ENG_Bullying: What to Do and What to Avoid – Secondary school

LOWER SECONDARY SCHOOL BULLYING

WHAT TO DO

(and what to avoid)

QUICK guide for teachers

ANTONELLA AMMIRATI

Neuropsychologist and psychotherapist with a psychodynamic focus, she freelances between her clinical practice and school. She has a ten-year collaboration with ODFlab - Department of Psychology and Cognitive Sciences of the University of Trento, where she specializes in diagnosis and intervention of developmental and adult disorders and has collaborated with institutes, the University of Trento and various local bodies to promote inclusive contexts through training. With the «Il Ponte» Social Cooperative, however, she dealt with school psychology, managing the Listening Space of various institutes in Vallagarina, coordinating study support projects promoted by municipal initiatives or by the European Social Fund as well as supervising the team of Mystart service – in the difficulty and SLD area. She is currently a consultant for Edizioni Centro Studi Erickson for the psychology and health professions area, author of the publication My first year as... school psychologist and the editor of the SLD text after the ISS 2022 Guideline.

Note: for greater reading fluency, the text mostly refers to the male gender. However, the behavioural situations and strategies proposed are applicable to males and females, without distinction.

Dear teachers,

For several years I have been working with schools (as a trainer and as a specialist appointed by the family) and for schools (as a school psychologist). This has allowed me to get to know “your world” by going beyond the dimensions universally recognized from the outside: the educational one, for the mandate of transmitting knowledge and skills, and the educative one, as a filtered social context that deals with transmitting values, training character and providing a context for socialization and coping strategies. We work better, at school and with it, if we take into account the fact that it is a public administration with its own structure and operating logic. And it is only by entering that one grasps the fact that, as a relatively small and closed community, the School is also based on specific (non-formal) dynamics, made up of shared values and sanctioned behaviours, where it is that specific group that defines whether you are in or out and determines your role. My role should be to accompany the growth of individuals (students, parents, teachers, janitor staff) by providing useful tools for self-regulation and psychological self-management, in short “a baggage for life”. To study, work and live well you cannot have a tired mind.

It is a fact that the educational institution has been hit by years of careless policies which have led to a growing bureaucratization of the teaching role and which, together with the lack of social and economic recognition, the loss of trust on the part of families, and the emergence of new challenges for teaching have created dissatisfaction, passivity and constant criticism in many,

which constitute oppositional forces to the transformative power of the school system. Despite this, teachers are resilient, they enter school every day, and take up the challenge of managing its capital - the presence of multiple individualities, each special in its own way, which must be orchestrated to the notes of an inclusive melody.

This guide was born as an agile, supportive manual for teachers who have not lost the ability to observe, to ask questions, to suspect discomfort in the discontinuities of behaviour, in the folds of everyday school life, in the silence of downcast glances, in the actions of arrogance mixed with rudeness of some students. It is for those who want to take charge of the rampant relational poverty of our bonds before it becomes pathologically characterized as violence towards each other; for those who care about the health of the School as an environment for relationships and who want to do their part to create a safe place for discussion and growth, for the children, and also for themselves.

INTRODUCTION

This book is the first text in the series that addresses a pathology of bonds (part of the interpersonal dimension) rather than a constellation of characteristics that take the form of neurodevelopmental differences (intraindividual dimensions). The substance of the bullying phenomenon is, in fact, its group nature.

Some research (the first was that of Pepler and Craig, 1995) has found that the presence of the group would increase the possibility that the bully will bully the victim for longer; in the absence of spectators, however, it seems less likely that the attack will take place. Bullying does not identify a static situation of one or more aggressors against a victim, but is characterized as a dynamic and multidimensional phenomenon, subject to continuous modifications, in which persecutors, victims and spectators are mutually involved.

What is bullying and what is not

The end of the century writer Edmondo De Amicis describes the bully Franti in his book Cuore (1886):

«It’s evil. When a father comes to school to scold their son, he enjoys it; when someone cries, he laughs... He provokes all those weaker than him, and when he gets into fights, he gets furious and wants to hurt. There is something disgusting about that low forehead, in those cloudy eyes that he keeps almost hidden under the visor of his oilskin cap. He fears nothing, he laughs in the teacher’s face, he laughs when he can, he denies with a glazed face, he is always

arguing with someone, he brings pins to school to tease his classmates, he tears the buttons off his jacket, and he tears off others childrens’ buttons, and he plays with them, and his school bag, notebooks, and books are all crumpled, torn, dirty, the ruler is notched, the pen is bitten, his nails are pink, his clothes are full of stains and tears that he gets when in fights».

The phenomenon of bullying, even if in other ways, has always been a salient feature of the social life of young people, so much so that the novel cited above bears witness to this.

«Why is there so much insistence on talking about bullying? These things have always been there, we all grew up anyway and it’s the way to learn to make do in life».

This opinion is, in reality, quite widespread. In order to avoid considering bullying acts as mere jokes, or transforming every aggressive act into bullying, it is better to clear the field and clarify what is bullying and what is not. The term bullying (to tyrannize, lord over, intimidate) indicates an abuse of power (physical, verbal or psychological) carried out in a repeated and organized way against someone who is unable to defend themselves. The word was in turn created on the model of the term mobbing (to mob: to attack en masse). In ethology, it has often been used to indicate the aggressive behaviour of the pack towards an isolated animal, a coalition of some animals of the same species towards a member of the group, who is attacked and isolated from the community.

Dan Olweus (1993), one of the major scholars of this phenomenon, clarifies three of its characteristics:

intentionality: the damage caused by those who abuse is intentional and not random;

persistence: the aggressive actions are not isolated but recurrent episodes of systematic offensive actions;

asymmetry: the interaction is characterized by the greater physical strength, greater material and/or social resources or psychological safety of the bully and by the corresponding inability of the victim to have poor self esteem and be unable to defend himself.

An act of bullying is the result of cognitive planning, sometimes complex, which distinguishes it from all those forms of extemporaneous aggression due to altered and uncontrolled emotional states. Planning places and times is useful both to avoid being discovered and to guarantee the duration of the attacks over time. The act of bullying is chosen on the principle of maximizing the damage for the victim (if the victim is a male, acts of physical violence on the part of the aggressor are preferred, if the victim is a female it results in derision and psychological humiliation), in such a way that it becomes difficult for those who suffer from it to escape from the situation. In the case of bullying, the aggressive act hardens into aggressive conduct, that is to say, into a behavioural style of interaction with the environment of a prevaricating, stable, identity-based type, since one is recognized by the group only for this characteristic. This rigidity leads the boy to identify with the role played, therefore both the bully and the victim increasingly emit behaviours consistent with their identity construction. The victim is isolated through a dehumanization mechanism, that is, characteristics of presumed diversity are emphasized, increasing the psychological distance between him and his companions and inducing emotions of fear or anger, embarrassment and shame or even feelings of guilt due to not feeling capable of defending himself as well as feeling responsible for the aggression suffered. Often the bully actively involves his classmates to distance them from the victim, making them passive in the face of aggressive actions, or by presenting the prevaricating actions as simple jokes in which to involve his peers.

Guiding questions to analyze a critical situation:

Are the kids who play the roles of aggressor and victim always the same?

What form do the acts of bullying take? (read the types of bullying in the next paragraph)

Do the episodes repeat frequently and tend to increase?

Are the acts simple or organized? Where and when do they take place?

Are there accomplices, spectators or helpers of the victim present?

What social network do the attacker and victim have? What relationship is there between them?

Does the victim appear isolated, ashamed or show guilt for what they suffer?

What role do the other members of the class have?

Bullying is not a situation of normal conflict between peers, in which the protagonists do not insist beyond a certain limit to impose their will, explain why they disagree, apologize or seek “equal” solutions, or are capable of changing topic, letting it go and walking away.

Repeated but unintentional aggression without asymmetry of power between the figures involved is not bullying but peer victimization.

All those behaviours that produce serious and/or severe and/ or long-lasting physical and psychological damage to the victim or the community (e.g. fights and beatings between students, destruction of school furniture, sexual harassment, attempted rape, serious theft) are not bullying but they are antisocial and criminal behaviour. Criminal conduct also includes those behaviours that could have caused serious damage if the victim had not been saved by chance, such as: throwing chairs/benches, compasses or sharp objects, or attempting to knock over the automatic vending machine on someone.

It is also important to draw a line between bullying and those outbursts of aggression related to neurodevelopmental patho-

logies. The nosographic systems used by clinicians, such as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5, American Psychiatric Association, A.P.A., 2014) and the International Classification of Diseases, Accidents and Causes of Death and Related Problems – ICD-11 ( World Health Organization, WHO, 2022), identify disorders in which aggressive behaviour is the backbone.

DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOUR DISORDERS

OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER BEHAVIOUR DISORDERS

With early onset (kindergarten), it is characterized by a recurrent pattern of hostile and provocative behaviour, with episodes of open defiance towards authority figures. Anger, opposition and provocation appear persistent, often without context, and inappropriate with respect to the age of development of the child. These aspects of behaviour manifest themselves in interaction with individuals other than siblings, must persist for at least 6 months (as it is not a passing phase) and must lead to a significant impairment of the child’s functioning in the social, family and school contexts.

It manifests itself with aggressive behaviour towards people or animals, cruelty, destruction or damage to other people’s property, petty theft or cheating, violation of rules, and forceful sexual activity. It can be associated with poor empathy and a lack of remorse. The onset can be early in childhood or late in adolescence. The deviant conduct must be a stable pattern of relationship with the environment (for at least 12 months) and must lead to a significant impairment of adaptive functioning..

Within Personality Disorders (which arise in adulthood) we identify Antisocial Personality Disorder, characterized by irresponsibility, dishonesty, aggressive conduct, manipulative relationships with others and the absence of remorse or guilt.

The category of mood disorders describes disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (a rather early condition evident in primary school) which manifests itself with a mood permanently characterized by nervousness, irritability and anger with sudden outbursts of rage that are unmotivated with respect to the context.

Then there are other clinical pictures occasionally characterized by aggression as in the case of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), in which frustration can trigger extemporaneous or impulsive aggressive behaviour, or in intellectual disabilities or in Autism Spectrum Disorders, in such as aggression is often self-directed.

Types of bullying

Bullying occurs in various forms whose separation is clear only for narrative purposes, but in reality there are frequent overlaps.

Among the direct forms it is possible to distinguish:

PHYSICAL BULLYING

–

Aggressions (pushes, slaps, punches or kicks) also through the use of objects (for example sticks, glass, desk or chair). Damage, of varying severity, to the property of others (tearing the pages of a notebook, breaking pens, hiding, stealing or breaking glasses) and vandalism.

Theft and extortion while directly confronting the victim.

This form prevails in males, is perpetrated against both males and females, appears in low age groups (primary school), but it is also the most obvious and easily identifiable form.

VERBAL BULLYING

Offenses, derision, insults, humiliation of the victim on the basis of his presumed difference from the group due to personal characteristics (physique, clothing, tastes) or to the environment and culture to which he belongs. Threats.

Spreading slander about the victim, in his absence, in order to isolate him from the group.

This form appears later and is taken by both males and females. It is less obvious but very dangerous, because it tends to create a hostile school environment for the victim in order to isolate him and profoundly affect his self-esteem.

However, RELATIONAL bullying is an indirect form of bullying, which undermines the victim in the construction of his identity, specifically in relation to social belonging. It has often been associated with the female gender but, in reality, it has a similar incidence between the two sexes, and appears among pre-adolescents and adolescents. Typical acts are ostracism, i.e. constantly excluding the victim (during play, in group work, when making teams, during the break), so he will retreat into an increasingly restricted social space, with consequent lowering of self-esteem and greater exposure to physical and verbal bullying and the manipulation of the friendship relationships enjoyed by the victim in order to make him lose emotional and social support from the group. This form is the most difficult to identify, but also the one that can have the most serious consequences on the victim›s identity, even pushing him to commit suicide.

Research and numbers

The first research interest in bullying in Italy dates back to the early 1980s. In that period, Caprara translated Dan Olweus’s first book with the title Aggression in the School (Caprara, 1983), focusing attention on the characteristics of the problem in this educational context.

In the first half of the nineties, the University of Florence (Department of Psychology) conducted the first research on the phenomenon in Italy and began to trace its characteristics.

In the text Bullying in Italy, by Ada Fonzi (1997), we find the first data on the national incidence of the phenomenon. Around 7,000 elementary and middle school students were interviewed in seven Italian regions and it emerged that: the bullying they suffered was reported by 38% of the children interviewed in elementary schools and by 22% in middle schools. The incidence of the behaviours acted out was 27% in elementary school and approximately 20% in middle school.

Bullying is the best-known form of youth violence, identified in the Report for the UN Secretary General (2016) Ending the torment: tackling bullying from the schoolyard to cyberspace as an emergency and a priority on which to act. From the U-Report online survey, carried out by Unicef (2016), for 90% of participants (more than 100,000 young people, aged 13 to 30) bullying represents a problem in their life context, two-thirds declared that they having experienced it personally at least once, with one-third considering it normal to fall victim to it.

According to data from the latest Monitoring of bullying and cyberbullying phenomena in Italian schools (2021) by the Ministry of Education, in collaboration with the University of Florence, episodes of peer bullying are a phenomenon that still affect a considerable number of students. The survey involved 314,500 students attending 765 state secondary schools and 46,250 teachers belonging to 1,849 state schools.

Monitoring shows that 22.3% of secondary school students have been victims of bullying by peers (19.4% occasionally and 2.9% systematically); 18.2% actively took part in bullying episodes towards a male or female partner (16.6% occasionally and 1.6% systematically); 8.4% have suffered episodes of cyberbullying (7.4% occasionally and 1% systematically); 7% actively took part in cyberbullying episodes (6.1% occasionally and 0.9% systematically).

Added to this evidence are the data from the February 2021 survey of the Di.Te National Association, conducted in collaboration with the Skuola.net portal and with VRAI (Vision, Robotics and Artificial Intelligence - Department of Computer Engineering of the Polytechnic University of Marche). On a sample of 3,115 students aged between 11 and 19, it emerged that Distance Learning has also sometimes given rise to episodes of cyberbullying: 1 in 8 has suffered episodes of cyberbullying during distance learning by other peers; 1 in 5 interviewees say they have “remotely” witnessed episodes that targeted other classmates. 6% of cyberbullying cases detected occur on platforms used for Distance Learning.

Discriminatory bullying

When, at the basis of the abuse, there is the concept of “diversity”, we speak of “discriminatory” or “prejudicial” bullying which identifies all those intentional bullying behaviours, reiterated over time and based on an imbalance of power, which aim to discriminate against those who possess a characteristic that places them at a disadvantage, or that makes them belong to a minority group (Elamé, 2013; Russell, Sinclair, Poteat and Koenig , 2012). The following are identified in the literature as characteristics that could give rise to discriminatory bullying:

disability (physical and/or mental);

ethnicity, i.e. when bullying occurs against a person due to their immigration status and/or their ethnic origins;

homophobia, when the abuses target young homosexuals or young people with attitudes/behaviours not in line with gender expectations, young bisexuals and transsexuals. Friends, relatives or those who support them are often also targeted; by age, when belonging to a specific age group (for example the elderly) exposes one to abuse; by gender, when belonging to a gender group (particularly the female one) increases the risk of being bullied; for religion, when you are targeted for your religious beliefs..

Cyberbullying

The aggressive, intentional, systematic action against a victim who is unable to defend himself and is perpetrated through IT tools (smartphones, PCs, e-mail, SMS/MMS, calls) and\or virtual environments (social networks, blogs, web) is defined as cyberbullying. The term was coined by the Canadian educator Bill Besley in 2002. It is clear that its main difference with bullying is the lack of the physical component between victim and attacker, therefore based on real knowledge and frequenting the same environments. The cyberbully, on the other hand, can also be a person who does not actually know his victim, but only their respective username and profile picture

“No, wait a minute. There’s worse. You’re right, the worst continues even at home. They don’t stop tormenting you for a moment and you think: “I don’t even know who this person is, how can he say he despises my existence?” [from the film Cyberbully, Caleb, 2011]

It is important to clarify that the characteristic of systematicity, common to bullying, does not, however, have the same value. If arrogance is exercised through an IT medium, even a single act (for example, posting a video or sharing a photo) can be repeated infinite times with a negative impact, as it is almost impossible to prevent its spread, certainly not in a short time. Even the asymme-

try of power between bully and victim in cyberbullying is expressed in a peculiar way as it is no longer played on a physical level or on the victim’s role in the group, but on his lower technological dexterity. The network also guarantees anonymity, therefore the victim often does not know the author of the offensive acts towards him: this guarantees that the bully can act undisturbed and unpunished (only the police can identify the traces of the devices used based on their codes). The cyberbully’s disinhibition is also accentuated by the computer medium, since you can virtually do what you don’t have the courage to do in real life.

The internet also takes away the victim’s spaces in which to feel safe: the intentionality and aggression of the cyberbully go hand in hand so he manages to reach his victim always and everywhere. The places of abusive actions are no longer more or less visible places than the school or the sport’s field or the public gardens: the material used by cyberbullies is visible all over the world.

In virtual reality, the immediate feedback of the oppressor’s actions on the victim is lost and the empathic understanding of suffering is hindered. Many acts of cyberbullying are perpetrated by accomplices and “unknowing” spectators, who post or share material endlessly and which may be momentary and unknown to the victim. Depersonalization on the part of the cyberbully, his accomplices and spectators, is amplified and can be extended to avatars.

Furthermore, cyberbullying quickly and easily spreads between environmental contexts (real and virtual and from the internet to reality) and this leads the victim to increasingly limit his social life. For all these aspects the victim can reach a condition of helplessness and desperation which can lead to suicidal attempts or acts.

These differences have meant that the same interpretation schemes used for bullying cannot be used for cyberbullying: the phenomena are different although the children experience

the two conditions simultaneously. In virtual space, roles are fluid and less crystallized, so a strong correlation has been highlighted between the role of the cyber bully and cyber victim: those who carry out acts of abuse online are more likely to suffer it themselves or hold both positions simultaneously in virtual environments differently. Hinduja and Patchin (2009) reported a large overlap in the roles of bullying and cyberbullying: those who attack or suffer in person have a greater chance of attacking or being harassed online.

Cyberbullying can manifest itself in different ways:

harassment: irepeated sending of offensive and harassing messages via email, instant messaging services (for example Messenger or Skype), posts on blogs or social media to another person. Unlike defamation, the sending of messages is aimed directly at the victim;

flaming: a subcategory of online harassment in which the continuous sending of vulgar messages and insults is aimed at sparking online disputes; a “troll” is defined as a user who wants to provoke discussions by insulting the participants of an online community, deliberately disturbing their communication even by purposely spreading vague and specious information. The “haters” instead, they those who despise and defame a person (often famous) or a specific concept;

cyberstalking: subcategory of online harassment which involves the persecution of the victim through intimidating and threatening messages; the attacker could use spyware to monitor the victim online (spyware is software that allows you to collect information on sites visited, login credentials, credit card number, etc.);

denigration: publishing gossip or rumors online about the victim, with the aim of damaging their reputation and social relationships. Denigration affects fundamental aspects of the victim’s life (ethnicity, religion, sexuality, scholastic difficulties) and occurs by sending denigrating emails to the victim’s ad-

dress book or by posting offensive messages on his social wall or, again, by building false profiles on social media that show embarrassing photos or gossip about the victim; identity theft: posing as the victim, the cyberbully carries out embarrassing actions to isolate the victim or denigrate him (through the dissemination of compromising and offensive material from a fake profile or by hacking the victim’s login credentials);

outing: the cyberbully obtains personal and confidential information regarding a person (often posing as a friend), manipulates it and spreads it online;

exclusion: online ostracism, i.e. intentionally excluding the victim from an online group (e.g. blog, chat, WhatsApp, Facebook), ignoring them in chats, ignoring their messages or contact invitations or excluding them from buddylists (list of correspondents of an application of e-mail or instant messaging, it is possible to see who is online and who is not, who does not want to be called, who is online but not on the computer) of personal sites and pages;

videoposting: the attacker films the victim in embarrassing moments and then edits the video and spreads it online;

happy-slapping: the victim is attacked and the video footage posted online;

sexting: sending sexually explicit images, texts or videos; among teenagers it is a fairly widespread phenomenon, for example they take a provocative photo of themselves as a birthday present for their boyfriend/girlfriend who then posts it on social media; you are not aware of it, but you expose yourself to blackmail, damage to your reputation (for example for future work relationships), solicitation by adults or to the use of material for child pornography purposes.

Some dangers that children can face online, in addition to the aforementioned child pornography (it is a crime according to the art. 600-ter paragraph 3 of the Criminal Code and consists in producing, disseminating and publicizing images and videos por-

traying minors involved in sexually explicit behaviour, real or simulated, or any representation of sexual organs for sexual purposes) are online gambling, grooming (or solicitation, whereby adults use psychological manipulation through messages and sending gifts, in order to receive sexualized videos and photos until meeting for the purpose of abuse) and deviant communities (closed online communities that share an objective, their own symbolic language, for example those of aspiring suicides, the Pro-Ana — anorexia — and Pro-Mia — bulimia — blogs, groups with racist ideology or TikTok challenges like Blue Whale and French Scars). Only apparently less dangerous, the phenomenon of vamping consists of staying up until the early hours of the morning chatting, posting and commenting, negatively influencing sleep-wake rhythms and predisposing one to sexting and cyberbullying.

HE/SHE FEELS BETTER if others suffer c hapter

Because he/she was hurt.

Because he/she recognises in the victim parts of him/herself (fragility, impotence) that he/ she does not accept and “manages” it by making others suffer.

Because emotional invulnerability gives him/her security.

Value the need to seek relationships, even in dysfunctional ways

Finalise his/her desire to have a role

Focus on personal skills and passions

WHAT NOT TO DO WHAT TO DO WHY DOES HE DO THAT?

DO NOT endorse the idea that being strong means not having feelings

DO NOT judge people but their behaviours

DO NOT openly take the victim’s side: the bully is also a victim and needs help

DO NOT refer to deficiencies in his family environment

What to keep in mind

What do hostile, intentional, persistent, subtle attacking behaviour (because it is often perpetrated in spaces collateral to teaching and in the silence of most) generally arouse in the teacher who is called to intervene in the situation?

Revulsion when confronted with the emotional armor of those who bully.

Disbelief at not having noticed the situation.

Frailty and a sense of helplessness due to the lack of suitable tools for the intervention.

A desire to offload the issue onto others (School principal, BES contact person, psychologist).

Empathy or blaming the victim who is unable to defend himself.

The coldness of those who bully is often the mirror of the profound fragility to which they have been exposed and from which it has proved necessary to defend themselves. The emotional stress of not feeling loved enough, of having to grow up quickly without having one’s needs listened to, of being adultized, abandoned, betrayed, humiliated or “used” in power-based relationships, triggers an emergency defense against emotional pain so overwhelming as to “fragment the self itself,” constituting a threat to one’s survival.

The solution is to exclude feelings of pain (desensitization) and to remove past painful experiences, veering towards the opposite pole: invulnerability. The sentence is

that of emotional poverty, given by relationships in which emotional exchange is replaced by control, an exercise of power and loss of contact with others and their emotions.

Those who have to deal with those who bully feel provoked and react in a punitive way, moving away. Due to this cold response, those who bully feel entitled to retreat into their armor, becoming increasingly unattainable. This vulnerability represents an important exposure factor for children who are preparing to face the transformations of adolescence. In fact, it entails that, in order to affirm one’s identity, risky behaviours are adopted as an outlet, to challenge invincibility or to distance oneself from oneself, when instead adolescents must be oriented towards risk with positive purposes (autonomy, ability to choose, empowerment, engagement of significant relationships, etc.).

What children in general lack is knowing how to rely, that is, relying on a reference adult who can be a support and an example to develop adequate socio-relational skills that allow them to “stay in the conflict”. In those who bully, this “non-mirroring” of the significant adult translates into a lack of containment, poor impulse control, and an inability to experience intimacy and empathy. Understanding other people’s behaviour and emotions only rationally involves not sharing in the other’s experience in an authentic way, that is, in order to be able to have real relationships, characterized by affection, closeness and warmth.

How to intervene

Neuroscientific studies have highlighted that emotional stress, caused by interactions with a dysfunctional psycho-social environ-

ment, would cause an overproduction of cortisol (stress hormone) which, by hyperactivating the immune defenses, affect the functioning of the healthy tissues of the hippocampus (repression in memory of negative emotions and past aggressive behaviours which makes conscious analysis difficult) and prefrontal cortex (poor control of emotions, deficiencies in empathy, difficulty in planning actions). The lowering of serotonin levels, however, would lead to the implementation of aggressive behaviours.

Your task is to implement psycho-educational interventions aimed at making the negative effects of these processes partially reversible: priority must be given to reducing harmful behaviours of the victims by emerging from indifference and implementing the collaboration of the entire class; the removal of the causes that lead bullies to act requires longer times.

Start by wanting to seek quality contact, which involves significant attention, with the “hurt child” who hides under the bully, despite the clear message of “Stay away” which he seems to have sewn onto himself. It is necessary to arm yourself with patience, firmness, constancy and emotional clarity. The hostility of these students is often also aimed at adults and the challenge is precisely to not get dragged into the conflict by mirroring the irritation and resentment that you feel thrown at you.

Seek authentic interest by focusing on the person rather than just their behaviour. What is the goal of his actions? What could be the consequences? Wrong behaviour must be sanctioned, but a blaming or sarcastic attitude would lead to the public shaming of the bully and an escalation of provocations, when your real aim is to teach how to manage potentially critical situations in a resilient way, in order to replace anger with calm. Without

good management of impulses and internal movements it is quite difficult to find space for reflection: you have to act as a “container”, that is, pro-encourage the growth of students by feeling even their ugliest parts, including the pain and havoc they cause.

Use the role playing tool to “review together” what happened, support the group to reflect on the emotions felt by giving them a name, reformulate the way of communicating personal needs (perhaps implementing a project on the use of inclusive language), propose hypotheses to support reading social situations, and help to think of alternative answers to provocation and abuse.

Don’t forget that…

For the preadolescent, acting aggressively is a way to communicate and try to generate a change in the environment.

Becoming aggressive can also be a strategy implemented to take care of some painful and unpleasant parts of oneself. In practice: “I take care of myself, of my difficulties (positive aspect), by throwing them outside (dysfunctional aspect)”.

Aggression, however, can make even those who have to deal with it lose their minds, so ask yourself: how do I manage my anger? Am I suited to handle this student’s protests in times of crisis? What aspects of my personal anger management can be an obstacle to intervening on the students’ situation? What resources can I deploy instead? How can we collaborate as colleagues to manage conflictual situations?

HE/SHE SHOWS himself

As a reaction to the devaluation resulting from the continuous rejection of others.

Because his/her basic certainties are so undermined that they do not allow him/her to objectively evaluate situations.

For fear of further retaliation.

Foster a class atmosphere where asking for help is not shameful

Protect the victim, if necessary by maintaining their anonymity at first

Value any attempt to request help as an active and proactive attitude to deal with the problematic situation

Suggest strategies to keep yourself safe and defend yourself from bullying

WHAT NOT TO DO WHAT TO DO WHY DOES HE DO THAT?

DO NOT collude with the victim’s “wall of silence” by avoiding addressing the problem

DO NOT press the victim with questions useful only to identify the culprits

DO NOT replace the victim in the actions to be taken to deal with abusers

What to keep in mind

One thing that those who abuse and those who are victims have in common is a mutual distrust in the ability of adults to understand their problems, so much so that they distance themselves from them. The bully does not trust the parent because he is afraid of becoming the object of derision or verbal or physical aggression in turn. He fears that his emotions will create irritability in the parent rather than a real concern aimed at understanding the meaning of actions that express a serious unease. The victim also does not turn to the parent, as he expects the latter to be hurt by his vulnerability (so, in addition to being hurt himself, he would end up hurting the person he needs) and this parental wound could then give rise to further situations of humiliation. If the parent addressed the bully directly (or his parents or the school authorities), he would confirm in the victim the feeling of being “wrong”, of not knowing how to manage on his own and of creating problems for the parents by making them feel humiliated, hurt and disappointed.

In the interview, the victim of abuse tends to blame adults in general for inattention, incoherence, inability to take clear positions and a certain insensitivity to his problems; he shows low self-confidence and a low level of assertiveness.

In the relationship with the bully, the victim tends to identify with the aggressor: knowing that he cannot fight him, he does not defend himself but, subjugated by fear, abdicates himself to become exactly what the person who bullies wants. He tends to feel on the one hand what the attacker himself feels, on the other what the attacker wants the victim to feel. The search for affection and

confirmation leads the victim into a vicious circle: in the belief that he must change his behaviour, mistakenly considered unsuitable, to rehabilitate his image in the eyes of the aggressor (and consequently in his own). He focuses on the behaviour considered inadequate by trying to correct it with reparative actions, perpetuating a relationship of submission and dependence which, in turn, responds to the need of those who prevail to maintain their own supremacy and dominion over him. Some studies have shown how devaluing messages create a sort of emotional block in the victim, due to anxiety and the perception of personal insecurity, such as to prevent the short-term memory from remaining focused on cognitive tasks. This implies that those who suffer, traumatized by fear and paralyzed by humiliations, show a decline in academic performance and do not seek adequate defense strategies to counteract what they suffer, instead closing themselves down and resigning themselves in a passive way to avoid further retaliation.

In many aspects, the passive victim of bullying is trapped in the “good child syndrome”: raised in a context in which he was never allowed to say no, to express his anger understood as fire and determination, he ends up accepting the unacceptable just to feel part of a whole. The victim also has a lack of self-esteem because it is possible that, since childhood, he has been mortified by adults who, instead of protecting him, have humiliated and frightened him to the point of having internalized an “inner bully” who seems to say to him: “ You deserve it, they are right to treat you like this,

you don’t deserve to be happy, your destiny is to suffer and suffer endlessly».

How to intervene

Show the student who is the victim of bullying your “unconditional care,” that is, look at him without idealized expectations, but as who he is as an individual. This contributes to forming a “shield of dignity,” that is, the idea of having value, the feeling to have the strength, and the courage not to accept the unacceptable. The work with the victim should lead to making him feel and understand that no one has the right to humiliate him, to trample on him, and that his first task is to learn to love himself.

Arm yourself with patience because it may take more than a moment for the events and their dynamics to emerge. The important thing is to make people feel that importance is given to what is being told and that the version told is believed, even if partial or altered.

If you take initiatives, make sure you do it in agreement with the victim, to make him feel supported and help him find a solution on his own, without falling into the immediate need to seek justice. Maintaining an overprotective attitude avoids negative experiences, but makes children incapable of even thinking of being able to face the most difficult situations on their own. Protecting a student too much means guaranteeing him the impossibility of abandoning the role of victim. For this reason the “sacrificial victim,” when provoked, does not know how to react, is unable to assert his rights, is scared and afraid of re-

venge, therefore responds to physically and verbally violent and denigrating conduct with submission, in the belief that he is not able.

Do not endorse the avoidance of places where the bullying episodes occurred. The victim can move away momentarily, creating a sort of “buffer period,” but then needs to be supported in returning to usual activities. With the help of the family, support socialization channels that convey a positive and functioning image of the victim in order to give him his security.

Don’t forget that…

An ever-increasing number of adolescents engage in occasional or repeated self-harm behaviours over time. At the basis of these acts there is often an internalizing symptomatology (anxiety, depression, social withdrawal and somatization) which, not always taking the form of a clinical diagnosis, is difficult to recognize unless it is already at a full-blown level, but in any case it negatively affects school progress and family and friend relationships. Furthermore, studies indicate that the appearance of depressive feelings in pre-adolescence heralds the manifestation of more significant depressive symptoms in subsequent years. Being a pre-adolescent with high levels of empathy can constitute a risk condition if there are no relationships with truly supportive adults (in being able to accept a child as he is, give emotional warmth, be available for dialogue).

HE/SHE IS A silent spectator c hapter

Because he/she is indifferent and not very empathetic.

Because he/she fears retaliation from those who abuse and is afraid of them being considered a spy.

Because he/she doesn’t feel involved and thinks that someone closer to the victim should intervene.

Because he/she thinks that if the victim doesn’t react, it means that it’s not a problem for him/her.

WHAT TO DO WHY DOES HE DO THAT?

Organise personal interviews with the students so that everyone’s feelings emerge

Raise pupils’ awareness of the phenomenon

Enhance social skills and encourage cooperative work

Share and comment with the class on the provisions of the Institute Regulations and the Agreement of co-responsibility

WHAT NOT TO DO

DO NOT work with the small group of students (perpetrators and victims) of the dynamic without involving the the entire class group

DO NOT forget to safeguard whoever spoke (also evaluating the opportunity to maintain anonymity)

DO NOT make impromptu interventions

What to keep in mind

In the 10th National Report on the Condition of Children and Adolescents, many interviewees stated that they did not intervene to help a persecuted person because they were afraid (declared by 25.7% of the sample). Others admitted that they had felt anger when faced with arrogance (30.3%), but that they did not know adequate strategies in defense of the weakest without running the risk of suffering retaliation from the aggressor.

10% of the sample showed solidarity with the bully, while 3.1% declared that they had fun as spectators. 1.7% of the sample felt admiration for the bully and 2.7% envied the stronger one. Lastly, 3.4% declared that they remained indifferent when faced with an action of oppression. The “silent spectator” students are the true accomplices of those who abuse. With their silence, or even with their annoying and irreverent smiles, they support the self-satisfaction of those who commit violence, who feel like protagonists, and revitalize their actions in a euphoria of apparent impunity. They even go so far as to mythologize the bully, to think we are in love with him because we admire him, fascinated by the projection into a model that appears successful (machismo).

In most cases, behind non-intervention there is the fear of taking the victim’s place in the case of defending the weakest, but also the fear of being discriminated against by the reference group: anyone who were to intervene in the victim’s defense would thus suffer a double punishment. A “bystander effect” has also been defined: people are less inclined to intervene to help a

person in difficulty the greater the number of individuals present.

Belonging to a social group provides members of the group with a sense of social identity that not only describes them, but “prescribes” appropriate behaviour.

However, focusing on raising the awareness of the majority so that it breaks the indifference can lead to a contagious sense of solidarity which, spreading within the group, interrupts the vile action.

How to intervene

It is important to know how to read the gene ral direction of the class. Ask yourself: is the group united, divided into many subgroups or does it consist of leaders (positive/negative) and a majority that follows them? Is the group predominantly cooperative or competitive/conflictual? Is the classroom system open or closed with respect to the stresses it receives?

Suggest intervention strategies to the spectators aimed at helping the weakest while at the same time protecting themselves from retaliation. Promote aversive behaviours (avoid providing support and complicity in incorrect actions) that extinguish reinforcement, such as disapproval. Kids can urge the bully to stop with phrases such as: “It’s not funny”, “What you’re doing is not okay,” “What if they did it to you?” They should be invited to remain calm and focused without taking actions that aggravate the situation, avoiding themselves taking on the role of the bully by insulting and making fun of them. It is important to sa-

feguard the victim by keeping him safe. It is a good idea not to leave him alone. Bullies often target others when they are alone: therefore, peers can remind the victim that he is strong, offer to walk home or to school together, go to the bathroom or otherwise spend time together. Helping your mate also means not imposing help on him (which weakens the victim) but evaluating together the need to accompany him to turn to an adult (teacher/manager) or a mate for help given that there is always strength in numbers (the victim will feel more protected and the bully less appreciated). Using the experience of peer tutoring, the idea of creating a safety committee within the class could be promoted, with a real reference for common life (for example, creating a code of conduct with democratically shared rules).

It is also possible to assign (and rotate) the role of “friendly operator”, i.e. a companion who is responsible for supporting the children who have recently arrived at the school, taking an active role in the moments of break time during the day, trying to involve classmates who are isolated or rejected by the class. To do this, it is advisable to provide training with a psychologist and teachers during which the designated children can acquire the skills of listening, paraphrasing and reflecting on what the subject has said, expressing empathy and developing a vocabulary centered on the terms and person’s moods. The choice of operators is made by balancing: the qualities relevant to the role recognized by their classmates, the self-nomination of the

children themselves and the evaluation of the class teachers.

As a general rule, it is recommended to identify three or four children of each class in the role of friendly operator.

The idea of peer mediation, however, involves the creation of pairs of mediation partners in the event of conflict. It must be conveyed to children that the resolution of a conflict can be negative and destructive, but also positive, that is, it consists of an opportunity to get to know oneself and others better. In particular, the positive outcome is consequent to the ability to modify the conflict in such a way as to allow the evolution and transformation of the relationships between the parties, allowing for greater rapprochement and mutual respect. Mediation aims to reach a satisfactory agreement for both parties through the voluntary use of an impartial third party.

Don’t forget that…

For pre-adolescents, and even more so in the adolescent period, the group plays an essential role, becoming the collective psychological container within which to progressively build one’s own identity. To do so, recognition by others is essential.

The group “initiates” its members into the roles and responsibilities of adult life, becoming a mirror in which to reflect.

The image it projects on us plays a decisive role in establishing who we are and who we might become.

TEACHERS who don’t see the problem

BUT NO PROF... WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN...

IT’S TRUE... I WAS NOT OFFENDED

WHY DOES HE DO THAT?

Because they ask for information from those directly involved without taking into account that everyone has a good reason to remain silent or lie.

Because they believe that these incidents cannot happen in the classroom.

Because they do not know or underestimate the fact that the accumulation of risk factors over time increases the probability of aggressive behaviour and victimization.

Because they tend to work from a reactive rather than preventive, structural and organizational perspective.

WHAT TO DO

Take care of life skills education

Promote environments and relationships that promote well-being

Define a vision and mission that guide the antibullying intervention

WHAT NOT TO DO

DO NOT have aggressive attitudes at school when you say you want to teach respect

DO NOT simply respond to the actions of individuals, but give system responses (institutional and inter-institutional actions)

DO NOT define anti-bullying rules and procedures without sharing them

What to keep in mind

Is it really true that teachers don’t “see” acts of bullying? Although the teacher is often alone in the classroom (with the exception of all those cases in which he can count on the presence of support colleagues or assistant educators for a few hours), it is extremely rare that he does not sanction inappropriate behaviour that occurs under his own eyes. Maybe the intervention is not firm, timely and coherently organised, but it is there. In situations where the problem seems “unseen,” a series of critical issues arise. The teacher encounters a first difficulty in detecting the actions in question. All the actors involved have an interest in lying: those who abuse (and their accomplices) do not want to be discovered, the victim is afraid of retaliation, of disappointing and hurting those who love her so she remains silent, spectators often tend to remain silent or become unaware accomplices (for example, when an offensive false profile is created online). It is preferable to strengthen observation skills rather than relying only on the reports of those directly involved. The second critical issue is distinguishing whether the aggressive act taking place is bullying or something else. For example, fights or repeated jokes between peers are not bullying (the relationship is one of equivalence of strength in which the subjects involved alternately play roles of abuser/prevaricator)… but when do they degenerate? The line between arrogance and a joke is not very clear, it is essential to take as reference criteria: the victim’s discomfort, considering that children consider behaviours to be humiliating and domineering that adults do not always perceive as serious; the duration of the episodes;

the presence of asymmetry (there is no balance of power).

Another category of behaviour that does not qualify as bullying is violent physical aggression, use of weapons or dangerous objects, serious threats, sexual harassment or abuse, i.e. antisocial acts for which the school must act in agreement with the judicial authority, social service, or health service. It is essential to be able to distinguish the quality of these behaviours since the obligation to report these actions to the appropriate authority cannot be overlooked. The requirement of the judicial, or other, authority to prosecute a crime that they have become aware of is not negligible. If a teacher, being a public servant, has knowledge of a crime (even when the person to whom the crime is attributed is not identified) they must exercise their obligation to service (sentence no. 15367/2014, Court of Cassation). In the first studies by Olweus (1993) it was noted that bullying episodes occurred mainly in less supervised places in the school environment (changing rooms, canteen, courtyard) while, in recent years, it is evident that the more subtle and psychological forms have increased (for example, the progressive social isolation of the victim or the manipulation of the friendships he enjoys) and can also be implemented in the classroom, i.e. in the most supervised school environment. For teachers, realizing the risk of bullying and victimization among their students also means knowing how to take into account the interaction between risk factors that concern the individual, environmental risk factors and protective factors that must be strengthened beforehand in order to reduce the incidence of the phenomenon.

How to intervene

The anti-bullying intervention must work on reducing aggressive behaviour but also on modifying the identity and roles of all those involved through a program of shared and synergistic actions between the different educational contexts. Given the fact that the obligation to supervise and look after the pupils falls on the teacher and the school, the teacher must not be left alone to combat the phenomenon, but regulations must be activated that are shared with the school community and other educational agencies. Keep in mind that aggressive behaviours (reduced self-control, physical or verbal aggression towards adults, emotional flatness during and after the act, appearance of prevarications in multiple living environments) can evolve into stable behaviours (increased pervasiveness and frequency of aggressive acts, outlines of planning of prevaricating conduct) and, subsequently, crystallize at the level of identity traits (aggressive conduct planned in detail, emotional absence with respect to one’s behaviour, approach to deviant conduct of another kind such as theft or use of substances). At what level is the situation on which you are called to act? The earlier the intervention, the less crystallized the identities of individuals become. When the act occurs, make a report of the incident to send to school management and note it in the class register. It is important not to waste time because you risk distorting what happened and details make the difference.

Instant activation is of fundamental importance not only to punish but also to protect the victim. Based on the seriousness of the conduct, the school institution will then evaluate the disciplinary measures to be adopted against the student, favoring the

use of remedial disciplinary sanctions, convertible into activities in favor of the school community, also in compliance with what is indicated in the ministerial directive (n. 16 of 5 February 2007).

The competences in disciplinary matters, if the transgressive behaviour is foreseen by the Institute’s disciplinary regulations, fall to the Class Council; any appeals against disciplinary measures must be addressed to the Regional Guarantee Body (at the Regional School Office). It is important to remember that the sanctions given by the school do not replace nor are they replaced by any criminal sanctions (if the violent conduct constitutes a crime or a civil one for damage unjustly caused to things or people, for which the families of the minors involved are liable. As a teacher you will be able to participate in the anti-bullying and cyberbullying educational policy within the Institute at three levels:

1. intervention deliberated by the Teaching Committee and approved by the Institute Council (macro level);

2. intervention developed by the team that is responsible for identifying strengths, areas for improvement, objectives to be pursued to combat bullying through the tool of the Self-Evaluation Report for verifying the quality of the Institute’s service, and identifying the actions to be included in the Plan of Improvement and to formalize these actions in the PTOF to be shared with the school community (intermediate level). The team, depending on the resources and autonomy of the individual schools, can be made up differently, but usually includes the Head Teacher, a representative for the school collaborators, two parent representatives (and two student representatives in upper secondary school, and the contact people for: bullying and cyberbullying, digital animator, health and well-be-

ing, inclusion, and the guardian of the correct application of the Institute regulations;

3. intervention carried out by the teachers with the class (micro level).

At the micro level you can implement proactive interventions that aim to create a safe social environment that is increasingly capable of self-protection: education on respect and the awareness of everyone’s uniqueness; promotion of life skills; support for assertive communication; promotion of cooperative contexts to build alliances between adults and between pupils and adults; promote the empowerment of individuals; share values, rules and procedures; make learning environments usable.

Reactive interventions are the set of actions that can be implemented after an incident has occurred and which aim to protect the victim by promoting his reintegration into the group while avoiding the repetition of abuse and the rigidification of roles. Create a “cord of protection” around the victim made up of companions with good social skills and who do not leave him alone in unstructured moments.

Increase awareness of the group’s experiences through role playing. Form a small group of conflict mediation students.

Use educational programming to include workshops aimed at promoting active citizenship skills (mutual listening, discussion, respect for rules and collaboration) through forms of artistic

expression (music, dance, theatre, painting, story writing), sports, technology (creation of multimedia projects) and through meditation. Introduce methodologies that favor the group’s sharing of responsibility for what happened (no-blame approach) and the stimulation of proposed solutions to the problem (shared interest method) which presuppose the suspension of the sanction for the bully and his helpers.

Don’t forget that…

The PTOF (Three-Year Educational Offer Plan) and the Educational Co-responsibility Pact of your Institute which, according to Law no. 71/2017 “Provisions for the protection of minors for the prevention and fight against the phenomenon of cyberbullying” must contain the measures dedicated to prevention, the disciplinary measures, the sanctions, which bodies are competent to provide them and according to which procedure. These constitute the Institute’s mission, i.e. the set of specific actions (tools and activities) through which the school community intends to promote prevention, stimulate awareness, detect and manage problems related to bullying and cyberbullying.

By reading the documents you should also grasp the vision of your school, made up of the set of long-term objectives that it sets itself in order to improve the well-being of the school community and to combat the phenomena of bullying and cyberbullying, its fundamental values, the ‘ideal’ self for the future, and collegial moral values.

INSIGHT

Come intervenire su bullismo e cyberbullismo in classe

How to intervene on bullying and cyberbullying in the classroom

Proactive Intervention

MICRO INTERVENTION LEVEL: THE CLASS

Reactive Intervention

PROACTIVE INTERVENTIONS:

have the aim of building a safe prosocial context, transmitting it to the students communication, emotional and social skills promoting positive and cooperative relationships in the classroom.

• CIRCLE TIME: 30-45 minutes, with the aim of sharing the founding principles of everyday life in the classroom (mutual help, respect for rules, non-tolerance of violence).

• COOPERATIVE LEARNING: method to accustom children to being together both in learning moments and in playful contexts.

REACTIVE INTERVENTIONS:

are implemented in the presence of bullying in order to create conditions of safety for the victim, interrupt prevaricating actions and intervene on roles and relationships in the classroom.

• ROLE PLAYING: the objective is not to discuss the episode in detail but to understand the emotional state and thought patterns of the victim, bully, spectators, eliciting proposals for solutions and asking for an assumption of responsibility in this regard.

• IMPROVEMENT CIRCLES: weekly meeting of children divided into groups of 8-10, lasting 30-45 minutes. The aim is to identify an objective for improving well-being at school, recognize the facilitations and obstacles to achieving it, formulate and discuss an improvement plan.

• SPECIFIC AWARENESS RAISING ON THE TOPICS OF BULLYING AND CYBERBULLYING: through reading books/newspaper articles, videos, theatre, music, dance, singing, sports, technologies, relaxation techniques.

• PEER MEDIATION: a group of students is trained in a 15-hour intensive course and through 1-hour supervision on a weekly/ fortnightly basis, on the fundamental skills of mediation and those of observation and detection of conflicts. When a conflict occurs, the mediator asks the classmates if they want to find a solution together, inviting them to a quiet place and clarifying the rules of mediation which, if violated, will imply the sanctioning intervention of the adult. Everyone will be invited to tell their version and look for a solution that works for both of them. The mediator will set up a follow-up time to evaluate whether the solution has been successfully implemented.

• NO GUILT APPROACH: the victim writes a report of one’s experience with respect to the incident, after having warned that no one will be punished, one is asked to listen carefully to the report which will be read by a companion, chosen on the basis of one’s role in the group and one’s communication and prosocial skills, one reflects on the fact that the responsibility belongs to everyone and solutions are identified through brainstorming, a moment of verifying the progress made.

• SHARED INTEREST: it is clarified that no one will be punished and a moment of individual discussion is organised with bullies to understand their perspective and help them the understand emotional damage caused to the victim, the perspective is reversed by asking them how it is possible to

resolve the situation, a conversation with the victim is organised, they are supported and the attackers’ solutions are discussed, periodic individual meetings are planned with both the bullies and the victim to verify progress and concludes with a final joint meeting to strengthen prosocial behaviours and reintegrate the victim.

www.erickson.it