The Best Advice You've Ever Heard about Parenting
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Parenting can be tricky; being asked to be immaculate by another who is yet to see your flaws and shortcomings is much more than just an expectation- it is a responsibility. Yet I have seen my own mother look at me tired and helplessly at times, unsure of what to do or say next even in moments when I needed her to have all the answers. And therefore through trial and error, triumph and disappointments, day after day we learn more about each other as parent and child. However, unlike the journeys we undertake as individuals, the risks are much higher when it comes to parenting. Here every action, every choice and every gesture not only shapes the face of our life, but another’s as well. In fact in so many ways, and at so many levels, parenting shapes the face of tomorrow through all it touches and effects. Therefore no matter what the challenge and just how tired we may be, the responsibility of parenting is not one to be taken lightly- whole lives are at stake here, quite literally might I add. Therefore while it is admirable to do our best, and in reality that is all we can be sure of, it is equally important to step beyond our self and parent in greater awareness. For in truth, all parenting is a call to growth and evolution, an invitation to be more than just the sum of your lifein the interest of another as much as for yourself. Getting a little sound advice at the right time can go a long way in smoothening out the journey, and saving you and your child a lot of heartachenow and later on in life. But the choices here too are aplenty, and yet again we are called to exercise discernment in picking, adopting and adapting this advice into our own lives. The perspectives and approaches may be varied and many in number, but there are also some sound nuggets of wisdom to be found-
ones that stand valid no matter what your situation, perspective, beliefs or reservations. These jewels of parenting advice are a great foundation to build your relationship and experience on, for they help you create a better platform and environment to share with your kids. Of these, my own favorite is a simple adage- take responsibility: you are directly responsible for your kid’s well-being; your kids are not directly responsible for yours. That is to say, children need to explore, make mistakes, learn their lessons and discover who they really are within the safety of your embrace. This may mean you are sometimes at the receiving end of their hormones going out of control or unexpressed emotions getting the better of them. But as a parent it is vital you not take this personally. Yes, draw your boundaries firmly, but when your kid is acting out or being difficult, remember to focus on what will help them heal instead of rigidly holding their errors against them. Their words and actions may upset or disappoint you, but try and remember they are still learning and developing. Make them accountable for their discretions but do not get unduly harsh as a play of your personal power or ego- this will only affect them further and delay their process of learning and healing. Your kids may be a lot more stubborn than you are, and might talk and even think like an adult. But always remember, in this relationship it is your job to keep the greater perspective, the bigger picture in mind- even when they are busy rebelling against you. You don’t need to be perfect; you just need to be aware and compassionate.