Drake Mag Spring 2025

DRAKE MAG

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

In this issue of Drake Mag — we’re moving on.

If you’re uncertain about the next chapter, or the world is feeling heavy — you’re not alone. These stories offer ways to hold onto optimism — taking it one step at a time to provide solutions, or at least comfort.

I’m deeply grateful to have guided the magazine’s vision as editor-in-chief this year and it has been the most rewarding experience to watch this team grow.

A huge thank you to the Art Director, Eve Kelly, and Photo Director, Jayden James, for embracing this theme and crafting the magazine this year. I’m so proud of your leadership and grateful that I got to create these past two issues with you both. Thank you to the editorial team for your talent, humor, and courage — you have a wizardry for words. Lastly, thank you to the team of writers, designers, and photographers — your talent and dedication show on every page.

I’m very proudly handing off these pages to the future EditorIn-Chief, Amanda Favazza. It has been an absolute joy to watch you grow into this position and I’m looking forward to seeing your vision come to life in the next issue of Drake Mag.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Bella Spah

ART DIRECTOR

Eve Kelly

PHOTO DIRECTOR

Jayden James

MANAGING EDITOR

Kylie Petty

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Gunner Onkst

Amanda Favazza

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Stella Pihlstrom

DIGITAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

Melodie Yang

PHOTO

Kaitlyn Wood

Sarah Fey

DESIGN

Ava Leigh

Reese Modugno

Sarah Fey

Jordan Wyer

Maria Hernandez

Tyler Strachan

Emily Zeller

Plum Brugenhemke

WORDS

Olivia Sigler

Jack Harrington

Lainey Arrol

Lily Fleming

Candace Carr

Liz Rosa

Anna Greenwaldt

Seth Coughlin

Caroline Siebels-Lindquist

Jinessa Lewis

Artemis Goin

Dashae Engler

Special thanks to Dean Catherine Staub, Associate Dean Kelly Bruhn, Jen Wilson, Jeff Inman, John Fender, Kate Busch, Drake School of Journalism & Mass Communication, Gina Ryan, Christian Edwards Printing, all of our models, and everyone who has supported us behind the scenes.

BITS & PIECES A est H et IC s Wellness CULTURE

THE WEEKENDER GUIDE

Travel smart with these packing tips.

A weekend away can be a necessary reset until the stress of packing replaces the chaos you’re trying to escape — three “just in case” outfits, a full firstaid kit, and enough snacks for an army. Travel is unpredictable, but a strategically packed suitcase keeps you ahead of the game.

THE OUTFIT EQUATION

Pick a standout piece and treat it like a puzzle — if you can create at least two outfits

around it, pack it. Packing light doesn’t mean sacrificing style — it’s about strategy and practice. “I put all the items I think I might need on top of my suitcase, and I’ll pack, edit, and repack until it all fits,” says Stephanie Schuck-Glaser, a blogger for Travel Oops.

SHOE SOLUTIONS

Shoes take up the most space, so be selective. Don’t run yourself into a bad decision by overpacking those trendy sneakers. “I normally only bring tennis shoes, flip-flops, and a pair of walkable sandals,” Schuck-Glaser says. Wear your

ADDICTED TO LIP BALM?

WHAT To AVoID

1

ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL

“Isopropyl alcohol can be a drying ingredient and can lead to lip irritation,” says Dr. Karan Lal, a double board-certified dermatologist. It can strip the natural lip barrier, causing your lips to burn. Frequent use will result in cracked lips, which increases the risk of infection from the weakened skin barrier.

2

SALICYLIC ACID

Salicylic acid is an exfoliation product known for stripping your lips’ natural barrier. Excessive exposure to this ingredient can lead to severe dryness, increasing the need to constantly add moisture to your lips. “I strongly advise against it,” says Dr. Faraaz Zafar, a dermatologist at Iowa Dermatology Clinic. “It can cause chemical burns.”

3 1 2

CAMPHOR

bulkiest shoes on travel days, and use the space inside your packed pairs for socks, chargers, or souvenirs.

GLAM TO THE 3.4 FLUID OUNCE POWER

For a carry-on, full-size products are unnecessary and aren’t TSA-approved. Opt for travelsize products. Check if your accommodations provide hair tools to lighten your load, and invest in a toiletry bag with a hook to save counter space. If you’re still sitting on your suitcase to zip it shut, try compression packing cubes to squeeze out excess air.

Quit reapplying. Here’s what to skip and what heals. WORDS OLIVIA SIGLER | DESIGN AVA

Camphor — despite its cooling effect — is an irritant. Over time, it will make your lips more sensitive. This sensitivity can lead to a neverending cycle of feeling like you need to apply more moisture to soothe the discomfort.

InsteAD, Use:

PETROLEUM

“Ingredients like petroleum will help moisturize your lips,” Lal says. Not only does petroleum have soothing properties, but it effectively locks and seals moisture into your lips. Its thick consistency keeps your lips soft, especially during dry seasons when lips are prone to cracking.

HYALURONIC ACID

“Look for ingredients like hyaluronic acid, which are hydrating,” Lal says. Hyaluronic acid is a natural

substance that prevents lips from peeling by preserving moisture. It supports the skin’s natural barrier, keeping irritants out while ensuring long-lasting comfort for your lips.

3

DIMETHICONE

Dimethicone is known for its smooth application and long-lasting hydration. “I find [that dimethicone] is the most moisturizing, [and] people are less likely to be allergic to it,” Zafar says. It’s a siliconebased ingredient, which minimizes the likelihood of allergic reactions. It provides a breathable layer to the lips without causing any irritation and gives the lips a smooth finish.

WORDS LAINEY ARROL DESIGN AVA LEIGH

STAY SAFE, STAY SHARP

Your guide for a night out

WORDS LILY FLEMING | DESIGN AVA LEIGH

A Friday night out is a welcoming escape from the daily grind. Prepare tonight for a safer tomorrow — take care of yourself and your drinking buddies, too.

BUDDY SYSTEM

Look after each other so everyone gets home safely — create a community of care. Make sure your friends know they can rely on you when the night comes to an end. Your support system is those you rideshare with and those who let you know when it’s time to lay off the booze.

“Make it very clear to the people around you that you are someone that’s safe to talk to,” says Kelly-Marie Meek, the Prevention and Public Health Initiatives Coordinator at the Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault.

TECH TOOLS

Your phone can be your strongest ally on a night out. Before heading out:

Have a charged battery.

Share your location with trusted friends.

Use safety apps like Noonlight, which dispatches authorities to your location in minutes.

Log into your preferred rideshare app and update your payment information.

PRIORITIZE YOUR WELL-BEING

Eat a full meal, stay hydrated, and set a drink limit to save yourself from a nasty hangover.

Carry condoms — that third shot of Fireball might make you feel ready for anything, but it won’t protect you from STIs or pregnancy.

Make mental notes of what happens throughout the night and stay present. Know when brain fog hits and it’s time to slow down on the vodka Red Bulls.

Watch for date-rape drugs by keeping an eagle eye on your drink. If the ice in your drink has sunk, that’s a key indicator that something’s off — you’re better off ditching it.

And with that — hit the town.

sUnGLAsses tHAT DeFIne

YoUR LooK

Let’s face it, it’s not just about UV protection.

You should look at life through a positive frame — that’s certainly easier when you have good glasses on your face. Here’s your guide to finding the perfect pair.

TIMELESS AND EDGY

Aviators are a true classic with their jumbo frames. They block out glare and provide an extra layer of privacy — no more awkward eye contact with your ex. Choose frames that fit your skin tone: gold for warm, silver for cool. These versatile shades suit oval, square, and heart face shapes.

SPORTY AND BOLD

Y2K is making a comeback, so grab a pair of wraparound glasses for your next throwback party. They’re also great for athletes — pop on a pair for your next game of basketball or beer pong. Anyone with an oval, round, square, or heart-shaped face can rock these, and those who love them live by them.

SLEEK AND CHIC

VINTAGE AND INTELLECTUAL

Round sunglasses are quirky and retro. Opt for black or brown lenses for casual looks, or choose bolder colors for extra flair. They’re an instant eye-catcher for square, triangle, diamond, or oval face shapes.

The cat-eye confidence has an air of mystery — exactly what you need when going out to the clubs or trying to mask your hangover in style. A fashion boost to all — these sunglasses look best with round, heartshaped, or oval face shapes.

SOPHISTICATED AND APPROACHABLE

Wayfarer glasses are classy, versatile frames for your next coastal vacation or indie music festival. Most commonly made in black, they can be styled with almost anything. They pair well with round, oblong, or oval face shapes.

WORDS JACK HARRINGTON | DESIGN AVA LEIGH

BUDS TO BOUQUETS

WORDS ANNA GREENWALDT

PHOTO KAITLYN WOOD

DESIGN PLUM BRUGENHEMKE

You’ve seen it in movies — the protagonist walks into a room flooded with roses, or daisies if you’re a Gilmore Girls fan. Flowers can show love or ask for a second chance.

Instead of picking store-packaged roses, create a bouquet for the special people in your life. Say “I’m so into you,” or “I feel what you’re going through,” with fewer words and more florals.

Create the perfect flower arrangement.

COLOR THEORY

Take a trip to your local farmers market or flower shop to gather your stems. Pick a main color and stick to its palette of warm or cool tones.

1 2

“Pick three colors all close together,” says Chris Clark, owner of Flower Bed in Nevada, Iowa. “[Limit] your use to only a few botanicals.”

Try blending soft pink lilies, lavender stock, and hot pink roses — all in the same color family.

Take the meanings of colors into consideration as you build your bouquet. Colors can create visual harmony with their symbolism. Lavender is delicate and elegant, while pink is joyful and gentle. Blue inspires feelings of relaxation, and green is linked to health and good fortune.

FILLERS

Some flowers stand out while others remain in the background. Filler flowers add texture and fullness to your bouquet without stealing the spotlight. Small but lush, baby’s breath, forget-me-nots, and goldenrods provide structure to your arrangement.

Layer in some greenery to fill your flower arrangement and add character. Try leaves, branches, ivy, or eucalyptus. Get creative — flower arranging is meant to be playful and fun.

3

FOCAL FLOWER

Find flowers that stand out as the pièce de résistance of your vase. These could be roses, peonies, or hydrangeas — anything big and bright. Base your arrangement around these bolder botanicals and make sure to get their good side.

Like colors, flowers have different meanings, so it can be fun to get personal when choosing the focal flower. For birthdays, pick out their birth month flower. Daffodils and white tulips symbolize new beginnings so throw them into your friend’s “You got the internship” bouquet. Red roses are classic — they symbolize love, so they’re great for anniversaries.

Just be mindful of your floral choice so you don’t accidentally say, “Netflix and cuddle?”

4

GETTING SET UP

Now that you’ve selected your flowers, put it all together. Before beginning your flower arrangement, use floral tape to create a grid on top of your vase to keep the flowers upright.

Vases are a classic display, but jars, glass bottles, or old watering cans give your flower arrangement a beautifully rustic feel—and you probably already have one lying around. Wrapping them in newspaper can make your creation more authentic.

“Choose a container first, then a foundation of greens — that creates structure for your design,” Clark says. “I put my [focal] flowers in first, building my way up and finishing with accent, filler flowers. Lastly, I frame the design with a few greens.”

It’s all about the presentation.

Tip: Before beginning your flower arrangement, use floral tape to create a grid on top of your vase to keep the flowers upright.

5

READY FOR DISPLAY

Deb Pudenz, owner of Wild Rose Interior Designs in Des Moines, Iowa, recommends putting flowers in spaces that don’t get as much natural light.

“They bring what you’re missing from a window,” she says.

When the flowers start to droop, press them into books or hang them upside down to dry for two to four weeks. Memorialize the bouquet by putting the flowers into a picture frame to keep them forever.

WORKIN’ IT

WORDS STELLA PIHLSTROM | DESIGN MARIA HERNANDEZ

You’ve flipped hamburgers, folded khaki pants, or some other variation of sole-sucking customer service. But you’re all grown up, and it’s time for your first big-kid job — and big-kid clothes.

“Our perception of corporate wear has changed within the past twenty years,” says Jacob Galos, a costume designer and tailor based in Kansas City, Missouri.

Here’s your guide to staying sharp from Zoom calls to the board room.

GET THE GOODS

Just because you’re a 20-something who landed a corporate gig doesn’t mean you have it all together — your bank account included. If you’ve scoured your wardrobe and can’t find what you need, hit the thrift store or the clearance racks.

Kelsey Lenoch, a Dr. Marten merchandiser based in London, says to look for brand names and fiber content when you’re thrifting.

She recommends brands like Gap, Lands End, L.L. Bean, or Eddie Bauer for high-quality work attire. As for fiber content, look for cotton and wool — steer clear of polyester.

“They’ll be easier to clean, easier to maintain, and they’ll last you longer,” Lenoch says.

Getting your hands on higher-quality pieces is an investment — fast fashion and trends aren’t worth it. Only buy things you can see yourself wearing a year from now.

PUTTING IT TOGETHER

You don’t need an infinite wardrobe — just a small collection of staples you can swap around to create countless outfits.

Start with base-layer shirts — plain tees, camisoles, and turtlenecks. Layer them with a cardigan, pullover sweater, vest, or Oxford button up. The Oxford can be worn on its own and does heavy lifting for a masculine closet.

For more feminine looks, go with a blouse. When you really need to take care of business, forgo the flowy tops for something more structured, such as a peplum.

Avoid sun dresses — go with a classic a-line or wrap dress. Pencil skirts are a great option, but if you want something shorter, pleated skirts are professional yet youthful.

“Something you can dress up or dress down really easily is corduroy,” Galos says.

Corduroy can add texture to slacks — a corporate essential. Thinner ribs in the fabric are more dressy, and wider ones are more casual.

If you wear jeans, pair them with a dressier top and aim for a dark wash without holes.

FROM 9 TO 5

Build your professional wardrobe.

Make sure your shoes are comfortable from nine to five. Ballet flats and Mary Janes are elegant without the extra pain of a heel.

“You want to be comfortable,”Lenoch says. “[Not] feeling like you’re in clothes that are stifling you.”

For unisex options, Oxford lace-ups or Chelsea boots are always a solid choice, especially in black. If your work allows it, you could even wear sneakers — just make sure they’re clean.

LAYER UP

According to Lenoch, the secret weapon for office fashion is layering.

“Having separates is important,” Lenoch says. “Not only is that going to give you versatility, [but] there’s something a little bit more professional-looking about a layered look.”

Layering also helps for movement between indoor and outdoor climates. Have two or three staple jackets that keep you warm and up the ante of any look.

A blazer or peacoat is polished and makes you look like you know your stuff. For a more dressed-down look, denim jackets are an easy pick.

“One way to spruce [up your look] is accents of either suede or leather,” Galos says.

Playing with fabrics can add extra texture and give your outfit a leg up.

THE WORKWEAR FORMULA

1. For clothes, stick to neutral colors you can easily mixand-match — black, white, grey, and earth tones. Accessories are cheaper, so you can accumulate more statement pieces to give your outfits extra personality and break through that ever-lame corporate grey.

2. Patterns add extra intrigue, so introduce classic patterns like pinstripe, plaid, and herringbone. Keep it to one element per outfit to avoid pattern clashing.

3. It’s important to know your workplace’s dress code — if all else fails, look at what your coworkers wear. Do they lean more business, or casual?

4. Don’t get caught up in antiquated ideas about what a “professional” looks like. Find your uniform and wear it with pride.

s me LL B et T e R THAN THE STARS

Perfumes tailored to your star sign

ARIes:

You need something exciting. You have no filter and we love that.

“Juliette” by Juliette Has a Gun, $4.95, scentbird.com

With dark cherry, amber, and jasmine — this warm, spicy scent will keep you feeling daring throughout the day.

“Sauvage” by Dior, $3.29, surrendertochance.com

This infamous cologne has notes of bergamot, nutmeg, and vanilla for a fragrance that’s passionate and decisive, just like you.

GemInI:

You need no introduction. Your charisma carries you through a room and you love some flirty banter.

“Yellow Diamond” by Versace, $4.95, scentbird.com

Notes of lemon, amber, and pear make you irresistible — but we know that already.

“Morning After” by Confessions of a Rebel, $4.95, scentbird.com

This blend of patchouli, lavender, and lemon will make anyone swoon.

TAURUs:

You’re not a fan of change. You’ll never want to part with these timeless scents.

“Lazy Sunday Morning” by Maison Margiela Replica, $4.25, surrendertochance.com

Make your homebody self feel like you’re wrapped in freshly washed sheets.

“Fresh Brewed Coffee” by Demeter, $3.99, surrendertochance.com

This masculine scent is a loyal companion that will never lead you astray.

CAnCeR:

You’re a sensitive soul — these scents will put you at ease.

“You Rêve” by Glossier, $32, glossier.com

Notes of buttercream, plum, and toasted almond are addictive and will give you the comfort you seek.

“Milk Expressive” by Commodity, $4.95, scentbird.com

With cool milk, marshmallow, and mahogany, this woodsy but soft scent is perfect for your delicate aura.

WORDS AMANDA FAVAZZA DESIGN EMILY ZELLER

Leo:

You exude warmth and personality. You’re bright and love to stand out.

“Grapefruit” by Jo Malone, $4.99, scentdecant.com

Peppermint, tangerine, and its namesake, grapefruit, have you smelling like summer no matter the weather.

“Lust for Sun” by Juliette Has a Gun, $4.95, scentbird.com Coconut, tangerine, and vanilla make you feel like you have sun-kissed skin and sand between your toes.

LIBRA:

You love a reliable companion and struggle to make decisions. Let’s make this easy for you.

“Daisy Dream” by Marc Jacobs, $5.95, scentbird.com

This is the aesthetic perfume of your dreams — jasmine and blackberry make you feel clean and easygoing.

“Vanilla Skin” by Phlur, $2.99, surrendertochance.com

This body mist feels like you’re wrapped in a cashmere sweater by a fireplace.

sAGItTARIUs:

You’re fiery and so are these perfumes. They’re friendly but have no limits.

“Cherry Punk” by Room 1015, $4.95, scentbird.com

With cherry, saffron, and leather, this perfume is intense and mysterious.

“Baccarat Rouge 540” by Maison Francis Kurkdjian, $5.99, scentdecant.com

This delicately sensual scent is unisex but leans more masculine with cedar and amber notes.

AQUARIUs:

You love to be free. You also like to believe in everything and everyone.

“Candy Shop” by Memoire Archives, $4.95, scentbird.com

This scent is a sweet wonderland with notes of peach, vanilla, and watermelon.

Mr. Burberry, $5.95, scentbird.com

Fresh grapefruit and woody notes of cedarwood, sandalwood, and guaiac wood are unique just like you — don’t worry, this cologne gets you.

VIRGo:

Everything you own serves a purpose. These perfumes are appropriate for any occasion and never overtake the room.

“Leather Skies” by Maison Francis Kurkdijian, $2.99, surrendertochance.com

With Sicilian citron, white flowers, and musky wood, this light scent works for any setting.

“Aqua Universalis” by Maison Francis Kurkdijian, $5.99, scentdecant.com

A masculine blend of classic leather and black sandalwood makes this a staple smell for you and your professional side.

sCoRPIo:

You’re mysterious and sensitive. These scents pair well with your darker aura.

“Libre” by YSL, $3.29, surrendertochance.com

This scent is the essence of chic. With lavender, orange, and vanilla, it has those dark undertones you love.

“Bad Boy” by Carolina Herrera, $4.99, scentdecant.com

This lightning in a bottle has notes of pepper, cedar, and sage. Spicy, just like you.

CAPRICoRn:

You’re the responsible friend of the group — you mean business.

“Pistil Whip” by Heretic, $4.95, scentbird.com

With a cool aroma of rain and florals, it lets everyone know you’ve got your stuff together.

“Lucienne” by Liis, $4.95, scentbird.com

This scent is clean and clear with dragon fruit, magnolia, and a pinch of salt.

PIsCes:

You’re a romantic and love to blur the line between fantasy and reality. These aromas are irresistibly ethereal.

“Rose Prick” by Tom Ford, $9.99, scentdecant.com

Rose, turmeric, and pepper blend for a sensual yet romantic feel, leaving you smelling like a fairytale.

“Bleu Noir Extreme” by Narciso Rodriguez, $4.99 scentdecant.com

Icy notes of citrus and sensual wood will make you feel like you’re in a dream.

sLeeP sURVIvaL KIt

Gen Z is sleep-deprived — here’s how to break the cycle. WORDS

KYLIE PETTY | DESIGN SARAH FEY

Sleep deprivation is bordering on an epidemic for Gen Z. Whether you’re out partying, studying, texting your situationship, or scrolling yourself into an existential pit of doom – we’ve all got stuff that keeps us up at night.

“Sleep deprivation in Gen Z arises from the desire to stay awake longer and get more done,” says Junjie Liu, clinical assistant professor in sleep medicine at the University of Iowa. “And from sensory overstimulation due to smartphones [and] social media.”

The best way to combat sleep deprivation is to change your behavior before your head hits the pillow. Once you’re dreaming about swimming through the clouds, it’s out of your hands.

This mini section is a one-stop shop for everything you need to know to improve your sleep quality — not just quantity.

SLEEP DEPRIVATION

“While quality is more important than quantity, you still need at least five hours of total sleep time each day to reach the quality,” Liu says.

Megan Ng, a sleep medicine specialist at Broadlawns Medical Center in Des Moines, Iowa, says sleep deprivation messes with your body in a lot of ways. If you don’t consistently get those five hours of sleep, your physical health will start to decline.

Big picture–sleep deprivation can increase cortisol levels, mess with appetite and metabolism, and hurt cardiovascular health. To add to the list, it can also increase anxiety, stress, and depression.

So even if you pass that exam or those cocktails were made just right, getting stuck in poor sleep habits can screw up all parts of your life. Luckily, improving sleep is within your control.

“[Set] realistic expectations for yourself,” Ng says. “If you can make a small change that is helpful, then consider that a win.”

1.

AVOID THE NINE-MINUTE SNOOZE

Snoozing your alarm can be awfully satisfying, but it makes you more groggy when you get out of bed. Avoid falling back asleep multiple times and find a way to wake up slowly. Set a shorter three-minute snooze to avoid hitting the REM stage again. You might want to curl up and ignore the world, but it’s time to get your day started.

2. PHOTOSYNTHESIZE

“Getting up during the daylight [and] seeing sunshine is really important for our circadian rhythm to help us regulate our normal wake and sleep hours,” Ng says.

If you’re in dire need of some vitamin D, get outside during daylight hours or open the curtains and let the sunlight steal away your fatigue.

MORNING ROUTINE NIGHT ROUTINE

1. GET COMFY

When you’re done with your work, take a shower and put on your pajamas — you’re in for the night. It’s also a small routine that lets your body know it’s time to wind down.

“[Keep] distractions away from your room as much as possible,” Ng says.

Turn off the big light, turn the thermostat down, and invest in a noise machine to drown out the noisy neighbors.

“[Make] your sleeping environment really conducive to rest,” Ng says. “[Have] a good mattress, a good pillow … dark, quiet, cool.”

2. GET TO BED

Save your mattress for sleeping, sex, and relaxation.

“Keep an area where it’s dedicated just to sleep,” Ng says. “It creates this mental safe zone where your brain knows that you’re safe and you’re comfortable.”

No emailing from bed. The more you stress over work from your bed during the day, the more your stress will keep you up at night.

3. MOVE YOUR BODY

“The more active you are, whether that’s mentally or physically, [requires] more rest for your brain,” Ng says.

People who work out more fall asleep quicker and deeper, so even if you can’t get a solid workout in, find time for movement during the day. Work and classes take a hit to your mental energy — pull out a book or a crossword on slower days for extra stimulation. Instagram reels won’t cut it.

4. AVOID THE AFTERNOON COFFEE HIT

Eliminate caffeine 10 hours before going to bed. If you want quality sleep, cut yourself off by 4 p.m. at the latest.

“People consume caffeine a lot later than they need to, or they say ‘It doesn’t affect me,’” Ng says. “But it does. It impacts your brain’s sleep cycles.”

3. WIND-DOWN

Dim the brightness on your phone and hold it just over a foot from your face to reduce that pesky blue light exposure before bed. Put it away an hour before falling asleep.

“If you can’t do a whole hour, then aim for what would be manageable for you, whether that’s 15 minutes or 30 minutes,” Ng says.

Have your nightly scroll, then put it down. Find a non-screen activity to ease you into sleep. It could be a face mask, reading, or even masturbating. Anything to get your mind off that big assignment you haven’t started.

Try this guided body scan meditation inspired by Mindfulness Exercises to relax your body and hault your racing thoughts.

Use your breath to bring relaxation into your body.

Breathe in, feel your lungs fill with air.

Exhale, feel your body soften into your mattress.

Inhale. Exhale.

Starting from the crown of your head, bringing awareness to your body. Does your scalp feel tight? Inhale, and imagine the crown of your head relaxing on the exhale.

Move your awareness to your forehead. Is it scrunched? Inhale, and relax your forehead on the exhale

Check in with every part of your body, giving each one a complete breath. Eyebrows. Nose. Cheeks. Chin. Neck. Shoulders. All the way down to your toes.

Inhale. Do you still feel tension?

Exhale. Relax it.

Repeat the body scan as many times as you need, starting over when your mind wanders, until you drift into sleep.

SLEEP QUALITY QUIZ

Use this quiz to identify your sleep quality and make adjustments to your routines accordingly. These questions are based on the Sleep Quality Scale, an evaluation developed in Korea to identify the quality of your sleep. Your response to each question is based on how frequently you identify with the phrase.

Never/Rarely (0)

I struggle to fall asleep.

I’m a light sleeper.

I wake up feeling sleepy/groggy.

It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning.

When I wake up, I wish I could get more sleep.

Poor sleep leaves me tired during the day.

Poor sleep makes me less interested in life/socializing.

Poor sleep makes me sloppy at work.

Poor sleep makes me forgetful.

Sleepiness interferes with my daily life.

TOTAL

Add up your numbers.

0-10: You have very few or no sleep issues — keep doing what you’re doing.

11-24: Mild sleep problems — right on track for the chaos of your 20s. Use the suggested morning and night routines to improve your sleep quality.

25-30: Could indicate serious sleep problems — get checked out by a professional, not a TikTok witch.

Now that you know what to do, ditch your phone and get some beauty sleep tonight. Fingers crossed, tomorrow you’ll feel like a million bucks. Or at least 20.

SPRING CLEANING FOR THE SOUL

Spring has sprung, and it’s time to clean up our act. But spring cleaning should be more than donating old clothes — emotional baggage can be just as heavy as those old snow shoes. It’s time we give our minds and bodies some TLC too.

Follow this spring cleaning checklist.

Power in the pause

Set a time of day to stop working.

Take a short brain-break for every hour of work. Meditate for at least 15 minutes once a day. Write a journal entry.

Does it spark joy?

Get rid of old contacts. Have a serious talk with any poor relationships. Reach out to an old friend.

Step away from the phone

Set a time limit on overused apps.

Engage in non-screen activities.

Creative: draw, take a pottery class, make a collage

Productive: do the dishes, make your bed, run errands

Outdoors: hike, have a picnic, bike ride, take nature pictures

POWER IN THE PAUSE

In a culture that moves at the speed of sound, it’s shocking we even remember to breathe.

“Our calendar is usually filled with appointments with other people to get things done … instead of taking care of our hearts, and our minds, and our spirits,” says Beth Montpas, a life coach based in Des Moines, Iowa.

WORDS STELLA PIHLSTROM DESIGN JORDAN WYER

It can be tempting to write just one more email. But taking a brain break benefits your mental and physical health far more.

“[There’s] power in the pause, it’s like a slow down to speed up,” Montpas says.

She suggests meditation. Use it as a spiritual practice, or simply a space of quiet to give your brain a vacation. Cut 15 minutes from your schedule to forget about life’s obligations.

Find a preferred meditation routine — try apps like Calm or Headspace — and clear out the noise in your head just like you clean out the front hall closet.

Another common practice is journaling

In the morning, set goals for the day. Don’t just write every task that needs finishing — find something to look forward to as a motivator.

At night, reflect on your day. Don’t get too deep if you don’t want to — imagine you’re gossiping with a friend.

DOES IT SPARK JOY?

Decluttering expert Marie Kondo’s famous question, “Does it spark joy?” isn’t just for old T-shirts. You can also ask this about your social life: “do you need to hold onto this, or is it time to let it go?”

Start by looking through your contacts list. You don’t need the number of that guy you worked on an English project with in 11th grade or that girl you had a talking stage with three years ago.

Giving your social life a proper spring cleaning is bigger than that, though. As you enter new seasons of life, it’s important to consider whether your closer relationships “spark joy.” This includes friends, romances, and family.

Declutter your mind.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, healthy relationships have empathy, commitment, respect for boundaries, and shared values.

Relationships are a two-way street. Question whether this person respects you, but also if you respect them.

The best place to start is with healthy conversation. Then you can decide if the relationship is worth holding onto or if it should go in the donate bin.

STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE

You’ve assessed your personal relationships and put distance between you and your negative influences. But what about that metal brick in your pocket?

Set time limits on apps that suck up too much time. If you know an app doesn’t do you any good — like this humble author’s addiction to Subway Surfers — trash it with the rest of your junk. Or at least give it a break to see what happens.

Fight the urge to mindlessly scroll when there’s someone you love right next to you. The best way to counteract screen dependency is to fight pixels with people.

“Staying connected to people, it’s never been easier, and it’s never been more elusive,” Montpas says.

You don’t even have to be talking. Montpas says it’s fine to ask: “is this a connection time, or is this an ignoring each other in the same room [time]?”

It doesn’t matter if you and your loved one are crocheting in silence, or moshing side by side at a concert. The key is to put down the screens and enjoy life with the 3D people

exeRCIse foR

eVeRY HoUR

WORDS AMANDA FAVAZZA

DESIGN JORDAN WYER

Everyone’s schedule is different, so that 11:30 a.m. Pilates class won’t work for everyone. But you should prioritize some movement during your day.

As preached by every gym teacher and yoga enthusiast: physical movement is beneficial for your physical and mental health. So get out of bed, grab a coffee or a granola bar — and pump some iron.

“The most important thing with exercise is finding movement that you enjoy,” says Maddie Smith, an instructor at Power Life Yoga Barre Fitness in Des Moines, Iowa.

Here’s your guide to get moving around the clock.

Workouts for morning, noon, and night

Find what works for you and follow the path that feels right on your fitness journey.

A.m. - CARDIo

When the only time in your busy schedule is before sunrise, Smith recommends fasted cardio. Your appetite isn’t at its peak at 5 a.m., so walking or running without a heavy meal helps you burn more calories. That said, don’t exercise on an empty stomach — eat a quick protein bar or banana before your workout.

High intensity workouts like sculpt classes and weight lifting are beneficial in the morning — they get you up and motivated without needing to pound that energy drink.

“[Do] more high intensity or weight training in the morning as opposed to at night, just because of the dopamine hit you typically get after it,” Smith says. “You’re wired and wide awake.”

There are fun HIIT, or high-intensity interval training, workout classes to follow on YouTube and weight lifting routines to follow on TikTok, so you can jump straight into feeling invincible without the commute.

“It’s the neurotransmitters in your brain,” Smith says. “[It’s] the same effect that you would get from doing something that also brings you immediate joy and satisfaction.”

After your sweat session you can say “good morning” and actually mean it.

mIDDAy - WALKInG AnD stRetCHInG

Not everybody can strike a scorpion pose or do a headstand. And not everyone has joints made for running. Smith recommends the often-overlooked workout of walking as an accessible alternative for daily movement.

If you’re trying to get more steps in, take a quick 10-minute walk after a meal, or park an extra block away from work or the grocery store.

“If walking isn’t accessible for someone, there’s stretching,” Smith says. “There’s so many benefits [to] sitting down and stretching to wake up your muscles and send fluid to the different joints.”

No matter your schedule or location, walking and stretching get your blood flowing. Have an office job or corporate internship? Do desk stretches while waiting for that report to load.

stRetCH, sWeAT, AnD tRY AGAIn

If you’ve never stepped foot in a gym, a yoga studio, or even a pair of leggings, workouts seem daunting. But even if you’re a seasoned athlete, trying something new never hurts.

Find what works for you and follow the path that feels right on your fitness journey.

P.m. - YoGA

After a long day of work, school, or rotting in bed, more movement can seem daunting. Smith reminds us that exercise isn’t defined by the amount you sweat.

“I feel like a lot of people, when they think about exercise … think about calorie burn or sweating or high intensity,” Smith says. “But a lot of it can also be mental.”

Restorative Yin Yoga is a great mental exercise that involves slow movements to unwind.

“Yoga at night is awesome because you calm down your nervous system [and] decompress from the day,” Smith says. “Your heart rate isn’t super high and you still feel that energy after class.”

That “energy” Smith is referring to is relaxation rather than a dopamine hit.

“You’re still going to get benefits out of yoga [by] calming your mind, decompressing, and stretching,” Smith says.

Check your local yoga studios for discounts and free trial classes. Find relaxing music and explore YouTube for a guided yoga flow.

“There [are] so many different genres of exercise out there, that’s why it’s so important for trial and error,” Smith says.

“[See] what you do like … because if you don’t love it, then you’re not going to be consistent with it.”

THE ART OF THE APPETIZER

Small plates that set the tone for your next cocktail party

WORDS LAINEY ARROL | PHOTO JAYDEN JAMES | DESIGN EVE KELLY

SPINACH & ARTICHOKE WONTONS

Total time: 30 minutes

Serves: 12

24 wonton wrappers

1 cup fresh spinach, chopped

½ cup canned artichoke hearts, finely chopped

¼ cup mayonnaise

¼ cup sour cream

½ cup grated Parmesan cheese

½ cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1 clove garlic, minced

½ tsp. salt

¼ tsp. black pepper

Cooking spray

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly coat a 12-cup muffin tin with cooking spray.

2. Press one wonton wrapper into each muffin cup, gently forming a cup shape. Lightly spray wonton with cooking spray. Bake 5 minutes, or until lightly golden. Let cool for 5 to 10 minutes.

3. In a large bowl, stir together spinach, artichoke hearts, mayonnaise, sour cream, Parmesan, mozzarella, garlic, salt, and pepper until well combined.

4. Spoon spinach-artichoke mixture evenly into cooled wonton cups. Return to oven for additional 8 to 10 minutes.

5. Serve warm.

CHEESECAKE MINIS

Total time: 30 minutes

Serves: 12

10 graham crackers, crushed

4 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

4 cups cream cheese, softened

2 cups heavy cream

1 Tbsp. vanilla extract

1 cup sugar

Choice of berries, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, or graham crackers for garnish Cooking spray

1. In a small bowl, melt butter.

2. In a medium bowl, mix crushed graham crackers with melted butter until well combined.

3. Spray muffin tin with cooking spray. Divide crumb mixture into each tin cup, pressing firmly over bases.

4. In a large bowl, whisk together softened cream cheese, heavy cream, vanilla extract, and sugar until smooth and creamy.

5. Spoon the cheesecake mixture over the graham cracker crusts, smoothing the tops. Place in freezer for 10 to 20 minutes, or until set.

6. Choose your topping before serving: fresh berries with a dollop of whipped cream, a drizzle of hot fudge, or additional graham cracker crumbs.

LOADED POTATO BITES

Total time: 1 hour

Serves: 5

1 lb. baby potatoes

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder

1 tsp. dried oregano

1 tsp. paprika

Salt and black pepper, to taste

½ cup shredded cheddar cheese

12 slices bacon

¼ cup chopped fresh chives

1 cup sour cream

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Rinse and scrub potatoes well. Slice into halves.

3. In a large bowl, toss potatoes with olive oil, garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, paprika, salt, and pepper. Arrange in a single layer on one prepared baking sheet. Bake 45 minutes, or until tender.

4. Sprinkle cheddar cheese over each potato slice. Return to the oven for additional 3 minutes.

5. Arrange bacon on the second baking sheet. Bake 10 minutes, or until crispy. Transfer to cutting board, then chop into bite-sized pieces.

6. Chop chives into topping sized pieces.

7. Top each potato round with chopped bacon and chopped chives.

8. Arrange on serving platter with a bowl of sour cream for dipping.

MINI CHEESEBURGER SLIDERS

Total time: 25 minutes

Serves: 6

12 mini slider buns

½ Tbsp. olive oil

½ cup diced onion

1 lb. ground beef

½ tsp. salt

¼ tsp. black pepper

½ tsp. garlic powder

¼ cup mayonnaise

2 Tbsp. ketchup

1 Tbsp. mustard

6 slices cheddar cheese, halved

2 Tbsp. melted butter

Sesame seeds, sliced tomato, lettuce, and pickles (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil.

2. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, heat olive oil. Add diced onion and cook 2 minutes, or until softened.

3. Add ground beef, breaking it up with a spatula. Season with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Cook 5 minutes, or until beef is browned and no longer pink.

4. In a small bowl, mix mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard.

5. Place bun bottoms on prepared baking sheet and add mayonnaise spread, cooked beef, and cheese slices. Add bun tops and brush with melted butter. Top with sesame seeds, if desired.

6. Cover the baking sheet with foil and bake 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted. Remove foil and bake an additional 3 to 5 minutes, or until buns are golden.

7. Add tomato slices, lettuce, and pickles, if desired.

8. Serve warm.

CHILLED COCKTAILS

Cool down with these refreshing, icy drinks.

WORDS LAINEY ARROL | PHOTO JAYDEN JAMES | DESIGN EVE KELLY

COCKTAILS

SANGRIA SLUSHIE

Total time: 10 minutes

Serves: 4

1 cup frozen blueberries

1 bottle dry, red wine

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

½ cup orange juice

⅔ cup sugar

⅔ cup water

1 cup ice

1. In a large blender, combine blueberries, wine, lemon juice, orange juice, sugar, water, and ice. Blend on high until smooth and thick.

2. Pour into four chilled margarita glasses.

3. Garnish with blueberries on cocktail picks.

CITRUS CHILL MARGARITA

Total time: 10 minutes

Serves: 4

2 cans of frozen limeade

8 oz. Tequila

6 oz. triple sec

2 cups lemonade

2 cups ice

Lime wedges

Kosher Salt

1. In a blender, frozen limeade, Tequila, triple sec, lemonade, and ice. Blend on high until smooth.

2. Run a lime wedge around the rim of four chilled margarita glasses. Spread salt on a small plate. Dip rims of glasses in salt to coat.

3. Pour into prepared glasses.

4. Garnish with additional lime wedges.

FROZEN STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRI

Total time: 5 minutes

Serves: 3

6 oz. light rum

3 oz. fresh lime juice

2 cups frozen strawberries

6 Tbsp. simple syrup

3 cups ice

Fresh strawberries, for garnish

1. In a blender, combine rum, lime juice, frozen strawberries, and simple syrup. Blend on high until smooth.

2. Add ice and blend again until thick and slushy.

3. Pour into three chilled margarita glasses.

4. Garnish with strawberry slice.

FROSTED APEROL TWIST

Total time: 5 minutes

Serves: 3

6 oz. Aperol

6 oz. orange juice

6 oz. Prosecco

3 cups ice Orange slices, for garnish

1. In a blender, combine Aperol, orange juice, Prosecco, and ice. Blend on high until smooth and thick.

2. Pour into three chilled margarita glasses.

3. Garnish with fresh orange slice.

Cocktail Couture

Mixing fancy with fun — cocktail attire that brightens up the nightlife.

WORDS AMANDA FAVAZZA

PHOTO JAYDEN JAMES

DESIGN EVE KELLY

Classic with a Twist

Cocktail attire is a blend of closet classics — black skirts and simple white shirts — with a dash of glitter and some extra oomph. Mix a statement top with your favorite pair of trousers for an elevated look. The only thing you’re missing is an Espresso Martini.

Keep it simple and sleek with a monochrome palette — blacks, browns, and creams are ideal. Kitten heels, dress shoes, or tennis shoes can add a pop of pattern and color.

Less is more — let the sparkle speak for itself. Pair one bold piece with a staple piece for an effortlessly cool look — a leather jacket over a slip dress, or a satin button up with jeans.

Luxury and Layers

Your looks don’t have to be designer to look like you picked them off the runway. Simple pieces can feel like Prada if you style them correctly.

The right fabrics go a long way. Mix satin, denim, leather, or suede with your usual cotton for elegant comfort.

Layering tops and jackets adds dimension to your look and creates bold silhouettes, perfect for your new career as an off-duty model.

Oversized blazers, leather jackets, and corduroy create that casually-cool vibe.

There can never be too much glitter — find ways to add a sparkle whether it’s shiny straps, silver baubles at the end of a sleeve, or a bold belt.

Accessories on the Rocks

Make your next cocktail outfit feel timeless by pairing it with jewelry from the past. Bangles with color or textured necklaces with beads contrast a simple outfit, especially neutrals.

Don’t be afraid to mix metals, it makes your fit more interesting and shows that you’re daring.

Structured clutches or satchels with heavy hardware are practical but sleek and they keep the glimmer alive. Even more practical are timepieces with unique faces and details that speak to your personality and glow.

RECLAIM THE I

Social media is dividing us and quitting isn’t an option. What happens now?

WORDS ARTEMIS GOIN | DESIGN MARIA HERNANDEZ

THE INTERNET IS BROKEN

he internet is a double-edged sword — we created it for good, but it has made us worse. While this opportunity to connect allows positive change, it also spreads hatred. And as the rich buy out social platforms and monopolize a new form of media, it just gets worse.

But it wasn’t always like this.

THE GOOD OL’ DAYS

Early on, the internet was mostly used for simple communication — now it’s a black hole that feeds off of continued marginalization, criticism, and hate.

“[While] social media doesn’t make us racist, homophobic, or sexist, it certainly exacerbates those social problems,” says Raven Llyod, assistant professor of African and African American studies and film and media studies at the University of Washington.

When you open social media, no matter the platform, it’s impossible to escape misinformation and hatred.

In an ideal world, these detrimental behaviors could be removed from social platforms while keeping the benefits, but social media has written a new set of rules that makes criticism the name of the game.

“Algorithms feed extremism. The more you click on content, the longer you stay on that site,” Lloyd says. “The more extreme people are, the more profitable they are to social network sites.”

The anonymity of the internet empowers the user — you’ll never meet the person on the other side of the screen. Offensive comments run rampant because it’s so easy to buy the lie that it doesn’t hurt anyone.

n“People don’t realize [that] everything on the internet leaves a footprint in a physical perspective,” says Asher Wilder, a cybersecurity freelancer at HackerOne in Rochester, Minnesota. “Also, it leaves a footprint on other people.”

So why not ban users who harass others? Because the internet isn’t about positive communication anymore. It’s all about the money.

FOLLOW THE MONEY

You probably don’t read community guidelines, clicking “accept and continue” without thinking. Though these often include sections to prevent hate speech, some regulations are dissipating as harmful content brings in the dough.

Just recently, Meta updated its hate speech regulations, allowing users to spread harmful messages about LGBTQ+ users without consequence. Previous rules didn’t stop harassment but now, even those consequences are gone, leaving marginalized groups further downcast by society.

While blatant slurs are still prohibited by the platform, they creep up through self-censored comments with asterisks and exclamation marks that escape platform flagging.

TikTok regulations allow “sensitive comments” to be posted and viewed. All it takes is a click to see them — and who doesn’t love an air of mystery?

These videos and comments get more traction for the same reason people watch car crashes — morbid curiosity.

“We’ve been desensitized online so we’ll see dead bodies, we’ll see the pain, and we might turn a blind eye,” Lloyd says.

What’s more concerning than hidden comments is the fact that the owners of these platforms are rising to government figures with access to our data. They know what we like, they know who we follow, and they might even know our Social Security number.

Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, is now a large player in Trump’s circle. He bought X, formerly Twittter, in 2022, loosening guidelines under the guise of free speech after President Donald Trump was banned. But this “loosening” has resulted in a more toxic, hate-filled platform.

“I deleted Twitter, [I] used to be literally addicted but it’s too evil now,” says Daisy Vanderwood, a former avid Twitter user and student at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.

Musk reinstated President Donald Trump’s account, which had been banned after the Jan. 6 insurrection due to the previous owners believing his Tweets posed the “risk of inciting further violence.” But these regulations have gone out the window, setting a precedent that if the president can spread hate online, anyone can.

And what about TikTok — the platform we scrambled to in 2020 as a means to connect when we were locked in our homes? Or the blackout just a few short months ago? It was banned over concerns about government security, but the ban is currently on pause as the platform waits to be bought by another American billionaire.

And since hate is where the money is, TikTok will surely become another platform built on tearing other users down — if it hasn’t already.

It reduces human interaction to a profit-driven machine.

“Conflict is what gets the views, what gets the clicks … but especially on social media — something that capitalizes so much more on the individual’s click,” Wilder says.

WHY NOT QUIT?

If the internet is so terrible, it might seem like it’s time to step away. But today, everything happens on the internet — shopping, reading, and even school — so it’s not that easy to just give up.

“The internet [is] becoming a more central part of education and just people’s lives in general,” says Iowa state Rep. Elinor Levin.

Incorporating personal rules for social media might be the best option.

“Prioritizing your mental health and prioritizing what you need from your social networks may be more important … than changing someone’s mind,” Lloyd says.

Healthy tech habits are important. But at this point, the internet is inescapable, for better or worse. It’s an integral part of our lives we can’t just turn off. So proceed with caution.

“[People] have to make decisions about ... how they’re going to behave online,” Levin says.

DIGITAL SAFE HAVENS

Platforms like Discord and Bluesky have maintained a fairly healthy atmosphere and can be a blueprint for the future of online communication. With their old-school style chat rooms, they mirror the original era of the internet, allowing people to communicate in their own bubbles without fighting the noise of the mainstream.

These spaces aren’t without cons, though. As they strive for a more isolated community, they lack the wide reach other social media platforms have. But they generally have a more welcoming atmosphere.

“There are distinct facets of the internet that absolutely help marginalized groups,” Lloyd says. “One would be visibility … pick any marginalized or interesting identity [and] all of a sudden the internet opens up possibilities.”

The internet’s origin is something we should get back to. We just want to connect with people who consume the same content as we do.

When these platforms become less about connection and more about making money, it sets a new precedent for why people log on in the first place.

The solution is in the hands of those who log onto the apps — us. Let’s strive for a place where there is a level of control over our interactions with others. A place that feeds healthy communication with people around the world.

tHe GAme

DATING

Take a timeout from swiping.

WORDS CAROLINE SIEBELS-LINDQUIST

DESIGN JORDAN WYER

Dream with me here, folks.

You’re on a date with someone wonderful that you’ve been texting on Bumble for a few days now. You kiss goodnight. Your heart melts. You’re already planning what city you’ll move to when you’re married.

But the days pass and you haven’t heard anything. You realize that once again, you’ve been unceremoniously ghosted.

Honestly, you can’t be too upset — you ghosted somebody just last week for humming too much, ordering chamomile tea at a bar, and mentioning their Catholicism. Three icks, three strikes — they’re out.

You head back to the swiping board and the vicious cycle starts again. It’s a modern Gen Z dating story.

If you’re scared of dying single, never fear — I have a solution for you. Bench yourself from the dating game to healthify your dating habits. But don’t get too comfortable, because you’ll be back out on the field in no time.

A DATING GIRL’S PERSPECTIVE

Halle Gilchrist, a student and veteran player of the dating game, had her first dating experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic. Most occurred on dating apps geared towards underage users. But a majority of people on the apps weren’t looking for a romantic connection and turned out to be over 18.

“Honestly looking back, [I’m] like, ‘Oh, God, why? Why did I do that?’” Gilchrist says. “It was just awful.”

Dating apps were counterproductive for Gilchrist in her attempts at romance.

“The way technology was the center, and still is … has made it a lot harder to get a genuine connection,” Gilchrist says.

FIND YOUR PERSON IN PERSON

Gen Z is known for commitment issues and hookup culture. But Ben Beesen, a therapist at the Counseling Center of Iowa City, says we don’t have more or fewer issues than other generations. We’re just more open about our avoidant attachments.

“[You either decide] that this is going to be a hookup and not something more, [or that], ‘I’m not going to make any moves at all until I’m 100% sure that this person is head over heels,’” Beesen says.

The constant dating app carousel doesn’t help. You could swipe left on your soulmate just because their first picture has bad lighting.

“When people are presented with an app that essentially says ‘I have endless options for you,” they don’t look at options that under other circumstances, they would be totally interested in,” Beesen says.

Dating apps have taken away the ambiguity of meet-cutes because no one looks up from swiping long enough to spill coffee on their grade-school crush.

“Clubs that are focused around an activity you enjoy can be really helpful and [sustain] a relationship long-term,” Beesen says. “It can be like a safe ground point for the relationship to begin.”

Gilchrist agrees with Beeson that this is the way to go. She met her current boyfriend on her dorm floor.

Beesen’s advice? You’re always going to learn more about someone in person than trying to analyze cryptic text messages.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE

Taking time to work on your own dating habits can mean going to therapy. It might look like a walk in the woods or getting back into ultimate frisbee. That’s for you to decide.

Now that you’ve taken a season off to better yourself, it’s time to get back on the field. You deserve to confidently re-enter the dating game, now in search of life-affirming love that aligns with your values and priorities. Don’t stick it out on the apps for a long-track of nothingness.

Your first game back might feel high-stakes. But while you’re getting ready for your first date with that babe from chess club, remember to breathe and know that the nerves are natural.

“You know, there’s a high chance that both of you are feeling nervous,” Beesen says. “Taking that first sip of water and just being like, ‘Hey, I’m actually really pretty nervous right now,’ — you’ll notice your own anxiety level drop.”

Your date wants to see you at your most confident and healthy, so keep your head up and fake it until you make it. From there you can get into the real meat of the matter: are you guys connecting or not?

GO GET ’EM, TIGER

Is dating a horror? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth the sweaty palms and awkward coffee dates. By focusing on your life goals, and engaging in activities that matter to you, you might suddenly find someone by your side. Who knows, you might even make it to second base.

There will always be bad dates, but that’s just the name of the dating game. Thankfully, your bad date stories become your cocktail party anecdotes and the lore you share with your future kids.

Gilchrist gets the last word though.

“This is my warning to the world, never date a firefighter. Just don’t do it.”

D es mo I nes C o FF ee CRAWL

WORDS LIZ ROSA DESIGN TYLER STRACHAN

Explore Des Moines’ best brew spots

Whether you’re tired of the weekend bar scene or just in search of a good time, coffee crawls are a great way to get the social experience you crave.

If you’re unsure where to begin, Coffee Hop sells passes to redeem a latte at 19 local cafés in Des Moines, Iowa.

“I don’t know if people realize how much there is to offer with local coffee in Des Moines,” says Ryan Russell, Coffee Hop co-founder. “Any neighborhood you go [to], you’ll find something cool or exciting.”

So grab your friends and ready your gut — it’s time to get caffeinated.

HAPPY HOME COFFEE

Kick-start your crawl with a caramel latte at a spot tucked away on the third floor of the Greater Des Moines Partnership building. While it may seem like a basic choice, it’s a good starter drink before you try more unique options. It’s also a great test of coffee bean quality – and Happy Home meets expectations. Their espresso has a rich, bold flavor that creates a velvety-smooth latte.

Happy Home Coffee creates a welcoming space you won’t find at a chain.

“I noticed that whenever I wanted to get to know someone or had a question about something, I would always say, ‘Hey, let’s go get some coffee,’” says Carlos Sims, Jr., Happy Home’s founder. “We started roasting because I wanted to create the means for people to connect.”

700 Locust St., Unit #300, Des Moines, IA.

HORIZON LINE COFFEE

Horizon Line Coffee has a plentiful seasonal menu all year round. Sip on the Blackberry Star Anise Latte from their spring menu. It’s a wonderfully earthy and refreshing drink with bold flavors you can count on — all their syrups are made in-house. Horizon Line’s glass-only commitment makes the coffee shop a sustainable choice. When purchasing a to-go order, you get to keep the glass jar it comes in and you’ll receive a discount if you bring it back. It may have the best lighting in Des Moines — the gorgeous, natural light pours across the warehouse-chic cafe, making it a great date spot.

MARS CAFE

1417 Walnut St., Suite B, Des Moines, IA.

ZANZIBAR

Zanzibar on Ingersoll Ave. has all the elements of a classic coffee shop — ambiance, seating, and an ample menu — but no Wi-Fi. If you’re looking for your next homework hangout, this isn’t the place. But Zanzibar is the place to chat with an old friend or a new connection. Unlike the busy street it stands on, it’s cozy and comforting with its stained-glass windows and potted plants. Try a drink you can’t get anywhere else — like the Mocha Mex. Made with Mexican hot chocolate, notes of cinnamon and chili pair with bittersweet chocolate to make a rich and creamy concoction.

2723 Ingersoll Ave., Des Moines, IA.

Mars Cafe is a hot spot for students and professionals. With plenty of seating options and free Wi-Fi, it’s perfect for locking in on your work. It’s also a great spot for gatherings, like one of their open mic nights. Try Mars’ signature latte — the Sputnik. It’s popular for a reason with a blend of almond, honey, and cinnamon flavors that are silky-sweet and perfectly balanced.

2318 University Ave., Des Moines, IA.

SMOKEY ROW

By now, you’ve probably consumed enough coffee to get your leg jumping and eyes bulging — it’s time for a break. Lucky for you, your final stop, Smokey Row, has more than coffee. Order the pomegranate green tea for a fruity flavor that comes in a little ceramic teapot. The tea is soothing — just what you need after a day of drinking coffee and exploring the town.

1910 Cottage Grove Ave., Des Moines, IA.

STOP SCROLLING AND START ORGANIZING

Big change begins with small steps.

WORDS CANDACE CARR | PHOTO JAYDEN JAMES | DESIGN PLUM BRUGENHEMKE

Welcome to 2025, where the United States is experiencing a shift. Equity initiatives are disappearing, federal agencies are shrinking, and the future might seem more uncertain than ever.

It’s not just the existence of political ambiguity. With social media, the separation between the real and digital worlds disappears. Executive order signings aren’t just in the Oval Office — history is being written from your bedroom.

It’s a simple equation: jarring headline, like, shock, comment, outrage, repost — rinse and repeat. Now what? The issues compound, your screen time skyrockets, and you feel hopeless.

Luckily, the answer to optimism is much closer than you think — it’s the people sitting to your left and right.

STARTING ORGANIZING

Community organizing is a tool for addressing community needs, maintaining optimism, and reducing isolation during crises. It’s how the Black Panthers ensured federal funding for school breakfasts, and how COVID-19 tests became increasingly common in our neighborhoods.

Five years ago, Zakariyah Hill founded The Supply Hive. The nonprofit is a mutual aid network in Des Moines, Iowa, cultivated from what Hill describes as “boredom, passion, and the world being on fire.” It all began with an Instagram invite.

“I didn’t feel like I had a space or a place in the community then,” Hill says. “I wasn’t the person on the front lines. I’m not the one to be screaming from the rooftops. I’m not a poet. I’m not an organizer, but I am organized and I do have influence.”

Hill invited friends and strangers to her mother’s backyard via Instagram to listen to music and pack 500 brown bag lunches for local protesters in the summer of 2020. Protest after protest and week after week, new people kept showing up.

Community action isn’t reserved for extroverted leaders. It’s about identifying a need with the skills you already have. The more specific the need, the more creative you can be in your organizing efforts. Whether it’s putting free emergency contraceptives in tattoo shops or sharing social media graphics offering support for neighbors in need, creativity plays a role.

“I’m just trying to get people what they need and have fun while doing it,” Hill says. “That’s been the guiding light for almost five years now.”

CONNECT — IRL THIS TIME

Just as social media can be a tool for doomists, it can be an even greater tool to connect and organize.

First, gather some friends and make a list of the issues meaningful to you. Reproductive rights, religious freedom, transportation, education, healthcare, voting — the list goes on. If you have a passion for it, write it down.

Next, research local groups mobilizing around one or two of those issues. Organizing spaces can be churches, coffee shop sandwich boards, Facebook groups, and even Google Drive folders. Once you find a group and locate an upcoming event, follow

the page and send that DM. Samm Yu, an Iowa City artist, photographer, and organizer, used photography as a means to connect with the community and document protests.

“Think about the talents you already have and how you can leverage those,” Yu says. “See what you can bring with what you already know.”

The last step is to show up. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel or solve the issue in one day. But one thing is for sure: scrolling away the issues plaguing your community won’t make them disappear, they’ll only isolate you from a future worth fighting for.

“[If] more people start acting and living for other people … then how much better can the world be?” Hill says. “How much better can their communities and their cities and states be if people got out of their heads and bubbles, into others, and showed more compassion?”

OUTSMART AI THE WORKFORCE

How AI is shaping the job search

AI is taking over almost every aspect of our lives — it can do our homework, make our grocery lists, and now it’s reviewing our job applications. Computers are spending more time looking at resumes than some recruiters do.

Here’s how to score a job and beat the AI system.

“AI is screening people out before they’ve ever had a chance to be seen,” says Marlo Lyons, a career coach based in Scottsdale, Arizona.

BE HUMAN

The goal of job applications in this day and age is to be what AI can’t be — human.

The hiring and interview process has always been competitive, and now you have to stand out against a

AI scanners take the human touch out of the hiring process, reducing you to statistics.

“[It’s] based on finding the match between the right candidate skills, … knowledge, and what’s needed to do the job successfully,” says Dr. Jay Steffensmeier, an industrialorganizational psychologist based in Seattle, Washington.

“The number one thing you need [is] to build authentic relationships and [know] how to leverage [them],” Lyons says. “That’s how you’re going to get jobs.”

It can be intimidating when job applications require two to three years of experience. Professional connections can open those doors faster — it’s who you know, not what you know — but you still need the skills for the position.

“You absolutely need a referral into companies — you have to leverage the people you know,” Lyons says. “That’s not nepotism — that’s called leveraging your network.”

Soft skills account for nine of the 10 most important future job skills, according to The World Economic Forum. Work on your communication, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence skills to set yourself apart from the robots.

“AI doesn’t have empathy,” Lyons says. “AI will generate ideas, but humans are still going to drive the innovation and storytelling.”

OPTIMIZE YOUR RESUME

Staying ahead of the curve can be hard when it feels like AI just got here. We’re not stranded — there are quite a few things you can do to get ahead of the applicant pool and advancing technology.

“Recruiters have always had a thing called an Applicant Tracking System or an ATS,” Lyons says.

ATS systems extract information from your application to match your skill sets to the job you’re applying for. Proper formatting of your resume makes you stand out within these algorithms.

Graphics and visual elements can trip up an AI scanner, landing you at a lower-matched spot on the list of applicants.

These bots are trained to find keywords the employer wants to see on your resume.

“AI [favors] resumes that match the job description,” Lyons says.

But don’t be afraid to utilize these bots. Upload your resume and cover letter to an AI platform to identify and fix weaknesses.

Just because you’re optimizing your resume for AI doesn’t mean you should take out every human aspect. If you make it past the computers, eventually your resume will be in the hands of a human.

“The resume itself should be optimized to portray you in the best light … and how you match either a specific job or the industry,” Steffensmeir says.

IMPACT

AI is constantly changing, so you need to stay ahead of the curve. Read up on the newest updates, listen to podcasts, or sign up for newsletters to stay up-todate on new tech.

“It’s absolutely critical that everybody understands how AI will impact your job — because it will, and it’s going to in the future as well,” Lyons says.

Your job may not be going away, but the workforce is adapting. Don’t fear what doesn’t need to be feared. Instead, remember that the hiring managers are people and sometimes the personality hire is the office favorite.

TIPS FOR SUCCESS:

1. Network with others in your industry. Create and maintain professional relationships.

2. Work on your soft skills: communication, teamwork, and adaptability.

3. Export your resume as a DOC or PDF file so AI scanners can extract information.

4. On your resume, keep visuals to a minimum.

5. Use specific words from job descriptions on your resume and cover letter.

6. Upload your cover letter and resume to an AI engine to identify areas for improvement.

7. Stay up-to-date on AI innovations and test out new tools.

TRIED DANCING

SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO I

Feeling sexy and humbled at the same time

WORDS JINESSA LEWIS

PHOTO SARAH FEY

DESIGN SARAH FEY

During your nightly doomscroll, you’ve probably seen those videos of unconventional workouts, from mini trampolines to Moon Boots. Let’s go back to one of the originals — pole dancing. I’m taking one for the team and attending the Tricks and Conditioning class at Love Life Studios in Des Moines, Iowa. It’s time to stop scrolling and get on the pole.

ON THE POLE

Tucked inside a nearly abandoned mall, the studio feels like a sanctuary. Dim lighting, deep purple LED signs, and cozy furniture give it an alluring energy, despite the nerves I feel going in.

Before starting the class with stretches, the instructor turns on a small, colorful lamp and a funky retro playlist. The instructor, who goes by Sam, wasn’t kidding about the conditioning. We do a crazy lower back exercise — lying on our stomachs, lifting our arms and legs – holding it for what felt like an hour. My back will surely hurt for days.

Next, we tackle tricks like the princess sit — a regal side-sit with one leg hooked; around-the-world — a sweeping spin that lives up to its name; and the chair — basically sitting, but in the air. Struggling through the techniques is frustrating, but I remind myself of Sam’s encouragement.

“No one’s expecting you to get it the first time — I certainly didn’t,” she says. “The main thing is just sticking with it.”

So I shake it off and get back on the pole.

THE PAIN

The next hurdle? Skin grip. Even slightly clammy hands make it nearly impossible to stay up, and when I do, the pain feels like grinding sandpaper on my skin. Sam says this is every beginner’s biggest struggle — your body isn’t used to rubbing skin against metal.

At one point, it hurts so much I have to sit down and reconsider my life choices. But I grab a towel, apply some grip aid, and keep pushing through.

Not only do I have next-level soreness, but gnarly bruises cover my body. They call them pole kisses — cute, right?

If you try a class, stock up on Tiger Balm to ease the muscle pain. For extra muscle relaxation, Sam recommends a hot Epsom salt bath.

THE BEAUTY

Pole dancing builds strength, flexibility, and stamina, but its biggest impact is mental. A BMC Psychology study shows it boosts confidence and body image, with yoga-like warmups and conditioning similar to Pilates.

Pain aside, nailing a move makes me feel unstoppable. The energy in classes is supportive — everyone cheers without even knowing each other’s names.

“[Classes] create that sense of selfaccomplishment,” Sam says. “It’s really fun to show off to other people — to take videos, and be like, ‘Look at this trick I could do.’”

THE STIGMA

But you can’t talk about pole dancing without discussing the stigma around it — the Love Life studio even has curtains to block out the judgment. The instructors prefer to use first names or pseudonyms — like my instructor Sam — as the stigma may cause repercussions for their day jobs.

“There are misconceptions that we come in here and we’re all naked or that we’re strippers in training,” Sam says. “[But] we have a lot of respect for our exotic community.”

The reality is far more diverse — people come to the pole for all kinds of reasons. Maybe you’re looking for a new way to work out, like me, or just looking for a confidence boost.

SHOULD YOU TAKE A CLASS?

Most studios offer beginnerfriendly options in a judgment-free environment, though it varies by studio. There’s a growing movement from the International Pole Industry Association to make this workout inclusive for all bodies and abilities.

I’ll admit — I’m a trained dancer but I still struggle on the pole. Keep in mind, I did a conditioning version of the class. If you aren’t very athletic, this may not be for you.

For beginners seeking a new workout, I recommend the Pole Virgins class to learn the basics and take it slow. Whether you try the pole or not, I hope you’ve gained a new respect for it — I know I have.

And with that, I’m off to treat my pole kisses.

BRAVE SPACES SAFE SPACES

What are they and how do they shape our conversations?

WORDS GUNNER ONKST

DESIGN AVA LEIGH

ould you ask a stranger about recent reproductive regulations without an ounce of anxiety? Probably not. What about your best friend? Probably yes.

Social media and recent politics are constantly promoting division. Now more than ever, we should know when to stand up and when to protect ourselves.

It’s important to know when and where to have trickier conversations. A Midwestern rule of thumb: don’t talk politics in your local movie theater or BBQ restaurant. Time and place matter.

These scenarios are known as brave spaces and safe spaces. But what’s the difference?

SAFE SPACES

The conversations you have when you’re with a close friend are safe spaces — no filter, nothing is TMI. You can be your true self and express what you’re thinking without consequence.

The term “safe space” has been around since the mid-20th century. During the pre-Stonewall era, gay bars offered a place for people to express their queer identities without fear of violence. Today, people are still seeking out these spaces during uncertain times.

Victoria Soliz recently moved to Birmingham, Alabama for a new job — starting from scratch. Safe spaces are crucial for them during major life changes.

“[My work] is great with creating safe spaces,” Soliz says. “They have different groups for people to join, so there’s a Latino group that … is a safe space for me.”

These groups allow a space to connect with others in a comforting environment.

BRAVE SPACES

Brave spaces are distinctly different from safe spaces — your comfort isn’t guaranteed. But the goal of these spaces stays the same: normalizing conversations to express your thoughts.

When it’s time to switch from a safe space to a brave space, Bailey Stone, a genderaffirming hairstylist in Des Moines, Iowa, knows how to get there.

Stone is part of I Am Me Iowa, an organization that provides free genderaffirming haircuts for trans and nonbinary clients. Part of the training? Making that chair a very safe space.

“My approach is to listen and seek to understand,” Stone says. “To find that point that I can relate to and build on that, instead of shutting them down or … telling them that they’re wrong.”

But sometimes, challenging your thinking can help break through new boundaries — that’s where brave spaces come in.

“If your views are getting challenged, that’s a good thing,” Soliz says. “That means you’re engaging in this space, which is exactly what it’s for.”

Thank goodness for that friend that reassures you that it was “all your exes fault.” But as much as we love that friend — half of that breakup might’ve been due to your commitment issues.

Text chains, FaceTimes, and morning-after debriefs can lead to an echo chamber where there’s no room to push the boundaries of your thinking.

“Since moving down to the South, I tried to find those safe spaces because I didn’t know anybody here,” Soliz says.

Safe spaces can be found almost anywhere — friends, close family, and even some workplaces. It’s all about finding your people.

THE SIX PILLARS OF A SAFE SPACE COMFORT

This isn’t the space for anxiety — if you’re picking at your fingers or your heart rate starts spiking — it’s probably not a safe space. Find the people you feel comfortable opening up to that rest your nervous system.

WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE

Listen to others without the intent to critique. Allow yourself and others to share thoughts and experiences openly without confrontation.

ENVIRONMENT

Create a safe environment both emotionally and physically. Put down the cellphones and silence notifications. Grab a fuzzy blanket or light a candle as a grounding point.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Be present — offer a shoulder to lean on and let yourself lean on others. Offer advice only when it’s requested and ask your confidants to do the same.

RESPECT BOUNDARIES

Not every topic needs to be covered in conversation — not everyone is ready or willing to be a part of it. Set boundaries with your safe people and notice when others are uncomfortable — adapt the discussion accordingly.

TRUST IN PRIVACY

Safe spaces thrive on trust. Don’t share others’ dirty laundry — what gets shared in the space, stays in the space.

Sometimes you need the voice that’s going to bring you back down to Earth.

While it’s important to find solidarity with like-minded people, brave spaces offer a chance for connection between people who normally struggle to find common ground.

Dr. Brian Arao and Kristi Clemmens, cofounders of Brave Space Leadership, seek to hold productive and healthy dialogue across different groups through their online course and coaching programs.

But they noticed flaws within the safe spaces they created during their diversity workshops.

“We started to see a pattern, in terms of things that were challenging for folks,’” Arao says. “A lot of folks were saying, ‘You said this is going to be a safe space, and it doesn’t feel like a safe space.’”

In one workshop, Arao says people of color felt triggered because they were unpacking experiences of racist trauma. In the same conversation, white people wanted to participate, but didn’t want their answers to cause conflict.

My job is not to keep you comfortable — my job is to challenge your thinking.

-Victoria Stubbs

“When they did say the wrong thing, or have a negative impact on someone, they felt really bad and would say, ‘I don’t feel safe anymore,’” Arao says. “We started asking ourselves, ‘What does that mean? Are we doing something wrong in terms of cultivating safe space?’ Eventually, we said, ‘Maybe it’s the word.’”

The environment didn’t feel safe anymore so “brave” seemed to be a better word.

This encourages people to be brave in conversations rather than simply seeking safety in carefully chosen words — or not speaking at all. A safe space ceases to be safe the moment discomfort takes over.

Maybe you’re catching up with an oldfriend who you thought would be easy to talk to but they use some outdated term that feels a little problematic. Or you join a new organization to practice a new hobby but some members exclude others. How do you switch from safe mode into brave mode?

EMBRACING PUSHBACK

Brave spaces can be needed when a difficult conversation arises, but they can be tricky to manage.

Victoria Stubbs is a former educator at the University of Maryland and founder of Inner Truth and Psychotherapy and Wellness in Baltimore. Her coworkers had come to her frustrated, feeling unproductive in their attempts at conversations about diversity and race in their classrooms. She wasn’t experiencing this, and didn’t understand the difference between her classes and others.

“It was really crystalizing when I heard faculty, in particular faculty of color, who didn’t feel safe delving into some of these issues around race, power, and privilege because there was so much pushback,” Stubbs says.

Despite making your palms sweat and rethinking your opinions, pushback is productive.

“Safety is subjective,” Stubbs says. “My job is not to keep you comfortable — my job is to challenge your thinking.”

Safety has become a euphemism for comfort in these spaces. What’s comfortable for one group may not be for another.

The parameters of each specific brave or safe space must be agreed upon and met by the whole group. Each participant expresses their expectation of safety, advocating for their own boundaries. If you feel your boundary being crossed, the conversation is done.

IMPLEMENTATION

Brave and safe spaces can apply to any setting.

Sometimes the bravest action you can take is recognizing when you’re not ready for a conversation.

“[With] everything going on [in the world], it’s a little hard to have those [brave] spaces, because people resort to below the belt stuff,” Soliz says. “You’re being mean to each other without having productive conversations — it’s not good for your mental health.”

These situations aren’t meant to be mind games — it’s just about reading the room. No matter which space you designate for a conversation, the interactions will be meaningful — they’ll just have a different purpose.

THE SIX PILLARS OF A BRAVE SPACE

VULNERABILITY

Be vulnerable and open to emotional exposure. This creates deeper meaning with yourself and those you share conversations with. Ask questions, share your own story, and get real.

PERSPECTIVE TAKING

We all have our own lived experiences that create biases. Listening to others while recognizing your own perspective creates trust. Listen to understand rather than listening to respond. LEANING INTO FEAR

Don’t let fear stop you from taking risks, and opening yourself up to a learning opportunity. Let fear propel you into deeper conversations.

CRITICAL THINKING

Ask and receive questions to understand others’ perspectives. Let critique expand your thinking — it’s not a personal attack.

EXAMINE INTENTIONS

Check your boundaries by understanding your intentions when you share. By checking yourself, you’re taking accountability, and going into the conversation with good intentions.

MINDFULNESS

When engaging in difficult dialogue, you may get anxious and start to focus on internal conflict, not the discussion. Slow down, pause, and refocus on the conversation.

LIF e D oesn ’ t en D

n Y o UR 20s

The best is yet to come.

WORDS DASHAE ENGLER DESIGN TYLER STRACHAN

o properly say goodbye to my 20s, I took a trip down memory lane. I went through all my old notebooks — cringing, crying, and laughing at my writing.

What really hit me was something I wrote back when I was 23: “the idea that I can have a fulfilled life seems unlikely.”

But I wasn’t unfulfilled — I just felt rushed. Aging felt like a countdown — like if something didn’t happen in my 20s, it never would. If I’m being honest, when looking at the goals I made for myself, I don’t know who some of those were for. Maybe my parents, friends, society — but certainly not for me.

I know I’m not alone in that feeling, so I talked to two 30-somethings who are reshaping their own ideas of success. They’re not the blueprint for hacking your 20s or 30s, but I hope their stories constructively challenge you — they sure did challenge me.

BE INTENTIONAL

Cultivating a life path takes intentional time and effort. Billy Weathers, founder of The B. Wells Foundation — an advocacy group for young creators in Des Moines, Iowa — wasn’t afraid of getting older.

In his 20s, Weathers’ focus was grinding and creating success for himself — something he’s still doing in his 30s. His story reminds us that our 20s are about setting ourselves up for success, not for achieving everything.

“Not to be a pessimist, but if you weren’t doing anything in your 20s, it’s not really going to shift in your 30s,” Weathers says.

As a recording artist, lounge owner, and CEO, Weathers has always loved the hustle. Now he sees that success isn’t a specific goal — it’s having flexibility when defining success.

Being intentional is key at any stage of life, it doesn’t just click when you turn a certain age. Setting aspirations now will prepare you for the future. It’s kind of like falling asleep with your makeup on — it’s cute in your early 20s, but eventually you’ll need to do better.

“Ask yourself why you’re doing things, why you’re hanging out with certain people, what’s your focus, or what do you just want out of life?” Weathers says.

Success isn’t a specific goal — it’s having flexibility when defining success.

Maybe by the time you hit 30, you plan on getting married, graduating from college, or landing your first “adult” job. Sometimes, we think we’re ready for certain goals, but they don’t always happen on the timeline we create in our head.

THE SECURITY OF GOALS

You might have to wait on or even sacrifice some smaller achievements to reach your biggest ones. Take time to sit with yourself and ask what you really want. Maybe you’re not passionate about being a parent and you’re just listening to outside opinions. Allow a pause to decide what you want your 20s, and the rest of your life, to look like.

“I have a lot of friends that went the family route. I think that all of your focus goes towards raising a child or dedicating [yourself to parenting],” Weathers says. “I drastically chose the opposite.”

Do you want to go back to school? Or is that what your parents want for you? Are you ready to settle down? Or are you not the marrying type? Have you always dreamed of being a parent? Or do you want to be the cool and mysterious auntie or uncle? This is what your 20s are for — to decide what you want.

“Having [goals] you can lean on to feel in control during an obstacle or challenge gives [you] a sense of safety,” says Tj Scott, a mindset mentor in Des Moines, Iowa.

Pick out goals that serve you. Then you can start actualizing and editing them. This is your life, not anyone else’s — and you rarely make the wrong decision if it’s informed. But that doesn’t mean you should play it safe — push yourself to do things that challenge you.

If that calculus class has you rethinking your current career path, take a step back and analyze your goals. If something feels off, remember — there will always be another job, hobby, or person that fulfills you more. Just be patient as you navigate those obstacles.

OUR 20S ARE WEIRD

Theresa O’Keefe, a licensed clinical social worker in western Montana, says the 20s are just a “weird time” for most of us. It’s a decade of change.

“Some people, as they’re turning 20, are becoming parents [and] getting married,” O’Keefe says. “Others are barely shifting their life from what it was like living in their parents’ home or still living in their parents’ home.”

Typically developmental benchmarks are associated with adolescents who may be behind in reading or writing — but it differs in adults. The benchmarks that society has pushed on us look a bit like this: graduate from college at 22, land your dream job at 23, get married at 24, have kids at 25, and buy a house in between all of those.

Unfortunately for young adults, these benchmarks make us feel like we’re doing something wrong, no matter what we choose. It’s a complete paradox: if you’re not dating to marry — you’re not being strategic, but if you’re already settling down — you’re wasting your youth. If you work too much — you’re taking the fun out of life, but if you take a mental health day — you’re being lazy. It all seems a bit impossible.

If you feel behind, getting older can feel like a horrible experience. But O’Keefe says these standards shouldn’t be indicators of self-worth. These “benchmarks” aren’t everyone’s path.

Societal standards don’t consider an individual’s hopes, dreams, or conflicts outside of their control. So for many of us, turning 30 can feel like a nail in the coffin.

RIP 20S, YOU WOULD’VE LOVED OUR 30S

Like Weathers, Janae Gray, 36, wasn’t concerned about turning 30. She was ready to turn the page and happy for the wisdom and experiences her 20s brought.

Gray’s a busy woman. She’s a marketing advisor to the B. Wells Foundation, a vice president of marketing and supplier diversity for Mittera, a mentor for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program in Central Iowa, and a small-business owner.

On Gray’s 30th birthday, she celebrated by pledging death to her 20s.

“Everything had to be all black. I felt like [it] was a death to my 20s,” Gray says. “Honestly, in a little bit of a celebration.”

She was confident about her 20s and excited for what her 30s held.

“If you’ve been able to manage [societal standards] pretty well … Thirty can be a little bit more of a rite of passage,” O’Keefe says.

Reaching societal standards wasn’t hard for Gray. For the most part, she did. The ones she didn’t meet were overshadowed by more important goals.

“If I wasn’t in a job that I wanted to be at, then adding kids wasn’t going to make my life any better,” Gray says. “I knew that I wanted to be in a more stable place myself and have hit the goals that I wanted to hit before adding more layers onto anything.”

THE SUBTLE ART OF GETTING OLDER

I’ll probably cry when I turn 30. I don’t think it’s because I’m afraid, but because of my tendency to be dramatic. I hate goodbyes, but I also love hellos. We stan a contradicting cutie.

I’m in a much better place now than I was in 2019, crying over my old journals. I hope you are too. But don’t forget that you won’t be 20-something forever. If 30 seems far away or too close for comfort — being intentional in the moment will allow change, learning, and new experiences. If there’s one universal goal, it should be to keep growing into a better version of ourselves — for ourselves.

Getting older can be hard — I’m not the same girl I was at 19 — and I’m grateful for that.

“I hope I’m still changing in my 40s. Otherwise, it means I was probably doing the wrong shit in my 30s,” Weathers says. “I hope I still like me. I hope I’m still somebody I’m proud of and want to be around.”

A GUID e fo R t H e next D e CAD e :

1

2

3

4

Examine if your thoughts about falling behind are necessary — if you’re just being hard on yourself, throw them out and plant new ones. Eventually, those negative thoughts will show up less.

View life in decades rather than years. This helps with goal setting while allowing flexibility for unexpected moments. When things get tough, remember that meaningful progress toward a goal often takes about a year.

Be intentional in your 20s. Rather than staying in constant grind mode, focus on learning from experiences and creating new ones.

5

6

7

Create goals that match your lifestyle. If you want to be at the top of your career but want to be an active and attentive parent, it will take more work than just choosing one. Decide what’s important to you at this stage of your life and make the time for it.

Focus on your happiness, you don’t owe anyone anything. If you worry too much about what everyone has to say, you miss out on your own voice.

Breathe — it’s going to be okay. You don’t have to do what your parents did or what your friends are doing.

You don’t have to say yes to everything. But don’t say no to everything either.

THE WORLD IS A SH*T SHOW.

AND WE’RE MOVING ON.