Page 1 Monday 22 April 2013 Issue 1269 Free

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Est. 1948


Newcastle sign deal with Adidas By Anna Templeton News Editor

A new partnership between Newcastle University, Newcastle University Students’ Union and Adidas is set to be the first ever collaboration between a UK institution and the global sports brand. The two-year deal will provide funding for improving coaching and support for the Athletic Union, part of the Students’ Union. Laura Mason, Athletic Union Officer, said: “This partnership is a fantastic opportunity to support, improve and extend the sporting achievements of those hard-working students who balance their studies with an amazing commitment to representing Newcastle University in their sport.” The main benefit to the Students’ Union from this deal will be finance which feeds directly into the funding of University sport in equipment and facilities. Mason explained: “This partnership with Adidas is a step-up in terms of the amount of funding that will be available to students from next academic year and signifies a more strategic focus for sport at Newcastle.” The partnership will give sports teams the ability to order and design their own kits to their own specifications on a new website. There will be a 40% discount for students ordering kit from Adidas, and for the wider student body there will be a 20% discount on items purchased from There will also be a 5% royalty payment to the University, based on the amount of Adidas merchandise sold. As part of the deal, two of the University’s most talented athletes will also be selected at the beginning of the next academic year to receive scholarships and sportswear. There will also be opportunities for Adidas brand ambassadors, who will receive a further discount on sportswear. “With this partnership there are significant financial benefits in terms of

sponsorship money for clubs and new sports scholarship bursaries, but also significant discount on Adidas sportswear exclusively for all Newcastle students. There are employability benefits in terms of placements in the Adidas group with part-time brand ambassador roles available on campus,” said Mason. “Adidas are a higher profile brand and will be a good quality, optional kit supplier for Team Newcastle and Intra Mural teams, plus there are opportunities for Adidas to bring big name sporting stars to campus for unique events (such as Olympic gold medalists that they also sponsor). “Feedback from clubs has been very positive so I hope Newcastle University students will feel fantastic in the clothing from Adidas and enjoy the many benefits this partnership will bring.” One of the biggest concerns for the Students’ Union is staying within the top 10 of the British Universities and Colleges Sports (BUCS) league, and there are hopes that the deal with Adidas will help cement this success for further years. Some students have raised concerns about the ethical profile of Adidas, with social media pages criticising the human rights standards of the company. The student network People and Planet have stated that: “Given the negative publicity that the company has been facing over this issue, it appears that Adidas is turning to more secretive methods to keep its profit margins high.” In a statement from the Adidas Group, they said: “The Adidas Group is committed to ensuring fair labor practices, fair wages and safe working conditions in factories throughout our global supply chain. These active efforts are guided by our core values as a company. Importantly, the Adidas Group is confident that we are adhering to and, in fact, exceeding standards our stakeholders expect from us on these matters.” continued on page 8

Magnificent Marrow hit the road

News p.3

Police alert of Jesmond streaker By Susie Beever News Editor Northumbria police are still appealing for information surrounding reports of indecent exposure in the Jesmond area. Witnesses have come forward claiming to have been confronted with a man exposing himself at two metro stations in the suburb. The occasion has twice been accounted for by passengers waiting for the Metro service on the platform at Ilford

Road and West Jesmond stations. The first incident happened at 7:10am outside Ilford Road station on Monday April 1st. The second incident was reported four days later, occurring at 7:20am on Friday April 5th at West Jesmond station. Inspector Caroline Ord of Newcastle Area Command said: “Enquiries are underway into these offences and we are looking into the possibility the incidents may be linked. “No-one was injured as a result of

these incidents but they have been left understandably shocked and upset. “We are doing everything we can to identify the person responsible and officers will be patrolling the area to offer reassurance to the public. “We would appeal to anyone with any information which may assist with our enquiries to come forward.” Police are interested to hear from any students with further information on these two events.




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Six-month tribute to student killed in a tragic road accident

DEEP SEA DIVING Uni pioneer new national centre for engineering

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

News Editors: George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor: Aine Stott | @TheCourier_News

Iguana go to the party


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STUDENT DANGER Were the students taken to North Korea at risk?



Thomas wants to show people that spiders and snakes are very friendly animals Photos: Thonas Rogerson

Was the BBC right in choosing not to play the song?


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The Courier assesses relegation candidates

WILDCATS WIN Icehockey C team win national champs

By Cathy Bundy An entrepreneurial second year Zoology student at Newcastle University has turned his hobby into a successful business, while receiving academic credit for his achievement. Thomas Rogerson created ‘Creature Encounters’ for his career development module, and the business has quickly taken off. Based on taking a range of exotic animals to various events, ‘Creature Encounters’ has become a full time job worked around the demands of his degree. While there are other businesses that offer a similar service, most only specialise in either furry animals or reptiles. Thomas brings both to events. Sharing his student bedroom with an extensive collection of creatures including 8 snakes (one of which is a 7ft python), 16 lizards, tortoises and a tarantula, leaves little room for anything but cages. Mammals are found in the living room - including a flying squirrel, which likes to run up the curtains and sit on top of the curtain pole. The collection is constantly growing with the newest additions – two chipmunks - picked up on Sunday. There are now 52 different species in total. Running the business takes up a lot of time with so many animals to look after and a busy schedule of events. Thomas has help from his girlfriend. “It definitely helps that we are both animal crazy”, he said.

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“I enjoy talking to kids and trying to get them excited about animals - showing them not to be afraid of spiders or snakes, which are not as scary as people make them out to be. Despite their bad

reputation, they are really friendly and make very good pets.” Thomas has been building his collection since the age of 16, starting out with creatures such as geckos. Working

Editor Ben Travis Online Editor Ben Brown News Editors George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor Aine Stott Comment Editors Georgie Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor Jennifer Evans Features Editor Tom Nicholson Listings Editor Sally Priddle Lifestyle Editors Catherine Davison and Ellie Cropper Online Lifestyle Editors Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood Beauty Editor Amy Macauley Arts Editors Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editor Grace Harvey Film Editors Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor Chris Binding TV Editor Chris Taylor Online TV Editor Ben Parkin Music Editors Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta Science Editor James Simpson Puzzle Editors Sally Priddle and Tom Nicholson Sports Editors Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe Copy Editors Rachel Horrocks, Charley Monteith, Leanne Penning, Chris Smith, Matty Aston, Sabine Kutcher

in a pet shop during his gap year gave him access to a lot of animals at trade prices and his collection quickly grew. Despite the move into halls at Windsor Terrace, Thomas still managed to sneak a tarantula and a gecko into his student room, which he kept hidden under the bed. Choosing a student house for second year with a landlord that allowed pets was a priority, as the idea of an exotic animal business was by this time well formed. The success of ‘Creature Encounters’ is growing rapidly and Thomas has recently given a public lecture about zoology, attended by well-known exotic vet Sam Prescott. Thomas has started breeding animals and is currently incubating gecko eggs. 3 baby hedgehogs have recently been born under his care. With the expansion of the business, Thomas has ambitious plans for the future, including hopes to increase the collection after graduation to include bigger animals. Thomas will be running two upcoming events outside the Students’ Union – ‘Lion’s Den’ on the Wednesday 24th April and ‘Inner Child Day’ on the Thursday 2nd May, which will be more than your average petting zoo.

More exotic animals?

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

‘Tour de Marrow’ raises £20k as cyclists crisscross country By George Sandeman News Editor Over the Easter holiday the Marrow Society completed two cycling tours to raise money for blood cancer research. Racking up a total of around £21,000, two groups of students took on a coastto-coast ride from Whitehaven to Tynemouth and a mammoth journey from Land’s End to John o’Groats. Speaking to The Courier, fourth year medical student Matt Jones, who organised the Land’s End to John o’Groats trip, talked of how well things went. “Both rides have surpassed expectations really, I didn’t expect them to be so successful. The positive feedback has been immense. “It would be great if [the rides] could become an annual thing. I think we’ve inadvertently tapped into something here.” The 1,030 mile trip inspired a strong

spirit of camaraderie amongst the 15 participants. “By the end it was a bit like nobody really wanted to separate. “We did team huddles in the mornings and, I know it sounds cliché, but on the last day I read the speech from Henry V. The one that goes: ‘We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.’ “And another guy also did a bit from the film Cool Runnings where he goes: ‘I see pride! I see power!’ And we all chant that back and him. So it was lovely and emotional and also sad.” Matt also recalled some of the comedy antics that took place over the 15-day trip. “Somebody hit a pothole and went over his handlebars, which was funny. But not for him.” He also told the story of how the group found an interesting place to sleep. “We spent one night in an abandoned Indian restaurant. “There was a fire at a hostel in Inverness which some of us were supposed

to be staying in so when we got there, and it had all burnt down, there wasn’t enough room so the owner said he had just bought an abandoned Indian restaurant City centre was quite rough with and we could the fights going on. spend night in there. “It felt a bit like “We took the film 28 Days it apart and ourLater and we all made selves as comfelt a bit under fortable as we siege, hoping could as well as they wouldn’t using the filthy kitchen.” break in.” Matt said they found the Inverness city centre quite rough with fights going on outside their sleeping area. “It felt a bit like the film 28 Days Later and we all felt a bit under siege, hoping they wouldn’t break in.”

Describing how the cyclists kept themselves nourished, Matt said: “We were supposed to cook meals for ourselves every night but there were quite a lot of parents who turned up to help. So there were big buckets of chilli and the like.” M. Steel Cycles of Gosforth, who sponsored the cycling tops, also helped out on both cycle rides as well as the legal firm Irwin Mitchell who also sponsored the team. Paid for by the Students’ Union, a nine-seater minibus was used as a support vehicle and followed behind the riders with other members of the Marrow Society at the University volunteering to be the drivers. “They were great and did all the shopping for us and then would meet us for lunch later on in the day. “They’d open up the boots and we’d swarm all over it trying to shove down as many calories as we could in 20 min-

utes.” Cycling between eight and nine hours a day, Matt believed the group was averaging about 10 miles per hour once stops and repairs had been factored in. “None of us are massively experienced [road cyclists], we’re all around midlevel which is quite nice.” Whilst the route had been meticulously planned to include as few A roads and urban areas as possible, the pack did have to cycle through Warrington. “That was the day everybody was dreading in advance because it was about 30 miles of urban cycling. It was a bit grim in places but actually turned out okay.” All 15 riders finished the trip despite having to cycle 90 miles into a headwind on the last day. “No one was going to give up, they were a tenacious bunch. “By the time we reached the finish we definitely felt like we’d earnt it.”


The 1,030 mile trip took over two weeks to complete and fostered close personal bonds amongst the riders Image: Marrow Newcastle

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Uni scientists develop worldwide football tweet tracker By Chrystina Martel Scientists at the university have created a website that plots worldwide Twitter activity surrounding British football clubs. The concept behind the web-based ‘Football Tweet Map’ was originally developed by scientists here at Newcastle to aid those affected by recent flooding across the UK. In order to assess the severity of the floods in certain areas, the team encouraged Twitter users to enable the GPS function on their phones and use specific hashtags to report flood-related

ter around a club in real-time to build up a picture of the buzz around a match or club and the spread of fans around the world” The site, which is still in “early development stages” boasts a variety of features, such as being able to see a ‘Live Map’ of football tweets, a ‘Club Heatmap’ which shows the concentration of tweets related to a specific team, and a “Tweet Table” highlighting the mosttweeted about clubs. For those interested in specific games, for example the controversial Tyne & Wear derby, the website is able to simulate Twitter activity throughout the day with pop-up notifications detailing game events such

“I have a passion for football and wanted to see if we could do a similar thing for the nation’s favourite game to build a picture of the buzz” events. Phil James, lecturer in Geomatics and project lead, told The Courier: “During the recent floods we were able to build up a picture of the worst-hit areas, the depth of the water in some places, flash points and other information that is helping others in our team to find ways to mitigate the effects of future flooding”. Civil Engineering and Geosciences Research Assistant, Neil Harris, lead the project in a different direction. He explained: “I have a passion for football and wanted to see if we could do a similar thing for the nation’s favourite game – a map that could track the chat-

as half time and goals scored. The future of the map is uncertain, and while we will not be seeing a mobile app any time soon, Neil Harris hopes to add more content and features to the site. He explained that currently only certain games are featured, such as the Tyne Wear derby and Manchester derbies, but hopes that in the future more games will be included. Another possible development remains to be the addition of other country’s leagues to the site, as whilst the trends are shown globally they currently only feature British teams.


Members of the university have developed a way to track worldwide response to the beautiful game.

Students call for University to divest from Shell and BP By Ben Travis Editor Students’ Union Council passed a resolution to call on Newcastle University to cease its investment in the oil companies Royal Dutch Shell and British Petroleum (BP) at its meeting on 7 March 2013. The motion called for University management to adhere to their Socially Responsible Investment Policy (SRIP) which was published in July 2011 and states: “[Newcastle] University is committed to investing in a socially responsible manner. It has previously decided that it will not make any investment in tobacco companies and it is proposed that the University should not invest in companies whose activities are inconsistent with its educational and/or research objectives.” The University also decided at that time, not to exclude any other category of investment but committed to considering “not investing in particular companies” in future, following complaints made against them either through a recognised Trade Union, the University Committee structures or the Students’ Union representation system; this divestment being called for via the latter. Fresh concerns from students have focussed on evidence that Shell and BP are responsible for serious and persistent environmental damage. Shell’s oil exploration near Nigeria and alleged lack of preparedness for its drilling activities in the Arctic have raised concerns, alongside BP’s responsibility for

the well-publicised Deepwater Horizon oil spill of 2010. Newcastle University’s investment level in Shell and BP remains unclear due to investment fund managers, Majedie, being responsible for providing a financial return to the University each year in accordance with the SRIP. Majedie use a wide portfolio of investment that can vary depending on the strategy employed by the fund managers at any particular time; however for the Student Council it was estimated that this was around £3.4m on 31 July 2012. The case for divestment from Shell and BP will soon be presented to the University senior management (Executive Board) by Students’ Union President, Laura Perry who commented: “It’s great to see students engaging in debates around the big issues of the day and in participating in Students’ Union democracy, they are ensuring that real scrutiny is occurring into the investment practises of the University.” University Executive Board will be required to observe the evidence presented to them regarding these two companies and make recommendations to the University Council. This body will then decide on whether to take no further action, instruct the investment managers to raise concerns with these companies at their annual meeting of shareholders, or conclude that there should be no further investment in Shell or BP. Any questions or comments should be directed to Laura via e-mail at:

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Students brew up new advertising business HOTSHOT OF ESPRESSO

Four business students have developed a new advertising strategy...on coffee cup sleeves Image: Jessica Moore

By Faye Chivers It seems that just one bright idea really can form the basis for a great entrepreneurial venture, as four current Business Management students have discovered. Rachel Ward, Charlotte Bennett, Rebecca Walton and Molly Derbyshire, all aged 19-20, are the brains behind Hotshot Ads, an advertising business based around takeout coffee cup sleeves. The idea is simple yet brilliant: whereas large coffee retailers design their own cup sleeves, the team identified a gap in the market with independent coffee shops that use plain covers for their takeout cups. Given the steady flow of tea and coffee in the Newcastle student community alone, this adds up to a lot of coffee cups and a lot of unused potential advertising space. Created as part of their Business Enterprise module, the team have cleverly tapped into the student attitude to advertising. The number of leaflets that students are constantly bombarded with garner next to zero attention, but drinks are a different matter altogether. The idea is to focus people’s attention for a certain amount of time as they drink; after all, you spend a lot longer drinking a hot drink than you do browsing a random leaflet. While the bright idea came easily enough, this business has not come into being without substantial effort and commitment from the group. The team worked out target businesses and customers through extensive market research, and settled on the coffee culture of Jesmond as a perfect fit for ad-

vertising hairdressers and businesses on coffee cups in that area. Moreover, the team dealt with struggling to find a printer and getting their heads around the logistics of the advertising industry. Nevertheless, these four students have been brewing up a storm, and have already had significant success. The company has just secured a massive deal with a huge Newcastle company which currently has to remain anonymous, but which will surely draw maximum exposure to this new enterprise. Hotshot Ads The team also be supsettled on the will the coffee coffee culture plying cup sleeves for of Jesmond the drinks served as a perfect fit at the first annual for advertising N.U. Lion’s Den event in the Unhairdressers ion on Wednesand businesses day 24th April. The event, run by the Newcastle University Business School, NU Marketing Society, NU Alumni Association and support of the NU Entrepreneur society, will showcase enterprising Newcastle University students and their businesses. Hotshot Ads has been launched in Newcastle to begin with, but hopes for expansion are running high within the team. With most of the members carrying out placements in 2014, Hotshot Ads faces a perfect opportunity to expand far beyond the North East. With this is mind, it might not be long before people will be seeing ‘Your Advert Here’ on coffee cups across the country.

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

A life taken too soon

Six months after the tragic death of Pippa Darlington, three of her flatmates sat down with News Editor George Sandeman to reflect on coping with loss, lessons learnt and how she nearly joined MI5 “I had all these messages saying: ‘Call us, call us, we’ve got something to tell you.’ And I just jokingly thought: ‘Oh, what’s she done now.’” Charlie Everitt was sitting in an Omani airport on a 14 hour stop over when he found out. “All I could think about was: ‘Is this real?’ You never, ever think something like this could happen to you or your best friends. We are young and invincible! I thought Zoe was lying. I couldn’t accept it. And now I’m stranded in an airport.” Due to technical difficulties, his flight was delayed another two hours. Zoe Mackinnon was woken up in the middle of the night when she became one of the first to find out. “I had to break the news to people. I had to try get everyone [clubbing in town] back. They were on a night out and it’s quite hard to say: ‘You have to

Pippa and Tara,” described Ben. “It was a really good atmosphere in that it was positive and you had to move on in a positive way. Lots of bright colours, everyone had to wear bright colours.” Zoe added: “It was beautiful, the message of it was that they are still with us in spirit. To celebrate their lives, not sit and mourn them. I poured out so much emotion that day but I felt like a took a step forward.” Having grown up in Edinburgh, Zoe came to university at 17 and was too young to have done the kind of travelling Pippa was fond of. “I hadn’t actually met anyone like her before. I was so young, and Edinburgh is a bit of a bubble and quite protected, so when I came here and met her she really just changed the way I think. Like now I’m not as scared to go and do things. It was big step for me to come down here [for

“All I could think about was: ‘Is this real?’ You never, ever think something like this could happen to you or your best friends. We are young and invincible!” come home right now.’ It seemed like the longest night ever, and then I had to call Charlie.” Ben Hughes was one of those people out in town that Zoe was trying to contact. “I was DJing at Koos and all our friends were out that night and quite drunk. “Then people started finding out different things bit-by-bit. It was about three o’clock in the morning and we were all really drunk and hearing loads of mixed messages. There was general disbelief and people started going home but I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it.” Just a few hours before, early in the morning of 17 September on a road outside of Rabat, a car collided with an oncoming vehicle. Law student Pippa Darlington and her older sister Tara, a Goldsmiths University student, lost their lives. Their friend Joshua Stump was seriously injured and in a coma. “Out of everyone, I feel for her little brother the most,” said Charlie. “He’s 16-years-old and he’s lost his two older sisters; two great inspirations and role models.” Ben added: “Her parents were coping with it so well, just so positive. That family, they are just so nice.” “When you meet her family you get to realise that they are just the most caring people in the world,” said Charlie. Their family isn’t just their family. Every time I’ve spoken to Pippa there are always people staying at their house. Mates, friends of friends, always people staying. They’re very generous with their time.” Pippa and Tara’s funeral was held in the scenic Wiltshire village of Whiteparish. “It was perfect, just people flooding into the church. It was amazing to see how many people’s lives had been touched by

university] but now I’m more willing to go abroad and travel.” Charlie described meeting Pippa just after Freshers’ Week. “I suppose that’s what I had in common with her when I first met her, we just clicked. The main topic of conversation was the places we’d been to and countries we’d visited. The cool shit we’d done there, the crazy shit we’d done there. She was a beautifully wild soul.” He continued: “There was a morning in first year when her mate Paddy came up to stay and found us asleep in Pippa’s front room in Windsor Terrace. We were laying “She had a on the floor and secret account, had literally just the whole time fallen asleep talkshe had a sav- ing about putting things right with ings account the world, creatso when she ing our vision about the purpose said she had no money, she of life and that’s I liked her had no money why and her friends so in her normal much, we all had account but a lot in common.” she was always The three flatmates recalled putting away how dedicated some money Pippa was in into her savfunding her adventures abroad. ings” Ben said: “She would work like five jobs and save up money and plan then go do all these big things.” Charlie added: “The jobs she did were nannying, catering, working in a pub, anything that was going she would just take it. They weren’t formal jobs, just lots of odd jobs.” He further explained: “She had a secret account, the whole time she had a

savings account so when she said she had no money, she had no money in her normal account but she was always putting away some money into her savings. “Whatever happened she’d always be putting some money in it and even when she was flat broke she would never touch the money in that account. “And it shows one of the most beautiful things about her. She had such amazing strength and determination. I use it now, to get through things that are tough. Like coming to terms with her passing so soon into our, what would have been, lifelong friendship.” Zoe described Pippa’s passion for travelling: “She loved road trips, her and her sister drove all the way to Africa. She was just working constantly to get the money to go. It was all about the adventure and not knowing exactly what you were going to do.” Charlie added: “Last summer they drove round Europe and went to Croatia. But because they’d make up where they were roughly going as they went along, she’d drive around Europe. She was care-free, chasing the Sun. Elaborating, Zoe said: “She always wanted to be exploring and discovering things, she was open minded to things and wanted to broaden her horizons and experience things. “She didn’t like sitting about and doing nothing, if we were having a lazy day she’d go out to the shops or do something, she just had to do something with her day.” “She’d rarely just mooch around, she was always creating unique plans to go have fun,” Charlie added. “Unless the weather is like it is today, really dreary and rainy. Then in her onesie she’d just sit in the front room and not move, she’d smoke and drink her red wine, watch films and chill. We all had great fun on those kind of days.” The three also went on to describe how they coped with the initial news. Charlie, also a Law student, had been living and working on a Mozambican island. “I’d been having the time of my life,” he said. “It was an amazing summer and just confirmed for me so many things that I’d been questioning. Just thinking about life and what the point of it is and what I want out of it. It was just a massively soul searching summer, thinking about my future and where I want to go with my career. It was all highs after such a great summer, then massive lows after such horrible news. “You have work out how to handle it, it doesn’t come naturally, you don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to cry, part of me wants to hit something, part of me wants to go hide in a hole, part of me wants to be positive and be strong and you’re like: ‘How the hell do you this.’ And you’re also thinking about how she would want us to handle her death.” Ben added: “Yeah if she’s looking down on us she wouldn’t want us to be crying or crawling in a hole or going mental or getting drunk in a destructive way.” Charlie continued: “Because everyone else had found out together and I’d found out on my own in an airport, I didn’t come back for Freshers’ Week.

“She always had these little notes around. I remember this one which said: ‘Never frown, you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.’ Yeah, I thought that was a good one.”

“She would work like five jobs and save up money and plan then go and do all these amazing adventures abroad.”

“Seriously, I had convinced her to become a spy! I swear she did more research into joining MI5 than I have on my dissertation.”

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

“I found one of these little pieces of paper that she’d written to me in first year and it said: ‘Dream like you’ll live forever, live like you’ll die tomorrow.’ And that really hits it on the head.”

I just couldn’t handle the prospect of everyone coming up to me and asking how I felt. And when I did come back I just got savagely pissed and basically just went home crying after most nights out. But then I stopped all that because I was starting to accept it and knew she was watching.” Zoe said: “She was my very first friend at university, I lived with her in first year in Windsor Terrace and I’ve never had a time here where I’ve not known, not had her around me every day. So now it’s the weirdest thing, there’s a massive gap in my day, we’d do everything together both in first year and now as the only two girls in the house. It’s the little things that remind you of her.” “It’s like everyday you’re just waiting for her to jump out from round the corner. But then some days you just know she won’t,” added Charlie. The three also explained how Pippa’s presence was particularly missed in certain parts of the day. Charlie said: “You’re on a night out and you’re almost about to think: ‘Where’s Pippa?’ Then you realise and you’re like: ‘Oh fuck.’ Or if I’m off to a lecture and it’s the same thing.” “Things that we’d do together like at dinner parties or also on a night out,” said Zoe. “I’m massively like the baby in the group and sometimes have trouble functioning in big groups and it’s just so weird not having her there.” Asked how Pippa’s passing has impacted the dynamic in the house, Charlie said: “It’s not that it is the ‘elephant in the room’ but more like the roof is missing.” Ben said: “We’re more open about it now but at the beginning it’s like you don’t want to trigger something bad.” Zoe added: “Yeah like when I was having an upset moment I would just have to take myself away because I just couldn’t handle sitting, looking at people getting upset about it.” “At the beginning we’d always stick to-

gether in a big group and that was good, to have the company, because as soon as you were on your own you started thinking [about her],” said Ben. “It’s the hardest way to learn a lesson but everyone is appreciating everyone so much and starting to really value their friends,” added Zoe. Charlie elaborated, saying: “It sounds a bit silly but when a martyr dies, when something so bad happens to someone so good, the knock-on effect is so positive because it was such a bad thing. “So many people who we didn’t know well, we’ve got to know so much better because it’s brought us all so much clos-

They also reminisced about Pippa’s fondness for maxims and mottos. Zoe recalled: “I was looking through my room and Pippa and I would often write little notes to each other and I found one of these little pieces of paper that she’d written to me in first year and it said: ‘Dream like you’ll live forever, live like you’ll die tomorrow.’ And that really fucking hits it on the head. It gave me chills because she already had that attitude before we had to learn this lesson to get it.” Charlie added: “She always had those little kind of notes around. I remember this other which said: ‘Never frown, you

er. And it’s changed our lives so much as well in the way that we don’t think about the silly little things. “In the house that what I’ve noticed the most, there’s no squabbling over silly things, we’ve gelled so much, working together because we’re all going through the same shit. You don’t feel alone because, like Zoe said, you want to go away alone because I hate rubbing my shit moods off on other people and no one makes you feel weird about it. Everyone’s so supportive and that’s a really nice thing.” Describing what lessons they’ve learnt from Pippa’s life and how they are incorporating them into their own, Charlie explained: “The way we’ve changed as people as well is obvious, more confidence and doing what we want to do.” Zoe added: “Yeah basically we’ve got the attitude now of: ‘Let’s just fucking do it.’ If you’re being pathetic or lazy it’s like: ‘Stop being such a fucking idiot and just go do it.’”

never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.’ Yeah, I thought that was a good one. And even with the ‘live like it’s your last day’ one Pippa put a new perspective on that for me. “Instead of ‘live this day to make it your last’, it became ‘live this day to not make it your last.’ This year, with this happening and being in Africa over the summer, and my Dad being diagnosed with terminal cancer, all my priorities have shifted. Now I’m pushing all that stuff into my past and I don’t regret it. I’ve smashed it hard and had a great time but I’m moving forwards now.” To heartfelt laughter, Ben responded with: “Oh, well I am glad.” With chuckles, Charlie said: “Of course there will still be those days but I care about things that I just didn’t think were important to me before. I’m doing my degree properly, going to most of my lectures and my room is tidy. Like now we actually feel naughty when we miss lectures.”

When you don’t feel like doing work or going to lectures you just think: ‘What would Pippa do?’ And you know she’d be straight up and doing it.”

Ben said: “Yeah like last year we just wouldn’t even care, we wouldn’t even ask each other if we’d been to lectures.” Charlie added: “Yeah because we knew no one had been except for Pippa.” Zoe said: “Yeah, you’d do nothing for two or three weeks and walk into a lecture theatre feeling like a foreigner.” Asked if he shared the same sentiment as Charlie about prioritising his degree, Ben said: “Well basically I just had a mad first year and had to deal with that last year by doing resits but I’d always planned on getting my head down at some point. “But this really gives you that extra drive because when you don’t feel like doing work or going to lectures you just think: ‘What would Pippa do?’ And you know she’d be straight up and doing it.” He continued: “I was really looking forward to the structure at uni when it started again because it was killing me, actually killing me. Going out every night, the lack of sleep. Now the structure is there I know I have to these things, I have to do those things. It makes you feel better, just keeping busy and not doing nothing during the day and going out at night.” Charlie added: “Deep down we all know where the work-play balance is so it’s not that we’re trying to find it now but giving ourselves the motivation to do it because, at the end of the day, the only person that can motivate you is yourself. So now it’s like you’ve got her as motivation as well because you’re doing it for her as well as yourself.” Asked if they felt as though they were now living for her too, Zoe said: “Absolutely, like we all know she would have come out with a sick degree because she was one of those types of people who would not stop until where she needed to be in life, where she wanted to be.” Recalling fondly, Charlie explained how they had both discussed where a law degree could take them. “She was convinced that she had to be some kind

of city lawyer and I was convinced that I had to be everything that wasn’t. So I put it in her head that she could be a spy.” Eliciting much laughter, he explained: “Seriously, I had convinced her to become an MI5 spy. Genuinely, she started looking shit up and found out all about the interview procedure and I swear she did more research on that than I have on my dissertation.” To more giggling, he added: “That would have been hilarious, Pippa as a spy. A good spy “That would though because have been you’d never think hilarious, she was one but Pippa as a she would have had an easy time spy. A good getting close to spy though and finding because you’d you everything out.” never think she Asked if she was one but was a good liar, she would have typically seen as a useful skill for had an easy the job, they all time getting laughed back: close to you “No, not at all.” Charlie said: and finding d be lying to everything out.” “She’ you and you’d see her face and just totally give it away. She was too nice, too honest, she couldn’t lie.” Zoe added: “Not that she needed to cover anything up, she’s an honest, straight talking person. She was completely unique, a one-off person. You’ll never find anyone like her, not even close.”

Affected by a similar issue? Speak to someone at the Student Advice Centre in the SU or King’s Gate Level 1

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

University leads quest into the deep sea Newcastle University is to lead a national research centre for subsea and offshore engineering. The Neptune National Centre will see the development of new materials and technologies capable of withstanding one of the world’s harshest environments, paving the way for a quest to harness the ocean’s potential as a source of food, energy and medicine. The centre will be built on the north bank of River Tyne and will be part-

This cutting edge new facility will drive up skills and develop the innovations needed to fuel growth in the North Sea.” Project lead Professor Nick Wright, Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Research and Innovation at Newcastle University said: “Newcastle University has a long tradition of applied engineering research focused on the marine sector – reflecting the history and tradition of both the University and the NE region. “This new national centre will act as a place for industry and academia to interact, providing crucial infrastructure for emerging research opportunities.

funded through the Higher Education Funding Council for England (HEFCE) from the Catalyst Fund and matched with funding from Newcastle University and the private sector. Also supported by Newcastle City Council, it includes plans for unique Hyperbaric Chamber and environmental Test facilities - capable of testing technologies and materials at temperatures and pressures equivalent to those found at the very deepest ocean depths. Business Secretary Vince Cable, who unveiled the centre, hailed it a key part of the government’s oil and gas strategy. He said: “The UK’s oil and gas sector is crucial to the economy. Its future success relies on it being underpinned by the latest science and technology.

It will also provide a unique training ground for highly skilled graduates, addressing key skill shortages currently faced by UK industry.” Professor David Delpy, Chief Executive of the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC) said: “We are confident that research at the centre will have impact within academia and industry and that collaborative work with other institutions will bring even wider benefits.” The Neptune Centre already has the backing of leading UK companies. These include Shepherd Offshore, BEL Valves and SMD. It is hoped that the presence of the centre will bring jobs and investment to the North East.

By Zhenhua Jin

It is hoped that the presence of the centre will bring jobs and investment to the North East


The Neptune National Centre will be built on the north bank of the Tyne, and will be part of the government’s drive to improve oil and gas sources Image: Pickersgill Reef

“Feedback from clubs has been very positive” continued from page 1 “Today, as we have since the early 1990s, the company takes an active role to promote and enforce workplace standards, based on International Labor Organization’s core labor rights conventions, which protect and improve worker experiences. “ More specific concerns involve the dealings between Adidas and PT Kizone, an Indonesian factory that was closed in 2010. Adidas responded: “The central fact remains that the PT Kizone factory was unethically closed and abandoned by its owner, not by the Adidas Group, and this occurred more than six months after we placed our last order with them. “Although the Adidas Group had no business relationship with PT Kizone at the time of its closure, we do care deeply about the situation facing the former PT Kizone workers and their families and have taken steps to assist these workers. “We have directly given $525,000 in humanitarian aid to the former workers and their families, provided job placement services and advocated for the workers, dedicating more resources to the former workers than any other brand.” On the ethical issues surrounding Adidas, Laura Mason stated: “Due diligence has been done as part of the process to arrive at this deal and the Students’ Union is happy with the ethical standards Adidas adheres to. Some publicised concerns regarding the ethical nature of this partnership have been unfounded and factually inaccurate. I would ask that people make up their own minds using information available on the Adidas sustainability website.” Simon Gerry, Chief Executive of the Students’ Union, further addressed these issues: “There are specific [ethical] reasons that people came up with, so we

took the issues to Adidas to question them before the contract was signed. The ethical issues were brought up, we have looked into them, and we are happy with the responses given. “We feel reassured that having sat in front of the Olympic committee to explain how Adidas works, there are a set of ethical standards that they work to.” A clause has also been written into the contract with the Union about the ethical standards they will stick to during the partnership. Motions have been brought to Student Council in the past, critiquing the ethical profiles of corporations such as Nestlé and Starbucks. Criticism has also come from the alleged concealment of the deal, as Adidas asked all students present at the meeting on February 7 to keep the deal secret. One student said they felt the University were “being disingenuous. Why would they not want those who have heard about the deal tonight to tell anyone?” Simon Gerry told The Courier that the secrecy that some students have accused is due to the marketing strategy of Adidas, who want to keep the main launch until September 2013. He said, “It’s all about Adidas’ marketing and how they want to build it. “If we’re not transparent now and tell people what’s happening, then people will just guess the rest.” The deal was finalised and signed on April 11, after two years of discussions. 93 sport-participating students were asked initially whether a deal with a corporation would benefit them, and the results were positive. Focus groups of students were then set up to discuss a potential partnership, and 532 students from stages 1 and 2 responded to a survey about a collaboration with a sportswear brand.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Jesmond cash point trap By Susie Beever News Editor Police are warning local residents in the Jesmond area of Newcastle, after a ‘skimming device’ was found on a cash machine. The device was found on Sunday 7th April on a cash machine on Acorn Road, near the Tesco Metro in Jesmond. The skimming device was found attached to the cash dispenser slot and was used to trap cash inside the machine. Police have asked ATM users to be on their guard after being alerted of the device on Acorn Road. Newcastle East Neighbourhood Inspector Deborah Alderson said: “We

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer)- Back End Web Development Employer: Cloud Data Service Closing date: 28.04.2013 Salary: £1200 bursary Basic job description: Newcastle Work Experience (NWE) is a summer work experience programme providing current and graduating Newcastle University students with the opportunity to undertake challenging projects within North East businesses. This is a 10 week part-time role. Cloud Data Service Ltd is an award-winning software development company based in the heart of Newcastle upon Tyne. We specialise in ‘Software as a Service’ data solutions for the web and have worked with a range of different clients to deliver powerful and bespoke products. We are seeking a student with back end software development. Person requirements: Experience and competent skills sets in: xHTML, CSS, object orientated PHP (version 5+) MySQL. Preferable Skills; Familiarity with CodeIgniter or other similar PHP frameworks, agile development, extreme programming and/or the Scrum project management framework. Good knowledge of the jQuery library & a solid understanding of Javascript would also be an advantage. Bonus Skills include: HTML5, CSS3, Linux Server Management and Web Services development using technologies such as SOAP. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) - CRM Application Developer Employer: PrismTech Limited Closing date: 28.04.2013 Salary: £2400 bursary Basic job description: This placement is for 10 weeks full time to take place between May and September. PrismTech is an acknowledged leader in performancecritical middleware and related services. We’re seeking an individual to support us with the following: Development of applications to support the company’s business activities; Creation of a web-based application providing access to the Company’s CRM system ( The application will be based on an existing PrismTech tool and will provide enhancements to enable display or modification of product information and information related to sales opportunities and contacts. The development will provide an opportunity to work with application servers and cloudbased systems. Person requirements: You must have strong Java skills with solid knowledge of website development, especially HTML. You should possess a good understanding of relational database technology with some knowledge of application servers and Java Server Pages Previous experience in Web Services technology and an excellent knowledge of software development processes is desirable. Those with an interest in new technology and ability to learn quickly are encouraged to apply. Location: Gateshead. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) - Festival Coordinator Employer: ¡VAMOS! Festival Closing date: 28.04.2013 Salary: £1200 bursary Basic job description: The ¡VAMOS! Festival celebrates Spanish and Portuguese speaking cultures in NewcastleGateshead. ¡VAMOS! combines cuisine, art, film, theatre, dance, music, literature, fashion, sport and education. The successful applicant will provide administrative support to the festival directors and contribute to the smooth delivery of the festival. Duties to include: Provide support to the co-directors, staff and volunteers as required; Management of festival student teams and volunteers; Offer specific event support performances as required; Provide administrative support in meetings as required; Support as required for the promotion and PR of the festival; Maintain the website, social networking; Accept responsibility for appropriate behaviour regarding Health & Safety, Equality

need everyone to be aware of these type of devices and to take steps to help protect themselves and their bank details. “We need need everyone to be to“People be extra vigiaware of these lant when using devices and to cash machines and take general take steps to precautions inhelp protect cluding making themselves sure they cover and their bank the keypad when entering their pin details.” and taking extra care when putting their card into the machine. ”Before using a cashpoint take a look at the machine for anything that doesn’t

and Diversity, fair treatment of others and maintenance of high levels of customer service, as well as compliance with appropriate policies; Post festival evaluation,; Undertake routine office duties. Person requirements: The successful candidate should be comfortable working unassisted at times. You must be self motivated and meticulous in your work, reliable and professional. Experience of or interest in the cultural sector - in particular events planning and delivery. Ideally the candidate should have: An interest in Spanish, Portuguese and / or Latin American culture; Enthusiasm for new experiences, art forms and audiences; Good organisational and people skills; Flexible and proactive attitude. You must be confident in the use of all social media channels. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Term-time) - Sales and Recruitment Assistant Employer: CC Creative Workshops Closing date: 28.04.2013 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: CC-Creative Workshops is an organisation that works primarily in the creative industries and education sector. The organisation writes, designs and delivers innovative educational projects throughout the North East region. Our most well known to date being ‘This is Creative Enterprise’ (TICE). TICE is a three tier programme consisting of Bronze, Silver & Gold stages. It is designed to give young students (Year 9 & 10) a real insight, broaden knowledge and gain an understanding of the creative industries. We are currently seeking an individual to support the recruitment of schools onto this programme. You will also assist with marketing and promotional aspects of the business, but predominantly the sales and recruitment side of the organisation. The successful candidate must be available throughout the academic year in line with school term times. Person requirements: The most ideal candidate will hold previous experience and confidence in sales and marketing. An interest in creative education and the creative sector along with experience working in education is desirable. You must be able to work independently, flexibly and attend regular team meetings. The candidate will be fully supported and trained for this role. Strong communication skills with an excellent telephone manner is required. E-marketing experience and updating websites is also desired. Location: North Shields. Job Title: Commercial Staff (Variable Hours) Employer: Newcastle University Students’ Union Closing date: 31.05.2013 Salary: £6.94 per hour including holiday pay Basic job description: The Students’ Union at Newcastle University is seeking to recruit commercial staff to serve customers in the Students’ Union development for the next academic year, starting in September 2013. Duties to include working throughout all commercial and service areas and will include cash handling. Person requirements: Experience preferred but not essential. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Food and Beverage Team Member Employer: Holiday Inn Closing date: 04.05.2013 Salary: To be confirmed Basic job description: A Food and Beverage Team Member is required to work 16 hours per week at the Holiday Inn in Washington. As a member of the Food and Beverage team, you will ensure that all guests are served to the company brand standards in our Restaurant, Bar and Lounge areas. You will ensure that the highest standards of hospitality and welcome are demonstrated at all times within all food and beverage areas. You must also maintain high standards of cleanliness in the food and beverage areas and you may also assist in conference and

look right or anything that looks like it shouldn’t be there. If in doubt then don’t use the machine and report it to bank staff or police. “Anyone who thinks a machine has been tampered with in any way should alert the bank or store as soon as possible. They should also report if they see anyone acting suspiciously around a cash machine.” Alderson added that: “Enquiries are ongoing into this incident and anyone with any information is asked to contact police.” Anyone with information on the Acorn Road device is urged to contact Northumbria Police on 101.

banqueting if required. Person requirements: The successful Food and Beverage Team Member must be able to demonstrate that they can communicate effectively, carry out instructions and be able to pay close attention to detail. The successful candidate will also ideally have previous experience of working in a restaurant or bar environment. Hotel experience is advantageous, as is a Basic Food Hygiene Certificate. Location: Sunderland. Job Title: Stewards Employer: BBC Closing date: 10.05.2013 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: We are looking for pro-active and hardworking stewards to support a BBC programme called Flog It! This is an ideal opportunity for students who want to make a head start in television and see what happens on a typical day’s filming for the BBC. Person requirements: You should possess an interest in a career in media, TV or film. You should be available from 08.00am - 18.00pm on Saturday 25 May and be able to make your own way to and from the venue. We will provide lunch and refreshments. You will be offered a Casual Contract and paid the minimum wage according to your age – you must be over 18 to apply and have the legal right to work in the UK. You must also have a current passport OR full birth certificate with NI Card/P45/P60 for registration purposes. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Clothing Assistant Employer: Tesco Closing date: 23.04.2013 Salary: To be confirmed Basic job description: A Clothing Assistant is required to work 18 hours per week at the Tesco in Gateshead. Clothing assistants are working away to make sure customers get exactly what they want, with a passion for fashion and offering advice, you will play a big part in delivering ‘Every Little Helps’. Person requirements: You are always helpful and friendly to customers and colleagues. Someone who is able to work well in a team, and has a positive approach to helping and supporting colleagues no matter how challenging. You always perform in your job role. Someone who is committed and makes every effort to do a good job for themselves, their department, and their store. You are always willing to support your store. Someone who is reliable and turns up to work on time, is smart and tidy and who is ready to roll their sleeves up and get stuck in where ever they are needed. Location: Gateshead. Job Title: Customer Service Advisor Employer: Santander UK Closing date: 26.04.2013 Salary: Up to £14,999 Basic job description: A part-time Customer Service Advisor is required to work 17.5 hours per week for a Santander branch in Sunderland. We want to change the way we speak to our high street customers. We want to make things simpler and clearer, and we’re aiming to lead the industry for helpfulness and service. Which is why we’ll need you to make a real connection with customers - listening to their needs, exploring their aspirations, and explaining exactly how we can help. You’ll promote and sell everything from mortgages and loans to savings opportunities too. Person requirements: Our teams describe working in a branch as being fast-paced and fun – a great place to come to work. Our part-time workforce is an important factor in the success of our close-knit teams – perfect if you’re looking for a role where your contribution will be valued. Location: Sunderland.

Society blamed for segregation

Puppy love calms manic students

University of Leicester

University of Aberdeen

The University of Leicester are investigating claims that their Islamic Society segregated seating at a public debate in February, after photographs surfaced of signs directing ‘brothers’ to one section and ‘sisters’ to another. The debate entitled ‘Does God Exist?’ was lead by Hamza Tzortzis from the Islamic Education and Research Academy, who was involved in a similar controversy at a debate in University College London. Other speakers at the UCL debate refused to participate after single women were forced to sit at the back, while men and couples sat at the front. UCL subsequently banned the IERA from their events. A spokesperson for the University of Leicester said people could choose to ignore the seating signs, but they “will investigate whether entrances to the hall for this event were segregated by the Society and will ensure there is no recurrence of this.” An IERA spokesperson claimed the controversy was “a storm in a teacup.”

The welfare team at Aberdeen University have devised a number of unusual ways to relieve students’ stress during the exam period – including puppy therapy. The Students’ Union have teamed up with Guide Dogs Scotland to set up rooms on campus where students can play with trainee Guide Dog puppies. The therapy rooms were inspired by “a huge amount of positive feedback from students regarding a similar initiative at a Canadian university last year.” The feedback has been corroborated by a report from Hiroshima University in Japan which showed that photographs of ‘cute’ animals not only alleviated stress but helped students concentrate. Emma Calen, president of AUSU said “We got a really positive reaction [...] from both the guide dogs and the students, it really chilled them out.” The puppy therapy rooms will be offered on four dates in May, as well as free apples and smoothies, massages in the library, yoga and a health walk.

Protestors defy court injunction

Principle claims cheap degrees

University of Sussex

University of St. Andrews

Sussex students have defied a High Court injunction by organising a ‘flash’ protest on campus on 16th April. Before Easter, Sussex Against Privatisation (SAP) staged a 54-day peaceful protest against the university’s plans to privatise catering facilities on site. However, the High Court ruled that students could not protest without the University’s permission. A spokesperson for SAP said “This flash occupation demonstrates that we are not afraid to take action in support of our services. We will not be intimidated by management’s cowardly injunctions and attempts to stifle protest on campus. The students garnered national support, including a tweet from the evervocal Frankie Boyle: “Hats off to everybody at @occupy_sussex !”

Principle of St. Andrews University, Louie Richardson has claimed that £9000 year is “very little to pay” for tuition. She said: “Right now in our classrooms we have kids paying nothing, kids paying £9,000 and international students paying significantly more and we should be treating those differently?” She added: “I don’t think because some students are paying fees we should start treating them somehow as if they are customers. That’s the marketisation of education and it’s corrosive.” The head of NUS Scotland responded: “It’s a bit rich, coming from the head of a university with such an abysmal record of recruiting students from the poorest backgrounds, that £9000 degrees are in fact a bargain.”

Images: erjkprunczýk and justmakeit

Elizabeth Archer

10.comment 3 reasons why...

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

The war on drugs

Is government drugs policy pursuing the right aims? Aaron Hedjazi discusses’s good to have Daft Punk why he thinks legislation needs to focus on different areas to be more effective back... 1) They’re crowd pleasers


Back in 2001, Daft Punk released the album Discovery, driving singles like ‘One More Time’, and ‘Harder Better Faster Stronger’ up the charts and into the clubs. Many that don’t recognize the names will surely recognize the catchy auto-tune and regular rhythms of some of Daft Punks greatest hits. The tracks aren’t just for lovers of dance music; these crowd-pleasers are known and loved by all.

2) They provide a live dance show Constantly slated for their apparent lack of music ingenuity, sitting at the laptop and pressing buttons, DJs don’t get the credit they deserve. Not helped by Fat Boy Slim’s fist pumping, Deadmau5’s ridiculous helmet, or the generic head bobbing by everyone else, dance music needs graphic stimulation. Visuals like Etienne De Crecy’s psychedelic glowing cube, James Blake’s live recording, and - most importantly - Daft Punk’s famous light up pyramid really gets the crowd interested.

3) They provide a new genre of music The French duo was some of the original inspiration for electrohouse (yes I hate the music classifications too), concerning the likes of Justice and Simian Mobile Disco. Whilst the scene seemed to disintegrate into popular anthems from Calvin Harris and the Klaxons, the genre in the mainstream disappeared. However, the dance duo are back with a twist, collaborating with a variety of musicians including Chilli Gonzales and Pharrell Williams, to give Random Access Memories a new 80s sound. Be excited.

Jess Fisher


he “War on Drugs” was coined under the Nixon administration in 1970s USA to brand drug abuse as “public enemy number one”. Now in the present day, the UK and US still continue to be the main advocators of the War on Drugs. It’s quite evident that this is a futile “war”, and it begs the question as to why the war was waged primarily on drugs in the first place, as opposed to other matters like poverty and social disorganisation. Successive governments have continued to use drug abuse as a scapegoat for socio-economic problems, however, given hard drug addicts are in the minority; this blatantly shows that most drug use is recreational. On top of this, we allow the use of one very popular drug, known as alcohol. Former government drugs advisor, Professor David Nutt published the scientific paper “The Lancet” based on hard evidence which listed the top 20 most dangerous drugs, weighed up on the harm they cause to the user and society. To the surprise of many, alcohol

scored number one by far on this list, with tobacco trailing not far behind. Cannabis lagged behind these two, with more “controversial” drugs like Ecstasy and LSD appearing near the bottom of the table.

“Successive governments have continued to use drug abuse as a scape goat for socio-economic problems”

An astonishing figure is that there are approximately 33,000 deaths directly related to alcohol in the UK every year, but do you know how many deaths are directly related to cannabis? The answer is 0. Prohibition is basically impractical, since this just produces a billionaire shadow economy, which creates a vacuity for organised crime to emerge.

The implementation of a “soft drugs” policy, like in the Netherlands, would massively reduce the prison population

“At least if a drug were legalised, then would-be users wouldn’t have to resort to buying dirty substances”

and allow police to focus more on hard drugs like heroin and methamphetamine that are responsible for the social breakdown in society, not drugs that are largely used for recreational purposes like cannabis and ecstasy. Professor Nutt stated that young people like to experiment with drugs, and prohibition is a weak disincentive toward this. At least if a drug were legalised, then would-be users wouldn’t have to resort to buying dirty substances from dealers, and could at least know

exactly what they are buying: a model that fits perfectly with the regulation of alcohol. In the process, this would generate a new business that would create countless new jobs and astronomical amounts of government revenue. This goes to show that the “War on Drugs” is made up of political rhetoric and propaganda, and another “enemy” that the West can flex its muscles at; be it Communism, drugs or terrorism. Few politicians will admit that the War on Drugs has failed, whereas many prominent figures such as Richard Branson and the former heads of the BBC, CPS and MI5 have all acknowledged that it has failed. Perceptibly, no drugs have an overriding positive effect on your body, and legalisation will not push society into any sort of “Golden era”, but it is merely a better alternative to prohibition which causes more harm than good.

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Could Twitter deny you a status update?

After Britain’s first youth crime commissioner resigned as a result of tweets written years ago, Sabine Kucher asks if our internet history can demonstrate our suitability for a job SABINE KUCHER


ent youth crime commissioner Paris Brown quit after less than one week in office after The Daily Mail dug up offensive tweets she made years ago. Aside from the hypocrisy of The Mail calling someone out for trashing a pizza delivery man whose English wasn’t perfect (I mean come on, if any paper hates on immigrant ‘scroungers’ it’s The Daily Mail) the scandal also begs the question: can we judge someone on their past actions? Before we get into that: What did the 17-year old actually tweet about? Fancying a hash brownie, sexual innuendo, accusing Travellers of stealing train tracks (and swearing about them), her brother beating up some other kid (and swearing about it) as well as not being very nice about other minorities by calling everyone in Chelsea a fag. Essentially, she is not taking up the job because she did what every other teenager in the UK does: she was young and stupid. Years ago when the Internet wasn’t around, all those mistakes you make when you’re young didn’t matter – people just wouldn’t hear about them. But in the era of the Internet, some-

thing you have posted once stays out there. Paris Brown’s tweets will now stain her record forever, even though she may have learnt from her mistakes,

“The high volume, low price philosophy has made it all too easy to ditch responsibility”

might have grown up and seen the errors her 14-year-old self had made. Because unfortunately, we live in a society that doesn’t believe in second chances. Once a criminal, always a criminal and with the intense scrutiny that the media put her under, Paris Brown will always be the bad guy. Just like Chuka Umunna, a Labour MP who six years ago tweeted that none of the clubs in London were good enough for his taste, earning him a reputation as a champagne socialist. But neither of their tweets actually say anything about how good they are at their jobs. In fact, in Paris Brown’s case she might actually just be the person Kent police are looking for: loud,

out spoken, well connected. She is the type of person teenagers would listen to and who could provide a unique insight into youth delinquency in Kent. Besides, even if her views were of paramount importance, who is to say that she wouldn’t have changed working with the police? Before the job offer she might have called them ‘pigs’ in the street, but when you work closely with someone and learn to empathise, it’s a game changer.

“Are there any jobs full stop should be the initial worry” More was lost than just Paris Brown’s image. Her position was the first of its kind to be created in the UK as part of a pilot project and now this project is set to die. For one, no other police force will be willing to take such a risk again. But more importantly, who will wish to take up such a post again? I can assure you it’s not a teenager that could provide some real insight into youth crime. Would you want your past record splashed across the front page if it’s less than perfect? No, and neither will anyone else. So if Kent police decides

to keep the project (and that’s a big if) they will just get a public school kid who is about as out-of-touch with his ASBO-getting and crime-committing peers as my grandmother (bless her, she’s lovely). Bottom line: This project was a chance to engage with a disenfranchised, hardto-reach section of society and to hear their problems, but it was shambles allround because nobody took care to advise Paris Brown and because we don’t believe in second chances. We should.

What are your thoughts? Tweet the Comment section (appropriately) at @couriercomment

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013


Comment Editors: Georgina Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor: Jennifer Evans | @Courier_Comment


Do young people have a mandate to protest about Thatcher’s legacy? Image: Jacob Munk-Stander (Wikimedia)

Can you legitimately protest about something that happened before you were born? JOHNNY FARRARBELL


really wish I was alive in the 1970s to protest against the building of the Harrow campus of the University of Westminster. It is a monstrosity of a building, with nothing to catch the eye in its bland brick and glass rectangular form. Nothing of any architectural merit can be garnered. In fact it is almost a literal eyesore. What might be a scenic view of suburban Middlesex stretching to the yonder hills of Hampstead and the ‘Ally Pally’ (Alexandra Palace Exhibition Centre) has been marred at the stroke of an incompetent designer’s pencil. But hang on a minute . . . it was built before I was born, surely I have no right to be angry let alone contemplate a lonesome protest outside Harrow Council’s equally grim offices. The same argument has been used by politicians, shocked that those who were not alive, or at least politically unaware at the time, can have the cheek to protest against Margaret Thatcher in the wake of her death. ‘These people don’t know what it was like’, the argument goes, and ‘they cannot have any right to protest against something they know nothing of first hand.’ Indeed much of what has gone

on, particularly the ding-dong-gate affair, has been frankly distasteful and sordid but it does not mean to say that people cannot legitimately protest against something even if they were not alive at the time of its enacting. Whilst I disagree with the loony left and am an admirer of Thatcher, the reasons behind their protests strike a chord with my rage against the architectural carbuncles of North West London. The fact is, decisions taken years – nay decades – ago, have an impact on us today. Just as the brick, glass and concrete edifice built in the 1970s still towers like a wart over the Harrow landscape, so

“The fact is, decisions taken years - nay decades - ago, have an impact on us today.”

the effect of Thatcher’s policies (negative the protesters would argue) can still be felt today. ‘Sure, we weren’t alive at the time’, protesters would say, ‘but decisions made by her – before we were born – impact us now.’ Many of the young people in the areas around Newcastle and Durham would echo this, arguing that they have been adversely affected by the closure of pits, docks and shipyards in the Thatcher era.

They most probably weren’t alive but surely at least some have enough political understanding to still rightly feel aggrieved. The real question that should be answered, therefore, in the light of Lady Thatcher’s death, is not the legitimacy of protesting if one wasn’t alive when she was PM, but whether it is justified to protest about someone once they have died. This is where I believe it is much harder to gain any kind of legitimacy. Above-all, it is hard to see the point, as one can achieve little save looking like a cold-hearted oddball. Celebrating or protesting at someone’s death – save tyrants and dictators in the Ceausescu/ Hitler mould – is surely something that can have no moral justification and it is the real sadness to come out of this sorry affair.

boycott the news altogether. I found it absolutely disgraceful that my Facebook, with a good 90% of people being born in the ‘90s, had so much to say about her when they hadn’t actually been conceived during her time as PM.


I don’t know where they got their information from, presumably from the same place as myself, our parents and their friends and colleagues since they sure weren’t around to experience life in the ‘80s themselves. Now then, based on this second hand information it begs the question: how qualified are you to actually comment? Growing up on my council estate in Leeds conversation actually turned to Thatcher quite often around the dinner table because, if anything, we like a good debate and we like to wind my step-dad up. Regardless of my own or my family’s political opinions, I was exposed to debate about Thatcher and her policies during the ‘90s and onwards so in terms of second hand knowledge I think I know enough to say I don’t know enough to comment. So in a


or the past two weeks I’ve seen a considerable amount of Tweets and Facebook status’ regarding the death of Margaret Thatcher. I, on the other hand, have kept quiet... until now. I personally didn’t comment on the death of Margaret Thatcher for a number of reasons: firstly, I didn’t feel qualified, and secondly I was so disgusted with the things I did read that I tried to

“Based on second hand information, how qualified are you to actually comment?”

family of debaters I learnt very early on not to start an argument on a topic you don’t understand, or on the basis of purely ignorant claims, not only do you look like a fish out of water but also your bluff is often called and humiliation sets in. People get on their soapboxes about all sorts of oddities, and while freedom of speech and being able to express yourself are both wonderful things – I do believe if you are to comment on another individual it should be well informed and you know…not just slanderous. Comments I have read by my peers have been disrespectful to the diseased and furthermore have been ill informed, ill executed and insensitive. Perhaps this only highlights the youth of these commentators, which is precisely the point of this article. I believe the people who are most qualified to comment on and hold strong opinions about Thatcher are those that lived and experienced life in the Eighties. That is not to say the next generation cannot have an opinion on her – by all means do, but perhaps make it an informed opinion and if you cannot repress your opinion at a time of loss and sadness to a great many people including her family, then I hope you are able to articulate your opinion with insight and respect as the bare minimum.

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Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Nicolas Maduro wins Venezuelan elections

Hermit found to live in a wood for 27 years

The Venezuelan elected a successor to their hugely popular president, Hugo Chavez, who had died earlier this year. Nicolas Maduro, Chavez’ favourite and interim president, won by a narrow margin of 1.59% over the opposition candidate Enrique Capriles who contests the result. Chavez’ successor will have a difficult presidency ahead with a country divided and a country beset with problems ranging from constant food shortages and inflation at 30% to an overblown state sector and an economy nearly entirely reliant on crude oil exports. Finally, Venezuela’s debt problem calls into question the social programmes that have swayed voters in the past.

A man who had disappeared 27 years ago was found to be living as a hermit in the woods of Maine after a game warden had set up a trap to get to the bottom of thefts in his area. Mr Knight was subsequently arrested and charged after telling local police that his arrest had been the first human interaction he had had since the early 1990s. Authorities also found Knight’s camp side very well disguised near a lake. Some residents claim they were aware of his presence for years and cottage owners left food out for him to avoid breakins. As yet, the reason for Knight’s disappearance unknown.

Mubarak trial collapses Hosni Mubarak is not facing trial this week after the ousted Egyptian dictator’s trial before the Court of Appeals collapsed as the judge recused himself and referred the case to another court. He is appealing a sentence of life imprisonment for corruption and complicity in the murder of protesters during the 2011 revolution. Pro-Mubarak supporters reacted angrily to the news claiming that Mr Abdallah only stood down because he was a fair judge while prorevolution protesters welcomed a retrial before a different judge. This is because Mr Abdallah had previously acquitted 24 Mubarak-era officials.


Boston Marathon explosions kill three At least three people were left dead and more than 150 were injured when the Boston Marathon was hit by twin explosions last week. The bombs went off approximately two hours after the winners had crossed the line in the area just in front of the finishing line. The FBI treats the incident as a potential terrorist attack, but at the time of writing no organisation has claimed responsibility. The event has also raised concerns about the security of the London Marathon, the next big international marathon event taking place not even a week later. Sabine Kutcher

Image: NASA (Wikimedia)

LSE Students in Korea As a recent LSE ‘student’ trip causes global controversy, Joe Wood discusses the BBC’s unprofessional means of media coverage in North Korea JOE WOOD


anorama’s North Korea Undercover episode was aired last week despite opposition from the London School of Economics, whose students travelled alongside Panorama reporter John Sweeney to the country. The documentary provides a rare glimpse into an otherwise impenetrable totalitarian state and exposes the shocking degree of poverty, fear and indoctrination rife within the DPRK. The controversial bit comes in the fact that it appears some students were not made aware of, or did not fully appreciate, the presence of BBC journalists being with them until after they had arrived in Pyongyang. There is immediate fault on the part of the BBC for not providing a written document laying out exactly what the circumstances for these students would be, and allowing them to personally decide well in advance of the trip whether they would take part. Rather, it appears to have been a shambolic set up where students were spoken to individually by either Sweeney’s wife (Tomiko Newson) who accompanied the group, or Sweeney’s cameraman. Such unprofessionalism on the part of the BBC is unacceptable, and it should be standard procedure to officially inform all relevant bodies of the dangers that could occur as a result of being in the DPRK with foreign journalists. The documentary itself is a vital source of information for all outside the DPRK, highlighting the truly bleak existence of living within the most insular military state on the planet. I do believe that the BBC was correct in airing the show, despite opposition from LSE. It

is simply too important for it not to be shown. However, that does not mean that the journalists involved and those responsible for Panorama should be exempt from responsibility. They allowed at least part of the group of students on the trip to be kept in the dark, when their safety was at risk.

“Students were not made aware of the presence of BBC journalists until they’d arrived in Pyongyang”

Ceri Thomas, head of programmes with BBC News, told the Today programme on Radio 4 “I don’t think it would have made any difference [to have written consent]. We explained very clearly, twice before we left London and once more in Beijing on the way into North Korea.” Such a lax attitude from the head of programmes does seem somewhat insulting towards the views expressed by the LSE students. Telling students once in Beijing the full details of the situation exemplifies this lack of consideration on the part of the BBC. I can only imagine the conflict for those students who had planned to go to North Korea (which is in itself a brave thing to do) and only once they were half way round the world were told they would be accompanied by foreign journalists, in the most hostile nation on the planet in regards to foreign journalists.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Ding Dong! Was the BBC wrong? THE IRON LADY

Margaret Thatcher, whose politics that divided the nation, died on the 8th of this month Image: Williams, US Military (Wikimedia)

In the light of Margaret Thatcher’s recent death, Sarah Pratley discusses whether BBC Radio One were successful in balancing respect for the deceased with issues around freedom of speech SARAH PRATLEY


o maybe the campaign to get ‘Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead’ to number 1 following Thatcher’s death put BBC Radio 1 into an uncomfortable situation. However, did it really force them into making a ‘decision’ about whether to play it? No, this was not the BBC’s decision to make. On the Sunday official chart show the anti-Thatcher protest song – ‘Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead’ from the 1930s film The Wizard of Oz – failed to make number 1, instead coming in at number 2. However, BBC discussions came to the conclusion to only play a five second excerpt of the song with a Newsbeat presenter ‘explaining’ it. Unsavoury, inappropriate and disrespectful are just some of the many adjectives that have been fired at this song. If we look at this on a personal level then yes, this is offensive. There is a dead loved one, yet to be

buried, and a grieving family involved, and the song is a personal attack on an individual. However, since when did Thatcher not cause controversy? Many can argue, have argued and will continue to do so, that Thatcher did great things for this country.

all celebrate today/ Because it’s one day closer to your death’. Need I say more? We are fortunate enough to live in a democracy which celebrates freedom of speech and an uncensored media. Both ends of the political spectrum have an equally valid voice. Yes, maybe the campaign was distasteful.

“There is a dead loved one and a grieving family involved; the song is a personal attack on the individual”

“BBC Radio 1 argued that their audience is 1624 year olds, none of whom would remember Thatcher’s

But then again, many will also disagree. Just look at the highly successful Billy Elliot: The Musical which revolves around the 1984/85 miners’ strike. The musical includes a song with the lyrics: ‘Merry Christmas Maggie Thatcher/ We

But people have chosen to use their freedom of speech in this way and therefore shouldn’t be denied their voice. Also, can we please discuss the down-


right patronising reasons that BBC Radio 1 gave against the song. They argued that their audience is 16-24 year olds, none of whom would remember Thatcher’s premiership. This is true. They also argued that most of said audience don’t know who Thatcher is. Maybe this is also true – not all of us have a keen interest in 1980s politics. But some of the audience clearly are aware of Thatcher, otherwise the song wouldn’t have made it to number 2. Why deny the voice of some because of the supposed ignorance of others? Secondly, they argued that their young audience wouldn’t be familiar with the 1930s song. Now, I don’t know about you, but I grew up hiding behind the sofa from the wicked witch and playing a munchkin in the school musical. And even if some people don’t know the song, why would anyone bother to listen to the radio if every song that was played was already downloaded on their iTunes? The song that came in at number 35 was The Notsensibles’ ‘I’m in Love with Margaret Thatcher’. This was played without question. But then, I guess, according to this new censorship we’re all in love with Maggie these days.


MARX MY WORDS #5- Is student politics broken?

Three recent debacles have illustrated to me that at least a powerful minority of student politicians don’t work for us. They’re too obsessed with hectoring us on our behaviour, pursuing objectives we don’t care about and backtracking on election promises. Do these elected politicians really represent us? The greatest perk of a student card, I’m sure you’ll agree, is the free McDonalds chips or burger. Well, this little bonus is under threat. It appears that the NUS want to sever all ties with McDonalds. All because of some nebulous eco-quackery or political correctness-buffoonery. Why exactly, do NUS representatives pursue such ridiculous politics when it is clearly at odds with the basic will of the wider student population? It can only be because they don’t care for the views of those they’re supposed to represent. Recently several students unions up and down the country have banned The Sun. In particular York, Sheffield and the LSE have stopped selling the paper in their union shops following a decision from their elected politicians. I feel this shows an absolute distrust in the abilities of the students to choose for themselves what is right and wrong. Whilst Page 3 may represent a misogynistic approach to women, and lead to all kinds of dreadfulness, it is not up to student politicians to seek to prevent students from falling foul of these things. Students - adults - must be in a position to take responsibility for themselves. Page 3 is not illegal, the girls posing do so under their own free will. As such the unions, and the politicians, have no right to seek to prevent students from buying the paper. Does anyone believe that Murdoch will be persuaded by a few illiberal student politicians banning his newspaper? Despite an unequivocal election pledge from the incumbent Activities Officer at Newcastle’s SU, Jasmine Walker, to put on ‘the best Grad Ball yet’, there isn’t going to be one. An election pledge reneged upon; you’d have thought current students would value representatives who didn’t go all Cleggy on us the minute they get a slither of power. Whether or not it’s the right decision now is irrelevant. This highlights the poor state of university politics when a candidate feels it’s ok to make an election promise they clearly didn’t know they could fulfil. These student ‘representatives’ seek to do anything but represent, they want to tell us how to behave and use us as pawns in their infantile political agendas. It’s not as if there aren’t worthwhile causes that students could rally behind such as reform of the noise-complaint system or the exploitative Halls of Residence repair costs. The fact the so-called representatives shun this equivalent of constituency work in favour of ‘big’ politics reveals the democratic deficit that emerges when you’re elected on miniscule turnouts and often don’t want re-election. All is not lost however, the fact this piece has been published in a Union paper shows that the Union is willing to listen to criticism of itself. We can retain some confidence because at least Newcastle University’s Students Union hasn’t got to the point of censoring critics. It can only get better, presumably it can’t get any worse.


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Packham-ing a punch for British wildlife Esteemed naturalist and household name Chris Packham is famed for The Really Wild Show, Springwatch and his conservation efforts. Science Editor James Simpson caught up with him to talk eating pandas, badger culling, and filming ‘amongst the shit’ Starting his career as an avid birdwatcher naturally progressed Chris Packham to studying Zoology at Southampton University and a globe-trotting career - it’s pretty obvious he loves wildlife. You’re well known for your wildlife programmes like Springwatch and The Really Wild Show.What tips would you give to any budding nature enthusiasts considering a life in wildlife documenting? It’s important to remember that there are two sides to the trade; one you learn in the laboratories at university, and the other you need to learn in the field getting out where the action is. If you’re going to be interested in wildlife storytelling (which is basically what it is) you have to spend time and see the stuff you sell. Time spent in field is rarely wasted - just buy an alarm clock and use it. What particular wildlife could we be looking out for in Newcastle? Newcastle is a big city with vibrant culture, art, nightlife, and football. But you only have to go a short distance out of the city to see some amazing stuff. You have ‘Big waters’ (Nature reserve near the airport) which is the best place in the UK to see otters in the daylight. There’s no question about that and it’s an amazing place. You have the Kittiwakes nesting on the bridges and the side of the Baltic. There’s a brilliant glass-viewing platform where you can go from contemporary art to the Kittiwakes. Go south of Newcastle and you have the Red Kites and you can get on the bus and go see the kites, that’s how close they are. You go further up coast and you have Holy Isle, Farne Islands, Druids Bay and Alnwick which are all great winter birding spots. You are very lucky and it’s all relatively unspoilt. It’s definitely a great place to explore. And is there anything we as students can be doing to help encourage wildlife? If you’re renting a house with a small garden, you could feed the birds or put up nest boxes. It doesn’t matter that you’re students as open resources can often be a better place for wildlife. It’s a small investment, which is quite literally peanuts. And don’t forget to feed throughout the year as it’s a myth that it’s only a winter thing. Even in very urban spots you should put up sparrow or starling boxes because they really do help. With images of farmers digging sheep out of the snow, do you think all the cold weather we’ve recently had, having a detrimental impact on spring wildlife?

Yeah I think so, it’s slowing everything down. We’re not where we should be. Whether it’s detrimental in long term we can’t be sure. We had a really bad year last year, for example, butterflies. This year we’re hoping we will have a better year. If it goes really wet though it will be really bad, there’s no doubt about it, but if it goes warm we will be in a better place. The recent controversial badger cull was announced a few weeks back, after studying for a PhD on badgers, what is your opinion on this? I’m very opposed to it, and I’m opposed to it because the science says the cull won’t work. On that account I can’t support the cull. I am governed by the science, and there is good science which says it is not going to work. I believe we have to follow the research which we spent 50 million pounds on and killed 11,000 badgers. That should govern it, not opinion, blood lust, politics or anything else. We should make a decision on what we know best at this point in time and we need to apply the science which says it will increase the spread of TB. So quite clearly I’m opposed to it. You’ve always shown a keen interest in the Red Kite and with there being a key focus on their conservation in Northumberland, why is it important to preserve such a species? They’re a good Flagship species. They’re easy to spot and see so people can engage with them very easily which helps conserve them and other species. There’s no doubt it was a hugely expensive reintroduction, and problematic in some areas but we should definitely pursue their conservation because they engage with so many people. It’s all about engagement and seeing them and if that happens then we’ve made progress and we [conservationists] need to do this to raise money to enable us to do the other things. You’re obviously at the forefront of conservation efforts, what’s the driving force for this? I like life. I’m not too fond of humans if I’m honest but I like other animal life. The more of it there is about and the less we mess it up the better. If I could spend my time in a world without humans and all other life, that’s something I’d love to do. I don’t dislike individuals and I’m not antisocial but I see the amount of damage our species is doing and has done and I’m not very keen on it. I’d love to see a world with other species prospering as much as we are.

Photo: Chris Packham

“Time in the field is rarely wasted”

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

“[The badger cull] will increase the spread of TB” Photo: Wikimedia

“I like life, I’m not too fond of humans if I’m honest” Photo: Chris Packham You say conservation is something not being done right, where do you think it needs to go? It needs to take more risks, undoubtedly, and be more intelligent. More effort, belief and trust in new ideas and the ideas younger people are coming up with and not the dreary old rubbish that some of the older conservation efforts push. It’s outdated and is in a rut and we need to make sure young people and their ideas are coming through which would make a big change. Some conservation bodies aren’t even actively campaigning for wildlife and it’s a disgrace. That’s not something I want my generation to be a part of. You’re infamous for saying you would ‘eat the last panda’, what did you mean by this? I’d like us to conduct a sensible audit as to how we’re spending conservation money. I would eat the last panda if it meant we could have the money for elsewhere. We need to stop and think that we only have a limited amount of time and money and we’re not doing what we should be. We’re spending money on one species [panda] which could potentially be used to save whole ecosystems. If you were to eat Panda, how would you go about having it? [Laughs] Well it would be difficult for me as I am a vegetarian and haven’t eaten meat for the last 30 years at least. However, I am very fond of Indian and spicy food so I’d definitely have to say a Tandoori Panda Masala. What’s being your most bizarre filming location? Oh my goodness. Bizarre? We’ll I’ve been to a few sewage works in my time but they’re not really that bizarre. How about your favourite then? Oh my favourite sewage works? [Laughing] There’s a great one in Gambia where I go for a couple of

days every year for the last 15 to 20 years or so. Always have a great day amongst the shit. Last year I saw a Blue-headed Wagtail. And like I say every year gives a great day. You’re infamous for dropping song titles into Springwatch having done The Smiths, and The Cure. What’s the motivation behind this?

“I always have a great day amongst the shit. Last year I saw a Blueheaded Wagtail”

I like to get people to realise it’s not all about wildlife. Just because I’m into wildlife doesn’t mean I’m not into other things too. The way I see it is if there’s someone in the room who’s maybe not into wildlife and their only watching because their kids or partners are watching, if I can get them to prick up their ears and play along with this game of spot the song title, to me, I’ve won another member of the audience which I’m trying to attract. It’s all about building up a bigger audience. This year I want to do another one in Springwatch. I’ve got some ideas for a new device but it has to be bands I know extremely well as it’s that programme isn’t scripted. I know in my head that when an opportunity comes up I have to drop a song title in so it needs to be a band I know really well as well as the audience. It’s no good doing The Beatles or The Rolling Stones as I’m not massive fans of them. I don’t normally go for well-known bands. But yeah hopefully there will be one more round of song titles. On Valentine’s Day we published an article on strange courtship behaviour in the animal kingdom, have you ever being witness to anything particularly strange? Well the human courtship behaviour has always been apparent to me. One of the first jobs I had was filming hunting wasps which like sandy beach areas. The location I was sent to by the BBC was well, let’s just say a male homosexual dogging site. So I spent my summer in amongst the sand dunes where lots of male homosexuals were ‘soliciting’ one another. Now I have nothing against homosexuality but it’s extremely distracting trying to film wasps when some guy’s trying to chat you up!


If you could be any animal which one would it be and why? A swallow. I’d love to be able to fly that fast and be sparkly blue. I Can’t imagine how exhilarating it would be to beat along the ground at that speed. It would be absolutely awesome. So yeah I’d be a swallow.

Tandoori Panda Masala?

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor: Sally Greenwood

How to style: the pinafore Nicole Stevenson shows us how to style a denim pinafore for both daytime and evening occasions Lace Top: Love Label at, £29 Scarf: Monsoon, £22 Clutch Bag: Bank, £18 Shoes: Office, £50

Get a romantic vintage look with a versatile denim pinafore dress by dressing it up with 90s pastel colours; don’t be afraid to mix things up! The soft round collar and the lace texture of the top adds a feminine touch, giving the pinafore a fresh new image. At the same time, the chunky bracelet and the studded shoes create a contrast to the girly vibe, matching pretty with a touch of punk. This outfit is all about detail, which results in a balance of casual and smart, as the three-tone clutch and classy scarf add a touch of class. It’s a unique daytime look that indicates the wearer has an eye for fashion as well as a playful personality. Whether you’re going out with friends or a on a date, this fun, young style will guarantee not just a compliment but also a second date.

Daytime Date

Dare to stand out from the crowd by teaming your pinafore with a sexy leather bralet, for a new rock chic look. Leave the predictable black and white logo tee at home to be the first to show off this edgy trend. Showing off a little bit of skin can be alluring, so this leather bralet is perfect as long as your legs are covered up with a pair of tights. For a gig, comfy footwear is essential. These cute kitty flats are an irresistible buy and go well with the hat, which is the cherry on top that makes all the difference. Accessorise with a cool necklace, skull ring and an equally shiny clutch bag, as they upgrade the look and make the outfit more night-time appropriate. Have fun with this outfit – you could even opt to wear leather boots instead for a serious glam/grunge finish.

Bralet: River Island, £45 Necklace: River Island, £6 Clutch Bag: Accessorize, £38 Bowler Hat: Pilot, £11.99 Shoes: Vestry, £22

Gig or Concert

Pinafore: BDG at Urban Outfitters, £58

Online boutique of the week

Crown and Glory’s range of hair accessories are simply gorgeous. The wide range of accessories available (including headbands, combs, slides and headscarves) means you’ll easily be able to find something to suit your own style. There’s also a great choice of headbands and fascinators which will add that finishing touch to outfits for

graduations, summer balls and weddings. However, it’s their stunning floral crowns and floral headbands that really steal the show. They are perfect for those of us who want to inject a little bit of summer into our style, but can’t quite bring ourselves to brave a floral dress just yet. Rebecca Gregory

Fashion blog of the week

The Couture Junkie, a blog by fashion conscious Natalie, demonstrates her extensive knowledge of the fashion industry which has inspired her minimalist yet perfectly accessorised style. Natalie’s outfit posts reveal her passion and skill for mixing high-street and designer pieces. Her treasured Celine Trio handbag is heavily featured in her photographs and really shows the benefits of investing in a designer piece, whilst

her informal yet informative style of writing makes her blog a really enjoyable read. Posts featuring Miuccia Prada’s outfit designs for The Great Gatsby and details of up and coming brands such as Skaist-Taylor are gems of information that you would struggle to find elsewhere, and that’s what really makes The Couture Junkie such an individual blog. Hannah Fitton

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013 | @Courier_Fashion

Back to the nineties

The decade that gave us Clueless and The Spice Girls is storming back onto the high street, so get ready to embrace those baggy jeans again as Frances Stephenson shows us how to rework the best styles of the nineties.



Crop Top


Style Inspiration: Style Inspiration: Style Inspiration: Style Inspiration: Drew Barrymore Ivy in Poison Ivy

Alicia Silverstone Cher in Clueless

Alison Joy Langer

Rayanne in My So Called Life

Brittany Murphy Tai in Clueless

Shirt: H&M, £20 Crop Top: Urban Outfitters, £28 Skirt: Topshop, £30 Top tip: add smudged black eyeliner and Socks: H&M, £3 messy, slightly backcombed hair to achieve Dr Martens:, £75 the grunge look

Hat:, £6 Crop Top: Urban Outfitters, £28 Jeans: H&M, £35 Converse: Office £45

Hat:, £6 Dungarees: ASOS Marketplace, £15 T-Shirt: charity shop, £2 Converse: Office, £45

This is one of those looks that gives the impression that you’ve just thrown on whatever you found on your bedroom floor whilst still managing to look effortlessly cool (evidenced in Miss Barrymore’s look of extreme nonchalance throughout Poison Ivy). However, you’d be a fool to believe that this wasn’t a carefully constructed statement of non-conformity. So strike your best ‘I don’t care’ pose and stick some Nirvana on your Walkman; grunge is back. Think, black (and lots of it) and complete the look with an old, well loved pair of Dr Martens or Converse, messy hair, smudged black eyeliner and you’re good to go. Scruffy simplicity is definitely the key to achieving this look.

Crop tops can be a slightly intimidating addition to your outfit, but don’t be afraid of baring your midriff; it’s just how they rolled in the 90s and they can look great if you carefully consider the rest of your outfit. If you’re going to expose your abs (or lack of) to the world, then perhaps that mini skirt is best left hanging in your wardrobe for now. Instead choose a pair of high wasted shorts or jeans (my favourites are Levi’s ‘Mom’ jeans) in order to balance out the flesh on show. If you’re still a little cautious, or if it’s simply a chilly day, then cover up with an oversized plaid shirt or jacket, but if you’re being brave for a night out then a roll neck style will look super sexy.

‘So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.’ – Cher, Clueless. Cher may express her disdain for this trend but it is undeniably easy to wear and completely encapsulates the 90s high school vibe. Update the look by cropping your dungarees into a more flattering short style (perfect for festivals, although watch out for those rogue straps on trips to the toilet) and pair them with some skater trainers; Vans, Converse or Supergas are perfect.

Maxi Dress: & Other Stories, £35 Dr Martens: £75

We could all do with being a bit more like Cher. She can shop forever, thinks boys are gross and never trusts mirrors (she takes polaroids to check her outfits instead, duh). You can’t write about 90s fashion without a slice of the cult classic Clueless and this look is taken from the other end of the 90s teen fashion spectrum: super tailored and preppy. It might be usually strictly reserved for fancy dress parties, but if done properly it pays the perfect homage to Cher in the ultimate 90s chick flick. Layer up chiffon shirts with a cropped jumper and team with a tweed skirt and high socks. Just swap the pumps for Dr Martens to toughen up the look and ensure you don’t end up looking too Britney in her ‘Baby One More Time’ era.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013 | @Courier_Beauty

Beauty Editor: Annie Morgan Online Beauty Editor: Amy Macauley

How To: Tip of the week Nudes

Online Beauty Editor Amy Macauley shares one of her best beauty tips - how to remove gel nails pain-free and without ruining your nails

Annie Morgan shows us how to do a ‘no makeup’ natural look.

Holy grail!

Daisy Ridley reveals her favourite lip product and why she thinks it is worth splashing out a bit on lipstick

Step 3

The next step is to place your nails in the small bowl so that they are covered by the acetone and leave them for about 15 minutes. If you are finding it difficult to scrape the gel off then leave them covered by the acetone for five more minutes and then wrap your fingertips in tinfoil for a further five minutes until they come off easily. You don’t want to have to force them off, because that might damage your nails and make them become weak and flaky.

Step 1: Base

Step 4

This is the most important step as this look requires flawless looking skin. Depending on the condition of your skin, use either a foundation, tinted moisturiser or BB cream to even out your skin tone. Yellow toned bases tend to be more flattering. Make sure to conceal any blemishes you have and underneath your eyes and redness around your nose.

Step 2: Cheeks & Brows

Gel nails look great when you initially get them done but once they start to chip they can begin to look unkempt and not so pretty. This tip will allow you to remove them at home as well as saving you at least £15-£20 at the salon.

What you will need: • • • •

Once your gels nails are off you need to let your nails recover, ideally by using cuticle oil nightly and using a clear base coat each time you apply nail varnish. By using a base coat, you allow there to be a barrier between the nail polish you are about to apply and your nails - this way you won’t get any yellowing effects either. This will allow you to have smooth, healthy nails which are ready for whatever the new season trends have to throw at them. ...and that is how you remove gel nails without causing any breakages!

A small bottle of acetone (available behind the counter at most chemists) Hot water 1 large bowl 1 small bowl

Step 1

First of all, you need to boil the kettle and let it cool, then fill the small bowl with your bottle of acetone so that when you dip your nails in they are covered. Just make sure that you don’t have any open cuts on your hands or else it might sting a bit!

Step 2

Next, you need to place the small bowl so it is sitting inside the larger bowl, and then fill the larger bowl with the hot water. You want this to look natural so subtly contour your cheekbones and nose to emphasis your face structure. Add a small amount of highlighter to the tops of your cheeks for a bit of a glow. Fill in your eyebrows, if you usually do.

Step 3: Eyes

When choosing a lipstick I tend to go for quality and save up for one; MAC and Chanel are two of my all time favourites. But quite recently I have discovered Lancome’s lipsticks. A big trend for S/ S13 is the ‘no makeup’ makeup look. I love this trend as it is so easy to achieve and brings out our natural features. However, I always get stuck with what to do with my lips. Vaseline is never enough for me because I like a hint of colour. L’Absolu Nu (101 Corail Evanescent) is perfect. As you can see it is well loved and used on a regular basis, I use it on days where I don’t want to wear a full face of makeup. It just adds a nice pop of colour without being too over-the-top and it’s a really summery shade which always puts everyone is a good mood! The beautiful thing about this shade is that it suits the majority of skin tones and not only that but it is really long lasting too. Pick one up today from Debenhams or John Lewis beauty departments for £22.00 - expensive but it’s worth the investment! It’s always nice to have a few really high-quality, luxury products that you enjoy using and never fail you.

Five beauty spring picks Beccy Gregory has picked out her top spring picks, which she thinks everyone and their grandmothers should own!

Carmex Strawberry Lip Balm

Carmex lip balm is cheap, soothing and you can feel it working instantly. The strawberry flavour is really fresh and fruity for spring and not only does it smell delicious but it also has the added benefit of SPF, which is really important if you want to avoid having dried-out, chapped lips.

Phil Smith Argan Oil Hair Transforming Cream For your eyes, use either a concealer or a neutral toned cream eyeshadow to counteract any blue/ purple tones across your eyelids. If you usually wear eyeliner, just line your lashes with a brown eyeshadow using a slanted brush. Then finally add some lengthening and separating mascara.

Step 4: Lips

This cream is a god-send for dry and damaged hair. You only need a pea-sized amount so it lasts for ages. The cream, applied to wet hair, makes hair feel soft, and look silky smooth shiny. The fresh, coconut scent is lovely and leaves your hair smelling great all day.

Soap & Glory Flake Away Body Scrub

A little bit goes a long way with this product and dry skin still lingering from winter is instantly buffed away, leaving your legs feeling smooth and shorts-ready. After rinsing off, the floral scent remains on the skin but is subtle, making it an especially lovely exfoliator.

No7 Stay Perfect Nail Polish in Lucky Lilac

This polish is a great spring colour as it’s sweet but not too bright. As a good quality polish, it requires two coats at the most to get that solid-colour finish. Nail varnish is an easy way to add a pop of colour in order to move way from duller winter trends.

The Body Shop Brush On Radiance

To finish off the look, use a nude lipstick. Try to use a lipstick that is similar in tones to your natural lip colour for a really flattering effect.

This blush gives you the perfect glow to help brighten up your daily makeup ready for the spring months. The added shimmer means it also highlights cheekbones whilst the rosy but light colour keeps the possibility of mistakenly applying too much to a minimum.

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter

How to: decorate your student house: some invaluable interior design tips from Features Editor Tom Nicholson Illustrations by Ellie Heggarty

The Traffic Sign

An enduring classic of student living, the inclusion of a road sign in one’s front room is one of the few remaining links between ourselves and previous generations of students: during a drunken escapade while studying at Cambridge, Samuel Pepys nicked a sign reading “FORSOOTH! YE ROADE AHEADE CLOSED”, and recorded in his diary what a “source of greate merrimente” the sign was. Certainly, a road sign in a front room is a conspicuous reminder of public nuisance offences. However, in recent years the practice seems to have abated somewhat simply through its accession to cliché, but given that nostalgia is hot, hot, hot across the fashion and design world right now, a revival of this ancient and noble tradition might be on the cards. The timid or sign-curious might dip their toe by stealing some three week-old bunting from some park fencing, but from there the progression runs thus: cone; ‘ROAD AHEAD CLOSED’ or other roadworks sign; portable traffic lights; street name sign; fixed traffic lights; and finally, a Smart car. Gold-standard thieves should aim to emulate the household of students in Manchester who managed to steal a 500-yard stretch of the M56 last October. Hipsters might take a slightly more left-field approach and appropriate a ‘To Let’ sign from a nearby house, though they will inevitably cave to the same temptation as everybody else and doctor the sign so it reads ‘TOILET’. Teehee.

Posters Wall art is essential: it’s the easiest way to make your bare, personality-free hovel into something approaching a home. The classic examples of student posters have remained broadly the same for the last twenty years or so, and broadly fall into one of a few categories, prime among which is the ‘eye candy’ poster. Depending on your tastes, you might have already decorated your house with posters of Channing Tatum’s enormous bosom muscles, Megan Fox draped across a motorbike or One Direction looking cherubic. These are getting a little clichéd – why not be the first on your street with a poster of Norris from Coronation Street looking coquettishly across the bar at the Rovers? Alternatively, you could choose to tell everyone that you are one of the 300 million people to have seen Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, Scarface, or Back to the Future. Then there’s a whole subculture of posters devoted to the smoking industrial quantities of weed, ranging from the slightly oblique (Bob Marley throwing his head back and laughing) through to the incredibly blunt (a three-foot-by-two-foot marijuana leaf in the colours of the Jamaican flag). Of course, these posters are rendered somewhat unnecessary by the all-pervading stench of weed throughout the houses they feature in. Lastly, a word on ‘Keep Calm and…’ posters: “bullshit”.

Geek chic

Fridge Magnets Not just a fun way to pass the time while staring at the fridge wondering where your life went wrong, those fridge magnets which can be rearranged to make sentences are also absolutely vital in the running of an efficient household. Someone stealing your butter? Leave the culprit a passive-aggressive message to the effect of “Steal my Lurpak and I’ll break your legs”. The benefits don’t end in the kitchen either, oh no. Seething resentment can be expressed on towel rails, radiators and hi-fi systems, so there is no escape for the object of your completely futile and cowardly wrath. There are also many of what some call “wicked bants” to be had in placing magnets on unsuspecting friends who have had metal plates inserted into their bodies after traumatic injuries.

MASSIVE SPEAKERS Candles Dangerous, yes, but vitally important for creating a boudoir feel while watching Bargain Hunt. This effect, however, will only be achieved with tea lights or those nice £60 scented ones from Space:NK. You can’t just nick the massive 6-foot ones from a local church. You’ll get some weird Exorcist vibes, not to mention eternal damnation.

The Wall of Cans

A rather more recent development in the world of home decoration, a wall covered by rows of empty cans stacked on top of each other simply screams elegance and élan, while also being a handy way of informing visitors of exactly how much Carling it’s possible to drink before one goes blind. The choice of can makes a great deal of difference to the statement your can wall makes, too. The gothically-inclined might plump for the black and gold of Strongbow, while a slightly more chic wall of Diet Coke cans is all the rage in Paris right now. Those who have simply given up on life might consider Tesco Value 2% lager. Cement them all together with glue, chewing gum, or, failing that, hair gel. Engineers and architects might like the challenge of stacking empty bottles instead – there’s probably a dissertation in it at least.

Not just a prerequisite for parties, one can also choose one’s speakers as an opportunity to express the sharpness of one’s edge. Ideally, you should aim for speakers which don’t fit through your front door. As well as facilitating street parties, the sheer size and power of the speakers will mean that even the last Courteeners album will sound utterly monumental through them. (N.B. If you do play the last Courteeners album through your massive speakers nobody will speak to you and you may wake up to find a cross drawn in blood on your door.)

I don’t even know him that well

Bunting Do you like flags? Yes, of course you do. Everyone likes flags. What’s better than flags? I’ll tell you – loads of tiny triangular flags on a piece of string. Whack some bunting up around your house and visitors might mistake your student scumhole for a place where a librarian or a doctor might live. You know, someone nice. Also, you’ll be ready to celebrate any and all royal occasions without even having to stand up.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013 | @Courier_Life

Blind Date: Ben Goddard 2nd Year Philosophy meets Laura Mason, Athletic Union Officer

Ben on Laura What’s your usual type? I’m not sure I have a ‘usual type’ when it comes to looks. I think I’m more concerned with how a girl presents herself. I don’t like a lot of make-up, or someone too concerned with dolling themselves up; they have to be fairly natural. First impressions? My first impressions were good, although when she addressed me as ‘Alex’ I thought for a moment she was the wrong girl… She approached me with a friendly smile and conversation started quickly. I was glad I arrived first as I didn’t want her to be the one waiting. Any interesting conversation topics? We found common ground over our mutual interest in the game show Pointless. It could have been awkward as I spoke about it quite passionately but fortunately she seemed equally interested. Any awkward moments? When she arrived she addressed as ‘Alex’, which we later found out was because she had been told that was my name. No harm done though. Perhaps at the end as she went to the Metro, there was an awkward moment which resulted in both parties presenting our phones as if it was the polite thing to do… What was her best trait? She had a great smile, and it was incredibly easy to talk to her. We chatted for quite a while and the date finished later than I expected without any awkward silences. What was her worst trait? Possibly the fact that she has already graduated, and is now working for the Students’ Union. There’s nothing wrong with that but as I’m in second year we were in quite different circumstances. At any point did you understand why she was single? No not at all. She was talkative, interesting and I enjoyed myself. Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? Throughout the date I didn’t feel the mood warranted a kiss, so no! Would your parents approve? I’m sure they would like her. Plenty of interests that she would have in common with them so they would have lots to talk about. What would your ideal date be? I’d like something a bit different to a drink. A trip to the comedy club would be ideal, have a few drinks, chat and enjoy the performers. I actually looked online but sadly it was fully booked for the evening of the date. How did the date end? The date ended with a walk to the metro and then a hug goodbye. We did exchange numbers but due to our differing stages of University I doubt I’ll see Laura again. Marks out of 10? 7.5

Evie O’Sullivan

Laura on Ben What’s your usual type? I don’t really have a “usual” type but I would probably say a genuine guy who I share things in common with and someone that makes me laugh. First impressions? He was on time, well dressed and very approachable. Any interesting conversation topics? There was plenty to talk about; travelling and family life were key conversation topics. But nothing ‘out of the ordinary’ was revealed. Any awkward moments? I thought his name was Alex and it was only at the end of the date that he corrected me to tell me his name was actually Ben! That was pretty awkward… What was his best trait? He had nice eyes and he held the conversation well. What was his worst trait? None that I noticed! At any point did you understand why he was single? Nothing stood out to me. Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? Overall I had a great evening, with plenty of conversation and things in common however the spark wasn’t there, so no kiss I am afraid. Would your parents approve? I think they would approve, as he dressed and spoke well and had lots of interesting things to talk about. Whether he would cope with my family is another matter… He also mentioned that he had been horse riding when he was younger which would fit in with my family as they are all involved in the racehorse training industry. How did the date end? We exchanged numbers but we have not had any contact since. What would your ideal date be? Hmmm something exiting and different; maybe water-skiing or go-karting. Or if funds could afford it, a helicopter or hot air balloon ride! Marks out of 10? 7

Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help! Send your details to

University Challenges

#3 - Dinner table debates

Now that the students have returned from home, gorged with food and well rested, there is never a more likely time for household debates to erupt. Just think of all the luxuries you enjoyed at home, never worrying about your washing or taking out the bins, and now you are squished back into four walls bursting with pheromones, dirty bedding and general ickiness. Plus, when you factor in dissertation/ essay/ exam stress, you are looking at a whole new level of angst, resulting in one thing only - biting each other’s heads off at the dinner table. Tasty I’m sure. And of course the one topic that has been hot on everyone’s lips is the death of the controversial figure, Margaret Thatcher. I can only speak for myself, but I feel in no way adequate to make any sort of judgement on Baroness Thatcher’s reign…after all, I hadn’t even been conceived then, let alone alive and kicking. But this event caused such a heartfelt outburst from the UK population, that I thought it was only a matter of time before it crept up and reared its head at the dinner table - bursting the little uni bubble we all co-exist in. So, this got me thinking of ways to avoid engaging in a debate on Thatcher’s reign, and I started to think about the event in a whole new light. For, truth be told, after the Romans and the Tudors, I don’t even recall hearing all too much about her in history lessons. It seems that our childhoods were jam packed full of the Spice Girls, scrunchies, bubble bags and maybe Oasis for when we got a teeny bit older. So, how were we to know of the hardships endured under the Tory government’s reign? Perhaps instead of focusing on party politics, it would be safer to stick to discussing the mass of confusion that surrounded Margaret Thatcher’s death. Cider lovers all around were forced into a state of fear that the manufacturers ‘Thatcher’s’ had shut down, which God forbid, might force them to drink Strongbow instead. Even worse, Twitter confusion surrounding #nowthatchersdead caused all Cher fans to emerge from wherever they have been hiding, and stop dead in their tracks. Worst of all, the song ‘Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead’ soared to number ten in the official UK chart two days after Thatcher’s death, and I’m sure the cast of The Wizard of Oz can’t have been too happy about that one… So when it comes to the death of Baroness Thatcher, instead of deeming her a legacy or a nightmare, it may be better to stick to safer territory, allowing you to keep munching on your £2 ready meal without the blink of an eye. But then again, as a ‘90s kid living in the big wider world, maybe it is important to look at the bigger picture once in a while. After all there is more to uni life than sleeping, eating, partying and panicking about work….isn’t there?

Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier | @courier_life

The Intern

What really goes on in the world of summer internships...

Fresher Chef Afternoon Tea Mackerel? Liqueur? Wasabi? Am I made of money? Do I shop at M&S? It’s nice to make something different every now and then without breaking the bank, to celebrate without making it complicated. This week: Invite your besties over for afternoon tea, with classic English Scones, served with clotted cream and strawberry jam. Ingredients: 225g Self raising flour Tiny bit of salt 55g Butter 120ml Milk 1 egg Method 1. Preheat oven to 220°C and grease a baking tray 2. Mix the flour with salt and then rub in the butter (but do not be tempted to make breadcrumbs) 3. Stir in the sugar and the milk to get a soft dough 4. Place the dough on a floured hard surface and knead it into a round shape about 2inches thick 5. Use a cutter (or mug or any other cycle shape) to cut out rounds and place them on the baking sheet. 6. Keep kneading the rest of the dough together to get more scones 7. Brush the tops of the dough with beaten egg 8. Usually I would bake them for 15 minutes, but with the Ricky Road ovens it’s more like 20-25.

In the heated competition of the working world, exceptional prospective employees ordinarily seek to distinguish themselves through a carefully compiled portfolio of work experience, internships, summer jobs, volunteering, and a host of other strenuous and commendable activities. These keen beans tower over the average graduate, who is often entirely devoid of experience; carrying blank CVs and with nothing but school rugby teams and sixth-form prefect duties to lean upon on the offchance they’re summoned to an interview. This group of “unemployables” would doubtless argue that they simply had no time for any sort of work experience, choosing instead to focus all their energies on scraping a 2:1 with as little work as possible. But there is a solution for this unfortunate set of layabouts: to unashamedly rely upon whatever tenuous connections they may have in the world of big business to secure them a job. Ahh, the comforts of nepotism. In the summer of last year, I was forced to swallow my pride, and opted to play “the Dad card” and managed to secure myself a brief stint in the company at which he is managing director. It wasn’t my proudest moment, but I simply couldn’t see how a mixture of sporadic babysitting and an intense amount of club promotion was going to convince employers that I was the man for them. It was a means to an end, not an end itself: a valuable addition to the curriculum vitae.

Restaurant Review Ernest

Of course, the decision brought with it a few instances in which I was forced to accept a bit of well-earned stick. Yes, before you ask, the interview process with Dad over the dinner table was extremely harrowing and, yes, my pocket money is due for a substantial raise. My friend John, had also secured himself a London-based internship, but through far more conventional channels (achievement, effort, applications, etc., etc.) John’s father delighted in citing his son’s accomplishments in games of one-upmanship. It was a good thing my Dad was out of the house or the two of them would have been whipping out our GCSE results in no time! Over my first days and indeed weeks at the company, I suffered from crippling tiredness. Alexander, a colleague in marketing, assigned me the initial task of trawling through the fact sheets on the company website for discrepancies - unquestionably amongst the most soporific pursuits in the universe. I poured through page upon page of precisely formatted product sheets, searching for any break in uniformity. There were, in fact, a great many mistakes. I don’t think it would be unreasonable to suggest that without my invaluable contribution in the identification of these errors, the entire company would have collapsed upon itself. It was during these fact sheet-perfecting sessions that I truly began to feel the effects of a 6am start. Submerged in the monotony of legal jargon and statistics, the lids of my eyes began to weigh heavier. My head would loll involuntarily and randomly forwards in an effort to sleep, and each time it did I briskly jerked it

Ryan Weeks

Opening times: Monday – Saturday 9am – 5pm Sunday 10am – 4pm 1 Boyd Street Ouseburn NE2 1AP 0191 260 5216

“super tasty, probably due to the local sourcing of seasonal food” My friend went for the steak sandwich, which came with a salad. These were both super tasty, probably due to the local sourcing of seasonal food. Ernest prides itself on good quality, fresh ingredients. Not content to leave without trying the puddings, we decided to go for the waffles topped with vanilla ice cream and apple compote, and the warm chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream. The portions were both generous and delicious. The prices were also student friendly, and there are student deals running at the moment, offering meals for £6… so get yourself down there now! I also imagine Ernest being the type of place where you can take uni work, get a coffee and pretend that you are doing very important research for assignments. Despite being further out for some students to access, Ouseburn is a cultural hub and well worth a visit. Just make sure you stop at Ernest along the way. Georgina Grant

9. Serve with a cup of tea. Add any dried fruit you like to make fruit scones. Tip: If the mixture is sticky, almost more of a batter than a dough, add more flour and make sure you role it on a hard surface covered in flour. Always air on the side of caution when adding the milk, just in case- less is more! The key to a great afternoon tea is that everyone chips in. You make scones, some else makes raspberry muffins and someone else brings the sandwiches.


Katie Smith

upright, desperately clinging to consciousness. Whiplash soon became a very serious concern. I tried all manner of methods of combatting the tiredness. I would arm myself with several glasses of chilled water, hoping that the cold would engender alertness. I tried stepping out of the office and performing random bouts of exercise: pressups, bodyweight squats, even sprints up and down quieter sections of the staircase. On one occasion I even took advantage of the spacious disabled toilet to take a 5 minute power-nap; entering at 8.07am and setting an alarm on my phone for 8.12am. The problem was that the schedule was in such stark contrast to the timetable of a student. A 9am start at university is the worst kind of start; deeply begrudged and frequently slept-through. Students generally held the opinion that it was deeply immoral of their lecturers to demand that they be raring to go at 9 O’Clock in the morning. What I would give for a few more 9ams now!

aving frequented Ernest on a few occasions, I jumped at the chance of a free meal to review. Unless you happen to know the area particularly well, you might not have heard of this little gem yet. Established in July last year, it is situated amongst the art galleries of Ouseburn, and fits right into place. One of the first things you will notice on arrival is the somewhat amusing painting on the side of the building, of Darth Vader carrying a tray of drinks. This hints at the laid-back attitude inside. We took a table nestled amongst the sofas and soft lighting. Various books scattered the shelves running around the edge of the room, giving a relaxed feel. A mix of people was inside, ranging from business

types to students. We were given menus by a friendly waitress and left to peruse them. One of the most popular deals, and what Ernest is already so well known for, is the flatbread and pint deal for £7. Quipped as pizza but tastier, the flatbreads come in a variety of appealing choices such as ‘Pancetta and Gruyere’ and ‘Savoy and Walnut Pesto with Sun Dried Tomatoes’. Having tried the flatbreads before (which are worth the hype by the way), I was keen to expand my repertoire. Being partial to breakfast at any time of the day, I opted for something from the all day brunch menu. After lots of debating, as everything sounded so good, I went for the smoked salmon with scrambled eggs, dill, and chives, on granary toast.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter

Travelling the Unknown: ideas for Summer holidays Photo: Flickr (mroach)

Ten tips for visiting Portugal

With Mills McKenzie

Portugal, although geographically linked to Spain, is worlds away, with its sensational fishing villages, vibrant nightlife and the southern province of Algarve which receives the most annual sunshine hours in Europe. Here are various tips about Portuguese travel:

talking about Portugal people inevi1. When tably mention the Algarve, a must see. It is

a stunning coastline complete with some of the best beaches in Europe, magnificent scenery, Moorish architecture and the infamous fishing villages. There is no doubt that this place, described as “the end of the world”, should be on everybody’s vacation list!

For nightlife like no other, Lisbon is the des2. tination, as the capital of the country; it has a cultural and bohemian heart that comes alive at night. I would recommend the district of Bairro Alto to explore the sleek bars, alternative fashion shops and never ending graffiti-sprayed facades, which portray a highly explosive mixture

of Lisbon’s music subcultures and endless party animals. simple as it may seem, take your student 3. As card. We student-folk love a good discount

and many destinations issue a concession for students, so glue your student card to your rucksack, as every little helps. With regards to the language, to the unini-

Portuguese gives off a Spanish-esque 4. tiated feel. However, saying “gracias” will only

get you funny looks, especially in fishing villages where the locals haven’t stepped four metres out of their town. So take a phrase book and in no time the word “obrigado” (thank you) will be rolling off your tongue. essential commandment regarding Por5. One tuguese dining etiquette is whatever you eat

you must pay for, whether or not you ordered it. Waiters bring goodies to your table the moment you sit down and unbeknown to us, this unordered appetizer is called couvert. It can cost anywhere from €1 per person to over €14. But if you don’t want it, you can send it away; that’s if you can resist the scrummy bread and olives.


The University of Coimbra will give you a flashback to the old school days with its ex-

Mum’s the word

Sometimes, things go wrong. Here’s advice for some of life’s little trials. Defrosting the freezer: It’s just one of many things which, before

student-hood, existed somewhere on the periphery of my blissfully small radius of awareness. Who knew there could be so much ice in such a small space? When only my peas were entombed in the top drawer, I coped. But when I couldn’t get the Ben and Jerry’s out either, I felt emergency action was needed. Just like The IT Crowd, I tried turning it off and on again, to melt the ice. However, I soon found that ice becomes a puddle of water on the floor and all over my socks. Mum to the rescue! Apparently the trick is to take the drawers out, and then put a washing up bowl in the bottom and some old towels on the floor. If you’re stuck with leftover food, it’s best cooked and then refrozen. You’re welcome. Elizabeth Archer

Fixing the tumble dryer: Usually when broken, red lights blink furiously at you. If there aren’t any lights on then you should probably just flick the power on at the wall. (It happens to the best of us!). If you’ve got red lights then remain calm; you can always turn it off and blame your flatmate later. Firstly, you need to check the filter. This tends to be in the door or at the bottom behind a little flap. Just pull it out and remove the hair grips and grime. (Note: make sure you drain away any water from inside first or you’ll flood the joint). If your tumble dryer still won’t work then it’s probably the kind that collects water. At the very bottom there should be a little door, behind which will be a water container that should pull out to be emptied. You might need to switch it off then on again before it works. If your washer/dryer still doesn’t work... call an electrician. Even Mums don’t know everything. Emma Moody

travagant architecture overshadowing the nearby buildings, making even the most die-hard advocate of informal learning change their mind about education. those football lovers the Estádio do 7. For Dragão (Dragon Stadium) is a great visit. It

is the current home ground of F.C. Porto and therefore it is any football fan’s duty to give it a look. piri piri chicken? The spice piri piri 8. Nandos originates from the Portuguese isles, so if

you fancy the real thing then most restaurants offer this dish. Although a Nandos may never taste the same again. are your thing then the Madiera 9. IfFilmfestivals Festival and Optimus Primavera Sound

are right up your street. One is centred on films and the other rock music; however both are essential for a fun-loving traveller craving something different.

as everyone knows, Portugal’s cli10. Finally, mate is nothing but a blessing in compari-

son to the UK. Therefore, all year round you can expect some sun. So, if you’re feeling a weekend or winter break, Portugal is the place to be. Aidoia Puig-delfin

Trending Topics of the week #Thatcher A mix of respectful and disrespectful tweets about the one and only ‘Iron Lady’ caused both #Thatcher and #primeminister to trend. Unsurprisingly even in death she is as controversial as ever. #FACUP The FA Cup held its thrilling penultimate game at Wembley Stadium on 14th April resulting in Manchester City defeating Chelsea 2-1. Manchester City will now take on Wigan Athletic in the FA Cup final on 11th May. #AnneFrank Justin Bieber got Frank when he wrote in the Anne Frank House visiting book that he hoped Anne Frank ‘would have been a belieber’. Modest as ever Biebs. #NUFC #NUFC was a local trend following the Newcastle, Sunderland derby on 14th April. Nufc embarrassed themselves twofold, not only did they suffer a disappointing 3-0 loss, but after the match furious fans caused scenes of vandalism and violence in the streets. One magpie fan punched a police horse, 27 fans were arrested and 3 police officers injured; a true Sunday of shame for Newcastle. TOP TWEETS @NUFCOfficialPardew: “An Ugly Day”: Alan Pardew was disappointed that “nothing went right” for Newcastle as they lost 3-0 to local rivals Sunderland @BuzzFeedAndrew “Who is Anne Frank and why did Justin Bieber go to her house? He never comes to my house. Jealous”- Beliebers everywhere Molly Deaville

Monday Still looking for next year’s house. Flatmates want to stay in Jesmond, but I’m desperate for some- where edgier. Fenham’s alright, but there’s a great vibe in Byker. Feel bad for arguing, so treat everyone to my speciality - Ghetto Pan au Chocolat. You buy the 15p bread from the clearance bin, nick a jar of Nutella, and make a tonne of chocolate toast. I know it’s not exactly smashing the system, paying for the bread, but my hoodie isn’t baggy enough for a whole loaf. Tuesday Got mugged on the way home. Flatmates keep freaking out and telling me to go to the police, but I don’t want to, just in case they’ve been investigating the Nutella thing. Turns out to be very liberating, living without material things. I don’t need an iPad. Even my phone and passport were just dragging me down, you know? Luckily I found my old iPhone at the back of the wardrobe and I have a netbook I don’t use. Wallet might be an issue though. Wednesday First day without materialism. Dressed up as an urban neo-hippy. It’s my music festival outfit, but with sandals instead of Hunter wellies. Walked to lectures instead of the Metro, only missed the first half. Got my personal tutor to buy me a sandwich. Thought about teaching myself yoga or meditation or whatever but the netbook still isn’t set up yet so I can’t Google it. Thursday Food running low. Decided my new ethical lifestyle means it’s ok to borrow the odd bit of pasta from my flatmates. They got pissed off and all went to TupTup without me, which I couldn’t afford. Went to WHQ instead - thought it’d be a cool, understanding place but even they tried charging me an entrance fee. Ridiculous. Friday Starving. Like, literally starving. Found my old Nectar card from living in Hendo. Got to Sainsbury’s, only had £2.57 on the card. Tried buying the cheapest stuff they had, but it only came to some potato waffles, two tins of rice pudding, some out-of-date hummus and a pack of pancakes. Back to Jesmond Dene, sat in the pet cemetery and ate all the pancakes, crying. Made myself hummus waffles for dinner. Hummus tastes slightly fizzy and has a few tiny specks of green in it, so I’m just pretending its lemon-andcoriander flavoured. Saturday Think I may have food poisoning. No more hummus. No more hippy stuff. Called the police, called the bank, called my parents. Not too much they can do about the mugging, and the passport stuff might take a while, but at least I’ve got a nice big Ocado delivery coming in an hour. Sorted. Becca Price Illustrations: Daisy Billowes


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Listings Editor: Sally Priddle


Academic Roadshow 11am-2pm The Cube, Students’ Union

Our Academic Adviser will be on hand to promote our academic services and draw attention to good academic conduct in the run up to stressful exam periods. Your chance to ask any exam related questions: PEC Forms, Appeals, Missed Exams etc and there will be plenty of fun activities, sweets and freebies!

Noises Off 7.30pm Theatre Royal

Michael Frayn’s multi award-winning backstage comedy Noises Off is hailed as one of the greatest British comedies ever written. This celebrated play serves up a riotous double bill – a play within a play. Hurtling along at breakneck speed it follows the backstage antics of a touring theatre company as they stumble their way through rehearsals, to a shambolic first night in Weston-super-Mare, and a final disastrous performance in Stockton-on-Tees. Tickets from £9 available from Theatre

Tuesday Bright Club: Where comedy meets brains 7pm The Stand Comedy Club

After two sell-out years on the Newcastle comedy scene, Bright Club Newcastle is coming to The Stand. Blending comedy, music, art, new writing, science, performance and anything else that can happen on a stage, Bright Club is the thinking person’s variety night. Organised by The Centre for Life in collaboration with Newcastle and Northumbria Universities, we’ll be welcoming to the stage some of the North East’s finest academics and students, along with comics and performers for a variety night like no other.

A good yarn

7pm Tyneside Cinema Bar

If you’ve never knitted (or crocheted!) before never fear, as Tyneside Cinema’s very own knitting queen Jenny Payne is here to welcome you and help you get started. Cheap drinks, a good time and free entry.

Wednesday Give It A Go: Language Taster Japanese

12pm History Room, Students’ Union

A beginner’s session and an opportunity to learn some key phrases and words from the Japanese language thanks to the Anglo-Japanese society. Come along and get a feel for the language, try something new and see if it is something you want to pursue. Tickets available from the Students’ Union Activities Corridor with refundable £1 deposit.

Walking with Dinosaurs

7.30pm, 24th-28th April MetroRadio Arena

Welcome to the visually exciting and thrilling firsthand experience of walking with dinosaurs. Learn about the different periods of dinosaurs and see a spectacular show that has awed shows the world over. Tickets from £35 available fromMetroRadio Arena’s box office or website.

Thursday GIAG: Discovery Museum 1.30pm

Join us for an afternoon of discovery of Newcastle and Tyneside’s history as we take you to Newcastle’s Discovery Museum. Enjoy exhibitions and interactive displays showcasing the area’s history and famous figures. What will you discover? Tickets available from the Students’ Union Activities Corridor with refunable £1 deposit.

Requim for Adam 7.45pm Theatre Royal Studio

Adam waits outside the Pearly Gates for God. Armed with ‘new evidence’ he prepares to fight for his right to a place in Paradise. But is God listening? Inspired by Mark Twain’s The Diaries of Adam and Eve. Tickets £4 available from Theatre Royal’s box office or website.

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Monday 22 April 2013 | @Courier_Listings

Friday Canterbury

6.30pm o2 Academy

English rock band, formed in 2005, ready to show you what eight years of hardwork, sweat and music talent creates. The band consists of guitarist and vocalist Mike Sparks, bassist and vocalist Luke Prebble, guitarist James Pipe and drummer Scott Peters. Tickets £10 available from o2 academy’s box office and website.

Something for the weekend AU Cheerleading Open Day 1pm, Saturday 27th April Sports Centre

We’re looking for both guys and girls to come and try stunting and gymnastics with qualified coaches. We’ll be covering the basics as well as high level tosses, tumbles and pyramids. No pom-poms involved!

Mick Hucknall Live 7pm City Hall

Mick is renowned for his great interpretations of others’ songs, having already had global hits with ‘Money’s Too Tight To Mention’, ‘If You Don’t Know Me By Now’ and ‘You Make Me Feel Brand New’. The start of Hucknall’s solo career gives him free rein to record, together on one album, his favourites from his own personal journey through the American soul genre including classics songs such as ‘I Only Have Eyes For You, I’d Rather Go Blind’ and ‘That’s How Strong My Love Is’. Tickets available from £35 available from City Hall’s box office and website.

GIAG: Tennis

2pm, Saturday 27th April Leazes’ Park

Tennis lessons for anyone from complete beginners. Equipment provided. Limited spaces available. Book through Go Play

Alnwick Castle and Gardens Day Trip 9am-5pm, Sunday 28th April

The Friday Show 7pm The Stand Comedy Club

There’s no better way to end the working week than with The Friday Show. Our ace comperes, seasoned headliners and roster of up and coming home grown comedians combine in this two hour live show. There’s five acts on every bill including the very best comics from the UK and beyond. Tickets £12 available from The Stand’s box office and website.

Spektrum: Tommy Trash 11pm Venue, Students’ Union

Austrailian Electro DJ and producer, known for his work, remixes and collaborations on tracks like SubFocus’ ‘Endorphins’ and Swedish House Mafia’s and Knife Party’s ‘Antidote’. Your chance to enjoy international stars on your doorstep. Tickets available on the door.

Architecture Society has teamed up with Give it a Go and Go Global to take you to the jewel of the North East. Stroll around one of the largest inhabited castles in the UK; step foot on the famous films sets from films including Harry Potter and Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Get up close and personal with deadly plants in the Poison Garden, marvel at the spectacular Grand Cascade displays and wind your way through the Serpent Garden to find its secrets hidden in its coils. Tickets available from Activities Centre for only £15.

Humoro Klubas 2pm The Stand Comedy Club

After the successful 2012 tour throughout the UK, the guys from Lithuanian stand-up crew Humoro Klubas are returning with a brand new show. Usually touring with five to seven members, this time Humoro Klubas sends its advance party: Justinas Jankevičius, well-known TV and radio personality, Mantas Katleris, one of the most popular Lithuanian’s on “Facebook” and Paulius Ambrazevičius, quiz master, author, translator & quiz master king. Tickets £12 for students available from The Stand’s box office and website.

Event of the week

Sailing Club: Bond Casino and Afterparty 25 April , 8.30pm Venue, Students’ Union

Prepare yourselves for a night of glamour, gambling and games as NUSYC takes you to a place where Bond is King and all Martinis are shaken, not stirred. This is a night not to be missed, with tickets costing just £7 and including £5 FREE fun money casino credit. You’ll also get to watch amazing performances from some of the most glamorous clubs on campus, one of which will be revealed each week, with the night ending in a “50 Years of Bond” style after party with sweet beats from our very own NU:DJ club. The dress code is obviously Bond too - we’re thinking cocktail dresses and snappy suits and the biggest winner of the evening gets a massive £100 cash prize, with other brilliant prizes including paintballing trips, poker sets and bottles of champagne. So get your glad rags on, get a ticket and get excited for the biggest and most fabulous night of the year, courtesy of NUSYC. Tickets will be sold outside the union and at the reception of the union.

Something Free:

The Hancocks: Scientists in the Studio 24 April- 21st May The Great North Museum The students of the Interpretation & Exhibitions module at ICCHS invite you to their temporary exhibition that explores the name the Great North Museum’s Doors: The Hancocks. Discover the importance of 19th century scientific discovery and artistic representation. Come and see taxidermy, scientific specimens and artworks from the Hancock’s collection.

NSR: Show of the Week


Fridays 12pm-1pm For all your sporting needs this week. Lots of chat about the beloved Newcastle United Student analysis of the biggest sports stories of the week Fables predictions of the premiere league games from the wise minds of your fellow students.

Why people should listen Because you love sport

Something to look forward to

The Woman in Black 20th-25th May Theatre Royal

You’ve all heard of it and now it is time to be scared out of your wits by the power and intensity of careful crafted live theatre. This show is not to be missed, a unique experience that draws the audience into a haunting world that has wowed many the world over. Tickets £12 for students available from Theatre Royal’s box office and website.


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

The Hurts rocker: out of Exile

Hot on the heels of the sophomore album Exile, and just in time for their upcoming UK tour, Josh Nicholson catches up with Hurts’ synth player Adam Anderson to chat music, sport, his friendship with band-mate Theo and his admiration for his banjo-playing Grandad...


fter a three year ‘Exile’ and persistent touring round Europe Hurts have come back with a new album and a slightly different sound. The synth-ballad style has been replaced with a grittier guitar and a sound not too far from early Radiohead. Although Theo Hutchcraft is the undeniably more noticeable character in the band, Adam Anderson seems like a local Manchester lad who hasn’t forgotten his roots. In addition to this clear connection to his past, Anderson is clearly grateful for all the things in his life that have happened to him; fortuitous sporting injuries, finding his best mate in a night club and being indebted to his grandad. I started by mistakenly asking about how the tour was going. I’d wanted tickets myself, but never checked the date so merely presumed that they had been going for a while. How wrong I was; “The tour hasn’t properly kicked off yet, we start in two weeks so we will see how it goes”. If first impressions are anything to go by, I royally cocked this one up. Instantly I thought to myself ‘he definitely thinks I’m a dickhead’. Talking to one of your heroes isn’t as easy as you’d think, I had an A4 sheet of paper primed and ready with ques-

tions that were to be asked, but that was quickly scrapped as we move away from music (led by him, interestingly enough, probably out of utter boredom of repetitive questions about Exile and the tour). The band formed when the two likely lads met in a Manchester nightclub whilst their mates were fighting. They were ‘too pissed’ to get involved so took the opportunity to talk about music and sport. Their first single ‘Wonderful Life’ came about from a YouTube video shot for twenty pounds which went viral. They are grateful of the YouTube support says Anderson: “Without it we’d be nowhere… It helped us get noted not just in England but all over Europe”. So, YouTube can breed some decent stars, not just the likes of Bieber and Maynard. Talent can be found, and for the right reasons. “We do not have a bad word to say about YouTube” Adam ruminates. It not only “helps get the band out there but it helps you to get your message worldwide”, clearly shown by how much time they spend working in different countries. Both their albums have charted at number two in Switzerland, and their criti- cally acclaimed debut Happiness went platinum in five European countries. As well as a passion for music, Anderson is very up on his sporting knowledge. A Manchester United fan, he was still reeling in the defeat to Real Madrid. “It’s dark times”, he says. But then he goes on to explain his love for exercise and from a young age he was just like any young boy who enjoyed his sport and tells me that he used to be a really good footballer before dislocating his knee. “A week after my injury I got my first guitar”, he recalls. Who can deny that everything happens for a reason now? Music clearly runs in his family. His grandad, who he sees as his role model, was a wartime entertainer who played the banjo, so these genes may help his musical talents. As well as sport Anderson confesses his love of art to me. He compares making music to “like painting a picture, as you have to build upon what you have to create

something beautiful.” He says that he has recently started to really like photography, and has become obsessed with instagram. He says he likes to “do normal things” to help him relax and it helps shows the fans where they are and what they are up to. He says he enjoys doing ‘normal’ activities as it helps him stay in touch with the real world and not be in a musical bubble all the time. This is quite a testament to his character really, as he is clearly very philosophical about life and grateful for everything that he owns. As well as this though, he says being in a band with Theo is “amazing, because we’ve been through so much together”, again showing his grounded views on life and gratefulness to his closest friend and band-mate. The Hurts boys are more than just band-mates, they’re proper best mates, “Theo lives in a bit of a fantasy world, whereas I’m quite down to earth so we have a nice balance”. They’ve been through thick and thin, depression and elation, together. When the two of them were struggling on benefits with no hope they turned up to their local JobCentre in suits. “[We did it] to make ourselves feel better” Anderson says, with a calmness that suggests it’s odd not to turn up to a dower place in smart clothing. Answers like this are what strike me about Hurts, the sheer normality. It sounds ridiculous but it’s true. You expect popstars to live in some form of bubble, that the ‘real’ world does not affect them. Bar the fact that Hutchcraft can often be “a bit optimistic”, the counteraction of Anderson’s calmness brings a great balance to both their music and life. ‘There is a bond that exists’ he says. The care and friendship he clearly highlights between him and Theo is so strong that it almost makes that Friday night out in Manchester seem like some form of prophecy. It’s always interesting to delve deeper into the back story of such musicians. Coming from a working class area of Manchester, both Theo Hutchcraft and Adam Anderson have had an immense rise to fame. Many people quote people such as Barack Obama, Tony Blair and even their mums as heroes, but Anderson speaks of his grandad. He says in the times he was “looked down on a lot” he always used to think of him. He died at the tender age of 101, with Anderson telling me that he “smoked 20 a day, ate a chippy every day and had nice smelling shoes”, and saying that he “always used to think it would be good to be like him”. These values are clearly drilled into him. His work ethic, style and personality are reminiscent of his grandad and it’s seen in his blunt realism about Hurts. He continues and tells me that “there are points where you lose your mind, and you can be quite

lonely”. The memory of his grandad’s values has helped him through these times, he says, and has made him appreciate his fame and music more than he may have done. There are not many people who can say that they used to go to the job centre in a suit every day and are now touring the world playing music to thousands of people every night. After going worldwide with ‘Wonderful Life’ they’ve been massively popular in Eastern Europe and probably spend more time there than they do here. Maybe the song reflects their experiences quite well. “We get to go to some amazing places” proclaims Anderson with the sigh of a man who does not want to be in England anymore and is fantasising about foreign lands. Iceland seems to hold a place in the hearts of many for its low price frozen goods, but for them it is clearly shown in Anderson’s tone of voice that they enjoy playing there. “I guess you

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Monday 22 April 2013

“Theo lives in a bit of a fantasy world, whereas I’m quite down to earth so we have a nice balance”

never think your music will end up in Iceland”, and I don’t think he was talking about the bargain bucket. Although he is quite brief in surmising his favourite country, there are many more interesting places that they have played and experiences they have had. It has been said that whilst touring Happiness they ended up singing karaoke with Jackie Chan. Not many people can say they have been on a night out with one of the original martial arts masters. The new album Exile has been out for a few weeks now and has faced mixed reactions from fans and critics alike. The obvious comparison is to Depeche Mode with their epic powerful synth riffs but the new album is inspired by many more bands than one. “We love a lot of

music, Nine Inch Nails, old Radiohead, but we love pop music as well”. From speaking to Anderson it is clear that he is quite ambitious and competitive, something that ties in with his sporting past, but he also admits that it makes him “quite moody” if something does not work out how he wants it to. Having Theo there means they “help each other”, and like any great group or couple there is a great work life balance but when it comes down to it “everything we do works towards the band”. Hurt’s love of music is clearly not just within the mainstream. When in Verona, the band stayed in the house of an amateur soprano. There is evidence of some operatic moments on Happiness and a clearly well studied, well rounded taste in music. In past interviews Hurts have said that they like to take music back to the basics and create a song with nothing but the two of them and a piano. There is a clear drive behind their music and Adam knows

that he may not be perfect, saying that him and Theo “need each other” to balance one another’s extremes, but knows where he is and where he wants to be. There are some people you just know you would like to chat to all day and it would be like an old friend but in reality you’ve only just met. Adam Anderson is one of these people. People like Adam Anderson, a well-grounded young lad who is clearly highly appreciative of where he is and his Grandad’s nice smelling shoes. Who knows where he would be had he not damaged his knee playing football, but he’s doing a pretty decent job in music. People say you shouldn’t meet your heroes, but this is not one of those instances. Although their new album is a bit of a patchwork quilt of where they might be heading with their sound I wish them all the best. The working class lads from Manchester deserve all good things that come their way.


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editors: Grace Harvey

Whistle while you work... Searching for a new way to procrastinate? With exams ominously looming and deadlines just around the corner, we asked you how you cope with the long hours in the library The inspiration-seeking blogger

The Naked Truth “For out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” (Genesis 3:19)


respectable sort of gentleman once asked me about my life drawing. His first question was whether there are “young ladies modelling naked?” to which I sternly replied that life drawing was a very controlled and professional environment where people of all ages disrobe in the name of art, including young ladies. I could sense that my answer had been taken with relative disappointment. It may have been that he was expecting me to recall hedonistic scenes of debauchery: floozy harlots spinning around the room in a Valium ecstasy whilst

Having set up a blog a few months ago, I spend at least a few hours a day surfing the web for content. And you’re right in thinking it doesn’t actually take hours to find something to blog about. Often I know what I’m going to write about before I even lift my laptop lid, but you never know there might be something better out there and it’s important I’ve done all my research around the subject, isn’t it? That’s how I like to justify it to myself: ‘I’m not watching videos on youtube, I’m doing research’. And to be fair, writing my blog does get my brain working creatively so that I can write better essays in the long run. Well that’s the theory, if I ever get about to writing those essays. Millie Walton

The felt-tip gatherer As self admitted stationary hoarder, I’m the first to confess that things are out of hand. It’s essay and revision time, and before I even get a title on a word document I’ve colour coordinated my highlighters and checked twice that the 50 felt tips I got for my tenth birthday are arranged neatly in a pen pot. Post it notes are my personal favourite; I use the first one to write ‘Hello’ in fancy letters and then stow them safely away in my drawer, just in case a malicious stationary bandit steals them whilst I sleep. Eventually, it gets to the very sad moment at the end of the day, when I realize my word count is zero and I graduate in a month from which point, I will most likely never have use for miniature paper clips or my prized felt tips ever again. Ellie Cropper

The cocktail shaker

I scrawl violently in my sketchbook resting on my groin. Alas, this is not the case; the life drawing experience is more meditative than erotically provocative. Even the most tenacious pervert would find it difficult to gain pleasure from a model who stays motionless and silent for forty minutes. The calm sensation a good life drawing session creates is similar to that divine feeling a Buddhist monk must get after meditating on a sacred mountain. His peculiar second enquiry was to what one did if the life model happens to be a “homosexual’. I could only explain to this fellow that all I would do is draw him; any other ethical correction on my part would only lead to insult his misguided sensibilities. After all, he was only asking questions. The gentleman can almost be forgiven for his exaggerated outlook to what life drawing is. The general English reaction to the naked body is somewhat coy and prudish. A nipple is a forbidden sight to many; a traditionally raised Christian lad would have to wait until his marriage night for the right to a peek. This week’s column is not necessarily trying to convert the students of Newcastle University to naturism (our climate is far too cold for such frivolities), however it is a sad reality that such a universal artistic practice is still considered to be a radical activity. Everyday we wear the leather suite of our own skin so what’s stopping us from sharing and drawing it? The naked body is not necessarily always sexual, it’s just who we are. To a certain extent, the naïve societal attitude to nakedness can answer to why so many of us have long lists of insecurities about our own reflection. Many life models have commented that they have become more confident and comfortable with themselves since signing up to the job. Life drawing ultimately challenges the taboo of a naked body as well building up the artist’s technical abilities. This practice is not for all; some of you may deplore the idea of picking up a pencil for a creative purpose or standing naked and still for hours on end. But if you happen to be an avid sketcher or a scribbler, come along to one of Newcastle’s many life-drawing classes and become enlightened by its charms. James Ricketts

The YouTube wannabe star

Even if you’re not a bartender at Revolution, making your own cocktails can be a creative and delicious way to delay essay writing. While the fruit juice provides vital nutrients required for those long revision sessions and the alcohol calms those pre-exam nerves, the infinite combinations of ingredients produces a healthy way to procrastinate whilst stimulating your creativity and bringing out your inner confidence (Raspberry Mojito = Super food). And if you don’t have the necessary ingredients? Well, there’s always Osborne Road with its wide selection of Happy Hour cocktails to ensure that we can spend hours at a time replenishing those vital vitamins the night before the exam. Cocktail mixing and tasting (a fancy way of justifying their consumption) is an underrated art form, for sure, and should surely be encouraged during the tragedy that is the exam period. #bringitback

Ever thought about creating a music video for one of your favourite songs? Why not give it a go! All you will need is some creativity, a couple of fellow procrastinators and a video camera (the one on your phone is fine). You may wish to do a send up of a cheesy song, create a story, a dance video, or something more outside the box – let your imagination run free! If you are musically inclined, why not try writing your own song? You can play the music in the background, or use a basic program such as Windows Movie Maker to edit clips to music. A series of photos can also work well with songs that have specific dance moves, such as ‘The Macarena’, ‘YMCA’ or the ‘Chicken Dance’. Scripted or otherwise, this is an excellent creative outlet and the result is something that you can look back at with fond memories.

Emma Moody

Cathy Bundy

The phone doodler If the phone rings, and I subconsciously realise that I’m in for a long one, whether it be a gossip with my childhood best pal, or just my Mum ringing to tell me what next door have done with their rockery this time, my hand somehow always seeks out a pen and starts doodling. Back of an envelope is the usual territory or even, in extreme cases, I’ll get carried away and start needlessly enhancing the title on my lecture notes. I find that the subject of conversation or indeed who I’m talking can bring new inspiration to my own name. Suddenly its not just a name, but a full blown drawing, embellished with millions of flowers, shaded in with so much enthusiasm that I find myself scrawling all over the desk. Happy chat can produce some masterpieces, while a break up with a boyfriend- it’s probably better to just step away from the pen. Ellie Cropper

The gemstone seeker

The productive procrastinator Is there potential to artistically, productively, procrastinate? My friend’s history of art revision; gearing doodles towards hilarious depictions of renaissance artists, proves that it is both possible, and informatively beautiful. Although, these masterpieces are difficult to comprehend without an explanation from the virtuosic mind that created them. Leonardo Da Vinci was an Italian painter, sculptor and scientist, but my friend’s drawing depicts him very differently. He stands upon a cloud, draped in a dress with more vibrancy than a rainbow, and hair redder than a post box. One fears that he has drunk one too many of the hallucinogenic potions that sit around his feet, as wide eyed he clutches at his teddy bear, lightening narrowly missing his feminine curves. This tour de force is a thought provoking, gorgeous piece of revision that grew from dawdling drawings, and proof that there is such a thing as too much caffeine. Charlie Dearnley

The creative decorator

Opportunities to procrastinate often unveil themselves in the most unexpected circumstances, resulting in unusual yet intriguing discoveries. I found myself in one such situation today as a hapless train of events drew some friends and me into a holistic shop in the search for obscure jewellery. This decision was already so unremittingly arty it would have made Picasso recoil in his chair, and was taken a step further through the discovery of gemstones. These small rocks claimed to be filled with more spiritual juice than a church’s wine cellar, and I found myself scrutinizing each and every label trying to discern which stone was the most powerful. After extended research of reading into rocks and their mystical potency, and disappointedly discovering that there was no pebble of invisibility or boulder of flight I left empty handed, and went to buy a Kit Kat instead.

This is something that a lot of student houses do to a certain extent – cover a wall with pieces of paper where funny quotes and doodles can be scribbled throughout the year. But why stop there? Last year, myself and a housemate transformed our kitchen into a library to avoid revision during the bleakness of January exams. Bored of working and perhaps even a little convinced that this would help motivate us in our later revision efforts, we cut out words from magazines to form amusing book-titles and stuck these to colourful backgrounds to create books on shelves, drew an almost life-sized librarian and wrote a list of our own library rules to create a workspace far more interesting than the monotony of the real library. We then decorated the living room as a bar so that we could reward ourselves for all of our hard work.

Charlie Dearnley

Cathy Bundy

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Monday 22 April 2013 | @courier_arts


Spotlight on...

Hot Pants & High Tops Northern Stage, 8 - 9 March


have attended the University dance show ever since I started at Newcastle four years ago and year-by-year the standard of choreography, skill of the dancers and general creativity has improved and this year was no difference. In fact I would go as far to say that the unique creativity shown in this year’s dance show blew the previous shows out the water. The variety of dances showcased different levels of experience and styles of dance, but most of all highlighted the talent of the organisers of this year’s show. Humour and originality was brought into areas of dance that can regularly remain uninspirational; I found this particularly with the combination of beginners ballet and lyrical in a wonderful play on the story of Alice in Wonderland. The unanimous favourite of the whole audience was the delightful duet between dance president Charlie Burt and Chris Envy who together performed an enchanting swing dance that combined modern inspiration and perfectly executed swing moves. Another highlight of the show was the street dancers, who successfully entertained the crowd with energy, humour and originality, demonstrating how street dance provides each dancer the chance to bring their personality to the routine, letting each individual shine as well as working perfectly as a team with spectacular timing

photo by Natalie Hong Li Tay

and unison. The dance society is special because it provides all levels of experience and skill with the chance to be part of something that so many people get to enjoy. The show demonstrated this inclusivity and gave each member the chance to show how much they enjoyed performing and the hard work they have put in all year. It truly was a credit to the University and thoroughly enjoyed by all. Sally Priddle

Noises Off


Theatre Royal 8 - 9 March

or all the drama on-stage at the theatre, there’s always something more ridiculous happening behind the scenes – or so, that’s the premise of hit stage comedy Noises Off, which makes its way to the Theatre Royal this week. The so-called “farce from behind” (don’t look at me, those are writer Lynn Redgrave’s words) reveals the backstage goings-on of play-within-aplay ‘Nothing On’. With acts depicting calamitous rehearsals and even shoddier performances of ‘Nothing On’, expect much confusion and blurred lines between on-stage and off-stage-but-still-onstage foolishness through a series of disastrous recitals. And if it’s value for money that you’re after (a rare luxury purchase for pocket-pinched students), you can’t go wrong with two plays in one. If that doesn’t sway you, Noises Off has won several major awards and is considered “one of the greatest British comedies ever written”. This touring production comes fresh from a sell-out run in London, having survived the number of raving five-star reviews flung its way. It’s not often students make it down to the theatre, but make sure you do. Guaranteed to be funnier and more memorable than a night just up the road in Basement. Ben Travis

NT’s Connections Festival


Theatre Royal 8 - 9 March

hilst the final year students are hibernating in the library thanks to dissertation woes, a casket full of innovative, fresh theatre making gems is coming to the Toon. In it’s third year, the National Theatre’s Connections Festival will bring ten brand new plays, performed by 13-19 year olds, to stages all over Britain, a theatre extravaganza that’s not to be missed. Northern Stage will welcome ten local youth theatre companies from the North East to perform six different plays over the course of five days. These include Ailie and the Alien, a humanextra-terrestrial love story, We Lost Elijah, set at the time of the London riots, What Are They Like? about the ups and downs of adolescence, Mobile Phone Show, a ‘communication cacophony’, Don’t Feed The Animals about the rescue of a circus and 45 Minutes, a play revolving around the nervewrecking final minutes before the UCAS application deadline. With this fantastic variety right on the university’s doorstep, pop into Northern Stage to see the very best of Britain’s new writing and the North East’s young theatre talent. Unless you’re writing your dissertation. See you in the library. Lisa Bernhardt


Casa Bellini Burlesque


People’s Theatre 27 April

Rent - the Musical


Tyne Theatre 28 April

asa Bellini Burlesque has fast gained reputation as Newcastle’s best and most sensational Burlesque night and now’s your chance to find out why. Hosted and organised by Newcastle’s very own premier Burlesque artist, Constance Peach, Casa Bellini offers a fun filled and slightly saucy night of comedy, performance art and showgirl stardom. Whilst Burlesque in Newcastle is usually showcased in small bars and clubs, Casa Bellini has found its home at the People’s Theatre so as to provide audience members with the full-on, sensual showgirl experience. Despite the sleazy reputation of Burlesque, the majority of the company’s audiences are female and its aim is to entertain through beauty and comedy rather than through vulgarity. Casa Bellini is all about titillation and teasing. You are welcomed by a glittering reception and then treated to the talents of the girls themselves: Coco Malone, Heidi Bang Tidy, Heavy Petting and Bettina Spankenhaus to name but a few. And as if the night couldn’t get any more ‘Moulin Rouge’-esque, it’s led by the ringmaster and compere extraordinaire, Baron Bartholomew Black. If you’re shyly curious or a self-admitted Burlesque lover, this night is guaranteed to at the very least break the monotony of revision. So gather your housemates, boyfriend or date and head down to Tyne theatre for a sensual night of vintage glamour and decadence.

o celebrate its 20th anniversary, ‘Rent’ goes on a UK tour with a one night only performance at Newcastle’s Tyne Theatre. The smash hit Broadway musical, with numerous, highly prestigious awards under its belt, including the Tony Award for best musical and the Pulitzer Prize for drama, already looks set to take the UK by storm. Written by Jonathan Larson and set in the avant-garde Manhattan neighbourhood, East Village, ‘Rent’ is an uplifting tale about falling in love, finding your voice and seizing the moment. Based loosely on the beautiful opera, Puccini’s La Boheme, but without the lengthy Italian arias, the story follows a year in the life of a group of impoverished young artists and musicians battling to make it in New York City under the looming shadow of HIV/AIDS. To the excitement of many, West End and Broadway leading lady Kerry Ellis stars in this newest production along with runner up of ITV’s Superstar, Rory Taylor. With a hugely talented cast, a variety of catchy pop/rock songs and a story that resonates with audiences of all ages, the newest production of Rent looks set to live up to all the hype and it’s definitely worth ditching a few hours of revision to see.

Millie Walton

Millie Walton

David Maljkovic

Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art 15 March - 30 June


ources in the Air demonstrates an overview of the Croatian artist David Maljkovic’s modernism, utopian orientation and unconventional curatorial approach to art from the past decade to present day. Maljkovic’s installation straddles an array of mediums spanning across painting, drawing, collage, sculpture and video. The conversation that bounces between each medium is alive with atmosphere and architecture. Upon entering the space, one is firstly confronted, not with the artwork but the mechanics behind the images. You are lead through a dimly lit corridor lined with elegant 16mm projectors. Acting like kinetic sculptures, they bring your attention to the nature and beauty of the machines, drawing focus further into each piece. Their presence encourages you to view the work from unconventional angles, broadening your view and understanding of the installation. Both ‘Time as Perspective’ and ‘Sources in the Air’ share the notion of an atmospheric and intellectual playground. Maljkovic questions the traditional formatting of projection with large, geometric, architectural constructions framing the moving image. The subtle and soothing hum of the projectors fills the main body of the installation, creating an ambient world in which to adventure. While mimicking much of the Baltic’s architecture, the installation offers an alternate reality that enthralls the senses. Adam Godwin

Fabrice Hyber

Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art 22 March - 30 June


abrice Hyber stated that, “a work of art is the beginning of a sentence that is not completed” without the audience. His recent interactive installation in BALTIC radiates this concept, as the audience is invited to delve into a “mental spa” that invalidates the interior and exterior, whilst constantly utilizing raw materials. Divided into three sections, the audience begins by being presented with a number of largescale, explanatory storyboard drawings, before encountering ‘Un Metre Cube de Beauté’. A collaborative sculpture with Yves Saint Laurent, depicting a one metre wooden cube covered in red lipstick. This unusual medium results in a seductively sublime surface texture that remains malleable and in constant flux, a stark and intriguing contrast to the raw materials used throughout the rest of the exhibition. The remaining two sections contained a series of interactive artworks that involved: liberating natural elements from within wooden boxes, walking through a field of paintings, and stepping inside a construction made entirely of fridges. Constantly challenging our predefined division of the interior and exterior, and continuing the running theme of raw materials, the work was easily and playfully accessible. Although it didn’t interactively immerse me as much as I had hoped, Hyber’s exhibition was still an enjoyable artist’s playground, with a powerful unremitting concept. Charlie Dearnley


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Music Editors: Sam Summers and Chris Haywood Online Music Editor: Sophie Coletta

How to Buy... Trip Hop


Yeah Yeah Yeahs


Trip-hop is a blend of electronica and downtempo hip-hop, while being urban and ethereal, thought-provoking, sensual and deep. It is all that and more. If that sounds like your thing, Joseph Milburn shows you where to dive in ... For Beginners:

Bonobo Black Sands (2010) Bonobo’s album Black Sands is one of the best primarily instrumental albums out there, using a wide variety of samples combined with heavy, often complex basslines. From the spiralling and symphonic to the Afro-inflected guitar, skittish flute and the combination of Oriental strings with cut-up beats, the album’s multifaceted sound is truly expansive and accomplished. The music flows with a calm and euphoric energy, soundscapes that will send chills down your spine and touch your heart. A classic of the genre.

For Experts:

t’s been four years since Yeah Yeah Yeahs released It’s Blitz!, and while some love Karen O and co’s alt-rock output, they’re still not overly commercially successful, even after a 13 year career and four studio albums. It says a lot that their most popular offering on Spotify is a remix. But will Mosquito change all this? Will it propel them into the public consciousness where they deserve to be - filling up stadia and rewarding a career spanning over a decade? Well probably not, no. But that doesn’t stop Mosquito being really, really good. It has some of the band’s best songs since the likes of ‘Art Star’ and ‘Date With the Night’, but the raw, untapped aggression that made their earlier songs wild and potentially difficult to listen to has been siphoned out a little bit. So now with this album there seems to be more structure, more maturity to the songs, as opposed to launching a great big fat fucking fire tornado at you from your speakers that leaves you running whilst Karen maniacally banshees you up from the speakers. The title track is a good example of this restraint. “I’ll suck your blood! I’ll suck your blood! I’LL SUCK YOUR BLOOD!” doesn’t sound quite as animalistic, and actually doesn’t sound all that unappealing anymore, with the typical Nick Zinner guitars framing the whole song brilliantly. Basically, the small elements of restraint have combined to create a cracking song. Its maturity is also reflected in its varying styles. ‘Under the Earth’ is apparently influenced by roots reggae, and opener ‘Sacrilege’ boasts a gospel choir, which, to its credit, sounds huge. LCD Soundsytem supremo James Murphy pops up, producing ‘Bur-

ied Alive’ which also boasts rapper Kool Keith, in the guise of Dr Octagon. A rapper! On a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song! And it’s pretty good! Mad.

With this album there seems to be more structure, more maturity to the songs... The only real downside is that with the new found experimentation with synthesisers and the ‘roots reggae’ that apparently appears on ‘Under The Earth’ is that sometimes the meanings and the structure of the songs can become lost, too chilled out and lackadaisical. Take ‘These Paths’ for example, which is described by the band as a Dave Sitek track that’s “heavily influenced by medical marijuana” and something that has them “really connect with the desert”. She’s hit the nail on the head there, too. It sounds as though someone’s lost and really stoned, before the song ends and throws you into the madness of ‘Area 52’. Confusing stuff. So, overall, this album is a progression. It’s not aiming for the commercial success that It’s Blitz! was, but it’s not a regression back to the howling aggression of their earlier albums, even if they were the albums that captured our 15 year old ears. It’s confident, eclectic and well worth a listen. Recommended download: ‘Sacrilege’ Kris Holland

Save Rock And Roll Fall Out Boy

If you like this, try ... Kenickie At The Club YYY’s shouty female vocals and sonic experimentation were prefigured by many ‘90s punk bands, none more notable than Kenickie, fronted by 6 Music’s Lauren Laverne, and whose 1997 debut At The Club was nothing short of a masterpiece.




Kid Cudi

Nujabes Spiritual State (2011) Nujabes is known for a blending of jazz influences into his songs, which ultimately creates a mellow and atmospheric sound. The Japanese producer and DJ was one of the most prolific contributors to the background music and soundtracks of Samurai Champloo - an anime which blends a feudal Japan setting with modern anachronisms, especially in regard to hip hop culture such as graffiti and rapping. His final and posthumous album Spiritual State has both the freshness of his previous work as well as an element of nostalgia and almost tragedy considering the circumstances. This is the perfect album to listen to as you look upon the city lights across the water, staring at a shimmering reflection. Life and death, love and loss; all returns to music and music is immortal.

For The Bin: DJ Shadow The Outsider (2006) DJ Shadow’s The Outsider is unlike anything else he has ever produced; the result is a major disappointment. Shadow is clearly trying to break into the lucrative world of gangsta rap but the transition in genre is far from successful and the album is not up to scratch with the standard of his earlier work. I struggled to even listen to this one all the way through. Check out his 1996 masterpiece, Endtroducing…, for the sound of modern music re-invented and the defining album of its kind for the nineties.


all Out Boy are a pop band. I’ve come to accept as much. But whereas their previous two album releases left me entirely underwhelmed, this new-found acceptance of FOB’s place on the musical spectrum allows me to enjoy their latest record from a fresh perspective. Okay, so ‘Young Volcanoes’ is probably the only song here which could stand toe-to-toe with their early material but there’s still plenty to enjoy. You’ve probably already heard latest single, ‘The Phoenix’ which has a chorus so huge it could topple Everest. In many ways, that offering is indicative of what the full-length entails. In truth, the record is purely a showcase for Patrick Stump’s incredible vocal range but as anyone who heard his recent solo material can attest, Ol’ Stumpy is nothing without the hand of Pete Wentz behind the pen. My main worry is that like many pop records, Save Rock and Roll will quickly feel tired and outdated. So if you’re hankering for a bit of the old FOB then I’m afraid Save Rock and Roll will leave you entirely disappointed. Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree may well be two of this century’s most influential rock records but this new release is the sound of a band that have shed their skin. Even so, you can be sure they are ready to come out fighting. Save rock and roll they won’t, but if you’re willing to approach this record with an open mind, then you might just come away feeling that the future of pop is safe in Fall Out Boy’s hands. Recommended download: ‘November Song’ Chris Smith Head over to the wesbite,, for a round up of all the big albums we missed over the Easter break.



Recommended download: ‘Beez’

Recommended download: ‘S.O.S. In Bel Air’

ip hop needs Kid Cudi: he is consistently fresh and experimental, while eschewing every hip hop stereotype there is; the words ‘guns’, ‘bitches’ and ‘bling’ simply aren’t in his vocabulary. At the same time, his last album, WZRD, was an unmitigated disaster. Over a year later and Cudi has harnessed his love of different genres, using it to produce the genuinely innovative and exciting rap record that is Indicud, a record of the calibre we all knew he was capable of. The overture, ‘The Resurrection of Scott Mescudi’, is an epic synth/horn-lead monster of an introduction that fades into ‘Unfuckwittable’, Cudi’s declaration of supremacy. The rest of the album is actually something of a who’s who, with features from RZA, Kendrick Lamar, Haim, A$AP Rocky, and Fleet Foxes’ Father John Misty giving this album an all-star feel. Far from being a publicity stunt, each featured artist brings more than just their name to the album. For example, Father John Misty brings an air of melancholy to ‘Young Lady’, and it is hard to imagine ‘Beez’ working half as well as it does without RZA’s dark, self-assured flow. Stand-out tracks include the aforementioned ‘Beez’, ‘Solo Dolo Part II’ (ft. Kendrick Lamar) and ‘Mad Solar’. The single, ‘Girls’, is disappointingly crass coming from Cudi, but is still laced with his trademark stoner-sadness. However, it is not the gems that make this album great, but the way it hangs together. From start to finish it feels like a carefully crafted project, rather than just a collection of decent rap songs. As a whole, the album smacks of someone with a real sense of creative vision, who has located their sound squarely on the margin of hip hop - right where it belongs.

Lewis Lister

olfgang Amadeus Phoenix finally put Phoenix on the map after nine years hard graft and three great, though largely ignored, albums. It was an album with a generous amount of gorgeously catchy singles with some more left field tracks to break things up; essentially a near perfect indie pop record that really puts them alongside other French breakouts such as Air and Daft Punk. Bankrupt! is less perfect, but it is clear that Phoenix have tried not to fall into the rut of monotony that following a breakthrough album usually can lead to. There are glimmers of Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix but mixed with more unusual, synthheavy turns, such as the excellent ‘S.O.S. In Bel Air’ and ‘Trying To Be Cool’ which sit as breezy summer pop songs that, at times, wouldn’t sound out of place on an excellent ‘80s radio station, and the Oriental riffs in ‘Entertainment’. An album that feels like it’s designed specifically for a beach party, it does help that occasionally the tone is brought down a little. The constant, bouncy vibrancy starts to go a tad stale when you begin to reach the Passion Pit-esque ‘Chloroform’, but luckily the title track breaks things up with a more brooding feel and ‘Bourgeois’ leads into the final track with an almost Washed Out-inspired wooziness, although closer ‘Oblique City’ does feel like a bit of a damp squib to finish with. With the success of Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, it seemed as though they might rest on their laurels coming into Bankrupt!, but instead they’ve decided to experiment and see what they can do with this new found success. All the more for it, because we get a great album packed with summery pop songs.

Chris Taylor

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013 | @courier_music

sceNE: Lulu James

Delving into the region’s exploding music scene, Lauren Stafford has a sit down with the North East’s biggest up-and-coming diva...


meet Lulu James before her gig at The Other Rooms in Newcastle as she’s trying on potential outfits. “Who did they make this for? Definitely not Beyoncé!” She leans on me for support as she shuffles into a miniature black dress. “One of the first things I told me record label, the whole team that I work with and me stylist was ‘look, anybody can go up there, wear a tiny skirt and shake their arse but that’s not me’”, she explains, her gravelly Geordie tones reverberating around the stripped-back interior of the club. “I’m all about showing power and putting across [the sense of] a powerful woman, because that’s what I am.” James has a commanding presence. I first saw her at Split Festival and there was something about her fiercely soulful voice amidst the smoke-machine haze which meant she appeared almost ethereal. That day she’d decided to perform whilst carrying a two metre long chastity belt made of out pure metal around her waist (“Once I was locked in then I was locked in! There was no getting out of it”). Her on-stage attire – or lack thereof – has become a point of contention for certain critics but she is quick to defend her choices. “I’m a very straightforward sort of person and I want that to be reflected in me fashion. It can come off sexy but that’s only if you want to put me in that light; at no point in my life have I ever tried to be sexy. I don’t have that need to portray sexiness! I love football and most of me friends are boys…” On cue, and as if to illustrate this, her band and producer Domzilla crash through the doors carrying various musical accouterment. “Y’alreeeet! Did you hear is on Amazing Radio this morning? Aye, I name-dropped ya! I was like, ‘[I] am gannin to The Toon Wall for a pint with Dom. I was dead good’”, she enthuses before we continue the interview. “I met Dom at Generator. We kind of just bantered

on and we got good stuff out of it. I began to feel comfortable with me ideas, with me vision. Since then everything has happened organically.” She describes her music as ‘21st Century Soul’ and is inspired by James Blake, Jamie XX, Mount Kimbie, Flying Lotus and Ghostpoet − “not because I fancy any of them,” she clarifies. “Actually, I was thinking the other day that I’m always mentioning the guys; in terms of women that have influenced me over the years there’s Whitney Houston, Celine Dion and Grace Jones. A Grammys performance with her would be class! Lulu James and Grace Jones! I get compared to her all the time.” It’s a fair analogy − there’s certainly a similar theatrical aspect to James’ live shows and she seems to revel in it. “[It’s] intense. Something I buzz off when I’m on stage is looking at certain people in the eye. Whatever crowd, whether I’m supporting or at a festival, I take that moment because they’re my crowd” she says, sipping her blue VK. “I really like to connect with people and even if I walk away and there’s one person I’ve connected with then that’s good enough for me.” The theme of reaching out to others is also prevalent in her lyrics. “I write about all of me experiences and anything that I think might give others hope or a positive attitude in whatever it is they’re facing at the time.” It’s been a hectic couple of months for James and things are only set to get busier. “I’ve got some fantastic shows. Bestival! In a years time I’d like to have my own 02 Arena tour. I’m really open-minded when it comes to music. I listen to a lot of different types. I’d love to get someone from the North East supporting me. I’m a big fan of the talent we have up here like Brolin. I don’t know if you know him? He’s just remixed ‘Closer’. Or maybe… James Blake,” she laughs like it’s entirely improbable but I’m not so sure − she strikes me as a woman who knows – and gets – what she wants.

The Academic Playlist

This week, we discover the music tastes of your favourite lecturers in the Centre for Music Studies.

Dr. Paul Attinello

Dr. Paul Fleet

Senior Lecturer in Music

Lecturer in Music

Head of Performance

Dr. Jamie Savan

Dr. Simon McKerrell

What music did you grow up to? I was a fiercely nerdy child; while my family listened to Herb Alpert (my father), Joni Mitchell (my sisters) and Iron Butterfly (my brother), I knew I had the key to everything when I heard Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring. I identified with Boulez and arcane high modernism for years.

What music did you grow up to? I formed a heavy metal band in my teenage years and spent most of my time listening to bands like Iron Maiden, Guns N’ Roses, Metallica and Skid Row, and guitarists like Joe Satriani and Steve Vai. These were often to be heard at critical volume from my Stereo Sony Walkman.

What music soundtracked your time at university? I kept listening to modernist music, but also learned a lot about gay social life in the late 70s and 80s, to a soundtrack of disco, dance tunes, and post-acid-rock fantasies like Jon Hassell. Later, in San Francisco, I sang in a lot in bars and clubs, which led to an incurable Sondheim addiction.

What music soundtracked your time at university? Whilst at university I became absolutely hooked on musics surrounding the turn of the Twentieth Century. Composers like Debussy, Nielsen, Ravel, Skryabin and in particular Ferruccio Busoni – the latter being the focus of my doctoral study here at Newcastle University.

What music did you grow up to? I listened to everything I could get my hands on – classical, jazz, 60s / 70s rock (which I guess was the influence of my parents, although always thought the music of their generation was so much more interesting than pop music of the 80s when I was growing up). I think the first record I bought was Nigel Kennedy playing Vivaldi’s Four Seasons in 1989.

What music did you grow up to? A lot of Bach and Rachmaninov played by my Dad in the house. Both my brothers are drummers so a lot of kit, snare drum and xylophone in the house. I used to practice for at least a couple of hours a day on the bagpipes and chanter. Recorded music would have been bagpipes, country, bluegrass and baroque--all very rhythmically emphatic.

What music are you listening to at the moment? I have a much quieter life in Newcastle, and that’s reflected in a liking for Stephan Micus and Peter Garland. There’s a surprising amount of Javanese gamelan clattering about the place. And, of course, I have to listen to music for my next lecture…

What music are you listening to at the moment? As I’m writing this, I’m listening to UNKLE and the track playing right now is ‘When Things Explode’ from War Stories. Fusion musics really interest me, and Lavelle and File’s heady mix of triphop and rock is regularly on my ‘recently played’.

What music soundtracked your time at university? At university I discovered a whole new world of early music, and especially the cornetto playing of Bruce Dickey whose solo CD was a huge inspiration. Otherwise, Wynton Marsalis was a big influence, and I listened to a lot of Frank Zappa too. What music are you listening to at the moment? I have a 6 CD changer in my car, where I do most of my listening these days. Right now I have quite a mix in there, from Back to Black by Amy Winehouse to Marsalis and Clapton Play the Blues.

Lecturer in Music

What music soundtracked your time at university? My friends. Almost all of my time as an undergraduate at conservatoire in Glasgow was spent playing traditional music with friends and doing the odd bit of reading, teaching and performing. What music are you listening to at the moment? Right now I’m listening to quite a bit Desi Wilkinson (Newcastle’s own!), Andras Schiff, Ricky Skaggs, Dean Martin, Colin Tilney, Archie Fisher, Billie Holiday, John MacLennan, Roddy MacLeod, Randy Newman, Dick Gaughan, Al Green (in the order I scrolled through my iPhone playlists).

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Turning the table on downloads Following Record Store Day 2013, there’s never been a better time to get acquainted with Newcastle’s three independent record shops. Editor Ben Travis explores what these stores have to offer that Amazon and HMV can’t provide


ecord shops are a wonderful thing. Home of the most enthusiastic collectors and hoarders this side of comic book shops, they attract a diverse range of characters: the old rockers, the die-hard fanatics, the young alternative kids, mid-20s enthusiasts. All have a common interest: a love of slabs of vinyl plastic with a spiral groove that, once in contact with a needle, produces music. Nothing digital, nothing compressed. Just needle on wax, amplified. Isn’t there something magical about that? Whilst the majority of the music-buying (and often not-buying) public has flocked to digital downloads, there are many who would agree. “People want the experience of holding something, of owning something,” says Rich Lattimore, manager of RPM Records. “People want the tangible, they want the artwork, they want to sit down, put it on and get the experience of needle to vinyl and – lo and behold – music.” RPM, now in its 25th year of trading, is one of three independent record shops still running in Newcastle city centre. Located in Highbridge, an area of town famed for vintage shops and comedy club The Stand, it primarily deals in second-hand stock. But to talk about RPM as a shop isn’t really to talk about RPM. “There’s a lot more to RPM than just coming and buying a record, you know?” says Rich. “The interaction with the staff, the people, the experience of buying or finding something that you hadn’t come in for, all these factors. You can buy anything online quickly and easily, but you don’t get the full experience that you would in a shop.” With economies struggling and online sales dominating the market, it’s impressive that so many independent music outlets are still trading in a relatively small city. “I think part of it is more to do with the fact that the shops have never gone head-to-head in directly competing with each other,” explains Rich. “Everyone overlaps, but every shop has its own area of speciality which is great for the customer. They all have their own identity. There’s a friendly record store community.” Enter Reflex, found on the edge of the Grainger Market opposite Wilkinsons. It deals more in new stock and reissued albums, but still remains a treasure-trove of black plastic riches. But in mainly housing new stock, what does Reflex provide that somewhere like, say, HMV can’t? “Traditionally, it’s been a focal point for music fans, a lot of people have met in record shops,” says sales assistant Jane Eaglesham. “We have a lot of regulars, you get to know peoples’ first names.”

Echoing Rich’s sentiments, it’s experience that record shops can provide over online purchases and digital downloads. “If you’re buying downloads, every purchase that you make is done just there sat at your computer. You don’t have the memory of ‘I bought this in Manchester’, or ‘I got this while I was in Leeds’ – it’s nice to have those little stories and remember when you bought something,” Jane muses. Head on further down town past the o2 Academy and towards the Centre for Life, and you end up at Beatdown Records, stocking a mix of new and second-hand records with a speciality in dance sub-genres and hip-hop. “If people do buy records, it’s nice to go into actual physical shops instead of just buying online,” reckons co-manager Paul Donley. “Although it’s more convenient, it takes a lot of the charm out of looking for things. If you go into a shop, you might find something you didn’t know you wanted. We get new stock in a lot, and even I don’t know what we’re going to get in.” Despite costing a little more than their smaller, shinier compact cousins, vinyl LPs (never ‘vinyls’, grammar fact fans) far outsell CDs in Beatdown. “With new releases we sell a lot more on vinyl than we do on CD, right across the board. It’s like anything in life really – if you want the best quality of stuff, you have to pay for it,” says Paul. It’s not just record shops that are precious to music fans of the North East –it’s the format itself; LPs, records, 12”, vinyl, whatever you might call it. Why, in an age where everything is becoming digitised and more compact, are sales of LPs increasing year-on-year? As a music fan, there’s nothing like owning a physical release to truly interact with an album. An mp3 file is nothing but a bit of digital coding; a cold, intangible file that won’t wear away, but won’t leave anything lasting. Records breathe. They crackle, they jump, they fade, but they’re there. They have covers that take hits, get scuffed, but still look wonderful. “I think the quality of sound on vinyl is really good, people appreciate it. It’s nice to have something that’s bigger, the artwork is bigger and better on LP than on CD,” Paul says. “A lot of people still download, but there’s a culture where people do like to buy something,” Jane explains. “You can’t have a collection of mp3s, people don’t see what’s on your iPod. With LPs, CDs and cassettes, people can see what you’re into.” Although slightly pricier, it’s not just high earners who are turning to LP as their chosen music format – more and more students are becoming

collectors. In a city such as Newcastle, it’s an easy thing to get into with so many specialist stores here, but it’s also a beacon of hope that new generations aren’t entirely turning their backs on physical music releases. “That’s something I’ve noticed even in the last few months to be honest,” says Jane. “This time last year we used to get a few students popping in, but now there are a lot of returning students who are coming back a few times a week.” All of this brings us to Record Store Day – started in 2007, it’s an annual event featuring tonnes of exclusive releases from numerous artists in limited quantities. Typically on vinyl, there are special recordings, exclusive covers, long-awaited re-releases, picture discs. Demand is high. Supply is low. Above all though, it’s a chance for everyone to remember not just where, but also who, their record shops are. All three shops participated in this year’s event, as well as music shop J.G. Windows. Queues at Reflex began as early as 4am. If being at the front means getting the extremely limited record you’re after, that’s just what it takes. “There’s an amazing list of limited products. But it’s Record Store Day, not about limited records,” explains Rich. “It’s a real chance for the shops to get involved with the customers more, put on bands, DJs, giveaways, daft things, whatever.” “You get people who you don’t see all year but you see them on RSD, but then you get your hard core who buy new stuff all the time who are always going to be there as well,” says Paul. Whilst the sentiment behind the day is certainly admirable, it’s not without its flaws – as Record Store Day grows every year, more and more special release records are announced with prices creeping up and up. High cost is a symptom of printing limited runs of a record, but also of an increasingly cynical attitude from particular labels to exploiting

Rich Lattimore, 39 RPM Manager

the fanaticism of collectorship. “I reckon Record Store Day could be difficult for some up and coming bands,” says Paul. “There are some debut releases coming out, and I think unless people are really after that then it could just get missed. You never know whether it would be better for them to do it on another week.” Jane further explains: “It creates a bit of a clamour for records and limited releases. It does draw people in if they know there’s a limited amount and there’s only a certain amount of time to get these items. In terms of generating interest, it’s good for that. As for the price, that’s a different matter. It’s the nature of the thing, it’s out of our hands.” “The prices are a problem, but you’ve got to be kind of limited to create the excitement, there’s got to be a degree of it being a sought-after item. In the last few years as the major labels have got involved, you’ve seen their prices creep up and up and up,” Rich states. And it’s not just on the special releases. “Some of the major labels put stuff out say, this is what it costs to do a Double LP, £25/£30 retail, sometimes more. And then you get in a double LP from somewhere independent like 4AD or XL and it’s £14.99. They are milking it, the majors. They’ve all jumped on the vinyl bandwagon and they’re hiking the prices, it’s totally cynical and brutal.” On the whole though, Record Store Day remains one of the most exciting and positive dates in the calendar for music fans, and with three record shops in Newcastle there’s always a brilliant atmosphere. Even though the day has now passed for 2013, it’s never a bad day to visit your local independent shop. Go in, have a browse. Ask for a recommendation. Pick up a record. And when you get home and remember where you got it, you might just realise that you’ve done more than just buy an large plastic disc. Favourite Record Store Day 2013 release: “The one that I thought sounds exciting is the Stephen Malkmus LP. I quite like the quirky covers, where bands cover each other.” Favourite other RSD release: The Rough Trade cassette, the C90, was wicked. It was packaged really nicely. Favourite album: I could never pick one, because whenever I do I change my mind. After High Fidelity came out people started asking – I have a lot of favourites, but new ones always come along. Ultimate record shop find: “I was trying to get John Martyn – The Tumbler on vinyl for ages. Someone brought in a collection with loads of Now! compilations, and it was in there. That was one I wanted for about three years.” Favourite album of 2013: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Push The Sky Away is the one I’ve played the most. The new Kurt Vile is great as well. It’s been a good start.” Preferred format: I still buy records. I have some CDs, but mainly still vinyl. Most prized record: I’m not a massive collector. There’s been some great stuff passing through here that I was going to buy, but it’s a shop. Most of my prized records I’ve ended up selling because someone really wants it.

Jane Eaglesham, 30 Reflex Sales Assistant

Favourite Record Store Day 2013 release: A bit of old school girly things, like the Kill Rock Stars cassette compilation. A couple of Beta Band reissues and a Shangri-Las one that looks pretty good. Favourite other RSD release: Last year I picked up a Misfits vinyl re-issue, and a couple of T Rex things for my parents.

Paul Donley, 34 Beatdown Co-Owner

Favourite Record Store Day 2013 release: There’s a Rocky Erickson 7”. I can’t remember if I already own the original of it, but it’s a limited re-pressing, so I’m kind of tempted into buying that one. Favourite other RSD release: Not really myself, but if it gets people in the shop and spending money it can only be a good thing.

Favourite album: Pixies – Surfer Rosa, or a toss-up between The Breeders – Last Splash or Pod. Either one of those, they’re all good. Or maybe some Manic Street Preachers...

Favourite album: I don’t have one. I have such a huge collection, and broad range in taste of music. I could probably compile a top 50, but I don’t think I could ever really choose one favourite.

Ultimate records find: Nothing really!

Ultimate record shop find: I was after Rocky Erickson stuff a good few years ago and one guy sold in loads of records and I got about 10 Rock Erickson LPs in one go, so that was amazing. That was probably one of my best finds.

Favourite album of 2013: I really like the Parquet Courts one that’s just come out, Light Up Gold. I think it was out in America last year but it’s just a UK release. It sounds a bit post-punky. Preferred format: I like CDs [cue stunned looks from other staff ]. Easier to store, I think they sound better. I appreciate that people like vinyl, if you’ve got a good set-up. I’m too lazy for vinyl, that’s purely what it boils down to. Most prized record: I used to be a huge Manics fan, so I have some bits and pieces that I’m quite sentimental about.

Favourite album of 2013: The new record by Enforcer is really good, a Swedish metal band. It’s totally ‘80s but quite fun. Preferred format: I like stuff on vinyl personally, but I do buy a lot of CDs for convenience. I have a lot of stuff on two formats, on CD and vinyl. Most prized record: I don’t think I have a single prized record. You’d have to give me a day or two to decide on one.


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

TV Editor: Chris Taylor Online TV Editor: Ben Parkin

Want more Game of Thrones? Read Aisha Din’s weekly episode recap at


Anthropomorphising garden furniture is never a good idea really. Becca Price in this week’s column takes real issue with Cuprinol turning a shed into a crying baby just to sell some paint.


ou may not have seen the dark surrealist nightmare that is the latest Cuprinol advert, unless weather resistant garden paint is your kind of thing. For those that are unfamiliar, picture the scene… A couple, cuddled up in bed, are woken by the painful wails of their baby. Dad takes an abnormally large milk bottle and strolls out into the pre-dawn garden, already hinting at the unsettling nature of this advert’s universe. A full sized garden shed, possessed by some kind of infant demon, is lying on it back. It shakes back and forth, screaming and wailing, demanding to be served by its sleep deprived human slaves. Tears fall from the windows that are meant to be this monstrosity’s eyes. Dad takes the milk bottle and stabs the beast in the heart, plunging but this only infuriates it further. It spews the liquid back on its father, and shrieks louder.

Suddenly, Mum comes out with the trusty can of Cuprinol. The shed realises its fate, and there’s a tense moment where it looks like it might tip over and crush Dad. The parents brighten up the shed with a lick of the magic paint, decorating it into submission. It becomes peaceful. You can tell it’s happy, because it giggles and makes a pinging noise like a microwave for some reason. The sun comes up, and Mum and Dad sit on a bench, relaxing in the fleeting tranquillity while the Devil Shed is still sedated by its new coat of light teal. For an advert that’s probably intended as lighthearted and comedic, it’s fairly disturbing. It’s like Eraserhead, only sponsored by Homebase. The family set-up alone raises so many questions. Is the shed thing actually theirs? I’m not sure how Mum would have given birth, unless it started off as a shoebox or birdhouse that eventually grew to shed size. Or was it there when they moved in? (‘Well, the ravenous abomination in the back garden is a bit of a downside, I’ll admit that, but I do like the en-suite bathroom…’). Maybe it was once human, but was subject to some horrific transformation. Maybe they pissed off Malificent in B&Q or something, running her foot over with one of those giant trolleys, and ended up with some DIY based cruel revenge.

It’s like what Kafka would have come up with if he ended up in marketing. Instead of Gregor Samsa turning into a beetle, only to become a monstrous burden that his family no longer recognise, we have a couple feeding their mutant shed baby. I honestly can’t tell if it’s a rubbish advert or some kind of post-modern classic in the garden paint canon. It’s just that bizarre.

he Sopranos in Middle Earth. That’s how David Benioff described Game of Thrones in 2008, a year after production began on the most epic series of fantasy novels this side of Tolkien. Fans of the books were dubious that something so high concept, with big battles and even bigger tables of food (the latter another link to the food-filled Sopranos), could actually be put to film. People unware of the books and just going on the above Benioff summary were worried that it might just turn out like Merlin on a HBO budget. I fell into that latter category; not too keen on pure fantasy beyond Tokien so had never even heard of the books, never mind read them, and

someone who likes their HBO shows more akin to The Wire. I began to eat my words with a side order of shame when the premiere rolled around in 2011; dialogue heavy, a bit of swords here and there and very little magic to be a distraction, this was something I could get behind. And many other people could too. Sales of the books rocketed and execs were rushing to commission it for more seasons. Now to the present day, Season 3 has begun, set to focus around A Storm of Swords (arguably the best book in the series. Yes, I have actually bothered to read them now thanks to the show!) and anticipation couldn’t be higher. At this point, there are so many different plot strands going on at once, it’s hard to keep track of who’s where, but this series is set to give us some of the best plot strands and, from what we’ve seen so far, despite there being a lot of new faces, they’re going to make an impact. One of the major new players is Lady Olenna Redwyne played exquisitely by Diana Rigg. She’s an icy elderly woman arriving in King’s Landing

to dish out so much snark, Maggie Smith’s Countess Violet Crawley looks civil in comparison. The Brotherhood Without Banners also crop up to guide Arya and pals on their way. Although, so far, a few members are missing, The Brotherhood will most surely provide a lot of entertainment on their travels. Plus we have Jaime and Brienne continuing their Planes, Trains and Automobiles journey across Westeros in between all the backstabbing and plotting. There’s so much going on in Game of Thrones this season, and so much more to come, that it’s almost impossible to provide you with a comprehensive look at what is to come. But let’s just say, there’s a lot of big stuff about to happen, dialogue dripping with tension and venom, a couple of dragons flying about, and Joffrey is still a dick. In Season 3, it’s still the Game of Thrones you’ve come to know and love!

Mad Men

Doctor Who

The Mindy Project

ad Men, about 1960s ad men and women, their families, lovers and children, has returned. The longevity, critical acclaim and awards are well deserved as Mad Men is truly excellent. The brainchild of Matthew Weiner with an impeccable cast bringing their characters brilliantly realised in a lavishly researched setting. The hyperbole is justified. The anti-hero at the centre is Don Draper (Jon Hamm) a self made advertising genius, who achieved this by way of stealing someone else’s identity. Questions of identity are crucial to this show, particularly as the cultural change of the sixties forces characters to face their increasingly irrelevant world views. Season 5 drew some criticisms, mainly based on seeing Don happily married. The opening episode of Season 6, bringing the show to New Year’s Day, 1968, assures us that this is no longer the case. It also introduced several new characters, and an unsettling obsession with death. There are questions over how long Don’s marriage will last, how Joan will deal with being a business partner and working mother, whether Peggy Olsen will remain brilliant, and whether Pete Campbell will remain television’s most frustratingly sympathetic creep for another season. But also, most importantly, how Sally Draper played by the wonderful Kiernan Shipka, now approaching 15, will deal with the height of the sixties. I can’t be the only one hoping to see her protesting the Vietnam War, or bringing a hippy boyfriend to meet her uptight mother.

octor Who returned over Easter and so far, we’ve seen the Wi-Fi stealing and controlling people, a massive soul-eating planet and the return of the iconic Ice Warriors on a Russian submarine. Fairly varied then, and the rest of the series promises to continue this variety with episodes containing parts of the TARDIS we’ve never seen before and fan-favourites, the Cybermen. One thing that has been constant throughout is one massive question: who is Clara Oswald? The woman who appears to have nine lives has already died twice and is now back for more with her trusty ‘101 Places to See’ book. It’s no wonder then that the Doctor is intrigued! New companion JennaLouise Coleman has been brilliant so far, proving to be a feisty and tough match for the Doctor. With head-writer Steven Moffat promising the answer to that underlying question to be a good one, it is sure to keep fans engaged throughout. Of course, it is almost impossible to talk about Doctor Who in 2013 without mentioning the 50th anniversary in November. It’s the one that every fan of the show has been waiting for. With David Tennant already confirmed for the episode, it’s guaranteed to be a special episode for sure. Both quirky and emotionally charged at times, Matt Smith has proven to be the fitting Doctor for the 50th anniversary, and really does keep the show exciting and innovative. With big questions to be answered, new monsters, and old favourites returning, this series promises to be one of the best.

he Mindy Project is a show new to British screens, being branded by E4 as ‘brand new hit US comedy’. It follows the story of Doctor Mindy Lahiri, who after embarrassing herself by getting drunk and making a speech at her ex’s wedding, vows to turn her life around. The Mindy Project follows the recent trend of female comics writing, producing, and starring in a TV show loosely based on themselves (Girls, Miranda). While critics seem divided about whether or not the show is a success, it has made headlines for being the first sitcom starring and created by an Indian American. However, despite breaking records, it doesn’t necessarily bring much new to our screens. It follows a thirty-something working woman addicted to rom coms and who fears she is too fat and wants a boyfriend. Does Bridget Jones’ Diary ring any bells? Aside from the clichés, the show is funny (if you’re into that sort of thing). With the recent recruitment of an ex-prisoner as a nurse, who is by far the most entertaining character, it is only bound to get funnier. And with Mindy Kaling’s comic credentials, such as writing for the The Office US, this new show has a lot of promise. If you’re into one liners, stereotypical characters (e.g. the ‘English one’, the ‘mean one’), the plight of unsuccessful love and very girly girls, then this is for you. However, if you’ve seen shows like New Girl and have promptly switched them off, I wouldn’t recommend this one.

Alex Morgan

Helen Daly

Rosanna Hutchings

Game of Thrones

Sky Atlantic, Monday 9pm


Sky Atlantic, Wednesday 10pm


Chris Taylor

BBC1, Saturday

E4, Tuesday 9:30pm



The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013 | @courier_tv

The One That Potentially Ruined Sitcoms Forever

Friends paved the way for the now prevalent “kooky gang of 20 somethings getting into all sorts of scrapes”, but is this formula causing a saturation of the sitcom world? TV Editor Chris Taylor looks at which shows have successfully broken away from


ade In. Interior shot of a bar or an apartment. Sat around are a group of friends. They’re in their mid 20s to early 30s. Some might be related. Some might barely know each other. Some might be dating. They’re all together, however, and ready for some madcap hijinks as a group, probably with an animal involved somewhere. Which show am I talking about here? It’s pretty hard to tell these days as it’s a formula in sitcoms that seems as old as time. Joseph Campbell in A Hero With A Thousand Faces laid out a formula that nearly every single story with an element of mythology can fall into; the monomyth, “A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.” So while myths have an overarching template, so do sitcoms. It’s one arguably pioneered by Seinfeld; old friends and neighbours hanging out in Jerry’s apartment getting into madcap hijinks in Chinese restaurants, open houses and laundrettes. Oh, and

there’s always some problem with cats and dogs. Not to take away anything from Seinfeld, however, it was Friends that really cemented this formula as one that would crop up every pilot season. There have been more shows that have reflections of Friends than any other show. Happy Endings, New Girl, Rules of Engagement, How I Met Your Mother, Perfect Couples etc. They all share this post-Friends sitcom template. There’s nothing wrong with the template per se, but this oversaturation shows the lack of imagination in the writer’s room. It’s hard to tell, however, whether it is really the fault of the writers or if it simply that Friends has done pretty much everything with the formula. Running for a full ten years between 1994 and 2004 with around 236 episodes to its name, it’s done everything. Introduced a monkey, brought in quirky side characters, hooked up and subsequently split up many of its primary characters (leading to one of the most memorable “will they, won’t theys” between Ross and Rachel since Cheers’s Sam and Diane) and put their characters in ridiculous flashback outfits, including Monica’s fat suit. New Girl has done pretty much every single one of these

(the monkey one is a bit of a stretch, although in the episode “Models”, the models compare Jess to a cartoon monkey in a Russian advert for crackers). It’s this domination which really makes it difficult for shows to break out of the now tedious and monotonous formula. But when a show that is focused on Formula F.R.I.E.N.D.S. breaks from this routine to do something different but in a similar vein, it becomes exciting. Skilled writers can take what could be another clone situation, and one which probably was designed that way initially to capture the success of Friends, and twist it into something truly unique and a joy to watch. Take Happy Endings, for instance. Its first season was disjointed and, at times, plain boring. The two leads, Dave and Alex (the latter of whom jilted the former at the alter), aren’t great comic actors, Elisha Cuthbert as Alex better known for playing Kim Bauer in 24, and the rest of the primary cast aren’t given chance to shine. Yet, as the show progressed, it separated itself from the spectre of Friends by making their characters unique. Married couple Brad and Jane almost appear to be gender swapped, with Brad’s affinity for candles and Jane’s need to get “in with the boys” and Max is perhaps the best portrayal of a gay man in television; completely unstereotypical, he’s simply a regular guy that just prefers men to women, you know, like actual gay people not TV Land gay people. Each character carves their niche (with the writers finally getting to grips with how best to milk Alex and Dave) separate from their obvious Friends comparisons, with one episode even acknowledging that, previously, one member of the gang could be a Rachel and another a Joey. It’s shows like Happy Endings and New Girl (the latter of which I haven’t talked much about, but will in my review of the new series next week) that bring hope that the curse of the Friends formula has finally been broken. Sure the formula does work, as we can tell by the success of Friends during its airing, but we really need to stop trying to create carbon copies and it is these shows that hint at executives finally doing this.

Your eyes will go square!

Recent studies have shown that TV viewership habits are changing, and - surprise surprise - we’re all watching much more than we used to. Editor Ben Travis looks for reasons


h no, I read a chapter of a book before I go to bed. Don’t you know watching telly before you go to sleep isn’t good for you? It strains your eyes and doesn’t rest your brain. It’s all books for me.” Lots of us tell this to ourselves. Lots of us tell this to each other. Lots of us are lying. It’s becoming an increasing rarity in our household that either my housemates or myself don’t head to bed to watch some kind of TV. Flatmate number one has a Netflix subscription and is the envy of the rest of the house. “Ben,” he says with a slightly alarmed look on his face. “I stayed up until 5am watching Prison Break. Do you watch Prison Break? God, Prison Break is great.” I haven’t watched Prison Break. He watched an entire 24-episode season in a day. I’m not even mad, I’m impressed. That’s amazing. Flatmate number two recently raided my entire Breaking Bad Seasons 1-4 boxset. I haven’t got around to watching them yet, but that’s OK because I’m in the middle of Friday Night Lights Season 3 (whilst on a mid-series break from the complete Sopranos boxset). “Hey, how are you doing?” I ask him after having spent a weekend at home. “Yeah, I’m ok,” he replies. “I watched all of Breaking Bad Season 4.” When it comes to the amount of TV that we watch nowadays, a significant factor is just how readily available it is. Boxsets have become a staple of not just student households - even my parents own a few now (Mad Men, of course). Netflix and LoveFilm offer unlimited streaming of hundreds of TV series on demand. And then there’s 4od and iPlayer, freeing us from the shackles of the schedule, meaning I can work all of Saturday night and then



The best The Ones..

....With The Jellyfish The beautiful love story that we loved to watch unfold and reaffirmed people’s beliefs that everyone has a ‘lobster’ out there. When Rachel and Ross get back together after they were ‘on a break’ and break up again after 2 whole days. Classic quote: ‘Just for your information. It’s not that common. It doesn’t happen to every guy. And it is a big deal.’

....With The Embryos The boys vs. girls friendship quiz lends itself perfectly to one of the top moments ever in friends. No one knowing Chandler’s job, the upping of the betting, Ross’ defensiveness of the questions and of course ‘Mrs Chanandler Bong’. A hilarious episode with an brilliant conclusion that Phoebe is pregnant with her brother’s triplets.

....With The Routine Ross and Monica’s sibling relationship is hilarious, beautiful but undermined with the realistic competitiveness and childishness that is found in most brother/sister partnerships. When the pair get to go to ‘Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve’ and show off ‘the routine’, it reminds us all that no matter how old we are, we will always be that cool.

....With The Truth About London A moment that brings fear into a lot of boys hearts, how ‘excitable’ one can get in the bedroom. Chandler, sexual deviant til the end ‘I have kissed over four women’ demonstrates his unique bedroom skills of rapid undressing, a tip towards activities yet to come. Classic quote: ‘It bodes well that speed impresses you.’

choose to watch Doctor Who in bed as soon as I wake up. The habits afforded by these new technologies and services have become exactly that habits. As we grow more accustomed to being able to watch programmes wherever and whenever we want, our viewing patterns become more sporadic. Instead of sitting down for a few hours in the evening, we can opt to watch a bit of Bargain Hunt at 4am or a few episodes of Peep Show over breakfast, should we so desire. Whether or not the fact that we watch more small-screen entertainment is a good thing, the increase in viewership and attitudes towards when and how we watch TV is undeniable. We’re no longer restricted to watching shows on

small, fuzzy screens either. Where TV used to be a mess of aerials, dodgy reception and the screen occasionally turning blue for no reason, we can now watch crystal-clear high definition shows on 40” displays. Laptops, tablets and even smartphones act as miniature TV sets, meaning we can watch the right shows in the right place - say, Masterchef in the kitchen, or Dr Gillian McKeith while on the toilet. Because of these new technologies, we watch catch-up when we wake up, boxsets over breakfast, on demand over dinner and DVDs in our duvets. But when we’re living in a golden age of quality television (reality gumph aside), is that such a bad thing?

....Where Ross Is Fine When Ross finds out that Rachel and Joey are getting together, and invites them to an awkward dinner party with Charlie (Joey’s ex) to demonstrate how fine he is with whole scenario. Classic quote: ‘The only thing weird would be if someone didn’t like Mexican food, because I’m making fajitas’ Sally Priddle


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Film Editors: Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor: Chris Binding



Take a walk on the sci-fi side

Science Fiction


District 9

Sharlto Copley brilliantly plays the affable Wikus Van De Merwe in this fresh and South African based take on the sci-fi genre. Aliens, affectionately known as ‘prawns,’ live in South African slums and need to be moved to a new refugee camp. With Wikus in charge what could go wrong?

4 Aliens James Cameron directs this highly charged sequel to Alien, which is another sci-fi classic; proving the point that sequels aren’t all bad. Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) returns to the planet from Alien, but this time the rescue team bring some firepower. Fantastic action, eminently quotable – a real must-see!


Considering the philosophical and financial returns of sci-fi, Marcus Redgrave questions whether the genre has finally shaken its social stigma


here no man has gone before’ is a phrase which encompasses the science fiction genre perfectly. The sheer potential and creativity behind sci-fi is infinite and it now stands as a genre which has been exploited by many authors and screenwriters into creating many original and thought-provoking works. The relevance and importance of sci-fi is also forever growing thanks to our substantial advances in both technology and as a society. It’s perhaps why sci-fi as a film genre is slowing losing its social stigma and becoming more and more successful. Arguably sci-fi film has slowly shifted towards having a successful mainstream presence. With Avatar reaching the highest-grossing film accolade of $2,782,275,172, it’s now unquestionably shown that sci-fi can succeed as a mainstream genre. Notable films like Inception and E.T. the ExtraTerrestrial are also amongst the top grossing and are directed by two of the most popular directors around: Christopher Nolan and Steven Spielberg. The financial success for sci-fi films is therefore clearly evident yet they are certainly not inexpensive. With the demand for state-of-the-art CGI, budgets are increasing every year and with extremely exceptional films like Avatar, the expenses are ridiculously high. Unfortunately the use of CGI has also elevated to a level of importance which it doesn’t need. Certain films have resorted to relying on CGI too much and in some cases you’ll see that the more important elements of a film such as story and dialogue are being hindered. The best sci-fi films however don’t rely on overpowering CGI; instead the best ones challenge our ideas. Philosophy and sci-fi complement each other perfectly and you’ll find that mostly every classic sci-fi film provokes a big idea. 2001: A Space

Odyssey questioned mankind playing God in creating an intelligent computer called H.A.L; District 9 horrifically portrays the persecution of aliens; Planet of the Apes revels in exposing human’s greed and dogmatic behaviour. The action-driven Terminator 2 also incorporates a form of paranoia about artificial intelligence and time travel. These stories are great because they endure not only from their entertaining values but mostly because of their philosophical elements. After all, it’s always the big philosophical questions that stick with us. Culturally it’s also noticeable that sci-fi has drastically evolved over the last few years. It’s no longer exclusively seen as nerdy, but on the contrary it’s now intense and stunning. The modern Star Trek in comparison to its predecessor TV series emu-

lates such a transformation. Applauses are definitely granted to J.J. Abrams for managing to produce a Star Trek film capable of bringing new fans and pleasing old ones and also for trying something different. He may have overdone it on the lens flare but on his modernistic approach to a classic sci-fi series, he treaded carefully and delivered a fantastic film. As expected, I’m remaining cautious about his position as director for the upcoming Star Wars film, but with the right balance of delicacy and innovation as shown with Star Trek, I’m sure he can deliver a unique commendable rendition. With top directors like James Cameron and Ridley Scott also returning to work on sci-fi films (Avatar 2 and Prometheus 2), I’m remaining highly optimistic and impatiently excited for the future.

Hollywood on Cruise control

The Matrix Already a modern sci-fi classic, this is a tale about a computer hacker called Neo (Keanu Reeves), who learns about the true nature of reality thanks to the mysterious Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne). Ground-breaking use of CGI, coupled with slowmotion laced action and an intriguing story all combine to create the foundation of one the most popular sci-fi trilogies.

Love or hate him, Tom Cruise is as close to the movie star stereotype as you can get. Luke Hearfield discusses the legacy of this much celebrated megastar

2 Back To The Future Mixing sci-fi, adventure and comedy rarely works but Back to the Future is certainly one of the mostloved sci-fi films thanks to the charm of Michael J. Fox as the ultimate ‘too cool for school’ kid – Marty McFly. Making the DeLorean seem like the greatest car on Earth is just one of the film’s many achievements.


Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

The ultimate sci-fi franchise began in 1977 with Episode IV: A New Hope. It introduced the world to the Star Wars space-opera universe – the iconic theme music, the unforgettable characters and a classic tale of good versus evil. One cannot speak of the sci-fi genre without mentioning these two words: “Star” and “Wars”. Jacob Crompton-Schreiber


ou can’t help but enjoy a good giggle when you Google Tom Cruise’s name. You can revel in the fact that one of Hollywood’s royalties has become the epicentre of a cosmic swirl of ridiculousness. En route to his IMDb page there were countless pages of scientology rants, gay rumours and that infamous Oprah Winfrey interview which reinforce the ideals that this man should not be one of the world’s most successful actors. Say what you want about him, but at age fifty Tom Cruise has still retained his status as international superstar. Arguably he’s one of the hardest working actors

we have. Unlike dozens of A-listers whose careers seem to take vacations from the public subconscious for decades at a time, Cruise has always been delivering his craft. And generally he picks his projects with finesse. He’s had more than his fair share of pop culture influence. From sliding onto the screen in his undies in Risky Business, or feeling the need for speed in Top Gun or showing Cuba Gooding Jr “the money” in Jerry Maguire, he’s probably surfaced in some form or another during a random discussion with your mates. Except for his T-1000 running technique, he’s actually an actor of extreme versatility. Sure he

may have started out as typecast pretty boy but he’s navigated between all the genres and shown a collective range of indelible performances. You can witness his depth in his Oscar nominated performance in Magnolia. He’s certainly no stranger to the high octane escapism with his roles in Minority Report and the Mission: Impossible franchise. And he’ s also never afraid to graciously take a step aside to let other actors shine - the peak of which is Charlie Babbitt in Rain Man. Love him or hate him, Tom Cruise is pretty much the definition of a movie star.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013 | @Courier_Film

Oblivion (12A) It’s been eight years since Tom Cruise dabbled in the sci-fi genre. Last time he was battling aliens alongside Steven Spielberg in the 2005 box office hit War of the Worlds. Now he’s back and teaming up with Joseph Kosinski (Tron: Legacy) to satisfy that awkward ‘filler’ period between Oscar and summer blockbuster season. Need I say more? Oblivion tries gallantly to deliver something philosophically valid, but the entire film fails to find an identity. As an audience member I felt like I was watching a collective repackage of a selection of sci-fi hits. Think of it as a smoothie concoction of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Solaris, Planet of the Apes and WALL.E. Sure individually they’re all delicious, but when you mix them together it goes that awkward swampy brown colour that doesn’t go down the way you thought. The story is set in the year 2077. After a race of aliens known as ‘Scavs’ destroyed the moon, planet Earth becomes overrun by tsunamis and earthquakes, rendering the planet uninhabitable. Mankind has been evacuated to Titan (Saturn’s Moon), while Jack (Cruise) and Vitoria (Andrea Risebor-

ough) play caretaker to the grungy desolate area of what was once New York State. Oblivion starts off strong by immersing the audience into the visually stunning world. The collaborative efforts of the cinematography and CGI departments have done a sensational job of transforming the Icelandic landscapes into a bleak barren background. I really enjoyed the skytower setting as well as Jack’s ‘Bubbleship’ aircraft (If Apple ever design vehicles, I would bet money they look like that). Cruise and Riseborough are on form in their roles and have a believable chemistry at play. The audience is led to believe that they are romantically entwined - that is until Julia (Olga Kurylenko) drops from the sky and Jack starts having snippets of flashbacks involving her. On top of that, Jack has chance encounter with the Scavs, led by Beech (Morgan Freeman) and discovers that not everything is as it appears on planet earth. This narrative shift is where the film starts to lose its credibility. As the plot thickens it also becomes lofty with its explanations and difficult to keep up with. Morgan Freeman is wastefully underwritten,

which is a shame as he never fails to make any film more bearable. Olga Kurylenko is disappointing as Julia as she never conveys more than a presence of being befuddled. Oblivion is of course a Tom Cruise film and he is what carries this film, even at age fifty he still looks in great shape and makes a plausible leading man. But there are moments where he has to deliver very corny dialogue which makes you writhe.

VERDICT: Oblivion seemed promising at first, however descends into typical sci-fi tropes which have been seen before. It’s a derivative effort from Kosinski which is like his Tron: Legacy outing is visually lavish but lacking in substance. The action was fun and the music was well suited but the story became too convoluted to appreciate.

Spring Breakers (18)

Dark Skies (15)

Scary Movie 5 (12A)

The Place Beyond The Pines (15)

In 1995, after a chance meeting with Larry Clark, a then teenage Harmony Korine wrote the screenplay for Kids, a gritty portrayal of a group of sexually active teenagers during an era of HIV in the 90s. It was relentless and disturbing in its portrayal of youth culture and despite debate surrounded its artistic merit on its release, it has since become a cult classic. Eighteen years later, and although on the surface Spring Breakers seems a lot more tantalising, Korine’s unfaltering vision is very much the same. Deliberately utilising a distinctly postDisney leading female quartet, Korine paints a debauched portrait of the modern-day teenage American dream that runs a little deeper than your average wet t-shirt contest. James Franco takes on the role of the parodical Alien, a whitetrash gangster with a penchant for Britney, who bails the girls out of jail after they are arrested on a drugs charge, sucking them into a satirical and sinister turf war. Spring Breakers is a hallucinogenic trip through gangster mysticism and vapid youth culture, all made contemporarily poetic through its Skrillex and Cliff Martinez score and the glowing neon hues that pervade every scene. With its voyeuristic camera angles it beckons and lures you into a seductive hedonistic coma, before Korine quickly pulls you down the proverbial rabbit hole.

This spooky extraterrestrial Dark Skies will keep you on the edge of your seat from beginning to end. It is written and directed by Scott Stewart, known mostly for his work on films such as Legion and Priest. It begins with a couple, (Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton) newly married and settling down in a nice area of suburban America like so many horror films before it. They start to notice some wacky goings on in their family home: doors banging, alarms a-blaring and a swarm of bats hitting into windows as if they were blind. Spooky? Yes, but it’ll leave you thinking, has this not been done before? It’s as if Stewart and company were sat around in the boardroom spinning around on their office chairs. He sighs after crumpling up another bad movie idea and exclaims, “I’ve got it; shall we just make Paranormal Activity, but with Aliens and then, they’ll never know?” The movie has a good pace about it and welltimed intervals of scares throughout. Dark Skies is a good length at an hour and a half and I was transfixed to the screen for a decent period of time. While watching ‘We are not alone’ a central theme sprung to mind, ironically it occurred to me that I actually was alone in a 160 capacity cinema, very spooky indeed. It’s very clichéd, but if you and your flat mates are bored this Tuesday Dark Skies is the perfect scare/ laugh combination to enjoy with a couple of mates. I would certainly recommend it for that sort of thing.

Unless you’re incredibly sexually repressed and can tolerate lewd, crude and cheap material then there really is no point in reading the rest of this review. This film is not for you. At stop number five on the Scary Movie franchise you should be aware of what these movies deliver, and this is about as bottom-of-the barrel as you can get. It would appear that Scary Movie alumni Anna Farris has moved onto greener pastures, so Ashley Tisdale of High School Musical fame has stepped in for our lead role. The plot (if you can call it a plot) revolves around Jody (Tisdale) and Dan (Simon Rex) mimicking the parental roles of the movie Mama and thwarting off an evil spirit that is stalking their new born son. From then on the narrative bumbles around between irrelevant tangents relating to Evil Dead, Black Swan, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Inception. While there were a couple moments such as the Morgan Freeman impersonator which deserved a slight chuckle, this film’s humour prides itself on being repetitive and generic. Relying on tabloid celebrities to appear as parodied cameos of themselves demonstrates how weak its originality is. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have been the focal point of the trailer but don’t appear for more than five minutes of tiresome sex tape gags. Other faces such as Usher, Snoop Dogg/Lion and Mike Tyson surface for nonsensical reasons. But don’t worry if cameos aren’t your cup of tea then there’s plenty of poop throwing, rogue frying pans and off-colour racism to fill the void.

Sideshow motorcycle stunt driver Luke turns his hand to bank robbery after an encounter with a past fling, Romina, discovering that he is father to a son he never knew he had. The film stars Ryan Gosling (The Notebook, Blue Valentine) and Eva Mendes (The Other Guys, Hitch). Eager to provide for his new-found family, what begins as a ploy to earn a little extra cash turns into an obsession with devastating consequences. What must be said, first and foremost, is that this is not a film of blistering pace and all-out action as one might expect of a rugged-driver-turned-thief narrative. Yes, there are chase scenes, and yes, we see Ryan Gosling in a tank top, but with Cianfrance as director, this is a production of subtleties. It is a film that demands your attention, and ultimately rewards you for it. The writing is excellent, thought-provoking and in parts very funny, while the camera work is bold, fresh and thrilling. There is an ice-cold allure that persists, with moments of real emotion captured perfectly by the performances of Gosling, Mendes and Cooper. The great performances are supported by a rich story that twists and turns and leaves you smirking with delight. However, there is a niggling sense that the film doesn’t go deep enough. Calling the plot flat would be far too critical, and there are frequent glimpses of brilliance. We are asked questions in all the right ways within a world that balances harsh realities and escapist cinema extremely well.

VERDICT: I’m afraid Dark Skies is well and truly treading on Horrors feet, it feels like not enough money and thought has gone into it. It is in definite need of more lasers, spaceships and of course explosions.

VERDICT: Scary Movie 5 is a masterpiece of awful. It’s belligerently unfunny and unworthy of adult consumption. Unfortunately this franchise just keeps coming back. Let’s hope they develop an antidote for it someday.

VERDICT: That it is slow to get started and feels slightly drowned by a lot of story, has little bearing on the success of this film. It is methodical, pensive and, at its best, a beautiful piece of cinema. Poetic and powerful in equal proportion, it is not to be missed.

Dylan Healy

Luke Hearfield

Muneeb Hafiz

VERDICT: Judging by some of the faces in the lobby outside afterwards, this isn’t a film for the Korine virgin. It’s implausible, and at times ridiculous, but Korine’s ability to paint a darkened portrait of youth culture, split between the worlds of realism and hyperbole is as impressive as ever. Sophie Coletta

Luke Hearfield

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Science Editor: James Simpson

Korea-ing towards disaster Size

With North Korea boasting their ability to declare nuclear war on the United States, Tom Nicholson looks at what the science says and how that could affect us right here in Newcastle


hat with North Korea’s recent willy-waving, the spectre of nuclear war has lurched over the horizon once again. It’s not that likely, but as there are still roughly 23,000 of them in existence; nuclear weapons are still worth a moment’s pause. The mechanics of a nuclear bomb are quite basic: an uncontrolled fission reaction is induced within the bomb by firing one bit of radioactive material – usually uranium-235 or plutonium-239 – at another bit of radioactive material. A thermonuclear device differs in that a fission reaction is used to create an uncontrolled fusion reaction between different isotopes of hydrogen, and can be up to 10 times more destructive. But what would that sort of pyrotechnics look like? Let’s say, for example, someone got hold of one of China’s 3.3-megaton warheads and detonated it over the Robinson library. A terrifying thought, I know, but try to take comfort in the fact that you probably wouldn’t have time to think, “That’s really annoying, thanks a lot North Korea/Iran/reformed Soviet Union”, before everything from St. James’ Park to Clayton Road in Jesmond was vaporised by a heat wave hotter than the centre of the Sun. Then there’d probably be a firestorm that would suffocate you. 12 miles away in Morpeth and Sunderland, people exposed to the flash would still get third degree burns,

be immediately blinded and have to try to put out loads of fires too. Still, if you did dodge the heat and flash – perfectly possible, since heat, like light, travels in straight lines and so any shaded area would be left unscathed – there would be the small matter of the accompanying blast wave to deal with. Between Longbenton and South Gateshead, a blast wave would demolish even the most solidly constructed concrete structures and probably make your head explode. Even out in Whitley Bay most buildings would be demolished by the blast. From a purely aesthetic viewpoint, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. If you were still alive after that, you’d be out of the woods, right? Kind of. If you were within two and a half miles of ground zero – as far away as the northern edge of Gosforth – you’d get a 500 Roentgen dosage of radiation. You’d be fine with that, for a bit. Then your hair and teeth would fall out, you’d go blind, vomit, and have a 50-90% chance of death. Oh, and if you survive all that you can’t go outside for at least two weeks in case you get contaminated by fall out, dust made radioactive when it was sucked up during the explosion. And then you’d go outside and all your mates would be dead or disfigured or just bloody upset anyway. So these are the effects of a single warhead. That’s as bad as it could get, right? Sorry to piss on your chips, but a single warhead is so 1950s. If we were at-

tacked by another major world power, we could expect roughly 25 missiles, each carrying a warhead capable of between 10 and 20 megatons of explosive power. The biggest ever tested was 57 megatons, but this is was at the height

of what historians have called the Soviet Union’s ‘absolutely crackers’ era. Fortunately North Korea’s ballistic missiles are roughly as powerful as the average stomp rocket, so there’s probably nothing to worry about. Probably.

Wondrous women

It would not be unfair to say that women in science are often sidelined and forgotten. Lizzie Hampson looks at some of the most influential women who have made an incredible contribution to science but don’t get half the exposure


top for a minute and try to think of as many of the world’s most influential scientists as you can. The chances are, you immediately named; Newton, Einstein, Darwin and Freud, amongst others. Whether you are a scientist or not, these are the names most familiar to us, the ones we are taught about from a young age. This is obviously not without reason; they all contributed amazing work to their respective fields and played a large part in shaping the world into how we see it today. Yet, something is missing - where are the names of the female scientists who had the same huge effect on modern science and medicine? We all know the names and achievements of women such as Marie Curie and Florence Nightingale but they are often overlooked. Women have been contributing to science for centuries, often working hard to get published and recognised despite the barriers they faced because of their gender. Medicine was one of the earliest scientific fields to accept the work of female scientists, going as far back as 2700 BCE when Ancient Egyptian MeritPtah was described as “chief physician” making her the earliest known female scientist. Despite this, women were largely refused to work in the sciences, the subject being seen as above women’s mental ability. This way of thinking carried on until the 18th century when pioneering women such as Eva Ekeblad the first woman to be accepted into The Royal Swedish Academy of Science and Lady Mary Wortley Montagu - who

helped launch smallpox vaccinations fought their way into experienced roles in the science community. Since this revolution, some of the most important and impressive inputs to science have come from women. Marie Curie is one great example of this; she was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, the only woman to win in two fields and the only person to ever win in multiple sciences. Her work on radioactivity is the basis on which modern day cancer treatments were formed. Curie’s commitment to her work was untouchable and her unwavering dedication sadly took her life as she died from a form of radiation poisoning in 1934. Another incredible female scientist is Rosalind Franklin; without her work, DNA would not have been discovered. She was the first person to take x-ray images of DNA molecules and was close to figuring out its structure when one of her lab partners showed her work to James Watson, who figured out the structure and published it. Not only were female scientists quickly proving that women are intelligent, dedicated and skilled enough to work in science, but they were also paving the way for future generations to receive equal opportunities and education in the sciences. Elizabeth Garrett Anderson was a suffragette who managed to obtain private education in the medical sciences at a time when this was unheard of. She then went on to open a small women and children’s hospital all staffed by women physicians. Largely because of these efforts medical exams

were made open to women by the British examining board. Today there are amazing women working in all areas of science, from astrophysicists to sociologists. This is mostly down to the devoted individuals who are still, even now, often overlooked as major contributors to the scientific community. Without them half of the students studying science at this University wouldn’t be here, simply because of their gender. Whilst it was once thought that science was a man’s world, it clearly would be nothing without a woman or a girl.

does matter Penis envy is something not all men will be willing to admit but have probably encountered at some point in their lives. Abigail Metcalfe looks at new research which gives those insecure fellas cause for concern

From the beginning of puberty onwards it seems that there is one question on every male’s lips: “is my penis big enough?”. Well, unfortunately for those less than well-endowed men worldwide their nightmare has become a reality with findings of a recent medical study showing that women really do think bigger is better when it comes down to what’s in your boxers. According to Brian Mautz, the leader of this provocative study, comments such as “it’s not the nail, it’s the hammer you’re hitting it with” are purely comments women feel pressured into saying due to political correctness. And let’s be honest girls, we’re all guilty of a little white lie now and then, particularly if it boosts our partners’ ‘bedroom alter ego’. The study itself asked 105 Australian women to view life-size video clips of computer generated images that varied in body shape, height and of course, most importantly, penis size but not in other qualities such as facial attractiveness and hair styles. The results found that as the penis size of the male increased, so did the women’s rating of attractiveness. Whilst the results seem to be very superficial, based on evolutionary principles it could be possible that women are in fact looking at a man’s member to indicate their ability to procreate and produce healthy robust children. However as well as the influence of evolutionary factors, it is conceivable that the impact of modern day fixations on the porn industry’s image of penis perfection is likely to be having an effect on the modern woman’s ideal and therefore influence the findings of the study to a degree. When men were asked to give their own penis size the average figure fell between 7-8inches, when in reality the average penis size measures from 3-4 inches and 6-7 inches when erect. Whilst some men resort to penis enlarging pills, specially created vacuum pumps and even penis enlargement surgery to achieve their dream proportions, the finding of Mautz’s study suggest that penis size isn’t all that counts. When women are rating the appeal of a potential Mr Right it is in fact body shape that’s the most important factor in a male’s attractiveness, with wide shoulders and narrow hips being the most desirable features on a woman’s checklist. So boys, next time you plan pulling in the toon, then it’s a gym membership you need to take full advantage of as opposed to any genital enhancement devices.


Monday 22 April 2013


The Courier

Puzzles Editors: Tom Nicholson and Sally Priddle

Win a £4 MensBar voucher*

Find yourself stumped? Check out The Courier’s website next week for the solutions

Busy day? Have a sit down, grab a coffee and unwind with this week’s puzzles - and return them to the Courier office to have a chance of winning drinks at MensBar Be the first to work out which celebrities these pictures

Crossword 1




spell out to win a £4 Mens Bar Voucher


5 +





6 7 8 9






12 14 15





1, 2 down ‘I Only Want To Be With You’ singer, buried in Henley-onThames (5, 11) 4 Irritates (6) 6 A statistically unlikely event (6) 8 Country in northern Africa which played Tatooine in Star Wars (7) 9 Recreational space where patrons gather to lose money (6) 11 One who openly and playfully signals their interest in potential romantic partners (5) 12 Benefit which comes with a job or situation (4) 13 Disappear (6) 15 Shortened form of male first name (4) 17 Geordie or Scottish baby (5) 18 Bicycle race; Kraftwerk album (4, 2, 6)


1 Foolish person; instrument essential for car maintenance (8) 2 See 1 across 3 Example by which all others are measured (9) 4 Appealing; magnetic (10) 5 Roman author of Metamorphoses (4) 7 Spinal Tap song; large stone circle in Wiltshire which isn’t quite as big in real life as you’d think it would be (10) 10 R. Kelly super-smash hit; device for starting an engine (8) 14 Foolish person; coagulated blood (4) 16 Rakish and immoral but oddly alluring and sexy man (3)





6 5

9 5 4 8 5 8 4 4 8 1 9 8 3 2 3 6 1 4 3 9 8 3 5 *The first person to bring the completed crossword or Picture-makey-phrase to The Courier office in the Students’ Union will be awarded the £4 prize

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Yorkshire represents in NAMS Football By Tom Needham in Newcastle The city of Newcastle brightened up a cold and dreary March weekend for a thousand medical students, by hosting the annual National Association of Medical Schools (NAMS) football tournament. This privilege was granted to Newcastle as a result of the Medics 2nds winning last year’s men’s tournament in Dundee. Newcastle lived up to its reputation as a football crazy and party mad city as it provided forty men’s and sixteen women’s teams from across the United Kingdom with a fantastic weekend of football and entertainment. With one thousand players descending on Jesmond for the weekend, there was certainly the feel of an unofficial ‘Olympic Village’ about the area as the medical students piled into hotels and bars up and down Osborne Road on the Friday evening to get their first taste of Newcastle’s famous nightlife and to pre-

the tournament on show was a great advertisement for medical school football. There was plenty to keep the players engaged with the tournament when they were not on the field of play. Booming sound systems provided music along with player and spectator interviews. Red Bull energy zones were placed at both sites to give wings to the competitors. Here they were able to get some much-needed rest, take shelter from the elements and refuel for the tough physical challenges ahead. The poor weather nationwide in the week leading up to the event had been a source of much concern for the organising committee and players alike. The Dublin squad in particular had a particularly eventful battle against the elements. Shocking conditions meant that their ferry to Holyhead in North Wales couldn’t be docked and the players spent hours of uncertainty on the boat out at sea, unsure of whether they would be able to make it in time for the tournament. The lads finally disembarked late on Friday night and after an epic voyage against the clock by coach and taxi they finally made it to the North East just in

Men’s winners Sheffield 1st team celebrate their triumph Photography: NAMS

“With one thousand players descending on Jesmond for the weekend, there was certainly the feel of an unofficial ‘Olympic Village’ about the area”

pare for the tournament ahead. The vast number of fixtures meant a notoriously difficult early start was required on the Saturday for the men’s tournament. So it was with heavy heads but high spirits that players arrived at the pitches for 8am to kick off this festival of football. The tournament draw and fixture computer threw up an intriguing start to the day at Cochrane Park as Newcastle 1sts clashed with Newcastle 3rds, known in Intra Mural circles as the Sex Panthers, in the quest for early points in Group B , a real life David vs. Goliath encounter.

Roll of Honour

Men’s Winners: Sheffield 1sts Women’s Winners: Leeds 1sts Men’s Runners Up: Leeds 1sts Women’s Runners Up: Guy’s, King;s and St Thomas’ Men’s Player of the Tournament: Joel Lawson (Sheffield 1sts) Women’s Player of Tournament: Nadia Mizban (Leeds 1sts) However, as is so often the way in cup football, the game did not quite follow the expected script as the Panthers provided a fantastic performance of determination and quality to take a deserved point from a 0-0 stalemate, which included a saved penalty from Nathan Campbell, the Intra Mural Division One second top scorer for the Medics 1sts. The men’s tournament was soon in full swing at both Longbenton and Cochrane Park, and despite freezing temperatures and strong winds the quality of football and enthusiasm for

time for kick off. Defending champions Newcastle Medics 2nds kicked off their campaign on Longbenton 3G against the University of East Anglia with a convincing 2-0 victory. Both Newcastle 1sts and 2nds showed good form to progress to the knockout stages. Unfortunately, neither team were able to reach the business end of the tournament. The 2nds suffered penalty shootout heartache against Leicester 2nds in the last 16 after a questionable penalty decision gave Leicester the chance to equalise. The 1sts went one step further into the quarter finals before being beaten 2-0 by a very strong Leeds side, a convincing win in a 20 minute game putting Leeds as favourites to win. After nine gruelling hours of football, thirty-eight teams had fallen by the wayside leaving just Sheffield and Leeds to contest the final, two rivals desperate for NAMS glory and to secure the Yorkshire bragging rights. With the pristine Longbenton 3G surface illuminated by floodlight and the touchlines thronged by rowdy supporters, this really was the perfect setting for the final. Sheffield deservedly won 2-0, with one of the players explaining that a squad outing to Wet ‘N Wild water park in North Shields the day before the tournament inspired their success. Sheffield won the tournament without conceding a single goal during the entire competition. The women’s final was played out between pre-tournament favourites the ‘Pink Ladies’ of Leeds and Guy’s, King’s and Thomas’s Medical School of London on the 3G at Northumbria’s Coach Lane Campus. The Leeds girls were mightily impressive throughout the day and won the trophy courtesy of a dramatic penalty shoot-out in the final. This success was the third successive NAMS triumph for Leeds, confirming their reputation as the finest Medics ladies team on these shores.

Leeds and Sheffield lock horns in the Men’s final Photography: NAMS

A huge highlight of the NAMS weekend is the much anticipated Saturday night out and this year in Newcastle was no exception. The Student Union provided the venue for a massive ‘Geordie Shore’ themed party. Professional DJ’s blared out tunes in both the Men’s Bar and on the main stage, light hearted yet competitive fun

could be found at the Bucking Bronco and Sumo wrestling arenas. The tournament winners were treated to a Red Bull VIP area in which complimentary ‘boats’ containing Smirnoff and the new Red Bull Editions were brought to the teams in private booths. The presentation ceremony saw winners and runners up collect medals and

shortly before midnight the NAMS trophies were hoisted aloft by the captains of Sheffield men’s and Leeds women’s amidst a cacophony of noise from the crowd and the explosion of pyrotechnics from the stage. The players partied on into the early hours in true Geordie fashion bringing an awesome day and night to a close.


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Fight to the death:Relegation Battle

With Reading and Queen’s Park Rangers practically already relegated, The Courier discusses which other team will be joining them in the Championship next season as the end of the current season looms

Wigan Wigan have become fondly admired over their eight seasons in the Premier League due to dramatically escaping from extremely sticky situations. This season is no different with Wigan embroiled in a relegation battle, but, unlike QPR and Reading, who have fallen by the wayside, the Latics have constantly kept themselves in touch with safety. It will be a fascinating end to the season for the Lancashire side, who have to couple their ambitions for a 9th successive season of Premier League football with preparations for their first ever FA Cup final on 11th May against Manchester City. With Wigan being clear underdogs for the Wembley showpiece, there is no doubt the Premier League will remain their priority, but their manager Roberto Martinez will be hoping that they are able to use the momentum given to them by the semi final triumph over Millwall to propel them to success on both fronts. Wigan have a game in hand on most of the teams

around them, and therefore despite still having to face both Arsenal and Tottenham in their remaining fixtures, the Latics should be able to obtain enough points to see them to safety when the final reckoning is done on 19th May. The final day promises to be one of high stakes at the DW stadium as Wigan face Aston Villa, another side in the midst of a frantic relegation battle. The Latics will also be particularly targeting picking up points against mid table sides West Brom and Swansea City as they look to climb to at least 17th in the table. In Roberto Martinez the Latics have an assured and respected manager who seems to thrive off the pressure of relegation dogfights. Arouna Kone has proven himself to be a decent summer signing from Levante having scored 10 league goals in 27 appearances, and whether he stays fit or not will be key to Athletic’s survival bid as goals have otherwise been hard to come by this season. Admittedly, it is possible that time will finally run out on Wigan’s exciting spell at the top level, as just because they have done it before, does not mean they can

do it again. Yet, there remains the memories of crucial last day wins at Sheffield United and Stoke City in recent years that both preserved the Latics’ Premier League status, which means you have to be a bold man to bet against Martinez’s men. Joey Barton

Roberto Martinez Photography: Getty Images

Stoke “What’s the point in Stoke?” was the question asked at a talk given by some of the writers for the football magazine, The Blizzard. Whilst the question was laughed at by most of the audience, Jonathan Wilson gave a commendable response explaining the differing style of play being commendable and interesting. I however flatly disagree. Having had the horror of seeing Stoke several times in the flesh over the past few seasons, I can honestly say I have never seen a more insipid, uninspiring, boring and monotonous side. I can honestly say I have never ever chosen to watch them on TV instead only when I’m forced to, duty bound by my Newcastle United season ticket. I doubt many other people choose to watch them, and with a footballing style that once could be praised for bullying the big boys into losses at the Britannia, has now got so abject that the players appear to have given up. Splits in the dressing room are rife over this topic, with apparently Charlie Adam a divisive figure. He’s found himself benched recently for the crime of making a pass less than 30 yards. The problem for Stoke is that long ball football is fine to play when it works, however, when it begins to fail both players and fans quickly get disheartened. The team ethic and effort, and the passion of the crowd, is everything that Stoke is built behind, and when this fails, a clearly fairly ordinary team begin to look worse than ordinary. With

Sunderland It has been anything but quiet at the Stadium of Light in the last few weeks. Firstly, a run of eight games without a win saw Sunderland fall from 11th to 16th and hovering dangerously above the drop zone, leading to Martin O’Neill’s dismissal ahead of the Premier League run in. Then came the appointment of Paolo Di Canio as his replacement, which sparked reactions all around the country, and particularly in the North East where there was uproar in relation to his Fascist views. Understandably, Di Canio wants the focus to be on his managerial capabilities and Sunderland’s quest to secure a seventh successive season in the top flight. Yet, David Miliband’s resignation from the Sunderland board and the media’s insistence to show photos of Di Canio in his Lazio days at any opportunity have not made it an easy start for the Italian, who came into the Sunderland post fresh from a successful spell as Swindon Town manager. The action on the pitch has been similarly intriguing and following an unfortunate narrow defeat at Chelsea, the Black Cats stormed back with a headline grabbing 3-0 victory at St. James’ Park in the Tyne-Wear derby. The reaction to that defeat in Newcastle has been well documented, but it could prove to be a vital turning point in the Wearside club’s quest for Premier League survival. Despite still being in a precarious position, the victory will have given Sunderland’s underachieving squad the belief that they can perform at a higher level more consistently. With upcoming games against fellow strugglers As-

only 5 points since the New Year, the system is failing and Tony Pulis appears unable to arrest the slide. Whilst Pulis has been an exemplary servant to the club in getting them to apparent mid table anoynimity, and is probably unsackable, he appears to have run out of ideas. People questioning Barcelona’s lack of a plan B seems fairly ridiculous when considering Stoke’s monotone style of play. Stoke have a fairly generous run in, with winnable games at home to Norwich and away to Sunderland and QPR, however the team appear in a state of shock and look unable to gain three points. With Wigan, Villa and Sunderland all coming into a vein of form, Stoke are starting to resemble someone on life support desperately fighting a losing battle. They would be my tip to go down, and I do not think anyone would be remotely upset if they did. Ralph Blackburn

Tony Pulis Photography: Getty Images

ton Villa and Stoke City, Di Canio’s immense passion should be able to at least extract the short-term benefits necessary for Sunderland to avoid the drop. They certainly have enough attacking players to guarantee their Premier League place for another season if they perform to their full potential. Steven Fletcher has eleven goals for the season, and on their day Stephane Sessegnon and Adam Johnson are a handful for any defence in the Premier League. Black Cats’ fans will also be hoping that Danny Graham, a January signing from Swansea City, will start to find the form which he showed when scoring 88 goals in the space of five seasons when playing for Carlisle United, Watford and Swansea. Although, both Di Canio and Sunderland are not quite as experienced in this situation as some of the other teams and managers around them, the Black Cats should have enough quality to see them through to Premier League safety. Joey Barton

Paolo Di Canio Photography: Getty Images

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Aston Villa Aston Villa have been ever presents in the Premier League since its inception in 1992,yet their participation next season is far from guaranteed. They have been in and around the relegation zone all season in what has been an enthralling season for the neutral, but deeply frustrating for their fans. After finishing only two points clear of the relegation zone last season, Villa fans had cause for optimism this season with the appointment of Paul Lambert, who replaced the much-maligned Alex Mcleish. Promising players such as Ron Vlaar and Christian Benteke were brought in, and goalkeeper Brad Guzan re-signed for the club. However, despite encouraging performances on the whole, results have been poor and Villa currently lie 17th, having played 2 more games than 18th placed Wigan Athletic. What really has caught the eye this season is Villa’s chronic inability to sustain a good performance for 90 minutes. They lost at home to Manchester United in November after being 2-0 up after 50 minutes and have also thrown away two goal leads against Everton and West Brom respectively. The lack of experienced heads in the team is partly to blame for this, as many of the young players have crumbled under pressure when they needed to make themselves

Norwich Norwich City are still reeling after their ‘frustrating’ loss against Arsenal a week last Saturday. Norwich lost it in the final moments with the eventual score of 3-1 to Arsenal despite being one up until the 85th minute Arsenal penalty. The loss also meant Norwich continued to be four points shy of the relegation zone. The game against Arsenal, while unfortunate, sums up Norwich’s disappointing season. Being ‘excited’ to earn a draw has become par for the course for the Canaries as they have been involved in seven away stalemates this season — the highest in the Premier League. Even worse news for Norwich is that they have only won one of their last 14 league games all the while being the division’s lowest scorers. The lack of

counted. If matches had finished at half time this season, Villa would be in contention for a European place. However, on their day, Villa have demonstrated that they can beat anyone, their 4-2 win at Manchester City in the League Cup and 3-1 win at Liverpool in the league were stunning results. Villa fans will definitely be glad to see the back of winter. From December to February they embarked on a winless run of 9 games in the league and were thrashed 8-0 by Chelsea, 4-0 by Tottenham and 3-0 by relegation rivals Wigan. They also suffered the humiliation of losing to minnows Bradford City in the Capital One Cup semi finals and Millwall in the FA Cup fourth round. There was a huge sense of crisis around the club resulting in owner Randy Lerner holding showdown talks with Lambert. Lerner has backed Lambert all the way and there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel because of this. Villa are starting to find form at the most crucial stage of the season. They have only lost once in 5 games. In their final 5 matches, they face Manchester United, Chelsea, and 3 of their relegation rivals in Sunderland, Norwich and Wigan, who they face on the final day. They have only lost 2 games in their head-to head clashes with their relegation rivals so this should give them confidence for the upcoming six-pointers. Strikers Gabby Agbonlahor and Cristian Benteke are in red-hot form. Benteke

and Andreas Weimann have been Villa’s outstanding performers this season and have played their part in incisive attacking play at times. I predict that Villa will survive relegation as they are generally on an upward curve, unlike teams like Stoke and Norwich who are in freefall. However, their fans need to have more faith in their team. I went to their home match against Liverpool and they were subdued throughout, even when they were winning. When they fell behind, they immediately seemed resigned to their fate with 30 minutes left to play. Having a twelfth man really does work wonders for a team, and if Villa’s fans rise to the occasion they should stay up.

goals and propensity for stalemates has made this a particularly difficult season to stomach. Scoring goals will obviously be on the agenda for the Norwich squad as the Premier League season comes closer to an end. Their next two games will be crucial in deciding their fate, and, luckily, those two games are against teams even lower in the tables. Eleven points separate Norwich from their upcoming opponents, Reading. Hopefully, they can highlight this disparity in order to boost their standings. Their real test, assuming they can manage easily against Reading, will be an away game against Stoke. While Norwich are one point above Stoke, their lacklustre season away could have the match going either way. Ultimately, Norwich are a fairly ordinary team, but, if they want to see themselves out of the danger zone, they need

to start materialising some goals rather than just getting by because someone else loses. In the end though, Norwich City will stay up this season because every table needs an ordinary team to drown it down. As I see it, all the more for the bore.

Sebastian Murphy

Paul Lambert Photography: Getty Images

Julia Dwyer

Chris Hughton Photography: Getty Images

Back of the net Video of the week

Testing times


1) How many times have Sunderland been relegated from the Premier League? 2) Who are the official sponsors of Norwich City FC? 3) What team knocked Newcastle out of the Europa League earlier this month? 4) Who finished higher in the Premier League last season: Wigan or Stoke? 5) Aston Villa’s last major cup honour was the League Cup. In what year did they win this?

Tip of the week

Out of the pick of our relegation contenders other than the obvious QPR and Reading, The Courier are going for an outside bet on Sunderland. Their emphatic win over rivals Newcastle - Chris Hoy - @chrishoy is perhaps distracting us “Well, it’s official; I’ve retired! I’ve been blown away by all from the fact they have your kind messages, thank you so much everyone. An emo- a difficult run in and could fin tional day!” themselves in trouble


Tweet of the week

(18 Apr) Team GB’s most decorated Olympian confirmed his retirement and sadly will not be competing at the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, but he leaves the cycling world as a true legend.

(Odds from SkyBet)

Football hooliganism aside, Newcastle United are back in a tough position after their humiliating defeat against rivals Sunderland and the loss of their number one goalkeeper. Newcastle manager Alan Pardew has confirmed that Tim Krul will be out for the remainder of the season with a dislocated shoulder after landing in an awkward position blocking an Adam Johnson free kick. Losing the Dutchman may not be the first of Newcastle’s problems as they look ahead in the Premier League this season, but it certainly is up there with the worst. After the Tyne-Wear derby defeat, Newcastle find themselves in 13th place, a mere five points clear of the relegation zone. After having arguably the most successful January transfer window out of all the Premier League clubs, the Toon Army emerged with a reinvigorated side. Newcastle brought in the best bargain during the transfer window with the signing of Mapou Yanga M’Biwa from Montpellier for £6.7 million. Along with M’Biwa, Newcastle acquired the French contingent of Mathieu Debuchy, Yoan Gouffran, Massadio Haidara, Moussa and Sissoko for their first team squad. The successful signing of Sissoko was highlighted in his impressive debut against Aston Villa, and most notably in his game-winning performance versus Chelsea in their February match. Following their explosive win against Chelsea, Newcastle were more at ease in the Premier League and started to win confidence with their time in the Europa League. While they were not quite good enough to pull off a win against Benfica in the quarterfinals, there were certainly moments in which Newcastle’s side inspired hope. Yet, the match against Sunderland revealed the very real cracks in the foundations that have been a reality throughout the season. Pardew blamed the poor display on tiredness, explained by the fact that the team had played 90 minutes in the Europa League against Benfica just a few days earlier. Yet, four of the starters on the pitch for the derby had not started in Thursday’s game. There are more serious issues that are gripping Newcastle this season. For one, their away game

Spot the ball

1.) 3 2.) Aviva 3.) Benfica 4.) Stoke5.) 1996

Trampoline Slam Dunk Fail Boy at the Phoenix Suns Halftime show takes a slam dunk to a whole new level by going through the net along with the ball.




record is quite possibly the worst in the whole of the Premier League and considering three of the five games left in the season are away, Newcastle must overcome this trend. Also, Newcastle ought to get their corners in line as not one corner kick since October 2011 has materialized into anything. While Newcastle fans may have been going into the Tyne-Wear derby with an heir of confidence, the worst of their side was onceagain exposed. Newcastle, in my opinion, will stay up this season. However, with the absence of Krul, this will prove to be more difficult than originally intended. Even though Newcastle are probably safe, they will certainly be looking over their shoulders as the very threatening relegation zone looms close-by. Julia Dwyer

Alan Pardew Photography: Getty Images



1 2 3 4 5 6 Want to win a £4 MensBar voucher? E-mail where you think the ball is.



Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Giant killing ‘Canes make final on pens Wednesday Cup Semi Final Hurricanes




Ripley 49, Butler 54, 65 Hurricanes won 4-2 on penalties

Hoctor 31, 74 Babos 90+4

By Joey Barton at Longbenton

Skinner Tyler














Babos Baggot






Division 2 promotion hopefuls The Hurricanes caused a surprise in the semi finals of the Intra Mural Wednesday Cup with a penalty shootout victory over top tier side Barca-Law-Na. In a game where any neutrals will have felt they got their moneys worth for their travel costs, both sides had held the lead before a last second equaliser from Barca’s Joe Babos caused a dramatic 3-3 draw and took the game to a penalty shootout. The Hurricanes then recovered from this crushing setback to hold their nerve from twelve yards as they triumphed 4-2 on penalties. The early exchanges showed little sign of the breathtaking drama that was to follow as both sides struggled to come to terms with the ferocious wind which was blowing across the Longbenton 3G making conditions equally difficult for both sides. It was sloppy play from The Hurricanes, perhaps disturbed by the fact that they were not the strongest weather type on display, which presented their Division 1 counterparts with the game’s first real chance. Josh Tyler’s short back pass found its way to Jamie Hurworth who rounded the goalkeeper Ben Skinner and did well to get his shot on target from a tight angle, only for Will Lawrence to clear off the line. The first half continued with relatively few chances and it was not until the 26th minute that the Hurricanes had their first real sight at goal, when James Butler used persistence to battle his way down the left wing but his half volley from a tight angle actually travelled backwards and out for a throw in. Barca-Law-Na deservedly broke the deadlock on the half hour with a flow-

Hurricanes celebrate after penalty shoot out drama Photography: Joey Barton

ing move which blew the Hurricanes away. After good build up play between Babos, Hurworth and Jay Watson, Phil Beahon was able to pick out an inch perfect cross which the onrushing Alex Hoctor ruthlessly shot into the roof of the net. This goal brought about a frantic flurry of action which would become symbolic of the remaining hour at Longbenton. Firstly, the Hurricanes had an enormous appeal for a penalty for handball turned down in the midst of a goalmouth scramble, before the Lawyers launched a swift counter attack that ended with Watson through one on one with Skinner and despite beating the keeper Watson was powerless to prevent the committed Paul Lake from clearing off the goal line. This passage of play would prove to be a turning point in the game as the Hurricanes, probably relieved to be only 1-0 down at the break, came out of the blocks rapidly in the second half. It took just 4 minutes for the second tier side to find the leveller when Jack Towers, the Barca goalkeeper, was unable to prevent James Ripley’s powerful effort from flying into the far corner despite getting something on the ball as it flew past him.

Having wasted a good chance from a bizarre source, an indirect free kick which Dave Baggot blazed well over the bar, Barca-Law-Na looked shocked to fall behind with less than ten minutes gone of the second half. A superb through ball from the Hurricanes’ Harry O’Donnell sent James Butler clean through on goal and as the Barca defenders stood like statues, while appealing for an offside decision which was not forthcoming, Butler kept his cool to place the ball into the top corner of Barca’s goal. The Hurricanes clearly had their more illustrious counterparts rattled and extended their lead to 3-1 ten minutes later when a superb driven free kick from Tyler evaded everyone before being expertly finished by Butler at the back post. In the space of 13 unlucky minutes for Barca-Law-Na the Hurricanes’ constant pressing and refusal to let their opponents settle looked to have decided the contest. Unsurprisingly Barca threw men forward in search of a goal which would give them hope and it took a smart save low down from Skinner to prevent Hurworth from reducing the deficit from 20 yards out.

After Alex Rout had been booked for a foul on the Barca right wing the Hurricanes began to panic for the first time and with 16 minutes remaining the Lawyers were able to exploit the worry that was creeping in by reducing the arrears to 3-2, with Hoctor grabbing a brace with a close range finish after one of innumerable crosses had been swung in from the left wing. The tension both on the pitch and on the sidelines continued to grow as the finish line came into view for the Hurricanes, but Lawrence in particular showed no signs of flaking in the Hurricanes’ defence as he stood firm intercepting anything which came his way. It looked as if Barca had blown their chance of a trophy for the 2012/13 season when Towers got down well to deny Watson from 20 yards, yet with all eyes on the referee and time seemingly up the Lawyers forced one final corner. With 21 players in the box, otherwise known as the last chance saloon, it was almost inevitable that carnage would ensue and that certainly happened when Babos met the corner with a powerful header which deflected off one of the countless bodies in the goalmouth and past Skinner to salvage Barca-LawNa an unlikely 3-3 draw.

The last gasp goal left The Hurricanes looking dejected and it was to their great credit that they were able to pick themselves up and successfully convert all 4 of their penalties with Ripley, O’Donnell, Butler and skipper Adam Duckworth all scoring. Following Skinner’s save from Baggot’s low penalty, Ian Howard had to score to keep Barca in the contest, yet he sent the ball wide from 12 yards leading to scenes of great jubilation for the division 2 underdogs. Having beaten Newcastle Medics 1sts in the last 16, Barca-Law-Na will be disappointed not to have gone all the way to the final which will see The Hurricanes face Henderson Hall next Wednesday on the Longbenton 3G. Man of the Match: James Butler

The Cup final is this Wednesday (24/4/13) on the Longbenton 3G between the Hurricanes and Henderson Hall, with the Courier predicting Henderson Hall to lift the cup.

The Courier


Monday 22 April 2013

Sweet likes the wind: Henderson into final ability of the ball’s aerial flight. Whilst Boca twice led through goals from forward Dom Oldham, ultimately it was four goals and an all round outstanding display from Hendo’s advanced playmaker Robbie Sweet that earned his side a well-earned cup final showdown with this season’s surprise package The Hurricanes. The game began with Hendo exhibiting the early impetus, with Boca goalkeeper Alex Halls showing excellent reflexes on two occasions to prevent his side from falling behind in the opening five minutes. First the stopper did well to parry a point blank header from Tom Ullyott, before demonstrating excellent David de Gea-esque use of his feet to deny onrushing midfielder Armani Zafar. Hendo however continued to threaten, and came close once again a short while after, as Jack ‘Crouchy’ Mellor saw his powerful effort palmed round the post by Halls following a neat interchange down their right hand side between Mellor, and Sweet. From the resulting setpiece, Mellor was only able to scoop his effort over the crossbar after the deep corner had been headed back across goal. With Hendo doing all the early running, it seemed inevitable the game’s opening goal would be scored by them. However, the endearing unpredictability of Intra Mural football that we have seen on so many occasions this season showed itself once again, as inexplicably Boca took the lead with their first real effort on goal. Perhaps owing to the tumultuous wind, Hendo’s defence failed to deal with hoisted goalkick. Boca’s Oldham proceeded to show great opportunism to profit from the back four’s lapse in concentration, latching onto the bouncing ball before steering a low half-volley past the despairing dive of Chris Pudner. The goal did little to change the com-

Wednesday Cup Semi Final Boca Seniors


Oldham 24, 54

Henderson Hall


Sweet 50, 59, 81, 87

By Nick Gabriel at Longbenton










Sweet Mellor

Oldham Rowley

Greenhill O’Collins








Lady luck was positively beaming down on Henderson Hall FC last Wednesday, as they battled to a 4-2 win over Boca Seniors in the semi-final of the Intra Mural Wednesday Cup. The blistering April winds wreaked absolute anarchy on the Longbenton 3G, ultimately having a hand in most of the game’s goals as both defences struggled to deal with the cruel unpredict-

League Tables Wednesday 11 a-side Football

plexion of the cup-tie, as a defensively

Division 1 1

sound Boca unit continued to sit deep in the hope of preserving their narrow advantage over their technically superior opponents. Hendo did not let their heads drop following the goal however, as they continued to exhibit a decent mix of playing styles in an effort unlock the well-drilled Boca defensive setup. Whilst usually opting to get the ball down and play as a way of utilizing the ability of Sweet to drift into pockets of space in his favoured ‘trequartista’ role, they appeared equally comfortable at adopting a more direct approach, thus exploiting the aerial prowess of Mellor to initiate knock-downs and flick-ons that, in turn, could bring runners from midfield into play. Boca however remained defensively astute up until the interval; with centre-halves Alex Potts and Ben Hunter putting in notably fine first-half performances that ensured Hendo were kept at bay. The Hall did however eventually force their way back into the contest, drawing themselves level within 5 minutes of the restart. Sweet’s flighted free-kick from the right touchline was seemingly intended as a cross but, undoubtedly aided by the wind, ended up dropping straight in at the back stick, its path unaltered, in true World Cup 2002 Ronaldinho fashion. With Hendo seemingly set to take control of the game, the Oranje suffered another surprise setback as they fell back behind. On this occasion, a neat slide rule pass from Boca’s skipper Andy Bisby ran beautifully into the path of Oldham. Not for the first time the attentive striker made no mistake, poking the ball home past the advancing Pudner. Much to the pleasure of the neutrals watching on, a previously lifeless game had suddenly sparked into life. The frantic beginning to the second half showed now signs of coming to an end, as Hendo responded with haste to level proceedings shortly after. In a similar goal

was not dealt with by Boca’s static back four. The onrushing Sweet was quickest to react, showing great poise to hold off the retreating defenders, before lashing the ball into the corner of the net. The rejuvenated Hendo outfit continued to lay siege on the Boca goal, and really should have taken the lead for the first time in the encounter following a string of decent chances. First, lively winger Steve Welch reacted to a moment’s indecision in the Boca penalty area, only to poke the loose ball narrowly past the post. Soon after, Welch came close once again, this time demonstrating great endeavor to bundle his way past a string of challenges, only for his well-hit strike to be well denied by a smart save from Halls in the Boca goal. With the game entering its latter stages, there was seemingly ever going to be one winner. Hendo were eventually rewarded for their dominance of proceedings throughout when they took the lead for the first time with just 10 minutes left to play. Not for the first time, there was a huge element of fortune about the goal. On this occasion, a first time cross from

to Boca’s first, a looped ball over the top

Sweet once again seemed to be given a

Robbie Sweet whips in another free kick Photography: Joey Barton

Division 13

Division 2

















Newcastle Medics 2nds







28 1










helping hand by the wind, dropping in at the far post over the motionless Halls to complete a somewhat auspicious hattrick. Sweet’s fourth goal sooner after was arguably the most fortunately of the lot. A swept corner form the left-hand side somehow found its way in unassisted, despite some half-hearted claims from centre-half Jimmy Taylor claiming that he got the final touch, to cap a extraordinary goal collection. Whilst Boca may feel harden done by regarding the nature of the goals they conceded, they can have little complaint about the overall result. The Buenos Aires affiliates were second best for the duration of one of the most peculiar cupties the Intra Mural world has seen for sometime. Hendo meanwhile have every right to be delighted with the semi-final victory, and will undoubtedly be optimistic about their chances of beating The Hurricanes in the Cup Final next Wednesday, in an effort to win some long-awaited silverware and at last rid themselves of the label of being Intra Mural’s perennial under-achievers. Man of the Match: Robbie Sweet

Division 41









Pld Pld WW



Jesmondino FC








1 1 FCBarca Bayern Toonich Law Na

Team Team

11 12



0 2 6750 1715 29 28


Pts Pts


Newcastle Medics 1sts







21 2

The Hurricanes









Brown Magic FC








2 2 Thundercats Newcastle Medics 1sts




1 2 5436 1720 23 26


Henderson Hall FC







16 3

Aftermath FC









Newcastle Dynamos








3 3 Sub-Standard Liege Henderson Hall

12 12



3 4 5141 3229 23 22


Dyslexic Untied







15 4

Roman Villa FC









Politic Thistle FC








Dyslexic Untied 4 4 The Establishment

12 10



19 4 5 3532 2326 18









12 5

Boca Seniors









Newhist FC








5 5 Trigger Happy Crayola

12 12



8 7 3718 6222 12 15


Dyslexic Untied


















Multiple Scoregasms








6 (R) Geomatics Aftermath

11 12



9 9 1814 5147



Borussia Forsyth









Castle Leazes









Bio Neverlosen








7 (R) Crystal CastlePhallus Leazes

12 12



1110 1512 7542


Top Goalscorers

6: Womersley (Crayola)

Top Goalscorers

5: McCrory, Butler (Hurricanes)

Top Goalscorers

4:Hughes (Politic Thistle)

23: Batham (Medic 2s)

5: Hoctor (Barca)

19: Duckworth (Hurricanes)

13: Thornton (Politic Thistle)

10: Campbell (Medic 1s),

4: Robson (Dyslexic), Holt, Needham (Medics 2s),

8: Jones (Aftermath)

4: Stacey, Humberstone, Bond (Ecosoccer), Jones (Leazes)

3:Wren (Brown), Walton (Ne- 21: Wimshurst (Subwhist) Standard Liege)

9: Hurworth (Barca)

Results - 17/4/13 (unless stated) Division One Medics 2nds 2 vs 0 Medics 1sts

Fixtures - 24/4/13 (unless stated)

6: Wilson (Aftermath)

3: Golzari (Aftermath)

Division Two Ecosoccer 2 vs 5 Boca Seniors (15/4/13) Roman Villa 2 vs 1 Castle Leazes Ecosoccer 3 vs 1 The Hurricanes (18/4/13)

Division One Division Two Medics 1sts vs Henderson (22/4/13) Longbenton 3G 7.00pm Boca Seniors vs Aftermath Redhall 4 2.00pm Dyslexic Untied vs Medics 2nds Longbenton Gr 2 2.00pm Hurricanes vs Ecosoccer Redhall 5 2.00pm Castle Leazes vs Lokomotiv Longbenton 3G 3.45pm Villa vs Aftermath (25/4/13) Longbenton 3G 5.30pm

6: Smith (Jesmondino)

Top Goalscorers

2: Grosvenor (Scorgasms),, 18: Armour (Toonich) Rowe (Brown)

Division Three Newcastle Dynamos 7 vs 3 Newhist FC (16/4/13) Jesmondino P vs P Scorgasms (16/4/13) Bio Neverlosen 1 vs 6 Brown Magic FC Jesmondino FC 4 vs 0 Brown Magic FC

12: Hammil (Trigger) 8: Prichard (Thundercats), Page (Toonich), Comer (Trigger) 7: O’Callaghan (Toonich)

Division Four Geomatics 0 vs 5 Thundercats Trigger Happy 1 vs 4 Sub-Standard Liege Bayern Toonich 5 vs 0 Crystal Phallus Bayern Toonich 3 vs 3 Thundercats (18/4/13)

Division Three Division Four Dynamos vs Bio Never (23/4/13) Longbenton 3G 5.30pm The Est vs Geomatics Brown M vs Scorgasms (23/4/13) Longbenton 3G 7.00pm Thundercats vs The Est Bio Neverlosen vs Jesmondino Longbenton 3G 8.00pm Newhist vs Brown M (25/4/13) Longbenton 3G 7.00pm

(23/4/13) Longbenton 3G 8.30pm Longbenton Gr 3 2.00pm


Monday 22 April 2013

The Courier

Humbers humbles Hurricanes

Wednesday Division 2 Ecosoccer


Bond 1, Humberstone 7, 54

Hurricanes Ripley 10


By Jack Gelsthorpe Online Sport Editor In arguably the biggest game of the season for both teams, The Hurricanes were left contemplating what could have been as they trudged off the pitch on a blustery Thursday evening. At the other end of the pitch Ecosoccer were celebrating a well deserved win; their celebrations intensified through managing to hold on to victory, comfortably, with only ten men for 80 minutes. This top of the table clash would decide who would take the first definitive step in sealing the league and clambering up to Division 1. Both teams sat at the summit of the league with 21 points each; Ecosoccer had the slight advantage with a stronger goal difference and therefore were looking at this match as a real chance to secure their place at the top. However The Hurricanes were coming into the game having just bested Barca-law-na on penalties to progress to the cup final; therefore confidence was rife among both teams. The perfect recipe for a classic top of the table clash. The match didn’t start off as expected; usually top of the table clashes start off with both teams endeavouring not to concede rather than looking to score. This was not the case. Ecosoccer were one goal up within a minute through one of the quickest goals of the season and arguably one of the best. The ball fell to Tom Bond 25 yards away from goal; with no real options he chose to blast the ball straight into the top right hand corner of the struggling keepers’ goal. The word ‘unstoppable’ is thrown around a lot by sports journalist these days, however this truly was. From the moment it left his foot the ball was going straight in, the trajectory of the shot was true, and the arc was straight out of the textbook. The joy on the Ecosoccer teams face was perfectly mirrored by the bewilderment on the Hurricanes faces. For the neutral it was the perfect start to the match. The Hurricanes were in shock and

almost conceded straight after when a long ball was punted up to Rob Stacey who took it calmly into the penalty area before rifling a shot just wide. The Hurricanes defence were in disarray and this was again shown when Eco striker Chris Humberstone had a free kick on the far right hand side of the penalty area; the ball in was pretty poor yet it managed to evade all attackers and defenders and nestle into the bottom right hand corner of the net. The Hurricanes at this point were rocking; Ecosoccer were coasting. However this all changed when The Hurricanes started on their first real attack of the match ten minutes in. Weltart took the ball and ran at the opposition defence, getting into the penalty area with ease in which he was then taken down illegally by the last man James Wheeler. The Hurricanes were awarded a penalty, a lifeline in a game that looked ready to overwhelm them. However their luck didn’t stop there as the referee deemed Wheeler to be the last man and subsequently sent him off. Up stepped Weltart to calmly score the penalty and many felt the match had swung completely in favour of the trailing team. This was not the case. To their credit, the Eco boys kept two up front and left their midfield one man short. It was a risky strategy but it paid off as the nervy Hurricanes defence were constantly being kept on the back-foot through balls over the top which they were unable to deal with all game. This was shown through the next Eco attack, two minutes after being pegged down to ten men. The ball was chipped over the top to Humberstone who tried a tricky lob against the onrushing keeper; he completely fluffed it but this gave Ecosoccer some confidence as they were still creating more chances than The Hurricanes. The rest of the first half was pretty non-descript; The Hurricanes attack lacked any form of cohesion and looked pretty toothless and Ecosoccer were happy to take the 2-1 lead into half time. Needless to say The Hurricanes were given the hairdryer treatment at half time and all were expecting one way traffic due to their extra man in the second half. However again it was Ecosoccer who created the first chance with the keeper pulling off some excellent saves against threatening strikes from Humberstone and Bond. The Hurricanes’ ball retention was great in midfield yet they kept coming up against a brick wall

in the final third, eventually giving in and trying too much which meant that Ecosoccer could constantly regain possession of the ball. They then utilised this possession to great effect through scoring one of the goals of the season. If their first goal was excellent then this was something else. Captain Tom Warren played an inch perfect through ball to Humberstone who found himself 25 yards out with no support. Not deterred by this he then had the audacity to play a chipped lob shot which completely bamboozled the keeper. It oozed class and his Cantonaesque celebration was as nonchalant as the goal. This goal completely destroyed The Hurricanes whose frustration had been building all game. They began to play like a defeated team; however their determination to the last was admirable , flashing a header wide and rifling in a few snap shots on the edge of the box;.

They never really looked like reeling in Ecosoccer who looked imperious in defence throughout. Eventually the ref brought an end to an absorbing and high class encounter. The red card did affect the outcome of the game as it looked very open with 22 men on the pitch; yet Ecosoccer ran out deserved winners having battled for the majority of the match with one less man. This result leaves Ecosoccer still at the top of the league with The Hurricanes on their coat tails with a cup final to savour as well. The Hurricanes will have to win the return clash at Redhall this Wednesday to stand a chance of winning the title. Whilst this match didn’t necessarily decide the outcome of the league, it did indicate the high class nature of Division Two football and hopefully either of these teams can put up a better fight than Borussia Forsyth with the big boys next year. Man of the Match: Chris Humberstone













Humberstone Finelli

Bond Weltart







The Hurricanes’ Josh Tyler looks to take on two goal hero Chris Humberstone Photography: Jack Gelsthorpe

Seconds edge rivals to seal title Continued from page 48

The 1sts continued to dominate play, with Edwards’ long-range shot being pushed over. However hare-like Hindley was a constant threat. After escaping Jones’ attention once more, his low cross was turned goalwards by Dave Swetman, only for Anderson to again stand tall as the ball ballooned away. The goal at the coach lane end certainly seemed to be leading a charmed life. Shortly after half time 1sts’ right winger Rhishi Dhand’s pull back found Josh Davison lurking and after his shot was blocked, Campbell’s two follow up efforts were somehow repelled away. As the minutes ticked on, the atmosphere got tenser as the calls from players began to get slightly louder and more strained. The blindingly obvious phrase of the ‘first goal being key’ seemed even more

appropriate for the derby with so much at stake. Ultimately it wasn’t so much the first goal which settled the game but the first two goals, coming under a minute apart, saw the colour begin to drain out of the 1sts’ complexions. The first goal came from a corner, delivered pinpoint from the left by Elliot Welch. The ball slowly arrowed towards the goal, with the help of a strong gust of wind, to be met perfectly by a clump of attackers and defenders charging at goal like an angered Spanish bull. Unsurprisingly the ball was bashed into the net along with a number of players, with 2nds central defender Dave Gardiner claiming the final touch. If the first goal was something of a Tony Pulis wet dream, the second was one Pep Guardiola would have been proud of, and a worthy title sealing goal. Winning the ball midway inside his own half on the left, Hindley slipped the

ball into Batham whose first time lay off was brilliantly dummied by the advancing Tom Needham. With the 1sts defenders sold by the dummy, the ball fell straight into the path of Hindley who clipped a perfect ball over the top for Needham to run onto, deftly lobbing the advancing Anderson with one touch. The 2nds’ supporters poured onto the pitch manically, knowing that this goal had likely sealed them the title. After halftime the 1sts had changed to the tried and tested 4-4-2, however as they pushed on in search of a way back into the game, the five-man midfield of the 2nds began to overrun them. Elliot Welch, who could have been described as either mercurial or a luxury player depending on your viewpoint, began to find space and fizzed a shot just over with his sledgehammer right boot. As the Medics 1sts’ began to run out of

ideas, the 2nds looked ever dangerous on the counter attack with substitute Joe Bullock nearly wrapping the game up but for a questionable offside call. As the final whistle went, the 2nds fans and players poured onto the pitch in delight. Captain Neil Dalton was mobbed, soaked with water, and serenaded with a personalised version of the Coloccini song. Dalton said “To get into Division 1 was great, but to win it first time is unbelievable. When we lost to the 1sts earlier in the season I thought we were in trouble, however going undefeated since that match and capping it all with a win against out arch rivals is no more than we deserve. With a few big players leaving at the end of the season, it’s great for them to go out on a high.” Man of the Match: Tom Needham

Anderson Jones




Emms Edwards Davidson




Batham Hindley


Needham Swetman Wood


Gardiner Johnston

Parker Conly

The Courier

Monday 22 April 2013


N-ice and easy: ‘Cats National Champions Men’s Ice Hockey By Jack Legind in Sheffield Newcastle Wildcats C won their National Championships Tier in Sheffield last weekend, as they went on a 6-game unbeaten streak to finish top of the pile. The Wildcats C started in Group D, and after goals from Paddy Burger, Paddy Cullen and Ian Pitcher saw them beat the Sheffield Bears E 3-0, a George Littlewood goal helped them draw 1-1 with the Bears’ D team in their second game of the tournament. The game saw netminder Stu Tomlinson make a fantastic penalty shot save, awarded to Sheffield for an alleged trip. Next, the Wildcats C took on Southampton Spitfires C, in what was a repeat of a game their respective B teams played early in the day, in which Wildcats B won 1-0. In their matchup, a goal from Joe Boustead and two from Joy Craighead saw the Wildcats C secure another 3-0 lead; remaining top of their group and leave the Spitfires without a win in Sheffield. The Wildcats’ final group game saw them facing Hull Ice Hogs C with the chance to secure top spot in the group and earn a place in the semi-final, a 0-0 draw saw them achieve both. With the Newcastle Wildcats B team

Newcastle had the energy to play and try to win one more game. Facing them in the final was the also undefeated Manchester Metrostars D, who had won all 5 of their games so far, scoring 14 goals and keeping 3 shutouts. Following an ice cut, the final began and started out a close game with chances for both teams to take a lead. Wildcats netminder Stu Tomlinson was forced into a couple of saves to keep it at 0-0, but the Wildcats had chances too, with Richard Wardle and Joy Craighead almost breaking the deadlock before Paddy Burger poked the puck into the net with 11:27 gone to put Newcastle into the lead. The game continued to go from end to end, with Manchester desperately pressing for the goal to level the game and Newcastle trying to secure the title for themselves. The Metros kept the pressure on right until the end, and sensed they could possibly get something from the game when Newcastle’s Ian Pitcher was sent to the penalty box for hooking with just a minute to go. The Wildcats put their strongest offensive and defensive penalty kill unit onto the ice for one final shift in an attempt to keep the puck out of Tomlinson’s goal, and despite the Metros fighting to get a goal right until the buzzer went, the Wildcats held on to win the final 1-0 and with it the National Championships

Captain Paddy Cullen “I’m over the moon with the win and I’m incredibly proud of every single player. It’s been an honour and a pleasure to captain this team over the last year and it was a fantastic end.” already eliminated from their competition after finishing 3rd in Group B, the Cs were the only representatives of Newcastle University left and faced a strong Cardiff Redhawks team in the semi-final. The Redhawks opened the scoring with only 4 minutes played, before Joe Boustead skated through Cardiff ’s defence and the shattered remains of George Littlewood’s stick to score just two minutes later to make it 1-1. Wildcats Captain Paddy Cullen then put his team into the lead, before Joy Craighead scored a late goal to make the win safe and put Newcastle into the final. Wildcats’ semi-final was the last one to be played, which meant they were back out for the final just minutes after winning the last game, but spurred on by the thought of winning the current squad’s first National Championships

with a 6-game undefeated streak. After collecting the trophy, Wildcats captain Paddy Cullen said, after possibly his last fixture for the team, “I’m over the moon with the win and I’m incredibly proud of every single player. It’s been an honour and a pleasure to captain this team over the last year and it was a fantastic end.” With the league season now over for all the Newcastle Wildcats teams, the Nationals win was a season – and career – high for those involved, and the C team has also set the bar for the A team, who travel to IceSheffield to compete in the Tier 1 National Championships on the 27/28th April. Coincidentally, they will also play against teams from Cardiff, Hull, Sheffield and Southampton, in their bid to emulate what was achieved on the ice by their C teamers.

The Wildcats in action Photography: Andrew Beesley

Sport Monday 22 April 2013 Issue 1269 Free

Sports Editors: Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors: Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe | @Courier_Sport

Unrest blights derby By Freddie Caldwell Sports Editor

Medics 2nds celebrate their suprise title win Photography: Ralph Blackburn

Derby upset gives Medics 2nds title

Medics 2nds seal Intral Mural Division 1 title with 2-0 win over Medics 1sts

Wednesday Division 1 Medics 1sts


Medics 2nds


Gardiner 55, Needham 56

By Ralph Blackburn Sports Editor The Medics 2nds sealed the Intra Mural Wednesday League Division One title in a hard-fought derby victory over title rivals Medics 1sts. Two goals in as many minutes half way through the second period were enough to seal a typically tense affair, where clear-cut chances were hard to come by. The victory was the climax of a re-

markable rise by the Medics 2nds, who were playing Division Two football only 12 months ago. Despite talking themselves up as title challengers at the start of the season, few tipped the 2nds to be in the running at the business end of the season, let alone take the title at such a canter. The poor start of preseason favourites Barca-Law-Na scuppered their chances of retaining their title, whilst after a strong beginning to the season, the Medics 1sts began to fade as their noisy neighbours continued to grind out crucial wins. Arguably the 2nds should not have been underestimated. They won the prestigious National Medics tournament in the spring of last year, and strengthened well over the summer period, with ex-Eco striker Josh Batham proving a particularly inspired signing. Any doubts over Batham’s ability at the

Goals from Gardiner and Needham cap back to back titles for side

top level were swiftly laid to rest, with the 2nd’s striker running away with the Division One golden boot. Despite the 2nds leading the table, the 1sts were still the bookies favourites and appeared confident of registering a victory that would keep them in the title race. The phrase ‘typical derby challenge’ was heard as early as the first minute from the two benches, as 2nds midfielder Elliot Welch flew in two footed to a fifty-fifty ball. Veteran ref Steve Catchpole opted to only show a yellow for a challenge that in the Premier League would have been a straight red. With a gale that would often be seen gushing around Cape Horn blowing against the table toppers, the Medics 1sts began to assert themselves, monopolising possession and territory. Lone striker Nathan Campbell’s movement was causing the 2nds defence all

sorts of problems. Campbell was constantly pulling either left of right, and was twice nearly released by Davison and Edwards however the ball failed to fall kindly. The knowledge that a win would seal the title seemed to weigh heavy on the 2nds’ shoulders, and despite usually being extremely composed on the ball, short passes were being mistimed whilst long balls were falling straight back to the 1sts. The 2nds however nearly broke the deadlock after 25 minutes with a lovely first time pass from central midfielder Tom Needham, seeing left winger Guy Hindley streak past Nick Jones and slide through a cross in the fabled corridor of uncertainty. Centre back Niall Durkin’s sliced clearance bulleted straight into shocked ‘keeper Dale Anderson and deflect away. continued on page 46

Newcastle city centre witnessed some of the worst scenes of football related violence in years last weekend following Newcastle’s 3-0 loss at St James’ Park to Sunderland in the Tyne-Wear derby. On a weekend that also saw riots at Wembley in the FA Cup semi-final between Millwall and Wigan, parallels have been drawn between these events and the dark days of English football hooliganism in the 1970s and 80s. The derby has always been a match that has attracted a level of violence but a number of factors contributed to this being a particularly fractious affair. Tensions were high with both teams fighting relegation at this crucial stage of the season making the match a virtual ‘sixpointer’. In addition to this, Sunderland had just appointed a controversial new manager in the form of Paulo Di Canio who has attracted a lot of media attention for his supposedly fascist political views. This lead the Newcastle fans inside the stadium to chant: “We’ve got Coloccini, you’ve got Mussolini”.

The club said it was “embarrassed and appalled” by the behaviour of the “so-called fans” The majority of the trouble took place outside the stadium, where many Newcastle supporters who hadn’t been at the game turned up in the hope of confronting the travelling Sunderland fans. The police were ready for this eventuality and kept the Sunderland contingent inside the stadium. Unfortunately this meant that the Newcastle fans, frustrated by the poor result, turned their anger on the police; bottles were thrown and bins were set on fire. Newcastle United said it was “embarrassed and appalled by the behaviour of a minority of so-called fans”. To emphasise this point, the club said it would “take the strongest possible action against those involved in the disturbances and will impose immediate lifetime bans on all those found guilty”. What is most worrying about these incidents is the potential that it deters some fans from attending games, particularly families. However these incidents are very rare and hopefully this weekend of violence is an anomaly. Newcastle United is usually a friendly club to visit and St James’ Park is very rarely a threatening place to watch football. Those involved in football hooliganism must be dealt with strongly to ensure that this remains the case.

The Courier 1269  

The Courier 1269