Ali Hazelwood Complete collection : 9 books : The Love Hypothesis ; Under One Roof ; Stuck With You ; Below Zero ; Love on the Brain ; Loathe to Love You ; Love, Theoretically ; Check & Mate; Bride ; Not in Love Ali
“A literary breakthrough. . . . The Love Hypothesis is a self-assured debut, and we hypothesize it’s just the first bit of greatness we’ll see from an author who somehow has the audacity to be both an academic powerhouse and [a] divinely talented novelist.”
Entertainment Weekly
“Contemporary romance’s unicorn: the elusive marriage of deeply brainy and delightfully escapist. . . . The Love Hypothesis has wild commercial appeal, but the quieter secret is that there is a specific audience, made up of all the Olives in the world, who have deeply, ardently waited for this exact book.”
New York Times bestselling author Christina Lauren
“With her sophomore novel, Ali Hazelwood proves that she is the perfect writer to show that science is sexy as hell, and that love can ‘STEM’ from the most unlikely places. She’s my newest must-buy author.”
—Jodi Picoult, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Wish You Were Here
“Ali Hazelwood is the queen of smart rom-coms. . . . Filled with snappy banter, clever characters, and crackling tension (and lots of chess!), this is the perfect rivals-to-lovers romance. Check & Mate will have you swooning, laughing, staying up all night, and smiling so much your face hurts. This book is my new obsession. Who knew chess could be so romantic?”
—Alex Aster, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Lightlark
“Funny, sexy, and smart. Ali Hazelwood did a terrific job with The Love Hypothesis.”
New York Times bestselling author Mariana Zapata
“Gloriously nerdy and sexy, with on-point commentary about women in STEM.”
New York Times bestselling author Helen Hoang on Love on the Brain
“STEMinists, assemble. Your world is about to be rocked.”
New York Times bestselling author Elena Armas on Love on the Brain
“This tackles one of my favorite tropes—Grumpy meets Sunshine—in a fun and utterly endearing way. . . . I loved the nods toward fandom and romance novels, and I couldn’t put it down. Highly recommended!”
New York Times bestselling author Jessica Clare on The Love Hypothesis
“The reigning queen of STEMinist rom-coms returns with a tale set in the cutthroat world of elite academia full of delightful humor, realistic emotions, and the messy search for self-acceptance.”
Booklist (starred review) on Love, Theoretically
“A decidedly quirky and thoroughly charming tale. . . . Geeky science jokes, humorous student emails, and expertly delivered snarky banter enhance the narrative. Readers will cheer for Jack and Elsie and their bumpy road to happily ever after.”
Publishers Weekly (starred review) on Love, Theoretically
ALSO BY ALI HAZELWOOD
The Love Hypothesis
Love on the Brain
Love, Theoretically
ANTHOLOGIES
Loathe to Love You
NOVELLAS
Under One Roof Stuck with You Below Zero
YOUNG ADULT NOVELS
Check & Mate
BERKLEY ROMANCE
Published by Berkley
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC penguinrandomhouse.com
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Hazelwood, Ali, author
Title: Bride / Ali Hazelwood
Description: First Edition | New York: Berkley Romance, 2024
Identifiers: LCCN 2023019644 (print) | LCCN 2023019645 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593550403 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9780593550410 (ebook)
LC record available at https://lccn loc gov/2023019644
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023019645
First Edition: February 2024
Cover illustration by lilithsaur
Cover design by Vikki Chu
Book design by Daniel Brount, adapted for ebook by Molly Jeszke
This is a work of fiction Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Cover
Praise for Ali Hazelwood
Also by Ali Hazelwood
Title Page
Copyright Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
C O N T E N T S
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilogue
Acknowledgments About the Author
To Thao and Sarah. I could knot do this without you, and I wouldn’t even want to.
P R O L O G U E
This marriage, it’s going to be a problem. She is going to be a problem.
THIS WAR OF OURS, THE ONE BETWEEN THE VAMPYRES AND THE Weres, began several centuries ago with brutal escalations of violence, culminated amid flowing torrents of varicolored blood, and ended in a whimper of buttercream cake on the day I met my husband for the first time.
Which, as it happens, was also the day of our wedding.
Not quite the stuff of childhood dreams. Then again, I’m no dreamer. I only ever contemplated marriage once, back in the gloomy days of my childhood. Following a few too-harsh punishments and a poorly executed assassination attempt, Serena and I concocted plans for a grand escape, which was going to involve pyrotechnics-based diversions, stealing our math tutor’s car, and flipping off our caregivers in the rearview mirror.
“We’ll stop by the animal shelter and adopt one of those shaggy dogs. Pick up a Slurpee for me, some blood for you. Disappear forever into Human territory.”
“Will they let me in if I’m not Human?” I asked, even though that was the least of our plan’s flaws. We were both eleven. Neither of us could drive. Interspecies peace in the Southwest region relied, quite literally, on me staying the hell put.
“I’ll vouch for you.”
“Will that be enough?”
“I’ll marry you! They’ll believe you’re Human—my Human wife.”
As proposals went, it seemed solid. So I nodded solemnly and said, “I accept.”
That was fourteen years ago, though, and Serena never married me. In fact, she’s long gone. I’m here alone, with a giant heap of expensive wedding favors that’ll hopefully fool guests into overlooking the lack of love, genetic compatibility, or even previous acquaintance between me and the groom.
I did try to arrange a meeting. Suggested to my people that they suggest to his people that we could grab lunch the week before the ceremony. Coffee the previous day. A glass of tap water the morning of—anything to avoid a “How do you do?” in front of the officiant. My request was escalated to the Vampyre council, and resulted in a phone call from one of the members’ aides. His tone managed to be polite while heavily implying that I was a cuckoo nutbird. “He’s a Were. A very powerful and dangerous Were. Just the logistics of providing security for such a meeting would be —”
“I’ll be marrying this dangerous Were,” I pointed out evenly, and a bashful throat was cleared.
“He is an Alpha, Miss Lark. Too busy to meet.”
“Busy with . . . ?”
“His pack, Miss Lark.”
I pictured him in a home gym, tirelessly working on his abs, and shrugged.
Ten days have passed, and I have yet to meet my groom. Instead, I’ve become a project—one that requires a concerted effort from an interdisciplinary crew to look weddable. A manicurist coaxes my nails into pink ovals. A facialist smacks my cheeks with relish. A hairdresser magically hides my pointed ears under a web of dark blond braids, and a makeup expert paints a different face on top of mine, something interesting and sophisticated and zygomatic.
“This is art,” I tell him, studying the contouring in the mirror. “You should be a Guggenheim fellow.”
“I know. And I’m not done,” he reprimands, before dipping his thumb in a pot of dark green stain and swiping it over the insides of my wrists. The base of my throat on both sides. My nape.
“What’s this?”
“Just a bit of color.”
“What for?”
A snort. “I pulled strings and researched Were customs. Your husband will like it.” He whooshes away, leaving me alone with five odd markings and a newfound bone structure. I squeeze into the bridal jumpsuit that the stylist begged me not to refer to as a onesie, and then my twin brother comes to retrieve me.
“You look stunning,” Owen says flatly, distrustfully, squinting at me like I’m a fake ten-dollar bill.
“It was a team effort.”
He gestures for me to follow him. “I hope they vaccinated you for rabies while they were at it.”
The ceremony is supposed to be a symbol of peace. That’s why, in a heartwarming display of trust, my father demanded an all-Vampyre armed security detail for the ceremony. The Weres refused, which led to weeks of negotiations, then to a near break of the engagement, and finally to the only solution that could make everybody equally unhappy: staffing the event with Humans.
There’s a tense atmosphere, and then there’s this. One venue, three species, five centuries of conflict, and zero good faith. The black suits escorting Owen and me seem torn between protecting us and killing us themselves, just to get it over with. They wear sunglasses indoors and mutter entertainingly bad code into their sleeves. Bat is flying to the ceremony hall. I repeat, we have Bat.
The groom is, uninventively, Wolf.
“When do you think your future husband will try to kill you?” Owen asks conversationally, looking straight ahead. “Tomorrow? Next week?”
“Who’s to say.”
“Within the month, for sure.”
“For sure.”
“One has to wonder if the Weres will bury your corpse or just, you know. Eat it.”
“One has to.”
“But if you care to live a bit longer, try tossing a stick when he starts mauling you. I hear they love to fetch—”
I halt abruptly, causing a slight commotion among the agents. “Owen,” I say, turning to my brother.
“Yes, Misery?” His eyes hold mine. Suddenly, his indolent, insultcomedian mask slips off, and he’s not my father’s shallow heir anymore, but the brother who’d sneak into bed with me whenever I had nightmares, who swore he’d protect me from the cruelty of the Humans and the bloodthirstiness of the Weres.
It’s been decades.
“You know what went down the last time the Vampyres and Weres tried this,” he says, shifting to the Tongue.
I sure do. The Aster is in every textbook, albeit with vastly different interpretations. The day the purple of our blood and the green of the Weres’ flowed together, as bright and beautiful as the blooming flower the massacre was named after. “Who the hell would enter a marriage of political convenience after that?”
“Me, apparently.”
“You are going to live among the wolves. Alone.”
“Right. That’s how hostage exchanges work.” Around us, the suits hurriedly check their watches. “We have to go—”
“Alone to be slaughtered.” Owen’s jaw grinds. It’s so unlike his usual careless self, I frown.
“Since when do you care?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because an alliance with the Weres is necessary to the surivival of—”
“These are Father’s words. It’s not why you agreed to do this.”
It’s not, but I’m not about to admit it. “Maybe you underestimate Father’s persuasiveness. ”
His voice drops to a whisper. “Don’t do this. It’s a death sentence. Say you’ve changed your mind—give me six weeks.”
“What will have changed in six weeks?”
He hesitates. “A month. I—”
“Is something amiss?” We both jump at Father’s sharp tone. For a split second we’re children again, again scolded for existing. As always, Owen recovers quicker.
“Nah.” The vacuous smile is back on his lips. “I was just giving Misery a few pointers.”
Father cuts through the security guards and tucks my hand into his elbow with ease, like it hasn’t been a decade since our last physical contact. I force myself not to recoil. “Are you ready, Misery?”
I cock my head. Study his stern face. Ask, mostly out of curiosity, “Does it matter?”
It must not, because the question isn’t acknowledged. Owen watches us leave, expressionless, then yells after us, “Hope you packed a lint roller. I hear they shed.”
One of the agents stops us in front of the double doors that lead into the courtyard. “Councilman Lark, Miss Lark, one minute. They’re not quite ready for you.” We wait side by side for a handful of uncomfortable moments, then Father turns to me. In my stylist-mandated heels, I nearly reach his height, and his eyes easily catch mine.
“You should smile,” he orders in the Tongue. “According to the Humans, a wedding is the most beautiful day of a bride’s life.”
My lips twitch. There’s something grotesquely funny about all of this. “What about the father of the bride?”
He sighs. “You were always needlessly defiant.”
My failures spare no front.
“There is no going back, Misery,” he adds, not unkindly. “Once the handfasting is complete, you will be his wife.”
“I know.” I don’t need soothing, or encouragement. I’ve been nothing but unwavering in my commitment to this union. I’m not prone to panic, or fear, or last-minute changes of heart. “I’ve done this before, remember?”
Another random document with no related content on Scribd:
BELÄGRINGEN AV SPANGAR
En söndag, när som vanligt kyrkofolket stod rådvillt skockat vid den stängda porten, bespisat rikligen med lagens lut, men törstande till evangeliskt vatten, som äntligt velat släcka våndans brand — en sådan dag kom vandrande på vägen profeten Josua från Vägasked. Hans gråa långskägg svallade i solen, hans panna lyste hög och siarklar, det syntes genast på hans karska hållning: förkunnar andan jäste i hans bröst. Han plöjde sig en väg igenom mängden och klättrade på kyrkomuren upp. Han väntade ett ögonblick, tills alla fått syn på honom, där han upphöjd stod. Då vart han blek av andan, och han talte:
»När icke folket finner väg till mig, så måste jag omsider söka folket. Ty skammen går på torra landet, vänner, och eder ynkedom vet ingen hut. Här stå ni darrande av djävulsfruktan, begapande varann som vilsna får, fast sommarn blommar härliga mot höjden. Ni ränna runt som fanen satt i baken, ni skria bibelsprängt på tusen möten och tugga svavlet om, som prästen spytt, men hemmen, fälten, fänaden försummas. Och vadan detta allt? Ni ropa: straffet!
Jag frågar vilket? Jo, det skall ni höra: det är er egen ynkedom som hämnas. Så långt man minns har denna leda by ej aktat på naturens visa ordning och låtit oförhindrad var få sitt. Ty penningpungen var
er enda gud tillhopa med sin broder, högfärdsdjävuln, — där har du dina förstår, leda by! Här handlades med allting. Barnens kroppar blev bytesvara mellan gård och gård. Jag frågar eder: höjdes det en hand förutom min mot sista slemma dådet, då Gammelgårdens Klara såldes bort?»
Han höll ett ögonblick. Ett ovisst mummel steg upp ur mänskohopen, halvt förargat, men halvt bejakande den sturska läxan. Och mitt ur högen kom en häpen röst: »Förbanne mig, han kan ha rätt, den tokern!» Då tog profeten ännu högre vid:
»Det händer dock, när köttets köpenskap bedrives alltför fräckt, att anden reser sig upp till nödvärn mot det råa våldet, fast präst och kyrka stå på köttets sida. Si, andens långmod är förvisso stort, och därför frågas föga om hans mening, men kränkes han för svårt — då står han upp och mejar, liksom lien mejar säden, beräkningarnas jämmerliga fält. Platt ingenting blir kvar — blott svarta marken, där skator flaxa skrattande omkring. Då menar man att djävulen tog växten, och löper ylande till kyrkan hän och gömmer huvudet vid prästens mage och skyggar till för allt som far och flyger, anamma, som en vettvill tvåårsmärr.»
»Har du förstått mig, ynkansvärda by? Jag frågar nu: kom ej er själanöd från denna vita vandrerska i natten, hon, som förpinad gick i drömmen ut, förunderligt av trofast längtan vägledd? Si, ingen häxa var hon, ingen vålnad, men utsänd var hon till er egen bot. Ty där hon nattliga gick sjuk förbi, där gick ert kranka samvete på vägen. Är icke detta sanningen, gottfolk?»
Bekräftande steg mumlet upp ur hopen, och huvud nickade sitt ja och amen, men mitt ur högen kom en röst på nytt: »Du talar svåra tankedigert, gubbe, men vet du någon råd, så raska på!»
Då greps profeten av ett mäktigt löje, som hoppade som grodor i hans drag men dog omsider i det stora skägget. Han rätade sig ut i all sin längd, och muntert skrek han ned från kyrkomuren:
»Om jag vet råd? Det var en fråga det! —
Vrid rätt igen vad vrånga viljor vrängde!
Ge drängen åter flickan, som är hans, och signad sommar skall besöka bygden!»
Han hade sagt vad mången länge tänkt, fast klenmod tystat tungan på dem alla. Nu brast den bundna vreden lös, den steg som när en jättegryta kokar över och kastar locket som ett spån ifrån sig.
Det sjöd och bubblade i hundra bröst, man fäktade med nävarna, man skrek: »Ge drängen flickan hans! Ge Spangar svinskjuts!»
Tumultet växte. Det sög till sig snabbt vad allt som fanns i kyrkbyns fyra hörn av hundar, barn och påkbehängda sällar. Förenade vid kyrkan stodo snart de tvenne stränderna som ständigt trätat, upptända av en helig endräkt nu. »Mot Spangar!» skreks det — »hej, framåt mot Spangar!» — Men ned från kyrkomuren klev profeten och vandrade sin väg till söndagssång.
Dock spred sig hären icke, ned mot bron den rullade sin vredes tunga bränning. En biflod väste upp mot Gammelgård, som låg där grå och stilla, snett mot kyrkan. Man hötte vilt med nävarna mot knuten, där änkan visstes ligga i sin säng, och röster skreko: kopplerska och packa! Då syntes bröderna på farstutrappan, den hederlige Gusten, Jan och Lill-Matt, beväpnade med var sitt tjocka grimskaft. Man lyfte påken… Det var ingen fara, de vinkade på sammansvurnas sätt och drogo med de andra bort mot Spangar.
På bron hölls krigsråd några ögonblick. Så stormade med ens den morska hären mot Spangarstranden som en getingsvärm, med
mycken ilska surrande på brinken. Omslutet snart stod nämndemannens hus av ring på ring med hotfullt höjda påkar, och gården fylldes som det regnat gubbar utav en hundrahövdad, skränig hop. »Ge flickan åter, som du stal av drängen! Ge flickan fri, din djävla kvinnotjuv!»
Det kom ej svar. I bommad myndighet stod breda farstudörren järnbeslagen, och fönstren sågo oberörda ned, som kunde intet bryta deras tystnad. Det kom ej svar. Men skränet växte till, bemängt ibland med klang av sprängda rutor, ty nu begynte stenarna att hagla. Och redan sprungo Jan och Lill-Matt upp på farstubron och började med sparkar behamra dörren, dundrande som trummor.
Då hördes ej hur bommen lyftes av, men plötsligt växte Spangar fram på trappan, av vrede vit och jättelik att skåda. Den äldre brodern fälldes med en spark, så han sjönk dubbelviken hop och spydde; men Lill-Matt kramades av nämndemannen med nacken ned mot knäna till en boll, så slungade han bollen ut på gården, och karlar stöpo radvis, där den kom. Men lika plötsligt var han åter borta, och dörren small igen, och bommen föll.
Betänksamhet grep hundramanna hären, och skränet krympte snopet efter hand. Det hade ingen väntat! Omkring trappan förmärktes hastigt ett respektfullt rum. Man stod och morrade i mörka klungor och svor ohyggligt, hötande ibland: i morron, gubbe, vänta du, i morron! Man skelade i smyg mot närmsta grannen: skall inte snart du ge dig av, så jag med heder kan gå hem till aftongröten? Fanflykten började. Där någon smet försiktigt bort i skydd av uthuslängan, som var han stadd i trängande bestyr, där följde genast tjugu trängda efter. Och när det nattades låg brinken
tom, och ej ett liv var synligt mer på gården. Ett fäste likt låg nämndemannens hus, tillbommat, tyst, och stirrade omkring sig med sina ödelagda fönsterögon.
* * *
Då tändes där det grubbelsjuka ljuset. Det lyste över midnatt långt mot morgon, helt sakta flämtade det stundom till för kylans andning ur de öde fönstren. Så släcktes det. En ensam man steg ut på farstubron i första gryningsskenet. Han vandrade till stallet, låste upp och spände för den vackra travarhingsten.
En kärra körde långsamt över bron. Det var ej någon fart i dag på hästen, och piskan vilade förglömd i knät på mannen, som i tankar satt försjunken. Han såg sig aldrig om, han körde bara likt den som äntligt vet sin enda väg, fast den är mödosam och intet brådskar.
Det låg en sällsam ro kring denna man, där han i röda morgonljuset åkte igenom rågarna mot bergen bort.
I RÅGEN
Som elden varit lös i själva kyrkan, så hastigt lopp ett bud från dörr till dörr:
»Säg, har ni hört det — han är kommen, drängen, han vart av Spangar egenhändigt hämtad. Nu sitter han som bäst på Vägasked, förplägas rikligen och fejas fin — här skall bli muntert, jädrar och anfäkta!» Så ropte ryktet jublande kring byn, och julihimlen log och kyrkotuppen.
Det blev ett spring i bodar och kontor, klädkammaren blev plockad i ett huj på helgdagsvästar och på silkesdukar, och varje yngling som var snäll att spela tog länge glömda felan från sin spik. Han kvintilerade som hin en stund, tills lådan åter lydde gamla konster, och spottade i nävarna och sprang.
Snart var det tomt i gårdarna. Blott farmor satt vaktande den övergivna grytan, och några ungar stodo runt omkring och frågte ängsligt: farmor, blir det krig? Men utåt Vägasked gick strömmen jämn längs sockenvägens middagsheta fåra, välkomnande den äntligt funna frälsarn.
Han satt i stugan. Men profeten stod och stängde vägen, talande från trappan. Ty sjuttiåringen höll på som bäst och hyfsade den vilda junkarluggen — det sågo pojkarna, som klättrat upp till fönstren, stångande varann i höjden. Då gav man sig till tåls en stund ännu. Man spände för den välbekanta hästen, byns blankaste och lataste och äldsta, för gubbens sällan sedda söndagsschäs. Man pyntade till hyllning ekipaget med blom och strå, från närmsta tegar brutna av flinka flickor, och ur rian sjöd en storm av stråkar, prövande till samspel.
Nu var han äntligt färdig. Ett hurra bröt löst kring trappan, svällde ut och steg ur trängseln upp mot sommarstilla molnen. Och hela gården vred sig runt en stund som när en stordeg knådas i ett tråg, tills allt var ordnat efter stånd och ställning. Då bröt man upp, och detta var ett festtåg, vars make ingen lär ha sett i byn.
Först gingo tjugu drillande fioler. Så kom profetens häst, av gubben körd med mycken värdighet i väldig respäls.
Han satt och svettades och sken, men drängen, den sjuttiåriga, stod bak i bygeln så styv i ryggen som en kejsarknekt. Kring båda hjulen rullade en sol av granna rågax, och ur hästens sele stack blåklint ut i vajande buketter.
Och tronande med hatten i sin hand satt högst i kärran Spangardrängen Markus, han viftade ibland mot följet ut, men för det mesta var han svårt förlägen. Ty efter kärran i allvarlig takt kom rad på rad av kyrkobyns förnämste, behållna bönder, myndiga i min, med guldked guppande på svarta västar. Så kommo kvinnofolken i en flock med snack och snytningar och glädjetårar, så slagsmålssällar, pojkar, hundar, barn. Allt lägre sjönko stånden, varv på varv, precis som taken gjorde det kring kyrkan, tills allt omsider
tog en ändalykt med fiskar Filus och hans barnbarnsbarn. Nej, sist av alla, kryssande i dammet kom brännvinsbrännar Janne med sin bock, han svang en kutting lallande i luften, frampuffad understundom av den röde.
Så drog man festligen i kyrkbyn in. Från gård till gård gick tåget, överallt det viftade från trapporna välkommen. Och när man äntligt gjorde halt på bron, stod aftonsolen lutande mot nedan.
Det blev en natt, som byn besjunger än! Från alla vallar ljöd det muntert spel, och bössor knallade mot ljumma himlen, från vilken stjärnskott föllo ned till svar. Det flammade på ån: en jätteflotte av tjärigt stapelvirke tändes på, och båtar rodde svängande med bloss kring stränderna, som dansade i skenet. På Vägasked var fest tills morgon kom: rigolvet dundrade av hundra klackar, då sjuttiåra drängen förde an det stolta purpuriet, högtidsdansen. Det var den natten som profetens golv mot morgonsidan rämnade med brak — det är bevarat än till minnesmärke.
Men långt från gästabud och dryck och dans försvunno de i sädeshavets skymning, de två som bygden hyllade i natt. De gingo tigande från ren till ren, för häpna för att ännu töras tala. Blott axen viskade sitt sus som förr ur när och fjärran i den mörkblå natten. Allt längre gingo de, alltmer de sjönko i rågens varma, välbekanta famn.
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