Dedication
TO THOSEWHO TOOKAWHILETO FIND THEIRVOICE
IT'S OKAY.
WEEVENTUALLYROAR.
Playlist
Atlantis-Seafret
FallingApart-MichaelSchulte MiddleofTheNight–ElleyDuhe Gods&Monsters–LanaDelRey Infinity–JaymesYoung TheNightWeMet–LordHuron Arcade–DuncanLaurence BlackOutDays–Phantogram IfYouWantLove–NF FeelSomething–JaymesYoung PowerOverMe–DermotKennedy Bored–BillieEilish Power–IsakDanielson
GildedLily(SpedUp)–Cults Daylight–DavidKushner Twisted–Missio CrazyInLove(EpicTrailerVersion)–J2,Wulf Prisoner–RaphaelLake,AaronLevy,DanielRyanMurphy Lovely–LaurenBabic,Seraphim IWannaBeYours–ArcticMonkeys IFeelLikeI'mDrowning–TwoFeet TheFeels–Labrinth DustTillDawn(TikTokRemix)–TommyMuzzic,PHAZZED WarofHearts–Ruelle
Glossary&Terms
CharacterNamesPronunciation:
Carnaxa:/car-nax-a/
Thylas:/thigh-lus/ Ereon:/air-E-on/
Siphonie:/siph-oh-knee/
Rhenor:/rain-er/
SigilsOfTheNorthernContinent:
Antalis(An-Tall-is)Kingdom: Blue&gold;crescentmoonholdingatridentabove Shaston(Sha-s-ton)Kingdom: Silver&black;snakeinthemiddleofthesun Midaeliea(Mid-A-Lee-ah)Kingdom: Green&brown;largetreeinacirclewithrootsrunningdeep
Lunaryear:Twelvesynodicmonths.
Mooncycles:Eightphasesoneaftertheotherasthemoonmovesthroughitscycle.Onemonth.
AntalisStructure&TitlesinAntihana:
King/Queen: Tinge / T-E-n-g-e/
Queen: Telae /te-l-e/
Princess: Su Kechni - /Sue K-E-ch-n-eye/
Prince: Myesh Kechni/My-e-sh-k-E-ch-n-eye/
Lady: Bêlit /b-E-lit/
Lord: Bêl /B-E-ll/
RoyalGuard: Ke Neye /K-e ne-ya-E/
GroundArmy: Shayi maka /Sh-a-ya-E m-ah-k-ah/
WaterFleet: Shayi Yengo /Sh-a-ya-E ya-e-na-o/
Army: Shayi /Sh-a-ya-E/
Antihana-TheLanguageofTheGoddess
Mohasha /mo-ha-sh-a/:Theafterlife
Festival of Täht /t-ah-t/ and Mar /m-are/: Festival of Stars and Seas. Annual festival in Antalis that coincides with the Shæmi fishtohonortheGoddess.
Kosæ/ko-s-eye/: Fuck
Nohæ/ no-h-eye/ : (Youwillfindout)
Na iwo /na-E-wo/: Playfultermforsomeonewholosesagame.
Mæna /m-eye-n-ah/ : Pleasurewoman;womanforhireinAntalis
Noko Maki /no-ka-oma-ka-E/:TheShellCeremonyofAntalians,muchlikeaweddingceremony. Neni/ne-nE/:Officialceremonytodenyand/orbreakatwindrop.
Ata /ah-t-ah/: WhatyoungchildrencalltheirmothersinAntalis.
Hayæ /ha-ya-eye/:FlowersusedinAntalistosymbolizecelebrations.
Pasa /p-ah-s-ah/: FlowersusedinAntalistosymbolizegrief
Shæwi Koki /sha-eye-we k-o-k-E/: Whentwindrops are found after a Noko Maki is performed, the individuals create a familyunit.
Neshæ Pekæ Ra , Lengo Ra , Noko Ra /na-e-sh-eye ˈp-ek-eye ra , ˈla-e-na-o ra , ˈna-ok-o ra/ : AnAntalianPrayer.Watch overher,guideher,loveher The“ra”partcanbetakenouttoreadas:Watchover,guide,love
Creatures:
Pesho /pe-sh-o/: Fluffywhitebeastrumoredtobringgoodluck Signofnewbeginnings Khind: Darkcreaturesofthepass.
Pitongi /pE-t-on-gE/ birds: Seagulls.
Shæmi /sh-eye-mE/ fish:Greatfish,reveredusedduringtheFestivalofTäht&Mar. Wəngesk /w-en-g-e-sk/: Giantelephantsquid,highlyrevered.
Taoho /ta-oho/ : Small,beautifulcreaturesthatglowblueasthewavescrestalongtheshoreline
EPIGRAPH
“The moon herself grew dark, rising at sunset, Covering her suffering in the night, Because she saw her beautiful namesake, Selene, Breathless, descending to Hades, With her, she had had the beauty of her light in common, And mingled her own darkness with her death.”
~Crinagoras of Mytilene
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corners, since only their pinnacles were visible from the court, and these I had always supposed to be on the roof itself.
"Why, Amabel, did you know those towers were there?" I exclaimed.
"No," answered Amabel; "and what is that little building that joins on the church?"
"Perhaps it is the cell in which Sister Marie des Anges lived so many years. Don't you remember mother assistant telling us the story?"
"Who was she?" asked Mrs. Thorpe, glad to see us a little diverted from our grief
"She was a very holy lady who once belonged to our house a great while ago—a hundred years, I dare say," replied Amabel. "She lost her mother when she was about sixteen, and she had a great vocation. Her father, who had several younger children, would not consent to her entering a convent, thinking she ought to take care of her little brothers and sisters. So she shut herself up in a room at home, and would not eat with the family, or see any of them if she could help it, and she slept on the floor and wore sackcloth. At last her father died, and she could do as she pleased; so she built a little cell opening from the church, and caused herself to be bricked up in it with but one window, opening to the church, and there she lived—never coming out, or washing her face, or changing her clothes, till they were all worn-out."
"She must have been a pleasant neighbor!" interrupted Mrs. Thorpe. "I should have liked a seat on the other side of the church myself. In England, we think cleanliness is next to godliness. But how did this pious lady spend her time?"
"In prayer, mostly," answered Amabel; "but she used to work beautiful lace and sell it for the benefit of the house." *
* I beg pardon of the Canadians for transplanting to another time and place this paragon, who really belongs to them. Her biographer remarks that she was exercised with a perpetual aridity of spirit No wonder!
"I should not like to be the one to wear it," responded Mrs. Thorpe, who did not seem to admire this saintly personage at all. "You have told the story very nicely, my dear. Shall I tell you a tale of one of my saints?"
"Oh! Do, if you please!" said both together, and Amabel added: "I did not know Protestants had saints."
"Oh, yes, we have them, but they are rather different. Well, this young maid, like yours, was bereft of her mother when she was seventeen, and she had four little brothers and sisters. Her father was a clergyman—you know Protestant clergy marry and very poor
"This young lady had been taught by her mother, who was a well-educated lady. She had most of the care of the family, for her father had a large parish, and very little means, so that he was obliged to till a piece of land to help out the living.
"So my young maid—her name was Mary, too—heard her brother's Latin accidence, and so on till he was ready to go to a foundation school, where he got an Oxford scholarship, and was made a professor or master, I don't know just what they call it. Another brother got a berth on a good ship, and now commands a fine vessel of his own.
"Of her two sisters, one keeps a girls' school at Gateshead, where she has brought up many fine girls to be blessings to their families. The other married a sailor, who, after many prosperous voyages was cast away in sight of his own home; and now she keeps a shop, where all the fine ladies about come to buy laces, gloves, and sweet waters, and oftentimes to learn embroidery stitches and the like.
"My saint herself lived to lay her honored father's head in the grave, and to see every one of his children doing well in all ways, and then she went home to her well-earned rest. Yes, indeed, my Mary, my more than mother!—Thou dost rest from thy labors, and thy works do follow thee!"
"That is my saint, girls," said Mrs. Thorpe, after a little pause. "How do you like her?"
"I think she was lovely!" said Amabel, with enthusiasm. "And all the better because she did not choose her own work. It was just as if God himself set her a task, was it not?"
"Yes, my dear Mrs. Amabel, God sets us all tasks, if we would but see them."
"And was this lady your sister?" I asked.
"Yes, my dear, my oldest sister; and if I ever have done any good in this world, it is owing to her. I will show you her picture at home. A traveling artist drew it for us. But it was odd you should never have known of this cell," said Mrs. Thorpe, returning to Amabel's tale. "Does it not open to the church now?"
"No; I believe she was built up in it after she died. But there are a great many places about our house that we never saw."
"That is what I don't like—I mean all that mystery!" said Mrs. Thorpe. "I like things to be open and above board. Not that I mean to say one word about the ladies in the house we have left, who have been most kind, I am sure. I am only thinking what chances all this concealment gives to wicked or tyrannical persons. Suppose a nun misbehaves, or is thought to do so. She disappears, and word goes that she is sick. By and by it is said that she is dead. But who knows what has become of her?"
"But such things would never happen in a religious house," said I, half offended.
"My dear, human nature is a poor creature, as my dear father used to say, when he could find no other excuse for somebody. It is not fit to be trusted with arbitrary power."
"The Jesuits and the archbishop of Paris were religious persons when they persecuted Mother Angelique and the other people at Port Royal," said Amabel, who had heard that great lady's story many a time from Mother Perpetua; "but I am sure, Mrs. Thorpe, no one was ever persecuted in our house."
"I dare say not, my dear; I was only speaking of what might be."
This discussion had thoroughly diverted us, and made us forget to turn back for that last look we had promised ourselves. It was just as well, for such last looks are of no particular use.
We now began to see so many wonders, and these wonders increased upon us so fast as we drew near the city that we were silent from very amazement, and could only use our eyes. The crowded ways and marketplaces, the shops, the soldiers marching through the streets, the universal bustle of a seaport town—were enough to surprise and bewilder any
country-bred person, much more two little cage-birds like ourselves, who had never in all our lives seen a dozen strange faces.
By the time we reached the lodging which the care of Captain Lowther had provided for us, we were thoroughly tired out, and ready to eat our supper and go to bed earlier even than we were used to do. We had both one chamber, with two little white and pink beds furnished with canopies. There was also a full-length mirror in our room, and various other luxuries. I dare say the place would look dingy enough to us now, but at that time it was quite a fairy palace.
"What a soft bed!" said I, as I lay down. "I don't know what Mother Prudentia would say to it."
"She would say we must not talk in bed, I suppose," replied Amabel. "What are they all doing at our old home?"
"They are at service in the church," said I, as a clock on the mantel-piece struck seven. "Does it not seem strange that we may sit up till nine o'clock if we choose."
"I could not I am sure, I am too sleepy," answered Amabel. "It seems as though I had lived a hundred years since morning. Good-night, Lucy."
The novelty of my position and the strange and to me alarming sounds in the street kept me awake for two hours—a very long time to lie awake at seventeen. I thought over all my past life, and wondered what the future would be like. I wasted a good deal of conjecture upon my probably position at Highbeck Hall—such was the name of the place where Amabel's aunt lived. I thought of the story of Mary Lowther which we had heard in the morning, and wondered—rather scared at myself for doing so—whether Protestants were after all such bad people, and whether bringing up motherless children, or even children of one's own, was not as high a vocation as building oneself up in a hole in the wall, and living in rags and dirt for twenty years.
Finally I wondered myself to sleep, and did not wake till Mrs. Thorpe called me in the morning. What a wonderful thing it was to have a mirror to dress by. I was positively bewildered by it at first, and found I could manage better in the old way.
We saw very little of Toulon. There was some disturbance in the town, owing, I believe, to the escape of some galley slaves, which made it unpleasant to be in the streets. I know there was a great marching to and fro of soldiers, and once or twice the firing of guns.
We went out once, however, under the escort of Captain Lowther, to buy some new clothes, and see some sights. We had new frocks alike of dark silk, which were quite superb in our eyes, and thick grey woolen frocks, and warm cloaks, which Mrs. Thorpe said we should need on the voyage, since it was always cold at sea.
On our return from this expedition, a great surprise befell us. We found Father Brousseau waiting for us, and learned that he was to go to England in the same ship with us. He informed us that a relative in the north of England had left him a small property, and beside that, he wished to visit the noble family where he had once been confessor, and perhaps he might remain with them.
He has since told me that his superiors that it as well for him to leave France for a time, since he had drawn upon himself the enmity of a noble and powerful family, who would have no scruple in revenging themselves even on a priest. It was known or guessed that he had been the means of discovering that plot for sacking the convent which had so
nearly succeeded, and his life, it was said, had already been threatened by some of the Count de Crequi's family.
Those were terribly lawless times in France. The country was full of soldiers disbanded or deserted after the peace, ready to beg, rob, or murder, as might suit their purpose best, and prepared for any desperate undertaking which promised plunder. The great nobles oppressed their tenants and their weaker neighbors with impunity, and revelled in all sorts of luxury, while the same tenants ate boiled grass and nettles, or died of starvation at their gates. They say people are making an effort now to set things straight, but from all I hear, not much good is likely to come of it. Folks who have been crushed down to the level of brute beasts are pretty likely to act like wild beasts when once they get loose.
We sailed from Toulon in the first days of August, and arrived in Newcastle in about ten or twelve days. We had a stormy passage, and Amabel and I were very sick a great deal of the time, so that Mrs. Thorpe had her hands full with waiting on us. Father Brousseau was not much better than we, but he made a heroic effort to crawl upon deck every day that the captain would allow him to be there, and, so Mrs. Thorpe averred, gave wonderfully little trouble for a man.
How thankful we were to be once more upon dry land; even though that land was none of the most attractive. Everyone knows that Newcastle is the very centre of the great coal trade of the North. It seemed to us, as we landed on the wharf, and toiled up the narrow steep street to that part of the town where Mrs. Thorpe lived, that everything was begrimed with coal-dust. The very faces of the babies were darkened with it, and we seemed to breathe it in the air. The streets were narrow and the dingy houses were old and tumble-down—and seemed to hum with people, like a hive. I suppose Mrs. Thorpe read some dismay in our looks, for she said kindly
"This is but a poor part of the town, young ladies; you will come to a better presently."
And in effect, we did come out on a wider and more quiet street, where there were a few handsome old houses, and several shops of the better sort, at the doors of which handsome equipages—carriages, or Sedan chairs, were standing. It was to one of the neatest of these houses, that Mrs. Thorpe directed our steps. I noticed at once, that the good-sized windows were clear and bright, the pavement in front well cleaned, and the two stone steps which led down into the shop were as white as hands could make them.
"Welcome to my poor house, young ladies!" said Mrs. Thorpe, turning to us as we entered. "I hope I shall be able to make you comfortable, though I am not much used to entertaining ladies of quality. Well, Rebecca, and how do you do?"
"Right well, Clarissa, and glad to see thee back!" said a prim little old lady, who rose from her seat behind the counter, and welcomed Mrs. Thorpe with a joy which was more forcibly expressed in her beautiful grey eyes, than in her words.
We looked at her in some surprise; taking her in her grey dress, white kerchief and close cap, for a sister of some religious order.
"These are the two young ladies whom my brother has brought over from France," said Mrs. Thorpe, after she had shaken hands with her friend. "This is Mrs. Amabel Leighton, and this is Mrs. Lucy Corbet, her companion and kinswoman."
The good woman made some kind of salutation, and then began asking questions of Mrs. Thorpe, about her voyage, and answering others in her turn; while we stood patiently,
almost forgetting our fatigue in observing the strange new place in which we found ourselves.
The shop was a large one for the place and time. It was exquisitely neat, and crammed full of goods—laces, ribbons, fans, china jars, and monsters of all kinds, and the air was quite heavy with the perfume of scented soaps, hair powder, and essences.
"But there, my dears, I won't keep you here, when I know you are tired to death. Come up stairs directly. Where is Betsy? How do you do, my lass?" As a stout neat looking servantmaid came in, wiping her hands and greeting her mistress in some language, which no doubt was intended for English, but which her Northumbrian burr, made absolutely unintelligible to me. "I suppose the young ladies' rooms are ready, Betsy!"
Betsy signified as much, and Mrs. Thorpe led the way up stairs, and herself introduced us to a little parlor very neatly and prettily furnished, decorated with some beautiful china, and with a great bow pot of flowers standing in the window. There were snow-white curtains to the deep windows, and a Turkey rug, old and faded, but still beautiful, on the centre of the floor. The furniture was heavy and black with age, but bright as rubbing could make it; and what most attracted my attention at the moment, a tall press full of books occupied a recess on one side of the fireplace.
From this pretty parlor opened two light closets, each of which held a little bed, a chair, and a dressing-table, with a small round mirror hung over it. The sitting-room window looked out on a small, but neatly kept garden, and through an opening between two great trees at the bottom, we could see the tower of a grand old church.
"This will be your room, my dears—young ladies, I should say as long as you remain with me," said Mrs. Thorpe. "I bade Betsy get it ready, thinking you would like the view into the garden."
"It is a beautiful room!" said Amabel. "Dear Mrs. Thorpe, how kind you are to us. But you must not let us take up the best part of your house."
"Oh! I have plenty of room, never fear," answered Mrs. Thorpe smiling. "The house is a large one. I used to take lodgers, but I don't do it any more. My shop gives me enough to look to, and I have been wonderfully prospered and cared for. These books and most of the furniture of this room, belonged to my honored father; and were placed here for my sister Mary—the one I told you of when she came to make her home with me. See! Here are your mails—and I dare say you will like to wash, and change your clothes. It is always the first thing I want to do when I come off the ship."
A stout serving-man, who looked as if he had never been hungry in his life, brought up our little trunks. Betsy, who had left the room for a minute, followed him with a great can of hot water, and a heap of clean towels; and Mrs. Thorpe left us to our toilets.
Mine was soon made, and as the window was open, I ventured to satisfy my curiosity, by leaning out. I made the discovery that our next door neighbors were very quiet ones. The house stood near a small grey-stone church, standing in a church-yard thickly sown with stones, and unmarked graves. On the other side, our garden was bounded by a high wall on which was trained a vine of some sort; over this, I could just see a bit of what looked like a grand mansion of brick and stone. I announced my discovery to Amabel, who came to look in her turn.
"Yes, it all seems quiet and nice," said she, "and the room is very pretty. I did not think there could be such a pretty place in this ugly town."
"It is dreadfully ugly, at least all we have seen of it," I admitted. "Perhaps it is not all so. You know Mrs. Thorpe said we came through a poor part of it. See what a pretty house that is beyond the church-yard, where the gentleman is just coming out. There, he is coming to the church. I wonder if he can be the priest."
"He does not look like one, though I am sure I don't know what an English priest does look like. But, Lucy, what would Mother Prudentia say to our staring out of window at a strange man?"
I drew back quickly enough, feeling, I don't know why, rather vexed at Amabel's words.
The gentleman in question was a tall, stout young man of thirty, or thereabouts, not at all handsome, but with something very attractive in his face. He was twirling a thick stick, and whistling to a rough little dog, which ran to and fro among the monuments.
Somehow I took a liking to that gentleman the moment I saw him. There was a kind of real manliness about him which made one feel that he was a person to be relied upon in case of danger or distress. I took another peep and saw that he was pulling up some weeds from a baby's grave.
"Well, my dears—I must learn to say young ladies, I suppose, now you are at home in England," said Mrs. Thorpe, knocking and entering at the same moment. "But, laws me, it does come so easy to me to mother all young girls for the sake of my own two—I suppose you are quite ready for your suppers. Will you join us at the table, or shall I send you something up here?"
"Oh, we will go to the table," answered Amabel; "and, dear Mrs. Thorpe, I am sure we shall be only too glad to be mothered, as you say. We are all ready, if you please."
"Please, Mrs. Thorpe, who is that lady below in the shop?" I ventured to ask as we descended the stairs. "Is she a sister?"
"No, she is not a sister, but a Friend," answered Mrs. Thorpe, smiling. "She is what people call a Quaker. Have you none in France?"
"I do not know," replied Amabel; "we know not much more about France than England."
"Ah! Yes, that is true. Well, the Friends are a people by themselves, and have their own ways and notions—very odd ones, too, some of them are. They never go to church, and have no sacraments, and no settled order of clergy, but they hold by the Bible, and are very good, honest kind of people. Some of their women, even, are ministers, like Rebecca Carter's sister. Rebecca is a good creature, and very faithful to me, but she has her ways, as who has not? You must not mind if she calls you by your plain, Christian names. That is a part of her religion."
At another time, I suppose all this would have surprised me very much, but the last two or three weeks had been so full of wonders that I was beginning to lose the power of being surprised at anything.
We followed Mrs. Thorpe into a kind of back-parlor, or better-most kitchen, I don't know just which to call it, where the table was set for several persons. Mrs. Thorpe placed Amabel and myself on either side of her, at the head of the table. She then rang a little hand bell, and two or three neat looking young women came in from another room, and took their places near the foot of the board. Mrs. Thorpe said grace, and Amabel and I crossed ourselves, as we had always been used to do. I saw one of the girls glance at another and smile contemptuously. Unluckily, Mrs. Thorpe saw it too.
"Betty Humble will leave the table," said she.
Betty colored furiously, and began to stammer some excuse, but Mrs. Thorpe made an imperative gesture, which sent Betty out of the room, bursting into tears as she shut the door behind her with more force than was quite needful. I felt sorry for the girl, though I had felt my cheeks burn the moment before, and I glanced at Amabel, rather hoping she would intercede for the banished Betty; but she said not a word, nor did anything in her face show that she was at all disturbed.
The supper was brought in by Betsy, the stout servant-maid, who waited at table more skillfully than I would have expected from her appearance. The meal was abundant, and nicely cooked, and, as it was the first meal I ever ate in England, I remember it well. We had a fine pair of roasted fowls, boiled potatoes, light as meal (the very first, by the way, that I had ever seen, for they have never been very commonly used in France, and at that time were not known in our parts). Also, we had a great bowl of frumenty, or wheat boiled with milk, and a mountain of a brown loaf.
I thought of our dear mothers and sisters in France, sitting down to their meal of coarse bread and milk, and not too much of that, and it gave me almost a guilty feeling. It seemed as if I had no right to the savory wing of fowl that Mrs. Thorpe put upon my plate, and the tears rose to my eyes in spite of me. Mrs. Thorpe noticed the change in my countenance, as, indeed, she always saw everything.
"What is it, my dear? Anything wrong?"
"No, madame," I answered, making a great effort to compose myself. And then, feeling that I owed her an explanation, I added in French, and in a low tone:
"I was thinking of the mothers and sisters at St. Jean, and wishing they had my supper."
"Bless your kind heart, Mrs. Lucy, I wish they had!" answered the good woman. "I am sure they should be heartily welcome to the best my house could afford, if they were only here, or I could send it to them. But do not let the thought spoil your supper, my dear. If those who give to the poor lend to the Lord, the good ladies have a fine estate out at interest into which they will come some day. Anne Thwaites, don't let me see you bend over to your meat in that way you will be growing as crooked as a rams-horn before you are forty."
Anne, a delicate looking girl, pulled herself up, blushing and smiling at the same time. So the meal proceeded with a little conversation, and now and then a remark addressed to the apprentice lasses, for so I found them to be.
After all was cleared away, the servants—Betsy, the man who had brought up our trunks, and an elderly woman, whom Mrs. Thorpe addressed as Mrs. Crump, came in and took their seats. A large Bible and prayer-book were laid before Mrs. Thorpe; she read a chapter, and then a prayer in a reverent devout manner, all joining in the Lord's prayer at the end. If she had asked us to be present, I suppose we should have refused; but either because she thought it the more discreet way, or from sheer forgetfulness, she never said a word about it, but took our attendance for granted.
The chapter was the beautiful story of the Shunamite, and that was the first word I ever heard out of the Old Testament, except indeed the Psalms, most of which I knew by heart. I observed that Rebecca Carter did not come in to family prayers, but remained in the shop, where also she had her supper. I concluded that this was one of the "ways" that Mrs. Thorpe had told us of.
It was August, and the days were growing shorter, but the evening was warm and dry, and Mrs. Thorpe invited us to go out into her garden.
"It is but a small place compared to that you have been used to!" said she. "But yet it is not so bad for a town garden, and the church-yard being next, gives us plenty of fresh air."
"I think it is a lovely garden!" said Amabel with great enthusiasm, and indeed it was.
Every nook and corner was improved to some good purpose, either filled with such hardy flowers as flourished so far north, or with sweet herbs or berry bushes. The sunny wall had an apricot trained upon it, and there were two grand standard pear trees, and a low bushy apple tree, all three laden with fruit. There was also a pretty arbor, covered with a great Virginia vine, just beginning to turn red.
"My husband brought that vine from over-seas in America, himself," observed Mrs. Thorpe, "as well as that tree you see yonder, in the church-yard; the tree has beautiful flowers upon it. My sister's grave, and that of our two daughters are just under it."
"Were your daughters grown up, madame?" I ventured to ask.
"They were just about your age. They were both taken in one week's time of a fever, which was in the town."
"That was very sad!" said I.
"Yes, my dear, very sad. I hardly knew how to bear it at first, and I do not know but I should have sunk under the blow, only that many of our neighbors were ill, and needed my help. Would you believe it, my dears? In that very house next door, the mother was taken down, and her own sons and daughters would not go near her, but left her wholly to the care of a wretch, who drank the wine given for her patient, and then ran away and left her. I went in to see her, and by good hap, was in time to save her from sinking at the crisis of the fever."
"'My good Mrs. Thorpe, it is very kind of you to look after Mama!' said one of the daughters, in her fine lady lisp and drawl; 'but I suppose it is natural to you to like to take care of the sick.'"
"'Madam!' says I. 'I hope it will never be natural to me to desert those who need my help, whether they be strangers, or my own flesh and blood,' says I."
"Oh! I gave them a bit of my mind, I promise you; they were greatly offended and would not come into my shop for a long time; but I let them alone and they got over it."
"Do they live there now?" I asked, much interested.
"Oh, no! They are all gone. One daughter married, and died of the smallpox. The other wedded a fine London gentleman, who soon gambled away all her property, and left her in great poverty and distress, poor thing. She lives in a little cottage over in Gateshead, on what she can make from the rent of this house; which is not much, for it is in bad repair, yet a fine old mansion too, and I will show you over it some day. See! Here are some monthly roses—a bud for each of you."
"Have you not a bud for me also?" asked a cheery voice, from over the stone wall next the church-yard.
We all turned round, and there stood the tall gentleman we had seen before. He was leaning on the wall, and lifted his hat politely.
"Ah! Mr. Cheriton, I did not know your Reverence was in town!" answered Mrs. Thorpe, curtsying low. "I fear there are no more rose-buds, but here is a clove pink if you will have it."
"And when did you come home from foreign parts?" asked Mr. Cheriton, accepting the pink with a bow, and putting it in his button-hole.
"Only to-day, your Reverence. This is Mrs. Amabel Leighton, and her kinswoman, Mrs. Lucy Corbet, who have come home, and are staying with me, till they can go to their aunts at Highbeck house."
"That is not likely to be very soon, I fear, unless both of these young ladies have had smallpox!" said Mr. Cheriton. "I have just come home from my father's, and went over to pay my respects to the old ladies, who made me the bearer of dispatches to yourself."
Mr. Cheriton bowed to us severally as he spoke, and then produced a letter bound with a bit of floss silk, which he gave to Mrs. Thorpe. Then bowing again, and whistling to his dog, he departed. Mrs. Thorpe led us into her own parlor behind the shop, where we waited in some anxiety, while she read the note the gentleman had handed her.
"Here is a change of affairs with a witness!" said she, when she had succeeded in making out its contents. "My dear young ladies, can you content yourselves to live with me for a few weeks? Your aunt writes that they have two cases of smallpox in the house, and that they are every day expecting Mrs. Chloe, the youngest lady, to come down with the same, and that she would prefer to have you remain with me till the danger is over. I think you told me you had never had the smallpox."
"Not unless we were very young at the time," we told her.
"Ah, then we will run no risks. But can you content yourselves with living quietly in my plain way for a little, or would you rather go to my sister's school, where you can have companions of your own age?"
We assured her that we would rather stay with her than go anywhere else, and, indeed, I think we both felt it to be a reprieve. We had grown to love Mrs. Thorpe, and to feel confidence in her, and the notion of strange companions of our own age was rather alarming than attractive. So the matter was settled. We would make it our home for the present, with good Mrs. Thorpe, who would on the morrow send word to that effect to our aunts at Highbeck Hall.
"Amabel," said I, when we were once more alone in our own pretty room, "do you think we did wrong to be present at Protestant worship? Ought we to have come away?"
"No, I don't think so," answered Amabel, after a little consideration. "We could not help it, and there was nothing contrary to religion in the prayers."
"ButtherewasnoHailMary!OranyotherdevotiontothemotherofGod."
"Thatistrue.IbelieveProtestantsdonothonorheraswedo.But,Lucy,youknowhowwe usedtoreadthe'ImitationofChrist'overandover.MotherSuperioralwayshaditbyher whenshewasill,andthereisnotawordinthataboutthemotherofGod,anymorethan inMrs.Thorpe'sprayer."
"Thatistrueenough;Ineverthoughtofitbefore,"Ianswered.Then—changingthe subject—"Areyouglad,orsorry,thatwearenottogotoHighbeckHalldirectly?"
"Glad,onthewhole,"answeredAmabel."Itwillgiveusalittletimetorest,andgetused toEnglishways.Come,letussayourprayers,andgetreadyfornight.Thoselittlewhite bedslooksoniceaftertheberthsonboardship."
Theydid,indeed,butIhadonequestionmore.
"Amabel,whatdoyouthinkofMr.Cheriton?"
"Idon'tthinkofhimatall;—whyshouldI?"answeredAmabel,alittleshortly."Come,let usgotobed."
AndsoendedourfirstdayinEngland;butIthinkAmabeldidthinkalittlebitaboutthe tallyoungrectorafterall.
THEnextdayFatherBrousseaucametoseeus.Wehadbeensohurriedandflurriedatthe timeofourlandingthedaybefore,thatwehadhardlyexchangedadozenwords,andnow hecametobidusfarewellbeforegoingtohisfriendsinthecountry.
Theyhadsentsomeonetomeethim—agentleman-in-waitingofsomekind,andavery solemnanddignifiedpersonindeed,whoaccompaniedhimtoourhouse.Hehadfurnished thegoodpriestwithasuitofraiment,suchasiswornbyordinaryEnglishclergymen,not wishing,Isuppose,tohavehimattractnoticeasaforeigner.
Therewereatthetimeconsiderabledisturbancesinthecountry.AFrenchwarwas impending,andanapprehendedrisingoftheJacobites,oradherentstothehouseof Stuart,whichreallytookplacethenextyear,hadawakenedthe"nopopery"feeling,
CHAPTER IX.
LADY THROCKMORTON.
alwaysprevailingmoreorlessinthelowerandmiddleclasses.Imustsayhehadnot succeededverywellindisguisinghim,forFatherBrousseaulooked,ifpossible,more priestlythanever
Hewastoleavetownthatveryday,anditwaseasytoseethattheserving-manwas anxioustogethimaway.Indeed,hemadehisimpatiencesomanifest,thatourleavetakingwasratherahurriedone.Thefathergaveussomeadviceastoourconduct, enjoinedituponustoreadnohereticalbooks,andattendnohereticalservices,tosayour prayersandkeepathome,andtobeguidedbyMrs.Thorpeinallthingsnotbelongingto ourreligion.Hegaveuseachalittlepicture,andhisblessing,andbadeusfarewell.Idid notseehimformanyayearafterward,whentimesweregreatlychangedforbothofus.
Itmustbeconfessedthatforafewdays,welivedratheranidleandunprofitablelifeat Mrs.Thorpe's.Thegoodwomanherselfwasnaturallyverybusyafterherlongabsence, andsheleftusmuchtoourselves.Wehadneverbeenusedtotheorderingofourown timeanymoresinceweweregrownup,thanwhenwewerethreeyearsold.
Intheconventeveryhourbroughtitsownoccupation,inthesameregularroutine,day afterday,andyearafteryear,andweneverthoughtofanythingelse.Wehadneverbeen trainedtothinkordecideforourselvesinthesmallestmatter."Agoodreligioushasnowill ofherown,andnomorethinksofguidingherselfthandoestheneedleshesewswith," wasafavoritesayingofMotherSuperior's,andwehadbeenbroughtuponthesame principle.Amanwhohasneverlearnedtowalkalone,will,iflefttohimself,stumblejust asmuchatfiftyasatthree,andwillprobablyhurthimselfagooddealmore.Itis thereforenowonderthatbeing,asitwere,thussuddenlyputonourownfeet,andbade togo,wedidnotknowverywellhowtosetaboutit.
Mrs.Thorpe,asIhavesaid,hadprovideduswithaparlorofourown,butwelikedbetter tositinherroomwhichopenedfromtheshop,andwatchthemanycustomers—thefine ladieswhocameforessences,laces,andfans,andthehundredandonenothingsinwhich Mrs.Thorpedealt—tocheapenchinajarsanddragons,andgointoecstasiesovertinyteacupsandFrenchpaintedfans—andthestillfinergentlemenwhocametoseethefine ladies,lookoverthelastnovel—forMrs.Thorpeaddedthatofacirculatinglibrarytoher otherbusiness—anddiscussthelatestbitofnewsandscandal.
Mrs.Thorpeusuallyfoundormadetimetotakeawalkwithuseveryday,andwhenshe couldnotgoherself,shesentMrs.Crump,herhousekeeper,amostrespectablewoman, whomweparticularlyliked,becauseshehadcomefromCornwall,andcouldtellaboutthe placewhereourmothershadgrownup.
InthehouseIamafraid,wedawdledsadly.Wefoundourselvesforthefirsttimeamong books.Mrs.Thorpe,asIhavesaid,keptacirculatinglibrary,butshebynomeansmade usfreeofitscontents.However,shepickedoutforusMr.Thomson'sPoemsandDr. Young's,andthethennewromanceof"SirCharlesGrandison"initssevenclosely-printed littlevolumes,(thegoodRichardsonhadmadefourteeninthefirstplace)andallowedus toamuseourselveswiththese.*
* This is an anachronism. "Sir Charles Grandison" was published in 1751
Tosaythatwereadthesebookswasnothing.Wedevouredthem,readthemaloudtoeach other,andtalkedaboutthemfrommorningtillnight.Booksofanysortotherthan"Lives oftheSaints"and"Meditations"weresuchawondertousthatitisnotstrangeourheads werealittleturnedwiththem.IthinkAmabelandIhadourfirstdifferenceofopinionover
theamiableClementine,whomsheadmiredforherwonderfulspiritofself-sacrificeand piety,andwhomIthoughtasentimentallittlefool—(Ihaveneverchangedmymind)—and shewasdownrightvexedwithme,whenIlaughedoutrightatthepatheticimageofSir CharlesandClementineontheirkneestoeachother,andthefaithfulCamillapresentinga smelling-bottlealternatelytoeachoftheirnoses.Wewereactuallyrathercooltoeach otherforawholeday,butmadeupourquarrelatnightoverMr.Thomson'sdescriptionof athundershower.
IhavesaidthatMrs.Thorpe'sshopwasaresortforallthefinefolksintown.Itwasnot longbeforewebegantobeobservedaswesatintheback-parlor,whichwasdividedfrom theshopbyascreen.Inthisparlorwerekeptsomespecialboxesoflacetoopreciousto betrustedtotheoutershop,andhitheralsocamethefineladiestotryonthe"heads," ruffs,andsoon,whichtheyweremindedtopurchase.
Atthisdistanceoftime,Imaysaywithoutvanity,thatIwasanunusuallyprettygirl, thoughnotsohandsomeasAmabel.ShewasandisoneofthemostbeautifulwomenI eversawinmylife.Ihadadarkclearskin,withafreshcolor,andthecrispedorwaved blackhairsocommoninCornwall.Amabel,onthecontrary,wasfairanddelicateasalily, withdarkcleargreyeyes,andawonderfulprofusionofstraightgoldenhair,alittle incliningtoredness.Herfeatureswereregular,andshehadalwaysacalmplacidlook,a littlewondering,asitwere,asthoughherspirithadnotgotoveritssurpriseatthestrange spherewhereinitfounditself.
Ladiesbegantonoticeus,andgentlementopassandre-passthedooroftheparlor,and putuptheireye-glassestostareatus.AllthismadeMrs.Thorpealittleuneasy,andshe usednowandthentomakeapretexttosendusoutoftheroom.
Oneday,agrandequipagestoppedatthedoor,withagreatclatterofhorse-hoofs.A lackeyinafineliveryjumpeddownandopenedthedoor,andagentlemanwhowasinthe shoprushedforwardtogivehishandtoaveryfineladyindeed,whodescendedfromthe vehicle.Sheworeanimmensehoop,atleasteightyardsincircumference,asacqueand petticoatofcontrastingcolors.Herhairwascutandcurledcloseroundherwell-rouged andpatchedface,andsheworeaverysmallchiphatcockedupatoneside,andtrimmed withveryrich,whiteandsilverribbons.Thesesamewhiteribbonshadasignificance which,atthetime,Ididnotunderstand.Theladywasfollowedbyhergentlewomanin waiting,animpudentlookingpiece,nearlyasfineashermistress,whocarriedahorrid littlelap-doginherarms.
"Isitpossible?"exclaimedthegentleman,layinghishandonhisheartwithatheatricalair. "Domyeyesdeceiveme,ordoestheadorableLadyThrockmortondeignoncemoreto bestowonourbarbaroustownthelightofherpresence?Ihadthoughtnothingwould bringyoufromtheBathsatthistimeoftheyear."
"Andnothingwouldbutdirenecessity,Iassureyou,CaptainLovelace,"answeredthelady "ButSirJohn'smother,whoismuchinyearsandveryfrail,desiredtoseeherson,andSir Johnwouldnottravelwithoutme—indeedheisnotveryfittodoso—soasIcouldnot deprivethepoorladyofwhatmightbethelastsightofherson,Iwasobligedtoquitall thedeardelightsoftheBaths."
"Angelicgoodness!"saidCaptainLovelace.
"Nay,'twasnosuchgreatmatter.Weshallallcometoageandinfirmitysomeday.Mylady hasbeenagoodmothertoherson,andwouldhavebeentomeifIhadbutlether."
Theladyspoketheselastwordswithatoneexpressiveofsomeemotion.Ieventhought thereweretearsinherbeautifuleyes.Ifso,shesoondispersedthem,and,asifshewere ashamedofherlateseriousness,shebegantochatterthemostarrantnonsenseto CaptainLovelaceandherdog,alternately,—treatingtheonewithaboutasmuchrespect astheother,Ithought,whilesheturnedoverthecapsandapronsMrs.Thorpeshowed her,callingonehorrible—absolutelyhideousandrevolting—andanotherravishing,angelic! Perfectlydivine!
"Imustpositivelytrythison,mygoodThorpe;itisjustmystyle.Hasanyoneelseseen it?"
"Nobody,mylady.Ihavebutthismorningunpackedit,andIbroughtitfromFranceonlya fewdaysago.Ifyourladyshipwillstepintotheparlor."
AmabelandIweresittingintheparlor AmabelreadingandIbusywithsomepretenceof needlework.Weusuallyretiredonsuchoccasions,butIhadamindtoseealittlemoreof thisveryfinelady,andIamashamedtosayIpurposelyupsetmywork-basket,andset thespoolsrollingallaboutthefloor.Thetwogreykittensinstantlypounceduponthem, and,whileIwasrescuingmymaterials,LadyThrockmortonenteredtheroom.Shestood asiftransfixedforamoment.
"Whomhavewehere?Aghostfromtheotherworld!"sheexclaimed."Mrs.Thorpe,where haveyoufoundthislivingimageofpoorlittleLadyLeighton?"
"ThisisthedaughterofSirJuliusLeighton,mylady,"answeredMrs.Thorpe,presenting us;"andthisishercousinandfoster-sister.IbroughttheyounggentlewomenfromFrance butafewdayssince,andtheyarestayinghereundermycaretillthesmallpoxshallbe overatHighbeckHall."
"Yes,IheardMrs.Chloewasinawaytohaveheryouthfulbeautyspoiled,"saidCaptain Lovelace.
"Forshame!Youspitefulcreature!"saidthelady,givinghimablowwithherclosedfan. "Mrs.Chloeismyparticularfriend.AndsoareLadyLeighton'sdaughter,aswellasher livingimage,"sheadded,turningtoAmabel,andspeakinginquiteadifferenttone."I knewyourmotherwell,mychild.YouandmyAlicewerebornonthesameday,butshe wasbutafrailcreature,fadinginherearliestbloom."
Againasofterlookcameintohereyes.Ineversawsucheyesashers.Theywereofa sapphire-blue,verybrightandclear,withasortofhardnessandsharpnessinthem,and flashingwithafierceandbalefullusterwhenshewasoffended.Shewasindeedamost curiousmixtureofgoodandevil,asIcametoknowafterward,buttheevilpredominated, beinglettohaveitswayunchecked,andsheperishedmiserablyatlast,poorthing!
"Mrs.Thorpenevermadeamorebeautifulorvaluableimportation,Iamsure,"said CaptainLovelace,bowingtousboth,thoughhehadnotbeenincludedin—indeed,had beenratherpointedlyleftoutof—thepresentation.
LadyThrockmorton'seyesflashedforamoment.
"Yourpresenceinthisroomisnotrequired,CaptainLovelace,"saidsheinastately fashion;then,asthegentlemanretired,withanextravagantgestureofhumilityand despair,"Youmustnotlistentosuchgallants,myloves,"sheadded,inalightertone.
"Idonot,madam,"answeredAmabelquietly.
"Adignifiedyounglady,uponmyword.Andwhoisthis?"Turningtome."Sheremindsme ofsomeone,Icannottellwho."
Mrs.ThorpeexplainedwhoIwas,andherladyshipwaspleasedtosaysheremembered mymotherquitewell.
"ShecamefromCornwallwithLadyLeighton,andtheywerequiteinseparable,I remember,"saidshe."Yourmotherafterwardmarriedagentlemanwhohadasmallestate intheneighborhood,andwaskilledbyafallfromhishorse.Yes,yes;Iremember.My goodThorpe,youmusttakecareofthesevisitorsofyours."
"Ihopetodoso,mylady,"answeredMrs.Thorpe,notwithoutemphasis,asIthought.
"Andhaveyouseenanythingofthetownyet,myrose-buds?"askedthelady,turningto us."Isupposenot.Come,getyourhoods,andIwilltakeyouforanairing.No,onsecond thought,Icannoteither,forIpromisedmyoldladytoreturnintimeforherafternoon drive.Ishallhavemyownhorsesanotherday,andthenIwillcallforyou.Meantime,Mrs. Thorpemustletmepresentyoueachwithoneofthesefineaprons."
Sosaying,sheselectedfromthestockbeforehertwolawnapronswithmorepuffs, ruffles,andlacethantherewasoftheoriginalstuff,andbestowingoneuponeachofus, shesailedouttohercarriage,attendedbyCaptainLovelace,andfollowedbyhermaidand dog.Thiswasourfirstsightofthatfamousbeautyandwit,LadyThrockmortonof Newcastle.Itwouldhavesavedusagooddealhaditbeenthelast.
"Theregoesafinewomanspoiled,"saidMrs.Thorpe."Iwasgladshewasobligedtogo,I didnotliketohaveyougooutwithher,andIdidnotexactlyknowhowtorefuse."
"Butwhydoyoucallherspoiled?"Iasked."Iamsuresheisverygenerousingivingus thesebeautifulaprons."
"'Tisnothardtobegenerouswhensomeoneelsepaysthebills,"answeredMrs.Thorpe. "However,wewillnotjudgethepoorthing.Hernoticewasatleastkindlymeant.Perhaps ifherchildrenhadlivedshewouldhavebeendifferent.But,myyoungladies,thoughIdo notliketodepriveyouofapleasure,IfearImustbanishyouforthofthisparlorduring businesshours.'Tistoopublicaplaceforladiesofquality,andIhavenomindtohaveyou broughtunderthenoticeofCaptainLovelaceandothersofhisstamp,ofwhomwehaveat presentonlytoomanyinthetown.So,mydears,youwillamuseyourselvesaswellasyou caninyourownroom."
Wehadnownochoicebuttowithdraw,andweresoonseatedinourownprettyparlor
"Soitseemswearetobeimprisonedinthisdullroomforthefuture!"saidI,pettishly enough."Onemightaswellbeintheconventagain,asshutupinthispokyplace."
"Youdidnotthinkitpokyatfirst!"saidAmabel."AndIthink,Lucy,Mrs.Thorpeisright aboutoursittingintheshop.IamsureMotherPrudentiawouldsaythesame,ifshewere here."
"MotherPrudentiaisnotourgovernornow,"Ireplied.
"No!ButMrs.Thorpeis,nowthatourrelationshaveputusunderhercare.Imustsay,I don'tcaretoseethatCaptainLovelaceagain;Ithoughthimveryrude,"answeredAmabel withaflashofhereye,suchasIhadhardlyeverseenbefore.
"YoudidnotthinkMr.Cheritonrude,whenhegaveyouthoseflowersoverthewallthis morning!"saidI.
"Thatwasverydifferent!"answeredAmabel."Iamsure,Lucy,youcan'tcompareMr. Cheriton'smannerswiththoseofCaptainLovelace.Mrs.Thorpeherselfwasbyandsawno harm.ButIdon'tthinkitisverynicetobetalkingaboutyoungmeninthisway."
"Onemayaswelltalkofthemasthinkofthem,Isuppose!"Ianswered,ratherflippantly.
Amabelmademenoanswer,butwithdrawingintoacorner,shelaidasideMr.Thomson's poems,and,betookherselftoherbookof"Hours,"whichhadbeenratherneglectedof late.Itookupmywork,andwesatinsilence,tillcalledtodinner.
Afewdaysafterwards,wewerewalkingwithMrs.Crump.Wehadbeentocarryabasket offoodsomepensionerofMrs.Thorpe's,andwerepacingalongrathersoberly,thinkingof thesadscenewehadjustwitnessed,whenweheardournamescalled.
WelookedandsawLadyThrockmorton,leaningoutofhercarriage.Shewasmoredressed thanever,withsplendidjewelsinherears,andonherneck.Ofcoursewestoppedto curtsy,andwerepassingon,whenshebeckonedusagain;thecoachmanatthesametime drawinguptothesideofthestreet.
"SoIhavecaughtyou,mydoves!"saidshe."Imustpositivelytakeyouforanairing,and carryyouhometohavesometeawithme.Nay,Iwilltakenorefusal.Thisgoodwoman willmakeyourexcusestoMrs.Thorpe,ifanyareneeded."
Mrs.Crumpwasaveryquietwoman,whodressedintheplainestway,andrarelysaida needlessword.Shedidnot,however,seematalldashedatthepresenceofthegreatlady, butansweredher,evenwithdignity.
"So,pleaseyoumadam,IthinktheyoungladieshadbetterseeMrs.Thorpethemselves, beforegoinganywhereelse."
"Woman,youforgetyourself!"saidLadyThrockmorton,withthatangryflashoftheeye, thatIhadobservedbefore."Iwouldhaveyourmistressknow,thatLadyThrockmorton's noticeisanhonortoanyyounglady.Comegirls—myblackhairedbeauty,Iamsure,is notafraidoftheoldshopkeeper.Come,Icannotkeepthehorsesstanding."
IthinkAmabelwouldhaverefused,butthatshesawmedeterminedtoacceptLady Throckmorton'sinvitation,andshewouldnotletmegobymyself.Sowegotintothe carriageanddroveaway,leavingMrs.Crumpstandingonthepavement.
"Insolentoldcreature!"saidLadyThrockmorton."Butthere,nevermindher.Tellmeabout yourselves,andyourlife—wherewereyoueducated?"
"InFrance,"wetoldher.
"Ah!Thatishowyoucometocarryyourselvessowell;andwhathaveyoulearned?" IgaveherasgoodanaccountasIcouldofouracquirements.
"Why!Youarerealparagons—Imusthaveyouwithme,whileIamhere—Ipositively must,indeed—nothingtakeslikeanewface,andyourconventualsimplicityistruly charming.ItwillneverdoforyoutobeburiedatHighbeckHall,withthoseoldfrights, eachmoreabsurdthantheother.Imustwritetoyourfather,MissAmabelLeighton."
ThiswasthefirsttimeIeverheardthetitleofMiss,whichwasjustthencominginto fashion.
"Theladiesyouspeakofaremyaunts,madame,"saidAmabel,withsomedignity.
"Thatdoesnothindertheirbeingoldfrights,child.Oh!Youmustnotmindme,IsayI thinkofeveryone.Well,hereweareathome.ImustintroduceyoutomypooroldSir John;heisnotsooldeither,butasadinvalid,poorman."
Wehaddrivenintoapavedcourt,andnowalightedatthedoorofthehandsomest mansionIhadyetseen.
LadyThrockmortonledusthroughagrandhall,upafineoakstaircase,whichreminded meofthegreatstaircaseatSt.Jean,andintoherowndressing-room;whichwasarather smallapartment,socrowdedwithallkindsofnick-nacks,thatitwashardtomovewithout knockingdownachinamandarin,orashepherdess,orupsettingapotpourri.Theairwas heavilyladenwithscents,asthatofMrs.Thorpe'sshop.Thewindowswerehungwithrich draperies,andanothercurtainwasloopedoveradoor,whichopenedintoarichly furnishedbed-chamber.Oneofthemostnoticeablethingsintheroom,wasafinely paintedportraitofagentleman,surroundedbyawreathofwhiteroses,sobeautifully made,thatatfirstIthoughtthemreal,andwonderedwheretheycamefrom.
"Thisismyden,"saidLadyThrockmorton."ItoldSirJohnIpositivelycouldnotstayinthis horribleoldpileofbricksunlesshewouldallowmetofituptwoorthreeroomstosuitmy owntaste.Heisagood-naturedcreature,andso,thoughheworshipshishideousold chairsandtablesasiftheywereveritablehouseholdgods,hegavemeleavetodowhatI likedwiththeserooms,andawithdrawing-roomdownstairs.Whatdoyouthinkofthe generaleffect,eh?"
Sheevidentlyexpectedustobequitedazzledwithallhersplendor,andIindeedwasso, thoughallthetimeIwasconsciousofacertainsomethingwhichpainedtheeye.Amabel answeredthatwehadseensolittleofsuchthings,thatwewerehardlygoodjudges.My ladywasevidentlyalittlenettledbyhercoolness,andbegantodisplayonefinebitof chinaandgildingafteranother,tilltheentranceofherwaiting-womaninterruptedthe lecture.
"Teaisready,mylady,"saidtheAbigail,asitwasthenthefashiontocallthese personages,"andCaptainLovelaceandsomeothergentlemenareinthedrawing-room."
"Dearme,Ihadnonotionitwassolate.Youhavebeensoentertaining,girls,thatyou havelentnewwingstotime."
N.B. Wehadhardlysaidtenwordsbetweenus,butIhaveobservedthatpeopleare usuallybetterentertainedwiththeirownconversationthanthatofanyoneelse.
"See,Wilson,canyoumakethesegirlspresentableatshortnotice?Iwishtotakethem outwithmethisevening."
Mrs.Wilsonlookedcriticallyatus,andbegantosuggestvariousadditionstooursimple toilets.
"No,onsecondthoughts,youmayletthemalone,onlyselectoneofmylaceapronsanda necklaceapieceforthem.Thoseblackvelvetbandswiththepearlssewedonwilldo.No, letthehairalone,'tiswellenoughasitis.Thosegipsyhatsareverybecoming,onlythey shouldbetrimmedwithwhite.Don'twearredribbons,girls,whateveryoudo,butblue maypasswellenough.There,thatwillanswer,Wilson."
Allthistime,Mrs.Wilsonhadbeenpinningontheaprons,tyingonthenecklaces,and otherwisedecoratingus,tillIfeltasifIwasadollbeingdressedforMrs.Thorpe'sshow window.IglancedatAmabel.ShelookedmoreuncomfortablethanIhadoftenseenher Therewasnotmuchtimetonoticelooks,formyladybeckonedustofollowher,andwe didso,passingdownstairsintoasmalldrawing-room,wherewasatablesetoutwitha teaequipageinsilver,andanynumberofoddlittlechinacups.
Thereweretwoorthreegentlemenintheroom,andathinmiddle-agedladyveryplainly dressed,andwithagoodsereneface,whichattractedmeatonce.Inonecorner,witha tabletohimself,satathinelderlyman,evidentlyaninvalid,towhomwewerepresented asSirJohnThrockmorton.Thepoorman'sfacebrightenedasheheardAmabel'sname.
"AndsoyouareSirJuliusLeighton'sdaughter,"saidhekindly."Yourfatherwasanhonest, worthygentleman,andwehavehadmanyaday'ssporttogetherwhenwewereyoung.I supposeheisstillinLondon.Willhebecomingnorthbeforelong?"
"Idonotknow,SirJohn,"answeredAmabel."Wehavenotheardfromhimsincewe landedinEngland."
"Hewillcomenorthattherighttime,Idaresay,"saidLadyThrockmorton."Come,Sir John,Icannothaveyoumonopolizingouryoungladies.Weshallhavecuttingofthroats presently."
Shethengaveusseatsoneachsideofherself,andpresentedthegentlemenastheycame up.IremembernoneofthemexceptCaptainLovelace,whohadtheimpudencetoclaima previousacquaintance,andMr.Cheriton,whocameinjustastheceremonywas concluded.Helookedsurprised,and,asitseemedtome,notverywell-pleased,atfinding usinsuchcompany
Inoticedinamomentthat,whilealltheothergentlemenworewhiterose-budsintheir button-holes,heworearedclovepinkwhichAmabelhadgivenhimthatverymorning.I thinkAmabelsawittoo,forsheblushedandlookedconfused.
LadyThrockmorton'skeeneyesflashedfromonefacetotheotherasifshesuspected something.
"Soyouknowmyyoungvisitorsalready,Mr.Cheriton,"saidshe."Howisthat?"
"Weareneighbors,youknow,"answeredMr.Cheritoneasily,"andastheirparishpriest andspiritualguide,itwasmydutytomakeacquaintancewiththem."
ImustsayIwasnotpleasedwiththetoneinwhichhespoke—asifhissacredprofession wereathingtobejokedabout.
"Andyouventuredtocomehitherwitharedflowerinyourbutton-hole!"continuedthe ladyinthesamebanteringtone,whichyetseemedtohaveameaninginit.
"Redismyfavoritecolor,"answeredMr.Cheriton.
"Ihavehearditwasathriftycolor—nodoubtthatrecommendsit,"saidoneofthe companywithanundisguisedsneer.
"Youarerightmylord,itisathriftycolor,anddoesnotchange,easily,"answeredMr. Cheriton,drylyenough."Ihaveknownmanywhiterosesturnred,butIdon'tknowthatI haveeverseenaredoneturnwhite."
"Letthewhiteonesbecomethefashionablecolorandtheredwillturnfastenough," retortedtheotherangrily.
"Possibly,butthatfashionhasnotyetbeenset."
"Come,come,Iwillhavenosparring,"saidLadyThrockmortonimperatively."Captain Lovelace,doyounotseethatMissBunnellhasherteaallreadytodispense?Whatareyou thinkingof?Givethemplentyofsugar,mygoodBunnell,andsweetentheirtempers."
Onthishintthegentlemenbestirredthemselves,andhandeduslittlecupsofteawith spongecakesandotherthingsofthatkind.Ihadnotyetlearnedtoliketea,whichIhad neverseentillIcametoEngland,andLadyThrockmortonseeingthatIdidnotdrinkmine, badeMr.Cheritonexchangeitforacupofchocolate.Myladyherselfwaiteduponher husband,carryinghimhischocolateandotherrefreshments,andspendingsomeminutes inarrangingthemtohisliking.
"HowdevotedLadyThrockmortonistoherhusband!Isitnotaprettyexhibition?"said CaptainLovelaceinmyear,ashestoodjustbehindme."Sheisalwaysso—atleastwhen thereisanyonetoseeher.Hehasallhispersonalpropertyinhisownpower,andshehas nosettlementstospeakof;butofcoursethathasnothingtodowiththematter."
Iknewnothingofsettlementsorpersonalpropertyatthattime,butIunderstoodthe implieddetraction,andfeltindignantatit.Ihadbeguntofeelveryuncomfortablebythat time,asifIhadofmyownaccordwalkedintoanetoutofwhichIdidnotseemyway. PresentlyLadyThrockmortoncamebacktoherseat,andbeganaskingthenewsofthe day.
"TheysaytheMethodistsarecominghitheragain,"saidCaptainLovelace."Ifso,weshall havesomesport.YououghttohaveseenhowweservedthematLeedswhenIwasthere. Therewasabull-baitinginthetown,andwedrovethebullrightinamongthem,asthey stoodwithopenmouthsandears,aroundtheirprophet.Therewasafinescatteringat first,Ipromiseyou.Butifyouwillbelieveit,whenthebeastgotintothecrowd,hestood stockstillbythesideofMr.Wesleyhimself,asquietashehadbeenatamedog."*
* This incident, or one nearly similar, happened at Pensford, March, 1742
IsawMrs.Bunnellsmileatthis,aswithakindoftriumph,atwhichIwondered,forit seemedtomeameananddastardlyaction.
"Ihavetakenashorterwaythanthat,"saidLordBulmer."Itookupalocalpreacher,and anotherfellowofthatsortwhohadtheimpudencetocomeprayingandexhortingamong mytenants,andsentthemforsoldiersonthespot.ItoldthemIwouldsoonstoptheir prayers,andoneofthem,ifyouwillbelieveme,hadtheimpudencetoanswerme:'You cannotdothat,mylord,unlessyoucanstopthepathtoheaven.'Why,oneofthose rascalshadtheimpudencetotellDr.Borlasehimselfthatheknewhissinswereforgiven."
AgainIsawthesmilepassoverMrs.Bunnell'sface.
"TheseMethodistsseemtometobeaharmlesssortoffolksenough—merevisionary enthusiasts,"saidMr.Cheriton,helpinghimselftoapieceofplumcakeashespoke.
"Theyaretraitors—rascalswhoturntheworldupsidedown—Jesuitsindisguise,ifthetruth wasknown,"saidCaptainLovelace.
"That,ofcourse,wouldbeenoughtocondemntheminyoureyes,"saidMr.Cheriton, carelessly,"youraversiontoJesuits,andthosewhoaregovernedbythem,beingsowellknown."
AgainIsawbytheexpressionofthefacesaroundme,thatthewordshadsomehidden meaning.
"Well,well,weshallknowhowtoservethemiftheycomehere,"saidLordBulmer.
"Theyhavebeenherealready—doyounotknowit?"saidLadyThrockmorton."Imyself heardapartofoneofMr.Wesley'ssermons,andthoughthimveryeloquent.Andmygood friendBunnellhere,wasaltogetherwonoverbyhim,sothatshethinksitasintowearso muchasafeatheroranecklace."
"Isthattrue,Mrs.Bunnell?Nay,Icannothavethat,"saidMr.Cheriton,turningtothelady, whohadsatquietlybehindhermistress."Ilookuponyouasoneofthepillarsofmy church."
"Mr.Wesleywithdrawsnoonefromchurch,"answeredMrs.Bunnell,inherclear,even tones."Onthecontrary,ithasbeenobjectedtohimthathemakestroublefortheclergy andsextonsbybringingsomanytothesacrament."*
* See Charles Wesley's "Journal."
"Icouldbearalittletroubleofthatkind,methinks,"saidtherector;"butsurely,Mrs. Bunnell,youdonotjustifysuchpresumptionasacommonmansayingthatheknowshis sinsareforgiven?"
"TheparalyticwasbutacommonmantowhomOnesaid,'Thysinsbeforgiventhee!'" answeredMrs.Bunnell."Andwhyshouldyoureadtheabsolutioninchurchifnooneisto believehimselfabsolved?"
"Come,come,Bunnell,wewantnoconventicleshere.YouandMr.Cheritonmustsettle yourdisputeselsewherethanatmytea-table."
"Nay,madam,shedidbutanswermyquestion,"saidMr.Cheriton,good-naturedly.
"Thenyouneednothaveaskedsuchaquestion,"returnedtheladysharply."Ihatepeople whoarealwaysdraggingreligioninbytheheadandshoulders,remindingoneof everythingdismalthatonewishestoforget.Commendmetoapreacherlikeyourself,Mr. Cheriton,whogivesusgoodmoraldiscoursesthatdon'tmakeoneuncomfortable.Ihate theMethodists,withtheirrantandpretenceofspirituality,andwhatnot,andIhopeifthe preacherscomehereagain,theywillgetawarmreception.Gentlemen,ifyouhave finishedyourtea,weasktobeexcused,asIproposetotakemyyoungfriendstothe theatrethisevening."
Thegentlementooktheirleaveonthishint,andMrs.Bunnellalsowithdrew.SirJohn's mancameandcarriedhimoff,andwewereleftalonewithmylady.
"Bunnellisagoodcreature,anddevotedtome,"saidherladyship,whenwewereby ourselves,"butIthinkIshallhavetolethergoifshekeepsonwithherhigh-flown notions.ItoldhertheotherdaythatshemightbecontenttoletMr.Cheritonthinkforher insuchmatters;andwhatdoyousupposesheansweredme?Why,thatasMr.Cheriton couldnotbesavedorlostforher,shemustneedsthinkforherself.Butcome,itistimewe
weregoing.See,hereisafanapieceforyou,"pullingoutahandfulfromabox;"takeyour choice."
"But,madam,Ithinkweshouldbegoinghome,"saidAmabel."Itisgrowingdark."
"Nonsense,child!Youaregoingtotheplaywithme,andthenIwillsetyoudownathome, orbringyoubackhere,ifitistoolate.Nay,notaword,"withanimperativegesture,as Amabelwouldhavespoken."Youareinmyhands,andmustdoasyouarebid."
Shelefttheroomforafewmoments,andAmabelturnedtome.
"Whatshallwedo?"saidshe."Oh,howIwishwehadnevercome."
"Itwasallmyfault,"Ianswered:"butIdon'tseehowtohelpitnow;wecannotfindour wayhomealone,throughthisgreattown,especiallyasitisgrowingdark.IfMrs.Thorpe wantedus,shewouldsendforus."
"True!"saidAmabel."Sheknowswhereweare,andcouldsendTimothyforus."
Shehaddoneso,wefoundafterwards,butwewerenottoldofit.
"Wemustdoasmyladybidsus,tillwecangetaway;butLucy!Idonotlikeher,northis place."
"NorI!"Ianswered."IfeelasifwehadgotintothehandsofthefairyMelusene,that MotherPrudentiatoldusof.Ihavenotseenonepersonwhoseemedrealtome,except thatniceMrs.Bunnell—andMr.Cheriton."
Myladyreturnedatthismoment,sowehadnochanceforanyfurtherconversation.We wentwithhertotheplay;Idon'trememberwhatitwas,andindeed,therewassucha buzzofconversation,andthelightsandmusicsobewilderedme,andgavemesucha headache,thatIhadmuchadonottoburstoutcrying.Iwasthankfulenoughwhenthe eveningconcluded.
CaptainLovelacehadbeenintheboxalltheevening,andhadfullpossessionofher ladyship'searandattention.IfancyfromwordsthatIcaught,thattherewassome politicalintelligencegoingamongthem.Isawthatmanyoftheladiesworewhiteribbons, andotherred;whileafewseemedtohavetriedtomakeacompromisebetweenthetwo.
"Whatailsyou,child?"saidmyladysomewhatsharply,astheplaybeingatlastconcluded, shehadtimetonoticeme."Youareaswhiteasaghost."
"Lucyhasabadheadache,madame!"saidAmabel,seeingthatIwastryinginvainto speak.
"Aheadache!Ohthatisnothing—andyetitmightbethebeginningofanillnesstoo!" addedherladyship."WherehadyoubeenwhenImetyouthisafternoon?"
"Tovisitapoorsickwoman,madame."
"Apoorsickwoman—verylikelyshehadsmallpoxorsomething,andhereyouhavebeen sittingwithmeallthistime!"exclaimedherladyship:"WhoknowswhatImayhave caught."
"Thepoorwomanhadnothinginfectious,"Amabelbegan,butLadyThrockmortoncuther short
"There!Don'ttalktomechild—Williams,taketheseyoungladiestoMrs.Thorpe's,and comebackformeasquicklyasyoucan;andmindyouopenalltheglassesofthe carriage.There!Good-night."
IhardlyknowhowWilliamsmadeapassageforusthroughthecrowd,buthedid somehow,andwewerequicklycarriedtoMrs.Thorpe'sdoor,whichindeed,wasnotfaroff. Thegoodwomanwasup,andopenedtousbeforethelackeyhadtimetoknock.She receivedusinabsolutesilence,andledthewaytoourroom,whereshelightedour candles,andturningroundsheaddresseduswithemphasis.
"Youngladies,Iexcuseyouthistime,seeingthatyouwere,sotospeak,takenat unawares;butthisathingthatmustneverhappenagain;youraunts,whohaveknown meformanyyears,haveseenfittoplaceyouundermycare,andtome,youmustbe accountable,asmuchso,astheyoungestapprenticeIhave.Iwouldnothaveayoung maideninmyhouseonanyotherterms—no!NotifsheweretheQueen'sowndaughter. Youknowmyconditionsnow,andIexpectyoutoabidebythem."
Shebadeusashortgood-night,andwasturningaway,whenAmabelmadeboldtoaskher forsomedropsformyhead.Shewasallsympathydirectly,helpedmetoundress,and broughtmeIknewnotwhatofsmelling-saltsandHungarywater
Thekindnesssetmeoffintothefitofhystericalcrying,whichhadbeenimpendingallthe evening.Mrs.Thorpedosedmewithsalvolatile,andsatbymetillIfellasleep,tobe tormentedhalfthenightwithhorribledreams,inwhichIwasalternatelyafly,amouse, andapersecutedMethodist;andLadyThrockmortonaspider,afly,andamadbull,intent onsendingmeforasoldier.
MRS. DEBORAH.
THEnextmorning,Iwakedfeelingwearyandweakenough.Amabelwasalreadyup,andI sawherseatednearthewindowwithherwork.Ilayalittlewhilethinkingoverwhathad happened,feelingbothashamedofmyself,andvexedatMrs.Thorpe.Whatrighthadshe, atradeswoman,tosetuptodictateto,andorderagentleman'sdaughter?Andyet,atthe bottomofmyheart,Ifeltthatshewasright,andIwaswrong.
Imadeamovepresently,andAmabelcametome.
"Isitverylate?"Iasked."Haveyoubeenuplong?"
CHAPTER X.
"Itisnotlate,butIhavebeenupmorethananhour!"answeredAmabel."Ihavebeen thinkingaboutagreatmanythings,Lucy.Whenyouaredressed,Iwilltellyouwhatthey are."
"Well!Nowtellmeyourthoughts!"saidI,asIfinishedmyrosary,(whichIstillsaidevery morning),andsatdownontheothersideofthewindow."Ihopetheyarenotverydeep, orIshallnotunderstandthem,forIfeeldreadfullystupidandheavy.WhatwouldMother Prudentiasaytoourbeingouttilleleveno'clock,andthatataplay?"
"Shewouldsaywewereverywrong,andsowewere,"answeredAmabelwithdecision. "Lucy,wemustneverdosuchathingagain."
"Idon'tthinkitwasanythingtomakesuchanadoabout!"Ianswered."Wecouldnothelp goingwithmyladyatlast."
"Butwecouldhavehelpeditatfirst!"returnedAmabel."WemighthavelistenedtoMrs. Crump,whenshetolduswhatwasright."
"Mrs.Thorpehasnorighttoorderusso!"Isaid,speakingoutwhatIhadbeenthinking. "Shehasaperfectright,seeingthatmyaunthasplacedusunderhercare!"saidAmabel, "Thinktoo,howkindshehasbeentous.Howgoodshewaslastnight;shedidnotwishto turnyououtofherhouse,becauseyouhadaheadache,likethatotherwoman."
Irememberedthis,andbegantofeelashamedofmyself,forthinkingofourkindhostess asIhaddone,andatlastIagreedwithAmabelthatwehaddonewrong,andmustask pardon,asmuchasifithadbeenMotherSuperiorthatwehadoffended.
Myheartbegantofeelalittlelightened,whenarrivedatthispoint,forthetimewhen consciencestingsusworst,iswhilewearerefusingtoallowthatitstingsatall.Weknew thatMrs.Thorpespentalittletimeinhercloseteverymorningbeforeshecameto breakfast,andwedeterminedtoseekherthere.
"ThereisanotherthingIhavebeenconsidering!"saidAmabel,whenthismatterwas finallysettled."Wehavelivedaveryidlelife,lately.Justthink!Wehavebeenherenearly threeweeks,andwhathavewetoshowforit?Notonething."
"Wehavereadagooddeal!"Ianswered.
"Yes!Butnotinawaytodousanygood.Wehavenotdoneanylessons,orworked,either forourselvesorthepoor;wehavenotkepttoanyrule,suchaswehavealwaysbeenused to."
"Iknowit!"Ianswered!"Ihavethoughtofitagoodmanytimes.Butthenyouknow, Amabel,wehaveneverbeenusedtomakingrules,ordecidinganythingforourselves,and somehowonedoesnotknowhowtosetaboutit."
"Butpeoplemustlearntomakerulesforthemselves!"saidAmabel,withthatgentle decisionwhichhasalwayscharacterizedher,whenhermindismadeup."Onlyavery smallpartofthepeopleintheworldcanliveinconvents:otherwiseeverythingwouldbe atastandstill.Andthosewholiveintheworld,mustoftendecideforthemselves,and regulatetheirownconduct,andIdon'tseewhyweshouldnotdoso."
"But,Amabel,wecannotobserveallourownconventruleshere!"Iobjected."Itwould turnthehouseupsidedown,ifweweretoinsistonhavingourmealsatjustsuchtimesas weusedtoatSt.Jean."
"Thosethingsarenotofmuchconsequence!"answeredAmabel."ForaughtIknow,one mayaswelleatatonetimeasanother.Butwecantakecertainhoursforworkingforthe poor,andothersforprofitablereadingandsoon.Thatwoulddisturbnobody;andIam sureweshouldaccomplishagreatdealmore,andfeelbetterourselves.Supposewemake asetofclothesforthatpoorlittlelamegirlwewenttoseeyesterday.Itwillsoonbecold weather,andshewillneedawarmgownandwoolenhose.Didyounotseehowthinher thingswere,andhowcarefullymended?"
Iagreedthatitwouldbeaverygoodplan,andthenwesatafewminutesinsilence.
"Thereisonethingthatpuzzlesme!"saidIpresently."Everyonesays,thatthereligious lifeisthehighest,andyetitisplainthatonlyafewpeopleoutofalltheworldcanenterit; because,asyousay,theworkoftheworldwouldcometoastandstill,ifnobodymarried andbroughtupchildren,andwereshop-keepersandlawyers,andsoon.Butyet,itseems asifeveryoneoughttoserveGodinthebestpossibleway;andifthereligiouslifeisthe bestway,theneveryoneoughttobereligious.Idonotunderstandit."
"Everyonehasnotavocation!"saidAmabel.
"ButifavocationpleasesGodmost,theneveryoneoughttohaveit!"Ipersisted.
"IhaveheardMotherPrudentiasay,thatthereligiouswerelikethecreamthatrisestothe topofthemilk!"saidAmabel."Theskimmedmilkmayhaveitsusestoo."
"Theskimmedmilkmayhaveitsuses,butIdon'tbelieveitisthebestforthechildren!"I returned."Andthatiswhattheyget,poorthings,ifallthebestwomenaretobecome nuns,andleaveonlythesecond-rateonestobecomemothersandbringupthelittle ones."
"Nowyouarereasoning,andusingyourownprivatejudgment!"saidAmabel,alittle severely—"Andyouknowthechurchforbidsthat."
IdidnotanswerbutIthoughtallthemore.HowwasItohelpusingmyprivatejudgment, solongasIwasinaworldfullofthingstobejudged?AndevenifIgaveupineverything tothechurch,wasitnotbecausemyprivatejudgmenttoldmethatwastherightway?It wasaverypuzzlingbusiness,andtheworstwas,thathavingbeguntothink,Icouldnot stop
"There!"saidAmabel,risingastheclockstruckeight."NowwecangotoMrs.Thorpe. Come,Lucy!"
Wefoundthegoodwomaninhercloset;asmallroomopeningfromherparlor,whereshe hadatable,andchair,ashelfortwoofbooks,aclock,andherlargeBibleandprayerbook,bothofwhichlayopen.
"Goodmorning,mydearyoungladies!"saidMrs.Thorpe,asheartilyasifnothinghad happened."Ididnotthinkyouwouldbeawakesoearly,andtoldBetsynottodisturb you."
"Wehavebeenupalongtime,butwedidnotwishtointerruptyou!"answeredAmabel. "Mrs.Thorpewehavecometosay,thatweareverysorryforwhathappenedyesterday, andwewillnevergoanywhereagainwithoutyourpermission."
"AndIamsorryIcriedsolastnight!"Iaddedonmyownaccount.
Cryingwhenreprovedwasagreatoffenceinourconventdays.
"Blessyou,mydear,youcouldnothelpit;itwasonlyafitofthemother—hysterics,folks callitnowadays—frombeingtired,andover-wrought.ButIdon'twanttobearbitrarywith you,mydears.Youarenotchildrenanymore,andthoughIdoholdtoabsoluteobedience onthepartofyoungfolkstotheirelderswhohavethecharge,andmustanswerforthem, yetIwouldhaveitareasonable,andnotablindobedience.Theworld,mydears,isfullof snaresfortheyoung,andespeciallyforyoungmaids—snaresofwhichtheyknowandcan knownothing,neitherwhattheyarenorhowtoguardagainstthem;neithershouldthey wishtoknow,seeingthattheveryknowledgeofeviltendsinsomemeasuretocorruptthe mind.
"'Canamantouchpitch,andnotbedefiled?'asksthegoodbook?Andsoyoungpeople, andparticularlyyoungmaids,whethergentleorsimple,mustbecontentedtodowhat theyarebid,andcomeandgoastheyaretoldbythosetowhomtheLordhasgiventhe orderingofthem.ManyagirlwhoisnowonthestreetsofNewcastleruinedinbodyand soul,andmadeastheoffscouringsofallmen,mightbesafeathome,ifshewouldbut havetrustedin,andbeenguidedbyhermother,whoseheartshehasbroken,bringingher downinshameandsorrowtohergrave."
Mrs.Thorpespokewithsuchfeelingandtenderness,thatitbroughtthetearstobothour eyes.
"There,nowIhavepreachedmylittlesermon,andwewillsaynomoreaboutthismatter!" resumedMrs.Thorpe,inamorecheerfultone."Wewillhaveourbreakfast,andthenI havesomethingelsetosaytoyou."
WeusuallybreakfastedalonewithMrs.Thorpe,wholikedtositchattingoverhercupof tea,havingregulatedherdomesticaffairsatanearlyhour.Wehadnotthenlearnedto drinktea,andMrs.Thorpehadhadapotofchocolatepreparedforus.Wesatsippingit, whilesheopenedhergreatsubject.
"Mydears,doyouthinkyouaremakingthemostofyourtime?"
Welookedateachother,andsmiled.
"No,madam!Wehavebeenverylazysincewecamehither!"answeredAmabel."Lucyand Iweretalkingthatmatteroverthisverymorning,andagreeingthatwemustset ourselvesatwork."
"Why,thatiswell!"saidMrs.Thorpe,evidentlymuchpleased."Idon'tmuchbelievein praisetotheface,whichisopendisgrace,theoldrhymesays.ButImustneedssay,that twomorecandidyoungpeopleInevermetwith."Thenrevertingtohersubject—"Ithink youtoldmeyouhadlearnedmusic."
"Welearnedtosing,andalittleoftheorgan,"Amabelanswered.
"Howwouldyouliketolearntheharpsichord?"askedMrs.Thorpe.
Amabel'seyessparkled.WehadseenoneofthesewonderfulinstrumentsatMrs. Lowther'sschool,whitherwehadgoneonedaywithMrs.Thorpe;andwehadheardone ofheryoungladiesplayalessonofMr.Handel's.
"Because!"continuedMrs.Thorpewithoutwaitingforananswer,orperhapsseeingonein ourfaces."Ihavetakenafineinstrumentfromaladyinthistownwhoowedmemoney, andhadnoothermeansofpayingme;andIwouldratheryouuseditthannot.Idaresay now,youarethinkingitwashard-heartedinme,totakethepoorlady'sharpsichord," addedMrs.Thorpeabruptly,changingthesubject.
"No,madam!Idonotbelieveyouwouldeverdoanythinghard!"Ianswered.
"Iftheladyhadbeenpoor,andhadgoneindebtfornecessaries,Ishouldneverhavedone it!"continuedMrs.Thorpe;"butsuchwasnotthecase.Sheisawidowlady,witha handsomejointureenough,tomaintainherasnicelyasneedbe,inasomewhatquietway, butthatdoesnotsatisfyher.No!Shemustneedsflauntitwiththefinestinthecounty; andshehasrunindebtoneveryside,tillthereishardlyatradesmanwithinamilewho hashernotonhisbooks.Notonethingdoessheeverdenyherselfthatshewants.Poor Gilesontheconfectioner,whohasasicklywifeandsixlittleones,toldmethatsheowed himmorethanfiftypounds.
"Ah!Mydears,wehearmuchabouthard-heartedcreditors,butIhaveseenadealmoreof hard-hearteddebtorsinmytime.ButIhadnomindtowaitonmyfineladyortoloseby hereither;soItoldherImusthaveeithermoneyormoney'sworthbeforenight;soshe turnedmeoverthisharpsichordandsomelaces.NowIknowanexcellentelderly gentlemaninthispartofthetown,whoplaysveryfinely.HeistheorganistinMr. Cheriton'schurch,andisgladtoekeoutalivingforhimselfandhiswife,bygivinglessons inmusic,arithmetic,andotherthings,forheisafinescholartheytellme.Whatwouldyou saytotakingsomelessonsofthisgentleman?Itwouldoccupyyoupleasantly,andyou wouldbeimprovingyourselvesatthesametime.
"Iwasneverfordrivingyoungfolksfrommorningtillnight,butIdon'tliketoseetheir daysrunningtowaste,either.Time,mydearyoungladies,isathingwhichoncelost,can neverreturn.Ifyouloseyourhealth,youmayrecoverit;ifyourmoney,youmayearnor inheritmore;butdayswastedcanneverbefoundagain,eitherintimeoreternity,thatI knowof."
Mrs.Thorpespokeimpressively,aswasherwontwhenonserioussubjects.
"Butnottotalkofthatnow,"sheaddedinherusualbusiness-liketone."Yourhonored father,Mrs.Amabel,bademeusemyownjudgmentwithregardtoyourexpenses,soI amnotafraidtoundertakethismatter.Theharpsichordwillbeherethismorning,andI willsendtoMr.Lilburnetowaituponyouatonce."
"Thereisanotherthingweweretalkingofthismorning,"saidAmabelwhenthismatter wassettled."LucyandIwerealwaysaccustomedtospendsomeofourtimeinworkingfor thepoorwhilewelivedatSt.Jean,andwethoughtifyouapproved,wewouldmakesome warmgarmentsandhoseforthatpoorlamegirlwewenttoseeyesterday.Webothhave mostofthemoneyleftthatyoubroughtusandifyouwouldkindlybuyusthestuffsand theworsted,wemightsetourselvesatworkdirectly."
Sheputherhandinherpocketasshespoke,andwithdrewitwithaverystartledlook. "Mypurseisgone!"saidshe."Andjustlook—mypocketiscutopenfromthetoptothe bottom."
"Itmusthavebeendoneatthetheatrelastnight,"saidMrs.Thorpe,lookingatthepocket whichhadclearlybeenslitfromtoptobottomwithsomesharpinstrument."Wereyou muchmixedupinthecrowd?"
"Yes.Don'tyouremember,Amabel,howweweresqueezedjustoutsidethedoor?Theman couldhardlymakewaythroughthepress.Andmineisgonetoo,"Iadded,pullingoutmy pocketasIspoke,andhavingmuchadonottoburstintotears.Itwastheveryfirst moneyIhadeverowned,anditseemedsuchacrueltytodeprivemeofit,andwhere werepoorAnnie'swarmclothestocomefrom?
"Idaresaythepickpocketsmadeafineharvest,"saidMrs.Thorpe."Itisaveryfavorite schemeoftheirs,andthetheatreisafavoriteplacefortheiroperations.Butthere,don't cry,mydears,perhapsIcanhelpyouabouttheclothes.Youhadbetterlookatyour camletdressesandseewhethertheydonotneedmending,andifsodoitatonce.Camlet ravelssobadly.Iwillmatchthecolorforyouinfinesewing-silk."
AcustomeratthismomentcalledMrs.Thorpeintotheshop
Webetookourselvestoourownroom,andtherewedidhavealittlecrytogetheroverour lostguineas.Buttherewasnouseinwastingtimeinregrets,andtherewereournew gownsofplum-coloredsilkcamlet,eachwithalongslitdownthesidetobemended.
Mrs.Thorpematchedthesilknicely,andaftertherepairswerefinished,wesetto collectingallourworkingmaterials.WehadbegunseveralpiecesatSt.Jean,and purchasedquitealittlestoreofembroiderysilksandlacethread,inToulon.Amabel proposedthatweshouldtakeupthesepiecesandfinishtheminrotation.Westillhadour tablecoveredwiththemwhenMrs.Thorpecameupandbeganadmiringthem.
"I'lltellyouwhat,mydearMrs.AmabelandMrs.Lucy,(Ishallneverlearntousethisnewfangledtitle,andIdon'tknowthatIcaretoeither.Inmyyoungdays,tocallaladyaMiss wastogiveherabouttheworstnameonecoulddevise),butI'lltellyouwhat,young ladies,Iwasgoingtooffertoprovideyouwiththestuffforyourwork,butifyouchooseto finishthesetwocravatswhichIseeyouhavebegun,Icansellthemforyouformoney enoughtoclothethepoorgirlandsendhertoschoolintothebargain,andthenthegift willbeallyourown.Buttheymustbedonesoon,forfashions,youknow,changelikethe moon,onlyonecan'tcalculateontheirchanges."
Herewasanunexpectedwayoutofourtrouble.Iconfessthethoughtdidcrossmymind thatitwassomewhatbeneaththedignityofyoungladiesofqualitytoworkformoney,and IsaidasmuchtoAmabelwhenMrs.Thorpehadlefttheroomtosuperintendthemoving oftheharpsichord.
"Butweareworkingforthepoorinmakingthelaceasmuchasifwewereknittinghoseor makingshifts,"repliedAmabel."Themothersandsistersusedtoworkformoney,and theywereofnoblefamily."
"Buttheywerereligious,andvowedtohumilityandpoverty,"Iobjected."Doesnotthat makeadifference?"
"ThemoreIthinkaboutit,themoreitseemstome,thatnoonepersonisboundtobe religiousmorethananother,"saidAmabel."Youknowweshouldbothhavebecomenunsif wehadhadourway,andwhyarewetobelessdevotedbecausewelivehereinsteadofat St.Jean?"
Ourconversationwasinterruptedbytheentranceofthemanwiththeharpsichord,a handsomenewinstrument,whichtheyplacedinourparlor.Mrs.Thorpefollowedwithher armsfullofmusic-books,andbringingwithheratallwhite-hairedoldgentleman,whom sheintroducedasMr.Lilburne.Itookagreatlikingtohimatonce.Heexaminedthe harpsichord,pronounceditafineoneandinperfecttune,and,atMrs.Thorpe'srequest, playedsomeairs,whichhesaidwerefromMr.Handel'soratoriooftheMessiah.Finding thatwecouldreadmusicandhadsomeknowledgeofthetheory,hegaveusalesson, promisingtocallthenextdaybutoneandhearusplayit.
Thiswasdestinedtobeadayofsurprises.Amabelwascarefullyplayingoverherlesson, andIwasbusilyworkingatmylacepiece,whenweheardsomeonecomingupstairs,and
Mrs.Thorpeherselfthrowingopenthedoorannounced,withsometrepidation—
"Mrs.DeborahLeighton—youraunt,Mrs.DeborahLeighton,Mrs.Amabel."
Webothrosetoourfeetwithastartandcurtsiedtothetallladyinaridinghabitwho stoodinthedoor.
Mrs.DeborahwastheoldestoftheladiesatHighbeckHall,andwasatthattimeturnedof fifty.Sheworeherowngrayhairwithoutpowder,turnedupunderaman'sbeaverwitha handsomefeatherandgoldclasp.Ihadneverseenaridinghabitnearathandatthat time,andthecoatandwaistcoat,almostexactlylikeaman's,withthedeep-lacedpockets andcravat,struckmewithsurprise.Mrs.Deborahworelargegoldear-rings,andtheseals ofawatchdangledbelowherwaistcoat.Inherhandshecarriedaridingwhipwithasilver handle.
"There,don'tcometoonearme,girls!Idon'tsupposethereisanyinfectionaboutme,but itisbesttobesafe,"shesaid,speakinginastrongdeepvoice,whichyethadacertain musicinit."Ineednotaskwhichiswhich.This,Iamsure,isAmabel,fromherlooks,and thisCornishgirlisLucyCorbet.Youareyourfather'sgirl,child,asAmabelisher mother's,"lookingatmewithacuriouscontractionofhermouth,asofoneinmomentary pain."Yourfatherwasagoodlyandgallantman,child.Iknewhimwell.Andyourmother wasoneofwhomtheworldwasnotworthy.There,beagoodgirlandyoushallneverwant afriendwhileIlive.AndyouareAmabel,eh!"turningtoher."Youareabeautylikeyour mother,butbeautyisafadingflower youknowthat,don'tyou?"
"Yes,madam,"answeredAmabel.
"Well,andhowdoyoufindyourselves?Iwillsitwithyoualittle,seeingIamhere,andmy goodfriend,Mrs.Thorpe,willsendmeaglassofale."
Mrs.Thorpewithdrewonthishint,andMrs.Deborahseatedherselfnearthedoorand continuedhercatechism.
"There,there,sitdown—"For,ofcourse,wehadremainedstanding."Andhowdoyoufind yourselves?Areyoucomfortablehere?"
"Yes,madam,weareveryhappyhere,"Amabelanswered.
"Butwhatdoyoudowithyourselves?Doyougoout?Youmustnotdawdleawayyour lives,youknow.WhenwehaveyouatHighbeck,wewillteachyoutoride;butthatwill notbeverysoon,Ifear."
WetoldherhowMrs.ThorpehadarrangedforourlessonsfromMr.Lilburne.
"Amostrespectableperson.Iknowhimwell,butmethinksyoushouldhaveagoverness, orsomethingofthatsort.Haveyounotevenamaid?"
"No,madam,wehavealwaysbeenusedtowaituponourselves,"answeredAmabel.
"Perhapsthatisagoodthing;however,Iwillseeaboutit.Now,girls,I we,Ishouldsay hopedtohaveyouathomebeforethistime,butpoorChloehashadthesmallpoxaswell astwoofthemaids,andBurdon,ourbutler aprettythingtobesuretobetaking smallpoxathistimeoflife.PoorSisterChloeisnotgettingupwell.Shehasacoughand painsinherchest,andthedoctorsayssheshouldhaveachange.Sowearegoingtotake hertoCullercoatsfortheseaairandtodrinkthewaters,andleavethehousetobe thoroughlyairedandcleaned.WemaybegonetillnearChristmas,andwhattodowith
youinthemeantime?Youareratheroldforschoolexceptasparlorboarders,andIdonot likethatwayofliving.Whatdoyousay,niece?Youlooklikeasensible,steadyyoung woman—tellmewhatyouthinkofthematter."
"Whyshouldwenotremainasweare,madam—" "Don'tsaymadam,sayAuntDeborah,"interruptedthelady.
"Whyshouldwenotstayasweare,AuntDeborah?Mrs.Thorpeisverykindandlooks afteruswell,andshehasputusinthewayofimprovingourselves,asyousee.Why shouldwenotstayhere?"
"Ihavenoobjection,Iamsure,soyouareproperlylookedafter,asyousay,"repliedMrs. Deborah."Butyoumustnotrunaboutalone,orwithanyonebutsuchasMrs.Thorpe recommends.Iwilltalktoheraboutthismatterofagovernessorcompanion.Sheisa goodwomanandwellbroughtup,andasafeadviserforyou.Butwhatisthis,andwhom havewehere?"
Thenew-comerwhomBetsybroughtupstairswasnolessapersonthanMrs.Wilson,Lady Throckmorton'smaid.Shecamewithinquiriesfromhermistressastoourhealth,andan announcementthatherladyshipwouldcallattwoo'clockinhercarriagetocarryus abroadforanairing.ThewomanhadtakennonoticeofMrs.Deborah,whosatlistening. Herblackeye-browsgatheredclosertogethertilltheymetabovehernose.Icame afterwardtowatchthedrawingtogetherofthoseeye-browsasonewatchesathundercloud.WhenMrs.Wilsonhaddone,Mrs.Deborahanswereddeliberately,asthough weighingeveryword.
"ThenyoumaytellmyLadyThrockmortonfromme,Mrs.DeborahLeighton,theauntof theseyoungladiesandtheirguardian,thatneithernownoratanyothertimewilltheygo abroadwithher.Iabsolutelyforbidtheirhavinganythingtodowithher.Doyouhearme, woman?"
ItwasevidentfromMrs.Wilson'sfacethatshedidbothhearandunderstand,butshetook nonoticeofMrs.Deborah,excepttoturnherbackuponherwhilesherepeatedher messagetous.
"Youhaveyouranswer,"saidAmabelwithdignity."Doyounothear?Weareobligedto LadyThrockmortonforhergoodness,butmyaunthasforbiddenustogooutwithher." "Now,oratanytime!"addedMrs.Deborah.
"Pleasetoreturnthesethingstoyourmistress!"saidAmabel,puttingintoWilson'shanda parcelcontainingthefineryshehadlentus,andwhichwehadpackeduptosendby Timothy
Mrs.DeborahWatchedherdownthestairs,asadogwatchestheretreatofsomeintruder, whomhehashalfamindtoflyatandrend.Shethenshutthedoor,andreturnedtoher seat.
"Whatdoesthismean?"sheasked."Haveyousetupgaddingalready?Howcameyouto knowthisfinelady?"
Amabeltoldherthestoryofouradventures,andherknittedbrowsgraduallyrelaxed, especiallywhenItooktheblameonmyself,sayingthatIthoughtAmabelwouldnothave gonebutforme.
"Well,well!Youarebutyoung,andasnewtotheworldascallowgoslings!"saidshe.
"LadyThrockmortonwasyourmother'sfriendonce,Amabel,andforhersake,Iamsorry now,thatIsenthersorudeamessage.Butshewasverydifferentinthosedays.Shehas beentalkedabout—compromised,thoughIsaynot,thatshewasaughtbutimprudent. Shelivesfortheworld,andcallsaboutherallthegaydissipatedyoungsparksinthe country,suchasIwouldnothaveyoumeet.Sheplayshightoo,andhas,Ihear,losta greatdealofmoney.There,wewillsaynomore,onlymind,Iwillhavenomorevisitingor goingoutwithher.Well!Andwherehaveyoubeentochurch?Nextdoor,Isuppose.Mr. Cheriton'sfatherlivesinourparts,andthoughpoor,isagentlemanofgoodfamily.Heis likeenoughtobecomeheirtoLordCarewinDevonshire,Ihear.Howdoyouliketheson? Heiscalledagoodpreacher."
Amabelrepliedthatwehadnotheardhimpreach,thoughwehadmadehisacquaintance, andexplainedthatbeingCatholics,wehadnotbeentochurch,theonlychapelin Newcastlebeingclosedatpresent.
"Catholics,eh!Ineverthoughtofthat,"saidMrs.Deborah,lookingratherannoyed."Ithas alwaysbeentheruleinourfamilythatthegirlsshouldfollowtheirmother'sreligion;but mynephew,itseems,hasfoundmeanstoevadeit.Idon'tknowwhatmysisterswillsay Butnevermind,now,yourconsciencesshan'tbeinterferedwith,ifIcanhelpit.Well,then wewillconsidermatterssettled,andthatyouaretostayhere.IwilltalktoMrs.Thorpe aboutapropercompanionforyou.Meantime,hereisatokenforeachofyou!"andshe laiddowntwoguineasuponthetable."Oh,bytheway,niece,haveyouheardfromyour father?"
"No,aunt!"answeredAmabel."Ihadhopedforaletter,orperhapsasightofhimbefore long."
"Idonotbelievehewillcomenorthatpresent andperhapsitisjustaswellonthewhole, thatheshouldnot!"answeredMrs.Deborah."Hiswifehasgreatinfluencewithhim,and fromallIhear,sheisnotlikelytolethimburnhisfingers;notthatIbelievethesetalesof thePrince'slanding.Well,there!Good-bye.Begoodgirls,andGodblessyou."
Welookedateachother,asthedoorclosedonMrs.Deborah.
"Well,howdoyoulikeher?"saidI.
"Verymuch!"answeredAmabel,withdecision,asusual."Ithinksheisratherrough,butI amsuresheisgood.Howverykindlyshespoketoyou.Doyounotlikeher?"
"Yes!Verymuch,"Ianswered.
Andindeed,Mrs.Deborah'swayofputtingmeonanequalitywithAmabel,hadextracted frommymindarootofbitternesswhichhadvegetatedthereforalongtime.Eversince ourlasttalkwithMotherSuperioraboutreturningtoEngland,Ihadfullymadeupmy mindnevertoleaveAmabel,whateverhappened.ButIhadshedsomeproudtearsin secret,atthethoughtofbeingdegradedfromanequalandcompanion,toamerewaitingwoman.Thattrialwasnottocomeuponme,atleastforthepresent.
Thatsameafternoon,amessengercamefromLadyThrockmorton,bringingbackthe apronsthatwehadwornatthetheatre,withthefollowingnote.
"Girls:
"Youmaytellyouraunt,thatImighteasilyenoughrepaythe affrontshehasseenfittoputuponme,butIscornsuchpaltryrevenge. Astoyou,Imeanttodoyouakindnesswhichyoumighthavetakenfor such;butofcourse,suchchitsasyouhavetodoasyouarebid.Iam notinthehabitoftakingbackmygifts,forsuchImeant'em.Youcan eitherkeepthethings,orput'eminthefire.
"CLARISSATHROCKMORTON."
"Whatshallwedowiththethings?"saidI,takingupthepacket,whichAmabelhadlaidon thetable.
"Wecandonothingbutkeepthem,underthecircumstances!"answeredAmabel.
"IamsureIdon'twanttohavethem,"saidI.
"NorI.Perhapswecanfindawayofbestowingthemincharitysometime;meantimelet usputthemaway.Iamgladmyauntlaidhercommandsonussoplainly,itsavesusa greatdealoftrouble."
"WhatshallwedoifLadyThrockmortonwritestoyourfather,asshesaidshemeantto do?"Iasked,rememberingallatonce,allherladyshiphadsaidonthatmatter. "Weshallseewhenthetimecomes."
"Butyoumustallow,Amabel,itwaskindinhertoaskus!"saidI."Shecouldhavehadno motiveinit,buttogiveuspleasure,thatIsee."
"Iamnotsosure!"answeredAmabel."Idon'tliketolookoutformeanmotives.Atthe sametime,Ican'thelprememberingawordsheletdrop—'Imustpositivelyhaveyouwith me.Nothingdrawslikeanewface.'Don'tyourecollect?"
Ididrecollect,andmyeverreadypridebroughtthebloodtomycheeks,asIthoughtof beingusedasadecoytocapturethekindofgamewhichLadyThrockmortonaffected. "Well,Iknowonething,Iwishwehadneverseenher!"saidI.
"Wenevershouldhaveseenherprobably,ifwehadobeyedMrs.Thorpe'shints,and stayedupstairs,"answeredAmabel."Butcome,nevermindher.Hearmeplayovermy lesson."
Amabeltooktotheharpsichordatonce.IcannotsayIeverlikedit.Iwasfondofsinging andofthelute,andIbelieveImightwithproperinstructionhavebecomesomethingofa proficientuponthelatter.ButIlikedbestofalltodofineneedlework,forwhichIalways drewmyownpatterns,mostlyfromnature.
Thatveryafternoon,takingalongerwalkthanusual,wefoundourselvesoutsidethe walls,wherewasquitealittlecoppiceofwoodandbrambles.Here,Idiscoveredsomefern leavesofakindquitenewtome,andverygraceful.Suchthingsalwaysgavemeadegree ofexquisitedelight,suchasIcouldneverfindwordstoexpress;andwhichIbelieve Amabelthoughtratherchildish.Icarriedhomeahandfuloftheleavesandarrangedthem intoapattern.
Mrs.Thorpehadinhershopsomebeautifullyfineandsheerlinen,whichshesaidcame fromChina.IboughtasquareofthislinenwithapartoftheguineaMrs.Deborahhad givenme,andbeganahandkerchief,whichsointerestedme,thatIfoundmyselfin
