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Theysayeverygirldreamsaboutherweddingday,butwhoare they,andhowdo they know?Didtheyintervieweverygirl? Also,screwthatlie
Ineverdreamedofthis.
I’m in the musty, wood-paneled bridal room at the non-denominational neighborhood church where my parents were hitchedandwheremymomstillservesaschorusdirector.Ipeerdownatthelaceandtulledressthatfeelstoolongasitgrazes myankles,thediamondsolitaireonmyringfingerthat’satouchtooloose,thentheprincess-cutlacebodicethat’stooprettyfor mytaste.
I put all my energy on themand their unmatching black dresses I let thempick their outfits because have you seen bridesmaid’sdresses?“Youbothlookamazing,”Isay,sincewhyfocusonmewhenIcanfocusonothers?
“Ifyouneedanything,justsaytheword,”Ivyputsin,thenpointstothedoor “Rideordie” Thatofferisfartootempting,butIreallyshouldn’tgothere,eveninmyhead. Aiden’stheguyforme Hehasbeensincewewenttopromtogethertenyearsago Sincewedatedagainwhenhereturned to DuckFalls brieflyafter college. And since mywise old dad withthe soft, squishyheart told mymomhe thought Aiden wouldbetheperfecthusband
But what if friendly, outgoingAidenPeters, who returned to townlast year to runhis family’s pie shop, isn’t the guyI shouldmarry?Mygutchurns.Ihatemakingascene,butsurely,TrinaandIvywillhavetheanswer.“Girls,I’mnotsureifI ” Thedoorswingsopenwithaloud thunk,thewoodslappingthewallbehindit Ivyflinches.Trinasnapshergazetotheslimguyinjeansandapolo,asmatteringoffrecklesacrosshisfaircomplexion, hisblondhairincongruouslymessyfortoday.Aiden’shereandhe’snotwearinghistux. Ivywhipsoutanarm,pointingtothedoor.“Rules,Aiden!Youcan’tseeAubrey.”
“And hello? Putyour freakingtuxon,” Trina jumps in, like she can’tbelieve sweet, teddy-bear Aidenforgotto donhis duds “You’regettingmarriedintenminutes”
Aidenplucksathislavenderpastelshirt,like this thing? “Actually,IthinkIlookprettygoodfortoday.” Istartle, his odd commentand odd demeanor knockingme further offmygame “W-whatdo youmean?” Istammer, but there’saweirdlyshamefulhoperisinginsideme.
“Yeah.Whatdoyoumean?”Trinademands.
With his best customer-service-in-a-small-town smile, Aiden grabs the door handle, then shows them the way out. “I promiseI’llbequick,ladies Ijustneedateenysecondwiththebride” Notmybride. The bride. Thathoperisesalittlehigher.
Trinaarchesabrow Ivypracticallygrowlsathim,thensnapshergazebacktome “Whatwereyougoingtosay?” “I’ll tell youlater,”Isaytomyfriends,reassuringthem.Truthis,I’mdyingtoknow whyAiden’s heredressedlikethat. Dear god, please say he cheated on me Stole from me Fell in mad love with the wedding planner and is running away with her.
Thereitis.Thelinethatprecedesthedump.Myheartbeatsfaster. Bring it on. Tell me you ’ ve been making lattes after dark with the coffee shop owner down the block so I can throw things at you indignantly, like that candle on the coffee table or the songbook “Andyou’reseriouslyhot,”hesays
Wait.He’ssupposedtofeelguiltyasheadmitshecheatedlikeaselfishjackass.“You’recomplimentingmebeforeyou ” “ Yes, Iam,” he says, so matter-of-factly, and a little outofcharacter, too, as he steps closer, grips myshoulders, and looksmeupanddownsalaciously.Withalong,lingeringrumbleinhisthroat,headds,“Wehadsomegoodsex,didn’twe?” Iblink.Whereishis I’m banging the barista confession?The I’m eloping with the wedding planner proclamation?The I drained your bank account blurt-out?
“AndlastnightwhenIwasoutatthepianobar inthecitywiththeguys,all Icouldthinkaboutwasyou.Andhow Ijust couldn’twaitfor our weddingnight How greatthe sexwould be How oftenwe’d do it How muchIjust, well, letme be blunt,”hesays,likehe’sbeenanythingbutultra-bluntinthelastthreeminutes,buthetakesadeepbreath,thenfinisheshisdeep thought.“HowmuchIlikesex.”
Thisishowhecallsitoff?Withhisexplorerdickashisnewcompass?Andmeashis…firstmate?“You’recancelingthe weddingso youcanhave more sexwithmore women?” I askwithstaccato breaths I need to make sure I’mone hundred percentclearonwhathe’ssaying.
Aiden gestures grandly to me, a show of his magnanimity “And you can have sex too” Tapping his sternum, he adds, “Whateverorwhoeverfloatsyourboat.”
“Howgenerous.”
He mustmiss mysarcasmsince he rocks backand forthonhis heels and says earnestly, “Thanks” He pauses, like he’s gearinguptomakeabigrequest.“Andmaybe we can.”
Myshock and myshameful hope is replaced byred-hotrage. Aplume ofanger licks myveins. “YouactuallythinkI wanttobefuckbuddieswithyou?”
Hissmileishopeful,akidaskingplease.“Ido.”
Thatisnotthe I do I’dexpected I’mswaying I’mdizzy Howdidthismomentgofrommeimagininghimdumpingmefor anotherwoman,stealingmymoney,or,Idon’tknow,burningdownmyhouse,tohimdumpingmesohecouldenterhismakingup-for-lost-timeera?
With zero remorse, he says, “There was only one super-saver flight left when I checked this morning, so I grabbed it. Airlines,”hesayswitha you get it shakeofhishead.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I’mstanding inthe bridal room, grippinga freaking songbookaimed at his disappearingframe. Outthere, a millionofmyfamily’s friends, includingmyveryeager bigsister and myevenmore eager mother,arewaitingformetowalkdowntheaisle,waitingformybrothertogivemeawaytoagetawaygroomwho’sghosted me
My brother!That’sit.
Garrett’s the calmone Garrett’s the cool one He always knows whattodo Igather myskirtandrace across the bridal room,huntingdownmyclutchpurseonanottomaninthecorner,snappingitopenwithshakyfingers,andfishingoutmyphone. AsItexthim,tearsIdidn’texpectraindown.Hot,heavy,sorrowfultears.
WhyamIholdingmypeacethen?Atthebachelorparty,hesangalongwith“SingleLadies”likeitwashispersonalanthem thenhitonthewaitresswitha Hey, babe, give me one last kiss before I get hitched.
Eventhoughthewaitress laughedhimoffandthenhelaugheditoff,thatcommentisn’tsittingrightwithme today. Betit wouldn’tsitrightwithGarrettifhe’dbeenatthe table whenit’dhappened He was outside the bar,sayinggoodnighttohis twinsatthetime.
“It’s hard being a millionaire athlete, isn’t it,” I retort, pulling my focus away from how-to-handle-a-dickhead-groom etiquettetoribmybuddy LedgerMcBride’saforwardfortheSanFranciscoSeaDogs;I’mthegoaliefortherecentlyrenamed GoldenStateFoxes.Technically,thatmakesusrivalssinceweplayinthesamecity,butwe’refriendsnotenemies.
“Pot Kettle,”Ledgersays
“That’sme,”IsaywithmorebravadothanIfeel.Myexlikedtosayitwasharddatingaproathlete,itwashardbeingin the limelight, itwas hard withme beingonthe road Yes, everythingaboutseeingme was too hard for her But that’s why Eva’stheex.
Exceptsomethingkeepsstoppingme,adeep-seatedworryIbarelywanttoadmit.IsAiden’sbehaviorlastnightgnawingat me because itwas a real problem? Or because I’ve never thoughthe was good enoughfor Aubrey? ButI’ve never thought anyonewasgoodenoughforher.
ButthatguyAubrey’smarryingmakesmyskincrawl,andhehassinceImethimlastyear.Hereekedof too friendly then too.“Hewashittingonthewaitresslastnight,”Ihiss. Hislipstwistinacruelfrown.“Guyslikehim…”
WhenGarretthandsmethekeyfobtotheconvertible,Idon’tthink Ido Ashetrotsbackaroundtothefrontofthechurch,I spintofaceLedger,tossinghimthekey.“Drive,”ItellLedger,pointingtothe just married convertible.“I’llgetthebride.” Withacrispnod,hepalmsthekeys
Poweredbythis new game plan,Ihightail ittothe side ofthe church,rushdownthe hall,andpushopenthe door tothe bridalroom.Aubrey’sstandingbythewindowinthecorner,staringouttheglass.Sheturnsinslow-motion,herhandclutching atissueandatinypurse Big,softredcurlsframeherface,whichisashenwithshockandmaybeevenshame Hermascara’sa littlesmudged,hercheeksalittlered.Butthere’ssomethinglikeagleaminherbigbrowneyes.SomethingIcan’tquiteread. Now’snotthetimetofigureitoutthough “Hey,”Isaysoftly.She’sgottobehurting.“We’reheretohelp.”
Seeingas mytop two skill sets involve shootingpucks whenthe opponent least expects it and never overwateringmy plants,IkeepmymouthshutasIcruisealongthewindingcountryroadawayfromthechurch
As Imaneuver this sweetride onto the maindraginDuckFalls, there’s reallyno need for words either, since Aubrey’s staringatthesideoftheroad,hergazebehindDev’saviatorshadeslockedsquarelyonthesightswhippingby thesignsfor nearbyvineyards,thebusyshops,thebustlingsidewalk.Asthewindrustlesherveil,she’slookingmorepensivethanI’dhave expected.
ButwhatdidIexpect?
I’venevergivenanythoughttohowajiltedbridewouldbehavepost-jilt.Nowthatit’stopofmymind,mygutsaystears streaming down her face, makeup ruined, and shoulders convulsing would be on the menu Sure, her cheeks seema little splotchy,likemaybeshe’sjustcried,buttherearenowaterworkscomingfromthepassengernexttomerightnow.
Justastarksortofsilence.
It’seerie
WhatthehelldoIdowithabroken-heartedbride’ssilence?IbarelyknewhowtohandlethedivorcepapersMarlaserved memorethanayearago,alongwithacupofhertears,lamentinghowwe’dgrownapart,andhowsheneededtofindsomeone more available.
I’dhatedhercryingtoo,soI’dshutupandsignedthepapers Onlytofindoutlatertheywerecrocodiletears Dev doesn’t breakthe silence either. That’s odd, since he’s a chattyone. But maybe he knows how to handle runaway bridesandsilenceistheway?Wouldn’tbesurprisedifhereadanarticleonitrecently.Somethinghisparentssenttohimin oneoftheirdailyemails
Butthattoughnessdoesn’tmatternow Nobodywantstobedumpedontheirweddingday IfocusonthemissionGarrettgaveme. Get her far away from that prick.Iowehimtheworld,andhelpinghissisteristhe leastIcandotohelptheguywhomakesmycareerpossible Iflashbacktolastnight,wishingI’dseenthesignsattheparty OnlyIwastoocaughtupinthesameswirlofthoughtsthathavebeenchasingmeallsummer thisfuckingknee.
AtleastAubreylearnedthetruthofAiden’scheatingwaysbeforeshesaid I do. AsIslowatalightnearthehighwayentrance,theelectricmotorinthecarlullingtoaspace-agehum,thequietstillhangs overus,andreally,it’sonlypolitetoaskwhat’snext.IturntoAubrey,alittlewaryofhowshe’lltakeanykindofconvoright now ButI’vegottoask “Northorsouth?”
The question feels weighty too. More important than a simple “which way do I go” ought to feel. North means we’re cruisingfartherawayfromhome Itmeanswe’respendingtherestofthedaytogetherandI’llneedtotakegoodcareofherfor several hours. Southmeans returningher to the city, forty-five minutes fromhere. Bothhave their pros and cons. Especially
since Ihave no clue ifAubreywants me to be more emotionallyavailable or less emotionallyavailable, or somethingelse entirely.Idon’tfuckingknow atall,butone thingI’mcertainof givenmyhistory, I’mnogood atrelationship advice, so I surehopetherewon’tbetoomuchadviceIneedtodoleoutifAubreychoosesdoornumberone
Bracingmyselffor her answer, Isnagthe chance to studythe womaninthe passenger seat, all lace and tulle, and teeth worryingawayatthecornerofherlips
Buthold the hell on. Is thatworryor somethingelse? Somethinglike…restrained delight as she draws a contemplative breath?
Iwanttosmackhimforscrollingmindlesslyatatimelikethis.ButIdon’twanttomakethismomentaboutdigitaletiquette, so Iignore his distracted ass, mentallycyclingthroughoptions for the restofthe day Maybe there’s anamusementparkwe could take her to. Butbefore Icanevensuggestit, Dev shouts victoriously, “The Ultra BlastAmusementParkis two miles away Wanttogo?”
Aubrey thrusts an arm in the air, like a rocker salute. “Let’s do it!” Then she shakes her head, like she’s forgotten something.“Ifyouguyswantto,thatis?Areyouupforit?”
Don’t cry over a veil. Don’t cry over a veil. Don’t cry over a veil.
Igather upthe fabric ofthe skirtofmydress,repeatingthe words as Irushdownthe hill Butit’s nouse the tears are freakingwaterfallsdownmycheeks,andIcan’tstopchantingmy veil, my veil, my veil.
Ihave to get it Ican’t let it drift awaydownstream It was mygrandma’s, and it was mymom’s, and it was mysister Claire’s,andClairegaveittomeamonthago,allreverentandseriousasshesaid,“Dadaskedmetosetthisasideforyoua whileago.Heknewit’dmakeMomhappytoseeyouinit.”
Through my annoying torrent of tears, I can just make out a flash of white lace slipping amongst the wet stones in the stream,bobbingonthesurface,abouttobesuckedunder.
WhythehellamIthinkingaboutLedger’schestwhileI’mtryingtodryupmytears?I’msupposedtobesad Iam sad,dammit.
When Ledger flops down beside me, handing me the waterlogged veil, it’s not sadness I feel. It’s relief I didn’t lose somethingimportant.Iclutchthewetveil tomychest,notcaringthatmydressisamess.Myshouldersareheavingwiththe remnantsofmyTearExtravaganzaBroughtToYouByATotallyFuckedUpWeddingDay.Devsitsonmyotherside,offering meatissue
LedgershootsmealooklikeI’mnuts.“You’reallowedtobesadtoday,”hesaysgruffly. “Yeah.You’reallowedtofeelanything.Sayanything,”Devsecondswithgenuinesympathy. Right Ofcourse.
TheythinkI’msadmyexditchedmeminutesbeforeIpromisedtolovehimforever Theydon’tknowI’mmostly secretly gladAidenwalkedout.Theyhavenoclueabouttheplaydoughmixofemotionsinsideme.Theydon’tknowI’mdancingajig while also feelingridiculouslystupid, while battlingall this guilt,while wantingtokickAideninthe balls for beinga total fuckcakeandbookingaflighthoursbeforeheditchedme.
Soon, I’mcracking up on the side of a road, gripping my veil while I’mparked on my ass in a white wedding gown covered withgrass stains. Floppingdownonmyback, Istretchoutinmydress and stockinged feet, rightnextto myolder brother’stwobestfriends.Istareupatthewide-openskyandallitsendlessblue,enjoyingtheviewimmensely,feelinglighter atlast
Ican’tbelieveIwasabouttowalkdowntheaisle.
Ican’tbelieveAidenleftmesohecouldscrewotherpeople
Mostly,though,Ican’tbelieve Ibroke downover a piece offabric.“DidIreallymake youchase after a veil?” Iaskin betweenmorelaughsovermyownludicrousness.
The reception.Igroansilently.Idon’twanttomentionyetanotherproblemtomytwoknights.ButwhatamIgoingtodo withhundredsofplatesofchickenandrice?Withallthatcake?Withtheweddingsinger?Withmymotherandherwishesfor today?Mystomachdips,butIdon’twanttothinkaboutanyofitrightnow.“Well,thankyou.Iappreciateit.AndIwillgetyou somenewshoes,”Isay,apologetically
Witha sigh, Ledger adds, “Ifwe’re goingto getto the amusementpark, Ibetter buya new pair offlip-flops now.” He pointstothe7-Elevenonehundredfeetaway.
“Dotheyhaveflip-flopsat7-Eleven?”Devasks.
Ledgershrugs,like fuck if I know. “Guesswe’llfindout.” “Soundslikeanadventure,”Devsaystome.“Youlikeadventure?” Ihaven’tbeenonanadventureinages,itseems Aidenneverwantedtohaveanadventure “Loveit,”Isay Ledger rises to his feet, makingquite a sight inblackwingtips, socks withillustrations of mushrooms under the words Don’t Shiitake On Me,andhissoggypantsrolleduptojustunderhisknees It’sweirdlysexy.Becauseofwhy they’rerolledup.
Shoving those thoughts away, I let Dev pull me up so I’mbetween them, the ushers who ushered me out I can’t even imaginewhat’shappeningatthechurch,orhowmanytextsareblowingupmyphoneinsidemypurseonthefloorofthecar callsfrommymothereverytwominutes,messagesfrommyfriendscheckingonme Mystomachsomersaultsatthethoughtof theexplanationsIowemyguestsandmyfamily.
IncludingtheonesIowetheseguys
As thewater gurgles nearby,theafternoonsunshiningbrightlybehindus,I’mtemptedtotell themthetruth thatI’mnot entirelyajiltedbride.
ButIcouldbarelytell TrinaandIvyall mywhat-ifs less thananhour ago Ishouldn’tblurtouttomybrother’s twobest friends and topclientsthatIdidn’thavethegutstoevenbearunawaybride.
And I’mnotgoingto ruinour adventure witha bigold truthbomb. As Ihead up the hill, Igrab mydiscarded heels and slidethemon,thenheadtothestore,butalongtheway,Devwhispers,“Youmightwantto…”Hedrawsanaircirclearound myface.
For some reason maybe that he noticed, or maybe because I didn’t even like the wedding makeup his observation loosenssomethingelseinsideme Unlocksanotherlayeroffreedom
Devtiltshishead,seemingtoconsidertheproposalforabeat,thenagreeing.“Youknow,itkindofdoes.Butit’snotonmy diet.” He fishes into the chickpea bag and munches on one, and as we reach the car I’mstruck by the Just Married sign danglingfromthetrunk
Well,thatwon’tdo.
“Allowmetohandlethis,”Isay,thenuncapthemarkerIjustbought,kneel,andfixthesign IcrossoutJust Married andinsteadIwrite…Runaway Bride!
Fishing out the key fob fromhis pants, he complies. I root around inside my bag and grab my black lace-up boots my brotherleftforme I’mgoingtoowehimalifetimeofbabysittinghistwinsforsavingmetoday Hoppingononefootintheparkinglot,Iyankoffasatinpumpandtossitinthetrunk.ThenItugonabootandtieitup.I flamingomywaythroughthenextone,thenchucktheotherwhiteheelinthetrunktoo
After slammingitclosed, Iclomp over to the passenger side, grabbingmypurse fromthe floor ofthe car. “I’ll be right
Icould see itona postcard sold ata roadside gas-and-go Awomanwithred hair, beachcurls, a face scrubbed free of makeup,andaguyinCrocsandrolledupsuitpantsslicingupherweddingdressoutsidea7-Elevenunderthesun. Congratu-fucking-lations on your un-wedding day
That’s whatthe postcard would say. WhenLedger is nearlydone, he stops, liftingthe scissors and wavingthematDev. “Wantaturn?”
Istand,apairofscissorsinonehand,andahugeswathofdirty,destroyeddressintheother Yes,thedressfinallyfeels likeitfits.There’sjustonethinglefttodo.Itugoffmyengagementring,thenreachbehindmynecktoundothesimplesilver chainI’mwearing witha sparkly star on it my eighteenthbirthday gift frommy grandma before she passed “Always be sparkly, Aubrey,” she’dsaid.
Alittleshiver shimmiesthroughme.“Thanks,”Isay,thenhemovesbehindmeasIbrushmyhair totheside,givinghim roomtoseemyneck Hisfingersskimmynape,andthebreathnearlywhooshesfromme,butIpursemylipsintime Aiden hardly ever touched my neck, but I think I’d love some neck attention. Only, it doesn’t last long, since Dev has the chain unclaspedinseconds As Ledger watches the whole scene,Idropthe ringonthe chain,thenDevclasps itbackonme once more.Thistime,there’sahitchinhis breath.“Thereyougo.” Idropmyhair,andhemovesaroundme.
Istrikeaposeforthem “Whatdoyouguysthink?”
They both stare at me for longer than I’d have expected with something like heat in their gazes. Or perhaps that’s just admiration?I’mnotsureIshouldbetryingtoassessthemotivationofmentoday,oranyday “Youlook…”Devbegins,buthisvoiceisgravelly.“Great,”hemanagestosay. Ledgernodsafewtimes.“Nicenewstyle.”
“Now that’s justshowingoff,”Aubreysays as shepoints tothetopofthehighstriker game,whereI’vehitthepuckand sentittothetopfuckinglevel.Imean,whatelsewasIgoingtodo? Not hitithard?
Don’t do it Don’t ask her what her perfume is, man Just don’t “Justdon’thold itso tight,” Ibite out, thenslide our joinedhandsdownatinybit.“Youneedtorelaxalittlemore.”
Aftershethanksthestrikeroperator,shethrowsherarmsaroundme.Ilearnedmylessonfromthelesson,though,soIgive her a good, friendlyhug. WhenIbreakit, she closes the distance betweenherselfand Ledger. She high-fives him, thenher browknits Likeshe’sunsureifsheshouldhughimtoo Hedoesn’tinitiateit Butshemustthink fuck it,sinceshewrapsher armsaroundhimaswell.“Thankyou.”
“Ididn’tdoanything,”hegrumbles Sheletsgoandsmilesathim,thenme.“Youbothdid.”Shetakesabeat,exhales.“Youbothdid a lot today.”
“Notso fast,” he retorts, thenblasts his machine into reverse, shrewd eyes lasered rightatme as he jerks itaround and huntsmedown,readytohurlintomeagain Hisblueeyesarecoldandmenacing Ledgerdoesn’tmessaroundasheaims,but rightbeforehecanramme,I’mambushedfrombehind,anothercarsendingminerightintohisbumpercaroncemore.
Dev and Ledger thinkthey’ve saved me fromembarrassment. Theythinkmyheart is breaking. TheythinkI’mhurt and they’rejustapplyingtheBand-AidoffunforafewhoursandnowIgohomeandtendmywoundsformonths
Yes,I’membarrassed.Yes,I’mhurt.
But not for the reasons they think I can’t keep the truth in much longer It feels so wrong to lead them on Just like everythingfeltwronginsidemeearliertodaywhenIhadn’ttoldmybestiesthesecretofmydoubtful,worriedheart. Lookwherethatsilencegotme Oof.
As the sundips toward the horizon, the unlitvintage signabove the diner beckons, the orange script-yletters for Beverly’s visiblefromthehighwayexit Wepullofftheramp,thenturnintothelotaroundsix
Today,it’sabouttobecomethesettingfor Aubrey’s big reveal.
The walkup the steps feels ominous The whole drive felt that wayafter mybumper car blurt-out But the convertible wasn’tthe place tochataboutitfurther.Besides,onthe ride downhere Ineededtodeal withmycell phone.Itwas like an overstuffedsuitcase,burstingattheseamswithtextmessages.ImessagedmymomandtoldherthatIwasdoingokayandI’d talktohertomorrow IcheckedinwithGarrettandhesaidnottoworryaboutathing Itextedmybridesmaids,tellingthemto please,prettyplease,godanceintheirsexyblackdresseswiththeirmenbecauseIamgoingtobefine,fine,fine.
Ledger leads the waypasta rackofpostcards and T-shirts, thena familyina bootharguingover orderingsundaes, and anotherfoursomezonedout,eachpairofeyesontheirownscreen.
Whenthe waitress swings bywitha potofcoffee,she holds ituplike it’s the holygrail.“Needa little pick-me-up? We makesomefinecoffeehereifIdosaysomyself.”
Dev smiles, thenscans her name tag. “Itlooks good, Beverly.” Ah, she’s the owner too. “ButI’mguessingwe’re gonna needachocolatemilkshake,aplateoffries,andsomeburgers”
Whenshe leaves, it’s clear there’s no more stalling Ihope theydon’tthinkI’ve misled them Ihope theyaren’tpissed “Look, Aidendid sayhe wanted to justbe friends. WhenItold youthatinthe bridal room,” Itell Dev, cyclingbackto my confessionearlier,whenherescuedmefromthechurch,“thatwastrue But ”
The words lodge like marbles inmythroat. They’re all mixed up withmydad’s wishes and mymom’s words and my parents’hopeforme. Your dad would be so happy for you. He always hoped you’d get back together with the one who got away
ThelongerIdwellonthereasonsIstuckaroundtoolong,theharderit’llbetotellDevandLedger some ofthetruth.“The truthis Iwasactuallyrelievedwhenhebrokeitoff,”Iadmit Myvoiceisshaky “Rightupuntilthen,I’dbeentryingtofind thegutstotellIvyandTrinathatsomethingfeltoffallmorning.Ikeptwonderingifitwasnormaltofeelsonervous.Likemy dressdidn’tfit Likemyclotheswereallwrong”Devnods,agentlesigntokeepgoing “AndwhenAidenshoweduptenminutes before…”Ipicturethegroomopeningthedoor,andreliefwashes over meall over again. Ibreathe a deep sigh, thenlookfromone guyto the other, and saythe words thathave beenstuckinside me all morning,allafternoon,andperhapsforalotlongertoo “Iwasgratefulhewastheonetodoit BecauseIwasn’tallin,”Isay, myvoicestillunsteadyasIconfessitall.“You’rethefirstpeopleI’vetold.”
“Timingiseverything,”Ledgersays,likehe’sbeentherehimself Devshootshimasympatheticlook Despitethewaythey tease eachother relentlessly, Igetthe sense theylookoutfor eachother ina found familykind ofway. Makes sense, since they’vebeenfriendsforever,butit’sstillnicetosee Itdoessomethingtomyheart makesitfeelkindofwarmandfondfor them.
Ledgergivesasoftsmile “Samehere Maybethiswasyourluckyshot” Maybethey’reright.IhadnowayofknowingAidenwasheadingdownthe gimme all the sex pathuntilheconfessedthat hewantedtobanganyoneandeveryone Perhapsmygutwaswarningme Ismilepasttheguiltandshame,throughthereliefandthelevity.“IguessI’lltakeluck.”
Dev squeezes myhand. “Evenifyouwanted to end things withhimbefore youwalked downthe aisle, and evenifyou weresecondsawayfromtellingyourfriends,thatdoesn’tmeanithurtslesswhensomeonesaysshittythingstoyou,”hesays, hisgreeneyesflashingwithvulnerability.Theylookdarkernow,borderingonhazel.“Whensomeonetreatsyoulikeyouwere nothing Likethetimeyouspentwiththemwasabsolutelyunimportant”
Thatsoundslikeit’sspokenfromhisexperience.
“Don’tyoudarethinkAiden’sanythingbutatotalflamingjackass,”Ledgeradds,pattingmyarmalittleawkwardly IpictureAidenearlierleavingmetocleanuphisdirtywork.Peelingoutofthelot.Hedidn’tevenhavethegutstofacethe guests.Garretthadtohandleallthat.Oh.Wait.“Inearlyforgot.Thisisthecherryonthejackasssundae.Heaskedmetofuck himtonight,”Iadd,witha can you believe his nerve smile,“beforeheleavestown” Devsputters.
Dev’sgrinturnsdastardly “DidyouknowI’mthekingofdaresandpranks?” Actually,yes.“SeeingasyoudaredIvyandHayestogetmarried,Ididknowthat,”Ianswer,flashingbacktoIvy’staleof her Vegas wedding to Hayes last season, when this handsome goalie right here dared her and the new guy to get hitched, claimingitwasateamtradition.SheVegas-marriedHayesbutwentbacktoherhotelroomwithbothhimand theteamcaptain, Stefan Thusbeganherveryownthroupling,andshe’shappilymarriedtobothmennow Devletsgoofmyhand.“AndI’dreallyliketoletAidenknowhefuckedwiththewronggirl.” I’malittlegiddyattheprospectofhispranks.“Whatdoyouwanttodo?”Iask.Makethata lot giddy.
Dev’s gothis phone outand is studiouslytappingawayonit. Aminute later, he swivels itaround to a site thatships… dicks. “Theyhave anexpress one-hour service. Agiant cardboard dickwill be standingoutside his roomat eight. Saythe word,Aubs.”
It’sChristmasmorningandmybirthdayallrolledintoone.AsIwalktothecar,Idon’tknowwheretofurtivelylook at hisbroadchest,ortheladderofhisabs,orthewaytheytaperintoatight,trimVathiships Ichoose everywhere Up,down, all around, I gawk at his glorious muscles and miles of skin, a little more golden than I’d expect for a guy with a fair complexion.Hemustliketotakehisshirtoffinthesummer.Ihopesummernevereverends.
