The Featheralist: Volume 01, Issue 04

del norte high school - april 2019 - volume 01, issue 04

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www.powayusd.com/Schools/HS/DNHS/home dnhshumanities.wixsite.com/thefeatheralist dnhshumanities@gmail.com School population: 2365 students, 162 full-time staff Editorial Policy: The Featheralist is produced and managed entirely by members of the synonymous The Featheralist club, a 100% student-run extracurricular club. The Featheralist club members are divided into three departments: Writing, Art, and Graphic Design. Each department is led by a small group of student officers.

The Writing Department gathers pieces for each issue from a combination of campus-at-large submissions and in-house writers. Writing Department officers approve each draft or outline solely on the criteria of appropriateness for a school environment. As a publication, The Featheralist prides itself on accepting pieces from all political sides, genres, and topics. After drafts are collected and approved, the entire Writing Department is divided into small “editing squads,” each led by a student officer, whose members comprehensively edit and polish each others’ articles.

Similarly, the Art Department gathers artwork for each issue from a combination of campus-at-large submissions and in-house artists, who do commissioned work to accompany specific articles. It inspects each submission for digital quality and appropriateness for a school environment. The Art Department accepts artwork of all subjects, mediums, and styles. The Art Department also accepts submissions for the front cover.

Finally, the Graphic Design Department pieces the written and artistic submissions together. Graphic Design members design spreads for each article to be published and assemble the entire publication into print-ready condition.

Mission Statement: The Featheralist as a club exists to foster a collaborative and mutually edifying community of artists, writers, and graphic designers. It empowers students to explore topics spanning the entire spectrum of the humanities—from screenplay to political essay, from poetry to short story. It serves as a megaphone to broadcast students’ unique ideas, experiences, and visions to the entire campus and the larger community.

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

The Featheralist, Volume 1 Issue 4 - Brightside The Literary and Political Feature Magazine of Del Norte High School 16601 Nighthawk Ln, San Diego, CA 92127 (858)-487-0877

Through the symbiosis of students’ vibrant art and insightful writing, The Featheralist as a print publication aims to galvanize and inspire political and cultural discussion on campus and in the community. The impetus for The Featheralist is one word: access—to give all students an opportunity to have their work recognized and disseminated all over the community, regardless of their interests, political affiliations, or preferred genres of composition.

Font families: Perpetua, Clear Sans, Bebas Neue Computer hardware and software: Windows 10 and Adobe Illustrator. Adobe Photoshop is also used for light touch-ups and edits.

Paper stock: The Featheralist is printed with 100# Glossy Text for the cover and 80# Glossy Text for the inside pages. We would like to thank our printing company, Best Printing USA, for their steadfast technical support and consistent high quality.

Price of magazine: We rely 100% on local advertisers and student essay contest award money to print our magazine. We print around 150 copies per issue depending on page count and distribute copies of each publication for free to the Del Norte student body and surrounding community.

Theme: Bright Side—we hope to see the positives in the world and to trace the silver lining with our eyes.

Scholastic Affiliations: We are excited and proud to be first-year members of the Columbia Student Press Association.

Cover designed by Cynthia Wang, ‘21

The positions expressed in any of the articles are solely those of the individual writer. They do not represent the viewpoints of The Featheralist as a club, nor those of Del Norte High School or the Poway Unified School District.

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I used to see progress as a tower of cards. Difficult to build, but easy to destroy. Given this framing, it seemed like suffering would always be the dominant force on earth. Then I read Les Misérables and became an optimist, someone who sees the cruelty of society, and rather than concluding that change is impossible and humanity is worthless, believing that, if anything, change is inevitable, and humanity is invaluable and loving and kind. That may seem like an extreme opinion to hold, and truly, not all of my optimism comes from that book. It started out with Les Mis, but how did I end up like this, doing just fine, rather than swimming through sick lullabies like I used to? Well, I’m coming out of my cage to tell you.

There are indeed many depressing stories in the news today. I’m sure you can think of a few. And that makes a lot of sense. Thanks to negativity bias, we are psychologically built to focus more on the bad than the good. Nobody pays any mind to unspilled milk. However, we must remember that our focus doesn’t represent reality, and I know this for a fact because I am very focused on the the subscriber battle between Pewdiepie and T-Series even though it has affected absolutely no one ever. With everything happening in our country and our world today, it’s important to take a breather and remember what’s real–that good does exist. Fascist governments have fallen. Whole diseases have been eliminated. Polite conversations have occurred on Twitter. Plays like the student-created Del Norte musical Take Two, which will perform in the PAC on May 17th at 7 pm and is possibly better than Les Mis, have been written.

All of it is thanks to the fact that despite our ability to ruin things, we continue to work towards fixing them, and we’ve succeeded at it a surprising amount of times for a species that invented Riverdale.

Here is a quote from Les Mis that gives me hope: “In the future there shall be neither darkness nor thunderbolts, neither ferocious ignorance nor blood for blood…In the future no man will slay his fellow, the earth will be radiant, the human race will love. It will come, citizens, that day when all shall be concord, harmony, light, joy, and life.”

Maybe it’s an idealistic thought. But maybe it’s good to have idealistic thoughts. Maybe it’s good to take steps towards a better tomorrow, starting by remembering that such steps have been and can be taken. In the face of bleak and broken circumstances, it can’t hurt to get a dose of reality and take a look at the bright side.

Sincerely, The Featheralist “Sunset” - Cynthia Wang, ‘21 - Painting 03

“Hazel’s Irises” - Angela Chen,‘19 - Pastel

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

words of encouragement from a fellow high schooler

“i cannot be everything to everyone if i am nothing to myself ” everyday, we tear ourselves apart: tests gone wrong, fights with friends, words said and regretted, a day gone bad. we find ways to blame ourselves, especially when things aren’t our faults, when there are things out of our control. we always take time to appreciate others, but why can’t we ever find time to appreciate ourselves? you cannot be anything to everyone if you are nothing to yourself. it is not a crime to appreciate you. it is not a crime to look in the mirror and say i look good. it is not a crime to reflect on a test and say i did well. it is not a crime to give yourself a hug after a bad day and say there will be better times. it is not a crime to tell yourself that you are doing okay. and you are. truly, you’re doing wonderfully. it is not a crime to give yourself some love-- so don’t be afraid to. so for all my fellow high schoolers, my insecure honeys, friends who still struggle with accepting who you are: the more we love ourselves, the more we mean to ourselves. self love is a right, not a privilege. never hesitate to use it. as the year comes closer to its end, remember to give yourself a little more love. you deserve it! sending love and encouragement, a fellow student 04

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... A LOT OF THE WORLD’S POSITIVES COME FROM THE SIMPLE FACT THAT WE CONTINUE TO WAKE UP EVERY DAY KNOWING THERE WILL BE JOY IN OUR FUTURE, THAT EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE HAS A CHANCE TO BE HAPPY. - LOGICAL REASONS TO BE A OPTIMIST

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LOGICAL REASONS TO BE AN OPTIMIST

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A POEM TO THE URN

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LITTLE SUNS

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A GLEAM

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SOMETHING ABOUT YOU

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FINDING HARMONY

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AN INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN MAIENSCHEIN

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A WALK IN THE PARK

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BURIED AWAY

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NATIONALISM AND PATRIOTISM

by Danica Chen, ‘19, and Nora Mousa, ’20

by Angela Chen, ‘19

by Diane Zhou, ‘22

by Ayesha Aslam-Mir, ‘20

by Bella Chong, ‘22

by Ellie Feng, ‘20

by Skyler Wu, ‘20, and Nora Mousa, ’20

by Crystal Wang, ‘19 (Guest Writer)

by Kane Xu, ‘21

by Kevin Wang, ‘21

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BREAD AND BUTTER

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THAT LITTLE BLUE WATER PISTOL

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A BREATH OF FRESH AIR

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ALEXA, GOOGLE “COOKIE”

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MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL OFFSEASON

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WHY THERAPY DOGS WORK

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THE LIFE I COULD HAVE LIVED

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TAKE TWO PREVIEW

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CONTRIBUTORS AND WORKS CITED

by Phoenix Dimagiba, ‘19

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

“Light of Kindness” Allen Chen, ‘21 Digital

by Skyler Wu, ‘20

by Ashley Asadi, ‘19

by Andrew Wang, ‘20

by Joseph Li, ‘20

by Manasvi Vora, ‘20

by Danica Chen, ‘19

by Angela Chen, ‘19, Danica Chen, ‘19, and Lisa Ye, ’19

Art by Cool Artist 06

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“Bloom” - Cynthia Wang, ‘21 - Digital

logical reasons to be an optimist

by Danica Chen, ‘19, and Nora Mousa, ’20

start of 2018

january 04

april 27 07

A new study reports that the hole in the ozone layer is healing and will soon be fully repaired. The improved ozone layer will keep people safer from skin and eye damage caused by UV radiation, and as an added benefit, the measures in place to fix it also help reduce climate change. The 1987 Montreal Protocol, an international agreement designed to reduce harmful chemicals, is largely credited for the success, and the recent Kigali Amendment to the Montreal protocol targeting HFC gases is expected to further combat climate change.

President of South Korea Moon Jae-In and Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un vow to denuclearize and bring the Korean War to an official end. The meeting is the first in 10 years between the two leaders, and both agree to meet again in Pyongyang in the fall. Both also agree to suspend propaganda broadcasts into each other’s country and keep in touch through phone.

june 05

july 10 september 06 october 10 november 07 december 31 end of 2018

Ethiopia accepts a contested peace deal with Eritrea resolving a long and bloody border dispute between the nations. Though Ethiopia signed the agreement in 2000, it disagreed with the boundary commission established by the deal and refused to adhere to its terms until now. The new Ethiopian prime minister, Abiy Ahmed, declares his intention to finally end the tension with Eritrea during the agreement, marking a major step towards improving diplomatic relations between the two African countries.

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may 12

Danica Chen makes a great sandwich. She doesn’t remember anything about it except that she thought to herself while eating it, “You know, I think I actually made a great sandwich!” And she’s right. It was. If you don’t care, you can insert your own personal good 2018 memory here, or you can be wonderful and empathetic and try to understand the simple pride of crafting a successful sandwich (that’s French for sandwich).

All 12 Thai soccer players and their coach are rescued from the Tham Luang Nang Nong cave in Chiang Rai, Thailand. The group was trapped in the cave on June 23 following heavy rains and flooding; thanks to immediate international cooperation, all of those trapped survive with only minor injuries.

In a major victory for gay rights, India’s Supreme Court rules unanimously to overturn a law criminalizing consensual gay sex. Chief Justice Dipak Misra tells the courtroom, “Respect for individual choice is the essence of liberty… this freedom can only be fulfilled when each of us realizes that the LGBT community possesses equal rights.”

Rangers in Tanzania start using new animal tracking technology to combat ivory poaching. The system gives rangers a comprehensive view of protected areas, meaning rangers can now prevent threats to elephant lives instead of merely reacting to reports of deaths or injuries. Scouts report the technology makes their work easier and more efficient, helping them not only save more elephants but avoid personally dangerous encounters with poachers.

The 2018 midterms bring about unprecedented diversity to the United States Congress with House representatives like Deb Haaland, a Native American woman, and Veronica Escobar and Sylvia Garcia, the first Latina congresswomen from Texas, contributing to record proportions of gender, racial, and ethnic representation. The governorship also sees a landmark step forward with Jared Polis of Colorado being the first openly gay man to be elected governor in the US. The year ends, and the universe still exists, which isn’t news, but a lot of the world’s positives come from the simple fact that we continue to wake up every day knowing there will be joy in our future, that everyone regardless of circumstance has a chance to be happy. Perfection is unachievable, but so is complete despair; goodness may be complex and fragile and difficult, but it is damn unkillable. Or something like that. I don’t know. I’m not cheesy, you are. Get off my back.

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“Koi Pond” Angela Chen, ‘19 Watercolor

by Angela Chen, ‘19 to: the urn sitting motionless on the pedestal who stares silently with a strange, suffocating gaze, and you wonder, is it better to have an empty urn, hungry for a loved one’s ashes, or is it better to have a full one, feasting on the remains of a body someone once called home? (he passes away in his sleep, in the middle of the night, in the middle of a thunderstorm. you wonder if the urn would have spared him if you had sacrificed your own ashes first.) to: the long hours of dreading the dawn when your chest feels so hollow the pounding rainfall echoes against your ribs when nothing can even begin to revive the decaying feathered creature inside you except for the steady stream of music, melancholy and overcast, pouring into your ears (your mother judges the music you listen to, but you let her because he judged your music too, and you miss him. you wonder if it’s possible to amputate an emotion.) to: the day you first spoke to the classmate sitting in front of you who asked about your day and laughed at your sarcastic response and eventually drew silly doodles with you and told you about how cool sea anemones were and sent you a playlist of her favorite songs (her music sounds like the light cast by stained glass; she’s beaming like an excited little canary, and you crack a smile too. you wonder if she knows how much she’s helping.) to: the earbuds you shared with her while watching the sunset the sky caresses the few remaining clouds until a sunlit silver seeps into their edges the music you share reminds you of him a little, but mostly it reminds you that she is beside you and your eyes are raining because the sky — and your heart — aren’t anymore. (she is holding your hand. you realize that you are not an urn, unmoving and unchanging, feeding only on fire and pain and death. you can sustain yourself on love also.)

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VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

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little suns

by Diane Zhou,‘22

Soft bed, warm covers, lost in a sea of blankets Raindrops against the windows, hitting the concrete streets Long day, long week, long month But the raindrops are short and sweet Left the blinds open last night There’s the picture perfect sunrise, painting the sky with beams It’s too early for this, I think Drifting back into the land of sweet dreams Four hours later, it’s 11 a.m.

The land of sweet dreams now a faint, far away glow Stumbling into the yard, fresh air fills my lungs Breeze against my face, nature waving hello Raindrops from the night before Dotting all the plants, rulers of the garden, they reign Roses, honeysuckle, ninebark Clear pebbles are the morning dew and nighttime rain Borrowed a book from a friend Spent one too many late nights falling deeper into that fictional pit My one true pair, yes, they belong together I’m drifting asleep as they finally admit A different kind of love in a different kind of night Late night walks with the family, bundled up for the cold Night time always gives me something different Even though I’ve walked these streets since I was 5 years old When only the streetlights illuminate the roads And there are no sounds of rushed cars The park the same as 10 short years ago The little kindergartener with her name written on a star The last type of love is a grateful love Speeding on the highways, lights flashing by, memories to keep Tiring day of what I love the most, contentment flooding in But still eager for bed, still eager for sleep They say laughter is medicine for the soul And I’ve always believed it to be true Friends laughing, joy spreading, cheer contagious Smiles on faces, no more feeling blue Make them laugh out loud, laughing so hard it hurts When they’re angry or disappointed or sad Say one thing that warms their heart, I know lately, it’s been hard But words are all I need and all I’ve ever had Strangers too, I’d make them laugh From random jokes to small talk Sad smiles into blooming ones And only then away do I walk

“Clear Skies” - Shannon Zhu, ‘22 - Painting Birthday’s here, only once a year But no matter the occasion, big, medium, or small Handwritten notes, warm fuzzy feeling That one piece of paper does it all Thought happiness would knock on my door with the biggest news that I knew But it’s not always like that, don’t you see I’ll be thankful for the little lights in life And I’ll see the little suns that surround me 10

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The human conscious lays on The human brain: like a quilt, composed of fabrics and stories Elaborate, intricate, delicate, powerful, mighty

a gleam

by Ayesha Aslam-Mir,‘20

The human composes Perspective: Off of Imagery It is Sensory Imaginary Personal Honest and Immensely raw The human brain is a complex masterpiece A rube goldberg; a mosaic of disparate patterns Components that are sometimes brilliant And others Convoluted

E T T T

A collective conscious Like a beast, Aggressive, atrocious, chaotic

E H S L

And yet Facile, lighthearted, naive

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The mind: an infinitely complex universe Having imagined and brought to substance War and horror and pain and suffering Yet is also has Enlightened corners of the earth with efforts to undo what wrongs have been done

W T T T A

How immensely different Every cliche and clique compares to the individual Collective and individual conscious How incredible and intelligent and innovative we are How horrible and disgusting and filthy we are How innocent and sensitive and dainty we are The human is like a delicate china Cracking under slight pressures or stress But always: beautiful Displayed for beauty and prize But not quite; The human requires strength For themself, to pursue For others, to lift up Communal channeling to the Titan’s load The human requires support Beams and planks Webs of arms Outreached Helping hands Together: Intelligent thought Intellectual motions Mental alignment Even when The songwriter spills deep emotions over a past love 11

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T W A I B

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Even when The students are stuck under pressure The families are trapped by finances The athlete is caught by an injury Even when Humanity finds itself under blankets and blankets Suffocating under covers of pain and darkness Losing its senses besides those of loss

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

The mother cries for a lost son The refugee weeps over a lost home; war, disasters of humans, of nature

The human can find some sight from others Not quite a flashlight; but We can be The soft glow of a lamp; The guiding hand through the maze; The wind in the sail, the river downstream, the grass below the feet; A refreshing air and breeze — comfort The human here offers to you Warm blankets in the winter A steaming cup of tea Ice in the summer Bandaids for bloody knees How complex and labyrinthine The quilt of the human brain; Humanity does good Though there is always some bad Even when some make it dark In people, there is light

From top left to bottom right: “A Kite’s Journey” - by Angela Chen, ‘19 - Watercolor “Boy Under Twilight” - Angelyn Huang, ‘22 - Oil Paint “Coronado Bridge” - Cynthia Wang, ‘21 - Painting “Blue, Yet Happy” - Imran Tallman, ‘19 - Photography 12

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something about you

“Someone” Cynthia Li, ‘21 Digital

by Bella Chong, ‘22 Dear You:

It was never supposed to happen this way, Where I've fallen so head over heels.

It's just something so special about you That makes me sure of how I feel.

It threatens to take this precious thing we have— To lock it up and throw away the key.

It's a sugar rush, but beats in sync with our lives, And now we're falling from our peak.

The love that we cherish is worth more than gold.

It's the little things in life and the words that are told.

The love that we hold—I hold in the depths of my heart.

It's the thought of getting drunk off your laugh and bottling it up in a jar.

But there's something about you that keeps fighting.

And darling, it makes me want to keep fighting, too, To see you through to the end because isn't that what true lovers do?

And when you smile—god, when you smile at me, It's like a beauty I've been blinded with, and the only thing I can see.

You hold me when I choke on my own sobs; you warm my hands when they're cold, And even if I am sick and tired, you are there for me to hold.

But as we go on, I've began to notice That we've been running on borrowed time.

Life loves to play wicked, little games, Stripping our future from our eyes.

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And now I see you, I see you for who you are.

The golden crown atop your heart, and your eyes filled with stars.

Your touch is like fire, and your words are so warm.

To be loved by you is a gift, and I would love nothing more.

From the bottom of my heart— Because that's where your light will be— I will cherish our memories together...

With love, this is from me.

You are alive with music.

Your life bursts with color.

Each emotion, impulse, and idea you feel flash through your body is a single note in a symphony of chaotic beauty.

This life is music of your own creation.

You are an artist.

Your music is perpetually Growing Evolving Blossoming Weaving in bouncing arpeggios, spontaneous trills, and playful staccatos, Stringing in sorrowful glissandos, dissonant chords, and misplayed notes.

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

Listen.

Your heart thumps with the vigor of a pounding bass drum.

Your spirit buzzes with the energy of a blaring trumpet.

Your soul burns with the raw, untamed passion of a musician.

Your music is a clash between structure and flexibility, A battlefield of routine against risk.

In their push and pull for dominance, sparks of excitement and surprise fly through the air.

e” 1 l

by Ellie Feng,‘20

Your music is unlike anyone else’s.

Not the same key, time signature, or tempo.

Never the same melodies or mistakes.

Unique.

Unrefined.

Masterpiece.

Yet, when you feel lost in the storm of pages, unable to keep up with rapid waves of change, vainly trying to steer your piece back into familiarity, When easy repetitive patterns are swept away by whirlwinds of sudden key changes and variations, When confident fortes, accents, and allegros are crushed by the darkness of sudden pianissimos and prolonged rests, You lose direction.

You lose control.

You lose faith.

But you can’t put down your instrument.

You are a musician.

You are a musician, and musicians will always forge on.

Seek support from your fellow composers as you prepare to begin anew.

Turn your mistakes into inspiration for a new melody.

Discard the fragments of broken melodies that you once tripped over, And make music from what remains.

“Swinging From A Dream” Cynthia Wang,‘21 - Painting

The life you sing is art.

And never let the music stop.

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in e t a s d c

Photo Courtesy of Assemblymember Brian Maienschein

a discussion with assemblymember

brian maienschein

by Skyler Wu, ‘20 and Nora Mousa, ’20

Following the exciting November 2018 gubernatorial elections, The Featheralist was extremely fortunate to be granted an interview with California State Assemblymember Brian Maienschein (77th District). Prior to the November elections, Assemblymember Maienschein was a member of the Republican party; he is currently a member of the Democratic Party.

Assemblymember Maienschein was previously the San Diego Commissioner on Homelessness as well as a multiple-term San Diego City Councilmember.

What made you initially run for the San Diego City Council? Why give up your stable, high-paying lawyer job for public service?

I was somebody who grew up in my district; I went to elementary school, middle school and high school there, and I was very active in my community and thought that I could do a good job protecting the interests of people in my community. I wanted to continue to make the district a nice place to live in, so I decided to run, and I was fortunate enough to win.

What is a day in the life of an Assemblymember like? Would you recommend this type of service to a friend?

I go to the airport on Monday morning and fly out to Sacramento and have either floor sessions or committee meetings all day until about 7 or 8 o'clock in the evening. I fly back on Thursday afternoon and drive to my office here in the district. I work through the weekend here; it’s a lot of hours, it’s a pretty constant job, and the flying gets old really quickly.

If you could choose 3 San Diego restaurants to cater a 3 course meal to the entire assembly, which three would you choose?

I named Barrel Room my business of the year, so let’s ask them for an entree. Dessert, I have to go with my daughters; that’s either Dairy Queen or Baskin Robbins. A tie there, so I’ll defer to my girls. Appetizer, not really an appetizer guy, so just a large dessert.

Regarding policy, you have been a champion for mental health and animal rights, as well as maternal care.Why these focuses?

I’ve always been passionate about those issues. I happen to care a lot about animals; I think they are oftentimes ignored because they can’t talk and they can’t vote, but I think they are important, so I carved out a little place to pursue legislation to protect them. I think it’s similar 15

on mental health issues; people with severe mental health issues don’t often have a voice in the legislature. Mental health affects all parts of our society; we have more crime because of untreated mental illness, we have problems in our education system, we have a lot more homelessness because of untreated mental health. By caring about that, and championing that, and pursuing legislation in that area, I can make a difference across a whole spectrum of areas.

You were a Republican for most of your life; could you go into why you switched to the Democratic party?

It was a lot of things; it wasn’t any one reason; the party had continued to move to the right and was moving away from me. I also thought that the national party wasn’t representative of a lot of the issues I care about and the way that I conduct myself. I can’t point to any one single thing that did it—it was a cumulative impact of a lot of smaller things.

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I A g t a r

As a Republican, you were well-known for voting by your principles and often voting across the aisle in our district.What problems in the Democratic party kept you from switching for so long?

I’ve always been somebody who was very independent, and I always felt that I was there to represent my district. Sometimes it means that I fall in line with the Republicans, sometimes with the Democrats. It was more that the Republican party kept moving farther and farther away and isolating me. I intend to continue to be the same person I’ve always been—I’ve always been very independent, and I’ve always considered issues on an individual basis, and I will continue to do that.

H c p r I c

When you were a Republican, you were attacked by Republicans and Democrats a lot for being too moderate. Is there any difference between being a moderate Republican and a conservative Democrat?

That’s a hard question to answer, because the labels are a shorthand way for the media to identify people. I don’t feel that I ever have fit

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As a student publication, our content caters to the student body.What, in your opinion, are the biggest problems in education, and how can the Assembly address them?

I’m doing two bills this year on education; one is to provide block grants to increase teacher retention, and the second one that I’m working on is to increase childhood literacy. I think that is one of the biggest issues; we find that kids who can’t read well by the time they are in fourth grade, their chances of succeeding in life diminish significantly. I think that childhood literacy is very critical—I’m partnering with the Superintendent of Schools to pursue that and obtain block grant money for teachers, to make sure that we are retaining teachers in low income communities that have a harder time on teacher retention issues.

At Del Norte, 1 in 10 of our student body qualifies for free or reduced lunch.

How can we better support low-income families in our district?

I do think that working on childhood literacy and pre-K education helps. I’ve been a big champion for increasing our education budget; I’ve helped get large increases into our state budget for education over the last six years. I’m going to continue to support that to ensure that we have the funding to help our schools perform better.

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Also, California has some of the strictest gun legislation in the nation. As we know, you are a champion for common sense gun legislation. Have we gone too far? Are there any policies that still need to be enacted?

d t e e s.

I don’t know what exactly is going to come up this year. I think the 2nd Amendment protects gun rights, but at the same time I think there are guns out there that our Founding Fathers never considered. Some of these can fire hundreds of rounds per minute with cop-killer bullets and become weapons of war. And, I think it’s reasonable to have restrictions on such weapons.

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s t t r e s t.

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In 2016, California voters passed a $9 billion bond for school construction, but Governor Brown was against this proposal. As you mentioned, you are a supporter of increasing state budgets for education. Governor Newsom also has a “Cradle to Career Education” initiative. Do you think these programs will work?

He hasn’t spelled out specifically what that means specifically, but in concept I think it is good. Like you and I were talking about earlier, pre-K education is important, and obviously having a strong elementary education as a baseline as we move through the system is important.

It’s yet to be determined what the governor is referring to, but in concept, he’s on the right track.

Going back to your recent switch to the Democratic Party, have you encountered any reactions from your constituency and if so, do you plan to act any differently?

No, certainly I’ve been somebody who’s independent and has voted by

the best interests of my district my whole career. So I don’t intend to change that. I consider issues on their merit; I’m not someone who is highly partisan, so I’m going to continue to evaluate issues as they come and represent my district, rather than a political party.

Also, the Governor recently blocked the deployment of California’s National Guard to the border. Do you agree with the Governor’s stance? Is there actually a “national emergency” and how would it affect our district? Can the state government do anything to help the situation?

I don’t think that qualifies as a “national emergency” or what the National Guard was intended for. I was a member of the San Diego City Council and this issue came up many times. In the end, good, bad, or indifferent, the federal government has to take care of the border. It doesn’t fall within the purview of the state of California or the city of San Diego. In fact, if the city tried to put police officers there by the border, it wouldn’t be allowed by the federal government. Those issues that are current fall under the responsibility of the President and the Congress.

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into one of those labels; like you said, I’ve always been very independent and I’ve always worked across party lines, and I did it because that’s the way to get things done for my district. The issues that I care about and I champion, you know, I welcome Republicans and Democrats to support those issues. It takes more than just my vote to get things done, so I’m going to continue to reach out to Republicans and Democrats to get things done for my district.

Big picture, you have been appointed to seats on some very influential committees this year. More specifically, how do you think your membership on these committees will directly benefit our district?

I’ve been appointed to good committees that have a significant impact on our life here in the district. I’ll talk about one first—the Human Services Committee. The social services issues that affect our state, especially in the areas of homelessness and mental health, fall under the purview of this committee, so I was very pleased to be placed on this committee, and I will be in a good position to influence policy in that area, so I’m glad about that. The judiciary committee, is also very significant in our state for obvious reasons. So those are the two main ones that I think will have the most impact on our state. Finally, the Appropriations Committee is another one. It works on budget issues, and on many of the issues we’ve talked about during the course of this interview, education, homelessness—the budget is significant because where you choose to spend money matters.

How can passionate students in our district become more involved in politics?

I think it’s paying attention and learning about the issues, but learning about the issues in an educated way as opposed to watching cable news and reacting to partisan attacks. I suggest actually researching a bill, seeing what it says, and writing a thoughtful letter to a representative.

Those ways are smart and positives ways to get involved. Also, you can volunteer at a nonprofit, to feed the homeless, or to work with troubled peers. And of course, we have a stellar high school intern program here at the district office.

Thank you so much, Assemblymember, for granting us this interview.

To contact Assemblymember Maienschein about your concerns on certain issues or to receive more information about the 77th District high school internship program, please call: (858) 657-0688.

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by Crystal Wang, ‘19 (The Bishop’s School, Guest Writer)

His TV is buffering again. He sighs, presses the power button, and pads over to his nightstand, where the daily issue of “国际日报”1 rests. He’s already read it once this morning, front to back, but he takes out his reading glasses anyway. He will tell his family today, he decides, about the earthquake in Mexico, letting the event drift down onto the dinner table like an afterthought. His son-in-law will make a sympathetic noise, his daughter will look up from her work, and his granddaughter will cease her chatter (in English, of course, always in English) for a few seconds to ask him, in halting Mandarin, where it happened, how many people died. And he will be able to tell her, and for just a minute or so, they will all see him and listen to him speak. Yes, he decides. The earthquake in Mexico will do.

laptop screen, and he adds, “Chairman Xi is meeting with Singapore soon.

They’re going to talk about…” he stops short, fumbling for a proper end to the sentence- “international trade.” There. That sounds about right. He shifts back and forth on his feet, but she doesn’t respond. He leaves the room, sighs.

Out of habit, he turns to show the article to his wife, but his eyes land only on his nightstand and a framed picture of the two of them, smiling side-by-side in front of this house. Right. They were going to go on a cruise this year, for their 50th anniversary. He never had his tickets refunded.

He remembers the construction workers along his usual path yesterday, so he turns right instead. The sight of the unfamiliar sidewalk bolsters his step, makes the crunch of the occasional leaf beneath his feet just a little more satisfying. Perhaps he will see something fascinating, something he can tell his family about. He might even save the earthquake news for tomorrow.

He tries the television again, then opens the window to let in some fresh air. He paces around his room twice, feeling his knees creak every time his toes push against the flooring. He pushes the door open and hears his granddaughter’s violin, keening faintly upstairs. He didn’t know she was home. He crosses through the dining room. His daughter is in her office.

“I’m going out for a walk,” he announces. She nods, eyes focused on her

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“Empire” - Angelyn Huang, ‘22 - Colored Pencil

The time on his Samsung Rugby 4 reads 4:45, which gives him about one and a quarter hours before his family expects him home for dinner. Winter air ghosts across his face as he pushes open the side door, and he shivers. His right arm still feels colder than his left, missing the warm weight of someone’s elbow… but then, it hasn’t even been six months yet.

He inhales, the damp scent of shrubs and grass tickling his nose. The sky is a comforting grey, the sun blurry in the sky. There are more trees lining the sidewalk in this direction, he thinks. They cast long, faint shadows over the concrete, shadows that cover his own.

At first, he waves at the few people he sees walking by—a man and his wife,

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About half an hour into his journey, he is contemplating making his way back when he hears a string of familiar words. “宝贝!” A woman calls breathlessly from the street in front of him. “你走 慢一点!”2 She is being dragged forward by a girl of about seven, who is rushing towards a park he didn’t notice before, just across the road. There is something about the way the woman laughs that reminds him of something he can’t quite place. He crosses the street.

The park is bustling with Friday afternoon families, but there is still an empty space on the bench near the swings. It creaks under his weight, and the planks dig into his back, but from here, he can listen clearly to the two—the daughter settling onto the swing, and the mother standing in front of her. They continue speaking in Chinese.

“What did you do at school today, sweetie?”

The girl hums thoughtfully, eyes closed, head tilted towards the sky as she pumps her legs back and forth. “We… oh! We started learning about multiplication!”

“How was that?”

“I thought it was really really easy, but Angela-” “Your friend?” “Yep.” “Chinese?”

“No, I think she’s Korean. Or Vietnamese. Her last name is Chung, so-” “Oh, then she’s probably Korean.” “Sure.” “What did she do?”

“She thought it was hard, but she never asks questions in class-” “Oh, see, now that’s not good. You need to talk to other people in order to learn. It’s better to look stupid when asking a question than to-” “-so I explained it to her during lunch.”

“That’s very kind of you, sweetie. But you should tell Angela that, in the future-” “Oh! And then for lunch today, they had pizza, which was good, and…”

The conversation continues in this fashion, and he loses himself in the simplicity of their words, in the frank way they are presented, in how immediately they are translated from sound to meaning in his mind. All the while, his eyes rest on the back of the woman’s head. Her hair is short and wavy, he realizes, not much longer than his wife’s in the photo on his nightstand. That evening—it had been a fall holiday, he remembers, but he’s not sure which one. He had made gravy noodles, like he always did for birthdays back in China. And his daughter had been busy with her work, as usual, and his son-in-law had been busy with his granddaughter. It didn’t matter, though, because he had his wife to talk to and laugh with.

He considers the mother and daughter before him, their effortless smiles, their familiar conversation. How easy my life would be, he thinks, if I lived like them. He allows himself to imagine, for a second, slipping into their doorway and into their straightforward lives, and never having to hear another word he doesn’t understand. What would it be like to smile at somebody across the dinner table, every night from now on? To never care about the TV buffering, because he always has something better to do? To wake up every morning with a sense of purpose? To not have to speak to be seen?

hears her say, “You know it’s not polite to point. I’m sure he’s just tired.”

His ears redden. Eyes still trained on the ground, he pulls out his phone and frowns. It is 5:33. No missed calls. If he wants to return to the house in time for dinner, he should leave now.

The girl’s voice has taken on a whiny note. “But Mommy, he looks like he needs help!”

The woman shushes the girl, whispering a reply he can’t make out. Then, there are footsteps, crunching through the wood chips towards him. “叔叔4, are you lost?” Her voice is soft.

He shakes his head and finally looks up into her face. Her forehead is wide and her cheeks are round. She doesn’t look like his wife at all.

He checks his phone again. 5:34. Dinner is in 26 minutes. He waves a hasty goodbye to the mother and begins heading home.

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four laughing teenagers, a lone jogger with two rambunctious dogs—but after receiving only nods and uncomfortable smiles in return, his arms stay by his sides.

He cannot run at his age, so instead, he just shuffles forward as quickly as possible. His breath scrapes against the inside of his throat, and his arms feel far too heavy to lift. Sweat collects on his forehead, glues his shirt to his chest. He stumbles across sidewalk cracks, his legs sore and unsteady.

6:00 comes too quickly, when he is more than a block away from his destination, but still no missed calls. His family must be worried, though.

Of course they are. By now, his daughter will have dragged his chair from the office into the kitchen. The three of them are probably peering out the window, concern written on their faces, the table set and the food growing cold before them. They are, probably right now, debating whether or not to call.

He reaches the house at 6:06, exhausted and triumphant. He moves to the front door, lifts his fist to knock, and stops short.

Through the window, he can see his daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter sitting at the dining table, plates half-empty, looking no different than the last time he’d seen them. His daughter has her laptop out. His granddaughter says something, and her father smiles vaguely at her. None of them have noticed him yet. He can see his own reflection on the glass, ghostly and transparent. His chair is nowhere to be found.

His throat tightens, but no, no. He must be misreading the situation. Maybe they just assumed that he was coming home a bit later and decided to eat first. It happened once, last year. He and his wife had microwaved the leftovers and eaten them in comfortable silence.

He pushes open the fence to the backyard, where, ah-ha! His bedroom window is still open. He presses his ear to the window screen, where he can barely make out the sounds from the dinner table.

“Darling, look at this,” his son-in-law is saying. “There was an earthquake in Mexico yesterday.”

International Daily News, a Chinese-language newspaper sold in North America 1

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When he refocuses his gaze, the girl is looking right at him. He freezes.

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“[Form of endearment for a child], slow down, won’t you?”

“Mommy? Why is that 爷爷3 sitting there by himself?”

3

“Grandfather,” or a man two generations older than you.

e,

His eyes dart downward just as the woman turns around. “Sweetie,” he

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“Uncle,” or a man one generation older than you.

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T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

bur ied away: a reflection on camp manzanar

by Kane Xu,‘21 As our car rolled up on the sandy desert lot, we were immediately greeted with a towering wooden sign carved with the words: Manzanar War Relocation Center. The features of the camp matched what one would see in any other prison camp-barbed wire, guard towers, and dark, rectangular barracks. There, I stood at the very gate where thousands of Japanese American citizens had once taken their last breath of freedom. There, I listened to the same howling hymn of the desert wind that Japanese American citizens woke up to every morning. The moment was both surreal and overwhelming. I was caught in a swirl of dust and emotion.

When one visits a traditional prison camp, one expects to see rotten jail cells and hear stories of dangerous criminals. Camp Manzanar, however, is not a traditional prison. The camp upholds the memory of thousands of Japanese American citizens during a dark period of time in American history. In the months that followed the Pearl Harbor attack of Dec. 17, 1947, more than 110,000 Japanese Americans were forced to abandon their homes and businesses and relocate to one of the internment camps scattered across the West. Located at the foot of the eastern Sierra Nevada Mountains, Camp Manzanar was one of the ten remote, military-style camps.

I first heard about the imprisonment of US-Japanese citizens in 4th grade when our class watched a movie called Farewell to Manzanar. The moment of shock I felt came with the sudden realization that this horrific event had taken place in my country, in my state, and to my own fellow citizens. Japanese Americans were locked up in prison without a right to trial, sentenced solely based on the color of their skin, and ultimately stripped of their freedom. Of course, this was a footnote to the story of how America helped free Europe, to be liberated of Nazi Germany discriminating against people based on their heritage. But why have I not seen this in any of our history books? How do we condemn racial discrimination in Nazi Germany while implementing a similar system of discrimination on our own soil? All of this meant that to a certain extent, I only understood internment as an abstraction, and my objections and horror, too, felt abstract.

It is one thing to read about the conditions in Camp Manzanar, but another to actually see them. As we entered the exhibit center, I felt the immediate call to be respectful. An incredibly compelling part of the tour was within the tour guide himself; his family was incarcerated at Camp Manzanar and he stayed there most of his childhood. He was so emotionally attached to the exhibit that I stole a glance at a few tears shed when we watched sensitive videos of inhuman prejudice and misery in the camp. In the exhibit, each display felt like a carefully calibrated blow to the stomach. One of the first things you see when you enter the hall’s doors is an enormous black-and-white photo from the era, dominated by a banner printed: “JAPS KEEP MOVING—THIS IS A WHITE MAN’S NEIGHBORHOOD”

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These cold words accentuate the unfortunate and racist reality that Japanese Americans endured at that time, yet I feel that the raw, harsh truth is integral to our understanding of the past as well as our influence on the world. It is only when we are armed with the truth and consequences of the past that we can learn from and avoid such atrocities in the future.

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Of the Japanese internees who were incarcerated in concentration camps, over half of them were children. The images of children were the part of the exhibit that resonated the most within me. Young children. Teenage children. Sick children. Healthy children. Children like me—dark haired, black-eyed, yellow-skinned—were trapped in a world of fear, clinging onto the barbed wire as if grasping for the last bit of hope and freedom. The black and white photos accurately depicted their colorless lives. They stared straight into my eyes, conveying a sense of helplessness towards me as I stared back with the same helpless expression.

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I eventually walked to different parts of the camp. A sea of thick scrub bush overtook what used to be rows and rows of barracks as if the desert wanted to conceal what had happened. As my feet pressed into the sandy ground, I thought about how many others were standing right where I was and how many footprints had been buried away by the passage of time. As I brushed the dust off the remnants of the barracks, I imagined the Japanese people waking up coated in the same layer of dust. I imagined internees walking out of their cabin and seeing the guard tower—a daily reminder that they were still not free.

Yet, amidst such miserable conditions, the Japanese internees never lost hope. They constructed a Bonsai garden to maintain hope and a semblance of normal life in the face of its exact opposite. The garden represents a place where Japanese internees can escape the suffering and misery of the camp and momentarily enjoy the beauty they longed for. I was particularly intrigued not by the external beauty of the garden, but by the garden’s underlying values of hope and strength that the Japanese internees held in their hearts. For the Japanese internees, the garden was as a method of silent protest. It was their way of communicating to the public that they simply wanted a better life.

THERE, I STOOD AT THE VERY GATE WHERE THOUSANDS OF JAPANESE AMERICAN CITIZENS HAD ONCE TAKEN THEIR LAST BREATH OF FREEDOM.” We may never completely understand the extent of injustice the Japanese citizens endured, or compensate for the injustice they suffered, but what we can do is to prevent this act from ever happening again in the future. Although it has been 70 years since the end of World War II, the camps still leave their mark on its survivors, who say it’s as vital as ever to learn from the past and educate people across the country about this dark chapter of American history. While our legacy of liberating the anguished of the world ought to be remembered, celebrated, and honored, we need to reflect on our own contribution to humanity’s suffering and learn from it. We must accept that the

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Japanese incarceration has been and always will be part of our history.

To deny our own wrongdoings is not only disingenuous, but also stunts our ability to address the root of the problem. We cannot accuse other wrongdoers without acknowledging our own complicity. Otherwise, the denial of our racist past is its own form of racism, since it is cloaked in a false sense of righteousness.

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Next, we need to ask ourselves this question: How does discrimination manifest itself in our society today? Gay and lesbian partnerships are widely accepted in our society, yet they are still viewed as ‘inferior’ and ‘unclean’ by some. The freedom of religion is one of our core constitutional values as American citizens, yet Muslims are often discriminated because they are wrongly associated with terrorists.

Thus, it is the responsibility for the new generation of people—kids like me and my classmates—to uphold the values of tolerance and acceptance so that we can preserve the legacies of the incarcerated Japanese citizens. It is only when we understand the voices of past victims and raise our own voices to fight for them that we can pave the way to a brighter future and a better world.

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The remnants of Camp Manzanar continue to be buried away by the sand, standing motionless in remote silence. What we cannot keep buried away or silent about, however, are the racial and social injustices present in our society today. Camp Manzanar not only teaches us about the past, but also guides and inspires us—the future generations— to make a change so that our voices will not be buried away, but perpetuated.

It is only when we are armed with the truth and consequences of the past that we can learn from and avoid such atrocities in the future.

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“Memorial in Manzanar” - Kane Xu, ‘21 - Photography (Modified)

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T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

balancing nationalism and patriotism

by Kevin Wang,‘21

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a system that lists the necessities of human life in order of importance. Besides theorizing the basic physiological and safety needs such as food, shelter, and health, Maslow proposed that social belonging is the most crucial element of human existence. He recognized that being a part of a group is an natural desire that is necessary for psychological health.

It is this sense of social belonging that gives purpose to life. Working as a part of a group gives meaning and significance to a person’s achievements and guides their dreams and aspirations to benefit those they care about. At the very root of human motivation is the desire to protect one’s own family. Moving further away, we feel a devotion towards the well-being of our friends, coworkers, and company. On a much larger scale, however, people are also driven by their sense of national identity. They crave the satisfaction and purpose of working for their own nation, knowing that their societal duties and loyalties lie with a certain country. Nationality is a key part of a everyone’s identity, defining who they work for and where their loyalty lies.

While nationality was once a definite and straightforward trait based on one’s country of origin, the modern era brought a new wave of people with blurred national identities. I, for instance, could never relate to the patriotic zeal of many American citizens. My parents are both Chinese immigrants who came to Canada, where I was born. I was raised like a Canadian, immersed in Canadian hobbies and traditions. Just as I was approaching an age where my Canadian identity became clear, my parents’ work demanded that we move to America. My Canadian national identity, once something concrete and predictable, was stripped away, and I could no longer identify myself with my birthplace. I cannot say that I am Chinese, since my only connections with China are through my parents. I would not say that I am a true American either, given that I was not raised here, nor have I made any emotional connections with this country. I would love to call myself a Canadian, but even that would be a stretch, given the fact that I left my hometown and childhood friends over five years ago.

For this reason, I believe that I have no true national identity. For the past four years, I’ve begun every school day pledging my allegiance to the United States of America, which I find immensely ironic given the fact that I’ve spent the same amount of time singing the Canadian national anthem every morning. More importantly, I’ve realized that I cannot identify myself with a certain society. My aspirations and achievements are not working as a part of a nation, and they lack the purpose of contributing to a larger society.

This lack of greater importance is not only upsetting to the individual, but can affect nations as a whole. Nineteenth century Italy, for example, showed great progress through nationalistic movements as leaders appealed to a national identity to unite the Italian states under one government. Soon after, the country lost its nationalistic zeal as people began disregarding their love for their country and prioritizing personal gain, leading to countless conflicts ranging from social protests to economic difficulties. It’s no surprise that a nation

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“Peace” - Angela Chen, ‘19 - Watercolor

functions off of the people’s attitudes, and that progress is multiplied when the individual values his greater responsibilities as a citizen.

Ultimately, Italy demonstrates a possible consequence for the lack of patriotism, and how it can hinder the success of the group.

On the other hand, there are countless examples of the evil side of nationalism. Patterns throughout history exemplify how vulnerable nationalism is to exploitation. The Holocaust, arguably the most evil and hateful movement of history, was fueled by an extreme, hate ridden case of nationalism. Hitler and the Nazi party scapegoated Jews, exploiting the anti-semitic nature of twentieth century German nationalism and the people’s desire to improve their nation’s prestige in order to gain support. Nationalism is powerful enough to overtake a person’s basic sense of morality, completely blinding them from common reason. When the undivided loyalty of the people is entrusted to the nation, the government’s power grows to a dangerously high level, and history shows that nothing good can come out of an overpowered government.

There is an important distinction between patriotism and nationalism.

Patriotism refers to the love and pride for your country, having the respect to work towards its success. Nationalism, however, oftentimes

leads to a narrowed perception of the world, where competition is key and your nation deserves your loyalty, regardless of the moral implications. I may not consider myself a part of Canadian society, but I will always love that country for shaping who I am today. I don’t call myself an American, yet I am eternally grateful for the opportunities that this country has provided me. I may find social belonging within my family and friends, but the success and progress of my countries are always in the back of my head. A country shouldn’t expect a mindless group of nationalist zombies that will do anything at the government’s will, but the citizens should maintain positive intentions for the wellbeing of their state.

I am not completely opposed to my personal lack of national identity.

At times, I am even grateful, since my apathetic attitude towards national loyalty has proven to be beneficial. My perception of the world is widened, as I am not limited to promoting and defending a single culture of one nation. My opinions are formed from my own set of values and ethics, rather than the widely accepted or promoted beliefs of the people around me. I may not have an obligation to a certain country, but that gives me the unconfined freedom to serve the entire human population, pledging my allegiance to the wellbeing of mankind.

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bread and butter

“Sugar Rush” Allen Chen, ‘21 Digital

by Phoenix Dimagiba, ‘20

“Little

As much as I enjoy both bread and butter (together and separate), they aren’t this article’s focus. Oops.

Instead, I’ll be pondering the intricacies of the one true nutrition-bestower: food. This is something I genuinely believe I’m (not so uniquely) qualified to talk about. Coincidentally enough, this is also a topic you should find extremely familiar, since I think it’s a logical conclusion that you, too eat every once in a while. Food’s your best friend through thick and thin: it’s there for you at the end of a long school day, after a hard practice, and even during a hard breakup (not that I’d know). It deserves a little consideration every once in a while. As always, accept my personal musings with a molecule of NaCl. Everyone is unique, or so I’m told. Traditionally, this refers to the big-picture concepts: your body, your mind, your biases, your temperament, your personality, etc. It’s my opinion that food choice/preference should be up there too; after all, nobody likes the exact same food at every point in time. Upbringing is a major factor in preference: if you have a happy childhood, you’ll probably associate positive memories with a certain type of food. Similarly, you’ll get used to culture-specific cuisine if that’s what you’re raised on. Personally, I’m fairly open to most types of food, though there’s a special place in my heart for sweets (especially baked goods) and I’ll never turn down a good bowl of ramen or a considerable serving of fried chicken.

My philosophy is that repetition in excess is disagreeable (in certain situations, of course, no need to get into semantics). Following this train of thought, I think it’s nonoptimal to get stuck in a food rut: to eat the same things forever and ever more. While there may be dietary merit to repetitive eating, “variety is the spice of life.” I’m lucky enough to have parents that appreciate the culinary arts and always feed me well.

Lastly, food is the one thing all of humanity has in common. Sure, language breaks down cultural barriers, but there are many languages to choose from. Food is universal, all-encompassing, the most basic of human art forms. Breaking the proverbial and literal bread may not be enough to resolve some odd conflict, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction. If a good meal can lighten the mood and free up the atmosphere around longtime friends, what could it do for sworn enemies? The world would be a better place if everyone ate well—though maybe that’s just my stomach talking. . .

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A/N: I’d be remiss to write an article about food and not recommend a few places to eat around San Diego. To save time, I’ll list off a few in no particular order: CUCINA urbana (contemporary Italian) BO-beau (comfort French) Ironside Fish & Oyster Bar (seafood) The Crack Shack (gourmet fried chicken) Vintana Wine + Dine (higher-end American) Rakiraki Ramen & Tsukemen, Menya Ultra, Isshido Ramen (ramen + chicken karaage) I mentioned earlier that I’ve got a soft spot for ramen and karaage, but it’s not just me; if you don’t take my word for it, trust a Featheralist officer and a teacher too. . .

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“Little Squirt” - Daisy Ye,‘20 - Photo (Digitized)

that little blue water PISTOL

by Skyler Wu, ‘20 On my nightstand rests an extremely dangerous weapon—a gun, no less. It boasts a baby-blue, polycarbonate construction with a handle wrapped in layers of silver duct tape to conceal its many jagged cracks.

It carries a high-capacity magazine, capable of 50 shots before needing a reload. But this gun has an asking price of only 50 cents and is sold in packs of 6. Oh, and it shoots water. It’s a water pistol.

But that 50-cent firearm, with its rickety plastic construction and master duct tape gunsmithing, is my most valuable possession. More valuable than my phone or my laptop, that little blue water pistol represents what could have been 15 years of being an American boy and playing army and cowboy. But for the first 15 years of my life, I was barred from having a toy gun to call my own. Now, I go to bed each night with that little blue pistol on my nightstand, armed with the futile hope that maybe, just maybe, I could recover some of my childhood each night by being in its proximity.

As a young child, I lived with my grandparents in the People’s Republic of China. I recall the days of coming home from preschool on the back of my grandpa’s Vespa. I would bumble as speedily as my chubby legs would allow onto the dusty, threadbare loveseat to catch the last precious minutes of the SpongeBob episode blaring on the television set. But the most interesting programming was what followed—guns, explosions, and lots of guns. The entire country was celebrating the 60th anniversary of our victory over the Japanese imperialists during World War II. All state-owned TV channels (including children’s cartoon channels) were mandated to broadcast anti-Japanese war films at specific hours of the day. Because China did not have a content rating system at the time, that bloody content was deemed appropriate for everybody, even a four-year-old like me.

As the SpongeBob credits began to roll, my grandparents would join me at the couch, clacking their chopsticks on bowls of porridge while together we would stare engrossed at the flashes emanating from the

screen. The plot of those 3:30 war films was essentially the same: a group of ghastly Japanese soldiers would march into a peaceful Chinese village, burn down the houses, rape the village women, and machine-gun the men and children. Then the nearby Chinese soldiers would charge down the mountain, shouting slogans like “drive the rapists back to Japan.” Of course, the Chinese soldiers would encounter the Japanese “monsters” just as the Japanese were leaving the burning village, and we would see a great battle ensue. The Chinese soldiers would charge into the fray, beheading the Japanese “rapists” with red-tasseled dadao (broadswords) while screaming curses like “go find your Japanese dog mothers in hell.” Afterward, the victorious Chinese soldiers would corral the remaining Japanese into a cottage and pop a grenade, resulting in Japanese blood and guts splattered on the television screen. Finally, the episode would end with some patriotic song. For the entirety of my early childhood, I was exposed to extremely graphic and dehumanizing propaganda that would have made Hacksaw Ridge or Saving Private Ryan look like children’s cartoons.

Like the millions of Chinese toddlers who remained at their TVs after SpongeBob, I was taught to embrace violence against the Japanese invaders and, by proxy, violence in general. I never once questioned the bayonetting or machine-gunning. As the episodes rolled on each day, I subconsciously began to justify violence. I was indoctrinated to believe that violence was admirable when slaughtering the Japanese “monsters.” Violence was heroic when it supposedly led to the rescue of raped villagers from the clutches of the evil Japanese.

I perceived the soldiers’ battlefield cries as so admirable and heroic that I began infusing similar language into my own four-year-old conversations. Grandma, I’m going to slaughter this test. Grandpa, I’m going to blow up that speech contest. And my grandparents, engrossed with the TV screen, would just smile and nod their heads and continue clacking their chopsticks against their porridge bowls. They grew up with enemy planes and bombs roaring over their heads; these words were nothing to them.

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“Child’s Play” - Phoenix Dimagiba, ‘20 - Photo (Digitized)

While my violent rhetoric went unnoticed in China, it was unwelcome, to say the least, when I moved to the US in 2006. Instantly, I sensed that I did not fit in with the American children. This was not very surprising given that I did not know any English except for “OK,” a slang term we Chinese kids used to act cool. In my first classroom stateside, I was corralled into a corner by the other children and mocked for not speaking English. But their jeering was trivial compared to my mother’s response to their actions that night in our one-bedroom apartment. Instead of comforting me, my mother blamed me for not knowing English. She insisted that it was my fault for being weak. I was shocked. My own mother’s betrayal hit me a thousand times harder than those brats’ words at school. I was the innocent one being mocked and jeered, and she was blaming me?

Instinctively, I exploded into that war-film soldier rhetoric: Fine, I am going to blow up English (translation: I was going to learn it better than the American kids). I am going to slaughter the American kids in everything (translation: I would score higher than the American kids in every subject). Those words rolled so naturally off my tongue that my mother was horrified: Where did my son learn this? Why was he so intent on destruction? No American child growing up on Barney and Sesame Street was capable of this language. But this rhetoric came naturally to Chinese kids like me who had grown up watching soldiers decapitate each other. But my mother was still in shock: What am I going to do with an evil child like you?You are going to cause so much destruction to society. I am scared for your future. The violence from those war films, seeping into my everyday lexicon, led to my being misunderstood by even my closest family.

That day onward, my mother made it her mission to restrain me from anything that was remotely violent in the attempt to cast away that evil demon within me. She would constantly remind me that I was an evil child and a threat to society if left unrestrained. At the same time, however, she continued to berate me for not toughening up to the bullying and insults from my classmates. It was my fault that an American kid snapped a pen that I lent him (I should have watched him use it). It was my fault that the older students would intentionally aim for my head in dodgeball (I should have dodged). I asked my mother, Why can’t I just fight back? If it’s my fault that I’m being bullied, if I hit them, then it’s their fault, right? Of course, the response was, Son, if you fight back, I will punish you double at home. There was nothing I could do. If I fought back, my mother would ground me for months. If I didn’t fight back, they would just continue to belittle and bully me. I was being attacked from both sides and had no choice but to retreat into my own little world of Chinese war films. In that world, I became the heroic Chinese officer rallying my troops against the bullies at school.

After trudging home each day, I would vent to my mom, I’m going to

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destroy them, carpet bomb them, and massacre them. I naively believed that this war-themed language would allow me to release my pent-up frustration without rousing my mother’s anger. I never once laid a finger on any of those classroom bullies. At school, I abandoned my physical body for them to steal from, mock, and beat up. But at home, I attempted to heal myself through that war-film rhetoric. Words like “destroy” and “carpet bomb” gave me dark strength. By likening those bullies to the Japanese “monsters,” I justified my anger, framed myself as a heroic martyr, and bolstered my resilience against their words and fists. I never would have dreamed of actually hurting my classmates.

But to my mother, my words were not symptoms of frustration, but rather irrefutable evidence that I was an evil child. And I was so incessantly reminded of her conclusion that it became ingrained in my soul. Son, you are going to destroy the world. How many 2nd graders know what carpet bombing is? Why can’t you be like them? Why can’t you just be normal?

By 4th grade, my English had advanced enough for me to be invited to a few playdates and birthday parties. At my friend Andrew’s 9th birthday party, his parents had just come back from Target with a bag full of Nerf guns and orange foam ammunition. We all clamored to be the first to get our hands on those magical pieces of plastic. Those Nerf guns transformed me into Chinese martyr Dong Cheng-rui hip-firing his machine-gun at the Japanese invaders. The same guns transformed my American friends into elite clone troopers blasting away at the evil battle droids. Despite our different upbringings, we were all nine-year-old boys who just wanted to play with our guns. Andrew divided us into two squads to play army. The rules were simple: the two teams would shoot at each other until one team had all been hit.

Three, two, one, go! All of us started blasting maniacally. I wasn’t intent on killing anybody; we were all just having fun. But as we started to get hyped up, the boys on both sides started to engage in some familiar-sounding rhetoric. I’m totally going to kill you! Come on, team, let’s go blow them up! Let’s go slaughter Andrew’s team! Fat chance! We’re going to slaughter you guys first! I don’t recall who won, but I do remember our joy as we trudged back to the house, our shirts seeped with sweat, our lungs gasping for breath, and our faces adorned with gigantic grins. No one felt in danger or was hurt. But I remember thinking to myself on the ride home, My friends used the same language as I did during the Nerf battle. My own mother called me a monster for using words like “slaughter” and “blow up.”Were they also evil? Are they also going to destroy the world? Are we all evil? I did not dwell on those thoughts for too long; that ice-cream cake did a darn good job at putting me to sleep.

The next day I begged my mother, Mommy, Andrew’s Nerf guns were sooo fun! Can I get one too? My mother placed her hands on my shoulder and sighed, her face shadowed with guilt, shame, and sorrow: Son, if I let you play with guns, you will only become more evil. I don’t want you to become

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a school shooter or a terrorist.You are a very smart boy, but also a very evil boy.

You are the type of person that God regrets making. I cannot buy you a Nerf gun. At this age, I was old enough to comprehend the severity of those words. Me, a terrorist? Me, shooting up a school? Me, being undesirable even to God? But what did I do differently? I replied, tears welling in my eyes: Mommy, I know you think I am evil because of my words, but the other boys said the same things yesterday. I’m sorry, Mommy. I won’t use those words in the future. Andrew was using those words, too. Mommy, I’m not evil.

My mother replied, Son, you are different from the other kids. They are just trying to have fun, but even Deacon Ron from church told me that you have a form of evil energy in you.You have the potential to become someone very dangerous. No deal. Never. Just like a felon barred from owning a firearm, I was barred from ever owning a Nerf gun or even a water gun.

From that day forward. I was confronted with the full reality of my evil child indictment. When Andrew graciously invited me over for more playdates, I would capitalize on those precious hours to touch those Nerf guns—not fire them, just touch them. As we grew older, we grew out of playing army and into texting and Snapchatting. But I never really grew out of those Nerf guns. I did not have enough time with them to get bored. I am 16 years old now, but that childhood desire still lingers, hoping to be satisfied one day.

Then came December 14, 2012. Sandy Hook—the worst school shooting in American history—was the first that I was old enough to remember. That evening, my mom and I were watching CNN replay the traumatizing footage of students my age dying on stretchers and their families grieving in shock. A panel of psychologists discussed the shooter’s possible motives: bad childhood, bullying, anger management. I thought to myself, Wait a minute, these are all aspects of my own life. At that moment, my mom looked me in the eye: Son, this is why Mommy can't buy you a Nerf gun. People are going to die because of you. Was I going to become a school shooter just like my mother had lamented for years?

Those ghastly images confronted me with the severity of my existence.

I was evil, just like Adam Lanza, the shooter. I was fated to take life from innocent children.

And fate chose to arm me. Last June, my Science Olympiad head coach brought a pack of water pistols—party favors, no more than fifty cents apiece—to our end-of-year banquet. The rest of the team just rolled their eyes, but nonetheless we each filled up a water pistol and tried to drench each other in the California summer sun. When I noticed my mother pulling into the parking lot to pick me up, I knew my time was up: I had to return my blue water pistol to the head coach. But he simply laughed, It’s just fifty cents. Keep it. It’s yours. I was astounded. This was the first firearm toy that I could actually call my own. At age 16, I had been presented a gift that most 6 year olds would have sneered at.

Anticipating my mother, I hastily stuffed the water pistol deep inside my bag, undetected for the time being.

I poured my heart into that little blue water pistol. Every day after homework, I would go fill and empty it against the shower curtain.

Before I turned my night-light off, I would fill and empty it once more out my bedside window, gingerly placing it on my nightstand before I drifted to sleep. A sixteen-year-old playing with a little blue water pistol. What a joke! But to me, that little water pistol represented a childhood that had eluded me my entire life. I didn’t care that it was only worth fifty cents. I just cared that after 16 years of growing up as a boy and being misunderstood and called evil and a monster, I was finally able to hold my own water gun in my hand.

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One morning, I woke up to my pistol missing from its post on my nightstand. My heart sank. I tried deluding myself into believing that it must have fallen under my bed, but knowing better I trudged downstairs to the dumpster. And there it was, that little blue water pistol at the bottom of the dumpster, a jagged crack splitting down its handle.

Needless to say, I dug through the oily scraps and putrid fish bones to retrieve my damaged treasure. I raced upstairs, rinsed it in the bathroom, caringly nursed the handle with copious silver duct tape, and placed my little pistol back on my nightstand before heading to school.

That night, my mother saw the water pistol again, but she did not utter a word. Perhaps she had given up. Perhaps it was because the pistol couldn’t shoot anymore. But I had no intention of firing it; I just yearned for a tiny piece of my stolen childhood.

Perhaps my mother’s silence was the harbinger of a new understanding. Perhaps time had worked its unique magic and stitched up the wounds. Weeks later, my mother and I reconciled after a long night of cathartic tears and liberating confessions. I was finally able to comprehend her plight as a single mother juggling a full-time job and my upbringing in an alien, potentially hostile new world where danger seemed to lurk on every corner. My mother also came to understand that my violent rhetoric was not indicative of evil but of frustration stemming from an unfamiliar environment. We embraced, consolidating our reconciliation with an unprecedentedly late-night, 10:00 PM trip to Target, returning home with a shiny white Nerf gun.

Today, that duct-taped, baby-blue water pistol still sits on my nightstand, now accompanied by its new best friend, the white Nerf pistol. Together, they watch over and comfort me, imbuing me with the strength to move beyond my past. But I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night and cradling them both in my arms. And I ask them, am I really evil? There is only silence.

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T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

u a

A in ju o k

“Our lives become consumed by the illusions that people force feed us on social media and we fall for them.”

T in jo in t a e a s w s t f b b r m a m in

W f a o m p is c d b

a breath of

fresh air

by Ashley Asadi, ‘19

Getting a smartphone is considered a rite of passage in our lives, and I was filled to the max with happiness when I reached this fundamental stage of development. In 6th grade, I retired from my New-York-business-man-in-the-2000s BlackBerry phone (the really cool one with the slidey keypad) and was promoted to an iPhone. I finally fit in with all my friends and became the proud owner of my own personalized phone! How cool! The world was at my fingertips and I felt almost vulnerable with the amount of power in my hands. Instead of using the potentially inspiring and powerful features my phone offered, I took about 30 pictures of my dog, high on excitement that MY phone had a camera for ME! Taking another step to become the spitting image of my friends also meant downloading Instagram and Kik and Facebook and Snapchat to create a world separate from my reality. What started out innocent eventually became a vicious cycle of self loathing and jealousy as I started following more and more people that presented a lifestyle I felt I would never achieve. I became the idealized version of 27

“Notification Off ” - Allen Chen, ‘21 - Digital myself on Instagram, only posting the pictures that made my body look smaller or my skin look smoother. At every outing, I would take pictures of myself with other people to create the illusion that I was not alone. I hid the side of myself that I hated from the rest of the world, fearing that they would judge me as harshly as I judged myself.

Social media was a fleeting moment of seeing a perfect form of myself, the form that was loved by so many people.

February of 2018, I fatally (and finally) dropped my iPhone and watched the screen glitch; it was irreparable. I surprisingly didn’t even cry or panic because possibly deep down I felt some satisfaction with having no outlet to engage in the self loathing I perfected over the years. Fast forward a week later, and I walked out of Cricket with the Alcatel Go Flip, a sturdy flip phone with a number keypad (not even a slidey keypad like my old BlackBerry) that became the subject of wonder amongst others. How dare I, in this generation where we grow

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Adapting to my new situation was difficult at first and I thought the inconvenience of not having the world at my fingertips was worse than just going back to what I had before. Yet, I wasn’t about to blow $800 on a new iPhone and $10 a month sounded too good to pass up, so I kept my flip phone.

The problems and insecurities I drowned temporarily by losing myself in my phone resurfaced after years of suppression. When going jogging, I ran in silence and was forced to be there every moment instead of drowning my thoughts with music. I used my jogs as a time to assess what was gnawing at me for all these years. I was insecure about my skin that was not as smooth and crystal clear as everyone else’s. I was sad that my friends, who I perceived as prettier than me, always got checked out when we went in public and I was just the sidekick. I was angry that my parents didn’t get along like the typical white-picket-fence middle class family and family outings were too stressful to endure. Mostly, I was unhappy with myself for not having the courage to speak up for myself and do the things I want. I felt some force push me to be the good student that my parents wanted me to be or to be the conforming pushover that everyone else wanted me to be. When I was drowning in the obsessions of social media I didn’t realize how many problems I left unsolved because I became a mastermind of running away from my issues. Making an abrupt transition to a device that only does what a phone is meant to do (call and text) gave me a lot more free time to analyze what is missing in my life and introduce new hobbies and passions that could create a fulfilling life.

With all the time on my hands, I picked up healthy eating, music, and film. As archaic as it sounds, I never once found myself zooming in and analyzing other people’s lives to compare to my own. I was living in my own moment, not over analyzing others to ensure that I met the minimum threshold to be accepted by whatever standards were laid in place. I realized how much I missed the physical world, the world that is just as real as how it's presented. I felt powerful and, for once, in control of myself for refusing to let the facade of social media ruin my day. It didn’t matter who went where or who has this many fun friends because I was doing the things that made my life fulfilling.

A few months after I got my flip phone I was patiently sitting in front of the Mira Mesa movie theater, waiting for a friend to show up. I reached for my phone to temporarily numb myself with mindless scrolling and an endless stream of superficial information, but I suddenly realized social media no longer exists on the phone I have now. I looked around at other people and they all appeared like robots, heads pulled down into a phone, absorbing information they seemingly cannot live without. It occured to me that I’m separated by a thin blanket from those people that live life from a third perspective by watching things occur versus being what occurs. It reminds me of how miniscule I felt using social media, watching the world unfold on a tiny screen while I sat there and did nothing to be a part of it. I would compare my dull life to some international model that spent every weekend in another country, finding myself in a dangerous cycle because I did nothing to enrich my life and soon enough I would just find another person to make me feel worse about myself.

The irony is that just as more profiles seem to pop up of really pretty people having really fun lives, the depression rate in adolescents has increased 63% since 2013 (Newport Academy). It’s no coincidence

that the generation raised by a world documented online is the very generation that suffers the most from body dysmorphia, drug and alcohol addiction, major depression, and suicidal thoughts. We begin to find gratification in the comments that tell us how pretty we look in a photo rather than truly believing we are beautiful, thus growing a dependence on the temporary spurts of euphoria we get from social media. The appearance of individuals we watch through a screen traps us in a sinister mindset because we compare the glam and appearance of their lives to the reality of ours. Our lives become consumed by the illusions that people force feed us on social media and we fall for them.

Along with descending into the illusions, we contribute to the vicious cycle by presenting our fake selves for others to get jealous over.

Breaking the cycle means no longer lying to others and especially ourselves. Building our confidence that has been shattered by years of social media is an extremely powerful way for us to cease the ascending depression and suicide rates in our generation.

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up surrounded and wired by technology, take a step back into the old ages?!

When I was drowning in the obsessions of social media I didn’t realize how many problems I left unsolved because I became a mastermind of running away from my issues.

I’m not asking everyone to chuck their phones over a cliff. Instead, we can all take the first step towards ending our involvement with toxic social media by reflecting on how social media might be pulling us away from attaining life satisfaction. Becoming aware of that hindrance and taking steps to live in reality rather than a simulation of reality is powerful in itself. The world outside is so beautiful and so many little occurrences happen in the day that go unappreciated because everyone’s attention is trapped in a little screen. Taking just 10 minutes a day to turn off your phone and turn on your senses to the world is a breath of fresh air. The world becomes vibrant, colorful, exuberant, authentic, warm, and inviting. The day moves and takes you along with it and you fall in love with every atom that makes up everything in the whole universe in front of you. The world becomes brighter after you’ve perceived it as dark for so long. It’s not too late for any of us to unplug.

We have such a wonderful world in front of us filled with amazing people with lovely smiles and large trees and long rivers scattered on our beautiful planet, but we have to unplug ourselves from the darkness of technology addiction if we want to plug ourselves into a world that has so much to offer.

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C w in c a a o

M u a b b c t A e a c w t l g m o E

by Andrew Wang, ‘20

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“Milk and Cookies” - Colin Szeto, ‘21 - Digital

In the Internet age, technology has become an inseparable presence in our lives. From waking up to our phone’s alarm to reading tweets before going to bed, we are glued to the screens of our phones and computers. The growth of internet use in just the last few decades has been incredible: from a meager 16 million users in 1995, the internet is now used by 4.2 billion people worldwide (“Internet Growth Statistics”).

But ultimately, one of the biggest reasons the internet has grown so much is because of the convenience it offers. Why wait days for a package when Amazon can deliver it in hours? Why go to a library to check out a book when you can search up the digital version online? To the average end user, the internet is a wonderful place where everything can be solved in a few clicks. But what do we give up in exchange for this convenience?

Of course, such growth is not entirely unexpected. The internet provides a plethora of unique services that allow us to interact with information and other human beings in ways we could never have imagined. Search engines and online encyclopedias like Google and Wikipedia put vast troves of information at the fingertips of anyone who can move a mouse and type on a keyboard. School age children are “sending streaks” to friends on Snapchat and watching their favorite vloggers on YouTube in their free time. Even mundane tasks like turning on lights and setting alarms can now be done by home assistants like Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home.

People often joke about the NSA monitoring our every move online, and while there’s a low chance a man in a black suit is watching us from behind our camera, the reality is closer than you might think. When you surf the web, you may have noticed that websites often have pop-ups or prompts that tell you that by visiting that site, you accept their privacy/cookie policy. Most of the time you instantly click “accept” without a second thought, but what does clicking that button actually do? In short, you give consent for the website to collect your data in the form of cookies. But before you pick up your pitchforks, rest assured, the data you give is less significant than you might think.

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Most large companies, including Microsoft, Apple, and Amazon, keep unimaginable quantities of consumer data in databases for future analytical use. This consumer data has always been used for analytics, but in recent years artificial intelligence and machine learning have been increasingly employed to identify market trends and predict customer behaviors. Hollywood has always dramaticized AI as a technology that will inevitably overthrow human society, but in reality AI presents more practical benefits to consumers than risks. Computers are much faster at processing information than humans can, and AI allows us to process information even faster. People complain that companies have access to so much of our data, but this same data is what companies use alongside AI to develop new products and features that improve our quality of life. Projects like IBM’s Watson and Google’s DeepMind started off small, processing smaller datasets to play games like chess and Go (Sample). But now they are involved in much more important projects like predicting the 3-dimensional structure of proteins and even helping with climate change research (Sample; ETF Trends).

... ultimately, one of the biggest reasons the internet has grown so much is because of the convenience it offers. Why wait days for a package when Amazon can deliver it in hours? Why go to a library to check out a book when you can search up the digital version online?

However, one concern you might have with companies holding so much data is information security. Companies have a responsibility to respect their customer’s data and keep it safe. Rest assured, these companies hire the best professionals in the nation to keep your data safe, and implement technologies like encryption and secure network design to make things harder for hackers. But sometimes even the best defenses are not completely impregnable. Just in the past few years, international opponents have contributed to major data breaches that affected people nationwide. In late 2016, Yahoo announced that it had failed to report two password leaks that affected all 3 billion of its accounts (“Yahoo to Pay $50 Million, Offer Credit Monitoring for Massive Security Breach”). In 2017, Equifax reported a breach that leaked critical personal information such as names, addresses, and social security numbers (Symanovich). In total, over 143 million consumers were affected, and although it had less victims than the Yahoo breach, the information leaked was much more valuable and dangerous. Although users were not responsible for the breaches themselves, they were partially responsible for why the breaches were so dangerous. In many such breaches, common issues are easily fixable problems like short passwords and insecure password recovery methods.

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Cookies are strings of text that store information about your current web-surfing session so that the next time you view that site, some information from last time will be saved. Each little cookie doesn’t contribute a lot of data, but there’s other information websites collect as well (“What are cookies?”). Information like your IP address (think about it like your computer’s location on the web), date and location of access, and behavioral trends can all be tracked via simple scripts.

However, these breaches are also great opportunities to promote cybersecurity to the general public. In the wake of several large security breaches, Troy Hunt created a website called haveibeenpwned.com that monitors data breaches and tells users which sites they have leaked data on. Currently the website is storing data on over 6,931,949,148 hacked accounts, and the amount grows with each passing day (“Have I Been Pwned”). Password managers like LastPass and Dashlane are also becoming more popular, allowing users to avoid simple and reused passwords across the sites they use each day.

Overall, the moral of the story is that while we give up some privacy in allowing companies to collect our data, that same data is being used to create the goods and services that we depend on. But on the other hand, we also need to be proactive about protecting our data as well.

Technology as we know it is constantly changing, and we need to be ready to adapt with it in order to ensure a brighter, more secure future.

To the average end user, the internet is a wonderful place where everything can be solved in a few clicks. But what do we give up in exchange for this convenience?

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T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

what’s going on with

major league baseball’s offseason?

by Joseph Li,‘20

Graphic Courtesy of MLB As the World Series ends after putting fans across the country on their feet, the baseball world awaits the next great question. Where will all the major free agents sign, especially those who have the ability to change the entire vision of a franchise?

From November to when players begin reporting to Spring Training the following February, fans anxiously await what their team has done to improve their rosters. Contract negotiations begin, and players slowly get plucked off the market.

From the beginning of MLB in 1874 to 2016, the highest salary has risen from $2,600 to $33,000,000 (Haupert). According to Forbes, since 1967, the beginning of the 1st Collective Bargaining Agreement, to 2015, the average salary has increased from $19,000 to $3,952,252 with the average salary increasing 20,700% (2,832% after inflation).

It's no question that players have continuously gotten paid more, and it seems reasonable to say that they would continue to ask for more.

However, especially in the last two offseasons, both players’ desire for more money and owners’ lack of desire to negotiate have brought free agency to a standstill.

Beginning in the 2017-2018 MLB offseason, free agency has been notorious for moving at a snail’s pace, with big-name free agents such as Lorenzo Cain, Yu Darvish, Todd Frazier, Eric Hosmer, and JD Martinez all signed on January 16, 2018, or later (Baseball Reference).

In a historically deep free agent class in the offseason of 2018-2019 with young, generational talents like Bryce Harper and Manny Machado hitting the market, the pace hasn’t improved. Machado didn’t sign until February 21, 2019, with teams already in Spring Training, while Bryce Harper didn’t put the pen to paper until March 2nd. Other star players, including Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel also remain unsigned less than two weeks before the start of the regular season.

According to Baseball Reference, when J.D. Martinez was a free agent in 2017-2018, he was coming off a 4.2 WAR (Wins Above Replacement) where he hit 45 home runs. In the same free agency period, Eric Hosmer came off a year where he hit .318 and was worth 4.1 WAR. Impact players’ value to a team are unquestioned. Then what do players and agents demand that causes negotiations to be so idle?

First of all, one of the biggest issues plaguing players is the require31

ment to accumulate six years of service time before free agent eligibility. Waiting that long before hitting the market hurts players’ chances at their big payday, where many will be over their prime. According to data from The Baseball Cube, the average age of free agents signed since the 2013-2014 offseason was around 33 years old, well above players’ prime age of around 28. Therefore, it naturally occurs that one of the Major League Baseball Players Association’s (MLBPA) demands is lowering the service time requirement, which could allow players a better chance to securing a long-term contract as they enter their prime. This issue should be immediately addressed after the conclusion of the current CBA in 2021 as lowering the service time eligibility allows players to better justify big, long-term deals in their primes.

Another potential reason is that the current system in the MLB encourages “tanking.” In 2018, the Baltimore Orioles, Chicago White Sox, and Kansas City Royals all lost over 100 games, while there was only one 100 game loser between 2013-2017. With the ability to draft higher to pick future superstars, the ability to trade high-caliber players useless on losing teams to contenders for young, talented prospects in the minors, it is evident as to why teams would have a lack of motivation to pursue big free agents to help them win. This can be a successful strategy, as the 2017 World Champion Astros lost 106, 107, 111, and 92 games from 2011-2014, while the 2016 champion Cubs lost 91, 101, and 96 games from 2011-2016. With the lack of motivation to win games, teams would be reluctant to sign players to massive deals when it is clear they aren’t contending. For this reason, there has been a limited amount of interest in elite free agents, which include Bryce Harper and Manny Machado, who are two of the top 15 free agents in the past 25 years, in terms of performance. If these two players aren’t drawing interest from a multitude of teams, who can? If there was a system in the MLB that would limit tanking, like the NBA lottery, there would be more teams and more competition among teams to sign these players. Even if it means a lottery, the end of compensation picks, or performance bonuses, there would be a greater demand for players.

Players, agents, and the MLBPA union argue that owners are unwilling to spend and are underestimating the value of players. Advanced stats have clearly contributed to this, as owners subtly use every advanced sabermetric they can to justify the contracts they are offering. MLB agent Joshua Kusnick asks, "So I have to accept in this offseason that

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“The Big Leagues” Imran Tallman, ‘19 Photography

analytics just took over everybody at the same time?" while additionally stating that "All 30 front offices decided, we've got analytics. We're all going to interpret these data sets the exact same way for the same players that we're all looking at together” (Davis). In an Instagram post

by San Francisco Giants third baseman Evan Longoria, he mentions, “We are less than a month from the start of spring and once again some of our games biggest stars remain unsigned. Such a shame. It seems every day now someone is making up a new analytical tool to devalue players, especially free agents.” In the same post, Longoria also mentions how their money is what “players have worked their whole lives to get to that level and be deserving of. Bottom line, fans should want the best players and product on the field for their team.” MLBPA leader Tony Clark agreed in 2018, arguing, “A record number of talented free agents remain unemployed in an industry where revenues and franchise values are at record highs.” There is truth to this. Forbes national baseball writer Maury Brown notes in 2018, for the 16th straight year, MLB saw record gross revenues, which totaled $10.3 billion. However, data from Spotrac has seen just $600 and $800 million committed to free agents in 2018 and 2019, compared to about $1.8 and $1.2 billion in 2016 and 2017. All in all, owners have enough revenue to pay players if they truly value their game-changing ability, and must open their pockets if they want to reduce tensions between players and owners and prevent a giant strike such as the one in 1994-1995.

“With the lack of motivation to win games, teams would be reluctant to sign players to massive deals when it is clear they aren’t contending.”

B e s t r d k a , s e s e e o f A g f a

Players also realized that with the new CBA, and the risks of long term deals, they have to be reasonable in their demands. As stated in Article XXIII Section B, the 2016 CBA placed a luxury tax threshold for teams, limiting the size of their payroll or else they would be subject to penalties, such as lower draft spots. Despite soaring revenues for teams, players must understand teams are limited in how much they should spend, and must compromise so teams can afford them. Players also must see the risks of major long term contracts on teams.

Committing a large amount of money for a long period of time, like 8 to 10 years, may make a team hampered with the burden of it for a long time, which lowers the ability to acquire other players to help their roster. If the player suddenly busts, which likely will occur towards the latter part of long deals to ages caused for the 6-year free agency requirement the contract will hold the team back for a long time. Albert Pujols’s 10-year, $240 million contract with the Angels in 2012 exemplifies this, as the Angels have been to the playoffs once, while an aging Albert Pujols has put up a WAR of just 1.9 since then, which according to FanGraphs is that of a role player.

g s d B t

Throughout the anger of the fans and the contract duels between agents and owners, the problem of the MLB offseason can evidently be fixed. If each side would cooperate, compromise, and be mindful and acknowledging of the other side, conflicts would decrease, while the excitement and suspense fans feel for the MLB offseason would be rekindled.

32

T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

why therapy dogs work

by Manasvi Vora, ‘20

Dog collage created from photos contributed by Maya Sinha, ‘19, Daisy Ye, ‘20, Imran Tallman, ‘19, and Carolyn Du, ‘18.

From hunting alongside wolves to watching puppies chase each other, from worshipping the egyptian cat goddess Bast to taking videos of cats falling off of chairs, from fearing tales of the megalodon to watching sharks bump into the glass at the aquarium, our lives have been inextricably intertwined with animals. We, as a people, are intrinsically obsessed with animals, to the point where millions of people have pets because it makes them happy.

33

We rely on pets for emotional and social support, meaning that they make us feel less isolated and alone during tough times, even helping us cope with feelings of rejection in our daily lives. Studies show that pet owners are on a whole, happier and healthier both emotionally and physically than those who do not own pets. The actual science behind it is pretty simple. We’ve all got certain neurochemicals that induce happiness — oxytocin, serotonin, and other endorphins — that rise and fall due to external stimuli. When people are with dogs, for example, their oxytocin and serotonin levels go up, those neurotransmitters being released due to the bond people have with their pets. Heart rates go down, blood pressure goes down, the body get better at reacting to stress, and together create a calmer, happier person1. The pet doesn’t even have to be yours — studies show that even spending just five minutes with a dog increases the release of endorphins and dopamines in your brain. Watching a fish tank can decrease your blood pressure. While also allowing you to be relaxed, interacting with pets can decrease the harmful neurochemicals in your blood as well. Spending a little time with an animal has been shown to decrease cortisol, a hormone that influences depression and anxiety, causing heavy decreases in fear/anxiety levels by simply providing their presence. Psychologically, they provide a calming presence, and for some with mental health disorders, owning a pet can create structure in their lives — a sense of responsibility to support a healthy lifestyle. Having a pet can actually create stronger human socialization skills — studies show that pet-owners tend to be more social, have healthier relationships, and feel less lonely altogether2. So yeah, animals make us happy because they helps us feel like we belong.

more in the presence of animals. And then there’s the endorphins that come from interacting with animals. These endorphins provide a serious help for those with depression and anxiety, making people both more comfortable and less isolated overall. Therapy dog or therapy dolphin (yes those exist), the patient is scientifically proven to feel more positive, confident, and continue on with a higher sense of self-esteem2. Dogs, cats, and yes, dolphins, all help different people, and animal assisted therapy has been proven to be extremely helpful over the years, especially psychologically. Therapy animals take the response we give when we interact with them and transform it into a healthy way to treat a disorder.

For us, we’re a little stressed all the time. We’re a little tired all the time. We’re a little worried all the time. and maybe interacting with pets can help us too. Go pet a dog after your finals, go make faces at a cat when you feel down (unless you’re allergic). Go watch a fish bump into things at the aquarium, or watch videos of birds dancing along to songs. I assure you, cat videos make everyone laugh, and if you sit in the park for a little bit, someone’ll be walking their dog. I guarantee you we’d all do good with some more endorphins in our brains and a little bit more happiness in our lives. While we may not benefit from therapy animals per se, we can benefit from having a little more love from a different source in our lives. Lean into that love, lean into that comfortable interaction, and make your life a little better in the process. What can it hurt? We’ve intertwined our lives with animals for a reason, and that reason is happiness. We feel happy in the presence of pets, ours, someone else’s, or the internet’s. The bright side of being human is that we can be stressed and tired and worried, but we can also be happy. We deserve to be happy. Go hug something that loves you. I promise you, it’ll be worth it.

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

We crave companionship, looking out into the wilderness to find the other life we coexist with, and make friends with it. All for what? Well, they make us happy. We as a species love very easily. We attach names to things like Mars rovers and hold them close to our hearts — the same holds true for animals. This love remains an extension of our humanity — our attachment, our compassion for our environment, our capability to say this is fluffy and warm and helpful, and I will love it forever. And they love us back, there’s no doubt about that. Dogs express that love vocally, while cats display the same affection in different ways, rubbing themselves up against us and teaching us to “hunt”. And fish? Well — fish probably love us too. We love them all, and they love us back, fulfilling a symbiotic relationship that, as I’ve mentioned, makes us happy. But we know that — we wouldn’t have pets otherwise. Why do they make us happy though? That’s an entirely different question.

This sense is what makes therapy animals so effective. Therapy animals are trained animals (often dogs and cats) that interact with people with mental or physical health problems to treat the issue. Their ability to provide a sense of security helps in making those with disorders such as ptsd feel safer in any situation. A common misconception is that service animals and therapy animals are the same — they have very different duties, but both have the same ability to pick up on social cues for humans. Service animals are without a handler, they help those with disabilities. While therapy animals often have handlers, and the interactions are guided, and are most common for those with mental health disorders. They work because they seem like a non judgemental, calming presence. Dogs, being extremely empathetic, help people develop social skills by letting them practice interaction skills. Animals can also help with anxiety too, considering that most people feel a lot safer in the presence of an animal they trust. As well as the security that comes from therapy animals, animals do not have the same motivations as people, which can allow patients to open up 34

T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

OAKLEY (louder and bolder than before) In the name of he who breathes the night sky, who smothers stars as we sleep, he whose name is unspoken except by those who bleed in secret, I implore the slumbering to revive. Let the spirits of those in dark tombs walk above them again! Let extinguished souls reignite with fury and raze the earth! Let the dead awaken and see the light of the moon! I summon thee to rise!

(OAKLEY waits again; nothing changes except the thunder and the rain, which grow louder.

She groans, frustrated, and looks up at the sky.)

OAKLEY Come on, come on, please, please just–In the name of he who breathes the night sky who smothers stars as we sleep he whose name is–God, forget this, just–rise!

I summon thee to rise!

(The thunder booms and lighting flashes suddenly and dramatically. OAKLEY looks excited and waits for something more to happen, but nothing does.The thunder grows quieter and the rain becomes a gentle drizzle. OAKLEY’s face falls and she begins begins to pace, worried.)

OAKLEY (desperate, gradually getting louder and louder) No, no, this can’t be happening, this–please, I did everything right, just–just be here! Please, just answer me! Please, anything, just answer me, I don’t know what to do, I need to know that–

by Danica Chen, ‘19 (It is, uncreatively, a dark and stormy night.The sound of rain and thunder can be heard. OAKLEY is sitting on her knees, surrounded by headstones, flipping through a book.There’s a knapsack off to the side. In front of her is a pentagram with a lit candle at each point and sprigs of lavender strewn around it. She seems to find what she needs in the book and stands up.)

OAKLEY (nervously) In the name of he who...who breathes the night sky, who smothers the stars as we sleep, he whose name is unspoken except by those who bleed in secret, I implore the slumbering to revive.

Let–let the spirits of those in dark tombs walk above them again, let extinguished souls reignite with–with blazing fury and raze the earth, let the dead awaken and see the light of the moon! I summon thee to rise. I summon thee to rise! I summon thee to rise!

(OAKLEY waits. Nothing changes. OAKLEY looks worried.)

35

I

( in

A f s s

P

( u

O

( E

I

(EMMA shuffles on stage wearing a guard uniform, looking exhausted and shining a flashlight at OAKLEY.)

Y

EMMA God, I can not believe I have to deal with this.

.

(OAKLEY screams and scrambles backwards; EMMA rolls her eyes.) (breathing heavily) What–what are you doing here?

OAKLEY

EMMA (rubs her eyes) I work here, kid. I’m a security guard? I got the literal graveyard shift. Someone’s got to stop grave robbers and teenagers with really weird interests. Although you’re the first wannabe sorceress yelling goth spells at the sky that I’ve had to deal with, so thanks for shaking it up a little.

OAKLEY (puts her face in her hands) Oh my God– EMMA Man, all my friends got internships at like, late night shows or bio labs but no, I wanted a job and my own paycheck like a real adult, like the kind of person who didn’t drive her Mercedes into someone’s pool at two different parties. I mean, I knew I could deal with the dead people, but seriously, thinking about all the stuff I’m missing out on just to deal with–sorry, what is this?

R b H

R

( E

“ r s b h

Y

r.

t !

d d e,

e w

a

d d e

I o n, e

(EMMA snatches the book out of OAKLEY’s hands and flips through it; OAKLEY yelps in surprise and tries to grab her book back.)

EMMA Alright, let’s see, it’s clearly some sort of fakey dark magic, that’s obvious from all the night imagery, but what type of dead person are you– (snorts) ‘I summon thee to rise’? Seriously? Why does everyone think getting offed suddenly makes you love Old English?

Please, don’t–

OAKLEY

(OAKLEY reaches for her book again; EMMA moves out of her reach without looking up.)

EMMA Ooh, ‘those who bleed in secret’, huh? That’s...certainly dramatic– (OAKLEY snatches her book back and holds it to her chest protectively, glaring at EMMA.) OAKLEY I don’t appreciate being mocked for my beliefs, okay?

EMMA Your beliefs in what, exactly? The Walking Dead? Ouija boards? ...In ghosts.

OAKLEY

EMMA Right. You mean the ghost of the American education system? Me too, because I have proof standing right in front of me that it died and went to Hell.

OAKLEY Really! This book will tell you everything. Look– (OAKLEY flips through her book and shows a page to a thoroughly unimpressed EMMA.) OAKLEY

(reading from the book) “On the night of February’s full moon, by performing the described ritual and reciting the following incantation before midnight, for seven minutes and seven seconds a spectre will return from the realm of the dead and appear before you in the cemetery where their body was lain.” It’s real! It says it right here, it’s got accounts from people who’ve seen it work and– EMMA You can’t seriously be–what’s your name?

(extends her hand) Oakley. Oakley Richards.

OAKLEY

EMMA (reluctantly shakes Oakley’s hand and coughing slightly) God, okay, Oakley, my name’s Emma, and take it from me, as someone who’s studying biology at Yale, everything in this book barely even qualifies as a pseudoscience.

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

e e m d

OAKLEY I–it’s not really–it’s not all that important, you wouldn’t–

OAKLEY Then how do you explain the fact that ghosts exist in every culture, or–or the existence of photographs with spirits in them, or the thousands of people with stories of paranormal encounters?

EMMA Technically your overarching claim by nature is impossible to falsify, but I’m gonna say...common sense?

OAKLEY Common sense is for people who aren’t interested in thinking for themselves.

EMMA Mm, yeah, you’re a real iconoclast. Say, where’d you buy that book?

OAKLEY ...Barnes and Noble. Look, it doesn’t matter where I got it! The point is that you yourself just said that I can’t be proven wrong, so maybe it’s not as impossible as you think that– EMMA Okay, how’s this for proof: where’s that ghost you were summoning? Is he shy?

Did his sheet get stuck in a bush somewhere?

OAKLEY I...well, I mean–my hand was shaking when I drew the pentagram, so maybe– EMMA No, forget it, you’re clearly going to stay like this no matter what I say.You think you can summon ghosts. Fine. Whatever. But, uh, new question: why would you try to actually do it? You want Poltergeist running around possessing TVs and murdering people?

OAKLEY (crosses her arms defensively) Every little kid has tried summoning Bloody Mary at one point or another, this isn’t all that different. Besides, that’s not technically how Poltergeist works.

EMMA And that’s not technically a real answer to my question, is it?

OAKLEY Maybe I was just curious! Is that so hard to believe?

36

T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

EMMA Well, you were basically about to start crying when I showed up, so yeah, it is.

You’re in a cemetery at twelve AM, you owe me a better explanation than that.

(OAKLEY quickly walks back to the pentagram and starts stuffing the lavender into her bag, not looking EMMA in the eye.)

OAKLEY (forced casual) You know, I don’t feel like having this conversation, it’s really none of your business. And, besides, you didn’t come here to hear my life story, you’re here because you’re getting paid to be here, and, you’re still getting paid, so–I don’t owe you anything.

EMMA Really? You’re just going to deflect and run off? What are you, five years old?

OAKLEY I don’t even know you. We’re strangers, why do you care?

EMMA (annoyed) Fine, you’re right, you don’t have to tell me. I don’t even remember why I cared. (coughs) I’ll get out of your hair and tomorrow you can tell the other members of your coven you successfully recreated the pottery scene from Ghost, it’s not like they can prove otherwise.

(OAKLEY startles at her words, stopping her cleanup and turning towards EMMA.) OAKLEY God, can you just–first off, my friends wouldn’t like the movie Ghost, it’s so inaccurate to– EMMA “Wouldn’t like”? What is that, are they like ghosts, do they not exist?

OAKLEY

(embarrassed) I–like I said, this is none of your business!

EMMA Ohh, okay. I get it. You’re that kid, huh? I should’ve seen it coming, to be honest. I mean, look at where we are right now. In my defense, I thought that would’ve been way too cliché to be true– OAKLEY Why are you still here? You don’t want to be here, and I don’t want you to be here, so why don’t you do us both a favor and just leave already?

EMMA Because I now know you’re a friendless loser, I’m not going to take that personally.

(OAKLEY groans, walks to the pentagram, and drops down beside it. EMMA sighs.)

But clearly you will. Well.

37

EMMA

(EMMA walks over to OAKLEY and sits down beside her, stretching out her legs and leaning back on her hands. EMMA coughs awkwardly. OAKLEY doesn’t look at her.)

EMMA Look, it’s not–nobody cares about high school. Everything you think matters when you’re a kid is really just stuff that dumb teen movies make you believe.

It’s–it’s a giant conspiracy, okay? Why do you think high school reunions and yearbooks exist? Because once you leave you have to be physically reminded that it ever even happened, it’s that unim– OAKLEY Did you have friends in high school? (taken aback) I...yeah. But–

EMMA

(OAKLEY suddenly turns her head to face EMMA.) OAKLEY (clipped) Did you go to dances? Pass your classes? Stay out late on weekends?

EMMA

(embarrassed) Okay, you’ve caught me, I’m cliché too. What are you trying to prove?

(OAKLEY shrugs and turns away again.)

OAKLEY Just saying, if someone’s going to talk about how unimportant it is to have a happy life when you’re young, it probably shouldn’t be you. You have a Mercedes and parties and Yale, and you’re just mean enough to be cool by making everyone else feel like dirt.You’d do fine in those dumb teen movies, so maybe you should shut up about how stupid they are.

EMMA (unsure) I mean, I crashed that Mercedes, so like. I’m not that cool, dude–

I I L b w l h I t j l F d

W t p u

I

O i

I

I e E

Y

(OAKLEY sighs and buries her face in her hands.)

OAKLEY Sorry, like–I don’t really care about high school either, I know it’s just a phase.

I just felt like snapping at you about it because I’m tired and cold and still kind of upset that...about earlier.

EMMA (slowly) ...There...there are actually a couple–a couple researchers who say ghosts might– OAKLEY You don’t have to lie to me, I know they’re fake.

EMMA (breathes sigh of relief and coughs) Oh thank God, that was torture. (coughs) Sorry, what was that?

Y a s u t

( t

A

Y I

(

s e. d d

a a y s,

e. d

s

OAKLEY I mean, in the back of my mind, I always kind of knew it wasn’t possible. But I–you know what it feels like right after you’ve woken up from a nice dream?

Like, like you’re still clinging to it a little even as reality comes back to you because it was just too good not to be true? And you still remember what it was like to live there, in that world, and you’re still sleepy enough to think, like, “There’s still a chance it could be true somehow”, you know? And that’s how I feel about ghosts, and the supernatural, and all that. Because sometimes I just look around me and think, like, “If this is all that there is, then I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with it all.” And it’s not like the world is bad, it’s just...colorless. Wonderless. And sometimes I can’t stop thinking about the life I could have lived if one night instead of waking up I just–kept dreaming.

Felt wonder without end. (takes a deep breath) So that’s what I do, I just...keep dreaming.

EMMA Wow. (beat) I have no idea why you were so cagey about that explanation, there’s nothing dark or embarrassing about that. I was like, (coughs) ninety percent sure you were trying to get revenge on some evil cheerleaders. That’s usually what you nerds are trying to do, right?

I’m saving that for next Sunday.

OAKLEY

EMMA Oh, I’m free that day, I’ll bring the whipped cream. Whipped cream’s always involved somehow. (half seriously) I’m holding you to that promise.

OAKLEY

OAKLEY

EMMA Yeah, because I don’t need ghosts to feel that way. The world’s weird enough as it is without dead people floating around. (coughs) I think life, not just the science of it, but like, the endless potential we have inside of us and ahead of us, it’s–I mean, we’re having this conversation in a graveyard, that’s (coughs), that’s amazing enough for me. I dunno.

(OAKLEY doesn’t respond, deep in thought. EMMA starts coughing again, more severely than before, and after a while OAKLEY looks at her with concern.)

Are you–are you okay?

OAKLEY Oh God, I shouldn’t be keeping you out here anymore, should I? EMMA Don’t say sorry, it’s not (coughs) it’s not like I would’ve done anything else if (coughs) you didn’t show up. Not a lot of action here. I’ll (coughs) I’ll see you arou– (EMMA breaks off into a coughing fit, growing worse and worse by the second.Thunder can be heard rumbling again. OAKLEY reaches out to help her but is unsure what to do.)

Um, really, are you–

OAKLEY

(EMMA coughs into her hand until she gets her breath under control. She pulls her hand away and looks into her palm; suddenly, her face contorts in horror. She’s holding shards of glass, covered in flecks of blood. OAKLEY sees them as well and looks similarly scared.)

OAKLEY (panicked) Is that–is that glass? Emma, what’s– I don’t know, I have no idea, I–

EMMA

(EMMA coughs up more blood. She is terrified. So is OAKLEY. The thunder grows louder.)

EMMA I–I don’t know what’s–I have to go.

EMMA I’ll mark my calendar. (long silence) There’s nothing wrong with wanting the extraordinary, or whatever. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.

Everyone wants a little magic in their lives.

You don’t believe in ghosts.

EMMA slowly starts getting up as well.)

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

d

(EMMA stumbles away while OAKLEY watches her go in alarm.)

Emma, wait! Emma! Emma–

OAKLEY

(OAKLEY stops abruptly as something in her periphery catches her attention. She looks down at one of the headstones in front of her for a long moment, reading the name on it over and over.) (softly) No. No no no no no no–

OAKLEY

(The thunder booms and lightning flashes as it did before. In the same moment that the lightning vanishes, OAKLEY’s candles go out, leaving the stage completely black.)

END

OAKLEY

EMMA Yeah, I think there’s just something in my throat. I have some tea in my car, I’ll just– (EMMA breaks off into another cough; OAKLEY starts getting up as EMMA speaks.

38

T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

An excerpt from Take Two, an original student musical produced by Del Norte Musicals Club about two internet friends determined to get their lives together a second time.

In this scene, Jessie has a conversation with an employee at her new workplace and learns that an important figure from her past has come there as well. Written by Angela Chen, Lisa Ye, and Danica Chen, the full show will be performed in the PAC on May 17th.

ACT ONE SCENE THREE

A I’ e

(In Jessie’s workplace) JESSIE

(pouring coffee) –and I know it’s kind of weird I’m talking to you like you’re here but I don’t know what else to do, I know this is a fresh start, my take two and all that, but I still feel like I’m being–hunted, or something, like I’m paper thin and everyone could see right through me if they squinted, rip me to shreds if they wanted to. I want to be normal again and have normal friends again but I still feel like everyone around me knows that I–

Jessie?

Oh f–

O

U

LIANA

N

JESSIE

I

(almost drops coffee mug)

Hi. Am I interrupting?

No, of course not. What’s up?

Y LIANA JESSIE

LIANA Nothing special, just meeting the new guys. I’m Liana.

Jessie.

JESSIE

LIANA Nice to meet you, Jessie. Where’re you from?

Why do you want to know?

Just trying to get to know you.

LIANA

(laughs awkwardly) My personality has nothing to do with my old hometown.

Uh, okay. Sorry for asking.

W s S w Y k

T a s

A

JESSIE

JESSIE

“Jessie’s Isolation” Angela Chen, ‘19 Photography

Y

A

(enter LIANA)

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N s n

LIANA

Y c

O

Y b

I o e d e

JESSIE No, sorry, I was just joking, it’s just that I’m from, uh, like, a really small town. You’ve probably never heard of it. Not like here. It’s a nice change, having places to go and people you don’t know.

LIANA Actually, I’ve always kind of wanted to live in a small town. Maybe I’ve just watched too much TV, but I think it’d be nice, that picturesque ideal of walking everywhere and knowing everyone.

JESSIE You’re right. You have watched too much TV. LIANA

(laughs) Okay, fine, Jessie, what’s the real small town experience like?

JESSIE Uh, I don’t know, do we really have to talk about–it’s not really– Am I bothering you?

LIANA

JESSIE No, it’s just–small talk is so–mm. You know.

I don’t know.

LIANA

JESSIE Yeah, I know. (pause) Well, uh, you were right about everyone knowing everyone in a small town. People not locking their doors, that’s a real thing.

School–I mean, regular school sounds bad enough, imagine if there were less than a couple hundred kids they from kindergarten up.

You’re part of a community whether you like it or not. Everyone knows everyone. Really knows.

What?

You look kinda shaken.

JESSIE LIANA

JESSIE How would you know, it’s not like you know me, you just met me.

Uh, I...guess not.

LIANA

JESSIE No, I’m just–it’s not like you have to– (laughs) My brain really just doesn’t work right in the morning unless I’ve had coffee. I mean, right now it’s, what, around 7:30?

VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

l t . t e a e

LIANA Wait, sorry, I’ve got a meeting at 7:30, I almost forgot, I have to– JESSIE No, yeah, go I’ll talk to you later.

LIANA (shuffles around a bit) Right, um, nice to meet you Jessie welcome onboard hope you have a good first day see you at orientation I’ve got to run bye!

JESSIE Ha, don’t worry, I’ve got to run too! (pause) If only I knew a place where the world wouldn’t find me.

LIANA That doesn’t sound so bad. But I’m guessing you hated it. Maybe you and April can commiserate about it, I’m not sure I could ever understand the culture of– April? There’s an April here?

JESSIE

LIANA Yeah, April Riley, sweet kid. She’s from a small town too, place called Montrose.

Oh.

JESSIE

LIANA You’re both small pond fellows. Maybe you guys’ll be good friends, bond over the–um, are you okay?

40

T H E F E AT H E R A L I S T - A P R I L 2 0 1 9

contributors Staff Contributors: Skyler Wu, ‘20 - Co-president/Editor-in-Chief Isabel Shih, ‘19 - Co-president/Editor-in-Chief Angela Chen, ‘19 - Vice-President/Deputy Editor-in-Chief Ayesha Aslam-Mir, ‘20 - Treasurer/Editor Ellie Feng, ‘20 - Secretary/Editor Nora Mousa, ‘20 - Board Editor Kane Xu, ‘21 - Board Editor Manasvi Vora, ‘20 - Board Editor Danica Chen, ‘19 - Board Editor Andrew Wang, 20 - Board Editor Derrek Fan, ‘20 - Head of Art Siham Bougour, ‘19 - Head of Graphic Design General Contributors: Ashley Asadi, ‘19 Andrea Baek, ‘22 Allen Chen, ‘21 Bella Chong, ‘22 Phoenix Dimagiba, ‘20 Angelyn Huang, ‘22 Joseph Li, ‘20 Krishna Rajpara, ‘20 Maya Sinha, ‘19 Imran Tallman, ‘19 Crystal Wang, ‘19 Kevin Wang, ‘21 Daisy Ye, ‘20 Lisa Ye, ‘19 Diane Zhou, ‘22 Advisers: Mr. Thomas Swanson Dr. Trent Hall Spread Designers: Mabel Szeto, ‘21 Spreads designed: “A Gleam”, “A Walk In The Park” Colin Szeto, ‘21 Spreads designed: “Little Suns”, “Alexa, Google ‘Cookie’” Sophia Du, ‘20 Spreads designed: “A Discussion with Brian Maienschein”, “Why Therapy Dogs Work” Julia Du, ‘20 Spreads designed: “MLB Offseason”, “Nationalism and Patriotism” Esther Jin, ‘22 Spreads designed: “Buried Away”, “Something About You”

41

works cited A Breath of Fresh Air

Monroe, Jamison. “Adolescent Depression in Schools.” Newport Academy, Newport Academy, 31 July 2018, www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/adole cent-depression-in-schools/.

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Major League Baseball Offseason

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Davis, Scott. “'I Have No Idea What the Hell Is Happening:' MLB's Bizarre Free Agency Has Created a Rift in the League and Both Sides Are Pointing Fingers.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 3 Mar. 2018, www.businessinsider.com/mlb-free-agency-drama-rift-2018-3 Haupert, Paul. “MLB's Annual Salary Leaders since 1874.” Society for American Baseball Research, sabr.org/research/mlbs-annual-sal ry-leaders-1874-2012.

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Why Therapy Dogs Work

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VOLUME 01, ISSUE 04 - BRIGHT SIDE

42

We are psychologically built to focus more on the bad than the good.

Nobody pays any mind to unspilled milk... with everything happening in our country and our world today, it’s important to take a breather and remember what’s real—that good does exist.