BACKBLURB
Navy
Alifetimeago,CadeWallacewasthemostpopularboy inschool,andIwastheinsecureteenagerfromatiny country intheSouthPacificwhosomehowcaughthiseye Hewaseverythingtome
ButIwastornaway fromhiminacrueltwistoffate,andIwrappedmy heartinarmortoprotectitfromshattering Twenty yearslater,anunexpectedencountermightmeanasecondchance,butthere’ssomethingIhaven’ttoldhim,andthatsecretmightbetheendofusforever Cade
They say youhaveonetruesoulmate AndImetminewhenIwastooyoungtoknowhowtofightforher Navy Simmondswastheblonde-hairedbeauty fromNewZealandwhosetmy worldonfire,butwhenshewastakenfromme,Iwentdownadarkroad,onethatmademeunworthy ofher Decadeslater,fateputsherinmy pathagain,andIamdeterminedtokeep her ButsomeoneelsehasdifferentplansandImustfightwitheverythingIamtoprotecther
ForCharlie!
You have always been the sister of my heart and love that even after thirty years, you ’ re my ride or die, babe!
Cade
High School
ISTEPPEDONTOthe bus justas itstartedtoclose its doors.Iwas late.Truthbe told,Iwas always late.Myoldest brother,Connor,razzedmeaboutitallthetime,butI’djustsmileandrolloverinordertocatchafewmoreZ’s
AsIwalkeddowntheaisle,Inoticedagirlwhowasprobablyayearortwoyoungerthanmesittingin‘my’seat.Imean,it wasapublicbus,soitwasn’ttechnicallymine,butIsatthereeverydayonmywaytoschoolandnowIwasgoingtoneedto findanotherplace.Iwasonlyfive-hundreddollarsawayfromthemoneytobuyacarandonceIgotthat,Iwouldn’tneedto ride public transitanymore I’d beenworkingafter school and weekends whenIcould atmydad’s constructionsite Itwas goodmoney,anditwasflexible.
Idecidedtositintherowbehindher,justacrosstheaisle.
TherewassomethingaboutherIcouldn’tputmyfingeron Shewasgorgeous,blondecurlsthatcascadeddownherback andlookedalmostliketheyhadamindoftheirown,bigblueeyesI’donlyseenforasecondwhensheglancedmyway,anda bodythatshelookedlikeshewastryingtohideinheroversizedclothing
Shelookedsad,andIdon’tknowwhythatpingedforme,butitdid.
Thebuspulleduptomystop,justoutsidemyhighschool,andIrosetomyfeet.Shedidtoo.Ifrowned.Shewenttomy school?I’dneverseenherbefore.
Followingheroff,weheadedforthefrontdoors.
“Younewhere?”Iasked ShejumpedandIfelttheslightmovementallthewaytomysoul “Shit Sorry Ididn’tmeanto scareyou.”
Sheblushed,hereyesmeetingmine “Youdidn’t” God, she was pretty. Nota stitchofmakeup coveringup her gorgeous freckles. Istudied her for a second, and thenshe started walkingagain, holdingher backpackcloser to her side. She’d onlyhungone strap over her right shoulder, like she neededsomethingtoprotecther.
“Doyouwantmetoshowyouwheretogo?”IaskedasIrushedtocatchuptoher. “No,IthinkI’mokay”
Iheardaslightaccent,butIcouldn’tplaceit.
“Isityourfirstday?”
“No.I’vebeenhereaweek,”shesaid,walkingfaster.
“Neverseenyouonthebusbefore.”
“Itwasmyfirsttimeridingit Mumwas ”Sheshookherhead “Um,couldn’tdrivemetoday” “Idigyouraccent,”Isaid.“Whereareyoufrom?” “NewZealand”
“Noway,that’shellacool.”
“Ta”Wereachedthestepsoftheschool,andshefacedme “I’msorry,butIcan’tbelateforclass” “I’llwalkyou.”
“No,youdon’tneedtodothat,”shesaid.
“What’syourname?”Iasked,asshepulledopenthedoor Butshedidn’tanswerandescapedinside Well,shit.ShewasabouttheprettiestgirlI’deverseen.Iwasgoingtoneedtofindoutmoreabouther.
Navy Ohmygod!CadeWallacetalkedtome Me!Theawkward,somewhatchubbygirlfromatinycountrymostpeoplehadnever heard of. I mean, the amount of people who thought New Zealand was part of Australia was staggering. Someone actually askedmymumoncehowlongithadtakenhertodrivehere Irolledmyeyes IfIdidn’tlovethiscountrywitheveryfiberof mybeing, Imightwonder justhow stupid Yanks were ingeneral. ButIrefused to go there, because Idid love this country. ProbablymorethanmostAmericans
AndCadeWallacenoticedme.Cadewasajuniorandthestarofthefootballteam.Hehadlongishdarkhairandajawlike Superman.Hewassounbelievablygorgeous,Igottongue-tied.
For the first time ever, I was tongue-tied I mean, I did tend to be an introvert But that didn’t mean I was quiet or unfriendly.Idefinitelywantedfriends.MumoftencomparedmetoaLabrador puppy friendlyandnosybutgettingmynose whacked a lot because I wanted to be friends with everyone However, I did tend to tell the truth, sometimes to my own detriment.MumsaidthatwasprobablywhyIhadahardtimemakingfriends.
I shook off my mother’s criticism and scurried down the hall to my first class of the day, Trig Holy hell, I hated trigonometry, butIwas reallygood atmaths, so Ihad beenbumped up fromsophomore level to junior level because ofmy advancededucation.ImighthavebeenthrilledtoleaveNewZealandbehind,butIhadtoadmit,Iwasgratefulforthelessons ithadtaughtme
“You’realmostlate,MissSimmonds,”myteachersaidasIsqueezedthroughthedoorhewasclosing.
“Sorry,Mr Envers”Itookmyseatandpulledoutmytrigtextbook
Themorningdragged,andbythetimethelunchbellrang,IhonestlywonderedifIwasgoingtobeabletostayawakefor thenextsixorsohours AllIwantedtodowasgohomeandsoakinthetub EvenifitwastheshallowesttubI’deverseen,it wasstillatub,anditwasthefirstplacewe’deverlivedthathadone.
Unfortunately,Ihadafter-school tutoring,andtheschool actuallypaidmefor mytime,soIwouldn’tgethomeuntil after six Ishovedmybooksintomylockerandmademywaytothecafeteria.Ididn’tmakemylunchtoday.Ihadn’thadtime,soI grabbedatrayandjoinedupattheendoftheline
“Cade!”agratingfemininevoicesquealedoverthecrowd.
Icouldn’tstopmyselffromfollowingthesound,andmyeyesmettheblueoceanonesofCadeWallace. “Cade!Overhere.”
Ilookedawaybecause Iseriouslydidn’twanttosee himwalkover toCelia Somers.The senior beautyhadeverything. Shewashomecomingqueen,wouldprobablybepromqueen,andshewasonthecheersquad Notthecaptain,butthatdidn’t matter,becauseherbestfriend,NevaehNathanswas,andtheyallmovedinapack. Abig,beautiful,skinnypackofmeangirlhyenas
Okay,no,notentirelyaccurate.Celiawasactuallysweet,butNevaehwasnot.Nevaeh“isheavenspelledbackward,”I’d heardhersay.
Well, Nevaeh, you are a slag As are all your other friends, guys included Ilookedatthemoutofmyperipheral andsaw CadegiveCeliaahug.Then,Nevaeh.Iwrinkledmynoseandstudiedmy shoesasIimaginedallthewaysshecouldfallandbreakanarm
“Whyareyouscowling?”
Iletoutagaspandglancedup CadeWallacewasstandingrightbesideme Ilookedaroundandalthoughtherewasalinebehindme,hewaslookingrightatme.“Eh?” HesmiledandIbitmyliptokeepfromsighing.“Youwerescowling.” “Iwas?”
“Line’smoving,”someonegrumbledfrombehind. “So?”Cadesnappedathim “Yougotsomewheretobe?” “No.Sorry,Cade.”
Ihurriedforward,placingmytrayontheraisedaluminumcounter “Whatyagettin’?”Cadeasked,snatchingthetrayfromtheguybehindmeandsettingitnexttomine. “Aw,man,nowIgottagetoutofline,”theguywhined.
“Sorry,”Isaidashestalkedaway “IgnoreBrumley.Hehitsoneverygirlinschool,”Cadesaid.
“It’snotlikeI’maguymagnetoranything,”Iwhispered “Whatever,”hesaidlikehedidn’tbelieveme.“Whatarewehavingforlunch?” “Well,Iwasgoingtogetpizza,”Isaid,staringatthegreasysquaresinfrontofme “Hell,yeah,thatsoundsgood,”hesaid,grabbingthespatulaandslidingapieceontheplateonmytray,thendidthesame tohis.“Whatelse?”
“That’sit,”Isaid It’sallIcouldafford.
“What?Noway,”hecountered,grabbingthechocolatepuddingI’dbeeneyeingandsettingitonmytray Iputitback.
“Well,ifyou’renotgoingtotakeit,I’mhavin’two.”Hegrabbedthree. “Mathsisnotyourstrongsuit,eh?” “Don’tyoumean‘math’?”
“No,”Isaid.“Mathsistechnicallycorrect.Americansjustshorteneverything,”Iretorted. Hechuckled,reachingforabowlofsomethingyellowandslimylooking.“Wantsome?” “Whatarethey?” “Peaches.”
Iswallowed “Um,yeah,no” Hegrinned,grabbinganotherbowl.
WescooteddownthelineandInoticedtherewerechocolatemuffins MystomachrumbledandIclosedmyeyesbriefly I lovedchocolate.Like,wouldmarrychocolateifitasked.
Cadegrabbedoneandsetitnexttohisbowlsofpuddingandmymouthwatered. Wegottotheice-filledsinkthatheldeverykindofmilkimaginableandhesnaggedonebeforeofferingonetome “I’mokay,”Isaid,soheputthesecondoneonhistray.
WearrivedatthetillandCadeleanedovermeandsaid,“Hey,Bernice,putthisonmyaccount,okay?” “Surething,honey.”
“What?No,”Iprotested “Youdon’tneedtobuymelunch” “Alreadydone,”hesaid.“Now,wherearewesitting?” Iblushed.“Youdon’thavetositwithme.Yourfriends ” “Wherearewesitting,Sparkles?”
Ishiveredathisuseofanickname,eventhoughIknewhewasdoingitbecausehedidn’tknowmyname. “Um,Iusuallysitoverthere”Inoddedtothecornerbythewindowswherenoonetypicallysat “I’llfollowyou.”
Iswallowedandtookadeepbreath,forcingmyfeettomove.Alleyeswereonusasweheadedtothetableinthecorner, andIslidintotheseatbythewall.
Igrabbedserviettesoutofthedispenserandlaidoneonmylap,thenItookaknifeandforkandcutintomypizza. “Whatarethose?”
“These?”Iheldupmyutensils.“Well,thisiscalledaknife,andthisisafork?”
Helaughed “No Imean,youcan’teatpizzawithaknifeandfork Youhavetoeatitwithyourhands Likethis” Hetookhispiece,foldeditinhalfandshovedalmostthewholepieceintohismouth,grinningashechewed.
“You’regoingtochokeifyoukeepeatinglikethat,”Iwarned,cuttingoffanotherpieceofpizzaandliftingittomymouth.I slidtheforkinandbitdown,andCadeseemedtohaveafascinationwithmymovements,soIfrowned.“DoIhavecheeseon me?”Iasked,wipingmymouthafterI’dswallowed.
Heletoutaquietcough “No,ah,it’sallgood” Iblushed.“You’dtellmeifIdid,right?” “Yeah,’course”
Icontinuedtoeatasheshoveledfooddownhisthroat.Itwasendearinginaway. Oh, what was I saying? He could let out a huge fart and I’d probably find it endearing “So,Navy,tellmeaboutyourself,”hesaid Ilookedhiswayinsurprise.“Youknowmyname?” “Yeah I’mCade”
Iletoutaninelegantsnort.“Everyoneknowsyourname,Cade,youdidn’tneedtotellme.”
“Ineverassumeanything”Hegrinned,droppingthecovetedchocolatemuffinonmytray “Whatareyoudoing?That’syours,”Isaid.
“Iboughtitforyou.Aprettygirlshouldneverhavetobuyherownmuffin.”Heleanedincloser,slidingacartonofmilk overtome “Andyoucan’thaveachocolatemuffinwithoutmilk”
“Itwouldbeacrime,”Iagreed.
“Wouldn’twanttohavetoturnyouintotheschoolpoliceonyoufirstweekhere” Ichuckled.“No,thatwouldsuck.”
“Totallywould”
“Thanks,Cade,you’reverysweet.”
“Oh,shit,don’tletthatgetaround,”heretorted.“You’llruinmyrep.”
Alaughbubbled out of me just as Nevaehwalked up, sittingdaintilynext to Cade, and pullingher seat closer to him “What’ssofunny?”
“Locationjoke,”Cadesaid,rollinghiseyesinmydirection,soIwastheonlywhocouldseehisexpression Ibitmylipandfocusedonpeelingawaytheliningonthemuffin.
“What’salocationjoke?”Nevaehasked.
“Hadtobethere,”Cadereplied.
“Ohmygod,you’reso funny,”shesaidinasing-songvoice,layingahandonhisarm.
Hepulledawayandfacedher.“Istheresomethingyouneed,Nevaeh?”
“We’re friends,Cade,”shesaid,hereyesboringintome.“CanInotcomeandsayhitomyfriend?”
“Ialreadysaidhitoyou”
“Well,I’msayinghiagain.Introducemetothisquietlittlemouse.”Shereachedherhandoverthetable.“I’mNevaeh.It’s Heavenspelledbackwards”
Ishookherhandandtriednottovomitinmymouth.“Navy.That’sYvanbackwards.Nicetomeetyou.”
CadechortledbesidemeasNevaehfrowned “Ohmygod,isthatanaccent?Whereareyoufrom?” “NewZealand.”
Shewrinkledhernose.“Where’sNewZealand?”
“It’sanislandintheSouthPacific,”Cadeansweredforme “BelowAustralia” Myheadwhippedhisway.HeknewwhereNewZealandwas?
“Twoislands,actually,”Cadecorrected NevaehglaredatCade.“Howquaint.”
Beforeanymorecouldbesaid,thebellrang,soIrosetomyfeetandgatheredmyrubbish NevaehleanedtowardCade.“Walkmetomylocker?” “Didyouforgetwhereitisagain?”heasked.
“You’resofunny,”shegroundout,thesing-songgonefromhervoice “Ican’twalkyoutoday,sorry.I’malreadywalkingNavytohers.”
“Youare?”Iasked,andCade’seyeswidenedashegavemeaslightnod “Oh,right Yes Cade’swalkingmetomine” Cadegatheredourtraysandrubbishandsmiled.“Ready?” “Um,yep.”
Hedumpedeverythinginthebinandthenweheadeddownthehall. “Ineedtousetheloo,”Isaid.“Thanksforlunch.”
“I’llwait,”hesaid
Ifacedhimwithasigh.“What’sgoingon?”
Hefrowned “Whatdoyoumean?”
“Whyareyoubeingnicetome?Didyouloseabet?”
Adarknessflickeredinhiseyesashemetmine.“Whatthehell?No.Whywouldyousaythat?”
Ishookmyhead.“Becauseguyslikeyoudonotjustmagicallytalktogirlslikeme.” Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“Whosays?”
“Everyeightiesmovieevercreated”
“We’re notinthe eighties,Navy.” He raisedaneyebrow.“Incase youhaven’tnoticed,we have the internetnow.We’re firmlyinthetwentiethcentury”
Ipressedmylipsintoathinlineandbreathedslowly.“Cade ” “Gopee,”heordered.“I’llwait.”
Ithrewmyhandsupintheairandsteppedintothebathroom
Ismiled.NavywasabsolutelythesweetestgirlI’devermet,andsheworeallofheremotionsonherface.Iknewexactlywhat shewas thinking,andIlikedit UnliketheNevaeh’s oftheworld,whowerecalculatingandbitchy,Navywas theopposite Shewashonestandopenandfuckingadorable.
Icouldn’twaittogettoknowherbetter Ijusthopedshe’dletmedothat Navywalkedoutofthebathroomandlookedgenuinelysurprisedtoseemeassheshookherhandsout.“You’restillhere.” Igrinned “ToldyouI’dwait”
“Yes,youdid,”shemumbled,wipingherhandsonherjeans.“Theyranoutoftowels.” “Hatethat.”
“Metoo Idon’thaveanylotionwithme,somyhandsaregoingtobecrackedbytheendoftheday” Inoticedabraceletsheworeonherwristandnoddedtoit.“Thatbracelet’shellacool.”
Shesmiledassheheldituptothelight “It’smyfavorite It’spauashellfromNewZealand Mybestfriend,Nicolagaveit tomeformythirteenthbirthday.”
Justasshesaidthat,CeliaSomerswalkeduptousandgrinned “Hey,Cade” “Hey,Cel.”
SheturnedtoNavy.“I’mCelia.You’renewright?”
Navynodded “Navy”
“Thatissuchacoolname.” Navysmiled.“Thanks.”
“Well,ifyouneedanything,pleaseletmeknow,okay?It’salwaysscarytobeinanewschool”
“Yougotanylotion?”Iasked.
“Cade,”Navyhissedunderherbreath
“Like,handlotion?”Celiaasked,slidingherbackpackoffhershoulders.
“Yeah,”Isaid
“Isuredo.”Shepulledoutatravelsizedbottleandhandedittome.“Youcankeepit.Ihavetwo.” “Thanks.”
“Surething”SheturnedtoNavyagain “Seriously,ifyouneedanything,holler AndignoreNevaeh Shecanbe um,well, alittleoff-puttingsometimes.Butshehasagoodheartundereverything.”
Itriednottoscoffoutloud Nevaeh’sheartwasblackastar Iwassureofit Navynodded, and Celia gave us botha friendlysmile, thenwalked away. Igrinned, handingthe bottle ofhand lotionto Navy
“Thankyou.Youdidn’thavetodothat,”shesaid,unscrewingthecap. Ishrugged.“Igetthingsdone.”
“Apparently”Shesqueezedlotionontoherhandsandreplacedthecap,keepingthebottlebetweenherteethassherubbed thegoobetweenherhands.Ituggedthebottlefromherteeth,andshegrinned.“Ta.” “Ta?”Iasked
“It’stheKiwiabbreviationforthanks,”sheexplained.“Sorry,Iforgetsometimes.” “Don’tapologize,Iloveit.”
Thewarningbellsoundedjustaswearrivedatherlocker.
“Shoot,”shesaid,workingthecombinationonherlock.“I’mlate.I’mneverlate.”
“You’renotlate You’vegottenminutes”
“Shouldn’tyoubeheadingtoyourlocker?”sheaskedasshepulledoutherbackpackandshovedanEnglishtextbookinto it
“I’vegottimetowalkyoutoyourclass,”Ilied.
“Cade,youdon’treally.Pleasedon’tbelateonmyaccount.”
“It’smath.Ihatemath.”
“Ihateit,too,butwemustsoldieron.”Sheswungherbackpackoverhershoulder.“Thankyouforlunch.”
“Sametimetomorrow?”
“I’mnotsure,”shehedged.“Canweplayitbyear?”
ItriednottoshowhowdisappointedIwas “Sure”
“Ta,uh,thanks.Iappreciateit.”Shesmiledgently,thenturnedaroundandwalkedawayfromme.Isuddenlyfeltallkinds ofbummed.
Cade
T
HENEXTDAY,Navywasn’tinthecafeteria,soIgrabbedatray,loadeditup,andwentaboutfindingher. “Mr.Wallace,youcannottakemytraysoutofthisroom,”Berniceadmonished. Shit Rookiemistake IhadbeensodistractedbylookingforNavy,Ihadn’tbeenwatchingforBernice “Sorry,Bernice.IwaslookingforNavySimmonds,”Isaidsheepishly.“Iwasgonnatakeherlunch.” “Well,she’snothere.”
“Iseethat.DoyoumindifIgofindher?IpromiseI’llbringeverythingback.” “Mr.Wall ”
“Please?You’relookingextraprettytoday Isthatanewhairnetyou’rewearing?” Sheblushedasshepattedthebackofthehair.“Flatterywillgetyounowhere,youngman.” “Iwillbringthisallback Iswearonmylife”
Shewavedatme.“Offwithyou.Butdon’tdoitagain.”
“Iwon’t.Thankyou!”Isaid,rushingoutbeforeshecouldchangehermind. Ittookmeafewminutes,butIfoundNavyinthelibrary.HerheadwasbentoverabookandIsmiledasImademywayto her.
“Hi,”Iwhispered,andsheletoutaquietsqueakasherheadwhippedup “Shit,sorry I’malwaysscaringyou”
Shefrowned,herfaceguarded,whichIdidnotlikeatall.“Whatareyoudoinghere?” Isetthetrayonthetableandsatacrossfromher “Broughtyoulunch” “You’renotsupposedtohavefoodinhere.”
Iglancedaroundbeforelookingbackather.“Iwon’ttellifyoudon’t.”
“Youdidn’thavetobuymelunch,youknow.I’mquitecapable ” Iraised myhand. “I’mwell aware thatyou’re capable ofanythingyousetyour mind to, butwould youjustletme be a gentleman,please?MydadwouldbrainmeifIwasn’t”
“Fine.”Sheclosedherbookwithasighandslidittoherleft.“Whatdidyoubringme?”
Igrinned “Thechefhaspreparedforustodayalovelyturkeysubwithwhatcouldbemayo,couldberanch,notsure Our fruitoptionispearsinsyrup,anddessertisvanillapuddingorachocolatecupcake.Lady’schoice.”Shesnaggedthecupcake andbitintoitbeforeeventryingthesandwich.Ilaughed.“Iseehowitis.”
“Chocolate,”shesaid,blushing “It’salwayswhateverischocolate” Iraisedaneyebrow.“Goodtoknow.”
Shegrinnedthroughthecrumbs “Thanks,Cade,thisissweet” Ileanedinandwhispered,“You’renotsupposedtosaythatoutloud.” “Sorry,sorry,Iforgot”
Ichuckled,plowingintomysandwich.
“CadeWallace,youdidnotbringfoodintomylibrary,didyou?”
Iplasteredonmybestsmileandlookedupatthelibrarian “Sorry,Mrs Gibson,itwasanemergency” Shecrossedherarms.“Whatkindofemergency?”
“Mybloodsugarwascrashing,”Navyrushedtosay “Iwasn’tsureifIcouldmakeittothecafeteria” “Doyouhavediabetes?”
“Ah,no,butthedoctorthinksImighthaveaglucoseimbalance,soIgetdizzyifIdon’teat” Mrs.Gibsonfrowned.“Well,I’llallowitthistime,butyouneedtotakebettercareofyourself.”
“I’llgetrightonthat,”Navysaid.
“Itwasniceofyoutomakesuresheate,sweetie,”Mrs Gibsonsaidtome “Butnexttime,don’tdoitinmylibrary” “Yesma’am.”Ismiledandshewalkedaway.
“Ohmygod,you’regoingtogetmeintotrouble,”Navyhiss-pered “Nah,theteachersloveme.Niceimprovwiththeglucosething.” Sheshrugged.“Itwasn’timprov.It’strue.” Ifrowned.“Seriously?”
Navynodded.“IhavetomakesureIeateveryfewhoursorIcouldpassout.Ikeepagranolabarinmybackpackincase.” “Shit,sorry”
“Youdon’tneedtobesorry.Itiswhatitis,andI’velearnedtolivewithit.”
“Well,ifyoueverfeeldizzy,letmeknow,okay,andI’llcatchyouifyoufall...orfindyousomethingtoeat.” Shesmiled.“Yep,okay,I’llbesuretodothat.”
Ifrowned “I’mserious,cupcake,Iwantyoutotellme” “IthoughtIwasSparkles?”
“Didn’tquitefit Tryingoutanewone NotsureIlikeit,though”Icockedmyhead “I’mgonnafindit” Navyletoutaquietsnort.“Navy’sjustfine.”
“No,you’retooprettynottohaveanickname”HerexpressionwasguardedagainandIfrowned “What?” “Don’tsaythingslikethat,Cade,”shesaidquietly.
“Saythingslikewhat?”
“ThatI’mpretty”ShemetmyeyesagainandIcouldseesadnessandalittlefearinhers “Youdon’thavetosaythatifyou don’tmeanit.”
“Whohurtyou?”
Sheblinkedbacktearsandrushedtothrowherbookintoherbackpack.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Iasked
“I’mgoingtogo.Youprobablyneedtogetthattraybacktothecafeteriabeforeyournextclass.”
“Youdidn’tfinishyourlunch.”
“Thecupcake ”Sheswallowedbeforeshakingherhead “Ah thedessertwasgood Thanks” Sheslungherbackpackoverhershoulderandwalkedaway.
Navy
Ihightaileditoutofthelibraryandwentstraighttothetoilet,shuttingmyselfinastallbeforeIcompletelybrokedown Ihad almosttwentyminutesbeforemynextclass,butthatwasn’tawholelotoftimetopull myselftogether,soIreallyneededto figuresomethingout,anddoitquickly
I did a few breathingexercises I’d learned intherapyand worked to calmmyself down. It wasn’t easybecause I was havingadifficulttimetryingtoforgeteverythingCadesaid.CadewasthekindofguyIcouldfallinlovewith,buthewasalso notthekindofguywhowouldeverfallinlovewithme,soIcouldn’tfigureoutwhathisgamewas. And,boydidIwishitwasn’tagameatall.
Thechatterofvoiceshadmeholdingmybreathandpullingmyfeetupontothebowl ThelastthingIneededwasanyone discoveringIwasinherecrying.
“IhavenoideawhatCadeseesinthelittlemouse” Ugh. Nevaeh. “Nevaeh,benice.”
ThatsoundedlikeCelia.
“I’mjustsaying,he’s,like,thequarterbackofthevarsityteam,heshouldgowithacheerleader.Notsomegirlwhoshoves hernoseinabook,”Nevaehlamented “Andshe’sfromsomeisland Sheprobablyeatscoconutsforbreakfast” Irolledmyeyes.We’renotthatkindofisland,youtwat.
“Idon’tthinkNewZealand’sknownforcoconuts,”Celiasaid
“Whatdoyouknow?”
“IthinkCelmightberight,”anothervoicesaid.“I’mprettysureit’snotlikeHawai’i.IdidapaperonAustraliainthefifth grade,andIrememberlookingupsomethingsaboutNewZealandtoo”
“Didanyoneaskyouforageographylesson, Melissa?”
“Well,no,but ” “Thenshutup. ”
“Nevaeh,don’tbemean”
Again,thiswasCelia,andIwasgladIwasrightabouther.Shewasgenuine,afterall. Nevaehscoffed.“I’mjustsaying,hecouldhaveacheerleader.Someonelike...” “You?”Celiafinishedforher
“Well,weallknowIcouldtotallygethim.Imean,IdidshoothimdownwhenhewantedtomakeoutatJeremySpencer’s partylastsummer Butyouknow,itwasnobigdeal”
“Thenwhydoyoutellthestoryatleastonceaweek?”Melissagrumbled. Shewasclosestinproximitytome,soIheardherloudandclear “WhatwasthatMelissa?”Nevaehdemanded.
“Iwasjustsayingyou’retoogoodforhim.”
“Well, whatever, Ihaven’tdecided who’s worthyenoughto take me to prom, so we’ll justsee. I’mkeepingmyoptions open.”
“Andyourlegs,”Melissasaidunderherbreath Ibitbackalaugh.Melissamightjustbeokay,too.
“Ifyoumutteronemorething,Melissa,Isweartogod,I’mgoingtocutyourthroatwithmynailfile” “Nevaeh!”Celiaadmonished.“Stop.”
“Iwasjustjoking,”Nevaehretorted “Whatever Weneedtofocusonthemouseandmakesureshedoesn’ttrytonibbleoff ofmycheese.”
Thefirstwarningbellsounded,andNevaehgroaned.“IfIgetonemoretardyslip,I’mgoingtogetdetention.”
“Then,let’sgo,”Celiasaid “I’llwalkwithyou”
Iheardthedooropenthencloseandsetmyfeetbackonthefloor.OnceIknewthecoastwasclear,Irushedtosplashwater onmyfaceandmadeamaddashtomynextclass
Cade
Idropped the traybackinthe cafeteria, findingone lone cupcake inthe case so Isnagged itwhile Bernice wasn’tlooking, wrappingthe treatinthe napkinbefore headingto mylocker There was no signofNavyand Ihated thatImighthave said somethingtohurtherfeelings.Isighed,arrivingatmyclassjustasthefinalbellrung.
Whenschoolgotout,Ilookedforher,withoutsuccess,andknewifIwaitedanylonger,I’dmissmybus,soIhauledassto thestopjustasitpulledup.
Tonightwas myone nightoff. No football practice, no work, nothing. Justour weeklyfamilynightwhichwe all looked forwardto Well,maybenotmybigbrother,Connor Hewasalmosttwentyandamechanic,workingindowntownSanDiego foroneofthe‘brothers’ofamotorcycleclub.Dadhadhittheroofwhenhe’dboughtaHarley,butConwasanadultandhad movedoutsoonafterheturnedeighteen,sotherewasn’tmuchDadcouldsay ConnorstillmadeittofamilynighteveryweekanditwasprobablymorebecauseofMom.Shewasdefinitelythegluethat heldusalltogether.
Iwalkedintothehouseandslippedoffmyshoes. “Cade,isthatyou?”Momcalled.
“Yeah,Mom”
Shewalkedintothefoyerfromthekitchenandsmiled.“Hey,baby,howwasschool?”
“Itwasgood”
Shecockedherhead.“Good,huh?I’veneverheardyousayschoolwasgoodbefore.” Ichuckled.“Well,Imadeanewfriend.”
“Ohyeah?”sheasked.“Agirl?” Ishrugged.“Maybe.”
“LetmejustcheckonCricketandthenIwanttohearallaboutit”
Mybabysister, Christina, was three, and she’d beena ‘surprise.’I had two other brothers besides Connor, Cullenand Cameron, who were thirteenand eightrespectively, and Momand Dad had thoughttheir days ofbabies were over Butthen Christinaarrived,andshewasbothnoisyandalittleterroronceshelearnedtowalk,sowecalledherCricket.
Momheadeddownthehall,peekinginonmysister,thenmadeherwaybacktothekitchen.“She’sstillasleep.I’llwake herinafew,otherwise,shewon’tsleepallnight”Shesqueezedmyarm “Now,tellmeaboutthisgirl”
Idraggedmyselfhomeatclosetosix-thirty,andlockeduponceIwasinsidetheapartment.“Mum?”
“Kitchen,”shecalledback,andIsighedwithrelief
Shesoundedbright,happy...andsober.
Droppingmybackpackonthesofa,Imademywaytoher,andshesmiledatmefromherplacebythestove “Hi,honey” “Hi.”Ikissedheronthecheek.“Whatyacookin’?”
“Macandcheese It’stheboxkind,soIhopethat’sokay”
“It’sgreat,Mum,thanks.”
Mumworkedata local diner andeventhoughshe made minimumwage,plus tips,things were usuallytight.She always madesureIhadbreadandlunchmeatforschool,cereal,milk,thatsortofthing,butIdon’tthinkI’dhadasteakorroastchicken foraslongaswe’dlivedintheStates,notjustSanDiego.
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