tools to help you through and out of burnout. Burnout For Dummies offers insight, easy-to-follow instructions, practical tips, time-honored wisdom, and do-it-yourself exercises that enable you to embody the knowledge so that it becomes reality.
Hopefully, you will find the information in this book to be practical, loving, and applicable to your work and life. Explore the book and feel free to read the chapters that appeal to you or read from cover to cover. Experiment with the exercises and take time to reflect. Read it once or several times. Bring the words into practice as you see fit. You may want to read some of the exercises and record yourself so that you can listen as you keep your eyes closed and mindfully follow the practices. Be sure to listen to the recordings that are offered and check out the cheat sheet. You didn’t get to burnout overnight, so the healing process is therefore a journey of discovery, one that hopefully, this book can serve as a guide for.
Foolish Assumptions
When writing this book, I made the assumption that the majority of people with burnout have medical complaints, seeing as how many of the people I have helped had been my patients. The truth is that burnout can happen to anyone with or without medical issues, and the key is to catch the warning signs before physical or psychological problems arise or get worse. I may have foolishly assumed also that you don’t want to struggle more than you already are, and that you want to learn how to find ways to thrive instead of dive. Perhaps you are tired and don’t
have the energy to do it, but I believe that you can, foolishly or not. I believe there is a rich and strong part within you that is eager to read to learn, discover, and do what it takes to move through and out of burnout to find fulfillment and joy. I have not foolishly assumed that this book has all of the answers to burnout. Do know that. Foolish or not, though, I do believe this book will help.
Icons Used in This Book
Throughout this book, I use icons to draw your attention to particular kinds of information, exercises, or opportunities to reflect. Here’s what they mean:
This icon alerts you to important insights, clarifications, or ways to do things better.
I use this icon whenever I want your attention. Please read the text associated with it for important information.
This icon lets you know that the exercise you’re reading can be found online as an audio track. See the next section for more details.
Beyond the Book
In addition to the material in this printed book, go to www.dummies.com to find a Cheat Sheet with tips that will serve as reminders or quick-access information. Simply type “Burnout For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the search box on Dummies.com.
But wait! There’s more: You can download a dozen audio tracks of some of the best exercises from the book, which are flagged with the Play icon. To access these audio tracks, go to www.dummies.com/go/burnoutfd.
Where to Go from Here
The book is designed in such a way so that you don’t have to read the book from cover to cover. Rather, you can open the book to the chapter you’re interested in. You get to decide how and what you want to learn. Of course, if you want to understand the basis of burnout and use it as the foundation from which you jump off and learn everything else, go in chronological order and build the knowledge you need as you go along.
Take your pick, enjoy the read, and feel free to let me know how your journey goes at www.drselhub.com!
1 Turning the Tide on the Burnout Epidemic
IN THIS PART . . .
Get an overview of what constitutes burnout to help guide you on your journey.
Take a quiz to evaluate if and how you are burned out.
Find out about the scope of burnout, who it is affecting, and why.
Appreciate the impact burnout has on society, families, relationships, and health.
IN THIS CHAPTER
» Discovering the signs of burnout
» Identifying the various “flavors” that burnout may have
» Checking your burnout level
Chapter 1
So You Think You’re Burned Out
Chances are, whether you have purchased this book or just picked it up to have a look, you are already thinking that you, or someone you care about, is experiencing burnout and you are hoping there is a way out. The good news is there is a way, but it isn’t so much an out as a through, back to the part of you that is full of life, joy, and vitality.
Know that there is no quick fix to burnout. Perhaps you’re thinking you are too tired or exhausted to even read through this book. But ask yourself this: Who noticed that you were feeling uneasy or tired? Who picked up the book wanting to feel better? Some part of you has become aware that you are tired, lacking motivation, feeling disconnected or irritated, and so forth. Some part of you believes you don’t have to feel this way. It’s this very part of you that isn’t burned out!
There is a part of you that has raised the alarm and essentially nudged you; a little voice inside you that said, “this isn’t right” or “you shouldn’t have to feel this way” and then motivated you to take action.
Guess what? This part of you, whether big or small, is the part of you that is not burned out and the part of you that this book will connect with and help flourish, similar to the way you might pull weeds from around a beautiful flower so that it can feel the light and grow to its full potential. You have arrived at this point in
time with everything you need to live a full and thriving life free of burnout because you have the capacity to notice the current conditions and to respond to them with kindness, warmth, and a sense of purpose. You will discover in these pages how you came to be in this place; how you can navigate more effectively through and beyond it; how you can prevent ending up here again; and even more importantly, how to find a deeply satisfying and meaningful way of being in your work and in your life. Sound okay to you? Great! Time to get started.
What Exactly Is Burnout?
If you’re like me, your first instinct when authors start talking about defining terms (aside from noticing your eyes glazing over) may be to skip ahead to the “good stuff.” After all, what good is a dictionary when you’re suffering and in pain? You simply want the pain to go away, and the sooner the better. However, consider indulging me here and being a little bit patient so that we can get started on the right foot and be absolutely sure that we (you and I) are talking about the same thing when we use the word “burnout.”
Burnout is a term that gets tossed around a lot these days, not only because it is rampant in our modern lives (more on this later) but also because it has become a label that we have come to apply to a wide range of non-burnout experiences. The word “burnout” seems to be experiencing the same fate as the word “trauma,” which was intended to denote a deeply distressing or disturbing experience or a physical injury but has since been applied to everything from torture to rude baristas at Starbucks. I giggle to myself thinking about the reaction of one of my exercise buddies when I mentioned that I would be writing a book on burnout. He said (laughing), “I need that. I’m so burned out I am practically a walking textbook,” while going on to do 150 squats. Needless to say, I explained to him that he may be feeling weary about life and “over the [COVID-19] pandemic,” but burnout itself actually has a more specific definition. The very mere facts that he had such a positive attitude, had plenty of energy to work out and go hiking that very same day, and enjoyed his work were representative of the likelihood that he actually was not burned out, at least, not yet by the looks of it.
The term “burnout” was first coined by the psychologist Herbert Freudenberger in the 1970s. It is defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as an “occupational phenomenon” that is “. . . a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy.” I explore these manifestations of burnout much more deeply later in this chapter.
The WHO definition goes on to specifically state that “burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.” In modern society, however, the line between work and “other areas of life” has sufficiently blurred to the extent that it is really unfair to talk concretely about “work-life balance” or to imply that burnout would only arise from your job, if, for example, you are a parent, the primary caregiver for an aging parent, or a volunteer leader of a community organization. For the purposes of this book, I say that burnout arises out of your attempts to fulfill your obligations of any kind. Indeed, burnout is not exclusive to work. It is a stressrelated issue, and you can therefore arrive at burnout as a result of the cumulative effect of stress from too many obligations in any area of your life.
What burnout is not
Putting aside this little shift to looking at all your obligations as a potential source of burnout, it can be valuable to focus on figuring out what burnout is and also what it is not, so you can invest your time and attention in addressing the larger challenge itself and not waste your effort on “Band-Aid fixes.” What I’m suggesting here is the equivalent of “work smarter, not harder,” and getting a better sense of what you are trying to improve or correct will help you be more effective in reducing burnout and increasing satisfaction in your life. Taking pain medication to address the symptoms of a shoulder injury can certainly help dull the pain, but appreciating that the pain comes from a broken bone will go a lot farther toward long-term relief of the pain. Appreciating the source of burnout versus the symptoms can help you be more effective.
You can see in the earlier WHO definition that the term “burnout” addresses a syndrome that results from chronic stress from your obligations. It’s worthwhile to unpack those two terms a bit further to appreciate both the depth and the seriousness of burnout and begin to highlight some ways to reduce it in your life.
A syndrome is defined as a group of symptoms that consistently occur together or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms, traits, or distinctive features. Because these traits or symptoms occur in a kind of cluster of unpleasantness, chasing after one or the other of them is not likely to address the true underlying cause, even if relieving one of them could feel good in the moment.
Many people today feel distraught, overwhelmed, and anxious as a result of managing through the COVID-19 pandemic and financial and global uncertainty. You may be one of them. Are you tired and worried, but still have time and energy to enjoy your life; do you feel more or less satisfied at work and feel rejuvenated after a good weekend getaway (that you can afford)?
Or are you are feeling profoundly exhausted? It feels like there isn’t enough time in the day to meet all of your obligations. Perhaps your mother is unwell and requires frequent doctor’s visits or around-the-clock care, your new boss is extremely demanding and unforgiving, and you feel more and more like a failure and not good enough. Your body aches, you worry about getting COVID-19, and you can’t remember when you had a full night’s sleep. You want a break but don’t see one in sight as your family relies on your income. Will a night out with friends help? Maybe a mani-pedi or a massage?
The real question is whether quick fixes can actually address your deep feelings of exhaustion or cynical attitude in any meaningful way. They may help you feel somewhat better . . . for a while, but in the end you’re likely to find (or you’ve already found) that these are drops in a bucket that is far bigger than a single act can fill. This isn’t an argument for not doing these things, but just a way of saying that a complex challenge like burnout calls for a broader approach if you really want to turn the tide.
Burnout isn’t like a headache or a sore muscle that can be treated with a pill or a massage. It isn’t something that happens because you have a rough day, nor is it having to do a difficult thing as part of your obligations (even if it is distasteful or downright degrading). Rather, it’s more complex and a reflection of something more chronic and insidious that requires deeper care and support.
What makes burnout so complex
The other key word in the WHO definition is chronic. A chronic syndrome is one that has persisted for a long time or constantly recurs and is hard to eradicate. What this term chronic suggests is that there are no quick fixes to a problem that has been something like a constant (and difficult) companion to you for a while. It’s been around for so long, in fact, that it has graced you with a myriad of health issues that may have driven you to seek medical care — when you can get there — and when you can’t, to popping pills or self-medicating with food or alcohol.
It’s important to note one more aspect of the WHO definition before moving on. It states that burnout “is not classified as a medical condition.” The significance of this statement is that there is no clear treatment for it, and it is considered a factor “. . . influencing health status or contact with health services.” In practical terms, this line points to two important points that are considered later in this book. First, burnout may very well drive you to the doctor (who may or may not recognize your complaints as burnout or know exactly how to treat it), and second, it has very real physical health consequences nonetheless, well beyond the specific symptoms you may experience. The medical consequences of burnout are huge and widespread, and I explore these further a bit later. Note, however, that they
