A QUIET BATTLE WITH MYSELF
FIGHTING BACK ANXIETY DURING A MEMORABLE MOMENT Written by Juan Miranda
I
Illustrated by Lauren Hadnot n early 2017, I finally had something to be excited about. I was finally going to start college.
After graduating from Animo South Los Angeles Charter High School in 2016, I was supposed to enroll at the University of California, Riverside. My dream school.
Unfortunately, those plans fell through. I was denied financial aid and I had no other way of paying for my education. As an 18-year-old, I felt it was too soon to take up a considerable amount of debt with student loans.
When I found out I wouldn’t be enrolling, it was already late in the summer, and I’d be lucky to find any community college classes that could squeeze me in, let alone come up with an education plan 98 Warrior Life
for myself.
It felt like a big blow to the gut when I realized I had no backup plan. I’d stepped up to the plate and struck out.
UC Riverside was my only option. And for the fall 2016 semester, I had no further options. So, I sat out the semester. No doubt, I was hurt by my shortcomings. My turmoil, my demons — anxiety and depression — were resurging. At that point, I had suffered from mental disorders since I was 14.
For a vast chunk of the year, I was distraught. My dreams would not be coming true. As an incoming first-generation Latino college student from South Central Los Angeles, I felt I had become nothing more than a negative statistic for my community
