Chuckles from down Under

A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. “You are all part of our team now,” said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other employees.”

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard and I’m satisfied with you. However, one of our admin staff has disappeared. Do you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads indicating “no”.

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the admin person?”

A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, “You fool! For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and supervisors and no one has noticed anything, but no, you had to go and eat someone important!”

Courtesy of Bell Veterinary Services

An elderly nun, living next door to a construction site, noticed coarse language coming from the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decides to take her lunch and sit with them, so puts her sandwich in a brown paper bag and walks over to the spot where the men are eating.

Sporting a big smile, she walks up to the group and asks, “Any of you men know Jesus Christ?”

They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused. Then one of the workers looked up into the scaffolding and yelled out: “Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?”

One of the workers yelled back down, “Why?” The worker replied, “Because his mum’s here with his lunch!”

Courtesy of St Joseph’s Parish Dalby and Bell Veterinary Services