JUNE–AUGUST 2025 | www.tlc4cs.org
» Staying Active to Ward Off Depression
» Eight Must-Have Conversations With Your Teen
» The Importance of Allowing Kids to Quit an Activity: Nurturing Well-Rounded Development
» Can You Monitor Kids’ Social Media?
Dual Enrollment
A great way to get a jump on
Dual enrollment classes at Delta College are great because they can count toward high school graduation and college credit. Students can earn college credits that may be applied toward an associate’s degree or transferred easily to a Michigan university of their choice.
Another plus, dual classes are usually paid for by the high school which gives students the potential to finish college early and pay less overall.
Dual enrollment also prepares students for college-level academics and broadens their horizons.
Director FROM THE J
ust like that, another school year has passed! Our kids have grown, matured, and learned a lot. Now, they’re all ready for summer. It’s important to balance structured and unstructured time as too much of either can lead to mental health concerns. This issue has several articles to help you find the right balance to help your kids stay mentally well this summer.
We are always appreciative of Dr. Len Lantz for allowing us to reprint his great articles, and the feature this round is particularly relevant. If we have the tools for ourselves and our kids before depression sets in, it can help alleviate the stress of wondering what to do if it does hit. Dr. Lantz does a great job of explaining why it’s important to stay active to help ward off depression.
In conjunction with that article is our Q&A section where we offer some fun ideas to keep everyone active during these long summer days. Some ideas will take families outside and others are for the really hot days when you just want to stay inside. Whatever one decides, it will help keep kids, and parents, off of screens.
Our friends at Natural High have allowed us to condense a long article to make it fit, but I would strongly recommend checking out the entire article. There are more suggestions for each of the eight conversations to have with kids and an activity to help them visualize their future. Their website also has a plethora of resources for adults to help kids reach their full potential.
Often, we as parents wonder when or if it’s okay for our kids to quit a sport or activity. We have an article that discusses the pros and cons of each. Hopefully it will offer some perspective if one has a mindset one way or the other.
We’re lucky to have a teacher and mom on the magazine committee. Emily can give us perspectives from both sides, which is just what she’s done in the Confessions article.
We hope that you and your family have a wonderful summer break!
KATHRYN TATE
greatlakesbaypride.org
CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE
We’re In This Together
Our schools are an important and influential part of our children’s lives. While spending so much of their time at school, it is inevitable that issues will arise. Building relationships, maintaining communication, and fostering understanding is key for parents who have school-based concerns.
BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS
To build a relationship with the teacher(s) and better understand the school climate, or general mood, it helps to visit the school. Take advantage of events like open house, parent teacher conferences, or family nights. While there, visit with as many of the staff as you can. Educators, like librarians and physical education teachers, can offer valuable insight and a different perspective about your student, and other important school issues.
Showing up gives teachers and staff a chance to know you better. It is like putting money in the relationship bank. Then, when issues arise, or you have a question or concern, you have some principle to draw from. This way your relationship stays in the black and nobody is overdrawn.
Being in the school building also allows you to get a read on the “vibe” of the school. Are other children (and parents) excited to be there? Are the teachers and staff welcoming and enthusiastic? Is the school leadership (principals, vice principals, deans, board members) present? Answering these questions can tell you a lot, and give you clues on how to proceed when there are concerns.
Become involved in Parent Teacher Organizations. Give as you can, and volunteer as you are able.
MAINTAINING COMMUNICATION
In addition to building relationships, maintaining communication is key. Email is the easiest way for teachers to keep in touch. As a parent, I always start the school year by checking in via email and seeing if there is anything the teacher(s) needs. A pack of whiteboard markers? A coffee?
If I need to touch base with the school nurse or other staff, I always CC my child’s classroom or homeroom teacher, so they are in the loop.
FOSTERING UNDERSTANDING
When you hear a troublesome tale about something at school, be sure to take it with a grain of salt. Some of the best advice I ever heard came from a veteran kindergarten teacher. She would tell parents, “If you believe 50% of the stories your child tells about school, I will believe 50% about what they tell me about home.” Deal! My daughter once told her teacher I cooked broccoli inside of socks…ugh! If a story from school seems too weird to be true, it probably is. But don’t be afraid to reach out to the school to ask for clarification. A quick email to the teacher asking for the rest of the story will do the trick.
Once clarified, if you have remaining concerns, gently let the teacher know. Wording such as, “Let’s work together to find a solution” or “Can we set up a meeting to discuss this and find some common ground?” communicates that you disagree but want to be proactive.
When dealing with public schools, keep in mind that many things taught are out of the teachers’ control. What information is taught is decided on state and federal levels. All public schools must follow state-wide standards or National Common Core Standards. How information is taught is decided on a school district level. If your concern is based on what or how information is taught, reaching out to the principal is your best bet – but don’t forget to CC the teacher(s).
During their school career, your student will probably have a handful of difficult teachers that they just don’t “click” with. If your child is stuck with a teacher whose personality just does not mesh, take it as a learning experience in dealing with difficult people. Play up the other educators (librarian, music teacher, etc.) at the school and encourage them to foster those relationships.
If your child has an especially bad day at school, whether it has to do with teachers or peers, it helps to have other positive and supportive communities to turn to. Don’t forget the power of youth groups, sports teams, and other extra-curriculars as a part of your child’s support system.
Our children are our most precious resource. Both parents and educators recognize the time, love, and dedication that goes into raising them. Work as a team to remember this common ground and make school a positive experience for all. ■
For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
STAYING ACTIVE to ward off depression
STAYING ACTIVEdepression
By LEN LANTZ, M.D.
WHAT IS BEHAVIORAL ACTIVATION?
Behavioral activation is the process of proactively increasing your activity level of positive activities. Behavioral activation strategies can be traced back to B.F. Skinner’s 1957 book, Science and Human Behavior, and were further elaborated in 1973 in Charles Ferster’s paper, “A Functional Analysis of Depression.” Dr. Ferster wrote, “The critical factor is a fixed and large amount of activity.”
In a 2009 research meta-analysis by Mazzucchelli and colleagues, behavioral activation was shown to be substantially more beneficial than placebo in the treatment of depression in over 16 medical studies. Behavioral activation can help major depression tremendously and can also be a strategy to prevent mental illness in times of stress and uncertainty, such as the loss of a job, having a child, the loss of a loved one, or other major life transitions.
IS THERE A RISK TO MENTAL HEALTH WITH A LACK OF STRUCTURE AND ACTIVITIES?
I have heard countless stories from friends, family and patients about the negative impact on their mood after transitioning from a high activity level to a low activity level. Think about the times in your life when your mood crashed after a major accomplishment or task. Shouldn’t you have been on cloud nine? The drop in mood could be related to your life being completely out of balance and feeling exhausted by the time you completed your goal or project, but it also could have been due to moving from a high activity level to a low activity level or moving from a structured, goal-oriented schedule to no schedule at all. You can protect your mental health through behavioral activation.
HOW DOES BEHAVIORAL ACTIVATION WORK?
When someone is depressed, they lack energy, motivation and enjoyment, which leads them to stop doing the activities that normally help them feel good. Their resulting inactivity then worsens their depression.
Behavioral activation is about forcing yourself to do meaningful activities that are in line with your values – the things you do when you’re not depressed. When a depressed person puts themselves on a schedule filled with positive activities, they are sending powerful signals to their brain to wake up and function. A busy schedule with cognitive activation makes the brain function in a non-depressed way and stimulates neural pathways that are underactive in depression. And even if someone with depression doesn’t experience as much enjoyment as normal
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with positive activities, chances are they will feel better than they would have if instead, they had done nothing.
DOES HAVING A JOB OR GOING TO SCHOOL COUNT AS BEHAVIORAL ACTIVATION?
While there can be both positive and negative effects of going to work or school, I do think that going to work or school is a form of behavioral activation. It can increase stress/anxiety but it also often helps depression. This is part of why I try to get my depressed patients back to work and school as soon as possible. Work and school can:
• Put people on a schedule
• Make them get up and stay out of bed
• Cause them to use their brain to accomplish tasks
• Increase social connectedness
• Distract from negative thoughts
• Enhance safety (reduce the risk of suicide) by increasing social contact
• Provide meaning through learning and contributing to others (projects, groups, communities)
• Result in the reward of a paycheck or satisfaction of improved grades
ARE MENTAL HEALTH DAYS HEALTHY?
Sometimes people want to take a mental health day from school or work. In reality, mental health days can be good or bad. If your idea of taking a mental health day is staying in bed all day, then doing so is probably a bad idea. Most people who stay in bed or on a couch in their pajamas all day feel worse, not better. Make sure that you don’t use your mental health day to feed your depression. Instead, use your mental health day for positive, creative activities and catching up on things you need to get done. These kinds of mental health days are healthy and restorative.
COMPONENTS OF A GOOD BEHAVIORAL ACTIVATION STRATEGY
The best strategies involve scheduling many activities with variety. Start by forcing yourself to do the things you would normally do when you were not depressed. These are activities that you enjoyed in the past or that you would do to charge up your batteries. If you are depressed, you may not enjoy these activities as much as when you were depression-free, but they will still help.
Even if you do not have depression, behavioral activation strategies are good for your emotional well-being. You deserve this. Think about how it would feel to end the day and say,
“I had a busy day. It was a little stressful and I’m tired, but I had fun and got a lot done.
Begin by getting up and getting ready in the morning. Get exercise and do creative things. Do some necessary tasks around the house and then leave the house. Don’t make decisions about what to do based on how you feel. Make a rational, not emotional, decision about whether you are going to do an activity or not. Make decisions that are in line with your values. When adding activities to your schedule, try to broaden your range of activities, maybe including things that are opposite ends of the spectrum or engage all of the senses (sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing):
• Social and solitude
• Nature and indoors
• Art and puzzles
• Playing music and listening to music
• Physical activity and meditation
• Entertainment activities and meaningful service
20 ACTIVITIES TO CONSIDER WHEN YOU DESIGN YOUR STRATEGIES
1. Go to the gym before you go home from work.
2. Limit naps to less than one hour per day.
3. Go for a walk in nature.
4. Call a friend.
5. Think of tasks you have been putting off. Pick the quickest, easiest one to complete and do it.
6. Draw a picture or doodle.
7. Turn on the radio and find the station that you like the most.
8. Play your favorite song and sing along with it (no matter how good or bad you are at singing).
9. Go to a hot yoga class (no matter how fit or inflexible you may be).
10. Go to a coffee shop, sit down and savor your drink.
11. Think about a social issue you care about and call someone related to that cause. See what simple opportunities there are to volunteer.
12. Go to a movie.
13. Go to a museum.
14. Visit a flower shop or a greenhouse.
15. Go and listen to live music.
16. Plan for a visit to a new restaurant or get take-out.
17. Complete a puzzle, sudoku or crossword puzzle.
18. Download a podcast on meditation or mindfulness, listen to it and follow the cues.
19. Do a physical activity you haven’t done in a while: ride a bike, hit a tennis ball, kick a soccer ball, go cross country skiing, go swimming, hit a golf ball, go for a hike or a jog.
20. Write down on a piece of paper three things you want to do before January 1 of next year.
IMAGINE A LIFE FILLED WITH ACTIVITIES AND PRODUCTIVITY
If you are willing to make changes in your life to increase your behavioral activation, you are likely to become less depressed. Even if you do not have depression, behavioral activation strategies are good for your emotional well-being. You deserve this. Think about how it would feel to end the day and say, “I had a busy day. It was a little stressful and I’m tired, but I had fun and got a lot done.” An active day will help your sleep, your emotional health and your physical health. Taking care of yourself by planning and scheduling healthy activities is a proven strategy for starving out your depression and enhancing your mental and physical health. ■
Dr. Len Lantz is a practicing adult and pediatric psychiatrist in Helena, Montana. He is the author of the book unJoy: Hope and Help for 7 Million Christians with Depression and the editor of the mental health website PsychiatryResource.com.
Check out who’s standing out in our community.
IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE?
Please email jblewett@tlc4cs.org and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
Jane Valley Meyer NORTHEAST MIDDLE SCHOOL, 7TH GRADE
Jane is a hardworking student at Northeast Middle School and is deeply involved in school activities. Jane is curious, creative, and has a strong work ethic. She joined her school’s FIRST Robotics team this year and quickly became a contributing member, enthusiastically participating in meetings and asking insightful questions about building. Recently, she has taken an interest in learning to program the robot. Jane joined the tech crew for the school play and was always willing to help out where needed. Jane also participates in the Northeast swim team, track team, band, and Viking Leadership. Outside of school, she enjoys Greek mythology, baking, crafting, and painting. At home, Jane helps with their chickens and enjoys word puzzles.
Eli Cicci JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL, 7TH GRADE
Eli is heading into 7th grade at Jefferson Middle School. He is a talented musician who plays piano and trumpet in the school band. In addition to music, Eli stays busy with sports. He is on the school track team and plays club soccer and flag football. When he’s not busy with school or sports, Eli enjoys being outside and spending time with friends. His energy and enthusiasm make him a great example of the awesome youth in our community!
Hannah Lackey JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL, 8TH GRADE
Hannah is an 8th grader at Jefferson Middle School and an all-around great kid! She is always so enthusiastic, outgoing, and just fun to have at any type of event. She is very easy to talk to and people want to be around her. Hannah really enjoys music and is a talented musician. She is a great singer and even plays the mandolin. She loves her family and it is so evident. She is a great sister and has such a warm personality and a big heart. She is also active in WyldLife, Young Life’s mentoring program for middle school students. Her WyldLife leaders love having Hannah involved in the ministry!
Brynn Fick JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL, 8TH GRADE
Brynn will be an 8th grader at Jefferson Middle School this fall. She participates in many activities, including swimming, pom pon, and ballet. Brynn is always open to trying new activities, like diving, which she tried this year. She puts her best effort into every activity she does and is very persistent. Brynn is known for her caring, responsible nature, sense of humor, strong work ethic, and extraordinary persistence. She works hard to do well in school, earning good grades and making honor roll. Outside of school, Brynn enjoys hunting, fishing, and spending time up north with family. She is great at bringing family together over games or crafts. Brynn’s strong character shines through her quiet smile.
Astro Mitchell MIDLAND HIGH SCHOOL, 11TH GRADE
Astro is a junior at Midland High School. This past year, they were given the creative freedom and opportunity to identify and create properties for the Drama Club’s productions of Puffs and Once Upon A Mattress. This required strategic planning, problem-solving, and design skills, placing Astro in a leadership role to guide a small team and ensure projects were completed on time. Although leadership may not be their first inclination, they excelled in this capacity, maintaining a positive attitude and demonstrating the values of Chemic Pride. They also participated in their classes academically and showcased exceptional commitment. We’re excited to see what they accomplish with their talents in the future!
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior.
Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start.
Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
assets in action 40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
SUPPORT
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support.
2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s).
3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults.
4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors.
5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment.
6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
EMPOWERMENT
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth.
8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community.
9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week.
10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts.
12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences.
13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior.
14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.
15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.
16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.
18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community.
19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution.
20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
Youth paint a mural for the Art Seen Festival in Downtown Midland
Coleman community raises funds for students to visit Carnegie Hall
Wyldlife students fundraise for camp
Teens volunteer for a crawfish boil at their church
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email jblewett@tlc4cs.org with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school.
22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning.
23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day.
24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school.
25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
POSITIVE VALUES
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people.
27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty.
28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs.
29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.”
30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility.
31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
SOCIAL COMPETENCIES
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices.
33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.
34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds.
35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations.
36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
POSITIVE IDENTITY
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.”
38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem.
39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.”
40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Student volunteers at Midland Miracle Field
Coleman students collect cereal to donate to a food pantry
Bullock Creek graduates walk through their elementary school
Students do a science experiment on a field trip
EIGHT MUST-HAVE CONVERSATIONS with your teen
By NATURAL HIGH STAFF
There’s no question that your kids will be exposed to and learn about drugs and alcohol. They will learn from television shows, movies, social media, and their friends. And almost everything they learn will be unhelpful and misleading at best – dangerous at worst.
Here are eight conversations you should have with your kids. As awkward as they might be, the consistency and honesty with which you approach these discussions will make a big difference for them. Be cool and casual about it. Be honest, open, and authentic – kids can smell inauthenticity a mile away.
#1 THE ‘DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ARE REAL AND DANGEROUS’ CONVERSATION For adults who struggle with life-destroying addictions, 90% of them started when they were kids. However, research has shown that teens who consistently learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are up to 50% less likely to use drugs than those who don’t.
Here are some triggers to remind you to have the conversation:
• When you’re watching a movie together and someone on screen is using a substance
• When you come across someone who is under the influence – help your kids interpret why that person is acting strange
• When you or others around them drink alcohol or smoke
#2 THE ‘YOU’RE NOT THAT SMART, YET’ CONVERSATION
It’s important for you to realize, and for your kids to know, that they aren’t capable (yet) of making wise and informed decisions for themselves. Because of the massive reconstruction of their brains during adolescence, they lack the executive functioning skills to think reflectively about their values, their future state, or consequences.
Neuroscience has learned the brain is not fully developed until around twenty-five years old. We need to help kids make smart and healthy choices.
#3 THE ‘LET’S TALK ABOUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE’ CONVERSATION The real danger of peer pressure is an internal thing happening inside the kid. It’s their desire for acceptance that drives them. The values, priorities, and perspectives your kid will adopt as a teenager will be way more influenced by their peers than by their parents. That’s why it’s so important to be involved in their friendships – at the very least to know their friends on a personal level.
#4 THE ‘LET’S FIND YOUR NATURAL HIGH’ CONVERSATION One of the most annoying things kids say to their parents has to be, “I’m bored.” Kids today have more entertainment options than ever before.
Boredom, however, is a problem. The opposite of boredom isn’t entertainment, it’s engagement. Kids who are engaged, connected,
involved, and busy have fewer opportunities to engage in risky behaviors. We need to learn how to engage kids by challenging them, provoking their curiosity, and giving them the space to explore what bugs them.
#5 THE ‘FAMILY HISTORY’ CONVERSATION It’s really important that our kids have an appropriate sense of where and who they come from. Most families have a tendency to shield their children from the faults of their family members, but issues like addiction leak down through the generations. If our kids aren’t aware of the issues they’re being exposed to and predisposed to, they will be less likely to face their challenges effectively. The worst thing we can do is to pretend like nothing is wrong – they’ll just be confused and, at worst, learn to distrust their own gut and intuition.
#6 THE ‘LET’S TALK ABOUT ANXIETY AND STRESS’ CONVERSATION It’s stressful to be a human. Stress and anxiety aren’t always negative. In fact, stress and anxiety are often the beginning of personal growth. Resilience is a quality that strong people have. It’s an attribute that is shaped through experience and reflection.
We can have conversations where we affirm our kids and let them know how they’re demonstrating resilience and grit by choosing to stay engaged in their learning, making healthy choices for themselves, and reaching out to stay connected with friends. Let them think for themselves to help them grow in self-awareness and discover their own inner capacity to face hard things.
#7 THE ‘I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT – YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ME’ CONVERSATION Even if we’re scared, angry, or disappointed, kids need their parents to be their safest place; the people they can always turn to – no matter what.
That’s a really hard line to hold, isn’t it? Our kids can frustrate us, make decisions that disappoint us, and confound our common sense.
That being said, we still need to have this conversation repeatedly throughout the years of growing up. Our kids need to know they don’t need to be perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s how the entire process of growing up works.
#8 THE ‘LET’S IMAGINE YOUR FUTURE’ CONVERSATION
Our kids are our pride and joy. Nothing matters more than their happiness and fulfillment – who they are, who they become, and what they do in the world.
But who they become and what they do in the world is largely out of our control. We can only do so much to create a healthy, firm foundation for them, and then the choice is theirs. (Read the full article for an activity on this topic – see link below.)
These aren’t one-time conversations – they’re discussions to have continuously throughout the years. ■
*This article is abbreviated. To read its entirety, visit https://www.naturalhigh.org/8-conversations-with-teen-about-drugs-alcohol/. Also check out all the other great resources on their website.
THE IMPORTANCE OF allowing kids to quit an activity:
Nurturing Well-Rounded Development
By AMBER IRVIN
In a world where extracurricular activities for children are becoming increasingly prevalent and competitive, there’s a growing awareness of the importance of allowing kids the freedom to choose, explore, and, sometimes, quit activities they’re no longer interested in. The decision to allow children to quit an activity can often be met with hesitation and concern. Parents may fear that letting their child abandon a commitment sends the wrong message about perseverance and dedication. And while perseverance and commitment are valuable traits, it’s equally crucial to recognize when a child may need a change. There is a growing body of research and expert opinions that suggest allowing kids to quit certain activities can foster a sense of autonomy and contribute to their overall well-being.
ENCOURAGING SELF-DISCOVERY
Children go through phases of exploration, trying different hobbies, sports, or clubs to find their passions. Allowing them to quit an activity encourages self-discovery. When they realize an activity doesn’t resonate with them, it opens the door for finding something they are genuinely passionate about. This self-discovery process can lead to a stronger sense of identity and self-awareness.
REDUCING BURNOUT AND STRESS
Overloading children with too many activities can lead to burnout and stress. Stress can manifest in various ways, including behavioral issues, difficulty concentrating, and even physical symptoms. Kids have their own unique limits and energy levels and pushing them to persevere in an activity they no longer enjoy can have negative consequences. Allowing them to quit when they feel overwhelmed can help reduce stress and maintain a healthier balance in their lives.
FOSTERING A SENSE OF AUTONOMY
Granting children the autonomy to decide when to quit an activity empowers them to make decisions about their own lives. This fosters a sense of independence and self-
By creating an environment where children feel safe discussing their interests and concerns, parents can better understand their child’s evolving preferences. This can strengthen the parent-child relationship and foster trust.
reliance, skills that will prove invaluable as they grow into young adults. Kids who have the ability to make choices regarding their activities are more likely to develop a strong sense of responsibility.
When children are coerced into continuing an activity they dislike, it can lead to a negative association with learning and hinder the development of independent decision-making skills.
DEVELOPING RESILIENCE
While quitting an activity is valuable, teaching children the importance of perseverance and commitment is equally crucial. Encouraging kids to finish what they’ve started, even when it gets tough, can help develop resilience. However, there are instances when quitting is a sensible choice, such as when an activity is genuinely detrimental to a child’s mental or physical health. It’s essential to differentiate between temporary challenges and a genuine loss of interest. Understanding the difference between quitting out of convenience or frustration and quitting for the sake of personal growth is an important lesson.
PRIORITIZING MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING
In today’s fast-paced world, children often experience immense pressure to excel in various aspects of their lives. Parents need to be mindful of not trying to live vicariously through them or pushing them to be as good as they were in their youth. Allowing kids to quit an activity when they’re no longer enjoying it prioritizes their mental and emotional well-being. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and maintaining a positive emotional state is essential for a child’s overall development.
ENCOURAGING OPEN COMMUNICATION
Allowing kids to quit an activity also promotes open communication between parents and children. By creating an environment where children feel safe discussing their interests and concerns, parents can better understand their child’s evolving preferences. This can strengthen the parent-child relationship and foster trust. It’s important that kids never fear letting their parents down by sharing that they don’t enjoy an activity anymore.
In the grand scheme of a child’s development, allowing them to quit an activity is a practice that can offer numerous benefits. It fosters self-discovery, reduces stress, and promotes autonomy, resilience, and emotional well-being. However, it’s crucial to strike a balance between allowing kids to quit and encouraging commitment. Teaching children when it’s appropriate to persevere and when it’s okay to let go is an invaluable life lesson. By respecting their choices and supporting their evolving interests, parents can help children grow into well-rounded individuals who are capable of making informed decisions about their own lives.
Ultimately, the goal is to guide children toward activities that bring them joy and fulfillment, nurturing a lifelong love for learning and exploration. ■
How can I keep my kids off screens and keep them active in the summer?
Keeping kids active when they’re out of school can be a challenge. Here are some ideas that might help them stay engaged while they enjoy the break.
OUTDOOR SPORTS:
• Bike-riding: Encourage kids to stretch their wings a little and bike around the neighborhood or to the nearest ice cream shop for a sweet mid-day treat.
• Park-hop: There are great parks in and around Midland County. See how many you can visit and rank them according to your favorite.
• Sign up for a summer sports camp. There are plenty of camps for athletes who are more serious about their sport, or those who just want to dabble and have fun.
WATER ACTIVITIES
• Go for a swim: Visit one of the local pools in the area. Indoors or outdoors, there are great options to cool off in the Great Lakes Bay Region.
• Visit a lakeshore: Splash around in the waves of a Great Lake or an inland lake. Try out a paddleboard, or have a sandcastle building contest with your family.
• Float down a gentle river in a kayak, canoe, or a tube. There are several outfitters in the area to enjoy the beauty of our local rivers. Enjoy Michigan’s Great Outdoors: Go for a nature walk at a community garden, nature center, nature conservancy, or a state park.
Create a Backyard Obstacle Course: Use your imagination to build an obstacle course to test your kids’ skills. Use hula hoops to build agility, scrap lumber to make a balance beam, and a bucket and ball to practice throwing.
Sidewalk Chalk Art: Many kids love sidewalk chalk! Take a quiet afternoon to decorate the sidewalk and driveway to say hi to the neighbors walking by.
Grow a Garden: Whether it’s a small herb garden in a window box or a large backyard space with vegetables or flowers, kids learn so much when they’re responsible for tending to a garden. You might even be able to get them to try new foods if they’re helping to grow them!
Summer Scavenger Hunt: Create a scavenger hunt to get kids outdoors. Include different types of insects, birds, animals, flowers and trees, then see how many you can find!
Summer Camps: Sign kids up for summer camp. There are outdoor and indoor camps, sports, craft, and music camps. The local schools even have camps to explore possible careers. Encourage your child to try out a few different types of camps to get a variety of experiences.
Schedule Unstructured Time with Friends: As much fun as it is to have challenges and coordinated activities, it is just as valuable for kids to have time to play outside with their peers and use their imaginations. Let your child invite a friend over at least once a week and see where their creativity takes them (within reason, of course).
66
The percentage of their life a cat sleeps
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68
The percentage that stress is relieved by reading
800
The amount in tons of chocolate sold at the Brussels Airport each year
46,001
The number of pushups performed in one day
150
The number of years it would take to drive a car to the sun
9
The weight in pounds of an elephant’s tooth
CAN YOU MONITOR
kids’ social media?
By OFFICER GOMEZ
Parents who think they can monitor their kids’ social media are like thinking they can beat a professional basketball player one-on-one. Kids are actual professionals at social media and parents are not. Kids have coaches and technical support teams (other kids) that advise them every day. Parents have their work group or friends of three or four people who share what they think they know about kids and social media.
One of my main concerns with kids being on social media is their ability to talk to strangers. Omegle has a slogan of “Talk to Strangers.” It has been around for a while and is not an application any child should be on.
Omegle does not have a sign-up requirement so you can be talking to strangers in a matter of seconds by clicking two checkboxes verifying you are 18 and will abide by their terms of service.
Once connected, Omegle connects you with a random person in the world by video, audio, and chat. If you don’t like the connection, you select “next” and it takes you to the next random person in the world. If people were decent, this would actually be a great exploratory program to discover other people in the world and learn a great deal about other cultures. Unfortunately, that’s not what happens.
As you click next on Omegle, what you find pretty quickly is that there are many people on there who are naked and want to talk to you live. As you click through there are multiple x-rated scenes. Equally as disturbing are the chat screens that had groups of young girls (middle school) who were watching together and clicking “next” to go to the next person. I can only imagine the scenes they were experiencing on this platform.
Because there is no sign up, Omegle users are very anonymous and there is no way for police to track them if needed.
Think your child would not watch or use Omegle? It’s one of the popular “shock” applications kids like to show each other at school. Middle schoolers in particular love to show their friends what is on there. So, your child is in danger of seeing absolute craziness even without having a phone. Some applications such as Snapchat have
The only way parents will win this game is by taking children out of their pro-environment and spending non-screen time with them. Parents are the leaders of their family and should spend time teaching values and ethics to their children, so apps don’t.
the potential and often do change your child forever. I highly recommend no Snapchat before 18. TikTok, Instagram, Telegram, and other applications will brainwash your children.
Snapchat and Telegram are currently the top drug dealing applications. Did you know kids can log into Snapchat on their school issued Chromebooks? If you want to test your child’s Chromebook, go to the website now.gg and see if it comes up.
Want a second test? From Google Maps type in “Milk Island” and check out the many videos under pictures. Milk Island allows kids to see TikTok videos and more without monitoring software catching on. In the reviews and photos, people post videos that are sometimes inappropriate. Google deletes inappropriate videos about once a week, but they always come back.
Here is a list of the most addicting apps you need to be careful of.
SNAPCHAT is by far the most popular for its ability to hide things from parents. Even
if you are friends with them with your own Snapchat account you can be muted to only see what they want you to see. Parents have no idea how much mental manipulation happens here.
TIKTOK is the up-and-coming brainwashing machine. Many trends are being started and guided by older men so your kids will be easier victims. It is common to see innocent videos posted by 12-year-old girls showing 20k - 100k likes by random users.
INSTAGRAM is also on the list because parents think they understand this app better than others. Conversations, pictures, and accounts can easily be hidden from parents; it’s called vanishing mode. Here’s how to use it:
Open a one-on-one chat window with someone on your friend list. Swipe up from the center of the screen to enter vanish mode. Note that any messages, pictures, or videos sent in vanish mode will vanish after they have been viewed. Unfortunately, there isn’t a straightforward way to know if your child has been using it.
FORTNIGHT will still get your kids very addicted. I have been to more than a few 911 calls where kids melt down when they have to stop playing this game. Many a parent has felt hostage in their own house to this game.
Unfortunately, installing monitoring software to keep up with kids’ social media is equivalent to thinking that buying a new pair of basketball shoes will allow you to beat a pro player. You are not going to win by putting on a pair of shoes.
If your kid has a smart phone, I highly recommend monitoring software as a way to help control technological issues. I am just advising that software alone will not stop most kids. I see way too many parents who over-rely on software to patrol their kids’ online life. The only way parents will win this game is by taking children out of their proenvironment and spending non-screen time with them. Parents are the leaders of their family and should spend time teaching values and ethics to their children, so apps don’t. ■
Recharge
Your Battery at these free summer events!
GAME NIGHTS
Wednesday, June 18
Wednesday, July 16
Wednesday, August 6
5:00 p.m.
MOVIE NIGHTS
Wednesday, June 25
Wednesday, July 30
Wednesday, August 13
7:00 p.m.
We are here for your postsecondary success! Reach out to us to pursue resources to remove barriers to postsecondary education.
THE HIDDEN PERILS OF KRATOM:unveiling the dark side
By STAFF
Kratom, a tropical tree native to Southeast Asia, has gained popularity in recent years as a natural alternative to traditional painkillers and mood enhancers. However, beneath its seemingly harmless facade lies a myriad of dangers that pose significant risks to both physical and mental health.
One of the most alarming dangers associated with kratom is its potential for abuse. While proponents argue that it can alleviate withdrawal symptoms from opioids, the irony lies in the fact that kratom itself can be highly addictive. Its active compounds bind to opioid receptors in the brain, leading to a euphoric high and a subsequent craving for more. As tolerance builds, users find themselves trapped in a vicious cycle, desperately seeking higher doses to achieve the desired effects. This can have severe consequences, including social isolation, financial ruin, and even death.
Kratom also poses a range of adverse health effects. The unregulated nature of this substance means that users have no guarantee of its purity or potency, making it a breeding ground for contamination. Reports of kratom products tainted with heavy metals, salmonella, and other harmful substances have surfaced, posing a significant risk to consumers. Furthermore, kratom
consumption has been linked to liver damage, respiratory problems, seizures, and even psychosis.
Adding to the dangers of kratom is the lack of regulation surrounding its production, distribution, and consumption. Unlike prescription medications, kratom is not subject to rigorous testing or quality control measures. This absence of oversight means that consumers are left vulnerable to the uncertainties of a market driven by profit rather than safety. Without proper regulation, there is no way to ensure that kratom products are accurately labeled, free from contaminants, or even legal. This regulatory void not only endangers individuals but also undermines public health efforts to combat substance use.
While kratom may initially appear as a natural remedy with potential benefits, it is crucial to recognize the hidden perils that lie beneath its surface.
It is important to educate ourselves and our kids about these dangers. Just because something is marketed as “natural” does not mean it is safe, especially for youth. Only through awareness and informed decision-making can we protect ourselves, our kids, and our communities from the hidden perils of kratom. ■
Go-To Place for Adolescent Mental Health Care
MyMichigan Health has launched a new therapeutic Intensive Outpatient Program in Midland for middle and high schoolers to address their mental health needs. This grant-funded program, made possible by the Michigan Health Endowment Fund, fills a critical gap in local behavioral health services for youth in the region. The program offers evidence-based group, individual and family therapy for adolescents struggling with issues such as anxiety, depression, trauma, school issues, relationship or family stress. By offering structured therapeutic sessions after school, participants return to their home environment in the evening.
The program aims to stabilize clinical conditions, reduce symptoms and prevent inpatient hospitalizations, offering necessary treatment for those who cannot be effectively treated in a less intensive setting.
To learn more about the Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Program visit mymichigan.org/iop or call (989) 839-3385