Marijuana’s Impacts on the Teenage Brain
DECEMBER 2019–FEBRUARY 2020
EMPATHIZING WITH A BIGGER WORLD In Your Own Backyard » The Five Sources of Stress in Teens » What is Negative Peer Culture? » Occupational Therapy and the Parent/Child Connection
LUNGS BURNING? IS IT YOUR VAPE? Text “Start My Quit” to 855-891-9989. Free, confidential help. Just for teens.
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
Funded by Mid State Health Network
DEC 2019–FEB 2020
Empathizing with a Bigger World in Your Own Backyard
The Five Sources of Stress in Teens
What is Negative Peer Culture?
Occupational Therapy and the Parent/Child Connection
Impacts of Marijuana on the Teenage Brain IN EVERY ISSUE
2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A / By the Numbers PRINTED BY
PRODUCED IN CONJUNCTION WITH
TO ADVERTISE OR CONTRIBUTE Barb Swierzbin: (989) 496-1425 firstname.lastname@example.org
COVER PHOTO BY
Wandering Albatross Photography www.tlc4cs.org
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
Director FROM THE
The Legacy Center for Community Success improves outcomes for youth. Michelle Beeck, Prevention Community Educator, recently presented to eighth grade students at Northeast Middle School. Topics covered included stages of drug addiction, and the dangers of nicotine and marijuana use for youth.
ABOUT THE LEGACY CENTER The Legacy Center provides evidence-based learning and developmental strategies, in collaboration with other organizations, to help individuals reach their full potential. Below are The Legacy Center’s program areas: LITERACY SERVICES: At The Legacy Center, we believe everyone deserves the chance to learn how to read. For more than 30 years, we’ve been providing literacy programming to the greater Midland Community. Today, we offer one-on-one tutoring in Adult Basic Education, English as a Second Language and the Barton Reading & Spelling Program (for those with dyslexia). YOUTH SERVICES: We support initiatives and programs that ensure area youth excel and become productive members of society. The Center has adopted the concept of Developmental Assets, which immunizes youth against risk-taking behaviors. We also coordinate the activities of the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success, a group of local community leaders who are dedicated to preventing teen substance abuse. CONSULTING & EVALUATION SERVICES: Since its inception, the Center has helped local nonprofit organizations establish outcomes and evaluate their programs to determine whether and to what extent the program is effective in achieving its objectives. The results derived from these projects allow our partners to make program adjustments, retain or increase funding, assess community impact, engage collaborators, and gain favorable public recognition.
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
hope you’re having an enjoyable fall and have been able to find beauty in our early snowfalls! The magazine committee has assembled an excellent slate of articles this round, touching on important topics for parents. We are wrapping up our series on Social Emotional Learning focusing on social awareness, which is the ability to understand social and ethical KATHRYN TATE norms for behavior and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports. Being able to recognize resources and supports is extremely important, especially this time of year when kids seem to struggle the most. Knowing there are people who care is imperative when kids, or even adults, are struggling. We will be delving into a new subject over the next few issues: screen addiction. It is something that kids and adults, alike, are struggling with, and it is beginning younger and younger. We have to get a handle on it in order to promote positive youth development. Kelly Ackerman is writing for us again and is addressing negative peer culture, which is a real problem that our youth are having to navigate. Kelly’s perception and advice are a great resource for parents. As you are likely aware, recreational use of cannabis is now legal in Michigan and retail sales have begun. We have seen an uptick in youth use of cannabis products since the law passed. Parents need to understand the risks of use on the teenage brain. Our article on marijuana this month will provide more information to help parents start the conversation with their kids. Finally, I wanted to share that The Legacy Center is now accepting business sponsors for our magazine. Businesses may place sponsorship ads that promote positive youth development efforts in our community, provide public service announcements, or support nonprofit organizations. Please contact us if your business is interested in supporting YC Magazine. Cherish the special moments with your family during the upcoming holiday season. Follow The Legacy Center w w w.tlc4cs.org w w w.facebook.com/tlc4cs Follow the Community Alliance 4 Youth Success w w w.drugfreemidland.org
THE LEGACY CENTER FOR COMMUNITY SUCCESS Kathryn Tate, President/CEO (989) 496-1425 email@example.com 3200 James Savage Rd, Ste 5 Midland, MI 48642
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LISTEN: LISTEN: Podcast Podcast PHONE: PHONE:837-3474 837-3474 Must Mustbe beresident residentage age12 12or orolder older
Helping Families Grow and Thrive Preschool for three- and four-year-olds at ﬁve locations Childcare for children ages 12 and under After-school and summer programs for youth and teens Summer Food Service Program (SFSP) for youth ages 18 and under Dow College Opportunity Program to support and mentor high school students Parent education and social services Free computer and Wi-Fi access Call us for details at 989.832.3256, or visit WMFC.org Located at 4011 West Isabella Rd. (M-20) 14 miles west of Downtown Midland
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
Saving Lives Through Suicide...
How can I help?
I want to learn more!
How do I know if someone is thinking of suicide?
Save the Date!
Mardi Gras Feast To request trainings or support resources: Phone: 989.781.5260 firstname.lastname@example.org
Fat Tuesday, February 25, 2020 5:30pm—8:00pm Great Hall Banquet & Convention Center Purchase Tickets at: www.tlc4cs.org Proceeds will help The Legacy Center improve outcomes for youth, families and our community.
Survivors groups of Suicide Support Group SSupport
Over $500,000 in scholarships Apply online from December 1 - March 1 at www.midlandfdn.org and earn your share. The Midland Area Community Foundation scholarship program is made possible by local donors.
For good. For ever.
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE Editor’s note: This is a continuation of a series from a family who struggled to keep their child mentally well. The first and second submissions can be read at: https://www.youthconnectionscoalition.org/archives in the June 2019 and September 2019 issues. am the child who struggled, whose family embarked on a difficult, but helpful journey to support me move beyond surviving to thriving. This journey has been very complex, very difficult and very rewarding all at the same time. My family, including my sisters, parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles engage in the journey with me, but others cannot even begin to understand the way in which returning to my same school and peer group have been the biggest hurdle I face on a daily basis. When I left my peer group, I was a different person, struggling to identify myself in a positive way and caught in a negative peer culture with other peers who were struggling. What people don’t realize is that I still deeply care about those peers and their struggle and that cutting them off was agonizing for me. It was like stealing my very breath because this is a group where I felt accepted. I may not have been making healthy choices and I may have not thought much of myself, but I often felt valued and loved. After doing my work away from home, I chose to return into my same home school. Entering that place makes me want the power of invisibility more than anything, while at the same time longing for people I once knew to embrace and welcome me
back. That is not the welcome I received. I feel shunned and judged, being blocked on social media and called names when I walk down the hall. It takes more energy to exist in the school which is like a city jammed into an itty-bitty city of only a few thousand square feet with people who are unable to see the different me I have become, instead hanging on to their previous version of me. I am exhausted and have felt more isolated than ever. Here I sit and walk alone, feeling too afraid to allow any openness because of the hurt it has caused me. Additionally, my teachers have no idea what kind of strength it takes just to get through the day, let alone focus on what I am supposed to learn. Nobody can hear or see the struggle inside of me, and nobody really reaches out to make sure I am getting all I need to support my education. My teachers do not know that when I make a mistake, because I have learned that all people make mistakes, calling me out in front of others only spikes my social anxiety, shame, and despair. I don’t mind critical feedback, but I would like it to be done in a respectful manner rather than one based on fear. I have learned to communicate while acknowledging my own emotions and
taking responsibility for my role in difficult interactions. I want the adults in my life to consider me as a valuable person who can learn from my mistakes. When I am confronted in a public, humiliating way, I learn to shut down and distance myself from those adults, not trusting them and not wanting to be in a relationship with them. Finally, I would not have chosen to go away from my family but it may have saved my life. I want people around me to show respect and learn to acknowledge their emotions without making decisions from these emotions. I have learned that, and will be supported in my attempts as a teenager to continue when adults can do the same for me. However, the distance I feel from people because of the emotional work I focused on for 10 solid months is as far as the east is from the west. A kid like me can appreciate her family and the support and growth offered within that family, but I want to have friends with whom I can be myself, including the me that has grown. I want to laugh, hang out, and experience the thrills of adventure. But I also want to share my feelings and thoughts with friends who can handle that and share theirs, as well. It is difficult to find that in my world, so still I feel very alone. ■
We would like to thank this family for sharing their journey with us and hope that providing a glimpse into what youth and their families have to endure to be mentally well encourages others to get help and seek support.
YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY AT: email@example.com For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
EMPATHIZING A BIGGER
in your own ba
How Parents Can Support a Child’s Gro 6
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
Isabella’s eleven-year-old son, James, walked in their door after school. He threw his backpack across the room and ran down the hallway to his bedroom clearly upset.
owing Social Awareness By JENNIFER S. MILLER, M.ED.
sabella waited until James finally emerged, hungry for a snack. As he searched the kitchen, she asked, “Are you okay?” James sat down with a bag of chips and explained that he was “sick of school,” or more accurately, the students he encountered. One of his long-time friends, Dakota, had been hurt by some of their supposed friends today, and he felt angry and helpless to do anything. James loved hanging out at Dakota’s house and getting to know his family – his father, a Native American of Crow ancestry and his mother, a Latina-American, both of whom grew up in Montana. Frequently he would catch his “friends” labeling Dakota. They had hung out with the same group since kindergarten, but now those “friends” were making fun of Dakota because his mother would speak to him in Spanish. He had attempted to befriend some others who labeled him “the Mexican,” when his family had no heritage from Mexico whatsoever. Today felt like the last straw for James when he had watched Dakota fight back tears at their lockers after the group had insultingly mimicked his mother’s Spanish. Not only was he mad at the others, but he felt sick about his own role. “I know I should have stopped them, but I just stood there; I didn’t do anything,” James told his mom. He was frustrated with himself. “Why didn’t I stop them?” he uttered to himself. Why couldn’t classmates just take Dakota for who he was, a devoted student and good friend? Clearly, the group of friends involved in labeling Dakota were struggling with social awareness and not accepting Dakota for who he was. And James, though feeling empathy for his friend, struggled to take action. He too was trying to figure out how to respond when others were treating a friend unfairly. From birth, our children are growing and exercising their social awareness, defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) as “the ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds and cultures and the ability to understand the social and ethical norms for behavior and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.” CASEL recently further defined social awareness through the lens of equity. Children continued on page 9
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
In the beginning, you saw a bright future. Great family. Great job. Great health. All the toys.
Change a Teen’s Life: Become a Midland Mentor!
Life doesn’t always go as planned. The stress. The pain. The arguments. The need to escape. More and more, life feels out of control. It leaves you afraid to look at reality. Don’t like what you see because of your alcohol or drug use? We can show you a new way to look at life, and help you recover a vision for a brighter tomorrow.
Two hours a week can make a huge difference in a teen’s life. No experience necessary. Training provided.
For confidential help, please call 631.0241.
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GET YOUR HEAD...
TEXT “Start My Quit” to 855.891.9989 Quit vaping. Free, confidential help. Just for teens.
QUIT WHEN YOU WANT, HOW YOU WANT. For local help, call 989.832.6855 “Get Your Head Out of the Clouds” is used with permission of the students of Midland High School Leadership. Funded by Mid State Health Network
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
continued from page 7
and teens are more likely to learn to empathize when adults accept and value cultural differences and discuss power dynamics that disadvantage some and advantage others. If we don’t discuss these issues with our children, we can perpetuate old stereotypes and limit growing social awareness skills. Social awareness also includes recognizing shared interests and life circumstances. Dakota was a classmate, a friend, played on a sports team, and loved his pet dog just like nearly every other child in his class. His classmates’ mistaken interpretation of his heritage and what that meant about his identity were separating him out and hurting him and his friend. Growing our children’s social awareness poses a number of challenges for the adults who love them. First, if we are to prepare our children for contributing to our global community, we have to recognize and admit bias. We must challenge our own thinking as we raise important questions for our children to consider. This puts us in the uncomfortable position of not knowing it all. Yet, that model of vulnerability, of standing in the face of challenge and admitting we have much to learn, will aid us considerably with our next challenge. As our children develop greater social awareness, their social anxiety rises in direct proportion. Why? As our children work to exercise their perspective-taking muscle, they make wrong interpretations about others’ thoughts and feelings. After all, we are not born mind readers. Empathy requires practice. In the preteen years, feelings of heightened sensitivity complicate this as children’s brains and bodies are dramatically changing. The preteen through teen years can feel isolating as our children become increasingly anxious about their peers’ potential criticisms of who they are. Our opportunity to show vulnerability will not only model what our children are experiencing — “It’s okay not to know it all” — but also open the door to a more trusting connection where parent and teen can wrestle with the tough questions together. There are a number of ways we can help our children and teens become more socially aware. Here are some specific ideas. 3- TO 5-YEAR-OLDS Practice physical awareness. Our young children are working hard to figure out how their bodies can cooperate with the hopes of their minds and hearts. Through pretend play, they work on their fine and gross motor skills. They are interested in learning about their own body parts and curious about others’. This is an ideal time to practice body
awareness. For example, play the game “What does your body tell you? What do others’ bodies tell you?” According to The Definitive Book of Body Language, body language is five times more powerful than words! Work on identifying facial expressions, body postures, and ways of moving that communicate emotion. This focus will assist a child in noticing nonverbal cues from others. Discuss race, culture, differences, and commonalities. Use children’s books to spur conversation. Because children are more regularly engaging in play with others, this is an ideal time to talk about differences and commonalities. There are people with a variety of skin colors, different beliefs about a higher power, and a range of traditions around the world. What can we learn from those differences? And, how many commonalities can we discover? Be sure to seek common ground as there is always more that unites us than divides us. Also, practice acting with kindness and inclusion. Model bringing others in the circle of play who were not naturally there. The seeds of exclusion can be planted at this stage; it’s critical that we offer children the chance to practice inclusion. 6-TO-8-YEAR-OLDS Act as a feelings detective. Children require practice in naming emotions in order to manage them and grow a sense of empathy for others. Create a dinnertime game to discover what Dad is feeling when we ask him, “How was your day?” Use errand runs to see if you can figure out what people are feeling through their facial expressions. When your child comes home and tells a story about classmates, ask the question: “How do you think they were feeling?” These simple games will simultaneously promote valuable selfawareness, self-management (name it to tame it), and social awareness skills. Advance your conversations on inclusion and equity. Your child may be encountering children from other cultures, races, and abilities for the first time as they enter elementary school. Make a point of discussing race, culture, and differing beliefs and abilities whenever the topic may arise. Equate “different” with “an opportunity to learn and value” versus “weird.” At the beginning of each school year, you might ask: “How would you feel in a new school where you didn’t know anyone? Can we come up with ways that you could welcome the new students and help them feel comfortable?”
9-TO-12-YEAR-OLDS Prepare with peer tools. How do you coach your child when they encounter mean words or actions at school? Consider offering your child some simple ways to stop harm without causing more and move to safety. You might practice together saying, “Stop. You know that’s wrong (or unkind),” and then walk away. Isabella could have coached her son to help his friend, Dakota, by agreeing to walk him away when verbally attacked. Did you know more than half of bullying attempts stop when another child intervenes? Agree with friends to help one another stay safe. Then, express compassion: “You know when someone is lashing out, they are hurting inside.” Criticizing other children may put your child in harm’s way. Instead, how can you express empathy and compassion while keeping your child safe? Share stories of fairness and justice. Children at this age are keenly attuned to issues of fairness. Build on this rising insight by discussing the complexities of acting in just ways. When friends make poor choices, ask, “What other choice did they have? How would those choices have resulted in different outcomes?” Point out ways in the larger world that individuals and cultures struggle for rights and talk together about ideas to solve those big problems. Read age-appropriate biographies together about Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, or Rosa Parks to learn about those who risked their lives for justice. FOR 13-TO-18-YEAR-OLDS Engage in powerful conversations. Teens are ready to engage in powerful conversations about more complex issues. Movies, social media, and everyday experiences provide opportunities to practice empathizing. Asking your teen questions like: “What would it be like to be in someone else’s situation? How would you have reacted if you had been them?” Or “Have you seen examples of people being mistreated because of their race, ethnicity, or other differences? How did that make you feel? What could you do about it?” Practicing social awareness with your child is a meaningful contribution to our next generation. Offering your child access to your own open mind and grappling with some of our world’s toughest issues of fairness and justice together will strengthen yours and your child’s empathy and compassion. You may just change the world for the better in your own backyard. ■
About The Author: Jennifer S. Miller, M.Ed., author of the popular site, Confident Parents, Confident Kids, has twenty years of experience helping adults become more effective with the children they love through social and emotional learning. She serves as a writer for ParentingMontana.org: Tools for Your Child’s Success, a statewide media campaign to educate parents on social and emotional learning. Her book, “Confident Parents, Confident Kids; Raising Emotional Intelligence in Ourselves and Our Kids — From Toddlers to Teenagers” releases November 5, 2019. www.tlc4cs.org
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please email email@example.com and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
FACES IN THE CROWD
MIDLAND HIGH SCHOOL, 11TH GRADE
Maddie has a goal of impacting our local community and helping to shape the world into a better place. She is actively involved in a variety of opportunities so she can become educated about different parts of society. Maddie volunteers with Big Brothers Big Sisters, Midland County Youth Action Council, and Open Door. She enjoys these activities because they allow her to have a voice in the community and serve people with many different backgrounds. Maddie is also involved in her church with Sunday school instruction, VBS, and youth mission trips. In her spare time, Maddie runs cross country and track, and participates in creative activities, such as playing ukulele and creating craft flowers to give others.
MIDLAND HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Andrew is always willing to lend a helping hand at school and in the community. He is the current Student Council President and was elected to the Michigan Association of Student Councils and Michigan Association of National Honor Societies Student Board of Delegates. Andrew is well-respected by his peers and was selected as the 2019 MHS Homecoming King. He is an empathetic, compassionate young man who serves as a student representative on the Midland Inclusion Council. Andrew is also active with the Christian Celebration Center Thrive program, where he mentors youth, participates in the worship team, and facilitates activities. Andrew is an excellent servant leader who is dedicated to making our world a better place through kindness and inclusion.
HH DOW HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Genesia is an International Baccalaureate Diploma Candidate. For her required Creativity, Activity and Service project, she is working with a group to foster a climate of respect for diversity at Dow High School. Genesia states, “We are ensuring that students are able to learn in a caring environment that feels safe.” She is also Dow High’s representative to the Great Lakes Bay Regional Youth Leadership Program. Genesia gives back to the community by volunteering at the Humane Society, Habitat for Humanity, and for Consumer Energy’s environmental cleanup initiatives. Soon, she will become a Big Sister for the Big Brother Big Sister program. Genesia is planning to attend Central Michigan University and is interested in pursuing law.
BULLOCK CREEK HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Hadlee is contributing so much to the community in and outside of school. She is the Executive President of Student Council and is a regular emcee for assemblies and many sporting events. She is active in Bullock Creek’s ever-growing Robotics program, plays varsity tennis, and is a member of National Honor Society. Hadlee is also the editor for the school’s yearbook. She regularly volunteers at the Bridge Food Center, a volunteer run grocery store that helps families in our community struggling to make ends meet, and she also volunteers at Bullock Creek’s Blood Drives. Dedication and commitment are two words that describe Hadlee, and on top of everything...she’s a great kid!
Shelterhouse is proud to serve the children and teens of Midland County through youth-centered client services and prevention education. Domestic and sexual violence impact the health and wellbeing of children in significant ways, and their advocates and masters-level therapists are skilled in guiding children of all ages through their own healing process. Shelterhouse also believes that prevention of domestic and sexual violence is not only possible, but necessary in the community. Through the Friendship Groups and school presentations, Midland County students learn concepts such as positive communication, coping skills, and boundary setting that form the foundation of healthy relationships. For more information on Shelterhouse and youth-centered services, the 24-Hour Helpline is available at 877-216-6383.
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
We count because your family matters. Everyone matters.
Did you know 40% of Michigan’s funding comes from the federal government? The amount of money Michigan receives depends on the Census - a survey conducted every 10 years to determine the number of people living in the U.S. For every uncounted person, Michigan will lose $1,800 per person per year. Our community is counting on you to ensure important community programs are funded for the next 10 years. That’s why we count.
Look for a Census invitation in the mail in March 2020 with instructions on how to respond online, in the mail or by phone. 2020Census.gov The Great lakes Bay Regional 2020 Census initiative is supported by your local community foundation in Bay, Isabella, Midland and Saginaw Counties.
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40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
Census 2020 We count because Community matters.
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
Turn the page to learn more!
The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute®, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
assets in action
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
Scouts learn about our flag
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS Students have fun together at Whiting Forest
Windover student volunteers at WMFC
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
Band students perform at a BCHS game
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email firstname.lastname@example.org with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.
26 COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
Vikings for Friendship group reads to elementary students
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
Students explore future health careers
MHS students create anti-vaping educational posters
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Coleman students earn awards
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
DEC 2019â€“FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
THE FIVE SOURCES OF
stress in teens Dr. Tim Elmore
had lives with his grandparents whose income is so low they live well below the poverty line in his school district. Because the school is understaffed and has only one counselor, Chad is consistently living in distress, possessing no coping skills. Sara is bullied and sexually harassed as a middle school student. Her grades and demeanor reflect the poor school climate she endures on campus. She is withdrawn and doesn’t ask for help, even though she’s in survival mode. Peyton has been sent to the vice principal’s office four times since the beginning of the school year. There appear to be no significant problems at home, but Peyton spends far too much time on smartphones and is reacting to social media posts. STRESS LEVELS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT All of these scenarios are sources of stress in students. The stress begins as early as elementary school and extends all the way through college. According to the Wall Street Journal, “One recent study found that the rate of moderate to severe depression among U.S. college students rose from 23.2% in 2007 to 41.1% in 2018, while rates of moderate to severe anxiety jumped from 17.9% in 2013 to 34.4% in 2018.” I have found that anxiety and depression often begin with high stress levels. FIVE COMMON SOURCES OF STRESS IN TEENS 1. The Filtered Life Living in a world of constant updates leads to something called “FOMO”—the fear of missing out. Students are constantly comparing themselves to others they see on Instagram, Snapchat, and Pinterest. This often leads to feelings of stress and anxiety. Alexander Brent, a law student from the University of Tennessee, put it this way: “Social media provides a filtered view of our
Elizabeth Hildebrandt, from the University of Toledo, describes this new reality this way: “The typical college student arrives on campus after 18 years of being scheduled and micromanaged by parents. College preparation begins at least at age five, when kids can be shuttled from activity to activity—apparently that’s what ‘successful parents’ must do.”
One recent study found that the rate of moderate to severe depression among U.S. college students rose from 23.2% in 2007 to 41.1% in 2018, while rates of moderate to severe anxiety jumped from 17.9% in 2013 to 34.4% in 2018. friends and peers—the good shines through while the bad stays hidden. This can make us feel as if everyone is happier than we are, as if we’re the only ones with problems, and as if our problems can’t be solved.” 2. The Constant Notifications You already see the influence of the smartphone—and what it does to us all. Students from Generation Z have grown up with smartphones, not just cell phones. Thousands of pings, notifications, pop-ups, and personal messages bombard them daily, minimally distracting them, but often damaging them in a far worse manner. The most common word today’s college students use to describe their lives is overwhelmed. 3. The Supervised Norms Today’s parents, teachers, and coaches are conditioned to prescribe every minute of the young people they lead. Kids’ lives are so overly prescribed that by the time they hit college, many of them don’t have any experience with self-direction.
4. The Undue Pressure Students tell me they feel pressure from every direction: college applications, scholarship competitions, test scores, parental hopes and fears, club sports, you name it. In fact, when we ask high school students in focus groups what causes them the most stress, school is the number one answer. Emily Kaib, a student at Vanderbilt University, describes her feelings this way: “College is so expensive that students feel as if they have to be perfect. Otherwise, they might think they’re failing themselves and their families, who have invested so much in them and their futures.” 5. The Instant Gratification Perhaps no greater cause of misplaced expectations exists than a culture of instant gratification. The fact that young people can easily gratify almost any desire means that they often grow accustomed—even addicted—to that gratification. This can lead to a lack of resilience in tough situations. Alexander Brent, from Tennessee, revealed the consequences of growing up in a culture of instant gratification this way: “By pressing a few buttons we can have meals delivered to our homes; receive step-by-step directions to our destinations; and even find people to date. This ability to satisfy our wants and needs instantly has created a tendency in many of us to panic when faced with real problems. We often lack the ability to grind through adversity, as we’ve come to expect quick and easy solutions. When things don’t go smoothly right away, they can seem hopeless.” ■
About The Author: Tim Elmore is an international speaker and best-selling author of more than 30 books, including Generation iY: The Secrets to Connecting With Teens & Young Adults in the Digital Age, Artificial Maturity: Helping Kids Meet the Challenges of Becoming Authentic Adults, the Habitudes® series, and 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid. He is founder and president of Growing Leaders, an organization equipping today’s young people to become the leaders of tomorrow. Sign up to receive Tim’s blog at www.growingleaders.com/blog and get more information on Growing Leaders at www.GrowingLeaders.com and @GrowingLeaders @TimElmore. Used with permission. All content contained within this article is the property of Growing Leaders, Inc. and is protected by international copyright laws, and may not be reproduced, republished, distributed, transmitted, displayed, broadcast or otherwise exploited in any manner without the express prior written permission of Growing Leaders. Growing Leaders, Inc. names and logos and all related trademarks, tradenames, and other intellectual property are the property of Growing Leaders and cannot be used without its express prior written permission.
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
what is NEGATIVE PEER CULTURE By KELLY ACKERMAN, LCPC
ne of the major tasks in the tween and teen years is self-identity in which kids search not to identify who they are, but how they fit into the world. Additionally, they begin to transition more toward a peer-view of the world where acceptance and peer influence increases. This movement toward independence and peer culture is normal and exciting. Identifying with and connecting with peers in healthy, positive ways often affirms healthy choices, decisions and improves mental health and family relationships. However, parents often find themselves in a losing battle when kids make decisions to identify with a negative peer culture that may increase unsafe risky behaviors, disobedience or declining motivation. Please note that a negative peer culture is not made of “bad” kids, but the dynamic of the group leads to behaviors that often increase tension between the parent and child, and the school and the child while limiting the potential of the child. Of course, starting early as a family to engage in conversations about healthy peer groups is best practice, however, it is never too late to enrich relationships with children and continue to support healthy decision making. Included here are three starting points for parents to maintain positive influence in the lives of their children as it relates to friends and peer groups. GET TO KNOW YOUR CHILD THROUGH LISTENING AND REINFORCING THE POSITIVE Preteens and teens are eager to move toward independence. Actively listening to their feelings and thoughts without attempting to change them becomes a key relationship builder during this developmental change. It is a time to be curious and ask questions rather than instructing and telling which can result in distancing, isolation, or rebellion. As teens begin to question who they are, they may discover they have a
DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
It is possible to share a different viewpoint than the child without needing to be “right.” Keep their development in mind and remember they have a need to explore different options without causing dramatic reactions from the adults around them whom they look to for support. different thought about the world than what they’d been told. Listening fully to those differences without shutting them down will build trust and relationships, strengthening your credibility and trust as a parent. It is possible to share a different viewpoint than the child without needing to be “right.” Keep their development in mind and remember they have a need to explore different options without causing dramatic reactions from the adults around them whom they look to for support. TAKE TIME TO DEFINE VALUES When our behaviors are not in line with our values, it creates internal conflict often in the form of negative self-talk. However, very few people take time to define their core values. Through defining values, we then have a concrete compass to guide our choices and decisions. It is important that each family member define their own set of values and for the family to define a set to utilize for
boundary and rule setting. These values can be different with the understanding that family expectations will be decided based on family values. Yet, gentle confrontation can be utilized with a child who is making decisions that do not align with his/her personal values. This personal set allows for an internal motivation during the adolescent search for self. KNOW WHEN TO SEEK HELP Notice when your child begins to shift into a peer group with whom you are not comfortable, and engage in asking about how the group supports the child’s values and growth. Make it a priority to meet and get to know the peers in the group, setting limits when you become aware of unhealthy patterns. If your child begins to refuse to change friendships or seems stuck in a negative group, seek the help of professionals, school teachers and administration, and let your child know that you love them enough to help them to make this change. When negative peer groups are not addressed, the behaviors and struggles are not likely to change, and will most likely result in further consequences. However, as a parent, you have limited ability to assert control because adolescents will sometimes stop at nothing to exert their own power and control. Seeking outside help is a positive step to showing up for your child when your influence is no longer being considered.
Parents play a key role in the lives of their pre-teens and teens. However, that role begins to weaken as children make the normal, developmentally-appropriate shift to increased peer influence and involvement. It is important to recognize this developmental task and offer support in positive ways to increase the likelihood that children will gravitate to and choose friends who will support their growth and development in healthy, fun, and motivating ways. ■
Dec 2019â€“Feb 2020
NUMBERS Is my child addicted to screens? Games and social media apps have become the preferred coping mechanism for kids. For some, it is the only coping mechanism they know. Whether recovering from a bad day or suffering from the teenage angst that comes with hormones, brain development, and navigating difficult social situations, teens say the ability to escape with technology helps them from dwelling on life situations they can’t control. Unfortunately, brain research is finding that the stress and anxiety students use technology to escape from is exacerbated by its use. Video games are only engaging to individuals if they raise blood pressure to a level that floods the body with cortisol (the body’s stress hormone). Studies also show that cortisol is also released with every text or snapchat left on “read”, and while waiting for the number of “likes” and “views”. Moreover, everyone else’s life looks a little more awesome than ours, since very few people are posting anything but their best, completely filtered self. None of this is new information to parents, but many are asking, “How do I know if my child is addicted or just doing the same thing all of his/her friends are doing?” Things to consider:
The average number of times a child laughs a day.
The weight in pounds of the tallest snowman.
1) Is the person beginning to choose videogames or technology over interactions with friends and family? 2) Does the person feel anxious, depressed, or moody when attempting to cut down on his/her use?
The speed in mph a crack travels when glass breaks.
3) Is the person neglecting school work or other activities in order to spend more time online? 4) Are the person’s closest friends people from an online community (video games or chat groups), more than people he/she sees in daily life? 5) Is the person using technology for longer periods of time in order to get the same sense of satisfaction and wellbeing? 6) Does the person need to immediately respond to an alert on their phone, computer, or gaming device?
200,000 The number of glasses of milk a cow produces in her lifetime.
A Duke University study reported that teens who use screens four hours a day or more are at higher risk for mental health issues (the maximum hours recommended is 2). A word of caution ... as you begin to question your child’s screen time, they will be checking yours, as well. If you are like me, you may need to find a different way to keep your patience in a grocery line.
The percentage of dog owners who say they’ve talked to their pet on the phone.
RECOMMENDED READING: Glow Kids by Nicholas Kadaras iGen by Jean Twenge
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DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
The number of years summer lasts on Uranus.
#suicideprevention FREE, CONFIDENTIAL COUNSELING Our Youth Services program can provide help to teens in their school during the school day Family Issues • Relationships • Bullying LGBTQ Support • Grief Counseling Substance Use • Pregnancy Support Appointments can be made through the school counseling office.
Family & Children’s Services 989.631.5390 • fcs-midland.org
STAY WITH THAT PERSON LISTEN, REALLY LISTEN GET THEM TO HELP OR CALL SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP NEVER KEEP A SECRET ABOUT SUICIDE. IT IS BETTER TO LOSE A FRIEND THAN FOR A FRIEND TO LOSE THEIR LIFE.
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Dec 2019–Feb 2020
DEC 2019â€“FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
and the parent/child connection: Activities and Strategies for the Developing Child and Adolescent By EMILY WASHUT, MOTR/L s a Pediatric Occupational Therapist, I have been lucky enough to work with many families and parents – each as unique as the child I’m working with. I stress the importance of carry over in the home setting to ensure the strategies and skills we address in therapy are reinforced to increase success and independence. This may be as simple as utilizing a visual schedule in the home to help with transitions with a morning routine or the use of tight squeezes and “big hugs” from the parent to give their child increased deep pressure input when they’re showing signs of their sensory system being out of balance. This also requires the promotion of a healthy and positive parent (caregiver)/child relationship and stresses the importance of connection for regulation, learning, and the ability to thrive in different environments and at different stages and ages. Self-regulation is frequently addressed and discussed in my field. As more extensive research is done behind the neurology of connection and child development, new programs are being implemented and developed to support the child, family, and professional to increase successes, attain new skills, and refine existing skills. Many of these pertain to social-emotional development – especially throughout childhood. Another “angle” where Occupational Therapists have a unique take on parent/ child connection is through extensive knowledge of childhood and brain development. This knowledge provides us with the ability to help parents in parenting through a place of appropriate developmental timelines while also promoting connection. For example, some children may show a “chronological age” far superior to their developmental and regulatory skills. In these instances, we help parents take things back to a more developmental level to look at the
bigger picture and to help make these connections in a place where the child better understands and is successful before increasing expectations or parenting requirements. Each strategy and “game plan” is unique to each child and family. The American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA) notes the acknowledgement of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) to “prepare the children of today to be productive, caring, and responsible citizens”. Where does this start? Connection throughout childhood. This begins to develop in utero and lasts not only throughout childhood, but throughout the lifespan. All 50 states in the United States have even developed SEL standards for preschool programming, only further highlighting the importance of these foundational skills in being a successful peer, friend, family member, coworker…the list is endless. One of my personal favorite programs is the “Positive Discipline” program developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen. This program utilizes a tool referred to as “Connection before Correction”. This particular tool addresses the importance of connection to establish a trust and a feeling of safety before the child is open to successful correction. Also popular is the “connection before regulation” saying that’s been seen floating around so many OT and parenting websites. Basically, before a child can be open to correction, open to regulating their sensory system (this can look different for every child, sensory processing and sensory processing disorder is something many children I see struggle with and regulation before expectations is huge), this connection must be established and in place. So how do we develop these connections? Like I stated above, it starts early and the importance of connection doesn’t stop as our children age. There are MANY different strategies and activities than the ideas I’ll give here, so please…take these, make them your own.
PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. Simple, but can be so difficult to do in the world we’re currently living in. As adults and parents, we have responsibilities that need tending to (sometimes immediately), but when we look at the importance of connection with our children we have to look at what this means. Being able to put your phone in a drawer or out of sight in the time it takes to do an activity or have a conversation with your child promotes eye contact, engagement, and sends the message of “you are most important” is huge. SNUGGLE THOSE BABIES There has been extensive research in the area of physical touch and brain development in infants. I’ve also found this can be very generational. You may have to kindly tell grandma, that no, you’re not going to “spoil” your child; you’re simply helping them promote healthy connections and relationships. CARVE OUT SPECIAL TIME As a mom to a vibrant and hysterical twoyear old, I’ve been lucky to focus solely on her, as she’s our first (and currently only) child. No matter what your family makeup is, it is important to have special time, special routines, or special one-on-one time with each of your children to promote connection and growth. SHOW INTEREST Adolescents and teenagers can be a tough age group to really feel connected to as they develop and establish their independence. However, it is important to check in and establish an open rapport and conversation without fear of judgment. This will look different for everyone, but by showing interest in his or her life, friends, and his or her interests, that parent/child connection can still exist and thrive. ■
About The Author: Emily Washut is a licensed and registered Occupational Therapist practicing in the state of Wyoming. She is the co-founder and Director of Occupational Therapy for Trilogy Therapy, LLC, focused on promoting a mixed model of teletherapy and onsite practice to serve rural and underserved school districts. www.tlc4cs.org
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
Make a difference in a child’s life by becoming a tutor. Call Kristi at (989) 496-1425 to register for our next tutor training.
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DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
IMPACTS OF MARIJUANA
on the teenage brain By NICOLE HACKLEY, Prevention Technical Assistance Leader
ately, the topic of marijuana is being brought up in more and more conversations. Federal laws still classify it as a Schedule 1 Drug, meaning it is a substance or chemical with no currently accepted medical use, a high potential for abuse and the ability to create severe psychological and/or physical dependence. As 11 states with recreational marijuana laws have legalized its use for adults over 21, and medicinal marijuana can only be obtained by a medical professional in 33 other states, the perception of risk in using marijuana has decreased among youth-meaning they do not see using the drug as risky. According to the 2018 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), youth ages 12-17 have reported a significant decrease in the perception of harm of weekly marijuana use from 40.6% in 2015 to 34.9% in 2018. Substance abuse prevention professionals work to increase perception of risk of drug use, with the goal of reducing usage rates. They do this because the effects of marijuana on the developing teen brain can have lifetime repercussions. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration states that one in six youth who try marijuana will become addicted. Affecting the
hippocampus part of the brain, it impairs attention, memory and concentration. When people begin using marijuana as teenagers, the drug may impair thinking, memory, and learning functions and affect how the brain builds connections between the areas necessary for these functions. At a time when mental health is at the forefront of problems being discussed in America, it is important to point out a clear relationship between youth marijuana use and the increase of major psychiatric episodes. Those who used cannabis more than ten times before age 18 were 2-3 times more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. This statistic alone is disturbing, but is compounded by the knowledge that the average concentration of THC, the active drug in marijuana, has more than tripled from about 4% in 1995 to 13.18% in 2017. Higher doses can lead to acute toxic psychosis, including hallucinations and delusions. Parents and caregivers want their kids to grow up and be the healthiest, best versions of themselves. Marijuana greatly restricts that, so it’s imperative parents talk to their kids about how dangerous this drug is, and that its effects can lead to a lifetime of problems. For additional information visit: samhsa.gov/marijuana. ■ www.tlc4cs.org
Dec 2019–Feb 2020
Funded by Mid State Health Network
Why dual enroll? You can get college credit while you’re in high school. But there’s more to it than that: • It’s a two-for-one deal. Dual enrollment classes can count toward high school graduation and college credit. • Dual enrollment classes are usually paid for by your high school. You’ll have the potential to finish college early and pay less overall. • You can take classes that aren’t available at your high school.
delta.edu/equity 119-125 (11/19)
• College courses broaden your horizon, challenge you and help you dream big.
Delta’s credits transfer.
Tons of courses to choose from.
options for locations, too.
The college credits you earn as a dual enrollment student at Delta can transfer to a lot of places. Check out what transfers at the Transfer Wizard. (delta.edu/transferwizard)
Last year, a few popular courses were Certified Nursing Assistant, Calculus, Computer Science and more.
Courses are held at all of Delta’s locations, including Bay City, Midland, Saginaw, several high schools and online.
Talk to your high school counselor for options that fit your interests.
delta.edu • firstname.lastname@example.org • 989-686-9428
The Legacy Center for Community Success 3200 James Savage Road, Suite 5 Midland, MI 48642
Get Back in the Game Safely and Quickly with In addition to injury prevention, MidMichigan Health’s WellSport Program is designed to help expedite the assessment, referral and treatment of athletes of all ages suffering from strains, sprains, contusions, fractures, joint injuries and concussions. The program focuses on injury prevention through education and training, helping injured athletes return to play as safely and quickly as possible, as well as managing medical conditions that can affect performance. This multi-disciplinary program is the region’s only medically-directed sports medicine practice.
Program Goals § Prevent injuries through education and training. § Help athletes of all ages achieve their highest
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Campus Ridge Building 4401 Campus Ridge Drive, Suite 1000 Phone (989) 837-9350
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DEC 2019–FEB 2020 | YC MAGAZINE
§ Manage medical conditions that can affect
performance, such as asthma, diabetes, heart disease, weight or arthritis.
§ Promote the use of “exercise as medicine” to maximize health and wellness.
For more information, visit www.midmichigan.org/wellsport.