The Courier 1265

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 18 February 2013 Issue 1265 Free

LIFE’S A BEACH! DJANGO DJANGO INTERVIEW, p.14

THE BIONIC MAN: RISE OF THE MACHINES Science, p.39

Win tickets!

Film p.36

Mother and Ben’s a life saver. Are you? daughter left in the lurch

By Emily Armstrong Ongoing issues with Student Finance have meant a current Stage 2 student with a young daughter has been informed she owes them almost £2,500 in addition to not receiving her full student loan this January.

Student Finance claim that the student failed to submit crucial supporting documents that were requested in September 2012, resulting in her entitlement being reassessed.

However, the student - who wishes to remain anonymous - insists that she had submitted the correct documents before the October deadline and claims she knows Student Finance have received her forms.

Speaking to The Courier, the 25 yearold student explained: “This has been going on since December.”

She alleges that she “received a letter, dated 10 December, saying I owed £2,500 because I hadn’t submitted the

News p.3

right documents.

“So I rang Student Finance straightaway and told them they’d made a mistake and I had actually sent the forms.

“The woman I spoke to on the 17 December told me she could see my form on the system.

“So my docuShe elaboments were on rated: “How am their system the time!”

I supposed to whole Students with feed my three dependents are eligible for a Deyear old?” pendent Grant from Student Finance and have to submit additional forms each year.

The student added: “After my initial phone call I was told my account would need to be referred again to a different department so it could be reassessed. In December I was told it would take them 15 working days.

“So I gave them that and a few extra days, then I called them back after New continued on page 4

Campus security issue warning over Jesmond stalker

By Susie Beever News Editor The University has issued a formal warning to students living in the Jesmond area of a potential stalker.

Police were called out in the early hours last week after two female students were reportedly followed home through the student suburb by a man described as being in his twenties.

The incident occurred at around 3am last Wednesday, after two students from the University were walking home from town.

One of the students told The Couri-

er: “It was at roughly 3am and walked home down past the Robinson Library, through the underpass that comes out at the Jesmond Church and Jesmond Metro.

“We went down Eslington Terrace and at the beginning of this path we realised there was a man in a hooded coat walking behind us.

“When we got to the bottom of Eslington Terrace, by the bridge over the metro on Haldane Terrace, we stopped and chatted as one of our friends was turning off onto Osborne Road. We wanted to let the man pass before we let her go off on her own.”

The man responsible has been described as roughly aged 20-25, white and of average build and height with a black coat with hood, grey jogging bot-

the man was behind us again. We had got a good look of the guy when we’d stopped on Haldane Terrace and that’s how I realised it was the same guy.

toms and white trainers.

The student added: “Half way down this road I turned around and noticed

“Before we’d been talking a lot but after that we went quiet and just picked up the pace we were walking at. He copied

“Before we’d been talking a lot but after that we went quiet and just picked up the pace we were walking at. He was barely a foot behind us.”

the pace and by the time we reached the West Jesmond Primary School he was barely a foot behind us.”

The two students eventually re-joined with a male friend, and returned home shortly afterwards alerting the police at 4:20am.

“We alerted them to the fact there was a man stalking around the Jesmond area, just in case there was anyone else walking home that may prompt him to follow them. Yesterday we went and informed campus security and our managers at work, both of whom have forwarded it on to others.”

The matter is still being investigated.

News

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NEWS

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

News Editors: George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor: Aine Stott courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

LGBT officer “delighted” with 4 passing of equal marriage bill

SHAKING UP HARLEM

Is the Baauer-inspired video meme the Gangnam of 2013?

8

EDINBURGH GAGGED EUSA take out court injunction to stop student paper printing

COMMENT

10 13 SPORT

UNI LAD TV

Is their sense of humour a bit of fun or offensive?

NEIGH BOTHER?

Are supermarkets treating customers with contempt?

42 43

STATE OF PLAY A look at the Six Nations results to date

FROZEN OUT

Wildcats freeze as Bears heat up for win

By Sophie Green The House of Commons voted in favour of the controversial Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill on 5th February.

The Bill was passed by 400 votes to 175, with a majority of 225. MPs had a free vote; they were not ordered to vote a certain way by party whips.

The new law allows same-sex couples to marry in civil ceremonies. Pre-existing civil partnerships can also be converted to marriages.

Same sex couples will now have the same legal rights as opposite sex couples, in terms of inheritance, age of consent, pension provision and child maintenance.

The new legislation affects marriage in England and Wales.

There are currently plans for a Same Sex Marriage Bill in Scotland, but Christos nothing has been done in Northern Mexias, the Union’s LGBT Ireland.

The main source Officer, said of opposition to the result was the Bill came from the Conservative “overwhelmParty, with 136 ingly positive” Tory MPs, almost half the party, voting against it.

Thirty-five abstained from voting.

Two cabinet ministers, Environment Secretary Owen Paterson and Welsh Secretary David Jones, also opposed the Bill.

On the other hand, Prime Minister David Cameron was vocal in his support for same-sex marriage, claiming that the new law was an “important step forward.”

However, Conservative MP Sir Roger Gale spoke out vehemently against the Bill, claiming: “It is not possible to redefine marriage. Marriage is the union between a man and a woman.”

“It is Alice in Wonderland territory, Orwellian, almost, for any government to seek to come along and try to rewrite the lexicon.”

Conservative MP David Burrowes was also disappointed by the result, but claimed that the Conservative vote reflected the divided opinion of the nation.

He also stated that the Bill would be heavily opposed when it reached the House of Lords.

Ed Costelloe, Former Chairman of Somerton and Frome Conservative Association, pointed to the problems which this in-party division will cause: “Over half the Conservative Party have not voted for this.

“That’s catastrophic for the Prime Minister in terms of political management.”

Opposition to the Bill also came from religious groups. Reverend Malcolm Brown, Director of Mission and Public affairs for Archbishops’ Council, Church of England, stated: “The

riage on legal and emotional grounds.

It is thought to be more romantic to propose marriage than to propose a civil partnership, and the status of marriage puts same sex couples on an equal level to heterosexual couples, unlike civil partnerships, which were thought to undermine same sex couples.

International recognition for marriage is also far greater than for civil partnerships, which vary from country to country.

Darren McCabe, who has been in a civil partnership since 2008, expressed

servatism but that’s the nature of a free vote.

“The important thing is that the bill passed which showed that politicians of all parties can make a choice to support equality.

“I was also delighted to see the determination with which the Prime Minister has pursued equal marriage.”

“I would now like to see the Church of England and the Church of Wales amend certain canon laws to allow them to comply with the proposals of the Equal Marriage Bill.”

PARTY TIME

Famous faces Stephen Fry and Hugh Grant were among the guests celebrating the bill’s passing with DPM Nick Clegg Image: Cabinet Office (Flickr)

Church is against gay marriage because the changing definition of marriage will affect the whole of society.”

However, the Bill generally enjoyed support from the public and from MPs. Only twenty-two Labour MPs and four Liberal Democrats voted against it.

Labour Leader Ed Miliband said: “This is a proud day and an important step forward in the fight for equality in Britain.” Deputy Prime Minister and Lib Dem Leader Nick Clegg claimed: “I genuinely believe that we will look back on today as a landmark for equality in Britain.”

Members of the LGBT community have been campaigning for equal mar-

his delight at the new legislation. He claimed it would: “help the economy which has seen massive job cuts in recent years.”

“People seem to underestimate the value and strength of the pink pound – many LGBT folk will have larger disposable incomes.”

Newcastle University Students’ Union’s LGBT Officer, Christos Mexias, said the result was “overwhelmingly positive” and said: “It’s a very important step in the right direction and it heralds the right solution to the civil rights issue of our day.”

“It was disappointing to see elected politicians hiding behind religious con-

Editor Ben Travis Online Editor Ben Brown News Editors George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor Aine Stott Comment Editors Georgie Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor Jennifer Evans Features Editor Tom Nicholson Listings Editor Sally Priddle Lifestyle Editors Catherine Davison and Ellie Cropper Online Lifestyle Editors Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood Beauty Editor Amy Macauley Arts Editors Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editor Grace Harvey Film NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940 The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced Editors Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor Chris Binding TV Editor Chris Taylor Online by students, for students. It’s never too late TV Editor Ben Parkin Music Editors Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor Sophie Coto get involved in the paper, whether you’re letta Science Editor James Simpson Puzzle Editors Sally Priddle and Tom Nicholson Sports Editors Ralph a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more Copy Editors Rachel Horrocks, Charley Monteith, Leanne Penning, Chris Smith, Matty Aston, Sabine Kutcher information.

He was extremely positive about his experience of attitudes towards the LGBT community in Newcastle, saying: “The support network at the University is great and the LGBT society is doing an amazing job at making everyone feel welcome.

“Having recently worked with volunteers off campus I was pleased to discover that people outside the world of university are also incredibly supportive of LGBT emancipation.”

Following the success of the Same Sex Marriage Bill in England, France’s National Assembly has approved a law allowing same sex couples to marry and adopt children, one week later.

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news.3

Monday 18 February 2013

Lecturer elopes to Ethopia

By Guro Seim Dr Peter Kellett, a senior lecturer in architecture, is seeking an adventure as he just landed in the exotic and crowded capital of Addis Ababa in Ethiopia.

In order to address Ethiopia’s urging housing issues he will be away from Newcastle University during the next six months.

Ethiopia is the second most populated country in Africa with a population of nearly 90 million people.

Ethiopia, and in turn I am sure I will learn a lot from them.”

In addition to the work, he is planning to forge links between the University of Addis Ababa and Newcastle University.

“In the UK, the image of Ethiopia many of us still have is a country beset by famine, but the country has changed since then,” he says.

With a stronger link between the countries, he is hoping the mutual understanding between the countries will increase.

Dr Kellett said: “this will be an excel-

“We hope to make modest but significant changes to the living conditions for the poor majority here in Ethiopia”

EXPLORING ETHOPIA

Dr Peter Kellett hopes that his trip will help address the need for housing in Ethiopia, as well as strengthening ties between the two universities Image: carlosoliveirareis

This, combined with an urban expansion during the last years, has unsurprisingly led to a severe rise in the demand for homes.

“There is a crucial need to support the professionals who can address the problems of inadequate housing and urban expansion”, Kellett said.

He has broad experience in the field, and his specialist research is housing in a development context in the Global Urban Research Unit at Newcastle University.

In Addis Ababa he will help to supervise masters and doctoral students, and he will work on research projects together with local academics. Dr Kellett said: “research is vital to ensure that all efforts to improve housing conditions are based on high quality data and analysis.

“I will do my best to share my skills and experience with new colleagues in

lent opportunity to build a strong relationship between the two universities.”

After one week abroad he is still getting used to the new country.

Kellett spoke to The Courier, saying: “I have not yet had a chance to see much of the city as we have spent the time learning about Ethiopia and their local language Amharic, which is really challenging.”

Dr Kellett is assisting a program organized by Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO).

Their 1,500 volunteers placed in Africa, Asia and Latin America are all working and sharing their experience to tackle poverty through empowerment.

In Ethiopia there are in this moment 110 volunteers and Kellett says they are all very motivated: “We all hope to make modest but significant changes to the living conditions for the poor majority here in Ethiopia.”

Ben’s donation serves as example to the rest of us • •

1 in 2 million match for a recipient who Ben now exclusively donates to Course of injections starts at home before staying in a hotel and hospital

By George Sandeman News Editor Last September, Marrow Newcastle coPresident Ben Parkin donated 6.2 million stem cells and saved someone’s life.

Speaking to The Courier, he said: “I had to go over to Sheffield for a full

medical history work up. I got given a chest x-ray, an ECG - to make sure my heart is okay - and then a physical to make sure I’m healthy enough.”

These standard medical procedures check potential donors for any possible reaction to the injections that stimulate the production of stem cells in the bone

marrow.

“It’s really rare for someone not to be cleared to go ahead with the donation, something like 0.04% chance of being declined.”

Once you’ve been cleared to donate, a nurse will start off the course of injections by coming to your home once a day for three days prior to going to the hospital.

“On the fourth day I went to the hospital in Sheffield for another dose of injections then you’re free to do whatever you want.”

The fifth day sees the donor going to the hospital to be hooked up to the extraction machine which draws blood from one arm, collects the stem cells be-

fore pumping the rest of the blood back into the other arm.

It means that Asked what not all that he felt when he found out he was much blood match, Ben said: is actually do- a“I’m going nated. The aim to lie, not fear. I was is to extract six terrified at first even though I million stem cells per donor knew the procedure was safe. But eventually you realise you’re doing such a good thing that it would be selfish not to go through with it.”

Asked how he felt at the end of the donation, he said: “I felt fine, they say

you’re going to feel a bit ill and flu-like but I was absolutely fine.”

Asked what the most important thing he wanted to communicate to prospective donors was, he said: “That the donation procedure really isn’t that hard.”

On 18 February, at the Hyena comedy club, there is a launch night for the cycling fundraising events taking place over the next few months.

Are you the saviour Martin has been looking for?

Next Marrow clinic is 28 February in The Cube, SU

4.news

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Harlem Shake - this year’s Gangnam Style?

By Sophie Green A new dance craze has swept the internet in the form of the Harlem Shake, a thirty second video of four men dancing manically to a clip of the song by Baauer. The men all sport a range of morph suits – one entirely in pink, one is a power rangers one an alien and one in black wearing a mask. This bizarre video has captured the imHarlem Shake agination of the is trending on YouTube commuand a huge Twitter and the nity, number of spinvideo has over offs have been 2 million views made, including Shake since last week ‘Harlem (Hedgehog Style)’, which features a hedgehog being jiggled around in a tutu, and ‘Harlem Shake – Naked Blizzard Edition’, which, as the name suggests, involves people dancing around in the snow, wearing nothing but fluorescent underwear.

The original Harlem Shake was uploaded by a YouTube member called ‘Filthy Frank’, who has previously uploaded around 140 videos, including ‘How to Dubstep’, which also features the bright pink morph suit and erratic dancing.

Harlem Shake is trending on Twitter and the video has had over two million views since it was uploaded a week ago. This makes it hugely more popular than the original hit by Baauer, which

has had only three million since May 2012. Some fans of Baauer have reacted to this with irritation, expressing concerns that the internet meme will cause the original track to become hackneyed and ‘lame’.

In an article called ‘Don’t Do The Harlem Shake’, one Baauer fan complains that this new craze will cause Baauer’s ‘stellar banger’ to become ‘so overplayed that your ear will invert, rip out its own cochlea and throw it on the ground if you hear “Con Los Terroristas!” one more goddamn time’.

However, Baauer seems unconcerned at the new craze his song has started, and has even shared some links to Harlem Shake videos on his Facebook page and twitter feed.

The twenty-three year old DJ from New York, whose popularity has risen steadily since last year, may now find himself catapulted to the kind of fame that Psy of Gangnam Style enjoys.

However, with only 2 million views to Psy’s billion, Baauer has a long way to go.

If the success of Gangnam Style is anything to go by, Newcastle’s clubbing scene will soon witness the Harlem Shake dance being executed enthusiastically whenever the song is played.

The random flailing arm movements make it an ideal choice of dance after a few trebles.

For those who wish to experience the real thing, Baauer himself will be performing at Digital on Tuesday 26 February.

SHAKE IT UP

The Norwegian Army put their best foot forward in their version of the video meme sweeping the web

Student Finance: “At no time were the application forms or supporting documentation of the student in question misplaced.” continued from page 1 Year. But every time I call I’m told: ‘Oh it’ll just take another couple of days.’”

She elaborated: “How am I supposed to feed my three year old?

“I’m contacting my local MP because I’ve been looking online and it looks like there have been similar situations of people being ignored by Student Finance.

is currently going through a consultation process that considers lobbying the government for huge changes to student finance.

This would include having a separate ombudsman and a more centralised approach. I fully support this and think it would improve the situation a great deal.”

After being contacted by The Courier

“I feel like I’ve called them about 40 times. In the last week alone I’ve called them 6 times.

“For example, I called just last Friday and the latest advisor told me she would chase it up and email me with an update that night before 8pm. I never heard from her.

“Officially they are ‘reassessing the forms’ but not doing it quickly enough since their mistake.”

The NUSU Welfare and Equality Officer Esta Innes says unfortunately such problems with Student Finance are not uncommon with many students encountering them throughout the year and seeking advice.

She remarked she could empathise with frustrated students, saying: “In my first year I went almost seven months without any of my funding.”

Innes further explained that the “NUS

for comment, Student Finance released a statement saying: “At no time were the application forms or supporting documentation of the student in question misplaced.

“Her file records, which detail of all our correspondence and telephone calls with her, indicate that the Student Loans Company handled her student loan application case appropriately at all stages.

“We are sorry that any student does not feel that they have received a good service from the Student Loans Company.

“We have £1.3 million student customers and customer service is extremely important to us.”

“For example, I called just last Friday and the latest advisor told me she would chase it up and email me with an update that night before 8pm. I never heard from her.”

Want your say on this story?

Visit www.courieronline. co.uk/news to comment

The Courier

news.5

Monday 18 February 2013

Busty babe turned Bible believer warns students over perils of using escort sites to pay tuition MISSION-RY POSITION The talk was given by former porn star Teresa Scott Image: Student Life

By Susie Beever News Editor The Students’ Union was graced with the presence of an unusual visitor last week, as a former porn star came to give a talk to students surrounding the place of Christianity in the lives of young people today.

Teresa Scott, a former X-rated actress who now serves up tea and biscuits in her local evangelical church, spoke to students about current topics surrounding sex in today’s culture.

Scott, 32, gave particular warning to young people using mutually beneficial websites and organisations to help financially support their degrees.

“Free will is for all people. But it’s not always something that’s good or beneficial for us. You’ve got to be careful if you’re going to do something like that.”

The ex-porn star has made her money by writing and giving talks on the place of Christianity in society ever since giving up working in the sex industry.

“I was a model doing page 3 for three years, and porn was just something I found myself in. I got an offer to do something and suddenly found I had my own show on Television X.” “I was in the porn industry for one year when Jesus came to me. I kept working in the porn industry for five

years as a Christian. It was such a relief to give it up.”

Scott, famous in the sex industry for her work, describes growing up from an atheist background in Nottingham. “My parents thought I’d gone crazy. They were happier I was in the porn than I “Free will is for industry was talking about all people. But Jesus.

The star deit’s not always scribed the insomething dustry as “run by that’s good or Satan” telling The beneficial for Sun that upon finding God “I us.” knew there and then that my life had to take a different direction. I never stripped off again.”

The talk was held by Sandyford-based Christian organisation Student Life.

Member Sean Wood, a Geography student, told The Courier: “I’ve really enjoyed listening to Teresa’s story and hearing the really interesting things she’s experienced.”

“A lot of people will look at Christians and the church in a particular stereotype. Teresa certainly doesn’t fit that stereotype, so it’s good to see how the church can still be relevant to students today.”

Poorer students fear being priced out of job market as cost of post grad degrees increase

By Sabine Kucher It has not even been a month since an Oxford applicant made the headlines by deciding to sue St. Hugh’s College over an alleged ‘selection by wealth’ after the college asked potential postgraduates to prove that they have more than £21,000 available upfront to cover fees and living costs.

This put the issue of a lack of postgraduate funding front and centre. Shortly afterwards NUSU Council passed a motion mandating NUS delegates to push this issue at the NUS National Conference next month.

A recent report Oxford appliby the Sutton cant decided to Trust lends creto NUSU’s sue St. Hugh’s dence concern: It states College over that postgraduates are increas‘selection by ingly pushing wealth’ graduates out of the labour market.

This has raised concerns over social mobility as poorer students are being priced out by ever-increasing postgraduate fees. The Sutton Trust’s chairman believes the situation will be further exacerbated by the recent rise in undergraduate fees to £9,000 a year.

Therefore the report calls for a targeted loan scheme to support applicants from poor and middle-class families, similar to the student finance system available to undergraduates. It advocates the introduction of recruitment targets ensuring variety in the postgraduates’ backgrounds.

The Sutton Trust claims that many

students will face debts of more than £40,000 when living costs are factored in and thus might be put off pursuing postgraduate study where there is no state-backed loan system.

However, increasing numbers of students staying on at university for a postgraduate degree puts rising pressure on others to do the same.

The number of postgraduates has almost trebled compared to the mid1990s and is expected to keep surging due to the fact that a postgraduate qualification can greatly increase students’ potential earnings. Research led by academics at the London School of Economics and the University of Surrey found that the increase could be as much as £5,500 a year. Over a 40-year working life, an investment in postgraduate education might yield a return of £200,000.

The internationalisation of the labour market puts yet more strain on students as their counterparts from the continent are a lot more likely to have a postgraduate degree, 15-24% of them do. Meanwhile the UK is one of only three European countries in which less than 10% of students go on to postgraduate study.

The Sutton Trust states that postgraduate degrees are increasingly expected by employers and an undergraduate degree alone might not be enough to land a top job. Indeed, more and more applicants boast postgraduate degrees to gain an advantage on competitors.

That is why the Sutton Trust, which aims to improve social mobility in the UK through widening access to education, and others are calling on the government to finally look into postgraduate funding.

NOT SO CHARITABLE St Hugh’s College, Oxford was at the centre of a media storm last week after student Daniel Shannon took them to court for “selecting by wealth” Image: Michael Coleman (Flickr)

6.news

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Council backtrack with £600k pledge to arts

By Anna Templeton News Editor Newcastle City Council has changed their previous commitment to 100% cuts in the arts budget.

The original draft budget proposed full cuts to Newcastle’s cultural venues including Live Theatre, Northern Stage and the Theatre Royal, as well as cuts to libraries and leisure facilities.

However, the shadow culture secretary and deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman stated that: “The reality is there is not going to be a 100% cut to the arts in Newcastle. Across the board, whether it comes to capital funding or revenue funding they City council will be supportwill provide ing the arts... they a minimum will not be cutting 100%.” of £600,000 The announceannually to the ment from the fund, run by an council with their new proposed independent budget followed panel this statement from Harriet Harman.

She added: “I can’t give you the nittygritty: it’s a bleaker picture than it has been, that’s inevitable because of what the Government’s doing, but they will not be cutting 100%.”

The city council will provide a minimum of £600,000 annually to the new fund, which will be run by an independent panel.

The scheme will launch in 2016 and

organisations will be invited to bid for three-year funding programmes.

Businesses and high-profile personalities will also be asked to contribute to the £600,000.

Loans for capital projects drawn from

encouraging their audiences to write to the council and protest against the cuts.

The council’s commitment to the sector previously stood at around £1.15m per year.

But council leader Nick Forbes said

a separate £9m pot will be available to arts organisations that demonstrate they can raise income from commercial streams.

Council leader Nick Forbes said: “This frees arts up from the boom and bust of uncertain council funding and allows others to also back the arts.”

The city council has changed their approach to the cuts after originally proposing a 100% reduction to their arts budget, prompting protests from local figures.

Significant numbers of prominent actors, writers, artists and musicians including Sting, Bryan Ferry and Pat Barker, led by Lee Hall, the author of Billy Elliot, have publicly challenged the original plans.

They said “totally unnecessary” cuts to the arts would destroy the city’s cultural life and called the council’s decision “baffling”.

Arts organisations in the city ran a campaign with the motto “Not 100%”,

the value of the arts had “never been in question”.

“What’s been in question is the money to fund them,” he said.

The council is inviting other interested parties to contribute to the £600,000 fund which will welcome bids for threeyear grants.

Mr Forbes said it was “not a u-turn” but a “completely new way” of funding the arts.

It is hoped that the “groundbreaking” fund will be kept going by contributions from residents and businesses.

The debate over Newcastle arts cuts also became heated recently when the deputy prime minister Nick Clegg claimed in the House of Commons that “the Labour party in Newcastle is closing every single arts and cultural institution” in the city.

Clegg also accused the city council of “shameless political opportunism and cynicism.”

Council leader Nick Forbes said: “This frees arts up from the boom and bust of uncertain council funding and allows others to also back the arts.”

SAFE FOR NOW The City Council will now commit £600,000 annually to the arts in a fund managed by an independent body Image: Mich_Gallagher_1959 (Flickr)

The Courier

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Monday 18 February 2013

Northern Irish students claim victory over unfair landlords with new deposit scheme

By Emily Armstrong

CLASS OUTSIDE

The protection provided by an independent third party is intended to act as a safety net for students from unscrupulous landlords Image: Tulane Public Relations (Flickr)

Unscrupulous student landlords have been known to withhold deposits at the end of tenancy, despite students leaving their properties in excellent condition.

However, from 1 April this year, students and other tenants in Northern Ireland will be protected from such unsavoury dealings by a compulsory Tenancy Deposit Scheme, meaning all landlords will be required by law to use one of the available schemes to protect all deposits they receive for private tenancies.

Landlords must register deposits with an independent organisation apStudents are pointed by the government, and therefore the event of unlikely to find in a dispute over their deposits tenancy deposwithheld over its must send the amount trivial matters disputed to the independsuch as scuffed ent organisation. skirting boards At the end of the tenancy, landlords will now have to submit a strong case as to why their tenants should not have their deposits returned, making it more difficult for landlords to withhold money unfairly.

Students are therefore unlikely to find their £200 deposits withheld over trivial matters such as scuffed skirting boards and dusty corners.

The scheme, announced by the De-

partment of Social Development, is hoped to “encourage a more professional approach to tenancy deposit practice, and minimise disputes.”

Disputes between landlord and tenant will hopefully be resolved more easily without court proceedings.

The scheme has been criticised by the Landlords Association as being an unnecessary extra layer of red tape, but welcomed by student leaders as “a victory for students and other tenants.”

Northern Ireland’s Social Development Minister George McCausland has said schemes such as this had been very successful in the rest of the UK. Similar schemes have existed in England and Wales since 2007 and in Scotland since 2012.

Adrianne Peltz, president of the National Union of Students (NUS) and Union of Students in Ireland (USI) said her organisation had campaigned for the introduction of the scheme.

While explaining her reasons for supporting the scheme, she said: “We hear horror stories of students and other people who have rented a house and at the end of the contract have left it in excellent condition but have had their deposit withheld by an unscrupulous landlord.

“The vast majority of landlords behave in an impeccable manner and care about the welfare of their tenants, so I am sure that they will welcome these developments. This scheme will safeguard their good reputations and help prevent bad landlords from tarnishing the image of their industry,” Ms Peltz added.

Sussex sit-in draws wide celebrity support

By Kathryn Riddell A group of students from the University of Sussex are protesting against plans to privatise their support services through a sit-in at their conference centre.

Originally 300 students and staff opposed the proposal to outsource 235 jobs that are currently based on the campus.

The sit-in then began on the 7th February, when 30 students entered the third floor of Bramber House.

One student has claimed that more students have joined them since then and that their action would continue for the foreseeable future.

A spokesman for the University said the students have been given access to food, water and toilets, and they are free to leave whenever they wish.

He also said: “We’re keeping the situation under review. The university campus continues to run as normal.”

The university has also stated that the outsourcing decision was made in order to improve its campus services as it expands and stressed that there would be no redundancies.

The services which include campus estates and catering, are planned to be transferred in August 2013 to the selected private contractors.

The demonstrators said that their views on the subject have been ignored which has led them to resorting to the sit-in protest.

“The management at Sussex have

shown a blatant disregard for the views and wishes of the campus community in the way that they have instigated these proposals,” they said.

“The lack of transparency, and openness from a university that has a reputation as a “radical” institution, is tantamount to a management position which is eroding the spirit of Sussex.

“As well as a colossal transfer of wealth from the public to the private sector, privatisation has time and time again been shown to negatively impact on employees and service users.”

One second year law and international relations student said it was deplorable that private firms could profit from student tuition fees.

More than 100 people have signed the group’s “solidarity statement” supporting the protestors.

According to the group, significant signatories include the columnist and campaigner Owen Jones, former Labour Cabinet minister, and Sussex graduate, Peter Hain, and The Thick of It actor Peter Capaldi.

The protestors are asking the university to halt its plans immediately and to undertake “a full and proper democratic negotiation” with its staff and students over the decisions regarding the campus services.

They are also asking for student and trade union representatives to be fully represented and that they continue to be informed about future processes and further decisions.

PUT YOUR HANDS UP

The sit-in orchestrated by a number of Sussex students has received the support of the likes of academic Noam Chomsky and Peter Capaldi of The Thick of It Image: Occupy Sussex

8.news

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Edinburgh students gagged by own Union in legal row The Students’ Union at Edinburgh University has taken out a temporary injunction against its own student paper to stifle criticism over a legal row involving one of its student officers.

Edinburgh University’s Student Association (EUSA) was granted an interim interdict by a Scottish court banning the publication of an article which was scheduled to appear in the University’s student paper. The paper has also been

ion.

According to The Journal, the interdict, handed down by Lord Jones on 21 January, forbids The Student from publishing “any material purporting to suggest that the pursuer is an organisation which is poorly governed and whose management are inexperienced and unaccountable”.

The efforts of the EUSA to stifle the student voice meant that the paper could not comment on the internal workings of the Students’ Union, but the paper was not expressly forbidden from

ordered to pay EUSA’s legal costs.

As a result of the interdict, The Student was forced to withhold thousands of copies of its 22 January edition.

The Student, Edinburgh University’s student paper, was due to publish details of the suspension of Max Crema, vice-president of services at the Students’ Union. Crema, who was suspended in July, is officially out of office for what EUSA officials evasively describe as ‘personal reasons’.

But speculation has now arisen concerning what the forbidden article may have revealed. While The Student is unable to comment on the matter as a result of the injunction, The Journal, the rival newspaper of The Student, has recently suggested that Crema was formally suspended as a result of soured internal relations in the Students’ Un-

mentioning the injunction – meaning The Student ran a bold front page article on the interdict in its latest edition.

Daniel Scott Lintott, film editor at The Student, commented: “The action of some of EUSA’s sabbaticals is clearly contradictory to the organisation’s ideals of democracy, free speech and open debate. They have stifled the voices and flouted the interests of the students of the university that elected them.”

“I believe that we had a duty to publish the information as it is in the public interest. Part of the process by which EUSA is held accountable is through student media, which is one of the few checks on the power of elected officials.”

“Unfortunately, due to the interim interdict, I am unable to disclose the nature of the article that was not distributed.”

By Emily Armstrong

FORBIDDEN ARTICLE The temporary injunction against The Student has, for some, stifled their freedom of expression Image: Extra Medium

As a result of the interdict, The Student was forced to withhold thousands of copies

Complaints after Uni Challenge Scandal

By Susie Beever News Editor

Controversial media personality Jeremy Paxman has caused furor amongst the student population this week.

The University Challenge presenter was accused of ‘bullying’ student contestant Tom Tsyzczuk Smith after he failed to answer one history question correctly.

The 20 year old medic from University College London was unable to answer a question on 17th century British royal history.

Paxman, who is no stranger to public viewing complaints, asked the question, ‘The liberties of England and the Protestant religion I will maintain.’ Which royal figure made that claim when he landed at Brixham, in Devon, in 1688?”

To which Tsyzczuk Smith answered,

“William I”.

The answer provoked the presenter to retaliate. Paxman, 62, told the contestant, “No! William I? No, I’m sorry, that’s the wrong answer and you know it’s very wrong. It’s only out by about 600 years or so. Anyway no, it’s William of Orange of course, William III.” Several complaints were received by viewers following the show, reportedly due to the fact that said contestant remained quiet for the rest of the general knowledge contest.

The story is only one in a series of criticism against Paxman, who also hosts BBC Newsnight. Back in October, the broadcaster was heavily criticised for his on-air comments to secretary of the exchequer Chloe Smith. The MP was humiliated live on Newsnight over her inability to answer basic questions on fuel duties.

The Courier

nationalstudentnews.9

Monday 18 February 2013

Teaching Excellence Awards seek to recognise Uni’s outstanding lecturers

By Faye Chivers Soon, students from across all University disciplines will be able to nominate and vote in the Learning and Teaching Excellence Awards.

This event, celebrating excellent teaching at Newcastle University, is run entirely by the Student Union and offers the chance for students to recognise the excellent work done by staff who go the extra mile for their students.

Categories in this black tie event vary from ‘Innovative Teaching Methods of the Year’ to ‘Research Supervisor of the Year’, and the variety of categories allows for brilliant teachers to be recog-

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Systems Engineer Employer: SR Technology Innovations Ltd Closing date: 24.02.2013 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: SR Technology Innovations is the technology development and exploitation arm of Scott Racing Ltd. The placement is to assist the company in delivering its current projects by providing additional technical capacity and creativity.

Placement duties to include: Desk research into the characterisation and performance of hybrid electric vehicle power train subsystems; Simulation of hybrid electric systems for both vehicle and static applications; Development of hybrid electric systems; Preparation of technical reports, documentation and results of project work; Participation in project team meeting.

Person requirements: It is necessary that candidates have at least some of the following skills: Ability to model and simulate electro-mechanical control systems using Scicos, SciLab, Matlab/Simulink or similar software package; Power electronics design experience; Electrical engineering expertise; Real-time control system engineering knowledge and expertise; Embedded software engineering experience; Experience of developing control and monitoring solutions in LabView; Experience of design using 3D CAD software.

Location: Durham.

Job Title: Service Assistant Employer: NHS Closing date: 19.02.2013 Salary: £14,153 to £17,253 pro rata, per annum Basic job description: 40 Service Assistants are required to work part-time hours at St Nicholas Hospital & Centre for Age & Vitality (Formerly Newcastle General Hospital) and Walkergate Park. Duties to include clinical cleaning on ward areas, offices and departments performing domestic duties using a variety of cleaning equipment such as rotary machines and vacuums, you will also be required to use cleaning products under the guidance of COSHH. Person requirements: Good communication skills are essential to the successful candidate to be able to liaise with a multi-disciplinary team and ensure excellent standards are achieved. Previous experience desirable but not essential as training will be given.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Administration Assistant Employer: Kurt Geiger Closing date: 22.02.2013 Salary: To be confirmed.

Basic job description: An Administration As-

nised from across campus.

With the ever-present cloud of high fees and budget cuts looming over high-

sented with a TEA mug and voting is open from 18 February until 15 March.

This is the chance for students to show

TEAs offers students the chance to recognise the excellent work done by lecturers

er education, the Learning and Teaching Excellence Awards is a reminder to both students and staff that the quality of education at Newcastle, and the experience of students while they are here, is always the highest priority.

School reps of both undergraduate and postgraduate representation will form the judging panel.

Each nominated lecturer will be pre-

their appreciation for the staff who make the learning experience at Newcastle what it is.

sistant is required to work 16 hours per week at the Kurt Geiger store in the Metrocentre, Gateshead. Main duties may consist of: Processing all incoming and outgoing stock on the internal stock management system, unpacking deliveries and packing transfers, responsible for the admin process and timely management of all Customer Orders and Click & Collect, reconciliation of daily till reads, reporting any issues to Store Management and processing staff discounts, accurately complete and return attendance sheets ensuring all staff are paid correctly and on time.

Person requirements: The successful candidate will have previous admin experience within a retail environment, attention to detail, proficient in MS Office, be highly organised with excellent communication skills.

Location: Gateshead.

the Accessorize store in the Metrocentre, Gateshead. Duties will include: Key-holder responsibilities, stock replenishment, liaising with customers, cash handling, merchandising, warehousing, meeting targets and other general store duties.

Person requirements: We are on the look out for a successful team player to represent our brand. We love working with people who share our passion for fashion and customer service. Essential skills include: Previous retail experience, excellent customer service and communication skills and the ability to work within a team.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Active Kidz Summer Play Worker Employer: Gateshead Council Closing date: 22.02.2013 Salary: £16,054 - £16,830 pro rata Basic job description: Gateshead Councils Play Development Service is responsible for the delivery of inclusive play opportunities to children and young people across Gateshead. We are currently recruiting for Casual Play Development Workers to join our excellent team. We are looking for highly motivated individuals to fill a variety of roles during term time and holiday periods.

Person requirements: You must have knowledge of activities relating to children and young people and inclusion. You will have experience of working with children and young people, planning and evaluating children and young people’ s activities, working individually and as part of a team.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Casual Exam Invigilators Employer: Kenton School Closing date: 22.02.2013 Salary: £8.54 per hour Basic job description: Casual Invigilators are required to work on an ‘as and when required basis’ at Kenton School in Newcastle. You will assist in the preparation of the examination venue, supervise the conduct of pupils throughout the examination and ensure all scripts are collected and checked off at the end of the examination.

Person requirements: None given.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Sales Assistant Employer: Accessorize Closing date: 22.02.12 Salary: Exceeds National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A Sales Assistant is required to work 16 hours per week at

Want to nominate one of your lecturers?

Then visit nusu.co.uk/tea

Job Title: Page Turner Employer: Martin Randall Travel Closing date: 15.03.2013 Salary: £25 per concert Basic job description: Martin Randall Travel are a leading operator for small group cultural tours and music festivals. We are holding a chamber music weekend in Newcastle in early March and require a page turner. The dates and times we would require you are: Friday 15th March, 17.45–20.00, Saturday 16th March, 10.30–c.12.30, Saturday 16th March, 17.45–20.00, Sunday 17th March, 10.30–c.12.30.

Person requirements: You should be able to read and follow music, working closely with our pianist.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Exam Facilitator Employer: Clear Links Support Closing date: 01.03.2013 Salary: £14.17 per hour + £1.71 holiday pay per hour Basic job description: Clear Links Support is a specialist provider of academic support to students in higher education. Reliable Exam Facilitators are required to read aloud exam materials, including written work produced by the Client in the exam and/or record accurately, in an agreed written format, the exam answers as communicated by the Client. The work is during term-time only, temporary and casual in nature. A range of hours may be available. Working in this role will require an enhanced CRB disclosure, the cost of which will be met by Clear Links Support.

Person requirements: Applicants must have completed at least 1 year of higher education study, or be able to demonstrate an equivalent level of experience. They must have clear, legible handwriting, accurate spelling and grammar skills and a clear reading voice.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Dispute over First ever speaker at university to Cambridge offer loans University of Cambridge

University of Huddersfield

Marine Le Pen, the leader of the farright French Front National, is due to address the Cambridge Union Society later this month.

Le Pen, who won 6 million (18%) votes in the last presidential election, will discuss numerous topics including the future of the European Union and French politics.

The announcement of her appearance has caused outrage among some students who believe her views to be xenophobic, misogynist and homophobic due to her extremely conservative stances on women’s role in society, immigration and LGBT rights.

The Cambridge Union Society defends its decision to invite Mme Le Pen, who currently sits in the European Parliament.

A spokesperson characterised the visit as an opportunity to engage with Mme Le Pen, who has had a measurable impact on French politics. According to the Union, her address is in line with Cambridge’s long tradition of promoting free speech.

Huddersfield University is to become the first HE institution to offer business funding to students.

Through a new cooperation with peer-topeer lender Funding Circle, businesses across the UK can borrow up to £100,000.

The arrangement’s creator, Professor Bob Cryan, ensured that it benefits students too.

Any interest earned will be used to fund scholarships for talented individuals.

The University hopes that the arrangement could benefit more than 200 disadvantaged students over the next five years.

Further benefits to students include a tailored programme of seminars and internship opportunities with the University’s debtors.

The scheme has already received the backing of well-known entrepreneurs who praise the University’s commitment to support businesses while giving its students the opportunity to gain hands-on experience.

Student killed whilst hiking in Scotland

Union blamed for insensitive debate topic

University of Leeds 35 members of a Leeds hiking club were stranded after a blizzard in the Cairngorm Mountains. The alarm was raised around 3pm when part of the group failed to return on Sunday afternoon.

Despite the immediate dispatch of a 100-strong team, including dogs and an RAF helicopter, the group was only rescued on Monday after one member managed to phone the police and relayed the group’s position.

Five members of the group were airlifted to safety, but help came too late for one student, whose body was recovered more than 6 miles away.

He is believed to have fallen during the blizzard. It remains unclear when or why he was separated from the group.

The tragic news has shocked Leeds students who offered their condolences on the club’s Facebook page.

Images: Guillame Paumier/ Flickr

University of Nottingham The Nottingham University Conservative Association (NUCA) is at the centre of a row after being accused of blaming sexual assault victims for dressing provocatively.

NUCA had hosted a debate asking whether women who dress provocatively are more likely to be victims of sexual assault.

The proposed motion and suggestive posters promoting the debate outraged many students as well as the Women’s Network who expressed revulsion and disgust at the fact that the topic was even discussed.

NUCA defends its choice of motion saying that it is important to discuss controversial topics and stating that the motion was defeated by an overwhelming majority.

Sabine Kucher

10.comment 3 reasons why... ...We shouldn’t worry that photos of pregnant Kate in a bikini were published...

1) The British are far too sensitive Fair, she’s not just another celeb and thus the topless pictures published last year were undoubtably inappropriate. However Kate here is covered, admittedly not with much, but covered all the same.

We’ve all seen a pregnant woman before; the inevitable birthing scene included in most rom-coms makes Kate’s small, blurred exposure look somewhat tame. Also worth noting is that Kate is naturally an exhibitionist; William first clapped eyes on her whilst she was innocently modelling lingerie at her Uni fashion show.

2) We’re all under constant surveillance anyway

In keeping with the times, I think its worth pointing out that the complete privacy is a heavily outdated ideal. CCTV, drones, GCHQ and satellites make full sure of that. Those with especially high status are going to have to accept that they can no longer be invisible, especially when flaunting a ‘must see’ baby-bump on a public beach. Not to mention the fact that the public will do what the public do best - spy - and thus Kate must accept the scrutiny.

3) She’s in the Caribbean for Christ’s sake Forget the baby-bump and bikini, the question we should really be asking is why the Royal pair are on another holiday. A few bikini photos are surely retribution for basking on a Carribean beach in Feburary.

Furthermore the pictures are, if anything, complimentary to the expectant mother; ‘Kate looks fantastic’ says Sido Kitchin, editor of Woman’s Day.

Image: russavia (WIkimedia Commons Laura Wotton

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

A soft approach to hard drugs In regards to the anti-drug campaign ‘Talk to Frank’, Alexandra Rogers discusses the effectiveness of different approaches to preventing drug use ALEXANDRA ROGERS

I

t’s been ten years since a police squad burst on to our screens at the beckoning of a teenager who was under the assumption that because drugs were illegal, they were too taboo to talk about.

But along came Frank, not a parent or a teacher, but a ‘mate’ who reassured you that where taking drugs may be illegal, talking about them wasn’t. Gone were the judgmental, extreme adverts of the twentieth century that created a rift between the paternal and benevolent ‘state’ and their irresponsible, hedonistic teens.

It was now the time to address Britain’s complex drug culture with an open mind – and a willingness to talk frankly about them- which is what was needed to get the same message across –Just Say No- but in such a way that the teens would feel they had come to this decision themselves.

What made Talk to Frank so different? In the 80’s, Britain’s anti-drug campaigns were just one of many worldwide that relied on scare tactics and the ‘descent-into-hell’ image which showed typical teens like ‘Zammo’ plagued with bad spots, hollow eyes and prominent cheek bones. The intention was to show that whoever you were, heroin screwed you up, and here was Zammo’s ugly face to prove it. Apart from, the ad showed the opposite.

“By removing the stigma attached to trying drugs, teens could learn to think for themselves” What emerged from the ‘Heroin Screws You Up’ campaign was not a widespread revulsion at the physical side effects of heroin, but another stere-

otype for teens to channel: ‘heroin chic.’

Not quite what the government had in mind.

Frank, however, didn’t do any of this.

Their objective was to provide impartial advice to teens who were curious and unsure about drugs, just like Pablo, the ‘canine drugs mule’. There was no denouncing of reckless behaviour, just an open mind to explore what the drugs were and what they did. There was less of a sense that Frank was an agent of the government.

This, according to some critics of anti-drug advertising, is where the other adverts fail. For there is nothing quite like the Establishment telling you ‘No’ that makes experimenting with drugs so alluring. By somewhat removing the stigma attached to trying drugs by not relying on shock tactics, teens could learn to think for themselves.

However, it is precisely for this reason that Frank, in the eyes of some critics, has failed. Because it doesn’t strictly tell teens ‘No’, its message about drugs emerges as somewhat ambiguous. One advert informed viewers that ‘Cocaine makes you feel on top of the world.’

Some say that anti-drug adverts altogether don’t work, because it is the nature of some young people to rebel

against authority and satisfy their curiosity. In short, some will do it and some won’t. But the government can hardly send out this message and need to be seen to be doing something.

Perhaps Britain should look to the rest of the world for inspiration – in particular, the Montana Meth project in the United States which relies on the shock tactics of the twentieth century.

Its disturbing and unsightly images offer a sensationalist approach which invariably triggers an emotional response, which media researchers have argued is the only effective way in appealing to the viewer on a very basic level.

Talk to Frank can by no means be denounced as an outright failure, since there is no obvious way to address such a difficult problem.

But with an issue as precarious as drug taking, to be effective, adverts need to appeal to something stronger than logic, that of emotion and instinct.

Want to write for Comment? Meetings are on Mondays at 3pm on Level 1 of the SU

UniLad: light-hearted banter?

As UniLad launches an online TV channel and student dating site, Alex Hanson debates the sexist implications of this rapidly growing website ALEX HANSON

S

ifting through the Uni Lad site and Facebook page last night I was sadly disappointed by the tameness of the content I found.

I was expecting to be shocked and embarrassed by the vulgar nature of the articles and posts, written by my supposed peers. I was looking forward to writing a scathing article along the lines of one featured in The Guardian just a few days ago.

However, to my dismay, Uni Lad appears to have, on the whole, cleaned up its act. There are of course still offensive posts to be found, including, at the present time, ‘A Medley of Minge’. ‘A Medley of Minge’ discusses the ‘types’ of girl a ‘lad’ is likely to come across at a ‘standard’ student house party. It gives pros and cons of each ‘type’ of girl, including how her insecurities may make her more likely to sleep with you or how you may have to ‘paper-bag’ it. Articles such as these are clearly demeaning, derogatory and generally pathetic, as much for stereotyping women as for the crass terminology used.

Uni Lad has origins in offensive ‘banter’, last year being taken offline for a number of days after an article it published describing rape as ‘surprise sex’ caused a whirlwind of criticism. Sexist, or even offensive, material does now seem to be the rarity though.

The majority of posts are inoffensive jokes, puns or pictures relating to cur-

rent affairs. Much of the recent content centres around the Tesco horsemeat scandal and Eden Hazard and the ballboy.

“The majority of posts are inoffensive jokes, puns or pictures relating to current affairs” I therefore struggle to see why The Guardian felt the need to run a new article condemning Uni Lad at the present time. The author, Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett, is clearly of much higher esteem than myself, having previously won the 2011 Guardian Student Media award for columnist of the year. She also co-founded and edits the ‘The Vagenda’, a sharp and relevant feminist blog.

Yet her comment ‘Those little feminist-baiting scamps are well-known for their lax grasp of the term sexual consent, not to mention their constant assertions that all women are ‘wenches’ and ‘slags’…’ seems to bear little resemblance to the Uni Lad I have just viewed.

Few articles I found related to women, and after a couple of hours viewing I managed to find no use of wench and very little use of the term slag. I am not condoning the usage of either term in any circumstance but perhaps find her article slightly sensationalist.

I would also draw issue with her making links between the site and Etonian or Harrovian type men. She appears to have very little substance on which

MONKEY BUSINESS

Is UniLad shockingly sexist or simply light hearted banter?

Image: New York Zoological Society (Wikimedia)

to base this. I agree with her that ‘lad’ has strong links to university culture, and thus mostly middle and upper class men, but feel linking one specific group to this ‘lad’ sexism is unfair.

“UniLad should set about imposing a blanket ban on sexist posts”

A greater issue I would raise with middle/upper class ‘banter’ is the constant poly/posh jokes. The sort of elitist jokes that encourage inequality, mock social mobility and generally create hatred between groups in society.

I would agree wholeheartedly that any article involving sexism is pathetic, offensive and small-minded, but found the vast majority of Uni Lad’s current content inoffensive.

To avoid further criticism and generally to present itself as a decent site Uni Lad should set about imposing a blanket ban on sexist posts. After all, anyone creating, owning and running a website must then take responsibility for any content posted on it by users.

The Courier

.11

Monday 18 February 2013

Comment

Comment Editors: Georgina Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor: Jennifer Evans thecourieronline.co.uk/comment courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

DOOMED?

Young people face expensive education, unemployment, and housing dilemmas.

Image: StFX (Wikimedia)

Have young people ever had it this bad?

JOHNNY FARRARBELL

YES W

e students love to complain.

Dodgy estate agents, huge reading lists, tuition fees and – more close to home for 3rd years – the job hunt. ‘It’s just so competitive’ we hear ourselves say.

The worst time to be leaving university, we’ll never find a job. Indeed, times are hard. Jobs are competitive and one often needs post-grad qualifications to stand a chance of even being considered.

The cost of living, especially in London, is high and buying a house can seem like a pipe dream for most. But let’s not wallow in self-pity. What an Eeyore generation we could become! A little bit of hindsight will be the Prozac we need. Have we ever had it this bad?

Of course we have.

Just think of those graduating from the then Armstrong College of Durham University in the summer of 1914, with no knowledge that they would shortly be joining the army in France. Almost 900,000 wouldn’t return. Or those in the 1930s when unemployment hit as high as 70% in some areas – the recession was so bad that a government report stated that around 25% of the UK population were surviving on a subsistence diet.

Many children displayed signs of malnutrition such as scurvy, rickets or tuberculosis. Or even the Second World War when if you were lucky enough not to be called up to fight there was still for many the daily worry of the blitz, in which 40,000 died.

So life for those leaving university in at least our grand-parents generations was a lot more insecure and unpredictable than we know it today. Perhaps our parents had it easy, one could argue.

“There are many things that we take for granted that were never possible for our parents”

They were free from the horror of war and major economic downturns.

But even for them the chances of actually going to university – albeit free of tuition fees when they got there – was a great deal slimmer.

Furthermore, there are many things that we take for granted that were never possible for our parents or grandparents at a similar age. Take air travel. It was almost unaffordable for most, with a return flight from Johannesburg, for example, costing £500 in 1980. Now it is roughly the same, despite huge inflation. Or Food: Even fancy foreign delicacies such as spaghetti and brie were considered a luxury, sun-dried tomatoes or sushi unheard of.

Technology has also advanced at an alarming rate. Cassette players cost the earth in the early 1980s, but now we upgrade our phones every year because we ‘need’ 4G or a 15 megapixel camera.

But the advances in and the greater availability, of technology, food and travel cannot replace the stable job and cheap mortgage our parents enjoyed I hear you say? Yes, correct.

But let’s not take these things for granted and forget how in many ways we are very fortunate. Life may be no bed of roses but we have certainly had it much worse in previous generations.

So before we start to complain about how ‘this is the worst time to be graduating’ let’s draw a deep breath, take stock and be thankful for all that we have.

VICTORIA ARMSTRONG

NO W

e live in an age in which we all benefit from constantly improving technology, strong human rights, greater travel opportunities and so on and so forth.

It is thus ironic that this is, in fact, the bleakest time ever to be young.

First let us begin by considering the obvious burden, particularly pertinent

to us as university students- tuition fees.

The average student stands to graduate with in excess of £30,000 debt and that estimate is on the lower side.

Now it is perfectly common to allow the young to accept this massive debt, forcing an entire generation into the quagmire of financial debt that is likely to plague us throughout our lives.

The blatant argument here is that our degrees will allow us to command higher salaries, thus offsetting, in the long term, the debt. However, this assertion fails when we observe that 18.5% of those aged 18-24 are unable to find employment. Investing in higher education is no guarantee of a better salary in modern times; it only increases the odds.

“The old, at the expense of the young, dominate the jobs market” Yet if investing three years or more of our lives and tens of thousands of pounds into increasing our employability is not even a certain measure, what is? Has there been any other period in history in which such time and money could be utilized for such an unsure result?

Furthermore, the old, at the expense of the young, dominate the jobs market.

The creation of new jobs does not sug-

gest this, but often it is the 50+ crowd achieving employment and with the retirement age increasing all the time, there are simply too few jobs to meet demand. We are heavily dependent on chance.

A common misconception of the unemployed young is that they are lazy, unwilling and undeserving. This is untrue. Many seek fruitlessly for a chance to work hard and earn enough to live on. Indeed it is worryingly common to see desperate graduates accept entrylevel employment in the search of any job whatsoever.

Another issue perhaps less important to us currently, but which will only become more significant as we grow older, is housing. The post-war Baby Boomer generation benefited from low-cost housing and the value of said property was constantly on the rise.

Today, the likelihood is the vast majority of us will never own property but spend a life time renting, still trying to keep afloat with the demons of debt and poor employment opportunities on our backs.

The elderly refer to ‘the good old days’ and what an appropriate description that is. Back when a lifelong job and an education that would not cost a small fortune were practically guaranteed. It is hard to see how life was bleaker for the young back then.

This argument may be seen as typifying generations: ours as deserving yet disadvantaged and those of the past as almost self-indulgent in their good fortune.

Yet the fact remains, living standards for the youth are dropping and, as we face an unappealing future, it seems hard to deny that we have more to fear than any of our ancestors ever did.

12.comment

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Should you accept your accent? ACCENTS JOHNNY FARRARBELL

W

hat a boring country we live in, I sometimes think.

Many of our towns and cities are now bland and grey, whilst local shops, department stores, cafes and pubs have all but given way to the ubiquitous sight of a Tesco, Primark or JD Wetherspoon outlet.

Local culture seems to have been usurped by a uniform ‘clubbing scene’.

In fact it is hard to tell apart Sunderland from Southampton, Leicester from Leighton Buzzard or Nottingham from Newcastle-under-Lyme.

But if one opens ones ears, immediately the reality is very different. Arriving into Newcastle Central Station the chirpy Geordie tones on the PA system can seem a million miles from the gruff cockney voice announcing delays on the Jubilee line, only 3 hours earlier. Even when walking around

campus a veritable Pandora’s Box of accents is there for all to hear.

Indeed, for such a small island Britain is rich in its diversity of accents and dialects and this is something that should be championed.

The news, therefore, that teachers in Teesside have been correcting schoolchildren’s local dialect should come as a disappointment. The word particularly in question is ‘gizzit’ – a shortened version of ‘give us it’. Teachers have been attempting to replace it with the more genteel ‘please may I have’.

Also under attack is the use of ‘yous’, with authorities claiming that “you can never be plural”. Although to a middle-class southerner, ‘gizzit’ may seem impertinent - if not a little rude - it does not mean it is the ‘incorrect’ way to speak.

Moreover, those who claim that ‘you’ is never plural are simply misinformed. I must confess to never feeling the need to add an ‘s’ but it is by no means wrong. In fact it probably makes a lot of sense, avoiding unnecessary confusion.

Whilst these teachers may have had noble motives in correcting children’s speech – some stated the better job op-

portunities that are available to those who speak Standard English – the consequences of ironing out regional differences are acute. Indeed, speech and dialect are vital to promoting regional identity.

Think of how proud Geordies are to be from ‘the Toon’ and the fact that Sunderland AFC has ‘Ahoy the Lads’ emblazoned on the Stadium of Light.

Both are cities with solid regional identities and, moreover, strong and flourishing dialects which are distinct from one another.

Conversely when cities or counties see their accent or dialect diluted, the local pride that goes with it can soon diminish. Think of the stigma that is attached to a broad West Country or rural English accent. Speakers are labelled ‘farmer Giles’ and schools, like those in Teesside, have sometimes tried to squeeze the life out of it.

But what a shame that is, and how short-sighted. In an era of growing uniformity let’s make sure that we do our best to uphold our varied dialects and accents as well as promoting our distinct and colourful regional identities.

Image: John Hanes (Wikimedia)

Maid in Jesmond After the launch of a new cleaning service for students, Sarah Pratley discusses whether it is really necessary SARAH PRATLEY

M

aid in Jesmond are a “cleaning service for students by students at student prices” - a local business based, somewhat predictably, in Jesmond.

They only clean communal areas and their services can cost between £20 and £40 per clean. An extra £5 means they’ll do your washing up for you, and you can even have a clean discounted to £15 if you recommend them to a friend.

We are all aware, and have probably experienced, the horror that a student house can descend into. Empty bottles strewn across the living room, small mountains of washing up and a bathroom that is best avoided – but is a maid really necessary?

Of course, this business may be successful if it continues to keep its prices low and amount of offers high. Nobody enjoys cleaning, and it is unfair for the one, tidy housemate to be left with all the mess week after week. If everyone is in mutual agreement to contribute a little bit to having a tidy house, then it may be a worthwhile investment.

Essentially, these maids are no different to the cleaners many of us had in our first year whilst living in university accommodation. Nobody can really complain about having to do their own washing up when the kitchen surfaces are being wiped down and the bathrooms cleaned by someone else.

However, even at ‘student prices’ and split between housemates, the cost of a weekly clean will soon build up. With student loans, part time work and our parents funding our university years, for most of us money isn’t plentiful.

Surely paying for someone else to clean

your house is a waste, when just taking some extra care to maintain tidiness could save precious pennies.

In addition to this, it seems irresponsible that we are incapable of tidying up after ourselves. We’ve only just flown the nest and left Mum’s constant tidying behind us, yet we’re now at a loss without her. A big part of ‘growing up’ is moving into your own house and maintaining it as a nice environment to live in. By needing a student maid service, it appears that we are incapable of this.

“Essentially, these maids are no different to the cleaners many of us had in first year” What do we expect once we’ve left university? Maid in Jesmond, or a similar student cleaning service, won’t be available in every place we reside throughout our lives. We might as well develop good habits now and learn how to keep our houses clean whilst we’re sharing with more people with whom to divide the labour. If you really hate cleaning that much, get a ‘one-pot dishes’ cookbook, not a maid.

However, the key to this business’ success may be its target market: us. I’m much more willing to consider a maid service now, rather than in a few years time when I’m a graduate (and therefore jobless and penniless). We have essays to be writing and exams to be revising for, who wants to waste time with cleaning? Yes, I would downgrade to beans on toast and pasta for eternity if someone else was doing the dishes.

The Courier

comment.13

Monday 18 February 2013

Is continuous assessment the way forward?

As students around campus receive their results from January exams, Sabine Kucher argues for a change in the way we are assessed at University SABINE KUCHER

L

ast week, a short piece about students from Strathclyde University caught my eye. Apparently, more than 1,000 students have signed a petition protesting against their packed exam timetable. They argue that it causes stress without good reason and that it will lead to them getting poor results that do not reflect what they are really capable of.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely support Strathclyde’s students (everyone can have a bad day or two during exam week, right?), but I’m wondering if their proposal goes far enough.

I think we can do much better in the UK to go from world-class to our own league of excellence. And if you don’t want to hear the idealist in me talking because you have stopped believing in pushing great ideas even if they seem to

be not feasible… well you might want to read something else.

I don’t think Strathclyde go far enough, because I believe the system of end-of-term exams or being marked on one big piece of coursework is not working. While I appreciate that it simulates high-stakes, high-pressure situations, it also tells students that it’s fine to not do any work most of the time and then cram, which isn’t helpful and in no way a reflection of the labour market they will get into. It’s not ‘do this really big project and you’ll get promoted’, it’s ‘work hard continuously, maybe then I’ll think about a promotion’.

Indeed, I think we can learn a lot from the way American universities work.

They pride themselves on giving students more contact hours and feedback.

Marks are not based on big end-of-term exams or important pieces of coursework, but are calculated taking into account participation in debate, in-class quizzes, mid-term exams and finals – on top of two papers each semester. It is a system of continuous assessment.

While I realise this is not appealing, hear me out: research shows that learn-

ing takes a lot less effort if repeatedly recalled and communicated to others.

Cramming only creates short-term memories of little content; more spaced out learning makes sure you remember all the lectures and seminars for longer.

“You can become good if you have the right tuition, but you’ll only become great if you do what you love”

On the completely opposite end of the spectrum: the German philosopher Humboldt. He believed in a much more liberal system of education; professors could teach what they wanted, students could choose their professors for example.

Obviously the freedom that German

students enjoyed 100 years ago – like choosing their own lecturers - isn’t possible, but we should learn from it. Making it easier for students to explore what they want by allowing everyone to sit at the back of any lecture they choose is a start. Maybe someone discovers their love for Chemistry in a lecture about bioactive natural substances or their interest in literature in a session on James Joyce. Then make it easier for people to change courses, let them take a couple of first year modules on top of entering into second year, if they think they can do it.

Back in Humboldt’s day going to university was about gaining specific knowledge, sure, but he knew what is all to evident: university years are also formative ones. They make you a more rounded person and help you discover new passions and talents. That, along with the better learning outcomes we’d get by switching to other assessment techniques, is what would make us excellent. Because you can become good, if you have the right tuition - but you’ll only become great if you do what you love.

Unexpected item in bagging area

As the horse meat scandal gallops on, Comment Editor Georgie Moule discusses why we need to change our attitudes to food to prevent a similar scandal happening again GEORGIE MOULE COMMENT EDITOR

T

he horse meat scandal just keeps galloping on. We thought it had blown over after the discovery of traces of horse meat in frozen burgers, but in less than a month its grown and grown and everyday brings new revelations.

My issue with the scandal is not that I particularly object to eating horse.

Meat is meat, after all. My issue is that it shows a complete lack of regard for the consumer- a consumer who has the right to know what they’re eating.

I can’t say I’m particularly surprised though. In a country where we can buy eight sausages for 50p, we have clearly stopped caring about what is in the food we’re eating - it’s become a case of close your eyes, eat it and try to never think about it again.

“We’ve become so used to being able to buy cheap food that we’ve forgotten where that food comes from” Obviously, in hard economic times such as these, people need to save money and food is an obvious place to start.

However, in a hunt for cheaper food, supermarkets have had to respond to consumers’ changing attitudes towards

NEIGH BOTHER?

Image: Pottok (Wikimedia) food by sourcing products from further afield and using less meat and more scary-sounding preservatives instead.

Quantity and quality have both been shunned in order to provide increasingly hard-pressed consumers with what they are demanding. The only way to stop a scandal like this happening again is for people to realise that it isn’t possible to have good quality meat at bargain prices.

The meat in the horse lasagne possibly nestled in your freezer arrived there via an incredibly complex supply chain: A company in France called Comigel asked a subsidiary company in Luxemburg called Tavola to source meat.

Tavola ordered the meat from a different company in France, Spanghero.

Spanghero asked a company in Cyprus

to find the meat. The company in Cyprus subcontracted the order to a company in the Netherlands, which ordered the meat from an abattoir in Romania.

The supplier in Romania sent the meat to France, where it was made into various ready meals and sent to the UK and Ireland.

Is it any surprise then, when horsemeat is two to three times cheaper than beef that somewhere in that absurdly long supply chain, somebody cut corners to save money? In fact, the estimated profit of switching the meat from beef to horse is around €300,000 per 27 tons.

We’ve become so used to being able to buy increasingly cheap food that we’ve forgotten where that food comes from and why it is important to know. It’s taken a scandal of this magnitude to force a

change in attitudes. A poll for Sky News revealed that, since the revelations, one in five British shoppers have changed their shopping habits, and more than half of those had stopped buying processed meat altogether, while traditional butchers have seen a 30% rise in profits.

As students on a budget, it’s easy to be lured in by cheap and convenient meals.

But we should demand more respect from food manufacturers, and if paying a little bit more for your food means you can be sure that it is what you think it is, then surely it’s worth it.

Can you get your views into 140 characters? Tweet us at @Courier_comment

JAKE UNSWORTH

MARX MY WORDS #2: Why give up the good life?

I enjoy the beginning of February. It means that people will have begun giving up their New Year’s Resolutions; the brief re-embrace of life’s joys, however, is soon cut short by Shrove Tuesday and the beginning of Lent. Whilst many will give something up for religious reasons, secular self-deniers confuse the life out of me.

Giving something up – something one must necessarily enjoy if it requires effort to abstain from – is a terrible idea for so many reasons.

If anything, January and February should be months to overindulge, to compensate for dark afternoons and cold nights. Those who do use January to indulge, get to experience many benefits over those who flirt with self-denial. The avoidance of any notion of moral superiority, for example; not drinking for a month or so will not guarantee a seat in heaven, yet some seem to swagger as though their OBE is already in the post.

Perhaps a better point; giving up stuff for a month or so doesn’t actually help.

Sure you might lose a few pounds by giving up your daily Big Mac, but the lasting effects of giving something up for a month are minimal at best. With regards to ‘Dry January’, the British Liver Trust has warned that there are no quick fixes when it comes to long term health issues. A spokesperson pithily added that “It makes about as much sense as maxing out your credit cards and overdraft all year, then thinking you can fix it by just eating toast in January.

The figures just don’t stack up”.

The problem is that fun things are not healthy things; in fact, the extent to which the two rarely overlap seems beyond coincidence. The fact remains that we need vices - if you followed all the health advice from the Daily Mail, you would never eat anything, or even leave the house. Besides, what is the advantage in living longer and longer and longer?

Old age isn’t guaranteed fun. Chances are you’ll be married to someone you can’t stand the sight of, or who can’t stand the sight of you. That’s a best case scenario; visiting grandparents over Christmas and seeing the pain, the poor quality of life, which is the result of our increasingly ‘improving’ life expectancy, was a startling experience. Enjoy life and live in the now, anything less is a waste.

The same can be said to those bores who say: fat people/thin people/smokers/thrill-seekers - anything that doesn’t conform to some bizarre notion of misery-equals-virtue - cost the NHS too much money. Sure on the face of it, this is true. Caring for people with conditions brought about by obesity last year cost the NHS £4bn. But when you crunch the numbers, an obese person or a smoker costs less than a healthier equivalent over the course of their lifetime. A healthy person is more likely to die of a less-lethal ailment, the suffering of which will require expensive care, before the inevitable. Live fast, die young (er) and cost less.

The thought of giving up something for a short period of time is ridiculous.

Why give up something I enjoy in order to live for another few weeks in a retirement home? No thanks, give me back the bottle.

14.features

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Django Django unchained

Django Django had a pretty good 2012, bagging a Mercury Prize nomination and a wave of new fans. Before their set at this year’s NME Awards Tour at the O2 Academy, Matty Aston sat down with drummer Dave MacLean, to discuss their plans for the new year, music magazine culture, and the untimely demise of HMV

S

tepping foot on a tour bus has always seemed more of a dream rather than a reality to me, and Django Django’s request to stage an interview on their mobile home was certainly something I was never likely to turn down.

Speaking just hours before their first headline performance on this year’s NME Awards Tour, drummer Dave Maclean still seems rather taken aback by the high praise their self-titled debut album has received.

“Yeah, you know, you can’t complain. It was an album done in a weird way, out of our own pocket and our own love of making music, and so for it to have got this far is quite astonishing really”, he confesses.

“It’s been out a year or so now so the reception has died down a little bit, but I guess being asked to do this tour has brought it back to life and maybe brought it to some new fans, maybe younger fans who read NME, so it’s almost like starting again for that crowd.”

Regarding the sound of the record, Dave admits a number of bands proved highly influential. “I’d say at the core there’s The Beach Boys and The Beatles, and The Zombies and Pink Floyd, a lot of ‘60s stuff ”, he states. “And then production wise, there’s a kind of odd mixture

of people like Joe Meek and Giorgio Moroder, even dance stuff and hip hop like Public Enemy and Prince Paul, just really twenty years of record collecting, but I think at the core of it is ‘60s pop.”

Moving on to discuss the NME Awards Tour, of which tonight’s gig marks the beginning of a thirteen-date trek across the UK with support acts Miles Kane, Palma Violets and Peace, Dave reveals who he’s most looking forward to touring with.

“Miles probably, because I like The Last Shadow Puppets album and then the other two bands I’ve not heard before, so it’ll be interesting just coming into them cold since I’ve not heard their music.”

When pressed on any particular cities he’s looking forward to visiting, Dave admits, “Manchester always has a good crowd, and of course Newcastle cause we’re here now and we’ve not played here for years.”

Indeed it’s a testament to how far the band has come in such a short space of time. “We played here about three or four times before the album came out,” the drummer says. “We’ve only really played clubs, although we’ve played that pub that’s under an arch [The Tyne Bar] down by the river.

We all like doing smaller, intimate gigs.”

Despite the considerable success Dave and the rest of the band have achieved thus far, he still holds reservations as to whether they’ve finally ‘made it’ in the music industry. “We’re still unknown to a lot of people,” he claims.

“There are still people discovering us even though we’ve been around since 2008. I don’t think you ever quite feel like you’ve made it. I reckon even huge bands are still looking to move to the next level and go out and play gigs in places like India and Brazil. It’s a big world out there and I think that just because you’re on 6 Music doesn’t mean you’ve made it.”

“I mean we’re very happy and we’ve always been happy at every stage. We were happy when we sold 2000 albums and when we were playing in pubs and as the years have went on, I don’t think we felt we must get bigger.”

Regardless of this admission, it’s clear that Dave has high hopes for the future of the band and is keen to fulfil his biggest ambition as soon as possible. “To make a new album and put it out. I mean that’s always my goal,” he insists.

Although the four-piece have yet to

start working on a follow-up, the Scotsman declares, “That’s the big ambition, to have another album and make it better than our debut record.”

This strong desire is reflected by Dave’s preference for working in the studio rather than touring. “I think it’s where you feel you belong when you’re a musician,” he confesses. “Unless you’re just one of those bands that are an out and out live band, when even if you’re in the studio you’re still essentially a live band. That’s great as well and it’s a great way to be. But I think we’re more interested in production and mucking around in the studio to see what sounds we can get.”

Whilst the drummer clearly enjoys touring and meeting fans from around the world, he’s certainly not the biggest fan of life on the road. “I don’t like being away from home too long. We’ve got two months ahead of us and then we’re going to America for a month. We’re doing a big tour in America.

We were playing Lollapalooza but we’re not now because weddings and stuff are getting in the way!”

Dave acknowledges the band are set for a quieter 2013, “This year’s more about taking a bit of time out for ourselves and recording, so we’re giving ourselves the opportunity to go and have family holidays and stuff. 2012 was just mental, so festivals are going to be great but they’re not our priority this year.”

Quizzed on festivals in particular, he remained tight-lipped, although he did hint at a potential Glastonbury appearance; “I don’t think I’m allowed to say, but fingers crossed.”

Maclean himself has been influenced by a number of drummers from different generations; however he admits one individual stands out above the rest. “It’s obvious, but Ringo Starr. He’s not technically great but he’s got a weird way of playing and together with the way he was recorded, his beats are great.”

Nevertheless, Starr is not the only musician that has proved highly influential. “For me it would be funk drummers,” he explains. “Before I did this I was making instrumental hip hop and sampling funk loops and also Bo Diddley’s drummer who came up with that groove that The Rolling Stones kind of took on. He’s pretty special, so yeah, there is a wide variety really.”

Regarding the formation of the band, Dave reveals exactly how they all came to meet each other.

“Art School College. I guess we weren’t the normal band setup, because we were all into different things,” he confesses.

Interestingly, the drummer discusses how there wasn’t a specific individual that made him want to be in a band. “I remember going to see the French DJ, DJ Cam, when I was young and he made me want to be a hip hop DJ, which was about 1993-94.

That got me quite into DJing.”

However, Maclean was in no doubt as to which bands were responsible for introducing him to guitar music. “I remember going to see The Charlatans when I was quite young and that got me into current, what you might call indie. I already liked The Stone Roses and Primal Scream, and seeing The Charlatans live made me get more into a lot of different things, so that was quite a big gig,” he insists.

Music publications played a key role in his childhood and undoubtedly contributed to his increased interest in the world of music. “Select would be my all round favourite magazine. It finished around the same time as Melody Maker, but Music, Select and Jockey Slut [were what I grew up on]”, he adds.

“They’ve all gone now though and only NME, Q and Mojo are still around that I read when I was a teenager.”

The Courier

features.15

Monday 18 February 2013

NME Awards Tour

Peace / Palma Violets / Miles Kane / Django Django

O2 Academy, Newcastle Thursday 7 February

T

he first night of the NME Tour, here in Newcastle, began with a ‘luscious’ start as Harrison Koisser, front man of Peace, described to me in a short interview after his set.

This NME show and tour has the perfect line up.

The four acts – Peace, Palma violets, Miles Kane and Django Django – encapsulate the essence of so-called ‘NME music’. Being led on a musical journey from the youthful, psychedelic Peace, to the revival of the 70s punk sound with Palma Violets, through to the fast beat rock ‘n’ roll riffs from Miles Kayne. Finally we were treated to an out-ofbody experience with headliners Django Django.

To start off the night, Peace played the first of the four feel-good sets. Their energy took me back to a time when I was 15 and had just really gotten into music. Their youthful sounds and lyrics created real excitement. Peace had the youngest following, teenagers bouncing to the sound in the front; their set was perfectly constructed with a highlight in ‘Wraith’, their third to last track. The first night of the NME tour has earned Peace at least one more fan, and you can expect there to be larger recognition for this group by the end of the tour.

The minutes before Palma Violets began their set saw the crowd become dense. They started fast, shouty and fantastic and finished in the same way, with an instant wall of sound that demanded an energy expelling crowd. There was a bit of sound trouble as the vocals weren’t clear, but it didn’t matter. There was just one short break from raucous battering during their penultimate song, ‘Last Of The Summer Wine’, that tested the drummer’s athleticism and balance as he demonstrated how high he drummed, standing on his seat till the last cymbal note.

Django Django led me into a trance. Their beats and bass baked our souls and soles into a primeval shuffle that was maintained throughout their time on stage

NME is the subject of constant debate these days and Dave weighed in with his own views on the matter. “People love to have this love-hate relationship and it is what it is. It does a great job and I think people forget that they cover a huge variety of music. I mean they’ve had Beastie Boys and Public Enemy on the front”, he recalls.

“They don’t just focus on one thing, but people sort of think in their heads that they’re obsessed with indie music or whatever. I guess reading it again now because we’re in it, I’ll buy it. I don’t think we’ll make it onto the front, but it’s always good to be in it. It’s a great magazine and I hope it

keeps going and survives, because it’s such a shame when magazines go bust and the Internet’s made that inevitable.”

The drummer isn’t so keen to sympathise with HMV however, and instead highlights the continued importance of independent record stores. “I’m not so bothered about HMV to be honest, because for me when I was growing up it was a little bit like the baddie as it was putting independent record shops out of business. It was sort of looked at as like a bit of a loner when I was growing up in the nineties because they were just opening these huge stores and record departments that were set up

“That’s the big ambition, to have another album and make it better than our debut record”

to be like independent music shops, but they just weren’t.”

David confesses, “I’ve never shopped in HMV to be honest. I feel really sorry for people losing their jobs and it is a shame that people don’t buy music, and as a musician I should maybe say it’s terrible, but I just don’t care enough to be honest. I went to RPM Records in Newcastle earlier today, if that went bust I’d be like ‘fuck, that’s awful’ because that’s a great little record shop.

Before the interview wraps up, I get a quick word from him on the success of his fellow Scots, Biffy Clyro. “Well it’s great because they’re Scottish!” he laughs. “I’ll be championing them all the way. They make a great racket for three people; I’m always surprised there are just three of them. They bash it out and they’re just really good at what they do, writing songs, and they deserve to be as big as possible.”

Here’s hoping one day they can match Biffy’s level of success and with Dave’s drive and determination, who’s to say that isn’t possible?

Miles Kane, dressed in full leather, received the loudest cheer so far of the night, after his first song.

He, being a Mancunian nice guy rock ‘n’ roller, gave a more personal set, with frequent comments and direct attempts to hype the crowd, each of which were successful. All of the sets, and most of all Miles’, were flawless. Miles’ solos flowed effortlessly while he shuffled his legs around under his guitar.

The quality of the music was just as high as Peace’s, sounding like a solid set that had been played live non-stop for weeks beforehand, a great standard for the first night of a tour.

Django Django, wielders of the largest tambourine on earth, took us to another place. After the violent energy release of Palma Violets and Miles Kayne, Django Django led me into a trance. Their beats and bass baked our souls and soles into a primeval shuffle that was maintained throughout their time on stage, which, mixed with their innovative keyboard and harmonies, created great balance to the experience. Everyone from 15 to 50 was moving in contented bliss. I have previously been unaware of Django Django’s existence and was thrown in at the deep end of a top class, unique live act.

A great line-up and perfect performances, The NME Awards Tour at Newcastle was a feast for the ears.

Henry Camamile

16.fashion

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor: Sally Greenwood

Campus fashion Course: Medicine Year: 1st

Course: Architecture Year:1st

Scarf : Next, £2 Jumper: Zara, £40 Bag: Topman, £20 Jeans: Zara, £30 Boots: Jones Bootmakers, £30

Scarf : A shop in Amsterdam , £5 Top: Present Jacket: £200, Armani Jeans: £40, Zara Shoes: £100, Prada Earrings: £7, Accessorize

Total cost of outfit: £122

Total cost of outfit: £362

Hari says: “I tend to like vintage clothing in muted colours. This is probably my only striped jumper; I usually love monotone and I’m a very big fan of boots. I usually always go for blue, black, brown or white as they really suit my complexion.”

Verdict: I love the way Hari’s clothes complement each other so elegantly. Although all the tones are muted, together they create a bright classy outfit that is refreshing on a winter day. The look gives off a very manly, rough edge but still keeps the youthful look intact.

Alexandra Murzina

Hari Hook

Aditya Sharanya heads out to find two stylish students on campus this week

Alexandra says: “I love blues and greys. My style is very simple and casual. I like being comfortable in what I wear.”

Verdict: I love the way the greys and blues complement Alexandra’s greyish blue eyes. Her jewellery is delicate which adds to the soft colours in her outfit. I also love the combination of big brand names with high street items. She creates a truly unique, feminine yet casual look.

The hall of fashion fame

Sophie Main gives us a run down of some of the industry’s most influential figures

Image: Christophschaefer at en.wikipedia

Grace Coddington

Karl Lagerfeld

Vivienne Westwood

Alexander McQueen

This fabulous red head started her fashion career in the 1950s as a model for Vogue. Despite a car accident at the age of 26 that saw her lose an eye lid, Coddington did not shy away from the fashion industry and soon became a junior editor at British Vogue. She then went on to work for the likes of Calvin Klein and since 1988 has been the creative director for American Vogue.

It’s not only her incredible half a century career in fashion that makes Coddington an icon, but her inspirational attitude that highlights her as an important member of the fashion industry. Her love and passion for her work radiates from the pages of the magazine, and is also evident in the fly on the wall documentary The September Issue, in which we see why people like Anna Wintour have named this woman a genius.

This German born designer, artist and photographer is famous worldwide even beyond the fashion industry. With his iconic look consisting of the sharp black suit, high collared shirt and those mysterious black shades there are few people that can ignore his presence.

Since 1955, Karl Lagerfeld has being pushing fashion forward. As the head designer and creative director for Chanel since 1981, Lagerfeld has revitalised the fashion house and ensured its success in the current day. Although he is perhaps most famous for this work for Chanel, he is also the creative director for Fendi and has his own label, Lagerfeld. His commitment to all three of the design houses, each one as iconic as the next, culminates in this man creating over 16 fashion collections a year.

Now in her seventies, Dame Vivienne Westwood is still one of the most iconic fashion designers in Britain. Accredited with being the woman accountable for the punk style of the ‘70s, this woman has been rock ‘n’ roll fashion royalty for over four decades.

Her use of British fabrics and her play on heritage style sees her designs celebrating British tradition in a continuously innovative manner. There’s a real sense of showmanship in her creations that has encouraged confidence from the catwalk to the gritty high streets.

Beyond her clothing, Westwood is known for her activity in politics, utilising her high profile to help others. Her commitment to tackling global issues like climate change highlights her as an inspirational individual beyond the world of fashion.

After leaving school at 16, the late designer Alexander McQueen strived for a career in fashion.

His determination resulted in him becoming chief designer at Givenchy only four years after graduating from college. His accolades include four British Designer of the Year Awards and cliental ranging from royalty to celebrities.

McQueen’s career was beyond successful and presented the world with creations that consistently challenged the boundaries of fashion.

His creativity was evident not only in his apparel, but also in his famously extravagant shows that once saw spray painting robots invading the catwalk.

Through the confidence in his creativity and theatrical display of his opinions, McQueen earned the affectionate title of the ‘bad boy of fashion’.

The Courier

fashion.17

Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Fashion

Let the stars direct your style For too long we have looked to the elements merely for relationship advice or to tell us what month we are best to invest in a Euromillions ticket, but why not get some style secrets from the stars too?

Air

Fashion Blog of the Week

www.paigejoanna.blogspot.co.uk

Water

Skirt: Topshop, £40 Blouse: H&M, £14.99 Necklace: H&M, £7.99 Shoes: Miss Selfridge, £45

Blouse: H&M, £19.99 Hat: H&M, £7.99 Trousers: Topshop, £42 Whilst 2013 may have been a little dull so far, fear not, for things are looking up. It’s a year for success, results, and accomplishment, so it’s all about thinking positively. February’s stars invite you to take a risk and try something new. Air strongly represents change, freedom and individuality and what better way to reflect this than with your wardrobe? Guiding you through the month is your focused mind, which can be mirrored in the way you dress. A sharp, polished outfit is exactly what you need to stand out. Think clean, fresh and tailored.

The hat in the outfit shown is something of a statement, dramatizing the outfit and creating a more stylish look. Not everyone feels comfortable wearing hats as an accessory but why not try something new? The outfit is light with the floaty blouse, but also daring and inventive teamed with tailored trousers. Watch out for an encouraging opportunity on the 27th.

If the start of the New Year hasn’t lived up to your expectations so far, water signs will be happy to know that this month is the kick-start of many good vibes. Water signs are fashion chameleons when it comes to dressing, and your malleable style makes it easy for you to try new risks with clothing and outfits. Saturn in your sign will help your natural creativity and imagination shine, and using this in work situations will help to bring about positive change. Water signs love to experiment and this month flamboyant details and accessories are a must. This skirt from Topshop has eye-catching holographic flecks running through it and is tipped to be a hot trend during S/S13. This month, the Venus in your sign leaves you feeling flirty and so what better way to reflect that than with a short and sweet skirt! Pair this with a floaty laid-back blouse and blue jewelled statement necklace to add just the right amount of detail without being too over the top.

Megan Garforth

Cass Walkland

Dress: Zara, £70 Shoes: Zara, £30 Bag: Ted Baker, £120

Follow Paige on Twitter: @paigecalvert1 Rebecca Gregory

Online Boutique of the Week

Earth

Fire

Paige Calvert is a 21 year-old student from Portsmouth. Her blog combines fashion posts alongside updates on her day-to-day thoughts and experiences. Paige aptly describes her style as casual, playful and vintage. If you’re looking for inspiration on how to layer and combine various pieces, this blog will be right up your street. Paige’s style manages to create that optimum balance we all strive for, between effortlessly thrown on and perfectly put together. With outfits and accessories that are quirky, sweet and best of all, affordable, there are plenty of ideas to inspire you to try something fun and different with your style.

www.dahlia.com

Dress: Urban Outfitters, £9 Pumps: Zara, £10 Bag: Vintage

This month fire signs love lives are going to be hotting up, so the chances of meeting that tall, dark and handsome stranger that the horoscopes keep promising, are very likely.

Therefore all you daughters of fire should engage with your fashion-scope, and get a head start on planning that perfect date outfit. Fire signs are renowned for their innate confidence and leadership qualities, which makes them the trend-setters of the fashion world, with the ability to carry off even the trickiest of trends. Bold colours and tough fabrics will work perfectly for these fiery females, think scarlet red and luxe leather (or pleather as the case may be), like the Zara dress pictured. Due to their intrinsic self-assurance these lucky ladies also ooze chic, allowing them to nonchalantly wear styles that most of us feel belong on the catwalk. So don’t be afraid to don curve creating dresses, killer heels or risqué fabrics, because fire signs were born to make a statement - it’s your destiny. Sharp lines suit these no nonsense women, and metallic zips and studs are a welcome accessory to any of her outfits. Sexy yet sophisticated, fierce but feminine and trendsetting yet timeless are the main elements of their zodiac style mantra. So root out your most fiery ensemble and get ready to ignite your love life this February.

For earth signs February promises a sudden breakthrough in your degree, ‘at long last’ I hear you all cry. So this month all you nature loving ladies should be looking to create the ideal library look. Floaty fabrics and natural colours such as blues and greens are two easy ways to nail the earthy style. Typically the star signs that fall into the earth category are praised for their level headedness and practicality which can be embodied in their elegant attire. Day dresses like the one pictured are perfect for earth signs as they are on-trend without being outrageous.

They’re also practical as they can be teamed with pumps for a daytime look, but can easily be transformed into an Ozzy Road outfit with the help of a few classic accessories. The versatility of earth signs’ wardrobes should prepare them for all eventualities. February is looking to be a good month for fashionable earth, so it might be worth cashing in on your current streak of luck and buying a scratch card or two, who knows a small win may enable you to invest in another classic staple for your earth inspired wardrobe.

Claire McNiffe

Claire McNiffe

If you love embellished collars and attention to detail you will instantly fall in love with Dahlia’s clothes. Their eye for the latest trends feature on their clothes, with studded jumpers and western themed shirts. To add a bit of glam on an evening pick up one of their shirts, with a touch of sparkle and a few pearls to catch someone’s eye. Alternatively their new range ‘Dahlia Sister’ is a bit more bohemian and you’re sure to stand out and make a fashion statement with a fringed skirt or an abstract dress. Or why not pick up a gorgeous statement necklace to complete your outfit?

For 20% off at Dahlia use the code NEWCASTLE20 Daisy Ridley

The Courier

beauty.19

Monday 18 February 2013

Beauty Editors: Amy Macauley, Lizzie Hampson Elissa Hudson & Sally Greenwood

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty courier.beauty@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Beauty

Walk of shame beauty essentials

A drunken escapade ending at somebody else’s house might seem a good idea at the time, but how do you deal with it the next day? Hazel Parnell gives us some tips to turn your walk of shame into a stride of pride

Start

Finish

1. Concealer Another standard but very effective one. Concealer easily gets rid of the bags you’ve developed under your eyes due to lack of sleep and also covers the lipstick you’ve managed to get on one of your eyebrows (I don’t know how but it happens). If you don’t want to bring your nice makeup out in fear of losing it, Loreal Paris’ Infallible concealer (£5.69) is small, cheap and will fit in your bag easily.

2. Comb An essential for adding volume to your hair on nights out, and invaluable in getting rid of those tangles in the morning. A little comb will take up next to no room in your bag and will be a life saver when you wake up the next morning faced with a 20 minute trek across Jesmond to get home.

3. Almay Oil free Makeup Eraser Sticks (eBay: £5 for 48) These are the same size as cotton buds and will easily fit in your going out bag. They provide a single drop of makeup removing liquid so can be used to wipe off your morning panda eyes and the lipstick you’ve smudged all over your face the night before.

The best of spring 2013 Beauty Editor Elissa Hudson runs us through her tops picks of this year’s spring releases

Top tip: quality over quantity

Estée Lauder Illuminating Powder Gelée Blush in ‘Tease’ (£30) This is hands down the most beautiful blush from any brands’ spring collection this year. Its silky smooth texture and perfectly glowy finish make it worth splashing out on, whilst the mirrored gold casing and large mirror makes you feel like you’ve got a really special product. As for the shade, it’s sheer yet buildable and looks lovely layered over a matte blush of a similar tone to give extra dimension to the face.

Chanel Rouge Allure Velvet in ‘La Favorite’ (£25) If you’re searching for a matte lipstick then look no further than the Chanel Rouge Allure Velvets.

They’re matte but not drying and feel comfortable on the lips for hours. The colour range is pretty special and includes everything from flattering nudes to deep plums, with the middle ground being a few coral shades that are perfect for spring. My favourite of these is the aptly named ‘La Favorite’: an almost neon pink toned coral that really brightens the face.

It is easy to think you’re getting a bargain when you buy a cheap product, but the chances are if it is cheap, it’s probably not that good. Therefore you are quite possibly wasting your money. There are exceptions to this rule of course and you do get some great products on the high street, but it seems that (in this consumerist society) it is natural for people to want to have more ‘stuff ’ rather than a few good quality products. Instead of heading to Superdrug and buying everything on offer, take a bit of time to research and try out higher quality products before buying - you can often ask for samples at counters in department stores. Whether you’re buying one Burberry eyeshadow (£23), or a load of cheap MUA makeup, the chances are you will be spending the same amount of money either way - if you stick to the ‘only spend what you can afford’ rule anyway. Less is more, and you’ll enjoy using your luxurious,

high-quality products much more than some gritty, cheap stuff that you bought on a whim which might not even suit you.

The same rule is most definitely applicable to skin care. The ingredients in cheaper skin care are often not actually very good for your skin, which defeats the object. Look out for mineral oil on ingredients lists, as this is known for clogging pores and consequently causing spots and blackheads. More expensive brands tend to use more expensive, and consequently better, ingredients that are much more likely to make a difference to your skin (although there are obviously some exceptions to this rule). Whileyou don’t have to spend a fortune, spending a little bit more on your skin care can really make a difference. After all, you only get one face so make sure you look after it and avoid those wrinkles!

Annie Morgan

20.lifestyle

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter

Top 5:

How to: keep warm in the Winter

Karma Points A guide to avoiding outside and keeping as Keep calm and Karma on I spent some of my Gap Yah travelling in south-east and eastern Asia and became like totally engaged with Buddhism and the teachings of the Dalai Lama. And let me tell you what I’ve learnt: Karma can be a real bitch. But keep calm and Karma on, because just for you guys I have compiled a list of the Top 5 Ways to get yourself some good Karma! In the progress I will have gotten some good Karma too, for sharing my knowledge with you. It’s all just a beautiful circle of sharing and giving, and giving and sharing.

Financial Karma Give a little, get a little. This could be applied to so many aspects of your life but I know for us students we could all do with a good bit of financial karma. So next time you see a homeless person, at least drop them some coppers! If someone is in the laundry room and the machine just ate one of their pound coins and you can give them one then totally do it. Trust me you guys, Karma will pay you back double at least in feelings of being totes generous, but you may also find 20 quid on the street. Yay Karma!

warm as you can, as the snow starts again in the Arctic conditions of Newcastle...

After taking advantage of free heating and a condensation free house whilst at home for Christmas, the return to your Newcastle home-come-igloo is to put it mildly, filled with terror as you realise that you’ve taken for granted the luxury of dry towels after showers. Pints of

diesel in Mens Bar and Boots meal deals clearly take priority over bills so here are some semi fool proof ways to attempt to stay warm, or at least not frost bitten this winter.

Spending longer than necessary on the Nature Staircase in the library...

It’s open 24/7 so if you’re beginning to lose the feelings in your fingers and toes then just head down to the Robbo. We’re paying over £3,000 (or £9,000 for some of you poor buggers out there) to be here so we need to get our money’s worth. Let’s face it, barring Jesmond Tesco, the libes is the social hub of uni as well as a practical and cheap way to stay warm. Be sure to bring your smartphone and laptop chargers folks and just keep them plugged in and don’t even worry ‘cos it’s absolutely FREE. If you want to people-watch, get a prime spot on the tables near the entry barriers. For maximum warmth I’d suggest hitting the computer clusters in the basement. There’s no windows for any draft to come in so guaranteed sweat fest. The feeling of hot, panic ridden air as your enter through the revolving door and urge to strip off all outer/knitwear is just so comforting that you’ll never want to leave.

Put on the Vodka Jacket!

Another technique is to down twenty trebles in Sinners so you’ll be too smashed to feel the sub zero temperatures. However this is quite a short term fix as once the vodka jacket and alcohol sweats have worn off you’ll be back to square one. I say get to the libes. It’s totally free, a social hotspot and might even help with the old degree (in decreasing order of importance).

Text: Ellyn Bramley Illustrations: Ellie Hegarty

Sober Layering...

Educational Karma Another student worry, what with exams only just having ended, is school work and who wouldn’t just love some positive A* educational Karma?! So guys, don’t plagiarise or you are going to get bad grades! Because, duh, cheating equals bad Karma!

Other options include investing in a 13.5 tog duvet, digging out those skiing thermals from Austria 2009 and layering them with a onesie, dressing gown, hat, gloves and a scarf. A hot water bottle is a must – make sure you put it in your bed at least half an hour before lights out to feel the full benefit.

Social Karma This one is simple guys. Treat others the way you want to be treated. That means treating everyone like they are attractive and funny and stylish and rah even if you know they totally aren’t. This way everyone gets to feel as good as you feel every single day. Yay you!

Relationship Karma Being in a relationship can be hard but now that you’ve opened your life to the wonders of Karma your love life is going to get way better, because, like, if Karma is about giving and sharing and relationships are about giving and sharing then Karma and relationships go together better than salt and vinegar, than peanut butter and jelly, than Posh and Becks! So your significant other wants to do something boring and totally stupid that you totally didn’t want to do... until you found Karma and realised you should totes do it because you know that it will result in you being spoilt in return. Hello, breakfast in bed, expensive prezzies and lots of attention!

Spiritual Karma We’ve looked at some aspects of life above but is any aspect really as important as the spiritual? I don’t think so!

And boy do I have a great way for you to gain some spiritual Karma – by spreading Karma itself! Show this article to the yet-to-be-enlightened as awakening someone else’s spirituality will do wonders for yours!

I know you are all so grateful but you’re so welcome.

Katie Smith

I am not a 1337 h4x0r, nor I am not a hundred percent certain of what that means. I’m not great at computer games, but no one can be good at everything. Or so I’m told. Another thing I’m bad at is dealing with wintertime. I hate it. Where I grew up we didn’t have snow, and so when the blasted stuff starts falling from the sky

– that’s when I start falling on my arse. So if you, like me, are planning to spend a bit more time than usual indoors in this wind-that-will-chill-your-nose-rightoff time, then maybe I can tempt you in some gaming?

C’mon, The Big Bang Theory and The IT Crowd made it cool. Kind of. C0m3 p14y!

Text: Chrystina Martel

Minecraft League of Legends Genre: Online Multiplayer Metascore: 78/100 Price: Free Cheesy name? Check. Awesome game? Check. The question is: are you a legend? I hope you’re vigorously nodding your head or screaming “YES!” like you’re in one of those Herbal Essences adverts, because if so, then this game is for you. You will die. A lot. But that’s okay. Everyone starts out at level one, so you’ll be playing with other n00bs. Sorry, legends. Other legends. The concept is simple: protect your towers, attack the enemy towers… win. Gameplay isn’t too challenging: there are only six buttons you have to press whilst fighting. If in doubt: press all at once. That’s what I do sometimes.

Whatever works, eh? You can play loads of different “Champions” that have a range of different roles and abilities and there are always more and more being added to the mix. Hey, if you get started now you could take part in the next championship and win five million US dollars! Probably not going to happen, but I’m not going to be the one to rain on your parade. Dream big Padawan, dream big.

Genre: First Person Sandbox Metascore: 93/100 Price: £17.95 (free trial available) So we’ve seen a hipster photo-app, but have you ever wondered what would happen if we let those crazy kids design games? Here it is.

Kind of. More Indie than Hipster, so the graphics aren’t great (in fact they are awful) but that’s all part of the charm. Anyway. Imagine Sims but with the focus on building rather than on making the fake people have fireworks go off under the sheets during “woohoo” time. The designers of The Sims are all clearly virgins. Or have very dangerous sex. But I digress. If I haven’t sold you on Minecraft yet, you can also saddle up pigs and steer them around with a carrot on a stick. And make them fly by walking them off cliffs. But the focus is on building, and with regular patches heralding new exciting content you will never be bored with this ever-changing pixel world.

Those are just two of the millions (probably) of awesome games out there waiting for you to kick ass in. So next time you’re thinking of doing something silly (like go outside when it’s snowing) ask yourself a question: do you want to be a legend? The answer to that question may have just saved you from falling on some ice: you’re welcome.

The Courier

sex&relationshipslifestyle.21

Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Life

Blind Date Luke Ramsden, 3rd Year Computer Science meets Rachael Thornton, Education Officer

Luke on Rachael What’s your usual type?

I generally go for brunettes. Someone who is nice to talk to and doesn’t take themselves too seriously. As long as they’re nice initially I don’t think I’m too picky.

First impressions?

I was five minutes early and she was five minutes late, so numb fingers aside first impressions were really good.

We only came together because we were two lost looking people that eventually had the courage to ask whether the other was on a blind date!

Any funny conversation topics?

I would describe the date as an evening full of tangents. We talked about all manner of random things including plans for next year and weird school teachers. It seemed to flow really well though and I didn’t find it awkward at all.

Any awkward moments?

Well she was from Bradford so there were a few moments when I didn’t quite understand what she was saying, which got progressively worse after a few drinks.

As when she started to slur her words, things began to get more difficult.

What was her best trait?

Her sense of humour, she was really quick and witty which I liked about her.

What was her worst trait?

Nothing - we got on really well, there was no lull in conversation, and I generally thought she was a really nice girl.

At any point did you understand why she was single?

Probably because she’s so busy. She’s got an actual job so has actual things to do, as opposed to me who is just a student.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

Yes, so I did at the end of the date and she responded well to it!

Would your parents approve?

They’d love her. My family are really easy going and originally from the north, which I think would be important for her!

Will you see each other again?

Yeah probably. We swapped numbers, so there’s possibility for another date in the future I hope.

Marks out of 10?

8

Rachael on Luke What’s your usual type?

I’d need somebody taller than me, who’s funny and chatty and generally takes the mick out of me a bit. I don’t mind what they look like but I’d probably go for somebody dark haired.

First impressions?

I arrived a bit late so he was standing out in the cold. We exchanged a few awkward looks before establishing why we were both there. After that point he was very friendly and chatty.

Any funny conversation topics?

At first we struggled because he couldn’t understand my accent. We took the mick out of some guys next to us who were getting far too into the football, but otherwise the conversation was pretty standard.

Any awkward moments?

My friend started chatting to me behind the bar not knowing who he was and then I proceeded to down pint in front of him, which I think he found impressive.

What was his best trait?

He acted like a gentleman and was part Italian.

What was his worst trait?

He was a bit geeky.

At any point did you understand why he was single?

Not really, he was a nice guy but he did say that IT people don’t go out that much, which scared me a bit.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

We had a little kiss, yeah...

Would your parents approve?

I can’t see why not, he had good job prospects, but they would have judged him a bit because he’s not northern.

Will you see each other again?

We exchanged numbers so I’m not saying never.

Marks out of 10?

I think a 7

Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help! Send your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Jonathan Lipfriend

Lost in translation #4 - Bog seats and broomsticks Domesticity: (noun) home or family life. Generally, I would say, the word conjures a comforting, homely vibe. If you’re imagining an apple pie cooling on the windowsill whilst the apronadorned mother checks on the children playing in the next room, you wouldn’t be far off describing my house this year.

Living with more than one domestic goddess and more than a few childish students means that both afternoon tea and cake and afternoon indoor rugby are common occurrences.

However, living in a house of 5 girls and 4 guys provides an interesting change from the male-dominated home I left in Bristol. It turns out that some things I take for granted as normal and inoffensive, are in fact the cause of debate and disgust. Let me stop beating around the bush and get down to the nitty-gritty: the toilet seat debate.

I’m reasonably certain we all know how this goes. Girls need it down and, as I have found out, hate it when guys leave it up. But why? It is a matter of half a second to put the toilet seat up or down; we should know, we have to do it half a dozen times a day! And for all of you who say it’s disgusting, it’s surely less disgusting than putting your legs on the toilet seat; at least everyone washes their hands after going to the loo. Also, for those who claim to not touch the toilet seat at all but decide to squat instead, you don’t even need the seat down!

And finally, to all those who claim it to be rude, inconsiderate or selfish I say, when was the last time you lifted the seat up in preparation for the next person who needed to use the toilet? In fact the only valid reason I have ever heard for keeping the seat down is my housemate’s sob story of the time she fell into the loo in the night, expecting the seat to be down... but that’s more of a comedy reason than a valid point (sorry unnamed housemate!).

One of my other major flaws which often goes unnoticed is my habit of making my rubbish into small balls and throwing them at the bin. Living in a household which takes it’s beer pong incredibly seriously (we own 70 red solo cups just so as to not run out), I am of course not the only person who does this. However, despite being a beer pong master, I do still occasionally miss.

Also, often it’s a long way to the bin and I just forget about it, until the next time I take out the bin and find 40 empty packets of crisps in small balls behind it... My defence for this? None really, it’s just really fun to throw things in/at/towards the bin.

I do understand how someone could find this very irritating. I’m basically just throwing rubbish on the floor. But no. The thing I get told off for is using the toilet selfishly. I mean honestly, who uses the toilet altruistically?

22.lifestyle

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_life

BNOC knock...

Who’s there?

Dave Malortie, Spotted’s Happy Clapper if it goes wrong then, whatever!’

The Unmastered Art of Baking

Did you have any accomplices?

Yeah, my mate Sean Hooker from the Surf Club agreed to film it, but ideally we were hoping for a video of the whole library standing up and clapping together.

Truffles Today we’re making my luxuriously dark chocolate truffles. These are decadent but addictive, and truly far easier to make than you’d imagine.

If you forgot about Valentine’s Day, or, like most of us, didn’t have anyone to celebrate it with, these little treats will definitely make up for it. You can use this recipe alongside my video for TCTV and watch my method step by step by going to www. youtube.com/user/thecourieronline Ingredients: 250g dark chocolate 110ml double cream 55g unsalted butter 1tbsp golden syrup Golden syrup for dusting your truffles Method: 1. Break up your chocolate into small pieces. I like to use chocolate with the highest cocoa content I can find - 70% upwards is best.

2. Put the chocolate, cream, butter and golden syrup in a heat proof bowl over a recently boiled pan of water.

3. Put it on the hob and, stirring occasionally, melt the ingredients until smooth and glossy 4. Cover the bowl with cling film and place into the fridge until completely cool.

5. Once your mixture has cooled (this will take between 10 and 30 mins) use either an electric or hand whisk to mix the ingredients until they lighten in colour and turn a toothpaste-like texture.

This should take about 5 minutes on an electric whisk.

Returning from my Christmas break, like many of my fellow students, I resigned myself to spending a month in the library in preparation for exams. This chore was relieved greatly by the appearance of the ‘Spotted: Newcastle Robinson Library’ Facebook page, which provided a bit of welcome procrastination for everybody. After spending pretty much every day in the library, I decided I would take a day off and work from home. The date was 13th January 2013 and this fateful decision was one which I will regret for the rest of my student days. It was the day that final year student Dave Malortie, bravely stood up on floor 3 of the library and clapped his way to BNOC status, via a video posted on the page.

So Dave, what inspired you to stand up and clap with such confidence?

Well, the ‘Spotted’ page posted up a call to everyone to clap at 3pm, and I thought, ‘I have no shame,

Restaurant Review Mannaza Korean Grill House

Oh dear, were you expecting other people to clap with you then?

I was hoping everyone would stand up. I know not everyone is aware of the Facebook group, but I did expect people to join in with the clapping once I had started it. Quite a few people messaged me after they’d seen the video to say that they were going to join in, but then it was far too funny to watch me doing it alone.

I have to agree that a video of students in the library wouldn’t have been anywhere near as funny as just you Dave… Did you expect it to go viral?

No, not at all! We sent the video in to ‘Spotted’, and then it went up on the site. I was sat in my mate’s living room at about 6pm and just watched the numbers spiral out of control… It was crazy!

Have you been recognised since?

I have actually! The craziest thing is that I’ve been getting random friend requests from places as far away as India and America!

So, before the clapping incident, were you particularly involved with the Spotted page? (There is a sheepish silence, and a mischievous glint in

Mon - Sun midday – 10.00pm 5-7 Taylors and Tanners Court NE1 5XD 01912327950

7. Now it’s time to form your truffles: Use either a small melon baller or your hand to form the mixture into small balls - about 3 cm spheres.

8. Then dip your truffle balls into the cocoa powder, lightly shake off the excess. You can also dip the truffles into melted chocolate if you fancy something sweeter - white chocolate makes these look like tiny snowballs!

9. Repeat this process until you’ve used up all of the mixture.

10. There you have it - it really is that simple. My delicious dark chocolate truffles!

Situated off the back streets of Newcastle’s City Centre is a whole new dining experience, in the form of Mannaza Korean Grill House. Although difficult to find, once we arrived we were greeted by the quaint arches under which the Grill resides.

Our friendly waiter showed us to our table and told us about Mannaza’s great deal of three courses (starter, side and main) for £15 including a drink.

Despite the restaurant being rather busy, our waiter took his time to explain the menu in great detail to us, making his own personal recommendations.

So we jumped in at the deep end with a traditional Korean Rice Tea and a local beer (Hite) as well as ordering the most traditional food we could from the extensive choice available.

Have you been spending less time in the library now exams are over? (In other words, is the Robinson a safer place these days…?)

Embarrassingly, no. Final year sucks. At least you can get a seat now though.

Do you do much in you spare time besides clapping?

When I’m not clapping in public, I’m thinking of new places where I can clap in public!

Finally, a few words of advice for any aspiring BNOCs? Have no shame. Just do it. Don’t do things purposely to try to become a BNOC, just do things without caring.

As of the 11th February 2013, the video has received 3,254 likes, and can be found on the Facebook page ‘Spotted: Newcastle Robinson Library’.

Dave can still be found clapping, often in solitary places, void of family or friends…

Grace Stephenson

Opening Times

6. Then put the mixture back in the fridge for about 15 minutes, or until really stiff.

Fran Ede

his eye…)

Ah, well yes… I have actually. The ‘free sandwiches in the Library café’ prank was also me. It went up on the page, and within minutes people started appearing. One of the first to come down was a friend of mine, so I had to grab her quickly and explain it was a hoax. (…such a gent...) It was like a tidal wave. The whole area of the café was crowded. It was hilarious to watch, but we ran off before it got out of hand!

Our two starters, arriving promptly after we ordered, were plenty for the both of us and it gave us an opportunity to sample some Korean delicacies.

The Korean Style Sweet and Sour King Prawns were a must have and the Chicken and Vegetable Pan Fried Dumplings complimented them nicely.

It was the right amount to curb our hunger pangs of the day and leave us excited to try the main dishes, which came out quickly after - maybe a little too soon!

As we had both had a sneak peak of the menu and some reviews beforehand, we were well aware that the self-grill was key to the dining experience at Mannaza. Therefore, the only decision we were left to make for the main was what meat to

“the self-grill was key to the dining experience at Mannaza” cook. As one of us is a huge lover of steak the beef rib eye was our first choice followed by the sliced pork belly. This was all accompanied by our sides of Kimchee (the national dish of Korea) and Seasoned Spinach. We were surprised that they both came cold and went with the meat like pickle is to ham in England. We were excited to cook the meat ourselves but you have to be prepared to get stuck in and ignore the smoke clouding around your table. Along with the raw meat, we were provided with olive oil and barbeque paste with which to glaze the meat. There was also an unknown brown sauce which we tried chucking on the hot plate before cooking. This only resulted in a big smokey mess and our waiter having to open the door to waft out the smoke! While the meat was lovely our only criticism was that we don’t think the two meats and side alone would have been enough as we also had a bowl of chicken and rice (steamed rice in a hot stone bowl), which kind of eradicates the whole 3 courses for £15 idea.

Overall, we give Mannaza a big thumbs up. It’s perfect if you want to try something interactive and different, away from the usual standard meal out. However, you have to be prepared to spend a little more. The self-grill would be really fun on a date or even for when the parents come to visit. So next time you fancy a change, head to Mannaza!

Demi Carnelley and Alexandra Bonnett

The Courier

lifestyle.23

Monday 18 February 2013

Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter

Travelling the Unknown: weekend trips on a budget Image: Flickr (photosteve101)

#1 - A day trip to Edinburgh

With Rosie Pritchard

With everyday stress accumulating and exam madness finally ending the daily get-away option seems increasingly attractive. You want to escape and recreate, but have only a day? Seek no more. The answer is to visit the Scottish capital Edinburgh– close enough to get there early and diverse enough to offer something to everybody.

Known as the world city of festivals, it’s worth checking if you can make your visit coincide with a festival or another major cultural event. Multiple of these are held in the city every year. The experience is unique and well worth it.

You can’t do that? Do not fear, just relax and absorb the amazing atmosphere of the city. From the Royal Mile and the Edinburgh Castle, through the magnificent architecture of the old city, that blends timeless ancient symbols with baroque attention to detail, to the new city that is modern, yet enchanting. The streets are bustling with activity, the shops offer a variety of opportunities to spoil oneself and authentic Scottish pubs provide solid warm food and a selection of beverages to recharge your batteries.

If you want to soak the atmosphere and get to know the people, there is nothing better than to emerge yourself in the scene and walk, talk, shop and dine as you please.

If, however, you favour a more traditional tour of the city landmarks you will be happy to learn most of the must-see-sights are located within walking distance of the upper part of the Royal Mile in the old city. You can arm yourself with a map from the tourist centre and fill the day with getting to know Greyfriars Bobby, the heart of Midlothian, the Edinburgh Castle, the National Gallery, Princes Street and others famous tourist attractions. The best thing is you won’t need to travel far to see all of these landmarks.

If you’re after expert knowledge on the history of Edinburgh and your party is under 10 people, I recommend sparing a few minutes before your trip to book a free tour with Sandemans. The tours start from the centre of the old city on the Royal Mile. The idea is that you pay nothing at the start of the tour, and decide at the end if the time was well spent and how much it was worth - if you are dissatisfied you pay nothing.

Sandemans organises such tours in many major tourist destinations across Europe. Therefore

Hottie of the Week Alex, 23

Interviewed by Grace Stephenson

Course: Combined Honours: History, English Literature and Portuguese, Stage 4 Single / Taken? Single Who would be your ideal celebrity husband?

Michael Fassbender Ideal first date?

Nice and relaxed - I’d like to be taken out for a pizza and beer.

What’s the worst chat up line that’s been used on you?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?

What characteristics do you look for in a guy?

A cracking arse! No, but in all seriousness, a sense of humour is very important; if a guy makes me laugh, I’m theirs!

What’s been your most embarrassing moment recently?

I couldn’t pick - it seems as if my life is always embarrassing!

if you are sceptical of organised tours you can try them without wasting money, and it gives the tour guides extra motivation to impress you and make sure your group has a great time.

The guides on Sandemans’ staff are all very enthusiastic, prepared, knowledgeable and good sports. They will try their best, but won’t take offence if the tour was simply not to your taste. They even offer to take you to an locally-approved pub to make sure you taste good quality Scottish food and drink. It also gives you the chance to bombard the guide with any questions you have about Edinburgh and its people.

Rumour even has it that the pub crawls they offer (for when you’ve had your fill of looking at tourist attractions) are unmissable.

Either way, there’s little chance you’ll have anything less than a great day in Edinburgh!

Evgeniya Boykova Images: Flickr (Berto Garcia and Moyan_Brenn)

Trending Topics of the week #foreveralone The only thing worse on Valentine’s Day than a soppy declaration of love through social media is a bitter, desperado beggin’ it on social media.

Embarrassing. #LFW There was anticipation of London Fashion Week with designers showcasing their A/W 2013 collections this week. Even River Island will be taking to the catwalk for the first time in collaboration with none other than RiRi. Hopefully the collection won’t be shining bright like diamantes. #job Bricking it about graduating this year? Have no plan whatsoever but should probably get an actual job? Companies have been tweeting about positions they have, which is why I personally spend hours on end on Twitter. It’s an investment in my future.

Europa League Apparently it’s a big week for football with the first leg of the final 32 teams. The magpies are playing Met’st Kharkiv. Surely “we’ll” win? #District3LetsHaveText International, multi-platinum selling boy band/rejects from X Factor put their number on Twitter and apparently replied to Valentine’s texts. Too far. Even 1D’s Niall got involved – I expected better from him. #duttywine Beyonce executed the cray move that is Dutty Wine at the Super Bowl.

Legs like a butterfly and head banging. Now everyone’s tweeting about having a go. Don’t. Leave it to the professional.

Ellyn Bramley

Monday, 10am Went for the whole leggings and trainers look today, but apparently the general idea is high tops. Didn’t quite make the cut in my size seven New Balance. Plus, I couldn’t even bluff that I was going to the gym as I’d also thought it was a good idea to ‘accessorise’. Absol u t e nightmare. It seems I’m still making a ‘fashion statement’, but it’s more along the lines of ‘I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing here in my trainers’, rather than ‘I’m so fashionable I could pull off a large moustache and call it couture.’

2pm Anyway the trainers proved practical for walking home, which is the integral/only part of my fitness plan, I’m hoping to achieve ‘the thigh gap’ before summer but that seems a little hopeful. Got home to my large Amazon delivery- no, not books. Bulk-buy of fake tan after I discovered that you can actually buy pretty much anything on there, even if the seller’s name is ‘Semichem’ (Scottish, apparently).

So with a free afternoon ahead, what better way to fill it than with a luxurious full-body tan?! Turned a tad Geordie Shore after the third application, but the light in my room is pretty dim and obviously had the curtains closed to avoid any naked mishaps, think I’ll be covering up for a couple of days to let the orange hype die down a little.

5pm However, I think the tan was definitely the reason for what happened later. Popped into Greggs for a late afternoon sausage roll, as you do when you can’t face getting all Jamie Oliver, and it seems my ‘healthy glow’ caught the fancy of the guy behind the counter. To cut a long story short it ended badly, was so embarrassed after he got a bit too familiar (a bit too loudly) and left so quickly I forgot my change- it’s heartbreaking realising you’ve just paid £5 for a really average sausage roll.

7pm Back home to Jen’s plans of a little get together for all of us who are unlikely/ definitely not going to have any Valentine’s Day plans. However, she’s just revealed to me that it’s going to be a barbeque. Of course I kindly reminded her that it’s still February and we still live in Heaton, but then didn’t really know how to let down gently a girl whose logical argument was ‘No, no, they have barbeques at CHRISTMAS in Australia.’

Bless. Thankfully Sam stepped in with the necessary explanations and he’s so attractive when he gets all intellectual so I just smiled and nodded and revelled in my gloriously tanned beauty…

Leta Bernhoeft Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

24.listings18-23February

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Listings Editor: Sally Priddle

Monday

Science and Religion 7.30pm Fenwick Room, Castle Leazes

David Wilkinson, Principal of St John’s College Durham, scientist and theologian, and contributor to Radio 4 Thought for the Day, will speak and answer questions at a launch event for a new local group of Christians in Science.

Kaiser Chiefs 7pm o2 Academy

Leeds born and bred, this rock act is known for their fantastic and limitless performances, showing you why they have continued to have critical and chart success over the years.

Why not work up a sweat and rock out this Monday.

Tickets £28 available from o2 Academy’s box office and website.

Tuesday

Les Ballet Trockadero de Monte 19-20 February, 7pm Theatre Royal

Ballet’s very grandes dames are back returning with a fantastic programme, a lorry load of costume changes and lashings of diva attitude.

With one foot in farce and the other in classical ballet, this is one hilarious night out not to missed!

One thing’s guaranteed: parody or pirouette, the Trocks will knock your socks off with their bravura mix of fun and fancy footwork.

Tickets from £29 available from Theatre Royal’s box office and website.

Wednesday Give It A Go: Comedy

1.30pm-5pm History Room, Students’ Union

The Comedy Society is inviting you to attend an improvisation workshop welcoming you to the world of comedy. The society will teach you to work from set games and premises while taking the content from the audience and working with certain suggestions to get the laughter flowing. Your sides will be splitting and your cheeks aching after this afternoon of fun.

Tickets available from the Students’ Union Activities Corridor with £1 deposit.

Eros and Psyche 7pm Northern Stage

Tom Stade Live

7pm The Stand Comedy Club

Direct from his smash-hit run at the Edinburgh festival, join this “part devil, part dude” as he shares his refreshingly laid-back and unconventional ethos on life; playfully leading audiences into a world where there are no boundaries, and anything goes.

Tickets £15 available from The Stand’s website or box office.

Merging myth, fairytale and raucous Greek philosophy - performance storyteller Sally Pomme Clayton undresses the myth of Eros and Psyche to ask ‘what is the path of love?’

Tickets from £7 available from Northern Stage website or box office

Thursday

OneHourOneDJ 7-10pm Nancy’s Bordello

Region’s first dedicated Drum and Bass awards ceremony, featuring entertainment from some of the local scene’s DJ talent. You can expect acceptance speeches worthy of the Oscars, homemade awards and some good laughs.

Categories include best local event, best new producer and the baffling but contentious “best pasty.” This event is open to everybody so if you’re a fan of drum and bass, baked goods and general silliness, get yourself down to Nancy’s.

Listen live to the event and help support your local community radio by listening to NE1fm on 102.5FM and www.ne1fm.net/listen

Princess Ida

7.30pm Royal Grammar School

Twenty years ago, neighbouring kings Hildebrand and Gama eased a tense diplomatic situation by marrying their infant children to each other.

Now, when the Prince Hilarion and Princess Ida are to be reunited, Ida has abandoned her father’s court to form a women’s university.

However Hilarion, undeterred, sets out for Castle Adamant himself to claim his promised bride and win her affections by any means necessary – up to and including dressing up as one of her students.

The Courier

18-23Februarylistings.25

Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Listings

Friday

Gruffalo’s Child 22-23 February, 2am Theatre Royal

The Gruffalo said that no Gruffalo should ever set foot in the deep dark wood...

One wild and windy night the Gruffalo’s Child ignores her father’s warning and tiptoes out into the snow. After all, the Big Bad Mouse doesn’t really exist... does he?

Tall Stories Theatre Company returns, bringing Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s award-winning sequel to life in this magical, musical adaptation.

Tickets from £11 available from Theatre Royal’s website or box office.

Girls Aloud Live 7pm, 21-23 MetroRadio Arena

The girls are back! All five of them, together.

All the classics, you can sing and dance along and remember why they are one of the best acts to ever come out of a talent competition.

This show should not be missed.

Tickets from £37.50 available from MetroRadio Arena’s box office and website.

Event of the week Something Chortle Student for the Awards weekend 21Comedy February, 7.30pm Lawson

23 February, 7pm o2 Academy

With their debut album soaring into the charts at No. 4 and following the incredible success of three previous sell-out tours, Lawson are back with the Chapman Square Tour.

Tickets £16 available from o2 academy’s website or box office.

Live Comedy with: JoJo Smith, John Scott and Phil Butler 23 February, 7pm The Hyena Comedy Club

Perfect light entertainment for a Saturday night.

Tickets £12 available from The Hyena’s website or box office.

Venue, Students’ Union

The Chortle Student Comedy Award is a national search of the UK’s universities to find the ‘funniest student.

Some notable newcomers who have featured in the final include Lloyd Langford, Chris Ramsey, Nathan Caton, Joe Lycett, Friday Night Dinner star Tom Rosenthal and The Inbetweeners star Simon Bird.

Fourteen heats are being held across the UK, followed by two semi-finals and a final at the Pleasance in Edinburgh.

There, the winner will take home £2,000 - with £500 for the runner-up. And, more importantly, the kudos of succeeding in one of Britain’s most respected comedy competitions.

This is your chance to see some of the funniest people in the area at work (some of which are Newcastle students themselves). So if you have nothing to do on a Thursday night brighten up with the cream of up and coming crop of comedy.

Radio Show of the week: Essentially unessential

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are most welcome to tune in and listen to Essentially Unessential hosted by Emil Franchi and Michael Cowperthwaite.

Providing the light at the end of the Monday tunnel, Mike and Emil will be on hand to get you through that last bit of work or maybe even that first beverage of a long night ahead. However you spend your Monday afternoon, they are happy to join you for a small part of your day.

Now in its second year, Essentially Unessential returns to NSR in 2013 bigger and better than ever with a great mixture of music from the popular to simply odd choices.

Mondays 4pm to 5.45pm

When do you tune in?

CCTV Carol Ann Duffy: An evening with the Poet Laurette 11pm-3.30am Northern Stage

Alongside the performance of Rapunzel at Northern Stage, writer and Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy reads from her award-winning poetry collections on the set of the unique show of Rapunzel, which is accompanied by the music of John Sampson.

Carol Ann Duffy writes for children and adults and has won the Whitbread Prize, the Forward Prize and the T S Eliot Prize for her poetry. Her latest award-winning collection is The Bees. She was appointed Poet Laureate in 2009.

This is your chance to see the woman herself and hear her poetry how it was meant to be read.

Tickets from £10 available from Northern Stage’s box office and website.

23 February, 11pm Venue, Students’ Union Need I say more?

Fuckwits

24 February, 1pm The Stand Comedy Club

Live panel show madness returns, hosted by the King of the Fuckwits, Simon Donald.

Two teams of top comics compete to complete tea break teasers, clueless crosswords, spot the difference with a difference and a wordsearch to leave you truly lost for words.

Like a cross between Dictionary Corner and Eggheads, this panel are Dickheads.

Fuckwits is currently in development with the BBC, so come along and be the first to see this fuckwitted show before anyone else.

Tickets £5 available from The Stand’s box office, website or on the door.

Something free: Homemade Jam

Thursday 21 February, 8pm MensBar, Students’ Union

MensBar’s open mic night Homemade Jam is back! The standard rules apply: turn up, listen and play. It’s as simple as that – anyone is welcome, everyone that enters gets a free bottle and the best of the night will win a bottle of bubbly. MensBar’s own ‘Mind Over Matter’ real ale will be on sale for just £2.50 a bottle.

Something to look forward to: Newcastle’s Dance Society presents ‘Hot Pants and High Tops’ 8-9 March, 2pm and 7.30pm Northern Stage

Come along to see the annual extravaganza that the society offers, with pieces in a variety of styles from contemporary to hip-hop. Suitable for all the family, there’s something to suit everyone in this diverse and exciting display of dance. Programme proceeds go to the worthy cause of Medecins Sans Frontieres, so please come and show your support for this incredible charity. With guest performances, live music and some serious talent on show, ‘Hot Pant and High Tops’ is a performance not to be missed.

Tickets £6 on sale at the Northern Stage or outside the Union

26.arts

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editors: Grace Harvey

Rapunzel, let down your red hair...

Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt talked to balletLorent’s artistic director Liv Lorent about her take on the famous fairy tale Avoiding an existential crisis on a sluggish Sunday morning “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” (Ernest Hemingway) ome students will wake up next Sunday morning feeling glum and without reason to pull their bodies out of bed; this is prime time for one to experience an existential crisis.

The hangover and stale cigarette breath generates a sensation of self-loathing and the rhythmic sounds of mid-morning sex coming from your flatmate’s room will almost certainly make you feel desperately lonely. As you gaze at the sluggish grey sky outside your window, will you consider making your university life just that little bit more meaningful? Self-reflection is an important aspect of a healthy mind, but on occasions an outer inspiration is needed and you may just find that inspiration in this very arts column; read on and you will find two wholesome hints on how to make your next week a little more exciting.

S

Creative writing is a way of expression that can be a blissful therapy. You may have once attempted brokenhearted poetry, hidden in a diary underneath your bed at home - written back in those ancient days of being a teenager. Though it is easy to scoff at our early attempts of emotionally excessive ramblings, poetry and prose is a way of understanding our surroundings and inner thoughts. In Newcastle there are already well-established and friendly organizations to help people realize their lust for the play of words. The university’s creative writing society runs workshops every Thursday evening at 6pm in the Bedson Teaching Centre.

These sessions are delightful and nearly always end with a visit to a pub for cultured conversation. The Writers Café, Fiction Burn and JibberJabba are local organizations that also hold exciting literary events; often within trendy places like Bar Loco, Blake’s Café and the Trent House. If you wish to take it, there is a wealth of opportunity to become immersed in an active literary scene and every chance to develop as a creative writer.

Do you want to become more conscious about contemporary world issues? Check out the Newcastle Food Co-operative and do more to help fight the inequalities of the broken international food system. The group is focused on providing ethical food for no profit, but it also acts as a fantastic alternative social hub. Generally you can find them in the basement of the Student Union on Tuesdays and Fridays between 10am to 3pm.

From February 18th to the 22nd they are holding ‘Go Green Week’, in which presentations, swapshops and an outrageous party will be held. They are always on the search for new members and will welcome you with open arms. The co-op is perhaps the best-kept secret in our University.

The worst that can happen is that you may buy a bag of delicious organic muesli.

The solution to your existential crisis is simple, but somewhat strange. Express yourself; write creatively and make sure to join those hippy kids down at the Food-Cooperative. It’s a faultless ‘one shoe fits all’ policy to take you away from that horrendous grey time that so often haunts the proverbial student lifestyle, especially in February. Though we don’t like to admit it, lying in our beds and streaming The IT Crowd on our halfbroken laptops will not fill that void.

James Ricketts

T

he task of re-interpreting a world famous, much beloved classic tale is possibly one of the most challenging for any artist, regardless of whether they are an author, painter, or musician.

It will inevitably be compared with other adaptations and scrutinised for its ability to capture the special ‘spark’ that makes the original so popular whilst being expected to add an unique edge of itself without completely distorting the story- a tricky undertaking indeed that has often failed in the past (only think of the appalling ‘Beauty and the Beast’ wannabe teen drama romance Beastly).

Fortunately, the balletLorent artistic director Liv Lorent didn’t cave in to the pressures and managed to turn the Grimm Brothers’s famous fairy tale Rapunzel into balletLorent’s biggest and one of its most successful productions yet.

As with every of her productions, Lorent explains that Rapunzel ‘comes from a little bit of an autobiographical perspective’ and that she would have produced the ballet with or without the help of the illustrious group of collaborators she worked with, including actress Lesley Sharp as the narrator, composer and Dr Who musical director Murray Gold, and Carol Ann Duffy, playwright and current Poet Laureate who provided her own version of the tale for the production.

Her re-telling of the story is a darker, more ‘adult’ version of the fairy tale that is closer to the original story by the Grimm Brothers, addressing issues such as loneliness, sexual tensions and the longing for a child; the tale is ‘exceptionally explicit about wanting to have a family’ says Lorent and stresses how it is most of all a women’s story, evolving around its female characters. She further explains how Carol Ann Duffy is ‘very definitely a female writer’ and that she loves ‘the way she writes because it’s explicit but plain… it really kind of gets to the point’, describing her writing style as earthy: ‘It’s not delicate, it’s kind of real and has its feet on the ground, it has this I suppose Northern grit about it’.

Despite the piece’s edgy, slightly gloomy character and the Tim-Burton-esque stage and costume design, it is equally aimed at children and adults, and its premiere run at the Durham Gala Theatre proved that it can be enjoyed by three generations alike. According to Lorent, the production works well due to the different levels of understanding the story; whilst children might view the opening scene as a joyous festival with balloons and ribbons, the grown-ups will spot the lonely childless adults on stage watching the events. ‘It’s about

injecting the whole story with a lot more of emotional credibility… it all depends on your experience’ she says.

Apart from being a crowd pleaser and children’s favourite, the company works with children and teenagers for several scenes of the performance.

Lorent, who also choreographed the production, describes working with children as both a challenge and a pleasant experience, especially the involvement of local children in every town where Rapunzel is performed which makes every show more individual in her opinion.

Given the success of Rapunzel, balletLorent is establishing itself as one of the leading contemporary dance companies in the country whose unique visual richness – ‘romantic, but never sweet, with a million props’ – continues to wow audiences. Hoping to maintain long-term collaborations with Carol Ann Duffy and Rapunzel’s other contributors, Lorent claims that further large scale productions are definitely on the agenda, not least because of the company’s openminded dancers. Re-imagining another fairy tale is also a possibility. Fairy tales speak of something ‘that we can connect to, something that makes us think: I’m not the only one in the world who feels like that’. photos by Bill Cooper; see right page for the preview or visit www.thecourieronline.co.uk/arts

Who said the Brits weren’t cultured?

From Newcastle to London, Charlotte Valletta takes a look at what the world of arts has to offer this year

W

e all breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the world didn’t end last December and you’ll be even more grateful after this sneak peak at the year ahead.

Newcastle There are a number of exciting exhibitions taking place this year; perhaps the most eagerly anticipated opens at the Hatton Gallery this month, Ed Ruscha: ARTISTS ROOMS on Tour. The exhibition spans the artist’s 40-year career and the work on display showcases some of the best examples of his ironic take on American life. Well worth a look. The Laing also has an interesting lineup, including a solo show by Newcastle’s own Nick Kennedy, Timecasting (18 Feb - 19 May). Don’t forget to keep an eye on the smaller local galleries that hold wonderful little exhibitions.

But maybe art isn’t your thing, in which case, The Stand have their usual impressive schedule which this year includes a new show: Steffen Peddie’s Chat Show Thing, confirmed guests include local hero Chris Ramsey.

Or perhaps the circus is more up your street?

Perfect, given that the Netherlands National Circus is coming to the Town Moor (23 Aug - 2 Sept).

They’re sure to amaze given that their sensational acrobatics, trapeze and illusion acts are among the best in the world.

The North East Only a few metro stops away, Sunderland has a number of trump cards up their sleeve and is definitely not somewhere overlook this year. Empire Theatre is hosting The Rocky Horror Show (18 - 23 Feb); sexy and scandalous it’s bound to cause a

stir. The Sage takes on the more classic West Side Story (4 - 7 July), which is sure to delight. There’s also a fabulous array of talks and performances connected with West Side Story in the run-up to the production.

Sunderland’s Museum & Winter Gardens is playing host to Grayson Perry this summer. The six tapestries that make up The Vanity of Small Differences weave a heartfelt tale of British social classes. Sunderland kick starts the exhibition’s UK tour, apt given that the city and its people inspired two of the tapestries.

National Exhibitions nationwide include Frieze Art Fair (London), The Turner Prize (Northern Ireland) and the first major retrospective of David Bowie’s career at the V&A (London). For the literary fans, speakers already announced for The Hay

festival in Wales (23 May - 2 June) include John le Carré, Carl Bernstein and Dara O’Briain. September also sees the opening of Birmingham’s eagerly awaited new City Library.

For those of you who found an e-reader in their stockings this Christmas there are sure to be plenty of new reads in the pipeline to get your hands on. One for the boys, William Boyd will to take on Ian Fleming with his new James Bond novel, and for the girls, Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones is stepping into a new decade. Exciting stuff. August sees the global publication of The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon, the first in a seven part fantasy series set to rival The Hunger Games. Stephen King’s September release is bound to cause a stir as well; 36 years after The Shining, horror fans will be clamouring to find out what happened to Danny Torrance, the young survivor of the Overlook Hotel in Dr. Sleep. John le Carré, Alexander McCall Smith and Khaled Hosseini are also sure to top best-seller lists with their new novels.

The Courier

arts.27

Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_arts

previews

Spotlight on...

Spirit of the Dance Theatre Royal 21 - 23 February

A

ward winning Irish dance show, Spirit of the Dance, returns to Newcastle’s Theatre Royal later this week and just in time for St Patrick’s.

Having won more awards than any other dance production, Spirit of the Dance is truly a dance spectacle like no other.

Created and composed by the visionary David King, Spirit of the Dance guarantees to leave your heart pounding and feet tapping, with outstanding choreography and sumptuous costumes positioned amongst alluring sets.

Renowned for its unbelievable traditional precision coupled with its innovative decadence, Spirit of the Dance features only the handpicked finest dancers from across the industry. The show uniquely combines the thunder of traditional Irish dance with the passion and charisma of Flamenco and Salsa, as well as dynamic tap and jazz performances throughout the evening.

Spirit of the Dance is an unbelievable explosion of culture and dance bursting at the seams with ingenuity and style, and their performance in the heart of the city promises a spectacle. It might be a cliché, but this is without doubt one performance not to be missed.

Spirit of the Dance has consistently racked up box office records after being performed in over twenty countries to an audience of over thirty million people, and given their current troop its hardly surprising why.

Tickets are from £18. 50 and can be purchased from the Theatre Royal Box Office on 08448 11 21 21 or online at www.theatreroyal.co.uk Grace Harvey

Les Ballets Trockadero

Rapunzel

f there is one particular form of dance that is cliché-laden like no other, it is certainly ballet. Thanks to many a misinformed comedian and TV programme that exclusively focuses on little aspiring ballerinas with big dreams and even bigger eyes, it is frequently portrayed (and perceived) as unnecessarily highbrow and overly dramatic, full of glitter, tulle and fairy tale princesses, very pink and generally a thing for ‘girls’.

A company that takes all of these clichés to the extreme and tops them with an extra portion of sequins and fabulousness are the world-famous Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, an allmale American dance group that re-interprets and parodies popular ballets from Giselle to Swan Lake. Affectionately known as the ‘queens of classical ballet’ or simply ‘The Trocks’, the talented dancers, who aren’t afraid to perform in tutus and have mastered the art of dancing in pointe shoes, guarantee a night full of bright colours, comedy and virtuous dancing that ballet aficionados and even the most cynical amongst us will equally enjoy. Having the company basically ‘on our doorstep’ in Newcastle is a unique chance, so grab your tickets and keep trockin’ on!

Lisa Bernhardt

apunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair’ is without a doubt one of the most famous lines from a fairy tale that has made it into popular culture.

The story of the fair maid Rapunzel who is locked in a tower owes most of its fame to its adaptation by the Brothers Grimm and has been interpreted countless times since, the Pixar film Tangled (2010) being only one example.

What most of us don’t know is that, originally, Rapunzel is not just another romantic ‘girl waits for her prince on a white horse’ fairy tale, but a story ridden by themes of sexual jealousy, revenge and illegitimate pregnancy that provide the foundation of Newcastle dance company balletLorent’s new production. Based on a new version of the classic tale written by playwright and poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy, Artistic Director Liv Lorent explains how the company’s take on the story aims at ‘telling an older, slightly darker version, more akin to its Grimm tale origins... a part of the story which is usually neglected’.

It promises to be a delightful evening and a chance to re-discover a fairy tale favourite from a totally new perspective.

Lisa Bernhardt

I

Theatre Royal 19 - 20 February

R

Northern Stage 21 - 23 February

reviews

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Live Theatre 21 February - 17 March

hite Rabbit, Red Rabbit is an original and intriguing creation by playwright Nassim Soleimanpour who has been barred from leaving his home country, Iran. He has made the best of his situation of isolation and has devised a play that requires no director, no set and a different actor for each performance. Furthermore, the actors will arrive on stage without ever having seen the script.

There are a huge number of well-known actors who will be performing in this production at the Live Theatre. Performers confirmed so far include, actors Chris Connel (The Pitmen Painters), John Hodgkinson (A Walk on Part), Laura Norton (Faith and Cold Reading), Shaun Prendergast (Emmerdale), Charlie Hardwick (Emmerdale), Amy McAllister (Call the Midwife), Hywel Morgan (A Walk on Part), Nitin Kundra (Emmerdale), Tracy Whitwell (Playing The Field), poet Degna Stone, writers Stella Duffy and Shelagh Stephenson and Newcastle’s very own comedian, Sarah Millican.

Each actor is given a sealed envelope on stage, containing the previously unseen script, which they will then perform. To preserve the sense of mystery and intrigue, the audience will also be asked to keep the details of the play secret.

This play sounds exciting and spontaneous and is selling-out fast so buy your tickets early to avoid disappointment.

Milli Atkinson

Poison

Princess Ida

White Rabbit, Red Rabbit

I

Jesmond Royal Grammar School 22 - 23 February

t’s that time of year again, when Newcastle University’s Gilbert and Sullivan Society take to the stage to perform one of the theatrical partnership’s famous productions.

For those of you who are unsure as to what a ‘Gilbert and Sullivan’ entails, this celebrated duo are renowned worldwide for their light-hearted comic operas - but don’t let the mention of ‘opera’ put you off ! For this year’s performance, NUGSS are presenting a rendition of Princess Ida. Based on Alfred Tennyson’s poem, The Princess, Princess Ida centres upon the tale of a princess who founds a women’s university. The university teaches with the philosophy that men are subordinate to women: “Woman, educated to the task, can meet Man, face to face, on his own ground, and beat him there!” However, complications arise as the princess is betrothed, from birth, to Prince Hilarion, who sets off on a quest with two friends to collect his wife. Through a clever infusion of satire on women’s education, male chauvinism and crossdressing, the play climaxes with a literal battle of the sexes. Celebrating their 60th anniversary last year, NUGSS is back in force once again, so for anyone in pursuit of an entertaining and humorous performance - look no further! Princess Ida is set to be an unmissable production.

Izzy Granger

The Suggestibles The Stand 11 February

Northern Stage 8 February

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an Fang’s play Poison looks at issues surrounding a contemporary Chinese family. From dishonesty, illness and marriage to the afterlife, tensions arise in a variety of forms, leaving the audience feeling that their family is remarkably normal in comparison!

The play translates well into English and the plot can be imagined in any 21st century family, which makes it relatable and an easy watch, as the characters display familiar personality traits. However, I am afraid my companion fell asleep and I was terminally bored throughout the two-hour long act. The actors read from scripts and remained sitting for the duration of the play, making the performance dull and static. This did not matter too much, however, because the seating arrangement meant that only the front row could actually see the actors. The highlights of the evening were the father’s, played by Binwu Li, comical outbursts of song and the daughter in law’s (Fanrui Shan) compelling acting. Considering the cast and production team were made up entirely of Newcastle University Language students, the play was well translated and the actors gave believable performances as empathy was felt for different characters at different stages. However, Wan Fang’s darkly emotional play was seriously let down by the mediocre production.

Beatrice Walker

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his dynamic, fast-paced show keeps you on your toes as the comedians take you through different sketches and songs that result in an all-round fun evening. Audience participation is controlled and optional, but you feel encouraged to join in and become a part of the team. Bev is a firm favourite and stands well as the only female in the team of six, each of whom bring their own diverse characters to the mix which creates a vibrant show brimming with different accents, role-plays, and scenarios.

In parts it becomes reminiscent of drama class warm-ups with improv situations and ‘freeze!’ sketches that largely rely on stereotypes, however, an enticing and by far their best sketch is placed before the interval to qualm any thoughts of leaving. Unexpectedly, there was a serious lack of shocking content, both sexually and politically; although refreshingly clean, this is possibly a detriment to the show as dirt can always guarantee a laugh! With a relaxed atmosphere it’s the perfect place to bring a date if you think you might need someone else to break the ice with a few jokes, and there is the added bonus of being able to vet your date on their suggestions to the comedians in the enjoyable, relaxed atmosphere The Stand Comedy Club has to offer- including the restaurant upstairs with its seductively delicious food...

Beatrice Walker

28.musicreviews

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Music Editors: Sam Summers and Chris Haywood Online Music Editor: Sophie Coletta

How to Buy...

Push The Sky Away

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Shoegaze

A With My Bloody Valentine making a long awaited comeback, Kate Bennett offers tips on getting into the ‘scene that celebrates itself ’...

For Beginners:

My Bloody Valentine Loveless (1991) From the screeching and grinding dissonance of opening track ‘Only Shallow’ to the hazy, Madchester-esque album closer ‘Soon’, Loveless is fifty minutes of shoegaze perfection; it’s been said that the album killed the genre, because everybody else heard it and promptly gave up. It takes a couple of listens to adjust to the sound, simultaneously vast and claustrophobic, beautiful and grating. Some tracks are heavy and chugging, while others waver dreamily in and out of focus. ‘Sometimes’ has a decent claim to being the most devastatingly beautiful song ever written. Shields and Butcher’s gentle vocals float on the maelstrom of distortion and fuzz throughout, on the verge of drowning but never going under.

fter 2004’s Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus, Nick Cave and a couple of Bad Seeds decided to drop the melancholic melodies and just go all out aggressive with their side project, Grinderman. This, in turn, led to the more garage rock-focused Bad Seeds album Dig, Lazarus Dig!!! which, despite the big shift from the sound of The Lyre of Orpheus – you can hear the beginnings of this move to a rockier sound in Abattoir Blues – was critically acclaimed. Push The Sky Away can be best described as a shift back to their old ways. It is also the first album without Mick Harvey, who was fed up of the band playing ‘stupid rock songs’; it is arguably this which was the influence behind this shift to the more melodic intricacies The Bad Seeds are most known for.

As always, the stars of the show here are the lyrics.

Drenched with pathos, Cave tackles the usual topics of love, death, religion and life itself. Nowhere else can you hear an album that will reference both legendary blues guitarist Robert Johnson and Miley Cyrus. Cave leads you through these stories with some extremely intricate imagery particularly with lyrics such as “I was the match that would fire up her snatch”, something that he has always done so well. It seems like Cave sees no point in just singing about such topics without making you picture those topics in action.

The melodies themselves are always bubbling away in the background. From the rumbling bass of ‘We Real Cool’ to the repetitive finger picking in ‘Finishing Jubilee Street’, it lets Nick Cave’s vocals ride to the forefront. Still, the strings and brass do fight to find the light, bursting through intermit-

tently, only really coming to the forefront in an explosive way such as at the end of ‘Jubilee Street’.

This continuous struggle adds even more depth to the tension in the lyrics themselves; brooding in the background menacingly or exploding with an exciting beauty to hint at some hope or joy.

Push The Sky Away is odd and much subtler than

It’s by no means the easiest Bad Seeds album to get into, but it is worth the effort anything that has come before it, but this subtlety does not remove its ferocity. Cave wears his influences on his sleeve, with ‘Higgs Boson Blues’ feeling like a lost Allen Ginsberg poem. It’s by no means the easiest Bad Seeds album to get into but when the subtle melodies click alongside the interesting lyrics, it works much better, becoming almost cinematic – unsurprising considering Nick Cave’s recent foray into the film world. It's worth the effort but it does take some time to really hook onto it. As with most of their albums, however, you’ll probably need to listen to some Deee-Lite afterwards to cheer yourself up.

Recommended download: ‘We No Who ‘U ‘R’ Chris Taylor

Leonard Cohen Songs of Leonard Cohen

There’s a distinct polish to Cohen’s first record, whose spare arrangements don’t detract from the dark thrall of his lyrics and his dry and emotive vocals; instead, it draws out their thoughtful beauty.

MBV

You’re Nothing

Torres

My Bloody Valentine

Iceage

For Experts:

If you like this, try ...

Torres

Ride Nowhere (1990) Arguably the most influential British band of the last 25 years, Ride’s seminal debut Nowhere can be heard in almost every British indie band of the '90s, from big-hitters Oasis to largely-forgotten Jocasta - as well as a host of current so-called ‘nu-gaze’ artists such as Yuck.

The eight songs on Nowhere make for vaguely unsettling listening. Sweetly layered vocal harmonies, airy drums and shimmering guitar lines sit uncomfortably with the often-ominous lyrical content, sequences of ear-splitting noise and a background of persistent distortion, giving the album the dysfunctional, elusive quality of a nightmare that ends on a high with mournful but strangely uplifting final track ‘Vapour Trail’.

For The Bin:

Slowdive Pygmalion (1995)

Slowdive’s Pygmalion shows a genre in its death-throes. Previously a mainstay of shoegaze with their albums Just ForA Day and Souvlaki, Pygmalion sees Slowdive throwing melody, rhythm, lyrics, recognisable instruments – all those things that, y’know, make a song - right out of the window. In their place are fifty-odd minutes of ambient, New Agey crap, the kind of thing they put on in those shops that sell windchimes and make your hair smell of patchouli for the next two hours. Music snobs will pretend to like Pygmalion so that they can feel smug, but everyone else will rightly deride it as weird and boring. The only song worth bothering with is ‘Visions of La’, and you can get that off iTunes.

D

A

“D

Recommended download: ‘In Haze’

Recommended download: ‘In Another Way’

Recommended download: ‘Waterfall’

anish punks Iceage open their sophomore album with the one-two punch of buzz-toned recent single ‘Ecstasy’ and its straight-up hardcore B-side ‘Coalition’, followed by a short, ominous interlude as though they’re granting you a short breather before ‘Burning Hand’ kicks off twenty more minutes of their tunefully searing punk rock.

You’re Nothing sees the band as preoccupied as ever with violence, insecurity and decay, though they’ve added sexual frustration to their list of grievances this time around that are drawn out

by Ronnenfelt’s vocals that sound as though he’s spent the last two years gargling broken glass.

Bassist Jakob Pless is featured more prominently, his crunchy, frenetic playing style reminiscent of the best Black Flag basslines ,while guitarist Johan Wiethe ramps up the energy, blending thrashy speed-metal chords with jangly, hyperactive indie riffs, at his finest on the riotous ‘In Haze’. As on their 2011 debut New Brigade, the band show their range in tempering more complex songs with blistering sub-two minute hardcore tracks.

There’ll be the inevitable hunt for signs the band have ‘matured’ since New Brigade. Production is better, so that You’re Nothing sounds more solid than its often flat-sounding predecessor, and there are signs of experimentation, too, particularly on piano-accented, militaristic central track ‘Morals’ and in the apocalyptic spoken word passage at the end of ‘Awake’.

All in all, You’re Nothing presents a band that have grown in confidence and experience, pushing and fine-tuning their sound but losing none of the fierce, scrappy insolence that won us over in the first place.

Kate Bennett

h, My Bloody Valentine. Founders and perfecters of shoegaze, live shows that would temporarily deafen their audience, a classic album so good that they nearly bankrupted their record company to create it.

They then pissed off into thin air for around 22 years during which time visionary frontman Kevin Shields took on a mythical status among a certain section of music fans. Throughout the intervening years, trends towards shoegaze could sometimes be spotted around the edges of popular music, two steps away from a revival, before retreating back into the shadows.

Suddenly, there’s a new album. And it’s not bad.

It sounds like an MBV album. The hazy vocals, the layers upon layers of super-manipulated guitar work, the anti-grammatical song titles. Any of these tracks could fit perfectly onto their benchmark album Loveless - and here lies the issue. Loveless - and their debut as well - turned explorative noise into something hummable. Feedback that could get stuck in your head. Here there are no major breakthroughs or changes to their sound – although that is definitely a jet engine on the closing track – yet the melodies can take some effort to spot.

Repeated listening is strongly recommended, as more of the subtle details only start to shine through with time. When it’s good, it’s still good. ‘New You’ and ‘In Another Way’ are close to pop singles, while ‘Only Tomorrow’ sounds closest to their ‘trippy’ guitar roots.

‘If I Am’ even sounds like tipsy butterflies.

Perhaps it’s the decades of build-up that can sometimes make this album seem a little underwhelming, but MBV slowly reveals its hidden treasures.

Becca Price

o you ever get half way down and think, God, I never meant to jump at all.”

Recording under the name Torres, Mackenzie Scott leaps and takes us tumbling gracefully with her as she falls. Her winsome vocals send us spiralling down, majestically and emphatically, until finally we land, fully submerged in her music.

Scott’s first album, Torres, is a quaint yet prevailing accomplishment. Her voice is unique and exceedingly diverse, and at times it seems to shift into something completely different and unexpected.

In the lower registers her voice is husky, like she is whispering after having chain-smoked 20 cigarettes, but when she reaches higher tones it is as if she has transformed into a life breathing, other worldly apparition.

This is particularly evident in ‘Chains’, as she constantly pushes her voice forwards, wavering between registers, dipping beneath the waves before coming up to chant “my chains are gone,” until she is violently and allegorically cut off.

Largely written for her solo voice and electric guitar, the moments in which a small band is introduced are handled with care. Thudding loose timpani help to provide a cavernous depth to ‘Come To Terms’, whilst the same drums in ‘Honey’ help to drive Scott’s distorted vocals forwards and upwards, as she grows in size and power in her grief, shouting agitatedly at a lost loved one.

Listening to Scott is akin to squinting in the sunlight, or straining your eyes to see through dense fog, before stumbling upon some vast abyss with “nowhere to go but down”. Yet you happily take the leap with her, as the fall is perpetually beautiful.

Charlie Dearnley

The Courier

localmusic.29

Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

Last night a DJ saved my life

In this new feature, we meet a local DJ; this week, Music Editor Chris Haywood speaks to Andrew Hutchinson from Shake at theCUT What is the thinking behind Shake?

Shake started because we’d always said we had to put on a hip hop night. I DJ-ed at Dragnet (Saturday nights at theCUT) where we played disco and house and things like that; that was definitely a passion of mine, but I was always missing the hip hop and I always wanted a hip hop night.

There was nothing in town doing what we wanted to do. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of great hip hop nights in town, like ‘90s Hip Hop House Party, but they’re not regular. We wanted to be able to go out every week to a good place where you could hear good, credible hip hop, so that’s kind of why we started it.

We want to reach out to the most people in the city who are going to enjoy it. Not the most people full stop, but the most people who are gonna have a good time. I don’t want 2,000 people having an average time, I want 300 having a fantastic time.

How did you want people to see Shake?

For me, the fun aspects are the most important. I knew it was a Wednesday night, so it was a tough night. The only nights that work on a Wednesday are like rugby nights, and sports nights, things like that - which are fine, but it’s not our thing. So I wanted it to be fun, but I wanted the branding to be right. I mean, I’d never really ran a club before, and I thought, ‘what would I want?’ I wouldn’t want, you know, loads of tattoos and guns at a hip hop night. I’d want something clean and simple.

What soundtrack did you set out to have at Shake?

I believe that if I play music that I love, there’ll be lots of other people who love that music. So, when I was young, in 2003 when I was in college, The Libertines and all these indie bands were a big thing.

I liked that music, but at the same time I was also listening to Illmatic, and loads of great hip hop albums. At the same time, The Neptunes were huge, which possibly defines the sound of Shake. I kept

Doors @ 11pm £5 (£4 NUS)

Shake at theCUT has to be the closest thing Newcastle has to the perfect night out.

If you feel that you’ve had your yearly allowance of David Guetta and don’t think you can take any more ‘Gangnam Style’, then I can’t recommend Shake enough. They describe the night as providing ‘party hip-hop’ and they certainly make good on their promise.

I would’ve put 99% of the playlist in the ‘impossible-not-to-dance-to’ category. From Beyoncé to Wu-Tang Clan, Sean Paul to Outkast, even throwing a bit of classic Justin Timberlake in there, from start to finish I couldn’t fault the playlist or the atmosphere. theCUT itself isn’t the fanciest of clubs. However, this means that there is no pretence to get dressed up or feel out of place, and with drinks from £1.50 it’s a night you can do on the cheap. I can definitely say I’m converted.

Jenny Thynne

thinking that I wanted to go to a club that plays this, but before we started Shake I’d never been to a club that played exactly what I’d wanted.

What do you enjoy playing most at Shake?

My favourite artists are people like Nas, Common and Rakim, and you get to play a bunch of that stuff early on. As you progress, I want to have a fun night myself, and I want other people to have a fun night, so we try and make it a good party.

Unknown Pleasures

No artist. No title.

No clue...

This week we gave Josh Nicholson The Flaming Lips’ sci-fi opus without telling him what it was

In reality, what songs define Shake?

DJ Kool’s ‘Let Me Clear My Throat’ is massive, as is Kelis and Andre 3000’s ‘Millionaire’ as well as Fatman Scoop. At the moment, A$AP Rocky’s ‘Fucking Problems’ that features Kendrick Lamar and Drake gets a really, really big reception. We’ve been playing ‘Backseat Freestyle’ by Kendrick Lamar quite a lot recently too, and that’s going down really well.

We just try and play tracks like that, that are really great but maybe won’t get played anywhere else.

At the beginning of the night I always try and play more stuff like that, maybe not ‘underground’ but definitely a bit more cooler stuff, a bit slower.

At the end of the day though, I want people to get on the floor; I have the most fun when people are on the floor, having a good time.

What are you listening to at the moment? good kid, m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar is by far the best thing that’s come out in ages, I think it’s brilliant. Kendrick Lamar or Frank Ocean? Frank Ocean’s album’s great, but I go back to Kendrick a lot more. Frank Ocean’s brilliant though and I play ‘Pyramids’ a lot but I don’t think enough people know it although the people who do seem to really enjoy it when it’s on.

In one sentence, why should people visit Shake?

To shake their ass.

Mixtape Volume Two Shake

When you’re a bit low on cash, it’s a bit daunting paying the entry fee to a club if you aren’t quite sure what you’re going to get inside. Most people, in this case, just go to Sinners.

Luckily the folks at Shake have made some mixtapes to give a sample of the regular tunes that fill theCUT on a Wednesday night. The first is available on Soundcloud, but to get hold of the new one you need to pick up a loyalty card on your way in and, after three visits, you can get a copy of the mixtape. It features a mix of contemporary hip hop such as A$AP Rocky and Roots Manuva, classic R&B in the form of Brandy, and a trip to the old school with Notorious BIG and Snoop Dogg (sorry, Lion. Whatever.)

It’s an hour long taster, full of reasons why you should just part with your money on a Wednesday night.

Chris Taylor

The scheme in brief:

Pick up a loyalty card next time you're at Shake.

After three visits, your loyalty will be rewarded with Mixtape Volume Two.

Stream Mixtape Volume One:

www.soundcloud.com/shake-newcastle

The Flaming Lips

Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots (2002)

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tarting with a round of applause, I thought that either this was a live album, or the writer loves himself a little bit too much. How wrong I was. A very soft male vocal arrives with a very soothing backing with hints of synth. The lyrics seem to favour a sci-fi theme which is just a little bit odd. It’s almost as though the writer has had some form of missed childhood and is singing about his imaginary robot friend ‘Yoshimi’ or something.

The theme is constant throughout and the electro-funk influences become heavier and heavier.

It’s all a bit much for me. One track consists entirely of robot noises and cymbals crashing. ‘That’s not music’, I think to myself.

Track 5 [‘In The Morning Of The Magicians’] is a seven minute long synth riff with some bluesy drums, and I pray that this can only mean good things. But wait, then it goes into a nice fairy-tale type break and... oh no, there is it again, the world is going to die at the hands of robots with a single note riff. Brilliant. That’s exactly what I want to hear from an album: that Earth will eventually be invaded by an alien planet and we will die.

I give up hope half way through the album due to the monotonous drone of the one note electronic moan throughout every song. It’s dull, simple and making me tired, something which could be seen as both a positive and a negative. Maybe that’s the aim, to be calming and nice to listen to, or just boring. With the same drum patterns and the same type of whining about the universe and the same type of production…You see where I’m going with this. Pointless for any purpose, you should probably listen whilst high on some form of hard drugs.

It might make more sense when you see your pink elephants. It’s not party music, it’s not chart music, its not really anything.

For all those bad points though there is something nice about this album. It’s soothing to know that we aren’t going to die from the recession or a solar flare, but that another race will come and get us and rule over us. Also, the album is quite calming and life assuring in amongst the monotony.

There is a message that you should probably look after yourself now because the inevitable will happen. Life lessons from a sci-fi geek: wonders will never cease. Those who enjoy this I applaud you and your dedication to the sciences and every conspiracy theory going. For now I will sleep well in the knowledge that robots can’t even move without the help of humans at the minute, let along take over the world.

The Courier

musicfeatures.31

Monday 18 February 2013

Banned from the band

In today’s unstable economic climate, even the UK’s biggest pop bands are going to need to downsize. Music Editor Sam Summers assembles a panel of experts to discuss which members we’re looking to make redundant...

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1 One Direction

While it was unanimously agreed straight off the bat that Harry is bulletproof, the rest of the boys were each in very real danger. Despite his air of unbearable smugness – and the fact that he seems to have asked his hairdresser for ‘a Pepé Le Pew’ – Zayn is from Bradford, and it is common knowledge that everyone from Bradford is lovely. Niall, meanwhile, was given a free pass as the obligatory Irish diversity hire.

The point was made that every boy band needs someone with a shaved head who looks faintly like he would punch you, but it’s clear that newlybald Liam didn’t quite hit the mark. His particular brand of skinhead is less ‘I was recently released from prison’ and more ‘I lost a bet on a drunken game of pool in Zante’.

As the panel were primed to get rid of Liam, it was pointed out that nobody had yet mentioned Louis, largely because his existence had been completely forgotten; one panellist thought that Louis and Liam were the same person. To reach a final decision we decided to bring the lads’ chest hair into consideration. While Louis in particular has a finely curated pectoral mane, and other members, such as Harry, flaunt their smoothness with dignity, it was discovered that Louis has nothing but a pathetic little tuft which he refuses to wax, desperately clinging to a single flimsy rag of maturity.

He had to go.

2 Little Mix Like the Spice Girls, Little Mix have been strategically engineered to have clear individual personalities. This is most apparent in the video for ‘Wings’; Perrie dances in front of a backdrop of flowers, and Jade in front of bowties, marking them out as Barbie Mix and Hipster Mix, respectively. Strangely, Jesy dances in front of boomboxes, while LeighAnne dances in front of graffiti. They both seem to vie for the title of Urban Mix, but there can be only one.

Of the two, Leigh-Anne is more able to survive on her own two feet. If we did kick her out, she could easily find work as a member of AlunaGeorge, or AlunaGeorgeLeigh-Anne as they’d be known. On the other hand, it is Leigh-Anne who contributed the original rap to the girls’ cover of

‘Super Bass’, and we didn’t have the heart to let her go after that. Jesy, meanwhile, took her experiences as a victim of bullying and turned them into a key lyrical theme for the band.

We didn’t want to get rid of either of them, but we definitely had to keep Jade and Perrie; South Shields natives, they secured the support of the Tyne & Wear Metro, long renowned as an X Factor kingmaker. Unwilling to part with any of the girls, but still desperately needing to cut down on expenditure, we decided to keep Jesy on as an unpaid intern. While we can’t afford to have her sing, she can act as a sort of mascot, like Hotdog from the Fast Food Rockers.

3 The Wanted It was surprisingly easy to argue for the safety of some of The Wanted.

Despite pulling off the ‘shaved and dangerous’ shtick to a frighteningly realistic degree, Max is clearly the best singer and the face of the group.

Jay has an unmistakable Jesus Christ Superstar vibe. Although Siva seems smug at first – according to one panellist he looks like he should work in Topman, silently judging the customers – he’s actually more of a Jolly Green Giant type – he in fact looks like he should work in a quarry, picking rocks up with his bare hands.

Nathan, however, was deemed too inoffensive to warrant a place in a band like The Wanted, a sort of man-boy who puts ketchup on everything and wears Velcro shoes. At the other end of the spectrum, Tom is a bit on the seedy side. Dubbed ‘Thomas the Wank Engine’ by fans, he has become notorious for changing the not-exactly-subtle-asit-is ‘Glad You Came’ to ‘Glad You Gushed’ during live shows. Crucially, when Tyler, The Creator tricked the band into thinking they were being arrested for kidnapping on Punk’d, it was Tom who burst into tears under interrogation. A top tier boy band has no room for those who buckle under pressure.

and even gave a sterling turn as a mentor on Rihanna’s seminal fashion program, Styled To Rock.

It was also decided that Cheryl Cole should be kept onboard, on account of her proud Geordie roots.

It was difficult to come up with a case against Kimberly, long considered to be the all-around nicest member, even despite Centre Stage, her recent solo ‘effort’ comprising a series of drab West End cover versions. Only Nadine and Sarah remained and, frankly, it was hard to decide which we’d kick out first.

Nadine is generally taken to be the dark force behind the Girls’ four year hiatus, and it’s easy to pick up at least a bit of animosity between her and the rest of the group. She’s the only one not pictured on their frequent slumber party twitpics, or on the glorious instagrams of the Girls doing the Mobot.

Sarah, meanwhile, has been a bit of a mess lately to say the least. In addition to her well-publicised stints in rehab, she recently appeared opposite noted cinematic terrorist Danny Dyer in Run For Your Wife, an impossibly cheerful ode to bigamy for which she also provided the theme tune. It’s not her best work.

Unable to come up with any properly brilliant four-piece girl groups – sorry, Little Mix – we decided to make them both redundant, and mould Cheryl/Kimberly/Nicola into a power trio, not unlike the Powerpuff Girls. Kimberly could be the blonde one who smiles a lot, Nicola could be the redhead who gets shit done, and Cheryl could be the dark haired one who hits people.

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4 Girls Aloud Firstly, it was made clear to the panel that all negative comments directed towards Nicola Roberts would be met with a swift slap across the chops, being that she put out easily the best solo album,

1

32.tvlistings

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

TV Editor: Chris Taylor Online TV Editor: Ben Parkin

Troopers of Telly

Matt Tate is back after a week off, probably spent learning about Africa, and waxing lyrical about the national treasure that is Sir David Attenborough... and fighting giraffes

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ands up if your 2013 highlights list thus far features a genuinely unbelievable televisual battle between two giraffes.

Hooves up, if by some freakish chance, you are in fact a giraffe and you are glad to finally be stealing some of the coveted animal limelight from your roary/swingy/chargey colleagues. If you do fit it into either of these categories, then the chances are you are indebted to Sir David Attenborough, who has been allowing us to see this stuff for over 60 years now.

I write this column as his latest series ‘Africa’ comes to an end, and I for one feel like a more complete person for being able to watch a horny rhino prowling the plains searching for a partner, only to realise an unfortunate fate not unfamiliar to men of every species. I am also grateful that I’ve seen a lizard with the Dutch courage to approach a grazing lion and actually scale its mane like an intrepid (and suicidal) mountaineer, just for a quick snack. I always thought lizards were rubbish, scaly little wimps. It’s not only Sir David that allows us to enjoy these forays into the wonderful world of nature, no, there are channels that dedicate their entire schedules to it. But Attenborough’s narrative style is now so synonymous with wildlife documentaries that he almost feels like the unofficial King of Animals.

His voice almost feels necessary to the spectacle, as a commentator’s does to football. I have often watched my dogs run into walls, or rolling in notfresh but recent enough fox poo, and longed for David’s voice to appear in thin air and makes sense of the whole stupid affair. If he told me that Labradors covering themselves in excrement was actually a sign of their rich pedigree and intelligence in the dog world, I would probably believe him. He gives wildlife that we would otherwise have little hope of understanding a personality, and I think that is really brilliant.

I saw him reveal in an interview not long ago that he has two or three more series coming out just this year! The man is a machine. He has seen it all. If he had one of those hipster scratch maps that they sell in Topshop or Urban Outfitters then he’d wear out the coin. And he is kind enough to let us all in on his amazing experiences.

A close friend of mine recently had a relative panic attack about the prospect of a world without David Attenborough and claimed somebody should record him saying every single word in the dictionary so we will always have his voice on TV. A slightly weird suggestion yes, but perhaps few would disagree.

Black Mirror

hen I envision the not-too-distant future, it’s a sea of four-year-old mothers, 80p Freddos and a load of hipsters listening to traphop-wankstep on the insides of their eyelids. Blue Ivy is president of America and Katie Price has been melted down and sold to the sex-toy industry.

For Charlie Brooker, part-time Guardian columnist, part-time Orwellian mastermind, last Monday’s dystopian vision explored the complexities of buying a real-life ginger blow-up doll that looks, acts and talks like your dead boyfriend based on a database of his online habits. After realising he

isn’t quite the real thing, you attempt to talk said boyfriend into jumping off a cliff before ultimately letting him reside in your attic whilst your daughter brings him the occasional slice of inedible cake.

Brooker satirised, mocked and chided modern technology, whilst a nation of viewers sat at home on their phones and laptops madly tweeting about it. There’s no ironing out the irony.

So begins the second coming of Brooker’s Black Mirror trilogy, after the success of previous portrayals of a Prime Minister forced to commit bestiality on national television, a talent show winner lured into pornography, and a frantic husband trying to ascertain the integrity of his wife through frantically Sky Plus-ing his own mind. Such is Brooker’s acerbic wit and satirical ingenuity that it has allegedly inspired Robert Downey Jnr. to buy the rights to last series’ ‘The Entire History of You’.

This time around – to quote well-known philosopher and undercut champion, Ellie Goulding – anything can happen. Tonight’s apocalyptic White Bear sees Leonora Crichlow running away from gun-wielding killers in front of the camera-phone wielding masses, whilst next week’s The Waldo Moment sees the return of the political-parody, in which a comedian behind an animated character on a late-night comedy show runs for a seat in an up-and-coming by-election. It’s grim, it’s dark and it’s probably not for the faint-hearted.

Ultimately, the real charm of Black Mirror lies in its poignant reflection of our own society, its construction of a world that is parallel to our own. It is not the ‘Bacofoil’ notion of future, but a haunting glance of what might become of us all tomorrow.

The Walking Dead

Spartacus

My Mad Fat Diary

Channel 4, Monday 10pm

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Fox, Friday 10pm

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odily mutilation, betrayal, survivors, revenge, reuniting and zombies just about sums up the first part of The Walking Dead Season 3. Tensions were high and the cliffhanger just as immense when we left Rick and co, but what are we to expect now?

Firstly Andrea is in a most difficult position thanks to the Governor and his sickening ways. It is suggested that she will be standing by his side, but for how long? What if she finds out about Rick and the others? She cannot really be pushed to pull a gun on them, but more unpredictable things have happened.

Rick’s new sadistic outlook after certain events occurred will really put everyone to the test if the Governor tries to come after them. The prison was an ironic god send and the juxtaposition between the farm landscape and the metal prison shows that the group are still trying to find that utopia.

More people have come to join them, but they don’t really know what’s in store and what anger comes their way; it seems this time the zombies aren’t the things to be scared of. Something darker and disturbingly more human lurks in the white picket fence town of Woodbury; the American Dream is dead and gone and they need to adjust to this new world.

Though the prison is being cleared, there is a strong stench of death seeping through the wire fencing. The group look like rats in a trap and, though they’ve fought many battles, the war is about to begin; a real test of who is able to hold on to what little shred of humanity they have left.

Aisha Din

Sky1, Monday 10pm

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fter three years, two (and a half) series and a seriously impressive Roman death toll, Spartacus is back. With historical fact pointing to the eventual failure of the rebellion upon which it is inspired, the aptly named, War of the Damned, is the concluding instalment of the popular series. Unsurprisingly, there is much anticipation as they prepare to hang up their proverbial sandals.

We join the new season following the rebels’ fantastically bloody escape from The House of Batiatus and continued insurgence against Rome. The previous series culminates in an equally epic finale.

Revenge has never been served with as much satisfying gore and overly dramatic CGI. Despite a fast, action-packed storyline that would satisfy most, the essential premise is far from the most complex. Oscar-winning performances are also in short supply as though Liam McIntyre assumes the lead superbly replacing the late Andy Whitfield, limited acting beyond the main cast ranges from wooden, to couldn’t act wet in a thunderstorm. However, graphic violence, strong sexual content and general Roman debauchery make up for this with a shameless disregard for subtlety.

Whether it’s Spartacus single-handedly decimating half of the Republic or Roman wives “getting intimate,” deficiencies are soon forgotten.

When considering the new series, the difficulty is to maintain a story that is ultimately beholden to fact, but throw in new adversaries in Julius Caesar and the climax of the show will no doubt prove bolder, bloodier and better than ever.

Matthew Hussey

Sophie Coletta

E4, Monday 10pm

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y Mad Fat Diary has for the past four weeks been the highlight of my Mondays. The sole reason for this is that it’s so horrifyingly cringe inducing that it’s gone full circle and has become impossible to stop watching.

Based around the actual published diary of Rae Earl, a 16 year old, self-confessed ‘fat girl’ from Lincolnshire who has just been released from a four month stint in a mental hospital, it’s unbelievable as to how the real Rae Earl survived the horror of the mortifying events which take place. Rae is attempting to win the friendship of “the coolest group of people she has ever met”, yet events such as getting stuck in the slide, in all her 16 stone glory, at a pool party (I didn’t even know pool parties were a thing that existed in real life) happen, hindering her chances somewhat.

Already, such events as the pool party disaster would tip My Mad Fat Diary at a solid nine on the cringe scale, however, it doesn’t stop there. Rae also seems to be the horniest character in television history. Choice phrases, such as describing her doctor as “an expert moistener of lady gardens” brings the cringe level to a solid ten. It does have something of The Inbetweeners about it but the focus upon Rae’s fight with her mental illness, her struggle to fit in, and her less than perfect home life add a whole new dimension to it, setting it apart from regular hilariously mortifying programmes. Set to a winning soundtrack and offering the right mix of drama and side-splitting embarrassment, it’s worth tuning in for the final episode tonight.

Jenny Thynne

The Courier

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Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Pop Fiction: Cultural learnings Using pop culture references is to use a joke that is very ‘now’. Sure, they’re funny if you get them but, a few years down the line, they might become obsolete. Tom Nicholson explores whether these pop culture loaded comedies have the staying power of the likes of ‘Allo ‘Allo and Open All Hours

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ne of the most agitating remarks one’s parents can make is that our generation’s beloved cultural institutions pale in comparison to those of their own. “There’ll never be another Monty Python/Porridge/Only Fools and Horses”, they witter, dismissing vast swathes of the last 20 years of television comedy as crass, trashy, or simply unfunny. This is, of course, mainly bollocks. However, the thought has occurred that the aforementioned programmes, all firmly wedged in the pantheon of TV comedy, have no obvious heirs apparent on the current schedules. They exist in their own microcosms.

By contrast, the overarching theme of the most popular TV comedies of last twenty years has been a compulsion dive into a barrel marked ‘Pop Culture References’ and wallow long in the contents.

It’s hard to say exactly where and when it started,

but Beavis and Butthead, Community, South Park, The Simpsons and, of course, Family Guy, all take some credit. On our own shores, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s Spaced jammed in more nods and winks to pop culture than one could waggle an enormous and very clued-up stick at. The appeal lies partially in the mental high-five which follows each reference the viewer gets; a confirmation that, yes, you are plugged into the zeitgeist, and yes, it is as stupid as you think it is.

However, as thrilling it can be to hear a sacred cow or two being led to the figurative slaughterhouse and unceremoniously turned into slurry, there are limitations to this comedic approach. For one, the implicit exclusion of some to amuse others unversed in pop culture can go too far. Take The Mighty Boosh: brilliant for two series, then sunk by nu rave jokes which were applicable to about 200

people in Dalston for three months in 2007. Or, if you prefer, take The Simpsons: unparalleled for six seasons, but latterly a barely recognisable shell of what it was, its formerly nuanced characters forced into stilted, tedious routines with whatever special guest is roped in that week. Admittedly, there were pop culture references in the halcyon days of Seasons 3-8 of The Simpsons, but they didn’t stick out like the proverbial sore thumb; for example, ‘Rosebud’, in which Mr Burns loses his cherished teddy bear Bobo, is modelled on Citizen Kane, but I only worked that out when I was 16 and had been laughing at Mr Burns shouting “Damn you paparazzo!” for about seven years. By contrast, the recent episode starring Lady Gaga stunk like a wet dog which had been marinated in farts. The sell-by date on pop culture jokes is perilously short, and comedians who rely on them too heavily can end up sinking into laziness and cliché.

Ultimately, though, the whole point of comedies is (brace yourselves for a truth-bomb, people) to make us laugh. They have no obligation to reach for grandeur or longevity. Even if a comedy programme is only funny and relevant for about thirty seconds or so (oh hello Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show, fancy seeing you here), it has succeeded.

Admittedly a success on this scale would hardly constitute the most glittering of CV additions, but it exists as a valuable record of a cultural moment.

It’s scary to think that our generation (what are we on now, generation Z? Generation LOL?) will be judged on its ravenous appetite for Rude Tube, but hey, we may as well embrace it. The alternative is even worse – imagine every programme aspiring for timelessness and constantly measuring itself against the canon. I’d take a hundred mayfly-like comedies whose funny-span barely ticks past six weeks over endless series of Terry and June. The makers of such comedies just need to bear in mind that their wheel of fortune spins quicker than most.

You just keep on running up your mouth As Jack Whitehall and James Corden got a little bit drunk on TV, appalled viewers raced to their phones to barrage the Ofcom phone lines with complaints. But were their complaints justified or were they whining for the sake of it? Jack Thomas takes a look at why exactly they were complaining

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t was pleasing to discover that television watchdog, Ofcom, exonerated complaints made about the airing of last year’s Big Fat Quiz of the Year; sticking two fingers up at the pretentious, dreary old sods that flocked to the governing body in search of some sort of retribution. Whatever that may have been; I’m sure a fine to Channel 4 would have sparked joyous reactions. But hey, I’m not one to judge how you get your kicks. Question is, who are these lifeless miseries that see fit to try and minimise our amusement so much, and is there any validity in their argument?

Complaints, around 180 in total, were largely centred on jokes made by Jack Whitehall and James Corden, that touched on the sex lives of the Queen and Susan Boyle; with the notion of President Obama having a ‘posh wank’ in his spare time, also attracting criticism. Admittedly, I can appreciate that jokes of the Queen having sex, may not appeal to both the patriotic and those lacking a sense of humour, but surely it could only have been construed as factious at worst. Whilst, although graphic thoughts of SuBo ‘taking it up the arse’, may have caused some to gag on their delightful suppers, I wouldn’t have thought anyone bared such affinity to the spinster that they’d flock to Ofcom in disgust.

Some may however, brandish me naïve. Many in the media have slated Channel 4’s decision to refrain from cutting out potentially offensive material, with some well know figures revealing their aversion to the airing of the comic show. Former Conservative MP, Anne Widercombe, commented “This programme is in extremely poor taste and I’m amazed it was ever broadcast”. One spinster jumping to defend another I guess; heart-warming and to be expected. More politicians followed suit,

Conor Burns questioning Ofcom’s role, “Decisions like these start to make the case for an organisation like Ofcom being replaced by an organisation with more gumption and sharper teeth”. So do we have politicians, just being politicians – dull and intent on being politically correct or is there any substance in their argument? Should Ofcom stamp down on borderline comedy?

No. It’s refreshing to once again, see such a rational stance from the media regulator; time and time again concluding the correct verdict on big cases. Pardoning Jeremy Clarkson’s, One show, public service strike rant but taking considerable action on a more high profile case that has shared constant comparisons with the one we’re discuss-

ing today. That being the Sachgate scandal, in which Jonathon Ross and Russell Brand left Andrew Sachs a string of offensive voicemail messages on their radio show. Like I say, a questionable comparison. I think the latter was far more candid, immature and offensive, and rightly served just consequences, that aren’t transferable to the Big Fat Quiz case in any way. Ofcom got it right, thankfully dismissing narrow minded claims of wrong doing.

We don’t see the boundaries of our treasured comics stifled for the time being, and Jack Whitehall and James Corden can rest easy in the knowledge that they have officially done no wrong. Although I doubt they’ll be getting an OBE anytime soon.

By the Watercooler

TV Editor Chris Taylor is someone who enjoys the traditional broadcast method of an episode a week. So how does he think the rise of immediacy in the availability of TV episodes affects his viewing habits?

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few weeks back, the entire 13 episodes of the remake of House of Cards went up on Netflix. That weekend, I watched all of them. It was the first time I have ever properly marathoned a show like that before, just so I could get a review up in these here pages in good time. I’ve marathoned sitcoms like The League (where I got through two and a half series of in as many days) and short 10 minute shows like Childrens’ Hospital but never something which requires concentration. I’m not sure I enjoyed it.

But, unfortunately for people like me, it seems like this is the way TV is going to be done now.

Everybody wants things now. Music. Now! Their shopping. Now! The news. Now! So it makes sense to do the same with TV. I can understand why producers are shifting to this model but I just don’t like it as it is essentially removing one of my favourite things about TV, the watercooler chats.

Shows like House of Cards need to be spaced out by a week between episodes. The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Lost, all benefited from having a week break before the next episode. It allowed you to digest what just happened, talk about it with other people to see what they thought and read criticism on it to gain a better understanding.

If you just jumped from episode to episode, the show might feel entirely different. Breaking Bad, for instance, would be defined by the explosive moments that occur surrounded by boring exposition whereas, if you take it slowly, that “boring exposition” would be the slowly bubbling tension which makes those explosive moments so much more impactful. Shows like The Sopranos are designed to appear more as a set of short stories with an overarching theme. Doing a marathon of those will turn it into an indecipherable blur. Episodes such as “College”, which are truly fantastic, will just be lost in the sea of episodes. These are shows that benefit from time to ruminate and to chat about.

It also becomes more difficult to talk about them.

Everyone is taking the show at their own pace.

With House of Cards, I have to be careful with what I say because not everyone I know is at the same point. Sure it does allow people to take it at their own pace, but it removes the feeling of an “appointment to view” and the chat the day after about what happened, which I love. I woke up early on the day of the final episode of Lost to watch the live simulcast (where they aired it in the UK at the same time as in the US) as I knew some friends I’d be seeing that day would be watching it too so we could talk about it then.

With Arrested Development set to hit Netflix in Spring and more networks trying to get their shows released in a similar way, it seems like I’ll have to get used to it. But I’ll be trying to keep the watercooler for more than just water.

34.features

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Danny Dyer: lover, thinker, artist, prophet With his latest masterwork Run For Your Wife hitting cinemas across the world this week, Features Editor Tom Nicholson looks back at the East End Clint Eastwood’s greatest hits

Human Traffic (1999) Dyer’s debut film followed the weekend exploits of several friends who spend their time cart-wheeling around the Cardiff rave scene in 1991. Dyer himself is arch-pill-muncher Moff, a curious manchild who rebels against his police officer father by taking so much Ecstasy he makes Bez from Happy Mondays look like a part-timer. He also despises Peter Andre with a passion which does the heart good, going as far as to fantasise about mutilating the antipodean Adonis’s genitals with a coathanger.

Moff is perhaps Dyer’s most sympathetic creation to date.

Danny’s best line: “YYYEEEAHHHHH BRUVVAAAAA!” Admittedly, this is made by John Simm’s curt reply of “Fuck off ”.

The Football Factory (2004) Arguably the finest achievement to date of the Danny Dyer-Nick Love axis of geezerdom, this smack-’em-up caper centres on the cheery and often misunderstood world of football hooliganism.

Far from being the dunderheaded morons who did their best to destroy football as a fun pastime, the characters of The Football Factory are just pwopa nawty geezers who happen to enjoy gathering in large groups to pummel seven shades out of each other, stealing from drug dealers, abusing the elderly and sort out exactly who is mugging off whom. Oh, and they like their drugs. The only reasons anyone goes into a toilet are to get beaten up or snort enormous lines of cocaine with the same wild abandon one might expect of a particularly reckless vacuum cleaner. The main criticism of The Football Factory when it was released was that it glorified street violence, but since when have critics been right about anything? As Love has pointed out, “Taxi Driver got absolutely c***ed when it come out”.

Danny’s best line: “Kicked ‘arf to death, florists, cabbies, nightmares an’ visions, one of the old soldiers gone forever, Bright gone for a seven, an’ bollocks so ruptured that the only fing I’ll be pullin’ for monfs is a chain. After all that you really do have to ask yourself if it was all worth it. Course it fackin’ was!”

Dyer’s character Tommy Smith decides that receiving repeated beatings and extensive brain damage has taught him absolutely nothing.

The Business (2005) Billed by Front as having “more guns than Goodfellas, more coke than Casino and more swearing than Scarface”, this critical perspective crucially

omits that The Business also has more plot holes than an amnesiac Swiss cheese and more ‘80s references than an episode of Ashes to Ashes set in a leg-warmer factory. At points it feels a bit like being beaten to death with a giant Rubik’s cube.

Danny’s best line: “Two beers please, and I don't suppose there's a chance you'll suck my cock?”

Dyer distances himself from accusations of sexism.

Outlaw (2007) The third Dyer-Love collaboration is set in contemporary London for a change, and follows the story of five men alienated or irked by society in some way: there’s Sean Bean, the soldier who returns from some war or other with a backpack full

“The only reasons anyone goes into a toilet are to get beaten up or snort enormous lines of cocaine with the same wild abandon one might expect of a particularly reckless vacuum cleaner” of angst and half a dozen firearms; Lennie James, who plays a lawyer whose wife and child are killed because he won’t do the decent thing and drop a case against a gangster; a pretty Cambridge student who gets slashed up by some kids; the bloke who played Ian Curtis in 24 Hour Party People, who’s

a psycho; and our Danny, who doesn’t really like his boss and gets beaten up by some yoofs. The blokes proceed to form a vigilante gang to shoot everyone they don’t like, but then get scared and run away into Gloucestershire. Many critics have attacked Outlaw, calling it “brainless”, “sickening sludge” with “childish politics”, but this is rather unfair; the question Nick Love really wants to ask the viewer is ‘What would the world be like if nobody was capable of rational thought and Surrey had a higher concentration of semi-automatic weapons than Omaha beach circa D-Day?’ The answer appears to be that everything would basically be fine, as long as you don’t mind a bit of vigilantism on the side. Speaking of critics, the subject comes up in conversation over the course of the DVD commentary for Outlaw, hosted by Dyer and Love. Love built his script around ‘real life’ stories from tabloid newspapers, which perhaps explains why fear lurks around every corner. Accusations that the Britain of Outlaw is a paranoid fantasy and couldn’t possibly exist is refuted vigorously by Love: “They say, oh how can you say there’s nonces running around and there’s people running around

stabbing each other – what fahkin’ papers you readin’ you dozy c***s?” Apparently genuinely surprised and hurt, Dyer replies: “I’ve never seen no stars before. Fahkin’ broadsheet c***s”, before calling reviewers “fahkin’ slags”. I did learn a lot from Outlaw – for example, I didn’t know the army were so keen to get rid of excess weapons that they gave them away to discharged soldiers with the alacrity of a particularly indulgent parent stuffing their child’s friends’ party bags with sweets. Oh, and that Tony Blair is to blame for everything. Bloody Blair.

What’s he like, eh?

Danny’s best line: Not a line as such, but his solemn nod following Sean Bean’s rant detailing how one might “get AIDs or jump on the bus with a rucksack full of explosives, [and] the government will dish you out a free car these days”, is solid gold.

In one neck movement, Dyer says, ‘Yes, those two things are absolutely comparable. This man speaks sense. I don’t need to fact-check the car thing. I trust this madman.’

“Outlaw asks the viewer, ‘What would the world be like if nobody was capable of rational thought and Surrey had a higher concentration of semi-automatic weapons than Omaha beach circa D-Day?’”

The Courier

features.35

Monday 18 February 2013

Doghouse (2009) Ever the forward-thinker, Dyer sprang into action following the success of Shaun of the Dead to star in another British zombie-comedy a mere five years after Shaun Pegg and Nick Frost’s opus. Doghouse comes with a twist, however; the zombies are all sexy ladies. What larks! Showing commendable concern for the environment, the scriptwriters were careful to recycle most of Shaun of the Dead’s jokes too.

Danny’s best line: “It’s an army of pissed off, manhating, feminist cannibals.” Dyer distances himself from accusations of misogyny.

Pimp (2010) In the wake of Dyer’s somewhat misguided comments in a Zoo magazine column, wherein he advised a correspondent to disfigure his ex-girlfriend so that she could never find love again, he needed an image-changing, career-resuscitating, Oscarbothering smash hit. What he got was Pimp, a mock-documentary about Soho’s seedy underbelly in which he plays casually misogynistic strip club Don Stanley. Of course, elitist, hifalutin critics like Mark Kermode dismissed Pimp as “morally duplicitous”, “worthless trash”, and said it “has nothing to say and says it very loudly”, but Dyer soon showed everyone how wrong Kermode was by publicly threatening to headbutt him. That’ll teach him. At least Dyer could rely on his army of fans to see him through such choppy waters as being accused of hating women and unable to act his way

out of a wet paper bag, right? In a way, yes. Pimp drew in literally tens of people, grossing over £200.

Well, £205 to be exact, from an audience of 24 on the opening weekend.

Danny’s best line: “Break that little tart in. Get her on her back.” Dyer distances himself from accusations that he condones violence against women.

Run For Your Wife (2013)

For his latest blockbuster, Dyer has changed tack once again. Run For Your Wife is a knockabout romantic comedy in which he plays radically against type as an average, working class, chirpy, cockney, blokey-bloke taxi driver called John Smith. This flick’s star power is frankly blinding; appearing alongside Dyer are Neil Morrissey (Men Behaving

Badly, Bob the Builder), Denise van Outen (The Big Breakfast) and Sarah Harding (St. Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold), but the stars don’t stop there, oh no. Cameos from Lionel Blair, Christopher Biggins, Rolf Harris, Richard Briers and even the imperishable Cliff Richard take Run For Your Wife into the realms of fantasy. However, the fact that Dyer’s own father left his mother when Dyer was a boy to live with another family which he had secretly been cultivating on the side (as outlined in Dyer’s autobiography) gives this frothy Carry Onstyle comedy a deeply melancholic undertow. It’s going to be a hoot!

Danny’s best line: The dull thud with which the handle of a rake smacks Dyer in the face. It’s not much of a quote, but it is bloody funny. He stands on the metal bit of a rake! And then it hits his face!

And then he falls down! Give the man another Oscar, or at the very least a biscuit.

You trying to graph me off, you mug?

Sometimes words aren’t enough. Here we illustrate the full extent of Danny Dyer’s cultural contribution using mathematics. You can’t argue with maths

What makes Danny Dyer so lovable?

Star power: How Danny draws in the crowds The Football Factory (2004)

The Business (2005)

Budget: £500,000 Gross: £623,000

Budget: £2,000,000 Gross: £1,114,000

Outlaw (2007)

Doghouse (2009)

Pwopa nawtiness

Lack of brain-tomouth filtration system

Childlike belief in whatever he was told by the last person he spoke to

The Golden Ratio: What goes into a Dyer smash hit?

5% Regurgitation

of headlines from the Sun

20% Cocaine binges

10% Geezers being mugged off 10% Geezers mugging other geezers off

5% Dyer having promontory dreams to advance the plot 5% Tamer Hassan

Budget: £2,500,000 Gross: £1,519,000

Budget: £4,000,000 Gross: £56,000

10% Geezers moaning about bloody women

35% Geezers getting a kicking

36.filmfeatures

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Film Editors: Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor: Chris Binding

Top

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Keeping it reel: controversy in film

When it comes to the medium of cinema, where do boundaries lie? Muneeb Hafiz Films not to win the examines Kathryn Bigelow’s Zero Dark Thirty as he discusses controversial film Best Picture Oscar

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Saving Private Ryan (1998) One of the best war films ever made, yet Spielberg’s masterpiece somehow lost out to medieval rom-com Shakespeare in Love. With an all-star cast including the affable Tom Hanks, as well as some breath-taking scenes such as the storming of the beaches of Normandy, this WWII epic deserved to win Best Picture.

Goodfellas (1990)

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Martin Scorsese had yet another of his brilliant films snubbed when Dances with Wolves swept up at the 1991 Oscars to deny this brilliant, epic gangster film the prestigious Best Picture award. Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci all give stellar performances in this gangster flick that defines the genre.

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Kathryn Bigelow’s eagerly anticipated Zero Dark Thirty has ignited the vibrant debate surrounding controversial film making, and in a post-Hurt Locker era, has become the Bigelow trademark.

However, controversy in film is no contemporary phenomenon but has instead proved itself to be one of the most dynamic, enduring debates in film history. But we must ask ourselves, what is this controversy we speak of? Is it merely clever economic machination? A disturbance of status quo?

A canon for truthful expression? Or, perhaps, all of the above? From D. W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation in its endorsement of white supremacist ideology, to Monty Python’s Life of Brian and the satirical notion of an accidental messiah, to Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange with its ultra-violent allure, controversy presents itself in many different forms with even more diverse implications.

What seems clear is that controversy fulfils a paradoxical role in the movie-sphere, with press, be it good or bad, equating to publicity. Therefore, we could adopt a rather cynical outlook here, and insist on controversial filmmaking as an economic ploy for a greater bottom line, than any sincere effort in augmenting awareness or developing the understanding of a potent debate. However, this outlook is perhaps too trenchant because raising awareness, even if driven by the pursuit of profit, is still positive in an absolute sense. Producers, directors et al receive huge sums of money, and audiences’ eyes and ears are pricked to the varying debates of the day - everybody wins. Whilst not so much a positive with extremist manipulations such as The Birth of a Nation or Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will, pictures like Emad Burnat’s 5 Broken Cameras or Eugene Jarecki’s The House I Live In,

present filmmakers genuine attempts at increasing popular awareness of affairs which often take place outside the comforts of our living rooms.

It must be said, though, the label of ‘controversy’ flippantly branded on films such as Zero Dark Thirty, are seemingly coincidental and terribly selective. The depiction of US endorsement of unlawful interrogation techniques, the main bone of contention in this film, sent shivers down the spine of the American establishment. However, the torture of Americans at the hands of the terrorist ‘Other’ is widely accepted as a common-sense truth. The interrogation of DiCaprio’s character in Ridley Scott’s Body of Lies demonstrates the disparity and subsequent controversy quickly labelled with one and not the other. The disturbance of status quo i.e. the

Where’s my Oscar?

Se7en (1995) David Fincher’s tense thriller was not even nominated for Best Picture in a year when even Babe received a nod, although the award went to Braveheart ultimately. Starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman as two detectives, this gripping and exciting thriller warranted some recognition at the Oscars apart from an editing nomination.

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

What’s all the hype with those tiny gold-plated britannium statues? Rollo Kirkman discusses the problems of entrusting such value into an award decided by so few

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Incredibly, none of Stanley Kubrick’s films won the Best Picture Oscar and he himself never won the award for Best Director. Full Metal Jacket is a harrowing and realistic portrayal of a group of Marines before and during their tour of Vietnam. Yet it was not even nominated in a relatively weak year when The Last Emperor won.

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Citizen Kane (1941) When you think of the greatest films not to win Best Picture, Orson Welles’ brilliant drama always comes up. It lost to the forgettable and much less well-known How Green Was My Valley in one of the Academy’s most surprising decisions. Consistently named as the best film ever made, it is always surprising to see this film was simply a Best Picture nominee.

Jacob Crompton Schreiber

Oh, what joy! What excitement! The red carpet is rolled out, the great and good of Hollywood are all dressed up, and the gold Doctor Manhattan statues are being polished!

The fact that my opinion of the Oscars veers between extreme apathy and general dislike is well known among people who’ve been subjected to my rants on the subject. While I have no objection to award ceremonies in general, the Oscars annoy me because both the actual awards and the nominations tend to be very biased towards a very select type of film, which is entirely counterproductive if the industry wants to move forward. The electorate are overwhelmingly white, male, over 50 and conservative in their choice of films, and thus you tend not to get a lot of surprises in nominations, a lot of snubs to otherwise critically-acclaimed films, and the same nominations appearing over and over again in all the categories.

I’m not saying that nomination for an Oscar is a bad thing or that the films chosen this year (and especially those slated to win) are bad films; quite the opposite. What’s annoying is that there are a good deal of films that tend to get snubbed by not even getting nominated.

Take, for example, this year. Even though I don’t

approve of everything he does, Quentin Tarantino deserved at least a nomination for directing Django Unchained, as did Ben Affleck for Argo, Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty, and even Sam Mendes for Skyfall, which was also snubbed for everything apart from music, sound and cinematography. Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson for Django, and Marion Cotillard for Rust and Bone lead up the acting snubs. Similarly Cloud Atlas and The Dark Knight Rises didn’t even get nods, while pretty abominable stuff like Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror Mirror did.

But it’s not just the “big shock” snubs that are annoying; it’s also generally the lack of appreciation for films which don’t fit the Oscar mould. Dredd, for example, had some of the best effects and cinematography of the year, and yet no nominations.

Skyfall didn’t get anything in the big categories, despite being the best British film of the year.

But enough of the rant. There will be some interesting stories with the winners this year; will Daniel Day Lewis be the first man to win three Best Actor statues? Will Lincoln manage a sweep (apart from Hathaway’s obvious win for Supporting Actress)? But really, it doesn’t make a difference. The films that will win all deserve acclaim. I’d just wish fewer good films get missed out because they don’t fit the mould.

inherent righteousness of the ‘West’ comes to the fore with this example.

The purpose here is not to be polemical, some erroneous anti-Western rant, but rather an observation of controversy in mainstream cinema. True, we all have our ‘lenses’ and outlooks on the world as it exists, notions of right and wrong, pretensions of controversy, and agreement. However, is it ‘right’ to dismiss works such as Bigelow’s Zero Dark Thirty as controversial, as a propaganda tool, or as misleading?

There is no simple answer and this is perhaps why controversy endures. We are all unique in our thoughts and expressions, be it on screen as Kathryn Bigelow has done, or perhaps more trivially, in a University newspaper.

WIN!

It’s competition time again! This time win tickets to see sci-fi opus Cloud Atlas at the Tyneside Cinema

Based on the lauded novel by David Mitchell (no, not that David Mitchell), Cloud Atlas reunites the Wachowskis with science fiction for a series of six epic interlocking tales. We have two tickets to see it at the Tyneside Cinema.

Cloud Atlas star Ben Whishaw recently appeared in Skyfall, but which classic character did he portray? a) Moneypenny b) Q c) Alec Trevelyan Email your answer to editor.union@ncl. ac.uk before 8pm on Thursday 21 to be in with a chance of winning.

Cloud Atlas opens at Tyneside Cinema on 22 February

The Courier

reviewsfilm.37

Monday 18 February 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Warm Bodies (12A) Styled as ‘500 Days of Summer meets Zombieland’, Warm Bodies attempts to plug the gaping hole in cinema’s identity where romantic comedy and horror overlap. What emerges is quite messy, a touch shallow, but not all bad.

After the apocalypse, the remnants of humanity live surprisingly idyllically, walled off in a section of Toronto. Outside roam ‘Bonies’, predatory, skeletal 28 Days Later-style zombies and ‘Corpses’, a middle stage between the two, capable of limited thought, movement and speech but still gripped by a hunger for human flesh. During a calamitous excursion outside, Julie (Teresa Palmer), the daughter of humanity’s somewhat podgy general (John Malkovich), is rescued by R (Nicholas Hoult), a Corpse who falls in love with her on first sight, subsequently beginning to regain his humanity, much to the chagrin of both her father and the Bonies.

The main problem with Warm Bodies is that it’s rather hard to reconcile the horror element with the romance element. R not only eats Julie’s boyfriend, eats his brains and (I kid you not) keeps bits in his pocket to snack on later, but is also portrayed

as a puppy-eyed broken cutie with a problem. Even after discovering this fact, Julie barely reacts and within three scenes is declaring undying (no pun intended) love and affection. Combine this with 12A (at best) levels of gore and blood, the fact that the apocalypse is treated as a minor inconvenience and the way in which months of death has only caused Hoult to look a bit skinny, pale and in need of a light shower, and it feels a bit like the undead elements have been shoehorned in for the sake of a unique selling point. Unfortunately, this is where other films of this rather odd Frankenstein’s monster of a genre, notably Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead, excelled - and thus Warm Bodies feels like Romeo and Juliet (around which the basic structure is set) with zombies dropped in as an afterthought, and the graft doesn’t really take.

Beyond R, the characters are all underdeveloped, (especially Malkovich), while Palmer varies between being emotionally unexplainable (her mood swings in the face of the apocalypse are odd to say the least) and just plain annoying. The comedy dries up in the final third, to be replaced by a senti-

mentality that feels a bit off.

That said, it’s not all bad. Hoult manages to portray a deep character despite having no lines longer than four syllables, and his internal monologue is well timed and pithy, if criminally under-used.

The film also has some rather sharp subtext about general teenage behaviour, group dynamics, the isolation of modern technology, and the stigma of suffering from a terminal disease. These elements, however striking are again unfortunately underdeveloped.

VERDICT: Warm Bodies isn’t actively bad, but the things that really give it charm are underused, and there’s a heavy sense of cliché in the air. If you’re up for a slightly whimsical film, then it’s fine, but it does somewhat lack bite, and there’s not much meat to the film’s skeleton.

Wreck-It Ralph (PG)

No (15)

I Give It A Year (15)

Hitchcock (12A)

Wreck-It Ralph is the latest flick from Disney and it marks new ground for the studio, or any studio for that matter. A Toy Story or Roger Rabbit for videogame fans, it takes Ralph, a disenfranchised arcade villain, and sends him on a journey to overcome his programming and become a hero.

One of the major draws of the film, especially for older viewers, is the huge range of video game cameos. These include Sonic, Zangief, Bowser, Q*Bert, Pacman and that big purple rhino that I just know I’ve seen somewhere. While people of a certain age will have a great time picking them all out, much of the film’s humour isn’t exactly tailored to an adult audience, and you’ll end up cringing at all the half-hearted poo jokes Sarah Silverman’s Vanellope manages to cram in.

Far, far funnier are Jane Lynch’s Sgt. Calhoun and Jack McBrayer’s Fix-It Felix, essentially a continuation of his impossibly optimistic 30 Rock character.

Calhoun’s dialogue in particular is outstanding as a parody of the tired, Halo-style space marine genre.

The two even form an unlikely relationship rooted in sadomasochism. I’m no expert, but I think that’s a first for a Disney film.

Unfortunately, much of the plot is reliant on a series of arbitrary rules, awkwardly shoehorned into the dialogue. Gamers, did you know that a glitch can never leave their own game? Or that if a glitch wins a game it resets the console? It’s all just one big hodgepodge of artificial threat and deus ex machina.

Set in the run-up to Chile’s 1988 referendum, No documents the twists and turns of the triumphant political campaign that ultimately defeated military dictator Augusto Pinochet. More precisely, the work of René Saavedra (Bernal), the ad executive who championed an ingenious approach to political expression.

As the final instalment of Pablo Larraín’s ‘Pinochet’ trilogy, No presents the steps taken, the emotions felt, and the ideas realised on the road to political freedom. The masterstroke here is not so much the plot, but the sublime techniques used in translating sentiments of life in 1980’s Chile. There is a visceral quality to the production chiefly underpinned by the use of an 80’s U-Matic camera, creating a film that might well be the docu-drama of the era. The transition between live-action and archive footage is seamless making the film altogether more effective, and the ‘artificial’ world on the big screen is made to seem very real.

The characters make for very good cinema with Saavedra’s ad partner, Lucho Guzmàn (Castro), spearheading the “Yes” faction. Crucially, the performances do not disappoint. The familiar conflict between work and life is played out brilliantly within this relationship, and in a situation of political unrest and fierce, occasionally downright personal political fencing, we find ourselves yearning for the knockout riposte. Bernal is truly on form and No is an excellent account of life and hope in the world of political repression and the means taken for change.

This British rom-com explores the aftermath of ‘happily ever after’ as the relationship between newlyweds Nat and Josh, played by Rose Byrne and Rafe Spall is severely strained as a result of their clashing personalities. The situation is pressurised further by the temptations of Josh’s appealing ex, Chloe (Anna Faris) and Nat’s new smarmy colleague, Guy (Simon Baker).

With less encouraging predictions from their friends and family can this chalk and cheese couple battle through more than a year of married life?

Not without a series of hysterical social blunders to hinder them on the way, that’s for certain.

From the writer/director of Borat and Bruno, Dan Mazer, I Give it a Year sets itself up for high expectations.

It partly delivers in its use of wacky sexual gags and witty lines hammed up by Stephen Merchant who basically just plays himself with added cringiness. Olivia Coleman steals every scene as an amusingly twisted marriage counsellor.

With its eyes set on the Valentine’s movie date crowd, the film comes across as a sort of mash up of Love Actually and Bridesmaids, attempting to subvert the genre as more of a comical anti-romance.

Inevitably it struggles to maintain the right balance of crude humour and emotional mushiness which alienates the audience from its unappealing protagonists.

‘Hitchcock’ is a universally celebrated name associated with classic and quality film making. Turns out though, you can’t simply just attach the name to any picture to make it as renowned as the man.

While I wasn’t thoroughly disappointed from Sacha Gervasi’s take on the legendary film maker, I would say that the film falls into a very generic category. The plot revolves around Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) during the period in which he produces the classic movie Psycho. What could have been an intrepid excavation of the man behind the suspense turned into a bland romance drama between Hitch and his wife Alma (Helen Mirren).

Hopkins may be covered in noticeable latex but he does a decent job with the material he’s given.

His chemistry with Mirren is delightful, and Mirren delivers an incredible speech which was snubbed for an Oscar nomination. The supporting cast is also a strong facet to this film. Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel bring delicate and honest performances as Hollywood starlets Janet Leigh and Vera Miles.

Film buffs will adore the playful references to Hitchcock’s work like The Birds, but the problem I found was that Gervasi barely scratches the surface of such an influential man. There are times where we get to see the darker (even perverted) side to the man. The peak of this is when Hitchcock’s inner turmoil boils over during the filming of the infamous shower scene. Unfortunately, what’s leftover is just typical Coronation Street drama; simply not living up to expectations

VERDICT: While it’s not the funniest Disney film it also isn’t trying to be. Wreck It Ralph is a good old-fashioned heart-warmer first and foremost, and Ralph’s journey from villain to hero is a touching one, despite a few messy plot beats.

Sam Summers

VERDICT: Creative, powerful and captivating, No embodies the massive potentials of political marketing. As both a political drama and fly-onthe-wall documentary, this is a success that not only enthrals but asks meaningful questions. Now showing at the Tyneside Cinema.

Muneeb Hafiz

VERDICT: It may lack a true heart and granted, like all rom-coms it’s annoyingly predictable but at the same time the film sacrifices outdated romantic clichés refreshingly in favour of an outrageously bitter quirkiness that succeeds in tickling the funny bones throughout.

Helen Jamison

Rollo Kirkman

VERDICT: Hitchcock has all the ingredients to be a classic. Unfortunately this soufflé didn’t rise the way it was intended. It’s an enjoyable romp but the wishy-washy style of pacing and under-used voyeurism doesn’t leave much of an impact.

Luke Hearfield

The Courier

science.39

Monday 18 February 2013

Science Editor: James Simpson

Cyborgs: Sci-fi or sci-fact?

The Terminator is a timeless classic. The story of a man with bionic body parts allowing him to reach his terminating potential is a fascinating concept. Now, Science-fiction has very much turned Science-fact as Science Editor James Simpson discusses the reality of exceeding human capabilities with artificially fashioned body parts

T

he recent announcement that a one million dollar bionic man has been built has really sparked excitement within the Scientific Community.

The bionic man, known as ‘Rex’ was created by robotics experts and doctors for the Channel 4 documentary How To Build A Bionic Man. He showcases the best bits of medical technology from prosthetic limbs to artificial internal organs.

What makes him tick It’s not just the outside of Rex that is bionic though.

His whole internal system is artificial using the best of medical technology available today and prototypes for the future.

With the decrease in availability of organ donors and an increasingly unhealthy population requiring transplants, demand is exceeding supply causing major problems. In solution to this, artificial organs have been made.

An synthetic two chambered heart is at the core of Rex’s circulatory system pumping synthetic blood around his artificial veins.

His synthetic blood is

Photo: Wikimedia

science vs:

spiritualism With the increase in people turning to mediums and other spiritualist methods of contacting long lost loved ones, Matthew Whittle discusses why he believes it’s utterly absurd

S

Physical manifestation So firstly, let’s look at what he’s made up of. He has two prosthetic arms with 26 degrees of movement within each hand. The unique thing about the arm is that when attached to a human it learns how to work with the person, eradicating the need for months of physiotherapy.

This alone is an incredible feat. The advancement in prosthetic limbs in the last 30 years alone has seen what was once a limp, flesh-coloured replica hand evolve into last week’s reveal of a fully working bionic arm with moving joints.

Rex has a retina implant to thank for being able to see. This is still being tested at the moment - it converts light into images allowing completely blind people to make out basic shapes, unlocking huge potential for allowing the blind to see. It has to be said, he’s also assisted by an infrared camera from an Xbox 360 Kinect.

His legs are prosthetic which are often used for soldiers returning from warzones with lost limbs due to the harsh nature of war. The ankles are motorised and able to adjust to different conditions when implanted into the body. For example, the degree of movement can be changed when climbing stairs, running, and even jumping. The ankle replicates the way the muscles in the leg move like the calf and Achilles tendon.

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

Photo: Wikimedia made up of nanoparticles which are completely futuristic technology. The blood supplies lungs, kidneys, pancreas, and an artificial spleen. They are all in full working order and act in response to real changes in internal bodily conditions.

As well as an artificial voice box and cochlear implants, Rex can listen and respond to sounds in his external environment. Although it’s fair to say he somewhat sounds more like Microsoft Sam than Arnie himself; disappointing.

Intelligent design Artificial limbs for people who have never had them (such as the presenter Bertolt Meyer, who has an artificial arm), or people who have lost them to accidents or in warzones are an incredible relief. With arms and legs which behave just like normal appendages, these really can change people’s lives for the better.

The internal organs such as the heart and lungs can not only extend someone’s life but enhance their quality of life. Transplants pose such problems as rejection and require vast amounts of drugs and therapy. With an artificial heart there are still such problems but not to the same degree.

There is also no waiting around on a donor register.

The artificial Pancreas has huge

potential for diabetics as it produces insulin and releases it into the bloodstream. This could effectively eliminate the task of injecting insulin, solving a huge problem that affects 347 million people worldwide.

Ethical dilemmas As with any scientific breakthrough there are ethical parameters that must be considered. Rex cost almost $1 million, meaning he’s extremely expensive. This is due to the high cost of each of his components.

For example, his heart costs around $120,000 alone. Now how could an organisation such as the NHS justify this sort of expense for everyone who needs a heart transplant? We then enter into the ethical dilemma of whether it is only the rich that should be allowed to prolong their life, purely because they can afford to.

We must also pose the question who should be allowed these artificial organ transplants? If someone who has smoked all their life comes up against someone who has not and they both require an artificial lung, should the non-smoker be given priority? These moral predicaments are all things that need considering in a project such as this.

It’s no secret that prosthetic limbs are advancing at an incredible speed. It has taken only eight years of research to replicate the complicated mechanism of the human ankle. in another eight years the prosthetic limbs will have advanced way beyond anything possible within the human body.

Does this mean that people will favour prosthetic limbs over their originals?

The Paralympics shows what amazing feats of engineering and technology can achieve and how well they can be adapted to the human body to allow athletes to exceed their potential.

Will society change its views and in the next 50 or so years when prosthetics become more advanced and affordable to become the next ‘must have’ accessory?

Obviously Rex will never be able to think independently like a human and it’s very much true that “a human is more than just the sum of all its parts” but when a human’s parts become replaced with more advanced ones, then you enter into a whole new dimension, Super humans. We are not only pushing the boundaries of Science and Technology, but also pushing the limits of moral obligation as human beings, and that could end up been a dangerous game.

How To Build A Bionic Man is now available on Channel 4 on demand.

cience has progressed a lot since it’s birth in the Ancient World. We now know the earth isn’t flat, no longer do we rely on a balance four humors as medical advice and we know the earth revolves around the sun, not the other way round.

In fact in around 300 years, science has pretty much flipped upside down most of our knowledge of the world. Just last week, stem cells were printed using a 3D printer and the first bionic eye went on the market.

Even with the rate at which science is advancing, people still buy into the idea that movements of distant stars can predict petty changes in their personal lives, or that their future can be read from a crystal ball that was probably bought in a charity shop somewhere down the road.

As ridiculous as these beliefs may sound to scientifically-minded people like myself, spirituality plays quite an important role as a deciding factor in peoples lives. Astrology columns hold up a fairsized section in many newspapers, sandwiched between articles about who’s sleeping with who, which footballer earns the most and what mundane drivel is happening on the X Factor that week.

Even as close as Jesmond there is a building called the ‘Spiritual Evidence Society’. It’s an oxymoron in my opinion, however spirituality is clearly something much of the population takes seriously.

People are entitled to their own beliefs however, and neither I, nor anyone else has any right to tell them otherwise. If you want to pay a hefty fee for a spirit medium to tell you that one of your old pets names begins with a B? Or L? …C? Or that it may or may not have been a cat, and other similar, vague and easily relatable statements that were probably a propagation of their own mind and not your deceased pet talking to them through a crystal ball, then that is completely your choice.

These kinds of beliefs do tend to hold humanity back a fair bit though. Even in the 21st century, farfetched beliefs are having negative effects all over the world, alternative medicine being a primary example.

Firstly, homeopathy, the NHS-funded practice of diluting a substance with no relevant medical significance and diluting it until its concentration is negligible. In fact, you would have to drink litre upon litre of the stuff to consume just one molecule of the ‘active ingredient’ in some of the ‘higher potency’ dilutions and this is funded by the NHS - ultimately, your taxes. Obviously there is the placebo effect to consider, but surely the money (and time) would be better spent on finding an actual cure?

Alternative medicine also has negative effects on biodiversity, and in many countries it has driven species to near extinction through poaching. Traditional Chinese medicine has taken a serious toll on the tiger population of Asia and we could potentially see it’s extinction in our life times, due to the belief that butchered tigers can be used to cure all sorts of health problems. This is only one example, but there are many, many more.

While the daily astrology columns in newspapers like The Sun pose no major threat, they represent a delusion within society. Are these delusions something society wants to be burdened with in the face of the threats of the 21st century and beyond?

Photo: Wikimedia

40.puzzles

Monday 18 February 2013

Puzzles

The Courier

Puzzles Editors: Tom Nicholson and Sally Priddle

Fancy some free drinks? Put your feet up and wrack your brains

2

3

Find yourself stumped?

Check out The Courier’s website next week for the solutions

Picture-makey-phrase

The name of the game: read the images to spell out a well known celebrity for your chance to win a £4 Mens Bar Voucher

Crossword 1

Win a £4 MensBar voucher*

4

5

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7

+

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+

+

1

8 12

9

10

=? =?

11 13

Sudoku

15

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Across

1 A tooth; Dennis the Menace’s sidekick (7) 7 Venue filled with coin-operated computer games, pool tables and teddy pickers (6) 8 Sovereign ruler of a large multinational realm (7) 9 Mystery; WW2 encryption device (6) 10 A heavily defended building (8) 13 Art which ridicules vice, folly and stupidity through irony (6) 14 Made less religious (11) 17 Toon hero born a sheet metalworker’s son from Gosforth to become the all-time Premier League top-scorer (4, 7)

Down

1 Short novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald which features gratuitous shirtthrowing (5, 6) 2 The way which someone or something looks (10) 3 First name of Lord Admiral Nelson (7) 4 Unusual (4) 5 Small orange-like fruit (10) 6 Renovated; renewed (8) 11 Large flightless bird famous for sticking their heads in the sand (7) 12 Simone, legendary jazz singer (4) 15 Skinny (4) 16 One who helps with a single person’s admin, abbrev. (1-1) 17 Formal mode of address (3)

9 5

7

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5

4 6 8

8

3

2 9 7

5

9 1

3 5 2 9

4 2 4 6

*The first person to bring the completed crossword or Supermarket Sweep to The Courier office in the Students’ Union will be awarded the £4 prize

The Courier

bucssport.41

Monday 18 February 2013

Undefeated Owls champions Victorious Captain of the 1sts Chris Griffiths reviews the Owls’ incredible season Saturday saw Newcastle Rugby League complete a season like no other when they defeated a spirited Liverpool University side. Yes, like the previous two seasons they won the league, yes they reclaimed the title of the AU’s ‘most beloved’, and yes Daniel Capaross failed to score, but this season saw the mighty Owls go undefeated in every single league fixture, a feat which has never been done before in the illustrious history of the club.

An average of just over 6 points per game were conceded at Fortress Cochrane, emphasising the brutality of the Owls 1st XIII defence.

On the attacking hand NURL ran in 328 points this season, which works out at over 35 points per game.

Away with the stats, Newcastle can put their fine form down to new Coach Chris Parker flawlessly refining an already solid team from previous years.

Alongside this, the incoming freshers have offered healthy competition for places amongst the team, meaning no player can drop the ball twice (exception – Jack English who drops the ball regularly). Andreas Methenitis and Tom “Where’s” Whalley immediately made an impact in pre-season cementing their places in the 1st XIII. Charles Hyland, Matty O’Neil and Dan Shortman were regularly called upon following absences and proved just as able as those they replaced.

Furthermore with many NURL players reaching the pinnacle of their university career, there were 11 players all in their final year desperate for a first team spot.

A regular 1st team squad was never established due to injuries and course commitments which allowed the strength in depth from the second team to shine through with 28 different players representing the Owls elite throughout the campaign.

The season began with a 76-0 demo-

Tweet of the week

- Gary Lineker - @GaryLineker “Pistorius story gets more grim by the minute”

(14 Feb) Just one of the many tweets on the shock story that emerged on Valentine’s Day, that the ‘Blade Runner’ who unified the Paralympics and the Olympics shot his girlfriend dead. This shows we can never truly know our sportsmen and women.

Onto the business end of the season, NURL now progress immediately to the Quarter finals of the National Championships in which they find out their opponents on the 19th February in the Championship draw. The small matter of the less academically blessed students of Northumbria University also eagerly awaits in the Stan Calvert showdown on the 10th March.

A

Testing times

1.) 2000 2.) Two 3.) Millennium Trophy 4.) 2007 5.) Croke Park

From the second division of Brazilian football, a goal mouth scramble resembling a Fifa engine impact gone wrong

proved a banana skin for the blue and whites in previous years.

A flawless display from Matthew Woods at hooker and a non stop second row of Harry Rigby and Andreas Methenitis contributed towards a welldeserved 19-4 Newcastle win. From there on in, winning became somewhat of a habit.

The remaining eight fixtures were victories, comfortable ones at home and convincing ones away. Edge Hill away proved NURL’s biggest challenge, the ex-super 8 side were certain the game would go ahead despite -3 temperatures in Liverpool. Greeted by an icy 3G pitch, the depleted NURL side knew the next 80 minutes were going to be the toughest of the season so far.

Early concussion to hooker Matty O’Neil, a broken nose to Steve Janney and Dan Capaross running his knees to blood were just a few of the players who dug deep that day, playing almost a full 80 minutes for a spirited Owls outfit. Newcastle came out on top winning 22-12 with two tries from Griffiths and his inferior halfback partner Dave Knox grabbing just one.

With the league wrapped up, celebrations began at ‘Casa del Clayton Park’ consisting of Tesco’s finest champagne, a deserved man of the match award given to George Matthew for his 4 tries, and a moving speech from skip-

Spot the ball

1) In which year did Italy makes its Six Nations debut?

2) How many tries did Wales concede in their 2008 Six Nations Grand Slam?

3) What is the name of the trophy England and Ireland compete for?

4) Since what year have Italy and France competed for the Giuseppe Garibaldi Trophy?

5) During the construction of the Aviva Stadium in Dublin, which stadium hosted Ireland’s Six Nations home games?

A crazy goal mouth scramble you won’t have seen: Caxias v Internacional http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgfaDoZkwtI&feature =player_embedded

per Griffiths which brought the softer players amongst the team close to tears.

Once the team were full of bubbles they headed to their favourite night at the students union, CCTV.

“A moving speech from skipper Griffiths brought a couple of the softer members of the team to tears”

Back of the net Video of the week

lition of Liverpool John Moores which sent a message out to the other teams in the league immediately that NURL were the ones to beat. Second came the infamous Leeds Met away trip, which had

Tip of the week

With a dismal start to this year’s Six Nations, France face a battle to avoid the wooden spoon and so this bet to finish last seems an attractive option and a change from the usual favourites of Italy and Scotland

10/3

(Odds from William Hill )

B

C

AWARDS TOP TRYSCORER GEORGE MATTHEW TOP TACKLER HARRY RIGBY MR CONSISTENT TOM CLARKE MR INCONSISTENT JACK ENGLISH MOST HIT UPS DAN CAPARROS

D

E

1 2 3 4 5 6 Want to win a £4 MensBar voucher?

E-mail courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk where you think the ball is.

F

42.sportfeatures

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Kicking for territory: the Six Nations

With the Six Nations 2013 Championship in full swing, The Courier takes a look at how the tournament is unfolding and discuss which team has the potential to win England

Photography: Getty Images

England have been thoroughly impressive this Six Nations campaign with a decisive 38-18 victory over Scotland, and a 12-6 win in a tightly-fought game which was considered a ‘Grand Slam decider’ against Ireland. They have showed ruthlessness in attack, and seem to be picking up points regularly in visits to the opponents’ twenty-two.

Strong, aggressive defence led by Saracens’ Brad Barrett have been the key to their current success.

England have found a great option at centre in Billy Twelvetrees to balance the bulk and brawn of Brad Barrett and Manu Tuilagi. Twelvetrees currently plays domestic rugby at Gloucester following a move from Leicester in the summer. He adds diversity to the midfield as he has a strong kicking game and great handling ability. He formerly played in the number 10 jersey earlier in his career before he became a regular in the inside centre spot this year for Gloucester. With a try in his debut game against Scotland and a solid per-

formance in the game against Ireland, he may just add the verve and flair that is missing in the English midfield.

Mike Brown has also been an absolute revelation playing on the wing and

keeping the likes of Ben Foden out of the team is no mean feat.

Owen Farrell has also raised his hand for a spot on the British Lions tour this summer with two exceptional games

“England have been thoroughly impressive... with a strong start to the Six Nations, nothing less than a Grand Slam will be expected of the England team ” continuing his great international form from the autumn. In a game played in awful conditions against Ireland at Dublin’s Aviva Stadium, it was a masterstroke to have the skills of the Harlequins fullback sweeping up the kicks at the back along with Alex Goode. The pair have played exceptionally well and

against Scotland and Ireland. He has shown over the past year that he has the temperament for international rugby and is now showing the attacking talent required to be a world class ten. With the injury to Jonny Sexton, Farrell has the chance to make a case for the test team on the British Lions tour.

Wales’ Sam Warburton Photography: Getty Images

Wales

Sir Clive Woodward has hailed Wales’ recent 16-6 victory in Paris as their best ever. This is some statement, considering their 19-26 win at Twickenham in 2008, Warren Gatland’s first game in charge catapulting them to another Grand Slam. Having been at Twickenham on that historic day, it is perhaps fairer to say that England shot themselves in the foot with Ian Balshaw making his last blunder for England: his charged down kick was the writing on the wall for Brian Ashton. Winning in Paris is special. I remember England doing it in 2002; Betsen’s frustrated late tackle on Wilkinson and Noon’s tackle on Heymans in 2008 inspiring a win.

Like John Inverdale, I am finding it far too tempting to talk about England, but there is a point. These games are defined by a moment, but Wales did not have that ‘moment’. They beat France for the whole 80 minutes. Leigh Halfpenny’s goal kicking kept them out of reach and George North’s brilliant try was thoroughly deserved. One might say that France were horribly out of sorts, Michalak was woeful, but Wales had a lot of attacking possession in the first half, albeit not converted to points.

Woodward’s statement is vindicated further considering that Wales had lost

Despite England’s success, the question has to be raised over the open side flanker position. Although they might be able to get away with playing Chris Robshaw at seven in the Six Nations, to compete consistently at the highest level alongside New Zealand, Australia and South Africa they will have to find an out and out seven. The likes of Pocock and McCaw provide quick ball and are the basis and foundation of their team.

With a strong start to the Six Nations, nothing less than a Grand Slam will be expected of the England team. They have overcome Scotland and a strong Ireland team but consistency is the key.

With tough away fixtures against France and Wales still to come, there is no doubt that it will be a stern challenge, but with the high standards of the current team, they will expect to win both games whilst defeating Italy in a potential banana skin game in between.

Patrick Castleden their last eight games, creating a pressure which would eclipse that felt by the French after losing to the Azzuri. Before the win in Paris, people were querying: “What has happened to Wales?” Warren Gatland’s Lions sabbatical seems to have been pivotal as Wales promptly lost their next five tests, all at the Millenium stadium, which included Samoa and Argentina. Refusal to select James Hook is an obvious error and injuries have also been crucial. Again, referring to Sir Clive and his infinite wisdom, Wales, without the luxury of strength in depth, rely on a strong starting XV. This is particularly true in the forwards, where injuries to the likes of Alun Wyn Jones, Dan Lydiate and Sam Warburton have been pivotal.

Dan Lydiate’s recent absence seemed to affect Warburton. As a pair, the two were the stars of last year’s Grand Slam, and he has not found the form that had him being a shoe-in for the Lions’ 7 shirt. Much is being made of the fact that Wales are keeping the same XV for their trip to Italy and therefore Warburton, who is back fit, will be on the bench. Yet objectively, rugby is not alone as a sport in its capriciousness on selections; form is key and Ryan Jones, who presently wears the armband that Warburton feels should be his, were immense in Paris.

Wales now have Italy and Scotland away. The smart money would be on Wales as Italy had a crash back to reality against Scotland last week and Scotland can only ever beat Italy. Finally, they’ll face England in Cardiff, hopefully progressing to their first Grand Slam in ten years, but Wales on the back of three wins may well be competing for the championship, not that any incentive is required when it comes to beating England.

George Grace

ITALY

FRANCE

150/1

125/1

The Courier

featuressport.43

Monday 18 February 2013

Ireland’s Jamie Heaslip Photography: Getty Images

Ireland

Following a disappointing tournament last year, Ireland started this year’s Six Nations Championships with a point to prove. Their opening game against Wales showed that they intended to go all the way. Winning impressively, 30 – 22 to the 2012 champions had a lot to do with one man: Brian O’Driscoll. The Irish outside centre had feared missing this year’s Six Nations due to an on-going injury and had dropped the bombshell that this could be his last Six Nations prior to the tournament’s start.

However, having lost the captaincy to Leinster teammate, Jamie Heaslip, he seemed determined to return to the rugby world with a bang, earning a man of the match performance at the Millennium Stadium. His sublime trypreventing tackle against Ian Evans and a beauty of a pass to set up Irish winger, Simon Zebo to score, plus scoring himself, showed he is still young enough and fit enough to play for his country.

From a rugby veteran to a rising star: Ulster winger Craig Gilroy also had an impressive start to the campaign. Early

Scotland’s Kelly Brown Photography: Getty Images

Scotland ‘Confidence is the key to victory’, according to Scotland rugby coach Scott Johnson, following his side’s win against the Italians. This may be true, but I am sure most would agree that Scottish rugby is lacking slightly more than a confidence boost. With a win and a loss in their 2013 Six Nations campaign, Scotland look to have avoided their traditional fears of the wooden spoon, but how far can this Scottish team go in the tournament?

Since 2006, Scotland have not won more than one match in each Six Nations. Therefore, if we were to go by statistics, following their victory over Italy, should they bow out now? Surely not.

Five of the Scottish players made it into the official RBS Six Nations ‘team of the weekend’ following the second round of matches, which is bound to boost that confidence needed for victory. They have been beaten by the favorites and victorious over the Italians, both of which could be seen as predictable results. Therefore, we may have to wait until their clash with Ireland this

in the game, he caught wind of the effective Welsh overlap that they used continuously to break the Irish defensive line. A highlight of the match (from an Irish perspective) was the bullish hit from Gilroy on the Welsh fullback to prevent Wales from narrowing the point deficit to one.

Despite a promising start to the tournament, things went wayward in the second match. There was no home advantage for Ireland as the English squad seemed to thrive off the atmosphere in the Aviva. The Irish side lacked urgency from the whistle, failing to replicate the

it difficult to find touch at crucial times in the game. When kicking for touch from a penalty, he failed to put Ireland in opportune positions. When faced with in form Owen Farrell as the opposite number, there was no room for error as the English fly half secured the first Six Nations victory for England in Dublin in ten years.

A further blow came when Irish winger, Zebo, was forced to go off after breaking a foot, putting him out for the rest of the tournament. Frustration showed with Cian Healey losing his cool and stomping on Dan Cole in theruck.

“Andrew Trimble and Darren Cave... will hopefully bring a new lease of life to the Irish team”

same spark and inventive play from the weekend before. The line out was the sole area Ireland impressed in. The only real try opportunity came in the first half after pressuring an English throwin. Gilroy found himself in possession, before passing out wide to Keith Earls, who was into England’s twenty two. He popped a pass to Kearny who made a few metres before the attack was disrupted by the relentless English defence.

Opportunity missed.

At the half hour mark, things went from bad to worse. Ireland’s up and coming golden boy, Jonny Sexton, suffered a hamstring injury. O’Gara replaced him, but a lack of pitch time showed for Ireland’s all-time leading point scorer. Although he was given little to work with off the back of the scrum, O’Gara found

Ireland appeared to have lost all composure and discipline. The game was lost due to an umpteen amount of handling errors - Ireland seemed unable to do the simple things right. A lackadaisical approach from the Irish backs also meant there was little drive forward, with most of the game played on the back foot.

With injury doubts over Gordon D’Arcy and Keith Earls, the next game against Scotland will no doubt be a struggle.

However, Kidney has called up Andrew Trimble and Darren Cave who have both had impressive seasons for Ulster and will hopefully bring a new lease of life to the Irish team, and put Ireland back into contention for the championship.

coming weekend to assess the Scottish squad’s full potential.

Scotland began their 2013 campaign at Twickenham, attempting to replace the 1983 team as the last to win the Calcutta cup at the English home ground. It had only been 30 years since the last Scottish victory in London, how hard could it be? With Scotland’s Sean Maitland scoring the first try of the game in the 10th minute, that confidence of theirs was bound to be boosted. However, England did not waste time in stepping up their game. Owen Farrell, proving that he could well be England’s ‘Perfect 10’, was impressive throughout, which contributed to the 38-18 final score in England’s favour. When comparing Farrell to Scotland’s fly half Ruaridh Jackson, there really was no contest. Jackson had an uncomfortable game, and his kicking did little to show off his ability.

Some positives could be taken from the game, however, with Stuart Hogg being a key player, identifying the weakness in the opposition team well. The Scottish number 8 Beattie also had a very good game, but the front five had a rough afternoon and it was clear that the midfield needed some work. England were coming into the game expecting to defeat their Auld rivals, having beaten the All Blacks at the end of last year, and they were not to be proved wrong.

Scotland’s first match at Murrayfield was a different story. The Italians, like the English with their All Blacks win, were coming into this match on a high.

Having beaten the French the week before, what did the Azzurri have to worry about in Edinburgh? Stuart Hogg was more than happy to rain on the Italian’s parade. With impressive tries for the Scottish backs, Scotland came out vic-

torious with a 34-10 win.

The display was far from perfect, but in reality a rugby game is rarely won on perfection. Clearly confidence was the key to victory at Murrayfield, and also the determination to ensure that they did not finish last overall in the competition. Furthermore, the Scottish home ground is always an advantage for the team, as Scott Johnson pointed out in an interview this week. With the Irish and Welsh teams both making the journey to Murrayfield in the weeks to come, Scotland need to make sure they make the most of their passionate home support.

‘Scotland targeting Six Nations Glory after Victory’ was just one of the positive headlines following their victory over the Italians. Yet with Scottish sport there is always the worry of speaking too soon. We only need to look at Andy Murray and his ‘nearly- but –not- quite’ reputation. However, if Scotland stick to basics and play with the confidence they did against the Italians, we definitely cannot rule out the underdogs. Scotland’s new forward coach, Dean Ryan, stated before the Italian game that the simple things in their game come first.

The Irish fly half Jonathan Sexton has also been ruled out of the game against Scotland next weekend, another benefit to the home side. If the likes of Stuart Hogg, Sean Maitland and Tim Visser continue to play well in the upcoming weekends, Scotland stand a chance of winning another, if not more, than just their usual solitary game.

The young talent in the side, along with some self-belief and maybe a little bit of luck, will be crucial in their remaining matches.

Lauren Dagg

SCOTLAND

IRELAND

40/1

6/1

Francessca Fitzsimmons

WALES

11/2

Italy’s Sergio Parisse Photography: Getty Images

Italy “Forza Italia” was the cry which rang out at the Stadio Olimpico as Italy recorded only their third win of all time against France to take the Giuseppe Garibaldi Trophy and ensure they would not take this year’s wooden spoon. It is sometimes frustrating to hear pundits and journalists comment on Italy’s dominance in the tight against teams. They are often accused of dragging opponents down to “their level” and making a mockery of the competition. Their experienced pack of test veterans such as Andrea Lo Cicero, and Leicester Tigers Rasputin-esque warrior, Martin Castrogiovanni, certainly pack a punch.

They are stewarded from the back of the scrum by the mercurial captain (and my secret man-crush), Sergio Parisse.

Against France their backs showed they are not so shabby either. Luciano Orquera’s darting snipes at the line caused havoc for France within in the first five minutes as he breezed past a portly French prop to send the majestical Parisse over in the corner. Alberto

France’s Pascal Pepe Photography: Getty Images

France Fresh from an ugly defeat to Wales, handing them their first win in eight consecutive matches, France are feeling the heat in their tumultuous start to the Six Nations. Originally the favorites at the start of the Championships, France have fallen to the bottom of the table. The turgid display in Paris, and in their earlier match against Italy, has left them looking uninspired and in much need of a revival in their upcoming match against current leaders England at Twickenham. This will prove to be an additional feat for the French, for they have not won at Twickenham since 2005.

Despite Wales’ own woes before Saturday’s match, Leigh Halfpenny and George North both assisted in lifting the team above the French. The rocksolid defense halted any momentum that France earned in brief moments.

In the 73rd minute, Dan Biggar set up North to earn a try. Two minutes later, Halfpenny solidified the win, 16-6 for the Welsh with a further penalty between the posts. The shock of backto-back losses for the French side may

Sgarbi and the exciting young talents of Tomaso Benvenuti and Giovanbattista Venditti were not afraid to have a go at Les Bleus in attack and defence, the latter being the impetus for Castrogiovanni to go over for his twelfth test try.

One could argue that Italy’s success was caused by France’s poor squad selection. The decision to give Freddie Michalak the No.10 jersey had heads shaking from Brest to Bordeaux in bemusement that a man, who has spent most of this season playing understudy to Jonny Wilkinson at Toulon, had been selected ahead of the slick distributor that is Francois Trinh-Duc. The selection of Wesley Fofana on the wing, who is primarily a centre and one who has been carving defences apart for fun in the Top 14 and Heineken Cup for Cleremont Auvergne, was to the detriment of France as former No. 8 Sebastian Chabal tweeted “Oh Merde”.

Yet the new-found optimism was to be short-lived as Italy were overwhelmed

by Scotland’s technical prowess in front of a lively Murrayfield crowd. The likes of Orquera and Parisse were woeful when compared to the previous week’s performance. Scotland’s outside backs did not help the cause of the Azzuri in particular; Alistair Hogg and Tim Visser constantly looked dangerous whenever they got the ball, the former going 70 metres to touch down for the Scots as Italy were humbled 34-10. Nonetheless, there is a solid foundation for Italy who will no doubt be targeting wins against depleted Wales and Ireland as they begin to make the Stadio Olimpico their very own colosseum.

George Clarke have been felt with much disarray due to their excellent form mere months ago in November when they clean swept Australia, Argentina, and Samoa.

It is the first time since 1982 that France has started the Six Nations with two defeats. France’s coach Philippe Saint-Andre sees change in the dynamics of the squad as the only viable option to rouse change. Saint-Andre has made five adjustments to the group for the trip to England. Vincent Clerc will be returning after missing the first two matches due to a thigh injury. The return of experienced wing Clerc will most likely allow Wesley Fofana to return to his usual position at centre.

Fofana had started the Italy and Wales games on the wing, despite it not being his rightful position. Clerc will hopefully prove to be the needed addition to the downcast team as he has scored 34 tries in 63 games for France. The squad will also gain flanker Antonie Claassen, lock Chistophe Samson, flanker Yannick Nyanga, and prop Thomas Domingo. The gains come at the expense of centre Maxime Mermoz, loose forwards Damien Chouly and Fulgence Ouedraogo, prop Yannick Forestier and lock Romain Taofifenua — all of whom have been dropped from the line-up.

France’s changes to the squad might not be enough to earn a victory over England at Twickenham on February 23rd, but it will at least rejuvenate the playing field. After England’s impressive display over Ireland in Dublin on February 13th, France is going to need more than brawn to come back against the top team. And while their pride is wounded, Saint-Andre is optimistic that they can at least win back respect.

Julia Dwyer

ENGLAND

2/7 All Photography: Getty Images/ All bets: William Hill

44.sportintramural

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

Medic two’s stay in title hunt Wednesday Division 1

When you can physically hear the wind howling snow at a forty five degree angle across the pitch, you know it is unlikely that tiki taka is going to be the kind of football on display. With snow covering the pitch, despite both sides trying to keep the ball

striker Josh Batham. Soon after the Medics goalkeeper was also guilty of misjudging the wind, and gave away a penalty as a result.

However, he atoned for his error by saving the spot-kick. The Medics mopped up the game in the final ten minutes with Batham completing his hattrick and Man of the Match Tom Needham also bagging a goal.

The first minute was illustrative of the sign of things to come. A speculative long shot was fumbled by the Crayola keeper, and the Medics just failed to capitalise.

Two minutes later and the Crayola keeper, distinctly clad in a bright luminous yellow kit, made a second mistake for Bullock to square the ball to Batham, who in turn grabbed his 19th goal of the season.

It was a fairly aimless high ball that nearly gave Crayola the equaliser. After a ball was humped up from the back, the Medics keeper looked favourite to claim the seemingly hopeless clearance.

However, Crayola centre midfielder Theo Strong never gave up on the chase. The wind caught the ball at the last minute allowing the playmaker to get to it first. As a fine example of nominative determinism, Strong held the keeper off, before being hauled down as he was about to shoot, leading to a clear penalty.

The usually prolific Tom Womersley stepped up. However, the

on the deck, it was almost impossible to string several passes together with the ball skidding and slipping out of players’ control.

It appears the conditions settled the game in the early stages, with a mistake from the Crayola goalkeeper being capitalised on clinically by in-form Medics

penalty was poor, waist height to the keepers left, making for a relatively simple save.

Medics captain Neil Dalton had decided to play a rather Italian 3-5-2 formation, which was working well for his team. It enabled centre midfielders Dalton, Needham and Dave Swetman to keep possession well, whilst

Medic 2’s

4

Batham 3, 13, 78, Needham 90

Crayola

0

By Ralph Blackburn at Longbenton

Conley Mysko Gardiner

Tam

Dalton (c) Rhodes Swetman Needham Hindley Bullock

Batham

Womesley

Eaton Grace

Turner Hodgson

Strong

Priestley

Royle Hetherington

Burns

Rennie

“Batham has 21 goals in 8 games.

It may well be his scoring proweess that take the Medics to the title”

League Tables

A Medics player looks to turn his man Photography: Ralph Blackburn

Guy Hindley looked a threat throughout playing as a left wing back. The formation was brought back into recent fashion by Walter Mazzarri of Napoli. Fittingly the Medics have their very own Edinson Cavani in Batham.

Whilst not having the flowing locks of the Uruguayan, Batham has a similar knack for getting goals, and he picked up his second of the game in the 13th minute.

Hindley whipped the ball in from the left and, after a slight deflection, it fell to Batham by the penalty spot. He duly made no mistake, and it looked as if the game had gotten away from Crayola already.

However, the blue and whites began to force their way back into the game, as Strong began to make a few runs deeper into the Medics’ half with Womersley flashing a half chance wide.

As the second half started, with the wind getting ever heavier, it was clear that the main chances were going to come from corners and long balls. It was conditions that even Stoke would have struggled playing under, let alone Leo Messi. However the Medics central midfield did well to try and create passing triangles.

Crayola’s forwards began to move into the channels more, and both Womersley and Eaton

flashed balls across the box that were inches away from being turned into the net.

In the 78th minute Batham finally got his hat-trick. After some neat interplay down the left between Hindley and Needham, the ball was crossed to Batham.

Despite his first shot being blocked, he calmly slotted the second into the net. Batham has now got 21 goals in eight games.

It may well be his goals that take the Medics to the title.

As Crayola poured more and more men forward, they were looking increasingly threadbare at the back, and in the 90th minute Needham got the goal his

play deserved. After picking up the ball from Bullock on a swift counter attack, he held off the defender and slotted in cooly under the keeper.

Whilst there were few clear cut chances throughout the match, on the balance of play the Medics deserved their win.

They continue to lead the table to the surprise of many, however it is little more than they deserve.

The Medics derby on Wednesday the 6th of March will surely decide the season, with the 1sts winning by the same scoreline against Dyslexic Untied.

Man of the Match: Tom Needham

Wednesday 11 a-side Football

Division 1 1

Division 13

Division 2

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Newcastle Medics 2nds

8

6

1

1

31

12

19

1

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Ecosoccer

5

5

0

0

15

5

15

1

Division 41

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Pld Pld WW

DD

LL

Jesmondino FC

5

4

1

0

27

8

13

1 1 Sub-Standard Barca Law NaLiege

Team Team

7 12

49

21

1 2 3450 1915 14 28

F F AA

Pts Pts

2

Newcastle Medics 1sts

7

6

0

1

34

5

18 2

The Hurricanes

6

5

0

1

21

13

15

2

Brown Magic FC

6

4

0

2

17

13

12

2 2 FCNewcastle Bayern Toonich Medics 1sts

5 12

48

12

0 2 3036 9 20 13 26

3

Henderson Hall FC

5

3

1

1

13

10

10

3

Aftermath FC

5

3

0

2

20

15

9

3

Politic Thistle FC

7

3

1

3

17

18

10

3 3 Thundercats Henderson Hall

5 12

37

11

1 4 2941 9 29 10 22

4

Barca-Law-Na

5

2

0

3

19

13

6

4

Roman Villa FC

6

2

0

4

11

17

6

4

Newcastle Dynamos

6

3

1

2

9

11

10

Dyslexic Untied 4 4 The Establishment

5 12

36

01

2 5 1632 1226

919

5

Dyslexic Untied

4

2

0

4

11

21

6

5

Lokomotiv

5

1

1

3

16

20

4

5

Newhist FC

7

3

1

3

15

19

10

5 5 Geomatics Crayola FC

6 12

25

00

4 7 1518 1822

615

6

Crayola

5

2

0

3

8

18

3

6

Boca Seniors

5

1

1

3

12

18

4

6

Multiple Scoregasms

5

0

1

4

7

13

1

6 (R) Trigger Happy Aftermath

6 12

23

00

4 9 1414 3447

69

7

Borussia Forsyth

6

0

0

6

7

36

0

7

Castle Leazes

6

1

0

5

7

14

3

7

Bio Neverlosen

4

0

1

3

2

12

1

7 (R) Crystal CastlePhallus Leazes

6 12

01

01

6 10 5 12 4242

04

Top Goalscorers

7: Hurworth (Barca)

Top Goalscorers

4: Stacey (Ecosoccer)

Top Goalscorers

21: Batham (Medic 2s)

4: Robson (Dyslexic), Holt (Medics 2s), Womersley (Crayola), Hoctor (Barca)

15: Duckworth (Hurricanes)

3: Golzari (Aftermath), Bond (Ecosoccer), Jones (Leazes)

10: Thornton (Politic Thistle)

10: Campbell (Medic 1s),

Fixtures - 20/2/13

5: McCrory (Hurricanes), Jones (Afterm’th), Wilson (Afterm’th)

Division One Newcastle Medics 2nds vs Henderson Cl. House 2.00pm Dyslexic vs Barca-Law-Na Longbenton Grass 2.00pm Borussia Forsyth vs Crayola Longbenton 3G 8.00pm

Division Two The Hurricanes vs Lokomotiv Close House 2 2.00pm Aftermath FC vs Ecosoccer Longbenton Grass 1 2.00pm Castle Leazes vs Boca Srs Redhall 5 2.00pm

6: Smith (Jesmondino),

Division Three Dynamos vs Scoregasms Bio vs Politic Thistle Jesmondino vs Brown Magic

3:Wren (Brown Magic) Walton (Newhist)

Top Goalscorers 21: Wimshurst (SubStandard Liege)

2: Grosvenor (Scorgasms),, Rowe (Brown Magic), Leddin- 10: Armour (Toonich) ton Hill (Brown Magic) 7: Prichard (Thundercats)

Close House 3 2.00pm Close House 4 2.00pm Longbenton 3G 3.45pm

6: O’Callaghan (Toonich) 5: Page (Toonich), (Thundercats)

Harley

Division Four Geomatics vs Trigger Happy Longbenton Grass 3 2.00pm Thundercats vs Sub-Standard Redhall 4 2.00pm Bayern Toonich vs Establishment Close House 5 2.00pm

The Courier

bucssport.45

Monday 18 February 2013

Two’s take their eye off the Ball

Men’s Football

Newcastle 3rds 4 Fraser 22, Hussain 46, Ball 50, 62

Newcastle 2nds 3 Goodier 44, Colpitts, 54, Scutt 69

By Nick Gabriel at Longbenton

Rawson

ArmshawBowen

Pilkington

Whybrow O’Collins

Stokle

Hussain

Alex

Babos

Ball

Fraser

Colpitts Scutt

Goodier

Randalls Watson Leydon

Southgate

Norman

Holden

Taylor

Irvine

Newcastle’s 3rd team shocked the BUCS footballing world last Wednesday, as they battled to a 4-3 win over Newcastle’s 2nd team at a freezing Longbenton.

A brace from winger Adam Ball along with a goal apiece for Dhan Hussain and Chris Fraser proved enough to secure the surprise result for the ‘home’ side, with Robbie Goodier, Dave Colpitts and Henry Scutt responding for the ‘visitors’.

The 3’s came into the fixture rooted to the bottom of the BUCS Northern 4B division. As such it came as a surprise when they began the brighter of the two sides, clearly less fazed by the hellish weather conditions.

Five minutes in, they thought they had broken the deadlock,

only for their celebrations to be cut short as striker Joe Babos had his headed effort ruled out for offside.

The 3rd’s however continued to press, and were eventually rewarded for their spell of early dominance when their two frontmen, who linked up extremely well throughout the encounter, combined to score the game’s opening goal.

On this occasion, a through ball from Babos rolled beautifully into the path of his strike partner Fraser. The forward then showed great composure to slot the ball past onrushing goalkeeper, Nick Irvine, to give his side the lead.

With the 2’s still struggling to gain a foothold in the gain, the 3’s probably should have doubled their advantage minutes later. With a number of unmarked team mates screaming for the square pass, Ball opted to go for goal, only for his effort to be heroically blocked by 2’s centrehalf Eddy Holden.

Things did get worse for the 2’s with 20 minutes gone. Following an excellent piece of goalkeeping from Irvine that saw him bravely dive on the ball at the feet of an attacker, the shot-stopper had to come off soon after, sighting trouble with his vision as the cause.

With no reserve goalkeeper, substitute defender Chris Vant was forced to come on and deputise between the sticks.

With the odds seemingly beginning to stack up against the so far lacklustre 2nd team, the few spectators who opted to brave the winter wonderland that had descended on Longbenton could have been forgiven for expecting the 2nd’s to fold completely.

However, with their backs up against the proverbial wall, the 2nd’s appeared to adapt a siege mentality that eventually saw them draw level on the stroke of half time with their first real chance of the game.

Approaching the interval, they

Two players challenge for an aerial ball amidst the unrelenting snow Photography: Nick Gabriel

began to dictate the play as the 3rd’s dropped deeper, seemingly content on preserving their lead.

With their first clear cut opportunity of the half, the 2nd’s levelled, as Goodier was on hand to stab home a loose ball in the opposition penalty area.

The second period began in frantic fashion. First, the 3’s regained the lead when Hussain met a low ball into the box from the left-hand side with a neat side-footed finish.

Soon after, with the 2nd’s seemingly mentally still in the changing room, the unrelentening 3’s increased their advantage.

Following a neat cut back from Fraser to the edge of the box, Ball had the time to control the ball, set himself, and guide a superb curling effort in over the

underside of the bar, giving the stand-in keeper no chance.

The 2’s then reduced the deficit back to one, as Colpitts finished a neat move down the righthand side with a controlled finish.

Nevertheless the 3’s were to regain their two-goal cushion five minutes later, with Ball notching his second of the game. This time, after a shot from Babos had been parried across goal by Vant, Ball had the simplest of tasks in rolling the ball home into the unguarded net.

Similar to the snow, the hectic start to the second half showed no sign of stopping, with the 2’s yet again reducing the deficit back to one within minutes.

The 3rd’s opted to take a risk from a goalkick, taking a short

one as a way of building an attack from the back. However, a break down in communication between goalkeeper Scott Rawson and centre-half Charles Pilkington resulted in a misplaced pass from the keeper, enabling the alertful Scutt to nip in and dispatch the simplest of opportunities to drag his side back within touching distance.

With the second half beginning at such a frantic pace, it came as little surprise when the pace of the game began to slow.

The 3’s defence held strong, as the 2’s tried to muster the energy to find that elusive equaliser.

Their best chance of the remaining quarter fell to Colpitts but he was well denied by a smart save by Rawson, low and to his left.

In spite of their attempts at hiking the ball into the box at every setpiece opportunity, as the game drew to its latter stages, it was the 3rd’s who looked the more likely to trouble the scores further.

Babos drilled an effort into the side netting from a narrow angle, before Fraser saw his goalbound effort dramatically cleared off the line by a desperately retreating Conor Southgate.

The referee called time on the affair soon after. The shock result sees the 3rds pick up their second win of a heavily disrupted season, moving up to fourth in the table, just three points behind their so-called superiors.

whipped in a corner which was met by the rising Tom Bond with a well-directed header putting the navy blues 1-0 up. Bond had worked tirelessly in rehab with club physio Jon Dennis to overcome his injury stricken season and deserves all the media praise that comes his way.

ping ability in the 5-a-side circuit, had an immediate impact between the sticks with a fine reflex save to maintain the lead.

Thereafter, Eco defenders Homer and Smith gave a lesson in ‘good old fashioned center back defending’ by throwing their bodies in the way of anything

ated multiple openings on the counter attack. Stacey and Bond were both kind enough to warm the hands of Villa’s Will Street in goal before Dan Jacobs pulled out an overhead kick, destined for the back of the net, only to be denied when a Villa defender headed it onto the bar.

However, in search of the equaliser, Eco exploited space in behind Villa’s defence when Stacey ran onto Wheelers pin point 60 yard free kick. Stacey then picked out Bond in the area who then secured a deserved brace and the points for Eco. Ecosoccer will be happy to see the back of Roman Villa as on both occasions they were pushed all the way by a team looking to secure themselves in the dizzy heights of Division 2. Meanwhile in the style of Rafa Benitez, captain Warren is only “concentrating on the next game” to be in

the reckoning come “squeaky bum time” at the business end of the season.

Man of the Match: Jake Weltart

Man of the Match: Joe Babos

Bond only scores twice Wednesday Division 2 Ecosoccer

2

Bond 35, 90

Roman Villa

0

By Rob Stacey at Close House Despite Met Office weather warnings across the North East, Close House was deemed playable in blizzard-like conditions, despite supporters of both teams facing difficulty travelling to watch the clash between Ecosoccer and Roman Villa.

Unfortunately for Eco, routine hot weather altitude training abroad during the extended winter break was out of budget, and they had to cope with sub-

freezing temperatures to get back into the swing of things.

Ecosoccer found it difficult to get a foothold in the game during the early stages as Roman Villa, attacking with the wind, were first to any loose balls and tried to play on the drenched and bumpy surface. This game was a vital learning experience for recent signing Jake Dolby, as the youngster recorded his most impressive performance in navy blue, since being recruited by the extensive Eco scouting system, with some neat and composed touches in the center of the park to give Eco the impetus to keep possession, which was vital against a man of the opponent of Taylor Jones’ quality.

Chances were few and far between and it seemed the only opening would come via a set piece, which duly happened. On the half hour mark Will Finelli

“Bond had worked tirelessly in rehab with club physio Jon Dennis to overcome his injury stricken season” With maths being a strong point for the economist, they knew a clean sheet would be all they needed to secure the win at the break. Villa striker Ben Bamfield was sent clean through on a one on one, but newly introduced Eco keeper Fred Miles, widely known for his shot stop-

and were equally supported by full backs Dennis and Wheeler to maintain their title as the tightest defensive unit in all of Intra Mural.

As Eco continued to soak up the pressure, fellow youngster George Loy was proving an outlet for his team as he cre-

Street

Barton

Oliver

Meyrick (c) Jones

Black

Norris

Millington

Ullyot

Bamfield Wilcock

Bond

Stacey

Loy

Finelli Warren (c) Wheeler

Smith

Weltart Homer

Miles

Dennis

46.sportbucs

Monday 18 February 2013

The Courier

The players ready themselves for a face-off Photography: Jack Legind

Wildcats mauled by Bears

Men’s Ice Hockey

Newcastle C Team

2

Sheffield C Team

10

By Jack Legind in Whitley Bay Newcastle Wildcats C team were punished for defensive lapses by the Sheffield Bears Cs as they were beaten 10-2 at Whitley Bay, in a game that was all but over after a poor ten-minute spell.

The Wildcats did start the game arguably the better side, with Alex Thompson coming close to opening the scoring with 18:20 left in the first period.

But the warning signs were there for all to see, as the Wildcats defence had to deal with early breakaway chances, despite being on the powerplay after a penalty for slashing was given to the Bears’ #40.

Sheffield’s penalty killing unit did its job however as, even before they returned to their full complement of players, Chris Clapham, Jono Lipfriend and Jess Ward had to be on their guard to snuff out the Sheffield attacks. Meanwhile, Wildcats netminder Tom Sproule was equal to anything that did manage to get through.

That wasn’t the case however in the

9th minute, when a speculative effort from the edge of the offensive zone slipped through two defenders and past the glove of Sproule.

Joe Boustead almost equalised for Newcastle immediately, but his wrist shot flew just past the far post, before Henry Todd saw his effort blocked by the Bears’ defence.

Sheffield however continued to press, and when Ward was robbed of possession in the Wildcats’ defensive zone, the Sheffield forward’s quick turn and shot evaded the defense and nestled into the corner of the net to give the Bears a 2-0 lead.

With the Wildcats struggling to get any further hold in the game, Sheffield extended their advantage by a further

He also got a big chunk of the puck as the Bears got their fourth, but the shot had too much pace on it and still crept in off the pads.

Sheffield’s fifth came via an unfortunate deflection which couldn’t be stopped by anybody in white.

Soon after the Bears were given a powerplay as Dan Miller was given a minor penalty for tripping.

It took Sheffield just 7 seconds to take advantage of their extra man on the ice, as they scored a sixth to cut Miller’s time in the penalty box to a minimum and take them to the end of the first period with a seemingly unassailable 6-goal lead.

The second period started with Sheffield continuing where they left off,

“Thompson was handed a penalty for fielding illegal equipment, as his chin strap came undone during play ” four goals in the last five minutes of the first period.

It could have been more if not for Sproule, who saved well from a one on one situation just after conceding the third goal.

extending their lead to 7 after 2:31, as Sproule could do nothing to stop fierce shot.

Thompson almost got the Wildcats on the scoreboard straight from the resulting faceoff, but after taking the puck

through the Bears’ defence. he was offbalance as the resulting shot failed to seriously trouble the Bears’ NM. Sproule then pulled off several top saves to keep the Bears’ advantage at 7, including doing incredibly well with a two on one situation that had the amassed home support fearful of what looked like a certain eighth goal.

After conceding so quickly on the previous powerplay, Wildcats fans were fearing the worst after Thompson was handed a bizarre (but ultimately correct) penalty for fielding “illegal equipment” as his chin strap came undone during a play.

But Sproule and the Wildcats defence dealt with everything that the Bears and their powerplay unit shot at them.

The score remained at 7-0, with the shots 28-16 in the Bears’ favour, until the 12th minute of the 2nd period.

This time Sheffield’s #72 scored a good goal that the Wildcats NM couldn’t get to, as it ricocheted off the post and into the back of the net to make it 8-0.

With just two and a half minutes remaining in the second period, the Wildcats did eventually give the fans something to cheer.

Paddy Cullen’s original shot was blocked, only for the rebound to fall to none other than George Littlewood, who made it 8-1 as he pinged the puck off the underside of the crossbar and into the goal, cueing large cheers and rapturous applause from the home fans.

With the end of the second period approaching, D-man Clapham ventured

forwards on the left wing, nutmegging a Bear before taking a heavy touch and ending up body checking a different Sheffield player in an alleged attempt to regain possession.

The third period began with the Wildcats still trailing by 8 goals to 1, but Clapham reduced the deficit just 43 seconds into the third, with captain Cullen again providing the assist.

With 16:26 left on the clock, Richard Wardle was given a penalty for body checking, handing Sheffield their third powerplay chance of the game. The Wildcats penalty kill did well, but as Wardle’s two minutes came to an end and he was skating back into the fray, Sheffield’s extra man did get them a ninth goal.

13 seconds after the ninth, the Bears added a tenth, as the Wildcats defence were slow to react from the faceoff to concede again.

The game’s final piece of action came with a minute to go, as Littlewood was found guilty of slashing and sent to the penalty box for the remainder of the game, but Tom Sproule pulled off a couple of great saves to keep the score the same.

Speaking after the game,Wildcats captain Paddy Cullen labeled the performance a “good team effort”.

He continued that “collective defensive lapses ultimately cost the home side a result, in what looked a winnable game” Man of the Match: George Littlewood

The Courier

bucssport.47

Monday 18 February 2013

Mixed fortunes on the high seas Sailing

By Chris Woods in Leeds Last weekend, after several months training and going to events around the country, Newcastle sailing team headed to Leeds to compete in the northern qualifier for the University sailing championship.

With the recent snow and several of the boats at the wrong sailing club, the three teams hadn’t had as much practice as they had hoped. However, as everyone managed to arrive at the Robinson library on time for once, things looked promising.

Even more incredible was the fact that everyone had brought all their kit.

It made a welcome change to have no last minute dashes back to halls to pick up wetsuits or student cards. We were starting to look like an actual organised club.

Having arrived at the luxury Travelodge accommodation by the side of the M1, all sailors were told to get a good night’s sleep by our unprecedentedly organised captain, Kathryn Law. Most obeyed and headed to their beds, but a select few made a midnight trek to the not so local Asda in search of a nightcap or two. Despite best efforts, the party would have to wait.

Early the next morning eighteen fresh-faced Newcastle students arrived at a picturesque, but not so windy Wintersett reservoir .

After a hearty breakfast and a bit of waiting, the wind started to fill in, allowing the organisers to get the races underway.

Even though it arrived, the wind did not make for easy racing. With strong gusts that were constantly changing direction, all the racers had to be on their toes if they wanted to avoid taking an unscheduled dip in the icy waters.

The seconds eased their way into the

competition with a win and a loss, not a bad start considering the tricky conditions.

Meanwhile the thirds struggled against tough competition from a strong Liverpool outfit and our own first team, taking two losses. In spite of this, they kept their heads high and tried to learn from the experience.

Sean Whelan briefly fell foul of the strong wind and sent his crew, Victoria Haworth, for a quick dip. However, the pair reacted quickly and recovered their capsized vessel just before the start of the next race and went on to secure another two wins with the first team.

Some confusion in the thirds next race lead to a disqualification, as victory was ripped from their grasp.

This ill fate continued as they mistakenly sailed in the wrong race, and a capsize in their actual race left them still without a win.

Continuing the 50/50 streak of wins and losses, the second team finished the day happy with their results. The first team rounded off the day with strong results against tough opposition, leaving them close to the top of the leader board.

Returning to their service station suites, the teams reflected on the tough day’s sailing and made plans to improve for tomorrow.

With the preparation out of the way, it was definitely time to start drinking! Stopping only to satisfy hungry stomachs, another trip to Asda allowed everyone to stock up on their poison of choice.

Back in the Travelodge the relaxation process began as everyone had a chance to unwind. However, after several warnings and the final threat of being kicked out, the mutual decision was made to get some rest for Sunday’s sailing.

Sunday arrived and with it came a more significant amount of wind. Even with smaller sails on the boats, the conditions proved to be too challenging for some sailors. After only a few races (and

a lot of capsizes), the competition was brought to a premature close. 52% of the scheduled races had been completed, which was just enough for the results to be valid.

This fell against the favour of Newcastle’s primary outfit, who had only had the chance to race the other top teams.

tle, and did well to get the kart home in freezing conditions and recorded a very respectable 17th place finish.

Team captain Abson was the next to race, and was in a strong 13th position before a clash with another kart led to a spin which unfortunately resulted in him finishing down in 30th.

This meant that Caldwell had some hopes of making up some places from starting at the back of the grid in 36th.

Despite not being able to set an electric pace, he at least managed to keep the kart on the tarmac and out of the snow for the majority of the race to finish in 31st.

Spink was the final member of the team to race and was involved in a chaotic start that saw him climb from 28th on the grid up to 17th before being caught up in a multi-kart incident that left him in last place. The race then settled down and he was able to race back up to 30th by the finish, which was some consolation. However there was no hiding from the fact that round 1 of the championship had not gone to plan for Team Newcastle.

Round 2 was to be contested through two one-hour endurance races, with Caldwell and Chalk the first to race.

Caldwell took the first stint and drove a consistent rather than speedy few laps to climb one place from his starting position of 29th.

However just before the first pit stop was due, the drive chain came off the kart, Despite some quick work from the BUKC mechanics, several laps were lost consigning Newcastle to last place.

Chalk was able to get the kart back out on track and set some quick times but too many laps had been lost for him to get back in the race.

After a somewhat disappointing day, a good result was desperately needed in the final race. The pairing of Abson and Spink were ready to deliver from a strong grid position of 7th.

Abson was the first to get in the kart and drove an excellent first stint to get the kart up to second before his pit stop.

There was some drama at this point after the pit crew were run over by an over-enthusiastic fellow competitor, but Abson stepped in to ensure that Spink was able to get back on track in good time.

Spink had the challenge of driving the long middle stint in difficult conditions as the light gradually faded and the track got colder and consequently less

The sailors in action Photography: NUSC

Finishing in 5th meant they missed out on qualifying for the finals by one place.

The second team lost their symmetrical win to loss ratio after “letting” the first team beat them in the very last race, and finished in a respectable 11th place.

The thirds rounded off the competition at the bottom of the table, having

failed to secure that elusive victory.

After a great weekend of sailing and a lot of experience gained, the teams packed up and headed back to the North East. The first team will be returning in several weeks for their second chance to qualify, along with other teams who just missed the cut.

A good day to drive hard Go-Karting

By Freddie Caldwell in Hertfordshire It was with some dismay that the Newcastle motorsport team discovered that the first two rounds of the British Universities Karting Championship (BUKC) had been moved from the relatively local Warden Law circuit near Sunderland to Rye House in Hertfordshire due to the threat of snow in the North East.

The mood in the Newcastle camp was not improved when they arrived in the South to find a thick covering of the white stuff adorning the surrounding landscape. However, the news was that the next day’s racing would go ahead so the team of Paul Abson, Aidan Spink, Daniel Chalk and Freddie Caldwell headed to bed hoping for the best.

Upon arrival at the circuit the next day, there was still some snow in evidence but that track itself had been cleared with the exception of a few treacherous-looking ice patches.

Chalk took on the challenge of the first race in his first competition for Newcas-

Newcastle’s Paul Abson negotiates a corner Photography: Freddie Caldwell grippy. However, he was able to stay out of trouble and put in some quick laps to climb to as high as 4th place before the next stop.

This went much more smoothly than the previous one and resulted in Abson being put back on track in a promising 7th position. He then raced a lightening-fast final stint including several

sub-44 second laps that were close to the fastest of the race. This speed led to a final finishing position of 5th, less than a second ahead of rivals Durham, which made the result even more satisfying.

This was Newcastle’s best finish in an endurance race in recent memory, and gave the team something to take away from their epic journey South.

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 18 February 2013 Issue 1265 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors: Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

NEWCASTLE’S RUGBY LEAGUE 1ST XIII CELEBRATE A RECORD BREAKING SEASON - p.43

WILDCATS MAULED NEWCASTLE’S C TEAM SLIP UP ON THE ICE, p.46 Photography: Jack Legind

SHOCK IN THE SNOW!

Photography: NURL

Northumbria accused of ‘devaluing’ Stan Calvert

By Freddie Caldwell Onlne Sports Editor

T

he controversey surrounding this year’s Stan Calvert continued this week with the news that some clubs are pulling out of the competition. They are protesting at changes to the format that have been made by Northumbria. It has emerged that both the badminton and women’s basketball teams will not compete in the varsity.

As previously reported in The Courier, Northumbria have suggested moving fixtures away from the usual venue of Gateshead International Stadium because they believe that these facilities are inferior to their own. Whilst it may be true that Northumbria’s indoor arenas are impressive and more modern than those at Gateshead, it is a move that has angered many because it means moving away from a neutral venue, which has previously been an integral part of the Stan Calvert experience.

The level of indignation has reached the point where some clubs have felt it necessary to pull out of the competition all together. Emily Waller from the Badminton club said “We felt that pulling out of Stan Calvert this year was the right thing for us, in an attempt to send

the message that Northumbria cannot dictate to us in terms of venues. The general feeling from badminton is that their refusal to use any neutral venues is not only confusing, but completely against the whole ethos of the event, as it used to be.”

The atmosphere of Stan Calvert is vital to the entertainment value of the event so it is understandable that this issue has upset so many people. Another team angered by Northumbria’s proposed changes is women’s basketball; it had been suggested that their fixture be moved to a Friday before the men played which would have lead to clashes with lectures and also removing the game from the atmosphere of Stan Calvert Sunday.

Even though the club turned down this proposal, Northumbria still refused to play at a neutral venue, which has lead to the decision to pull out of Stan Calvert. Women’s basketball president Jacqui Fisher voiced the club’s frustrations saying, “It is a shame that Northumbria is ruining one of the best and most friendly sports competitions around”.

The general sense of annoyance extends to other clubs who are not involved in Stan Calvert, not because they have decided to protest but simply because Northumbria refuses to play the fixture. One example of this is gymnas-

tics where Northumbria have a team but do not enter it into BUCS because they are not expected to do well which means they also refuse to take part in a Stan Calvert match. Tiffany Grantham from Newcastle’s gymnastics club described how they have “really enjoyed competing” in Stan Calvert for the last two years, so much so that the two clubs have arranged a friendly match even though it will not be included in the Stan Calvert result. This brings into question the motives for Northumbria refusing to enter their clubs into the competition when the clubs themselves are willing to compete.

Despite not competing in many sports that have previously been included in the competition, Northumbria have not taken well to some Newcastle teams boycotting the event. They have suggested that they should get the points for any matches which Newcastle refuse to compete in by arguing that BUCS participation is the basis for Stan Calvert as opposed to playing at a neutral venue.

This is a view that will no doubt be disputed by those on the Newcastle side, however even if the points for these fixtures are allocated to Northumbria, they will still need to considerably improve their performance from last year if they want to overturn the 48 point deficit they suffered then.

THIRDS UPSET THE ODDS TO OVERCOME SECONDS, p.45

Photography: Nick Gabriel

HALFTIME REPORT THE COURIER LOOKS AT WHO’S IMPRESSED IN THE SIX NATIONS SO FAR, p.42-43 Photography: Getty Images