YC Magazine, The Legacy Center - March to May 2020

ALSO

Warning Signs of Substance Use

MARCH–MAY 2020

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THE COMPLETE DOWNLOAD ON SCREEN ADDICTION » Who Should You Trust with Your Mental Health? » No Reason to Lose Sleep » What Children Really Need

Why dual enroll?

You can get college credit while you’re in high school.

But there’s more to it than that: • It’s a two-for-one deal. Dual enrollment classes can count toward high school graduation and college credit.

• Dual enrollment classes are usually paid for by your high school. You’ll have the potential to finish college early and pay less overall.

• You can take classes that aren’t available at your high school.

delta.edu/equity 119-125 (11/19)

• College courses broaden your horizon, challenge you and help you dream big.

Delta’s credits transfer.

Tons of courses to choose from.

options for locations, too.

The college credits you earn as a dual enrollment student at Delta can transfer to a lot of places.

Check out what transfers at the Transfer Wizard. (delta.edu/transferwizard)

Last year, a few popular courses were Certified Nursing Assistant, Calculus, Computer Science and more.

Courses are held at all of Delta’s locations, including Bay City, Midland, Saginaw, several high schools and online.

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Talk to your high school counselor for options that fit your interests.

MARCH–MAY 2020 | YC MAGAZINE | www.tlc4cs.org delta.edu • dualenrollment@delta.edu • 989-686-9428

INSIDE MARCH–MAY 2020

FEATURES

6

The Complete Download on Screen Addiction

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Who Should You Trust with Your Mental Health?

16 20 23

No Reason to Lose Sleep What Children Really Need

Warning Signs of Substance Use and How to Address it with Your Child IN EVERY ISSUE

2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A / By the Numbers PRINTED BY

PRODUCED IN CONJUNCTION WITH

TO ADVERTISE OR CONTRIBUTE Barb Swierzbin: (989) 496-1425 bswierzbin@tlc4cs.org

COVER PHOTO BY

Wandering Albatross Photography www.tlc4cs.org

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Director W FROM THE

Midland High School Leadership students educate their peers and adults about the dangers of vaping with their “Get Your Head Out of the Clouds” campaign. They designed the logo, along with posters, videos, social media posts, and a PowerPoint presentation. They also assist other schools with their vaping campaigns.

ABOUT THE LEGACY CENTER The Legacy Center provides evidence-based learning and developmental strategies, in collaboration with other organizations, to help individuals reach their full potential. Below are The Legacy Center’s program areas: LITERACY SERVICES: At The Legacy Center, we believe everyone deserves the chance to learn how to read.

For more than 30 years, we’ve been providing literacy programming to the greater Midland Community. Today, we offer one-on-one tutoring in Adult Basic Education, English as a Second Language and the Barton Reading & Spelling Program (for those with dyslexia).

YOUTH SERVICES: We support initiatives and programs that ensure area youth excel and become productive members of society. The Center has adopted the concept of Developmental Assets, which immunizes youth against risk-taking behaviors. We also coordinate the activities of the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success, a group of local community leaders who are dedicated to preventing teen substance abuse.

CONSULTING & EVALUATION SERVICES: Since its inception, the Center has helped local nonprofit organizations establish outcomes and evaluate their programs to determine whether and to what extent the program is effective in achieving its objectives.

The results derived from these projects allow our partners to make program adjustments, retain or increase funding, assess community impact, engage collaborators, and gain favorable public recognition.

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e’re in the homestretch of the school year again.

Families are starting to think about scheduling kiddos for summer activities and camps, kids are getting spring fever and (hopefully) wanting to get outside, and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel where school is concerned. This can be an exciting, but also stressful time. Kids are starting to realize KATHRYN TATE there’s limited time to improve grades, so that can create added stress.

Research has shown that any more than two hours a day using technology will increase depression and anxiety. The magazine committee has chosen some weighty topics to address this issue, starting out with screen addiction. Did you know there are now facilities that focus strictly on treating screen addictions? It’s a very real problem affecting many youth.

With all that increased depression and anxiety comes angst for parents. “How do we know the questions to ask a counselor to find the right one? What if all the counselors are full – what can I do in the meantime?” We are lucky to have articles addressing both of these issues! Just like when our child is physically ill, it’s very worrisome when our child is struggling to be mentally well. These articles can walk parents through some steps to take to hopefully make this stressful time more manageable.

Kelly has again shared her expertise on What Children Need. We always try to give our kids what we never had, but many of us had more quality time with parents, family, and other adults, and it was the greatest gift of all. Sure, it’s fun to have new toys, a special trip, or the latest gadget, but it’s the TIME spent with special people that creates lasting memories.

In our Q&A we touch on time with family. Researchers consistently say that kids usually need family time more than anything else.

I hope you’ll take some special time with your kiddos these next couple of months before summer arrives, when longer hours and warmer days take us all in separate directions.

Follow The Legacy Center w w w.tlc4cs.org w w w.facebook.com/tlc4cs Follow the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success w w w.drugfreemidland.org

THE LEGACY CENTER FOR COMMUNITY SUCCESS Kathryn Tate, President/CEO (989) 496-1425 ktate@tlc4cs.org 3200 James Savage Rd, Ste 5 Midland, MI 48642

H. G T I A

IN TH F

FREE, CONFIDENTIAL COUNSELING

YOU NG

ROWI

Our Youth Services program can provide help to teens in their school during the school day

Faith is a GIFT. Faith is a CHOICE. Faith is a JOURNEY.

Family Issues • Relationships • Bullying LGBTQ Support • Grief Counseling Substance Use • Pregnancy Support

Youth have a tie to faith, fellowship, and fun at MPC. Through youth groups, worship, fellowship, confirmation, service, graduation, and beyond, we support and surround each other with opportunities to grow in our personal faith journeys. Visit us to see where your faith can take you.

Appointments can be made through the school counseling office.

Family & Children’s Services 989.631.5390 • fcs-midland.org

Interested in learning more about MPC or your faith journey? Visit mempres.org or stop into the church and talk with MPC Youth Director, Katie Brinklow.

1310 Ashman St. Midland, MI 989-835-6759 mempres.org

RECOVERINGYOUTH YOUTH FUTURES RECOVERING FUTURES

YOUR

CHILD ON

IS COUNTING

YOU

THE TIME TO

INTERVENE IS NOW

A substance use evaluation & treatment program for Midland County youth Call today to schedule a free, one-on-one evaluation 989.832.6855 www.tlc4cs.org

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G GE ET T IIN NV VO OLLV VE ED DW WIIT TH HM MC CT TV V!!

LEARN LEARN HOW HOW TO TO CREATE CREATE PROGRAMS PROGRAMS FOR TV, YOUTUBE, AND PODCASTING FOR TV, YOUTUBE, AND PODCASTING WEB: WEB:www.cityofmidlandmi.gov/MCTV www.cityofmidlandmi.gov/MCTV TV: TV:Charter Charter188-191 188-191|| AT&T AT&T U-Verse U-VerseCh Ch 99 99 SOCIAL: SOCIAL: MCTV MCTVon onFacebook Facebook VIDEO: VIDEO:YouTube YouTube LISTEN: LISTEN: Podcast Podcast PHONE: PHONE:837-3474 837-3474 Must Mustbe beresident residentage age12 12or orolder older

#suicideprevention

Midland Soccer Club Youth Recreational & Travel Soccer TOPSoccer (special needs) Adult Leagues

 Recreational youth leagues Ages u4 – u18  Developmental curriculum Ages u3 – u18  Specialized goalkeeping training  Youth academies  College recruiting / coordinator  Host of two tournaments annually  Low club fees Register Now for Spring 2020!

Registration Deadline: March 18th Waitlist Registration: March 19th - April 1st

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STAY WITH THAT PERSON LISTEN, REALLY LISTEN GET THEM TO HELP OR CALL SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP NEVER KEEP A SECRET ABOUT SUICIDE. IT IS BETTER TO LOSE A FRIEND THAN FOR A FRIEND TO LOSE THEIR LIFE.

www.midlandsoccerclub.org 989.832.0895

One Club. One Community. One Goal.

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www.cmhcm.org ∙ 800.317.0708

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CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE Bullying: I Never Thought it Would be My Kid

L

ate one evening I received a call from my teenage son who informed me that he just had a concerning conversation with his sister. I stopped what I doing to really focus on the conversation. He informed me that his sister stated that she was depressed and had a plan to take her own life. Needless to say, I was shocked. I never thought in a million years that my kid would have thoughts like that. My thoughts then turned to sadness.

My child was in so much pain that she was thinking of taking her life. I immediately thought, what can I do about this and how can I stop the pain. I then explained to my teenage son that I needed to address this with his sister.

I proceeded to pick up my youngest. I started with the normal conversations of, “How was your day?” You see my youngest is really good at displaying happiness. She is that kid that hugs everyone and everyone becomes a friend. So, I gingerly started to ask some probing questions like, “How have you been feeling lately?” Then I stated that I loved her and there is nothing she would share or tell me that would change that. I watched her carefully after I stated that and her smile fell and she turned to me to say, “I’m struggling”. I shared with her that her brother talked to me about the conversation they had and he was worried about the dark

thoughts she was having. I asked her what was bothering her the most. She stated it was the kid at school that kept saying, “You should be a boy” or “Aren’t you a boy?”

Then she shared, “I don’t want to go back to school.” I asked if she had talked to her teachers. She stated that she did go to her teachers and nothing changed.

My initial instinct was to storm into the school and demand some answers. After making sure my child was safe and under constant supervision, I went to work on using the tools I had available to help her.

As soon as I got home, I contacted her brain health provider to get some advice on what to do. Next, I wrote an email to her school counselor, teacher and principal. I first heard from her brain health provider and they stated that I should take her to her primary care doctor to get blood work completed to make sure none of her feelings were associated with something medical like low Vitamin D or thyroid issues. The next morning, I went to the school to talk to whomever was available. I arrived and the counselor was available and I talked with her. She assured me that she had talked to the other child and their parents. I also had a conversation with her teacher who had no idea how much my daughter was struggling.

I know that bullying can be a way that children express feelings when they are

stressed. Simply, I know that hurting kids hurt other kids.

I checked in with my daughter over the next couple days and also made sure she was being supported. I asked about school and the bullying situation, and she said it had been much better. I also got the results of her blood work and everything was normal. Her pediatrician also talked to me about making sure she was getting plenty of sleep. I thought everything was getting back on track, then I got a call from the school counselor.

The counselor was calling to check in on my daughter but also to talk to me about a situation where my daughter was bullying another child. Apparently she had been aggressively hugging another child even when the child had asked her to stop. I was mortified! How could this be? I had no idea the tables would be turned. My daughter was struggling with being bullied; how could she put someone else in the same position? Then I was reminded by the school counselor that this is not uncommon for children who are bullied to then bully someone else.

Bullying is real and it can happen to any of our children. I learned that I need to pay attention to when my kids have used all the tools in their toolkit and the problem still exists, and constantly remind myself that children have real stress and it impacts them. ■

YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY AT: ktate@tlc4cs.org For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.”

We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.

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the complete down

SCREEN ADD

By KATIE HARLOW, LCSW – Intermountain Clinical Director

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nload on

DICTION

If you are in a public place reading this article, I invite you to take a look around to see how many children’s heads are bowed toward the light of a screen (phone, tablet, or other). Chances are it’s quite a few thanks to the digital age we live in.

T

he truth is, screens play a part in shaping our children’s lives at home and at school, and they will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

While screens have benefits (access to greater global knowledge and educational resources being shared in real-time, just to name a few) they, like all other aspects of life, should be used in moderation.

BEHAVIORAL ADDICTION VS SUBSTANCE ADDICTION Some may have heard, and even used, the phrase “screen addiction.” For those who haven’t, this phrase has been used to identify a rapidly growing phenomenon observable among all populations but highly noticeable in young adults, teens, tweens, and children.

According to studies from the nonprofit group Common Sense Media, our children average the following screen times by age per day: + (13-19 years) average roughly 9 hours + (10-12 years) average roughly 6 hours + (0 to 8 years) average roughly 2.5 hours Does this mean a teen spending nearly a third of their day, or a tween spending nearly a fourth of their day in front of a screen is addicted? Not necessarily.

To understand why use does not equate addiction, it is important to understand the difference between behavioral addiction and physical addiction. Behavioral addiction such as “screen addiction” is similar to physical addiction such as to alcohol, meth, or heroin, except that when it comes to behavior, the addiction is to the feeling the user gets from interaction rather than physical need.

Even though “screen addiction” is not physical, the lack of screen interaction can cause similar reactions of intense emotional and negative behavioral responses when the screen is absent or taken away. This is because the same is true for all addiction - the source of the addiction becomes the greatest priority. This priority can be greater than life needs such as sleeping, eating, continued on page 9

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Change a Teen’s Life: Become a Midland Mentor!

R E M S! M P U M S A C GRADES 7-8 We have a variety of camps, from ceramics to robotics to acting, that will fill your summer with fun, connection and learning!

Two hours a week can make a huge difference in a teen’s life. No experience necessary.

Training provided.

GRADES 9-12 Volunteer this summer as a summer camp assistant and make an impact on those around you!

For more information contact: Sue Landis, Program Director Juvenile Care Center slandis@co.midland.mi.us (989) 837-6255

midlandcenter.org

Thank you to our Sponsors

Active Entertainment Aristocuts Salon & Spa Burns Epidemiology Consulting Consumers Energy Delta College Gavin & Associates Horizon Bank

Midland Cogeneration Venture MidMichigan Health Quick Reliable Printing Saginaw Valley State University Stafford Ballroom Dance Lessons Yeo & Yeo Andrews Hooper Pavlik PLC ITH Staffing

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Fisher Companies

continued from page 7

bathing, and interpersonal interaction.

NOTE: Age can determine the capacity for addiction. For children under the age of 12, behavioral addictions do not necessarily occur due to a lack of what is needed for an addiction to exist – mainly a high capacity for self-reflection and self-regulation (selfdetermined change of behavior). This is why a negative reaction, such as having a meltdown, in response to the loss of screen time would not typically be seen as addiction in children under the age of 12.

However, if a child under the age of 12 demonstrates self-reflection and the ability to self-regulate, behavioral addictions can occur.

HOW TO IDENTIFY SCREEN ADDICTION Before we dive into the identification of, and if needed, “screen addiction” correction, think about your children for a second and see if the following nine statements describe them: + It is hard for my child to stop using screen media. + Screen media is the only thing that seems to motivate my child. + Screen media is all that my child seems to think about. + My child’s screen media use interferes with family activities. + My child’s screen media use causes problems for the family. + My child becomes frustrated when he/she cannot use screen media. + The amount of time my child wants to use screen media keeps increasing. + My child sneaks using screen media. + When my child has had a bad day, screen media seems to be the only thing that helps them feel better.

After Sarah E. Domoff of Central Michigan University and a team of researchers studied parents, their children, and issues surrounding screen use, they developed the Problematic Media Use Measure (PMUM) and the Problematic Media Use Measure Short Form (PMUM SF). The above statements are from the PMUM SF. If these statements resonated in your child’s behavior, they may struggle with some degree of screen addiction.

TIPS TO OVERCOME SCREEN ADDICTION AND PREVENT IT The new Canadian Paediatric Society has published 2019 guidelines for promoting healthy screen use in school-aged children and adolescents. Here are six of their recommendations to address and improve your child’s relationship with their screen:

Age can determine the capacity for addiction.

For children under the age of 12 behavioral addictions do not necessarily occur due to a lack of what is needed for an addiction to exist – mainly a high capacity for self-reflection and self-regulation 1. Lead with Empathy Communicating with your child about sensitive issues is best done when they know you are firmly on their side and only have their best interest in mind. This means, approaching the topic of screen media with understanding and empathy will set all conversation up for success. + Acknowledge how you understand screen media can be fun (share positive ways you use your screen media). + Acknowledge how screen media is a part of socializing and connecting with their peers (show them how you positively use screen media to connect with your friends). + Let them know your interest in their screen time comes from a place of wanting them to develop in a healthy and positive way.

2. Set Screen-time Limits: Here are suggested screen times by age: + No screen time for children younger than 2 years (except for video-calling with friends and family). + Less than 1 hour per day of routine or regular screen time for children 2 to 5 years old. + For children 5 and older screen time should be monitored and balanced with other activities (media time at school and in childcare is addressed below). + Avoid all screens for at least 1 hour before bedtime.

3. Develop a Family Media Plan Each family media plan will be unique but should include the following: + Individualized time and content limits.

+ Utilization of parental controls and privacy settings. + Co-viewing and talking about content with your children to discourage the use of multiple devices at the same time. + Obtain all passwords and log-in information for their devices. + Discuss appropriate online behaviors.

4. Encourage Meaningful Screen Time As stated earlier, you should communicate how screen time can be fun. You can also show them how screen time can be beneficial. + Work with your children to choose age-appropriate content and recognize problematic content or behaviors together. + Become part of your children’s media lives (work with their schools and child-care to help them consider developing their own plans screen use). + Usher your children toward educational apps (reading, puzzles, reasoning games) rather than apps that promote activities involving violent games, excessive social media engagement, or selfie-driven interactions.

5. Be a Strong Example Remember, your children look to you for guidance. Changing your screen behavior will be a good way to direct theirs. + Review your own media habits and plan time for alternative play and activities. + Encourage daily “screen-free” times for the whole family. + Turn off your screens when they aren’t in use (this includes TVs). + Avoid your screen at least 1 hour before bedtime.

6. Monitor for Signs of Problematic Use (Prevention) Signs include: + Complaints about boredom and sadness in the absence of screen media. + Excessive talk about online experiences. + Use that interferes with sleep, school, personal interactions, offline play, and physical activity. + Emotional outbursts around the removal of screen media.

Screens are here to stay. Finding ways to help your child(ren) understand how to use these tools in moderation will not only help them interact with technology in a healthy way, it may also encourage greater family connection. ■ www.tlc4cs.org

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Check out who’s standing out in our community.

IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please email ktate@tlc4cs.org and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.

Hannah Miller

FACES IN THE CROWD

MERIDIAN EARLY COLLEGE HIGH SCHOOL, 11TH GRADE

Hannah is a positive leader who is very active in her school and community. She is co-president of the Meridian S.A.D.D. Club, a Meridian Band member, a Skills USA competitor, and owns and operates Hannah G Photography. Hannah works hard to promote kindness and inclusivity by: welcoming students to school with hot chocolate, encouraging Random Acts of Kindness, helping assisted living residents make gingerbread houses, and much more. She plans to obtain a business degree, attend the Great Lakes Culinary Institute at Northwestern Michigan College, and open her own bakery. Hannah is an inspiring young person who goes out of her way to make other people’s days a little brighter!

Claytyn Wishowski

COLEMAN REGIONAL AGRISCIENCE CENTER, 12TH GRADE

Claytyn is a Bullock Creek student who attends the Coleman Regional Agriscience program. His senior agriscience project is a forage study of four crops (grasses harvested for livestock feed) on farmland Coleman Schools recently purchased for an Outdoor Land Lab. This spring he will work and prepare the soil and assist with planting. Claytyn will then monitor the crop growth and harvest over the summer. He will test and compare the crops for dry matter production and nutrient content. Last year, Claytyn’s FFA team placed second in the state in a corn management contest. He is also active in 4-H and the Midland County Jr. Fair Board. Claytyn plans to study agriscience in college.

Maxton Herst

BULLOCK CREEK HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE

Maxton puts his love of learning into action. He has taken multiple college-level classes to advance his interests in mathematics and computer science. Maxton is a vital member of the BlitzCreek Robotics Team. Not only has he been the Lead Programmer and Team Captain for the last two years, he has spent numerous hours mentoring middle school students in the robotics program. Maxton has been instrumental in the team’s fundraising endeavors, raising well over $12,000 and breaking a Guinness World Record for the largest toilet paper pyramid in the process. He has done all of this while maintaining two successful entrepreneurships. Maxton has also received the Dean’s List Award (state finalist) and the Lancer Leader Award.

Joel Beeck

VOLUNTEER, BULLOCK CREEK SCHOOLS

As we think about people who stand out in our community and make it better, one name comes to mind – Joel Beeck.

Joel has a heart for his community and serves the district in many capacities: school board, band boosters, and Junior Achievement. As a gifted leader, Joel has the ability to empower others to see their own potential. If you know Joel, you can’t help but be drawn to his positive, encouraging attitude. Students see him as a role model and a listening ear.

Consider being a volunteer like Joel and make a difference in your own community. Joel would tell you that it will be one of the most valuable things you do in life.

Kathy Knochel

YOUTH INTERVENTION SPECIALIST, COMMUNITY MENTAL HEALTH OF CENTRAL MICHIGAN

As a Youth Intervention Specialist, Kathy works with youth and their families to determine the underlying cause of behavioral issues and, when necessary, refers them to professional resources. She works for early intervention to divert youth from needing court intervention. Kathy also assesses youth for suicidal tendencies and provides crisis intervention in the schools. She plays a vital role in recognizing youth issues and in collaborating to find solutions.

Kathy has a heart for helping youth lead successful lives and works hard to meet their needs. She is often described as kind hearted and is seen with a smile on her face. To reach Kathy for a screening, call (989) 832-6873.

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 Two-year and Early/Middle College Program  Earn high school and college credits plus industry certifications  Prepare for more than 250 high-demand careers  FFA Leadership Training Contact: Jennifer McCormack, Superintendent Coleman Community Schools jmccormack@colemanschools.net (989) 465-6060

National Library Week Programs April 20-25 Tea for Two* Ages 5–10 (with an adult) Library Mezzanine Monday, April 20, 6:00 pm *Registration Required.

Stress Relief Yoga* Ages 12–18 Youth Services Story Room Tuesday, April 21, 6:30 pm *Registration Required.

The Storytellers All Ages

Library Auditorium Thursday, April 23, 6:30 pm Musical folktales - Music, stories, and hands-on fun with musical instruments from around the world.

40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

Study agriscience in a whole new way at the Coleman Regional Agriscience Center. This Career-Technical Education (CTE) Program serves students from all Midland County schools and meets two hours daily.

40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior.

Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity).

It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start.

Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.

Turn the page to learn more!

Children’s Author Visit — Kat Zhang All Ages

Library Auditorium Saturday, April 25, 11:00am and 2:30 pm Join us for a presentation with the author of “The Memory of Forgotten Things” and “The Emperor’s Riddle”.

Come and see our blast from the past displays, and listen and learn about the history of the library.

Check out our website gadml.org for more details about this and all of our events!

The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute®, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.

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assets in action

40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

15 SUPPORT

1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support.

2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s).

3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults.

4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors.

5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment.

6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.

Meridian students present anti-vaping campaign to peers

EMPOWERMENT

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7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth.

8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community.

9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week.

10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.

BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS Youth enjoy MCFTA ceramic camp Coleman students are Pledge leaders for a school board meeting

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11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts.

12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences.

13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior.

14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.

15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.

16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME

Grief Center volunteer helps youth navigate grief

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17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.

18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community.

19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution.

20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.

If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email ktate@tlc4cs.org with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.

Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.

33 COMMITMENT TO LEARNING

21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school.

22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning.

23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day.

24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school.

25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.

POSITIVE VALUES

26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people.

27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty.

28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs.

29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.”

30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility.

31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.

New friends sharing laughs at YMCA Camp Timbers

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Learning chemistry at the Herbert D. Doan History Center

SOCIAL COMPETENCIES

32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices.

33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.

34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds.

35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations.

36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

Creekers for a Cause volunteer in the community

37

POSITIVE IDENTITY

37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.”

38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem.

39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.”

40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.

Celebrating a personal goal accomplishment

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who should you trust with YOUR MENTAL HEALTH?

By DANIEL CHAMPER, LCPC - Intermountain Clinical Director

W

hen you have a headache, you can take ibuprofen to feel better regardless of the brand. This is because ibuprofen must follow a chemical manufacturing standard allowing it to be called ibuprofen. Unfortunately, psychotherapy (therapy) is not ibuprofen.

While there are standards of care that accompany every psychotherapist (provider) licensed to provide care, the therapy they provided will ultimately be as unique as the provider themselves.

Because of this, it is important to understand the following three things: 1. What therapy is.

2. What questions to ask a new-to-you provider before making an appointment.

3. What the qualities of good therapy and of less-good therapy are.

WHAT IS THERAPY? Psychotherapy (sometimes referred to as “talk therapy” or simply “therapy”), is a practice meant to assist children, youth, families, and adults as they address a broad variety of mental health concerns (such as depression and anxiety), emotional distress, co-occurring substance use, suicidal thoughts or ideation, trauma, and other life-impacting stress. The ultimate intention of therapy is to help someone cope with, alleviate, eliminate, or regain control of troublesome symptoms so they can ultimately experience increased emotional well-being and overall mental health.

THREE QUESTIONS TO ASK A NEW PROVIDER BEFORE YOU MAKE AN APPOINTMENT: 1. What is their area of expertise?

Because there are thousands of mental health and relationship issues it is reasonable to expect your provider to specialize in one or more, but not all. It is good to make sure they have the skillset to address your concerns and age (some providers are age-specific – adults OR children).

2. How will they measure progress?

It is reasonable to learn how a provider will track your progress throughout your sessions.

If they have no answer to this question you might need to find someone who can.

3. What kind of license do they hold and are they licensed to practice in your state?

The process to become a licensed provider takes a serious commitment. Licensed providers must earn a Bachelor’s Degree and Master’s Degree, obtain provisional licensure, complete work experience, pass state or professional examinations, obtain state licensure, and meet continuing education requirements. Providers must be licensed by the states in which they practice.

THREE EASILY IDENTIFIABLE QUALITIES OF GOOD (AND LESS-GOOD) THERAPY 1. Therapy is Not About Making a Friend While there are many opportunities in life to develop friendships and personal relationships, therapy should not provide one of them.

Good Therapy: + This provider should ensure your relationship stays professional (example: you will always feel like they are there operating in a professional capacity to address your needs). + They should maintain professional language (example: no profanity) and body posture (example: sitting upright and attentively listening). + They should work with you and guide you toward the mutually agreed upon outcome you hope to achieve from your sessions. + They should focus solely on you, your needs, and your time.

Less-Good Therapy: + This provider might be casual around you in language (example: swearing) and gestures (example: lying down) during your session. + They might ask you to hangout outside of your sessions. + They ask unrelated personal questions that are prying or voyeuristic. + They might not help you formulate or work toward the mutually agreed upon outcome you hope to achieve from your sessions. + They might multitask (example: look at, or use their phone or computer) during your session.

2. Evidence-based Practice is a Must Therapy lives and evolves just like all other medical practice, however, though it responds to new research and current information, any intervention used should be evidence-based (the integration of the best available research with clinical expertise in the context of patient

characteristics, culture, and preferences).

Good Therapy: + This provider should offer individualized solutions based on tried and tested scientific research with proof of effective application. + They should be able to clearly explain the reasoning behind what they are proposing you try or what they are asking you to do. + If you are confused, they should work to explain what they are proposing or asking without inserting opinion. + They should be able to explain any suggested course of action they suggest through scientific research .

Less-Good Therapy: + This provider might use language such as “In my opinion…” or “If I had to guess…” + They might offer vague explanations which you may not understand. + If pressed for an explanation they may say things like “You will get it after a few more sessions…” or “This is really big stuff to try to understand right away…”

3. Personal Judgment Should Not Exist If you have arrived at the need to see a provider, chances are you have worked through a variety of thoughts and opinions to get there. Because of this, therapy should always be judgment-free.

Good Therapy: + Sessions with this provider should feel like an experience rather than a lecture. + This provider should offer acceptance, and ask questions to help them fully understand you without agreeing or disagreeing with what you tell them. + This provider should give understanding, undivided attention, empathy, acceptance, positive encouragement, and support.

Less-Good Therapy: + This provider might use judgmental phrases in the vein of “that’s crazy…” or “I wouldn’t have done that…” + They might offer advice. + They might make assumptions without seeking clarification. + They might be condescending, or dismissive.

Though these tools are just the start of understanding the difference between good therapy and less-good therapy, they should help you begin to make better decisions around who to trust with your mental health. ■ www.tlc4cs.org

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no reason

TO LOSE SLEEP

By DANIEL CHAMPER, LCPC - Intermountain Clinical Director

D

eadened eyes stare. Pasty skin shimmers. Colorless tongues drool.

Listless arms dangle. Guttural sounds emit. Rancid odors waft.

Zombies? Not likely.

There are many more believable explanations for all of these ghastly signs.

Would you care to guess along with me?

Teenagers? Parents of newborns? New night shift employees? Single parents working three jobs? If you have ever been in any of these situations then you most likely can (somewhat) humorously conjure up memories in which you resembled the description listed above. But what do all of these life situations have in common? The common link for all of the aforementioned circumstances and descriptions is sleep deprivation.

Sleep deprivation is commonly defined as the condition of not achieving adequate restful sleep. Symptoms of sleep deprivation are many. The list includes irritability, impaired judgment, slower reaction times, increased depression, inability to focus, weakened immune system, and on and on. We live in a culture of constant technological stimulation and are constantly confronted with the idea that success has a direct positive correlation with personal drive and industry. We text, type, and tweet. We crush candies and binge watch 80’s sitcoms late into the night. We allow work to follow us into the once sacred space of our living rooms and kitchens.

Teenagers and adolescents, who formerly found relief from the pressure of social engagement in their bedrooms, have found these sanctuaries invaded by technological socialization throughout the evening and into the wee hours of the morning. This trend is often compounded by mounting pressure to perform and excel in the academic, vocational, and extracurricular arenas. In short, we live in a society custom built for restricted sleep habits.

The topic of sleep is vast, and science is still attempting to learn all it can about an immensely complex subject. As a result, we

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Teenagers and adolescents, who formerly found relief from the pressure of social engagement in their bedrooms, have found these sanctuaries invaded by technological socialization throughout the evening and into the wee hours of the morning. continue to learn more and more about the positive and negative effects that sleep has on our waking lives. According to a recent study completed by Alexandra Agostini, from the Centre for Sleep Research at the University of South Australia, sleep deprivation has a snowballing nature.

She also found that for teenagers and adolescents, this “sleep debt” cannot be fully paid by sleeping in on the weekends.

And, we all know that many teenagers and adolescents rarely receive the 9 to 10 hours of nightly sleep that is widely recommended throughout the health community.

Another concept related to sleep that has emerged alongside the increased use of technology is the idea of sleep hygiene.

Sleep hygiene refers to the quality of sleep that one receives. This quality can be negatively affected by stimulation close to bed time. Sleep hygiene can decline as a result of many different activities. Increased aerobic activity, technological and lightrelated stimulation, increased anxiety and constant thoughts all contribute to poor

sleep quality. Basically, anything that rouses physiological or psychological activation within 30 to 45 minutes of sleep can have an adverse effect on the quality of sleep that one receives. And so it appears that we are about to head into the murky waters of the age old debate over quality versus quantity.

Wrong. When it comes to sleep, both quality and quantity are equally important.

Much of this is not news. The zombielike creatures that shuffle into our mirrors, kitchens, and classrooms each morning make us painfully aware of the lack of sleep that our society receives. Energy drinks and coffee mugs the size of a flower pot are simply symptom reducers that make it possible to function at a fraction of our potential. Change must be intentional and supported. We cannot simply will ourselves and our children to better sleep habits and routines. So where do we start?

First, we must evaluate the extent of the problem. Track the number of (quality) hours of sleep you or your child receives each day for a period of at least a month.

Then, set a goal. You will never increase the quality of your rest if your goal is simply “better.” Be specific with your goal (including a time or date for achievement).

Be sure to set this expectation with your child in a clear and collaborative manner.

Next, identify all factors that negatively affect the quality and / or quantity of sleep that is received. Remember to consider activity level, technology use, social pressures, and anxious or racing thoughts that you or your child may experience within an hour of your target bed time.

Finally, get to work (AKA rest). If these steps are followed yet positive results are not experienced, seek medical attention for yourself or your child as there are many sleep disorders that can be treated by your primary care provider.

Zombies have taken over television, movies, and video games. With a little bit of knowledge and effort in the area of sleep management, we can keep them from taking over our homes, schools, and places of employment. ■

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NUMBERS How do I keep my child busy but not over scheduled for summer?

Great question! We as parents want our children to have things to do; we want to know that they’re in a safe place and having fun; we want them to advance any of their interests like theatre, music, dance, or sports. Unfortunately, having every second of every day scheduled for them the entire summer may seem like qualifications for parent of the year, but there’s research that says kids need down time. Overscheduling kids leads to the same stress-related health and psychological problems that overscheduled adults experience. The goal is to develop a balance so there’s structure, but also free time.

Signs your child may be over-scheduled: + Complaints of headaches, pains, or just not feeling right + Not sleeping well + What used to be fun, isn’t any more + Grades dropping + Signs of depression and anxiety + Little contact with friends + Needs parent direction for what to do next Over-scheduling is really about being so organized there’s not a moment for kids to be kids, nor is there time for families to be a family.

Limiting organized activities gives everyone the opportunity for downtime, including mom and dad. It’s critical that kids get time to relax, play, and time with family. Summer is a great time to schedule family time in the evenings. Go for bike rides, to the park, take the dog for a walk, or play lawn games. Instead of stressing about dinner make some sandwiches and go on a picnic.

To avoid summer learning loss, schedule time for reading.

Make weekly trips to the library to keep the reading supply fresh. Schedule time for kids to “study” something. This gives them the opportunity to learn more about what interests them.

For children who do attend all day camps, make sure their evenings are free for play. Researchers recommend 20 minutes a day, five days a week to spend time as a family playing games, shooting hoops, whatever. It’s been shown to be effective in developing imaginations and increasing family bonding, which decreases risk-taking behaviors and even obesity as kids get older.

It’s important to keep them busy so they’re not getting into trouble, but don’t forget to schedule family and downtime.

HAVE A QUESTION? ktate@tlc4cs.org

We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.

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44

The total number of days of sleep a new parent loses the first year.

760

The number of thunderstorms every hour on earth.

2,000

The number of balloons a blue whale can inflate with one breath.

50

The percentage of pizzas in America that are pepperoni.

1

The percentage of water on earth that is drinkable (even though 70% of it is covered by water).

8

The number of bees it takes their whole life to make a teaspoon of honey.

June 13, 2020 11am-8pm

Census 2020 We count because Community matters.

We count because your family matters. Everyone matters.

Did you know 40% of Michigan’s funding comes from the federal government? The amount of money Michigan receives depends on the Census - a survey conducted every 10 years to determine the number of people living in the U.S. For every uncounted person, Michigan will lose $1,800 per person per year.

Our community is counting on you to ensure important community programs are funded for the next 10 years. That’s why we count.

Call to Register

(989)495-9335

Look for a Census invitation in the mail in March 2020 with instructions on how to respond online, in the mail or by phone.

2020Census.gov The Great lakes Bay Regional 2020 Census initiative is supported by your local community foundation in Bay, Isabella, Midland and Saginaw Counties.

Helping Families Grow and Thrive Preschool for three- and four-year-olds at five locations Childcare for children ages 12 and under After-school and summer programs for youth and teens Summer Food Service Program (SFSP) for youth ages 18 and under Dow College Opportunity Program to support and mentor high school students Parent education and social services Free computer and Wi-Fi access Call us for details at 989.832.3256, or visit WMFC.org Located at 4011 West Isabella Rd. (M-20) 14 miles west of Downtown Midland

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WHAT CHILDREN

really need

By Kelly Ackerman, LCPC

F

or just a moment, close your eyes and let your mind wander back to childhood. What is it you remember growing up with the family you had?

Stay there for as long as it takes to really identify what feeling is deeply rooted in your growing up: happy, sad, angry, afraid, worried, ashamed? The truth is you cannot change it, nor could you hand pick the family in which your memories were made which gave root to the overall feeling of your childhood.

Now, allow yourself to place those memories carefully back in the places of the mind from which you found them. Take a few deep breaths and transition into your role as a parent. Close your eyes and focus on your family now, especially your children and call to mind what memories you would like them to look back upon and what feeling you would wish them to recall in 15-20 years. In this space, know that you have some power to actively participate in the forming of these memories with your children. As you ponder, think about some foundational key elements in actively creating memories with your children that both you and your child can recall with fondness, love, and happiness.

PRESENCE This word encompasses the daily manner in which when your children are telling you about their day, no matter how dramatic, you are looking them in the eyes and are captured by their feelings and the important details in a way that you won’t forget them.

You have interest in their daily actions, their friendships, their experiences at school and with their siblings without having to solve problems, but could confidently summarize exactly what they share with you.

Additionally, presence means you meet them in their lives in the places that matter: school performances, sporting events, art shows, etc. Your presence sends the message, “I care about you enough to see you and celebrate who you are.” Presence is being physically, emotionally and mentally attending.

As a therapist, the most common desire of all kids I see is wanting their parent(s) to play with them every day. The good news is that play can be experienced during a child-centered time or during a time when it is time to do the spring cleaning in the yard.

PLAY Whether your child is one or 17, play creates a mutual joy in which laughter springs forth and quality time is shared. Tap in to your inner child to connect through creativity, humor, silliness during this extraordinary time to bond and create the lasting shared pleasure that all of us need. As a therapist, the most common desire of all kids I see is wanting their parent(s) to play with them every day. The good news is that play can be experienced during a child-centered time or during a time when it is time to do the spring cleaning in the yard.

MEALS In the rush of the day, meals can be challenging. Yet, at meal time, all the tasks and demands of the day can be set aside

and the company of each other can be enjoyed. It is a time to unplug and model that true self-care means taking the time to fuel our bodies with nutritious food and in the company of those we most love. This important ritual sets an important pace for the day whether it be the time we begin our day or the time in which we all return together to check in and share each other’s company. In silence, or in laughter, meal time allows for daily organization that is an essential self-care practice and sends the message of reconvening as a family is a priority.

READING Sharing a book is bonding in which imagination, exploration of ideas, and growth of self are experienced within the safety of a close, loving relationship.

Although bedtime stories are often associated with childhood, this tradition can carry throughout high school although it may need to be modified at times due to the change or schedules and routines. My children are now teens and we continue bedtimes stories regularly, setting days in which we can all agree to be home together.

Reading opens new worlds and experiences while creating memories of feeling safe and loved.

LOVE The most important message to send is one of love. Love comes from sharing an unconditional positive regard toward your child(ren) no matter what is experienced.

Often as parents we are flooded with fears of “what ifs” and thoughts that our children need to meet certain standards to be successful. Finding security within the relationship of parent(s) regardless of the mistakes made, the accomplishments experienced (or lack of ), and genuinely sharing emotions that can be gently held, communicates the love that will last lifetime, leaving positive feelings when our children close their eyes and look back. ■

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Saving Lives Through Suicide...

PREVENTION

For good. For ever.

AFTERCARE How do I know if someone is thinking of suicide?

I want to learn more!

How can I help?

Grants. Scholarships. Events. Leadership.

Philanthropy.

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Saturday, May 9 from 1-5 pm Sunday, May 31 from 1-5 pm Tour camp, meet the staff, and enjoy a variety of FREE camp activities.

Summer Overnight Camps For all youth ages 7-17 • One-Week Sessions, June - July Overnight Camps • Band Camps • Teen Leadership Camps and Trips

Learn more and register at www.CampTimbers.org or call us at 989.345.2630.

YMCA CAMP TIMBERS

Income-based financial assistance available.

We also host year-round group retreats and team-building for church groups, schools, sports teams, and businesses.

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WARNING SIGNS

of substance use

and How to Address Substance Use with Your Child

By KENDALL SMALL, LAC, Florence Crittenton

T

here are many concerns with raising children in a technology heavy era, one concern being potential substance use.

Symptoms of substance use can be difficult to recognize due to the commonality of behaviors that are associated with being a teen such as mood swings, sleeping more than normal, and breaking rules. When your child has specific interests and hobbies it may be easier to spot any shifts in behavior. It is important to remember there are many factors that can cause a substance use disorder. Substance use in adolescence does not guarantee on-going addiction problems in adulthood.

The following are potential warning signs of substance use: + Isolation from friends or family + Changing friend groups drastically + Mood swings + Missing school + Losing interest in hobbies, activities, or sports + Sneaking out or breaking curfew + Rapid weight gain or loss + Hostility or quickness to anger + Behavioral problems at school or at home + Substance use paraphernalia Many factors can attribute to a substance use disorder such as

genetic factors, environmental factors or exposure to substance use, and age of first use. The age of first use can increase the likelihood of developing an addiction. The younger a child uses, the more likely they are to develop a substance use disorder. Research has shown that brains are not fully developed until sometime in a person’s twenties, making the brain especially susceptible to chemicals altering brain wiring.

Exposure to substances from family and/or friends can “normalize” substance use allowing children to believe this is a normal part of life. Children are often trying to find their place in the world and how they fit. If your child is spending significant time with others who abuse substances, the likelihood that they will abuse substances increases.

Parents and caregivers can help prevent substance use and abuse by being willing to discuss the topic and potential consequences that may arise from using substances. When discussing substance use, a parent may be asked about their substance use history. It can be helpful to disclose with children how substances have impacted your life or people you know. It is important to set clear boundaries and expectations with children and enforce consequences when necessary. If you are concerned about your child abusing substances seek professional help from a licensed addiction counselor, doctor, clinical therapist, or other community resources.

Additional information can be found at: https://drugfree.org/. ■ www.tlc4cs.org

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Exceptional care from your oral surgeon

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NALOXONE

Naloxone, also known as Narcan®, is a medication approved by the Food and Drug Administration to prevent overdose by opioids such as heroin, morphine, and oxycodone. It blocks opioid receptor sites, reversing the toxic effects of the overdose. Naloxone can save lives.

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Get Back in the Game Safely and Quickly with In addition to injury prevention, MidMichigan Health’s WellSport Program is designed to help expedite the assessment, referral and treatment of athletes of all ages suffering from strains, sprains, contusions, fractures, joint injuries and concussions. The program focuses on injury prevention through education and training, helping injured athletes return to play as safely and quickly as possible, as well as managing medical conditions that can affect performance. This multi-disciplinary program is the region’s only medically-directed sports medicine practice.

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§ Manage medical conditions that can affect

performance, such as asthma, diabetes, heart disease, weight or arthritis.

§ Promote the use of “exercise as medicine” to maximize health and wellness.

For more information, visit www.midmichigan.org/wellsport.