ThetipsoftheearlymorningsunarejustbeginningtopeekoverthehorizonasEdnaEdletonpeersthroughtheblindinher kitchenwindow.Raysoflightlieoverthegreengrass,becomingthickerandlusherwitheverypassingday.Springisinfull swing, and the days of May are starting to feel like a warmhug Tree buds are swelling, looking healthy and rich while preparingtoflourishforthebestseasonoftheyear.Thewide-openskiesarepaleturquoisebluewithcloudsthatarethepurest whiteyoucouldimagine.Birdsmarchalongfenceposts,diphighandlowinthesky,takingfrequentbreakstofilltheirhungry belliesafteralongVermontwinter.
ThisiswhyEdnalovesher housebeingtuckedawaydownhere.Therearenever childrenhootingandholleringdownthe road,sothereisnoreasonforschoolbusestocomethisway Therearenoidiotsdragracingupanddownthestreetbecauseit ends right here, at the foot of Edna's driveway. Abig loop that tells incomers, sorry you're not welcome here, before usheringthemrightbackoutthewaytheycame
Ednacontinuestostudythewhitetruck,nowidlinginthedrivewayofthesmallyellowhousethatispracticallyidenticalto hers, exceptfor hers beinggray WhenArchie lived there, he oftenjoked thattheir house's personalities matched their own Archie's house is vinyl-sided ina shade ofsunshine yellow, mirroringhis sunnydisposition, cutelyadorned witha colorful welcomematatthefrontdoorandaporchswingthatmightjustenticethemailmantostayandhaveabeer.Ontheotherhand, Edna'sisvinyl-sidedwithsteelygray,whichmatchesherunapproachable,sourappearance,asArchiesocomedicallyputit Insteadoffloweringpottedplantsthatportrayafriendlywomanlivinginside,herfrontporchishometoherthree-footcactus. Thathas Don't Poke Me writtenall over it, doesn'tit? She knows it's notveryinviting, butEdna didn'tputitthere to scare peopleaway;itjusthappenstobethespotthatgetsthebestsun.
pickedup.Ifthismysterypersonis lookingfortheircellphone,theyatleasthadthedecencytodoitinaparkedvehicle. Idiotsusingtheircellphonesbehindthewheelwasoneofthe many reasonswhyEdnagaveupdrivingthreeyearsago.Well, thatand the factthather doctor told her she was goingpartiallyblind inher righteye EventhoughDoctor Small (whatan unflatteringnameforaman)toldEdnathathedidnotneedtodeclareherlegallyblind,hestillurgedhertothinkaboutlimiting activities thatcould putherselfor others indanger It's notlike Edna ventures far;she isn'ta roadrunner She's always been more of a homebody, but not so far as to be a hermit. She does take Daisy to her checkups once a year and occasional appointmentswithDoctorSmallwhenelderberrysyrupwon'tcureacoughorshehasgonetoomanydaysbeingconstipated Ednarefocusesherattentionwhensheseesthatthedriverhasfoundhiscellphone.Sherollshereyes.Hemakesaquickcall andthenhangsup,tuckingthephoneinhispocketforsafekeeping.Hopefully,he'stakencareofwhateverimportantbusiness broughthimtoherquietoasisonWhippleRoad,andnowthathe'sdoneso,hewillshimmyrightbackthewayhecame Butinsteadofshiftingthetruckintodrive,thestrangeropensthedoorandstepsdownontothepaveddriveway.Edna'seyes grow huge like marbles as she looks down at Daisy on the floor "What in the world?" Edna wonders aloud, and Daisy respondswithathickmeow.Her heartdoesthatlittlewallopinher chest thesameoneshe'sbeenmeaningtomentionto DoctorSmall butcan'tseemtobringherselfto She'seighty-three Ifhertickerweren'tactingup,she'dthinksomethingwas peculiar. Hell, she's closer to beingdead thananythingelse, so whybother? Doctor Small surelymust have more pressing patientstoworryaboutthanher.
No This isn'tsome unmarked currier She fears this isn'ta deliverymanatall Dread lurks inher bones whenshe thinks aboutthe possibilitythatthe house's owner could be rentingitout. Archie Fisher would have some nerve doingthis to her whenshe'sbeenenjoyinghersolitudeforthelasttenyearssinceArchiemovedbacktothewestcoast Besides,wouldhebe dumbenoughtorentitoutwithoutatleastcominghome tomeetwithhis new tenantinpersonandsignsomelease forms to protecthimselfandhispropertyfrompotentialdestruction?Ednashouldhopeso,butthenagain…shealwaysthoughtArchie wasn'tthesharpesttoolintheshed.
Although it was none of her business, Edna didn't understand it. She couldn't fathom why he would make such a rash decision.Whatwas thereinL.A.for anolder mantodo?Sure,maybeshecouldpicturehimattheGettyCenter Museumor takingacasualwalkalongSantaMonicaPier,butshecouldnotenvisionhimhikingtotheHollywoodsignorgrabbingaquick lunchatIn-N-OutBurger.Andgoodnessheavens,L.A.wasontheoppositesideofthecountry,sofarfromandsodifferentthan Vermont ButArchiehadthegumptionandthefundstowakeuponemorninganddecidetogo,sohedid
Despitethegentlemorningbreeze,themysteryman'sdarkhairstaysinplaceashestepsoutofthetruck.Hemustusesome sortofpomadeinit Ednawondersifit'ssticky Thereisn'tanythingremarkableabouthim He'stallandthinbuthardlylooks likehe's sportingasix-packunder his shirt.He's nothandsomelikesomeofthemenyouseeontelevision,buthe's notugly either. He doesn't have facial hair that makes himappear outdoorsy. His denimjeans are clean and fit himwell. Edna is relievedthattheyaren'tpulledsofardownhisbottomthatyoucanmakeouthisbrandofunderpants Ednacringeswhenshe seestheyoungfellasintownwiththeirpantsbeltedaroundtheiranus,usuallywithaskateboardattachedtotheirboxy-looking sneakers Theylookhideous Thisman'spantsareproperlyfitting,andEdnaguessesheisinhislatethirtiesorearlyforties, which,bysociety'sstandards,tellsherthatanyminutenow,aspouseandaflockofchildrenshouldbejumpingoutofthetruck andpawingathiscalveslikehungrylittlegremlins
Instead,hedutifullywalksaroundthefrontofthetruckandopensthepassengerdoor,andEdnaisrelievedtoseethatthere is,infact, not aflockofchildren.Butherbodystiffenswhensheseesfourshortbrownlegsleaptotheground,attachedtoa tinycaninebodywithearsdraggingonthegroundlikeabride'sveil Herheartticksalittleslowerasiftimehasstoppedand thenpicksbackupagain.
SheglancesatDaisyoutofthecorner ofher eye,thankful sheissittinginthediningroomchair insteadofwitnessingthis unfortunate eventunfold outthe window. She can'timagine Daisywould be thrilled knowingthatone ofthese potential new neighborsisofarivalspecies
Thedogbeginspullingthemaninalldifferentdirections.Itstiny,squishybodymovesquickerthanitsstubbylegscankeep upwithanoverloadofnewsightsandsmells.Thedogprancesaround,sniffingoccasionally,andgetscaughtupintheleasha fewtimesbeforewindingitselfaroundthebigtreeinthefrontyard Theownerstopstountangletheleash,andthedogtakes offagain,yankingtheslightmanforwardonhisfeet.TheywandertowardtheweatheredfencethatseparatesEdna'syardfrom Archie's Onceuponatime,thewoodenslatssparkledwhiteandshiny,althoughnow,moreresembleamilkywhite Ednaknowssheshouldleavethewindow andletthembe.Sheknowssheshouldn'tworryaboutwhotheyare,wherethey camefrom,orwhytheyarehere.Butherinstinctskeepherhere,stilllikefinechinaondisplay,tellingherthateventhoughthe man doesn't look like a squatter or a murderer, she should keep an eye on himjust a bit longer. Perhaps she'll report the incidenttoArchieifshesuspectsanythingfishy.Therewon'tbemuchhecandoaboutitfromLosAngeles,butEdnaknowsshe
willfeelbetterifshetellshim.
In the time it takes for her to fix Daisy her Sheba Roasted Chicken and Liver Pate, which, despite the smell, Edna specificallyfeedsherbecauseshelooksexactlylikethecatonthepeel-awaylid,somethingcatastrophichappensoutsideher window.
Whilewe'reonthetopic,thereisnotmuchatallaboutEdnaorhermannerisms,whicharediscreet. She'llhuff,andshe'llpuff,andshe'llblowthismanoverifthat'swhatittakes Thedogpayshernoattention,nowsleepinglazilyontheseatinthecabofthetruck.Itsjowlsaresaggingoverstretched-out dirty paws and ears covering its eyes like a blindfold. The man squats before her on the ground, and only when he hears someoneapproachfrombehinddoeshestandandturntofaceher.
Herwordsarestunnedforamoment,whichsheisnotusedto,consideringhow ill-temperedshefeltassheblazedouther frontdoor Let's be honest;she hasn'tmoved like thatinages Butwhenher gaze drops to the little plastic baginhis hand containingwhatshe canonlyimagine is the thing she cansmell, she suddenlyfeels her anger decelerate. Awarmthwashes overherwhensherealizesthismanhadthecommoncourtesytopickupthemesswithoutherhavingtoscreamathimtodoso Interesting.
Shewondersifhisparentsaredecentpeople.Theymustbe,tohaveraisedsomeoneasremotelyresponsibletorespectother people's property.Or perhaps it's his wife whohas trainedhimwell enoughtopickupafter himselfinanycircumstance wherehe,orhisdog,leavesamessbehind.Hemustbeoneofthoserarespouseswhoactuallyplaceshisdirtyunderwear in thehamper Impressive.
ThiswouldbeEdna'sopportunitytoaskburningquestionslike: Where are you from? How many of you are there? When are you leaving? Butforthefirsttimeinalongtime,shebiteshertongueinstead.Thismanhadalongdrive,andforallEdna knows, he hastousethebathroomtoo Shewouldprefertogetbackinsidesoshedoesn'thavetoseehimrelievinghimselfin theyard.Instead,shesays,"Yes.Well,Isaw youpull in,andIthoughtyoumightbelost.Icameover toaskyoutocleanup afteryourdog,butIseeyou'vealreadydonethat So,thankyou"
"I'mnotlost.I'mrentingthe place fromArchie Fisher."He smiles,andEdna notices how matter-of-facthis tone is."So,I guess thismeansthatBaxterandIareyournewneighbors"
Ednareflectsonwhetherornotthisissomesortofkarmacomingbacktobiteherinherperfectlyroundbackside.Hasshe done something recently that would make her deserve a punishment like this? For ten years, she has lived in peace and tranquility Tenyearsofenjoyingthesunsetfromherfrontporchwhilesippinghertea Sheevengardenedinherswimsuitlast summerwhenthetemperaturebrokearecordduringasix-dayheatwave.Williamsvillehadn'tseenadaythathotsince1950. Noonewasaroundtowitnessthespectacle,soshefigured,whynot?Itwasoddlyliberating,andEdnathoughtmorewomen shoulddoitoften.Thesegalstodayaresoworriedaboutwhattheirbodieslooklikeinswimsuits.Justputitonandletitall hangout!Cripes!Tohellwithwhateveryoneelsethinks Besides,itwasbetterthangoingoutsidewithoutanyclothesonatall, whichiswhatshereallywantedtodo.
Neighbors. Edna does her bestto suppress anaudible grunt. Justwhatshe was afraid of. She tries to muster a practiced smilebutisn'tsureifit'sconvincing Butthenagain,sheisn'theretobefriendswithBaxterTheDogorwhoeverthisis "Isee
"Ididn'tcatchyourname,"themansays.Ednarollsthethoughtoverinhermindofgivinghimafakenamebutthinksbetter ofitbecause whatgood would thatdo? Itwouldn'tmake anyofthis go away. The wayhe looks ather makes her stomach churn Hiseyesarekindandeager Hisgazemakesherfeellikehe'soneofthosepeoplewhowouldn'tmindmakingafriend Maybehe'ssomeonewho needs afriend.SuddenlyEdnawondersifthatisthecase,whydoesn'tthisman have anyfriends? Whatcouldhepossiblywantwithanoldlady?
Ednadoesn'twanttobehisfriend,oranyone'sforthatmatter.She'smadeitthroughherentirelifejustfineonherown.It's better thatway She'snostranger tohow other peoplereacttoher whensheisinpublic Thelooksshegetsatthepharmacy whenshepicksupherMetamucil.ThewaythereceptionistatDoctorSmall'sofficetiptoesaroundher,alwayscarefulnotto say something to upset her after the last incident. It wasn't Edna's fault that Marcy didn't know how to schedule patients properly Edna sat in the waiting room for over two hours that day because Mousey Marcy had double-booked his appointments.Thatwouldneverhavehappenedifshewereanygoodatherjob.Theolderladiesatthelibrarywhisperabout herwhenshegoesintoexchangeherbooks Therehasbeenatimeortwothatshe'sseenthemtosstheirheadsinherdirection beforesnickeringbehindtheir embroideryhoops.Ednathinks theyshouldkeeptheir noses intheir needlepoint.Therewas a time when she did wonder what they were saying about her. But now, she marches right in there with her chin up and a confidentswingtoherhips,pretendingtheyarenotevenalive. Deepdown,Ednawishestheyweren't.
This is a small town People may not know Edna Edleton But they know her enough by the conclusions they've drawn because she is anolder womanlivinginthe small house atthe end ofWhipple Road. Theyassume she is a bitstrange and likelytobecrankyandtemperamental ifsomeonecrossesherthewrongway Theyknow thisbecauseall ittakesisonebad encounterinthislittletown,andbeforeyouhavetimetoflushatoilet,everyoneknowswhatsortofbusinessyoudid.Itscolor, size,shape,andfirmnessarealloutthereforanyonetogawkat.Generallyspeaking,mostWilliamsvilletowniesknowtogive Ednaawideberthwhenpassingherinthegrocerystoreaisle,justincasesheishavingoneofherdays. Moreoftenthannot,sheis.
Edna straightens her body, forcingherselfto remainincharacter, not lettingthe eccentric womanshe has beenher entire adultlife slipaway,evenfor a moment.She doesn'toffer her hand.She doesn'tproduce anounce ofa smile.She keeps her gazeevenandflat Sheturnsherbodyslightlybacktowardherhousesoheknowsshedoesn'tplantostickaroundforacupof coffee."I'mEdna."
ThefollowingTuesday,Ednareadiesherselfforherweeklytripintotownontheseniorbus Shewokeupearlytowashher hairsoshewouldn'tbecaughtstrollingthroughtownlookingdrab.Ifthereisonethingshehaslearnedtohateasshehas reachedhergoldenyears,it'sshowering Sheloathesthewholeordeal fromundressinginherbathroomtostandinguneasily under her ancientshower head to beingsoppingwetonthe dingybathmat. Edna is always petrified thatshe'll slip and fall gettinginorout,andtherefore,endupspreadeagleonthetubfloorwaitingfortheparamedicstoarrive.Butdespiteherfears, sheknowshow vitalhygieneis,soshecontinuestoscrubadubnearlyeveryday,especiallyonthedayswhenshe'saboutto comeincontactwiththepeopleofhercommunity.Thelastthingshewantsistoadd stinky toherresume.
She wears her bestpair ofslacks and her favorite navy-blue button-downtop She combs her hair withher favorite pick combandpressesalittlebabypowderunderherarms.Sheevenswipesadaboflipstickacrossherlips.Theshadeiscalled Just Kissed, which Edna finds rather odd because she hasn't been kissed by a man in a while She clasps her gold watch around her leftwristand slides the blackonyxringthatonce belonged to her mother over her rightringfinger. She spends exactlyelevenminutesorganizingherrectangulardenimpursetoensureitscontentsareallwheretheyaresupposedtobeso thathererrandswillbeefficientandtrouble-free.
She says goodbye to Daisy, promisingher she will returnina few hours. Daisylooks more interested inthe treats Edna poursonthefloorthaninwhatshesaysassheclosesthefrontdoor
Since Edna no longer drives or owns a car, she has no choice butto depend onthe senior bus to getaround. Harold, the volunteerbusdriver,istypicallypunctual,andEdnaappreciatesthatabouthim AndlikemostotherTuesdays,shehearshim pullingdowntheroadasshetapsherwatchtoseethat,onceagain,Haroldisrightontime.
Ednaboardsthebusandtakesherusualspotontheright-handside,fastensherseatbelt,andpretendsnottonoticetheother passengers.It'shardnottobecausetoherleftsitsShirleyBates,whoapparentlymusthavedousedherselfwithanexplosive amountofperfumewhilegettingreadythismorning.TworowsbehindhersitsGaryCompton,who,ironicallyenough,should havebeenalittlemoregenerouswithhisOldSpicedeodorantandperhapsgiventhoughttoashower,too I know it's hard, Gary, but come on! she thinks,rollingher eyes.Edna isn'tsure whichis worse,the overpoweringfloral scent,whichshe is prettysuresmellslikeChanelNo 5,orthepungentbodyodorcomingdirectlyfromGary'sunderarms
Edna completes her errands without anysignificant hurdles She was disappointed whenthe post office did not have the springtulippostagestampsinstock,soshehadtosettleforthewildlifeonesinstead.Buck'spharmacywasoutofherfavorite brandoftissues,sosheboughtthegenericonesthatirritatehernose Withallergyseasoninfullswing,thatwillcomebackto bite her inher perfectlyround well, youknow. While ringingup her groceryorder atPop's Market, Jackie, the lifelong cashier,couldnotgetoneofEdna'scouponstoscanthroughtheregister.SinceJackiewastheonlycashieropen,alinebegan toform,soEdnatoldhernottoworryaboutiteventhoughshemostcertainlywas Ednathoughtaboutthedamncouponallthewayhome.Whycouldn'tJackiehavedeductedthedollarsomeotherwaywith herpointypinkfingernails?SheswearsthatsometimesJackietap-tap-tapsonthosebuttonssofastthatsheonlywantstodraw attentiontoherfreshmanicure.Don'tthosemachinesallhaveoverridebuttonsforsituationsjustlikethat?GoodoldPopbetter gethisequipmentinorder,orhe'sboundtopissoffanovertiredmotherwithacartfullofkidsandalackofpatience Justafterthreeo'clock,HaroldpullsrightuptoEdna'smailboxandhelpsheroffthebus,ensuringshe'srememberedtotake allherpurchases.Heoffersassistancetothedoor,butEdnatellshimsheisokay.Inside,shefindsDaisysprawledacrossthe kitchenfloor ina puddle ofsun,blinkingsleepily Edna greets her,butit's as ifshe doesn'tevenremember thatEdna's been
gone for the lastseveral hours. She unloads her grocerybags and tucks her stamps awayinher antique roll-top deskbefore changingintosomethingalittlemorecomfortabletoworkinhergarden.
SheandDaisymuckthroughthebackyardtogether,admiringthepurplelilacsthatarejustbeginningtocomebacktolife The groundsquishesbeneathEdna'swater clogs,andwhenshelooksdownatDaisybyher feet,shewishestheymadelittlerain galoshesforcats Wouldn'tthatbesomething?SheisgoingtohavetocleanupDaisy'spawslater Ednaperusesthelonglineof flowerbedsthatadornthebackofherhouse.Themulchwillneedsometouchingup,butshe'shappytoseethatherbulbsare beginningto produce She was startingto worrytheywouldn'tcome up atall She will have tall tulips and brightdaffodils beforelong.
Movementcatchesherattentionoutofthecornerofhereye.Hergoodeye,thatis.SheglancesovertofindMaxontheback porchofArchie'shouse,deeplyengrossedinhisportablecomputer It'soneofthosefoldablethingsyouseepeoplecarrying around inbriefcases. His hair is messy, no pomade today, and whatever he is doingmustbe importantbecause his eyes are gluedtothegadgetlikeanakedwomanonapole EdnanoticesBaxter runtohim,droppingastickathisslippersunder the patiotable.Maxstill doesn'tseethatBaxterwantstoplay,soinstead,thedogturnsaroundandgoesbacktotheyardtofind somethingelsetodo
Edna can'tfigure outwhyshe is somesmerizedbythese two.Perhaps because she's livedalone for solong,this is like a realitytelevisionshowplayinginfrontofher.Neitherthemannorhisdogisallthatinteresting,butshe'sdrawntothemallthe same Maxcontinuespunchingkeysonhiskeyboard;thetap-tap-tappingremindsherofJackie Shepushesthatthoughtaway, notwantingto go downthatroad again. Her eyes find Baxter, the brownand white blob thatshuffles around the lawn. She watcheshimquietlyashedigsaholeinabarepatchofdirt Hesniffshisfinishedproduct,issatisfiedwithajobwelldone, andthenmovestenfeetinadifferentdirectionanddoesitagain. Oh my, Ednathinks.Whatashame.Thesecondholeistwice thesizeofthefirst.He'sfastforhavingsuchshortlegs.WhileEdnafiddleswithherflowers,Baxtercontinueshismischievous cultivatingofthelawnand,beforelong,hasseveralmoreholesstarted.
EdnarecallsMaxtellingherthatBaxterwouldbe no trouble Thathewas lazy Ha!Thatdogisfar fromit It'smorelike hellonwheelsifyouaskEdna.Shebetternotcatchthatdogdiggingupherpreciouspetals,ortherewillbehelltopay. When she feels her stomach rumble with hunger, she goes inside and fixes half of a turkey sandwich with a scoop of macaronisaladontheside Itwillgivehergas,butmostthingsdo,sosheeatswhatshewants There'snooneheretoremind her that air biscuits are incredibly unladylike. She fixes Daisy her pate, and they feast in silence, just like they do most evenings
Afterdinner,theyfollow nearlythesameroutinetheydoeveryothernightoftheyear.EdnabrushesDaisy,listeningtothe steadypurr fromher chestwhile theysittogether and watchWheel ofFortune She cycles a load oflaundryand gets into a cleannightgown;tonight'sisivorywithburgundyrosesandtinypearlbuttonsatthetop.It'selegant,shethinks.Somethingthe Queenmightwear.Shesitsatthediningroomtableandcompletesacrosswordpuzzlebeforecleaningherdenturesandfilling aglasswithroom-temperaturewaterforherbedsidetable
Thenshe climbs into bed. This is usuallythe onlytime ofthe dayexhaustionfinds her. Edna doesn't allow herselfmuch downtime She keeps busy; she has to Otherwise, her mind would wander to all the places she usuallydoesn't let it The exhaustiondictatesnotthatsheisgettingolderandabletodolessthanshemayhavebeenfiveyearsagobutinsteadreminds hertofindcomfortintheheavy,tiredfeelinginherbonesbecauseitmeanssheis living
Otherpeopleheragesometimesaren'tsolucky.
Butalongwiththeexhaustion,usually,thisisthetimeofdaywhenthe other feelingcomes.Theonethatshetriestoedgeout duringthedaybykeepingherdaysfilledwithDaisy,errands,hergardens,andherbooks It'sthefeelingthatshe'sownedher wholelife,theonethatshe chose,eventhoughpartsofitchoseher.
As Edna's eyes flicker tosleepinthe quiethouse she's kepttoherselffor somanyyears,comfortwarms her fromwithin. KnowingthatMaxisnextdoorfeelsalittlebitlikerelief,andforthefirsttimeinalongtime,shefallsasleep,notmindingthat she'snottotallyalone.
Chapter Four
December
1952
Dear Diary,
I miss Mother terribly. Father said we would forget how much it hurts as time passes, but he's wrong. What does he know? And who is he to tell us how we are supposed to feel? Most nights, he barely speaks to us All Bea does is cry, and getting her to eat and go to school is hard. I'm only twelve years old, and I'm not ready to handle this load on my own. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do I feel like I can't keep up The washing, cooking, and going to the market so we have food to eat. I have to ensure Bea is bathed, gets to school, and practices her math skills at home because Mrs. Georgia said she was in danger of falling behind. I have to hold her until she falls asleep at night, and I really wish someone were there to hold me, too My life feels as tangled as Bea's hair was last night Everything feels crossed and backward and wrong Why did Mother have to die? Tonight, I burned Father's meat on the stove, and he was angry that I had not pressed his clothes by the time he got home from work I wish I could make things look as easy as she once did She knew just how to run things. She knew how to keep Father happy. I wish I could ask Mother how to fix everything. But she's not here… and I feel so lost I feel like I'm failing Bea She needs me But I don't think I can do this I don't know how Mother, please send me a sign I need your help now more than ever
Love always and ever after,
Edna
Chapter Five
Holey Sunday
Edna looks forward to Sundays as muchas she looks forward to seeingwhatVanna White will be wearingeachnighton WheelofFortune.TheybothmakehergiddyandaresuretobringoutahintofexcitementthatsheonlyallowsDaisytosee. SundayistheonlydayEdnaallowsherselftosleeppasteightinthemorning Theothersixdaysoftheweek,shesetsher alarmto keep her schedule the same and to accomplishthe most out ofeachday. She feels this regimenhas kept her body healthyandhermindsoundovertheyears.Sundays,though,aremeantforrest,self-careandenjoyment,anddoingthingsthat aren'tonato-dolistorcalendar.Usually,shemakesherselfbreakfast,takesawarmbath,hasasnoozeortwo,andspendsthe afternoonreadinginherlazychairbeforemakingherselfdinneranddessert.
Shehadtolearnfrugalitybeforeeverlearningtodriveacar.Attheageoftwelve,herfatherhandedherthemeagerwages hecouldspareafter gettingpaidfromthe butcher shopandtoldher she was now incharge ofputtingfoodonthe table.She knewbetterthantoprotesthisword.Hewasneverhomemuchforherandheryoungersister,Bea.Therefore,Ednaknewthat iftheywantedtoeat,shewouldhavetolearnhowtoshopandcookonherown.
Since her mother had died years before, itwas Edna who woke up earlyeachmorningto stoke the fireplace so the chill wouldburnoffthecold,plankedfloorsoftheirapartment.Ednaputthekettleonandputabowlofwarmoatmealinhersister's stomachbeforetheywalkedtoschool eachmorning Amileandahalfoneway BeawasonlytwoyearsyoungerthanEdna, butshewasstill verymuchalittlegirl.Ednaquicklymaturedintoamaternal role,althoughitinitiallydidn'tcomenaturally. Howcouldit,whenshewasstillachildherself?Beawouldcrywhenshedidn'tfeelwellorhadtroublewithherstudies.She wouldthrashinthenight;thenightterrorsEdnacouldonlyassumewereduetothegrieftheywereexperiencing.Ednawould wrapherarmsaroundhersisterandholdheruntil theywouldpass,oftennevergettinganysleepforherself.Ednaknew she wouldneverfillhermother'sshoesbutdidherbesttotry
Even though Edna isn't scraping by anymore, she still finds comfort in meal planning for herself, shopping according to what'sonsaleversushercravings,andreligiouslyusingcouponsfromtheSundaypaper.Shethinks,inaway,sheonlydoesit becauseitremindsherofthoseyearsofheradolescencewhenshehadafamily orwhatwasleftofitanyway Backwhen shehadsomeonetotakecareof.Someonewhodependedonher.Someonewholovedher.
AllthreeofthosepeopleareBea
Theskyisovercasttodayasshewalkstohermailboxtoretrievethepaper.Daisywatchesherfromthewindow,hergray tail swooshingbackandforthbriskly.Ednagrumbles,knowingthatDaisyisprobablyleavinglittlekittynoseprintsall over thewindowpane Ifonlyshecouldteachacathowtouseglasscleaner
SherubsthesorespotoverherheartasshethinksaboutBea.TheheartbreakitcausedherwhenBeafellsick.Theshattering ofher world when, justsixdays after that, Bea died inthe arms oftheir father inthe middle ofa cold winter's night Edna remembersbeingangryatthefactthatitwashisembraceshewaswrappedinasshetookherlastbreath.Itshouldhavebeen her,butFathertoldhertostayintheotherroom Sheshouldhavedemandedtostay Knockeddownthewallandbeenbyher side,despitewhathe'dsaid.Itisthebiggestregretofherlife.ShewastheonewholovedBeawholeheartedly.Maybeitwas okaythatherfatherwastherewhenshetookherlastbreath,butshedeservedtobetherewithhertoo.
Edna blamed herselffor a longtime, notfor Bea catchingthe flu, because thatisn'tanyone's fault. She couldn'tsleep for monthsafterward,missingthefamiliarwarmthofhersister'stinybodyinthetwinbedtheyusedtoshare Sheobsessedover thelittledetailsthatseemedsobigatthetime.Sheshouldhavemadeabetterefforttobreakherfever.Sheshouldhavespoonfedhermorebrothtokeepherstrengthup Sheshouldhavenoticedwhenthesoundofhercoughturnedfrombadtoworse She shouldhaveknownthatsomethingdidn'tfeelright.Sheshouldhavebeggedherfathertobringthedoctorbackforanotherlook, eventhoughitwasthelastthingtheycouldafford.
Butmostly,EdnaresentedhimforgettingupandreturningtoworktwodaysaftertheysaidtheirgoodbyestoBea.Twodays! StanleyEdletonwasn'ttheworstfathertheycouldhavehad,butheneverwentoutofhiswaytotellthemtheywerethemost importantthinginhislife,either.AfterBeadied,herfatherchangedagain.Hebecamecolderandmoregruesome.Hebecame evenmorewithdrawnfromEdna,workingmoreandcominghomeless.JustmonthsafterEdna'ssixteenthbirthday,shearrived homefromschooloneday,restlessandtiredfromthelongwalkhome.Whensheslippedinsidetheirapartment,instantly,she knew. She didn'tneed to see the emptysuitcase strewnacross her father's bed, clothes haphazardlytossed about. She could sensethattheleatherduffelbagthattypicallyhungonhisdoorwasgone Shedidn'tneedtoreadthenoteheleftonthetableto confirmitall.
Ednacursesunderherbreath Thisiswhathappenswhenshe'sdaydreaming Hermindwanders,andprettysoon,itlandsher inapickle.Whensheallowsherselftoreminisceaboutherbelovedsisterandwhensheremembersthescarsherfatherlefther with,eachone pokes ather like the pricklyspine ofa cactus Theyhurttotouch Theycloudher focus,leavingher jumbled memoriesofthemanshedesperatelywantedtolovebutisn'tsureifsheevertrulydid.
Thatcan'tbenormal,canit?
Forachildnottoknowthefeelingoflovetowardaparent?
Forachildtohavetohandleanenormousoverloadofloss?
"Well, this is just fantastic," Edna hisses, snappingbackto reality She tries to roll herself to a sittingpositionbut can't becauseherrightwristisinextremepain.Shecanbarelyseeherleftfoot,butthathurts,too.
Thepainisfresh Piercing.
Throbbing.
All she canthinkaboutis how inthe world she will cutcoupons withher lefthand Itmightprove to be impossible She releasessomeairfromhercheeksandtriestogetupagain.Shemaybeeighty-three,butsheisstillactiveandspry.Oratleast she was, up until now She manages to halfsitup bypushingup withher other hand Her eyes narrow inonher leftankle, which,likeherwrist,alsoswellsuplikeagrapefruit.SheglancesatDaisyinthewindow,whodoesn'tseemtheslightestbit fazedbyherperformance "Edna?"avoicecallsfrombehindher."Areyoualright?"
Before answering, she hears the swishofhis footsteps scrapingacross the grass. Max. She sighs. She's not embarrassed aboutfalling;she'sjustannoyedwithherselffornotwatchingwhereshewasgoing Likethoseyoungwhippersnappersdoat theshoppingcenter alwaysontheirphoneswhilepushingashoppingcart.Sheusuallygetstheurgetoslapthedangthings outoftheirhandsandshout, "Pay attention, Nimrod!" "I'mfine. Just lost my balance, I suppose," she answers when he reaches her. She hopes that he doesn't think she has a drinkingproblem,especiallybeforenoononaSunday.
Edna is feelingjustfine, other thanthe pain. Anice pour ofwhiskeyinher eveningtea should do the trick. She knows it wasn'tsomesortofmedicalevent.Shedoessuspectshetripped,althoughshehasn'tbeenabletodecipherwhatthecausewas justyet Thelastthingshewantsistohaveastrangerputtinghishandsonher,liftingherlikeshe'ssomesortofinvalid,butshe alsoknowsthatshecan'tdoitonherown.Andthereisnooneelsehere,so…
She looks downat her foot, testingher weight onit The outcome isn't good What's evenworse is that now that she is standing,shecanseetheculpritforthecauseofherfall.There,byherswollenankleandjustunderthebaseofhershoe,isa holethesizeofabasketball
A fire spreads through Edna's chest She is angry Just when she was inching toward accepting her new neighbor Foolishness, she thinks. She should have known better. Maybe she wasn't paying attention to where she was going, but dagnabbit, if that pesky dog hadn't gone digging up the gorgeous greenery on Whipple Road, she wouldn't be in this predicamentinthe firstplace!She narrows her eyes atMax, tensionboilinginside ofher "This is all your fault,"she says, attempting to limp away from him. "You and your pooping, digging dog," Edna huffs, suddenly feeling very tired and lightheaded "Justlookatme I'mallbustedup!HowamIsupposedtocutcouponsnow,huh?"
Maxlooks downatthe hole inthe ground. Shame spreads across his face. He looks up ather, a bitconfused aboutwhat coupons have to do withanyof this. "Edna, I'mso sorry. I'mgoingto make this right. I'mtakingyouto the hospital to get checkedout.I'llpayforeverything."
"Nonsense,child.Ihaveafinedoctorandhealthinsurance,althoughit'snotverygood.Ihavenointentionofseeingoneof thoseschmucksupatthemedicalcenter Helpmeinside,I'llringDoctorSmall,andwe'llsortthisout" Maxstays byEdna's side as she limps toward her house, gingerlyholdingher injured wristagainsther chest. "Edna, it's Sunday Idon'tthinkyourdoctor'sofficewillbeopentoday"
He'ssmart thisone.
Aquickthinker.
Whydidn'tEdna thinkofthat? Maybe she did hither head. She lets outa breathoffrustration, and withitcomes another sensationofpain.Maxlooksatherexpectantly,hishandsoutstretchedaroundher,readytocatchherincaseshefallsagain. Shebarelymakesittothewoodenbenchinfrontofthehouseandnearlycollapsesintoit Shefeelsbetteronceshesits Max isright.DoctorSmall'soffice is closedtoday.ShehearsDaisybehindhermeowagainsttheglass.Thatcatisasmouthyasa Siamese HalfthetimeEdnawishesshecoulddecipher whatsheissaying Shecanjustimagine Sheinspectsher wristand ankleagain,decidingwhetherornotthiscanwaituntiltomorrow.Butevenifshedid,howwouldshegetthere?Theseniorbus doesn'trunonMonday.Shesighs."Fine.Youcantakeme,"sheagreesskeptically,"butIgettopicktheradiostationinthecar. I'mnotlisteningtoanyofthathippityhopcrapyoukidslistentothesedays"
"Come in," Maxsays, openingthe door for her while pressinghis tall frame into the corner to allow her space to entertheroomforthesecondtimeinthreehours.
"It's Ms Edleton,"Ednacorrectshersharply.Peoplealwaysassumethatbecauseshe'sold,she'smarriedandhasahealthy familytreebeneathher.Kids.Grandkids.Niecesandnephews. Shehasnosuchthing.
"Pleaseforgiveme, Ms Edleton YourX-rayscameback Thegoodnewsisyourankleisjustsprained Anorthopedicboot castshoulddothetrickforthat.Wecanalsosetyouupwithacanetohelpsteadyyourbalancewhileyougetusedtowalking around if you'd like The bad news is that your wrist sustained a fracture I don't thinkit will require surgery; however, it wouldbebesttoimmobilizeit."
"I'mnot hismother Idon'thavechildren,"Ednainterrupts Itcomesoutharsh,andsheknowsit Jeepers, this woman! She thinks she has Edna all figured out, doesn't she? Her ignorant assumptions cause an immediate reaction of dislike. An uncomfortabletensionfillstheroom,andEdnawatchesthemtossglancesbackandforthbetweenoneanother,wonderingwho mightdaretospeaknext. Oh, beans "He's myneighbor."Sherelaxes andsoftens her tone,her eyes dartingaroundtheroom uncomfortably.
"Let'smakeyouafollow-upappointmentina few days.Thatwillallow theswellingtogodownsowecanensureitdoesn'tneedaplastercast.Ifyouexperiencealotof long-termpain,we'lltalkaboutphysicaltherapy."
Thedoctorslipsoutagainafterpromisingthathermedicalassistantwillreturnshortlytofitherforabootandgetheronher way Edna knows thatreallymeans itwill likelybe another couple ofhours Edna has offered several times for Maxto go homewithouther,butherefuses.
Hesaidalltheappropriatethingslike I'm not leaving you, Edna, or no, I'm absolutely staying, or you shouldn't be alone. The truthis havinghimhere was justas muchuncomfortable as itwas comforting She didn'twantto be alone, and she did needaridehome,soshedidn'tpushtheissue.
Ednaisjustgladthatherinjuriesarewheretheyare,andnotsay,forexample,onhertailboneorribsorsomething Thenshe wouldhavebeenforcedtoputononeofthosegod-awful Johnnygowns sotheycouldhavealookather.Ineither scenario, tailboneorribs,Maxwouldhavegottenafront-rowtickettoashowhedidn'tpaytosee Thosepeepshowgownsshouldbe outlawed. Edna always wonders who lastwore the dangthing. Were theya victimofa stabbing? Did theysoil themselves? Givebirth?Or,heavenforbid,diewearingthedamnthing?Ednashuddersjustthinkingaboutit.
alwayswisetoknowwhoyourneighborsare.Maxisthirty-eight,anonlychild,anddoesn'teatvegetables.Notasingleone. That almost made Edna laugh, but she held it in. He loves dogs (obviously), he adores his job, and he loves to read. She learnedMaxmovedtoWilliamsvillefromProctor,Vermont,wherehelivedwithhisparents Hedefensivelyexplainedthathe didn't live withtheminthe stereotypical sort ofway. Youknow, playingvideo games fromtheir basement withhis mother servinghimdinneronaTVtray Itwasn'tlikethat Heexplainedthathehasbeenworkinghardtobuildhissavingstoliveon hisownand,mostimportantly,adoptachild.
That took Edna by surprise She didn't expect it, not froma guy like him He's quiet Nerdy Shy She can't picture him changingdiapers,swingingabaseballbatinthefrontyard,orplayingdress-up.
ShesupposesMaxisgrowingaccustomedtoheroddcharacter,nowhavingwatchedherinteractwiththenursesanddoctor duringthiswholeescapade Maybeaftertellinghimalittleaboutherpast,hewillunderstandwhyEdnaisthewaysheis He didcommentonher taste inmusic onthe wayhere.Whenshe chose anoldies stationandher favorite Ella Fitzgerald song came on, he commented how soulful Ella's voice sounded Edna looked outher window to hide her smile because thatwas preciselywhathermotherusedtosay.
"Thank you," Edna says restlessly The words feel foreign on her tongue She tries to hide her discomfort by shifting positionsinthepassengerseatbutfindsshecan'texactlymoveaswellasshedidyesterday.
Max nods, letting his gaze wander throughout the half-empty emergency roomparking lot His eyes graze over cars and peoplewhoarepurposefullycomingandgoing."Itwas notrouble,Edna,really.SinceBaxter is responsiblefor this,Iwant you to know I will fix the holes he dug in your yard, and mine, for that matter, and I would be glad to take you to your appointmentsandhelpyououtathome.Whateveryouneed."
It's her turn now to deflect his words with the distraction of the passersby. She doesn't want to accept his help just yet becausethat'snotherway She'sstubborn Ado-it-yourselfer EdnahasalwaysbeenabletotakecareofEdna,upuntil now Anythingelse has never beenanoption. Butthe truthis, she didn'tmind havinghimaround today. She didn'tevenmind him being in the examroomwith her all that much Deep down, she knows she needs his help; the little reminder card in her pocketbookproves it,sayingthather nextappointmentis onThursday.Sheknows shehas notransportationtogetthere.She thinksMaxknowsthat,too.Shedarestolookathimoutofthecornerofhereye,herlipstwistingintosomethingresemblinga gratefulsmile "Thanks,"Ednasays
Theyoungwoman,wholooksyoungerthanhim,pacesaroundhim,tryingtocalmhimdown She'spetiteandmuchshorter thanhim. Or maybe it's justhow the manangrilytowers over her thatmakes her seemso small. "It'll be fine, Blake. Calm down!Youcan'tputthis all onme,"shesaysbreathlessly.Shepullshersweateraroundherchestandfoldsherarmsinfrontof her
"Jesus, Hailey!"His voice booms like thunder, and itstartles the youngwoman. The manlunges for her, takingher bythe shoulders, and begins shakingher while he screams ather some more Edna is horrified, she's never seenanythinglike this happeninbroaddaylightbefore,especiallyinhersafe,smalltown,butshehearsaboutthissortofthinghappeningallthetime onthenews.
Maxjumpsoutofthecarandrunsintheirdirection.Ednagroans,notdisapprovingofhisintenttogetinvolvedbecauseshe is worried for the girl, but she hopes he knows what he's doing. It's risky to interfere with people's business nowadays.
Edna watches as Maxsteps betweenthem. His backis to Edna, but she cantell he's sayingsomethingto the youngman, whichcauseshisfacetoturnevenmorefurious Hepuffsouthischestandgestureswildlywithhishands IfEdnahadtoguess, betweenthe two,Maxwouldbe the one walkingoutofa brawl witha blackeye.The younggirl starts tocry,wipingaway tearswhenMaxspeakstohernext Shetriestotameherlongblackhairasitwhipsinthewind,coilingitaroundoneofher fingers.Sheshakesherheadandshrinksawayfromherboyfriend,readjustingthebagonhershoulder.
Maxplacesagentlehandonthegirl'sshoulder,wholooksbrokenanddefeated,althoughalittlerelievedthatit'sover She shakes her headatwhatever Maxhas said.Maxremoves his walletfromhis backpocket.Edna expects tosee himgive her money,whichdoesn'tsitwellwithher,butthenagain,it'snothermoney sowhoisshetojudgewhatMaxdoes?Butit'snot moneyhehandsher.It'sasmallwhitecard.Atiny,tearfulsmilespreadsacrossherfaceassheacceptsit.Shelooksgrateful. Shemouthsthewords thank you tohim,andhesmiles.
The girl turns and walks backtoward the building, slippingbetweenthe glass doors thatopenfor her automatically She disappearsjustlikethat,almostlikeshewasneverthere.
Maxstands before her onthis Thursdaymorningwithhis usual sunnydisposition. He's wearingblackjeans and a whiteshirtwithasweatervestlayeredoverthetopofit Ednacan'tquitedecideifhelookslikehe'sabouttogoouton a date or teacha college course.He's certainlyholdinguphis endofthe bargain,goingoutofhis waytodote onher while she's recovering.He's checkedinonher everydaysince Sunday,never settingfootover the thresholdofher door,probably becauseEdnaneveronceinvitedhimin.Instead,he'daskhowshewasfeeling,ifthepainhadworsened,orifsheneededany help.He collectedher paper for her eachmorningand,onTuesday,broughther freshtriple-berryscones fromthe bakeryin town He practically begged her to give him a grocery list so he could collect a few things for her at the store, which, coincidentally,sheallowedhimtodosinceshewasinnoshapetotakethe senior bus intotowntogetthemherself.Harold mustbewonderingwheresheis
Max's smile fades awayand ifEdna didn't know anybetter, she might wager that he is disappointed inher declininghis invitation Helookslikeakidwhojustletgoofhisballoon
Thetruthis,Edna would liketogetoutofthehouse.She'srestlessandcouldusetheexercise.She'sjustnotsureshewantsto spend anymore time withMaxthanshe alreadyhas. Eventhoughhe's beeninsistentonhelpingher getto her appointments, takingouthertrash,andofferingtohelpinanywayhecan,she'sstartingtofeellikeabother It'safeelingthatEdnadoesn'tlike.
Edna inhales deeplyas theyenter the Williamsville Public Library. She notices Maxdoes the same. Maybe it's the smell of thousandsofpagesofpaperorthelingeringscentofinkthatbringsherpeace,butshehasappreciatedthearomaofbooksfor aslongasshecanremember It'scalmingandgentle Itslowshermind,remindingherthatbooksarethegreatestgiftknownto humankind. Theyteach. Theyinspire. Theybringcuriosityand imagination. Theyallow youto travel to places you'd never thoughtyou'dsee Theykeepyoucompanyonthebestandworstdaysofyourlife
SheintroducesMaxtoMarieRivers,thetownlibrarian,beforeshowinghimaroundabit.Fiction.Non-Fiction.Reference. Magazines and movies. The children's and youngadult sections are currentlyvacant as kids are still inschool. It takes her longerthanusualtodotheloopwithacaneinherhandandthisbootonherfoot,butsheisthankfulforthecushionitprovides herankle.Maxtakesitallin,admiringtheexpansivecollectionofliteraturethatMariekeepsuptodate.
EdnasitsintheantiquewoodenrockingchairundertheelectricfireplacetorestwhileMaxwandersaroundsomemore She watcheshimrunhisfingersalongthespines,pausingoccasionallytopulloutabookandreadtheblurbandsometimeseventhe firstpageortwo Ednaisgladtoseehe'snotoneofthosefewnimrodswhojudgesabookbythefrontcoverbeforeputtingit back.Helingersintheaislesofmysterynovels,thencruisesovertothenewreleasesection.Hehasafewbooksnestledunder hisarmbythispointbutdoesn'tseemtobedonejustyet.
Ednawonderswhysomeonehasn'tconsideredofferingshoppingcartsbythedoorforpatronstopushupanddowntheaisles and fill withbooks to take home And whyhasn't anyone thought of the idea of makinglibraries remainopentwenty-fourseven?Whatatreatthatwouldbe!Anoasisforthosetroubledbyinsomniatohaveanescapeatthreea.m.whentheyneeda waytocleartheirminds
Ednarollshereyes. Those damn glasses,shethinks.ButMariedoesn'tseemtonoticehisclunkymannerisms.Instead,she giggles like a junior highgirl witha crush The funnythingaboutitis Maxis clueless He doesn'tsee the waythatshe's lookingathim.Starsinhereyes,rougeinhercheeks,twistingthetoeofherballetflatintothecarpetasthoughsheisputting outacigarette.Marieisyouthfullyattractive,giventhatshejustturnedforty.Quitefrankly,Ednathinksshecouldstillpassfor thirtyifshewantedto Sheknowshowtodress,keepsherhairstylednicely,andmusthaveonehellofaskinregimenbecause herskinlookslikeliquidgold.
Ednarememberswhenthelibrarycommitteeinvitedthewholetowntoherbirthdaypartylastyear Ednadidn'tgobutheard the old needlepointhens talkingaboutitfor weeks afterward. Itwas the community's wayofthankingMarie for servingthe patronsofWilliamsvilleforthelasttwentyyears,withthehopeofherstickingaroundforanothertwenty Mariegrewuphere, graduatingfromthesmallhighschoolinthecenteroftownbeforeleavingforcollege.Assoonasshe'dgraduated,shelanded rightbackhere.Shedidn'tcarethattherewas agreat,bigworldoutsideofWilliamsville.Or hell,for thatmatter,there is a greatbigworldoutsideofVermont Mariewantedtobehere,specificallyinthepubliclibrary,whereshespentsomuchtime fallinginlovewithbooksasalittlegirl.
"Well, you should try this one," she says to Max, handing himthe book in her hand "Maybe we could meet for coffee afterwardtotalkaboutit?"Shebatsher perfectlycurledeyelashesathim,andthelookinher eyesremindsEdnaofthefirst timeshetalkedtoaboy
Asifstruckbylightning,MaxfinallyrealizesthatMarieisinterestedinhim.Ednasuddenlyenvisionshimtransforminginto a cartooncharacter. Heart-shaped eyeballs poppingoutofhis eye sockets. Thumpingred heartbeatingoutofhis chest. She raisesaneyebrow,wonderinghowhe'sgoingtorespond
Well, isn't that cute,Ednathinks. Mariesmilesathim,andEdnaisthoroughlyimpressed.Shedidn'tthinkhehaditinhim.
"As far as thecoffeegoes,I'll letyouknow I'mnotreallygoodwithconversations Or coffee,Itendtospill itmorethan drink it. If I were with a pretty woman like you, I would probably spill it on you, so I would just end up being an
embarrassment."Maxshakes his head,realizingthathe's alreadydughis owngrave sodeephe coulddie tentimes andstill haveroomleftovertodieonemoreembarrassing,slowdeath.
Marie's smile fades to nothing "Yes, well, maybe I'll see youaround then," she says before returningto anoverflowing librarycartofbooks.Theslumpinhershouldersistellingofherdisappointment.
Ednasighsalong,pitifulexhale Oh, Max, shethinks You were right there You were doing fine What happened? MaxandEdna checkouttheir books withJudy,one ofthe libraryvolunteers.Maxhas embarrassmentwrittenall over his face Marieisnowheretobeseen Perhapssheishidinginthesupplycloset,combingthroughthereasonswhyMaxturnedher down.SomethingEdnaissurethatsheisn'tusedto.
Ednaknowshowcomplicatedlovecanbe Afterherfatherlefther,Ednaspentthenexttwoyearsfinishingherstudies She neverhadtimetodatelikesomeoftheothergirlsinhergrade.Oh,howtheyusedtogushoverthebathroomsinkinthegirls' lockerroomafterphysicaleducationclassovertheirbeaus Theytooktheirtimeredressingintotheirlong,pleatedskirtsand tight cashmere cardigans, not in any hurry to get to their next class. Many were more interested in smoking their filtered cigarettesoutthesmallrectangularwindowfacingthewoodsbehindtheschool,theirruby-redlipstickstainingthewhitetipof their Marlboros Edna would listen to the gossip behind her locker, secretly envious about how far they'd gone with their sculpted boyfriends fromthe football team. Most of themthought getting to second base was news of the century. At this particulartimeinherlife,Ednahadzeroexperiencewithboys,notthatanyofthempaidheranyattentionanyhow
Even in her early adult years, she still avoided men for the most part. She had one boyfriend, Matthew, when she was twenty-four,butitonlylastedayearbeforehejoinedtheArmyandlefttown.Ayearlater,atapartyEdnadidn'twanttobeat inthefirstplace,shemetBruce Itwas1965,andshewasworkingasasecretaryforaninsurancecompany Herofficewas madeupofmostlymen,andsomeweren'tkeenonhavingawomanrunningthefrontofthebuilding,butEdnapretendednotto notice theywere alive She kepther head down, worked hard, and kissed her paycheckcome paydaybefore she had to turn around and spend itonlivingexpenses to keep her head above water. She worked full-time, bringinginbarelyseventy-five dollarsaweek,anditbarelycoveredherhalfoftherentofthedinkystudioapartmentsheandRosalindshareduptown.
Rosalind,whosatatthedeskoppositeheratthefrontoftheinsurancebuilding,wasabitofapartyanimal Shehadbeen afterEdnaallweektoseethisjazzbandplayatJeramiah's,theonlysorryexcuseforadivebarinOxfordCreek.Itwasmore likeashackwithacrookedfloor andabathroomthatdidn'tevenhaveadoor Therewasonlyacurtaintopull acrosswhen youhadtopee.Butthebeerwascold,andthemusicwasalwaysgood,andifyoudidn'tmindbeingsmooshedagainstsweaty strangers,thenitwastheplacetobeonaFridaynight Ednaonlywenttoputsomefoodinherstomachbecausesherarelyhad enoughmoneyleftoverforgroceries,butyoucouldbarelycalltheswampy-lookingbarpeanutsandpopcornapropermeal. Brucewasarealcharmer.TheirattractionwasaflurryofchemistrythatEdnahadneverfeltbefore.Shethoughtitwaslove atfirstsight Shebelievedhewasthemanthatwouldchangeherlife Hewastall,dark,andhandsome,justlikeoutofamovie He was confidentandhard-workingandspoiledher like she was the onlywomanonearth.Their love swallowedher hole, almostlikequicksand,butEdnadidn'tmindbecauseshefinallyhad someone Someone who wanted her Someone who was hungryforher.Someonewhotoldherthathelovedher.Andshecouldtellhowmuchhereallydid.Whenshewaswithhim, shebecameblindtoeverythingelsearoundher Shehadnoreasontoseeitbecausesheonlyhadeyesforhimandwhatthey hadtogether.
Itwas Edna's twenty-seventhbirthdaywhenshe'dfinallyworkedupthe courage toaskhimtomove inwithher.He spent mostnights ather apartmentanyhow,andEdna wantedtobe withhimall the time,notjustafew hours everynightwhenhe crawledintoher bed.Andwhileitwas confirmedthatBrucelovedEdnaexactlythewayshehadworshipedhim,therehad beena darksecretup his sleeve their entire relationship Itwas the nightofher birthdaythatshe found outBruce was still marriedtoawomanfromSouthJefferson.Shewasdevastatedtolearnthis,anditwasonlywhenshe'dmentionedhergrand ideaforthemtolivetogetherthathecameclean.Heapologizedrepeatedly,andEdnarememberssittingtherefeelingsostupid forbeingsuchafoolfortrustinghim.Forbelievinghim.Andforbeingblindedbyalovethatwasmadeoflies.
Fromthat dayforward, after a verylongand heartbreakingspiral into depressionand grief, Edna learned to love again However,fromthatdayon,lovelookedverydifferent.Shediscoveredhow totreasure things morethanpeople.Likehow a warmbathcouldwrapwarmtharoundyourskinbetterthanthearmsofanyman Thewaythesunrisecouldrechargeyoursoul after lyingawakeinbedthepreviousnightfromtoomanyworriesonyour mind.Thewayagoodbookcouldmakeyoufeel connectedtosomeonewheninrealityyouwereallalone
"Yeah, a couple offictionbooks and a bookongardening The librariansuggested the new thriller byPrestonMaddocks Thenshe asked me out." Worrylines crease his forehead. "Atleast, Ithinkthat's whatthatwas. Imade a complete fool of myselfandtoldher no whenIreallywantedtosayyes"MaxtossesEdnaaside-eye "She'sbeautiful" "Whydidyoutellhernoifyouwantedtogooutwithher?"Ednaasks,playingdumb.Maxdoesn'tknowshewitnessedthe wholethingfromafar.
Edna smiles at the windshield. Although she doesn't have expertise in the dating world, she can at least offer himthis. "Womenlikepersistence Sweetgestures Kindness Honesty And youcannever gowrongwithflowers,"shetellshim "So, maybeyoufudgedupyourfirstencounterwithMarie,butitdoesn'tmeanyoucan'tgobackandtryagain."
Edna'snotsurewhyshe'ssohellbentonplayingmatchmaker.MaybeitwasthewayheandMarielookedateachotherthat stirredsomethinginsideher PerhapsafterwhathappenedwithBruceandtheheartachesheexperiencedafteritwasover,she justwants tosave someone else fromfeelingthatlow.Maxseems tobe a goodman;he justneeds a gentle pushinthe right direction Itcan'thurtEdnatobetheonetonudgehim
Max hops out of the car to fetch a wheelchair to bring Edna to her appointment. She laughs gently as she watches him struggletounfoldtheonehe'schoseninsidethevestibule.It'sasoundshehasn'theardinalongtime.Howoddisithowmuch haschangedinjustafewweeks?Surely,sheneverthoughtanyofthiswouldhavehappened Butheresheis Herheartswells slightlywhenshethinksabouthowMaxhascaredforhersinceherfall.Shefeelsincrediblygratefultohavemethim,evenif hewasabitofasurpriseatfirst
"So, a book on gardening, huh?" she asks himas he helps her get seated in the wheelchair. She watches himfasten her pocketbookover the handles justlike she showed himlasttime Younever know whena purse snatcher mightstrike She's luckyshehasacanenowtowhipsomeoneinthekneesiftheytryanyfunnybusiness.
"That's right. IthoughtImightfind some useful tips inthere to spruce up Archie's yard. Youknow, make itfeel more like home"
Edna's smile grows wider thanit's ever beenfor two reasons. First, hearingthatMaxwants to gardenis music to Edna's ears She mightevenoffer himsome help After all, she knows a thingor two aboutflowers and shrubs Ifhe doesn'thave experience withpruningrose bushes, she's the best there is. She canevenremove a thornfromthe pad ofa finger without tweezers Thatwillcomeinhandy She'ssureofit
It's over with Bruce. I should have known better. I should have been smart enough to think I'd found a man who would stand by me I thought I knew him I did know him Everything we shared was authentic, but he had another side to him that I didn't know existed. He was two versions of a man who thought he could love two women at the same time. I guess that's the funny thing though…no matter how well you know someone and no matter how much you love someone, there is always the potential that they can break your heart. Why would I want to subject myself to that again? Rosalind says that I'm just in a place of deep sorrow right now and that, over time, it'll get better. That someone else will come along And maybe she's right, but my heart knows the truth What Bruce did was worse than a dagger straight through my heart. And sure, perhaps the pain will fade over time, but I know that I will never love another man the way I loved Bruce, so I'm committing myself to not even trying to find someone else I know I'm still young, but sometimes the damage done can't be fixed. Sometimes, after you've been burned too many times, those walls you put up get higher and higher, and when you stand there, staring up at them, you don't have the will or the desire to climb I've learned enough to know what it feels like when people leave Each time, it sends a reminder deep within my soul There are only so many times you want to set yourself up for a loss like that. It'll be better this way. Consider it a personal vow to stand on my own two feet. To look out for myself and no one else Making this decision never to love again is safer The wisest option It removes the possibility of ever feeling what I'm feeling right now.
Besides,Ednacouldtell Maxneededtimetocatchuponhisstuff.Maxworksfromhome,runninghisownsmall business fixingcomputers. He tried explainingto her what he did, but Edna mostlyjust nodded that she understood whenshe really didn'thavethefoggiestideawhathewastalkingabout.Whenshestampedherfootandsnappedathimto"Explainittomelike I'mfive,"he'dlaughedandreplied,"Basically,peopleshipmetheirbrokencomputers,andIfixthemandshipthemback"She couldsensehispassionforitbyhowhiseyeswentbig,hisfeetdancedabout,andhishandsgesturedwildlywhilehespewed terminologythatEdnahadneverheardof
Diagnosing internal system errors.
Repairing devices after malware infiltration
Maintaining The Cloud servers
Hmph. Edna aboutlaughed atthatone. Since whendo clouds have anybusiness withtechnology? They're inthe sky, for heaven'ssake!Butshethoughtitwasbetternottoaskanyfurtherquestions,sosheshuthertrapandletthatbetheendofit Edna'sfirststopisthelibrarytoreturnthebookshefinishedreadinglastnight.Thelibraryisempty;theoldhensmustbe gettingtheirhairstyledforthethirdtimethismonth Ednacan'trememberthelasttimeshesetfootinahairsalon Shedoesn't lovetheideaofsomegossipystrangercaressingherhead.Plus,someofthosechemicalstheyusesmelllikerotteneggs,and quitefrankly,Ednacan'tstandit.
Marie greets her atthe frontcounter withrouge cheeks, eyelids heavilysweptwitha lavender eyeshadow, and a cheerful smileshowingoffherperfectlywhiteteeth."Morning,Edna.Youfinishedthisonealready?" Is this woman ever not in a good mood? Edna thinks She can'timagine how tiresome itmustbe to strap ona happyface twenty-four-seven Marie takes the hardcoverbookfromEdnaandscansitunderthelittlebeeperthingamajiggybeforesettingitonawheeledcartbehindher.
"Yes, well," Edna gestures to her injuries, "I've had a bit more time to be sitting doing nothing lately with these new additionstomywardrobe."
"Idid,thankstomynewneighbor'sdog,whohasafetishfordiggingholesintheground"Ednadoesherbesttosuppressan eye roll, remembering the way Baxter practiced his skills in archaeology. She's sure no million-dollar fossils would be discoveredinArchie'sbackyard Ednasighs,relievedthatMaxhassincefilledinalltheholeswithtopsoilandcoveredthem withgrassseed.Heevenboughttheexpensivekind,KentuckyBluegrass.
"Oh, what an unusual last name," Marie remarks thoughtfully She rolls his name over her tongue "Fortune Fortune Hmmm,maybehe'safortuneteller?"Shegiggles.
I know what you've been looking at on your computer Don't worry, I won't tell anyone
You will learn to like me (and my dog), eventually "He'shandsome,isn'the?"Marieasks,daydreaming.HeseemedabitshywhenItalkedtohim.Itriedtogethimtomeetfor coffee,youknow,tochataboutbooks buthedidn'tseeminterested Isheinvolvedwithsomeone?"
EdnaisnotheretoplayCupid.She'sheretoreturnherbookandbeonherway.Butsomethingsoftensinher,sosheanswers Marie'squestionaskindlyandhonestlyaspossible "No,Idon'tsupposeheis He'sonhisown,fromwhatIknow Andyes,I thinkyou'reright.He'sjustabitclunkyregardingtheladies,soIwouldn'ttakeitpersonally. But hementionedthathethought youwerebeautiful."
Marie'scheeksturnpink "Didhenow?"
Edna senses someone has come up in line behind her, so she swipes a bookmark off the counter and slips it in her pocketbook Daisy likes to chew on the corner of them while she reads, and although it's just a placeholder, she doesn't appreciatethetinyteethmarksthatDaisyleavesbehind."I'msureyou'llbeseeingMaxagain.Justgivehimsometimetocome around Goeasyonhim,eh?Idon'tthinkhehasaladyresumelikethefootballteamquarterback"
Marie nods andwaves goodbye as Edna steps outofline andheads tothe door.She pulls her cardigantighter aroundher bosom.Theweathertodayisalittlecrisp.It'stypicalforlateMayweatherinNewEnglandtobeabitunpredictable.Asshe walks,shecountsonehundredandseventy-sixpacestothediner,whichisjustupMainStreetpastJimmy'sHardwareStore andthestinkyhairsalon.Shedoesn'tquiteworkupherheartratetodayasusual,probablybecauseofherslowerpaceandthe coolertemperatures
Inside the diner, she collapses into a boothinthe far corner. She moans quietlyunder her breath, mostlybecause she is disappointed by not breaking a sweat on the way over here, which means that she will only be ordering one slice of cheesecake,nottwo.
Asifoncue,thetall,sandy-hairedwaitressnamedSandyarrives,smackingherbubblegumsohardthatEdnathinksitmight falloutofhermouthandrollacrossthetable Herchippednailpolishsuggestssheworkstoomanyhourstoleaveherselftime toputonafreshcoat."Whatcanigetchahoney?"Itallcomesoutasonelong,jumbledwordlikeshedoesn'thavetimetostand hereall daywithEdna Shetaps her wornpencil againsther order pad,readytoscribble downEdna's request Edna rarely ordersabigmeal;typically,it'sjustteaanddessert.
Sandyreturnscarryingawornblacktray.First,sheslidesthecheesecakeinfrontofEdna.Atleastitlooksfresh.Next,she placesamugofsteaminghotwaterdownonthetable,andwhenshedoes,someofitsloshesovertherimofthecup,soaking the tea bag pouch Edna grimaces in annoyance, but she quickly retracts it when she sees that Sandy has remembered her Sweet'NLowandLandO'LakesMiniMoo'sHalfandHalfsingles.Ednausedtodrinkplaintea,butnowshecan'tlivewithout a dollopofcreamer tomake ita little bitricher Sandyevenputthemina little dishonthe side Lastly,she hands Edna the newspaperthatistuckedunderherarmpit.
Edna closes her eyes as the firstfew delicious forkfuls ofcheesecake slide downinto her belly She glances downatthe front-pageheadlines,butnothingcatcheshereye.
Burlington's Mayor resigned from office a year and a half before his term ended due to health reasons Oxford County 10k race is scheduled for the first weekend in June, and town officials are eager for a boost in the local economy.
Hereyeswanderaroundthedineragainassheplacesthenextbiteofcheesecakeinhermouth,butshestopschewingwhen someonecatchesher eyeintheoppositecorner oftherestaurant.Awoman,slightlyturnedawayfromthecrowd,towardthe window thatoverlooks the street She looks a bitfrumpy,likea loadoflaundrythatsatovernightinthe dryer withoutbeing foldedrightaway.Her hair is stringyandcovers her faceas shelooks downatthetableinatrance.Aglass ofwater anda smallbasketofFrenchfriessitinfrontofher,mostlyuntouched.
Itdoesn'ttakeEdnalongtofigureoutwhosheis
It'sthegirlfromtheparkinglotoutsideherappointmentlastweek.Theonewhowasinaheatedargumentwiththemanthat peeledoutandlefther there The one Maxgotoutandspoke with,the one he handedsomethingto IfEdna isn'tcompletely losinghermarbles,shethinksshemightevenbewearingthesameoutfitshehadonfivedaysago.
Edna loses her appetite as she mulls this over, so she pushes her plate to the edge of the table. Edna's mind tumbles in distress.Whatisshedoinghere?Whydoesshelooksodisheveled?Whydohereyeslooksosad,likeshe'slostatsea?Does she live aroundhere,andifso,whyhasn'tshe gone home? IfMaxwere here,he'dprobablywalkrightover there andmake
Edna hates when people assume (which is precisely what she's doing right now), but she can't help but feel like her assumptionsaboutthegirlarecorrect.Perhapsshe'llpopoveronMax'sdoorstepandcasuallymentionthatshesawtheyoung girlatthediner Butifshe'sgoingtodothat,shemightaswellnotethatthepoorthinglookedlikeshehadn'tseenashowerora goodnight'ssleepindays.Edna'snotquitesurewhyshefeelstheurgetodoit,maybebecausesheknowsMaxwould want to know.Perhapsit'sbecausethegirlremindsherofhersister,Bea.Theybearaslightresemblancetoeachother:aslendernose, longdarkhair,andpaleskin
ButifthereisonethingthatEdnahaslearnedaboutMax,he always knowswhattodo.He'scool,likeacucumber.Hehasa gentlenessabouthimthatmakesEdnafeellikeeverythingwillbeokay.Healwayshasasolution.Soquickandwillingtolend a hand. Perhaps that's whyhe does what he does for a living. He's used to fixingthings, whether it be computers or other people'sproblems.
EdnacanonlyhopethatitwillbenodifferentwhenshegetshometotellMaxaboutfindingthegirlatthediner Maybehe canfindher,puta warmmeal inher belly,andthengive her a ride towherever she needs togo.Lordknows the girl needs somethingmorenourishingthanFrenchfriesinherstomach Maybehewillofferhersomemoneytohelphergetonherfeet Hopefully,Maxcanfindawaytosoothehertroublesaseasilyasheseemstofixeverythingelse.
Edna leaves the diner, gripping a twenty-dollar bill in her hand. She sees Harold parked up ahead in a spot reserved specificallyfor the senior bus, patientlysittingbehind the steeringwheel, readingthe paper. It's notquite time for departure yet, butEdna is desperate to go home as soonas possible. She needs to getto Max. Edna knows how valuable time canbe whensomethingisn'tright Afterall,lookwhathappenedtoBea Butthistime,Ednahasaplan.
Sometimes,youhavetotakemattersintoyourownhands
"Afternoon,Edna,"Haroldgreetsher,tippinghishatlikeagentlemanasshecarefullyclimbsthethreeblack-treadedstepsof thebus.She'sneverentirelyunderstoodwhyHaroldwearsacowboyhat;thisisn'tTexasforcryingoutloud.However,itsuits him He'shandsome,withthicksaltandpepperhairandafullmustachethatmakestheladypassengersswoon ButHaroldis happilymarriedtohiswife,Sharla,whojustsohappenstobethePostmasterintown. Ednaisgladtoseenoneoftheothershaveboardedyet Thisconversationwill needsomeconvincing,andEdnaisn'tsure howfarshe'llhavetogotogethimonboard.
Ednastiffenswhenshefeelsthecushionbelow herbottomsquish,themovementmakingher thinkthatsomeonehasjoined seatswithher,butwhensheturns,nooneisthere It'sthestrangestsensationEdnahaseverfelt It'slikesomeoneissittingwith her; she can sense their warmth and smell their skin, sweet like honeysuckle. Bea always smelled like honeysuckle lotion becausetheirmotherusedtoplasterherwithiteveryeveningsinceBea'sskinwasalwayssodry Ednaremembershermother alwayskeptthelittleglassjarwithayellowandwhitecheckeredlidonherbedsidetable.
Ednadecidestorollwiththememory,allowingherselfjustthisonce,toimaginethatit is Bearidingalongwithheronthis beautiful springday.After all,whatcanithurttoimagineonceinawhile?InsteadofBeabeingtakenfromher,she's grown intoahealthyadultandhasbeenverymuchapartofEdna'slifethisentiretime.They'reclose,assistersshouldbe,sharing everything that crosses their minds, keeping secrets, and sharing dreams Always having each other's backs They're inseparable,justasEdnaalwaysdreamedthey'dbe.
Today, they've had the perfectday Lunchatthe diner, a walkthroughthe mom-and-pop shops intown, one ofwhichthey boughtanew jigsaw puzzletoworkontogether.Theylaughedandenjoyedthesunshine,stoppinghereandtheretochatwith theotherladieswhowereoutdoingthesametypesofthings Theirdemeanorischeerfulandfun,andEdnais,ofcourse,the completeoppositeofwhosheisinreality,butnoneofthatmattersbecausethisis real,orsoEdnawishessobadlytobelieve. ShecanpicturethemgoinghomenowtobringDaisyintothegardentochasebirdsandbaskinthesunwhilesippingicedtea andreminiscingaboutthegoodolddays
