FR EE
Free to be Yourself
Gay Males
and Femiphobia
ISSUE NO 15
VISIBILITY changes
ATTITUDES FEB 2016
CO PY
Happy
s ’ e n i t n e l a V Day
Contact Details:
Editor: Larin Labuschagne - diversity@vodamail.co.za Sub-editor: Theresa Bosch - theresa.bosch@gmail.com www.facebook.com/diversitydurban
Enquiries and Advertising Sales: Larin Labuschagne - 072 186 8112 Theresa Bosch - 073 583 0518
Graphic Design: Kim Lithgow @ Sapphire Designs 084 700 2536
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Disclaimer Whilst every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the contents of Diversity magazine, neither the editor, the publisher nor the printer can be held responsible for any omissions or errors or for any misfortune, injury or damages which may arise there from. We do not guarantee the quality of service of any of the advertisers in this magazine. Reproduction of Diversity magazine in whole or any part is prohibited without prior written permission from the editor. The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of Diversity magazine or the editor.
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Editor’s Note As we all know February is the “month of Love” as we celebrate Valentine’s Day. Even though I am one of those people who complain about how commercialised it is and it’s just a money making racket I have to accept that expressing your love for that special person in your life is important on Valentine’s day and every other day of the year. However you choose to celebrate it…chocolates, flowers, cards or if you’re creative, handmade things are always so meaningful. I once got a gift that had a picture of a cute kitten on it and the words…”All you need is Love (and a cat)”…I have both and how blessed I am. So have a happy and romantic Valentine’s Day! We also look at more serious issues this month, we are sometimes oblivious to our “hidden” prejudices and this makes the article on “Gay Males and Femiphobia” an informative and eye-opening read. The Same Love support group’s article” Visibility Changes Attitudes” advises us on how to take a stand against homophobia/transphobia , giving us food for thought, as Gandhi said, “…be the change you wish to see in this world.” Struggling to keep to your new year’s resolutions? Or perhaps haven’t made any? Take a look at the article on Living Life to the Full in 2016 and make some choices on how you’re going to make this an awesome year! Keep safe and God bless.
Larin & Theresa
CONTENTS VALENTINE COUPLES GAY MALES AND FEMIPHOBIA VISIBILITY CHANGES ATTITUDES LIVING LIFE TO THE FULL FILM REVIEW - JOY EVENTS DIARY AND MARKETS
4-5 7-8 9 10 - 11 12 - 13 15
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Sharon & Linda
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Wesley & Rudolph
ne i t n e l a V les C ou p
t h en u o y d e Lov t i ll s u o y e lov h a ve s y a w l A wi l l alwa ys
Wendy & Debbie
Patrick & Karl
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Tarryn & Roxy
Derek & Kevin
Forever Lisa & Nirvana
Trish & Brigitte
Jeanine & Lee-anne
Theo & Johan
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Gay Males and Femiphobia by Arnold Motsau PhD Candidate: Trauma, Forgiveness and Reconciliation Studies
W
hy do you have to ‘act’ like a woman, man? Is it not enough that you have come out of the closet and have embraced your gayness? Why do you have to overdo it and become something that you are not? Have you ever heard gay men ask other gay men or drag queens such questions? It is as if there is something inherently wrong with being a woman. It becomes something almost disgusting and ‘unmanly’ when performing womanly acts through dress, speech and mannerisms. As males, we cannot escape male privilege as a kind of social memory that is insidiously passed down from one generation to the next. It is found in all institutions within society such as religion and even the corporate environment. There is almost no society untouched by the curse of male privilege. The gay male is also socialised and grew up in the same sexist culture as straight males. There are global policies that are designed specifically around this patriarchal logic, which privileges the male. This logic affirms that women or feminine persons are inferior to the male. They cannot think for themselves and are incapable of being reasonable. This logic of male privilege produces the seeds of what is called femiphobia among gay males. Femiphobia is a discriminating attitude against females or the feminine that is deeply linked to the male’s superiority. It is subtle and sometimes not manifest in overt ways. Of course, no gay man wants to be considered an outright sexist or misogynist. It would mean that we are implicated in the oppression of women and we advance the cause of male domination. I most certainly believed this
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about myself. I consider myself someone who is pro-feminist. I openly defend the rights of women and fully support initiatives about ending the violence against women and children. One evening during a conversation with friends of mine, I became aware of this perverse disease within myself. During the conversation, someone alluded to the recent case of assault by Chris Brown on Frank Ocean. After hearing about this, I was outraged and immediately categorised it a homophobic act. I even vowed never to listen to Chris Brown’s music ever again. A female friend, who was sitting across from me interjected and asked me whether I felt the same way and stopped listening to his music, after Chris Brown beat up Rihanna some time before. With great shock and a paralysing realisation, I admitted to her that I did not have the same reaction. I realised that I was femiphobic. How many times have we gay males walked up to women, spanked their butts, and jokingly hoped that she would think that we are “harmless”. We assume that we are harmless because we are not attracted to women. While in fact, we stand in our sense of entitlement as males and in effect reinforce the patriarchal logic. Femiphobia is when so-called ‘straight acting/butch’ gay males denigrate effeminate gay males because they act like women. There is nothing wrong with being a woman! There is nothing wrong with acting like a woman. There is no way one can ever “overdo” their gender identity. There is however a need to confront our discrimination and prejudice against women, womyn, femes, bottoms, trannies whoever and wherever in the world.
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VISIBILITY changes attitudes B
by Kim Lithgow
elieving that we have no options is a curse. That’s why some churches kick out LGBTQI youngsters, and why some parents do the same. In fact homophobia/transphobia as a whole exists simply because it’s thought that straight is the only option. Visibility is our saving grace. LGBTQI people in the workplace, schools, churches, or anywhere else, give everyone an opportunity to see that there is another option. You can live your life as LGBTQI and be Christian, or any other faith you align yourself with. You can be succesful and choose a life undefined by the boundaries imposed on LGBTQI. Imagine for a moment, a world where all faith leaders condemned the murders of gays and lesbians? Or they openly opposed violence and rape against LGBTQI? Sadly currently, they only condemn being gay or lesbian. South Africa has a wonderful constitution, and we can hold all civilians and authorities accountable to it. So how do we do that effectively? Today, there is research being done to show the attitudes of society in South Africa, and the results of that research will be used to legislate “hate-crime,” “hatespeech” and “hate-based discrimination.” This law will bring about harsher penalties for these crimes, both violent and non-violent. You can make a stand against homophobia/transphobia by being visible. Both personally and officially. Share your experiences of homophobia with Same Love Toti, and we will submit them to these researchers. No names, just stories, for example: “A gay man, aged 35 was threatened in Durban by a group of youths, who swore to assault him for being gay. (20th January 2014)” The data gathered needs to have happened between 2013 and 2017.
These accounts will show the need for hate-crime legislation, in order to address societal attitudes in South Africa. Be bold, contact us and be part of this exciting chapter in history! Same Love Toti meets every month to have open discusions on different topics. This is a safe space for LGBT, their parents, families, friends, allies. Follow us on Twitter @SameLoveToti, Like us on Facebook “Same Love Support Group Toti” or email us on samelovefamilies@gmail.com.
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Living Life to the Full in 2016
F
by Theresa Bosch
ebruary represents a number of awareness days and on the 19th of February is Healthy Lifestyles Awareness Day. Since we are still at the starting gates of this year and by now have perhaps already slipped up on those well intentioned New Year’s resolutions I figured it would be a good idea to look at how to get into the right mind-set and habits to make this an awesome year! Be the optimist, I know in the world we live in it can be difficult, however start out by being grateful for all the many things that are right in your life…count your blessings! If you start seeing the glass half full, soon it will be overflowing simply because you adopted a positive outlook. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and leave behind the people who bring you down. Don’t just work your brain, but your muscles too, not only does working out do wonders for your body, but physical activity also improves your overall well-being and health. Regular movement helps get you out of your head and focused on your body for a while. Plus it triggers endorphins that have an overwhelming effect on lifting your spirits. It makes you come alive. Let it go…if you’ve been harbouring any grudges or negative feelings let this be the year to let it go! It’s okay to get angry about things that have upset you but don’t let it set up camp in your head for good, that’s just unhealthy mentally and physically. Breathe the fresh air, if you’re not much of an outdoor person then it’s time to change that, studies show getting out there and enjoying the sunny skies and fresh air for at least 30 minutes can boost your mood. It really is so refreshing! If you do enjoy the outdoors then go for that hike or walk along the beach that you keep thinking of doing, enjoy the beauty of God’s creation and it’s a win-win situation because you get a physical workout at the same time.
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Sleep well, sleep boosts your mood, improves your memory and sharpens
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your focus. The health benefits of a good night’s sleep improve your quality of life. Make time for a hobby, we all have things we enjoy doing but just never get around to it. Well, set time aside for it and just do it, whatever it may be, reading a good book, or writing one if you’ve always wanted to or perhaps you’ve always wanted to do something arty, visit your local art store and see what tickles your fancy. We spend much of our time at work and sometimes in jobs that we may not even enjoy much so we deserve to do things that make us happy! Be a giver, People feel good when they do good and research has shown that giving is good for you emotionally and physically. I can vouch for that, whenever I have helped someone, I’m just beaming with joy. It doesn’t always have to be something big, you could send an inspirational text message to someone you’ve been meaning to contact or show consideration to other motorists on the road. Enjoy your favourite tunes, apparently research has shown that soft, soothing music reduces anxiety as well as a massage does. I find that hard to believe but I know that listening to music you enjoy can be very uplifting and if you actually sing along that’s even better. More research suggests that an organ in the inner ear is connected to a part of the brain that registers pleasure. So singing may make you happier! The food side of life, we all know we must make healthy eating choices, so do that for the most part but also sometimes enjoy the food you love, especially if you can get together with the people you love and enjoy good food with good company…that’s definitely healthy too. (And of course…drinks lots of water!) Set some goals, you can’t really succeed without a goal; if you aren’t actually aiming at something then life becomes a hit and miss! Having purpose will make you happier. Share your goals with your family and friends and allow them to encourage you, it can also open doors sometimes if you happen to be telling the right person at the right time. Follow your dreams and have fun!
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This Month’s Film Review:
JOY
Reviewed by David R. Walker Director: David O. Russell Cast:Jennifer Lawrence, Robert de Niro, Edgar Ramirez, Virginia Madsen, Diane Ladd, Isabella Rossellini, Bradley Cooper, Elisabeth Rohm, Dascha Polanco Director David O. Russell’s third collaboration with Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence, Joy is about a feisty daring divorced young mother of two who gambles her entire life savings on her own invention of the miracle mop. Loosely based on the true story of Joy Mangano who invented the miracle mop back in the mid-eighties, the film version is a quirky dysfunctional tale of a family who do their best to distract Joy from her primary goal, that of becoming a successful entrepreneur. Joy’s dizzy mother Terry played by Virginia Madsen is engrossed in glossy eighties soap operas while her father Rudy, a greying Casanova, wonderfully played by Robert de Niro, his second appearance in a David O. Russell film after Silver Linings Playbook. Joy’s grandmother is the rock of her world, Mimi played by the irrepressible Diane Ladd (Rambling Rose, Wild at Heart). When Rudy starts dating a wealthy Italian widow Trudy, beautifully played Isabella Rossellini in one of her most prolific roles yet, Joy seizes upon an opportunity to ask Trudy to invest in her idea of the miracle mop. However after many unsuccessful attempts to sell her product, primarily outside K. Mart, Joy’s ex-husband, the amiable Venezuelan aspiring singer, Tony played by Edgar Ramirez (Point Break) suggests that they go and approach a Pennsylvania business man directly. In a series of chance encounters, Joy meets the head buyer for K. Mart the suave and tough Neil Walker, underplayed by Bradley Cooper, who returns for his fourth collaboration with Jennifer Lawrence after Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle and Serena. The daring Joy persuades Walker to give her a chance doing a home shopping advert where she can have the golden opportunity to sell the miracle mop to 12
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Television consumers, a precursor to the Home Shopping Network. Amidst many dodgy business dealings involving elusive suppliers, Joy soon matures into a really tough business woman despite doubts by Trudy who has been her main patron and financial backer. Joy is an uneven yet quirky film about one daring woman in particular who embraces the American dream, despite the odds and eventually through sheer tenacity succeeds into become a multi-million dollar corporate business woman who embraces the Capitalist work ethic and proves that hard work and determination certainly pays off. As a film, Joy is by no means David O. Russell’s best work, not nearly outshining Silver Linings Playbook or American Hustle, but what makes the film so enjoyable is Jennifer Lawrence’s fantastic performance, anchoring the uneven narrative down despite a proliferation of flighty and less reliable characters. It is also refreshing to see Robert de Niro and Isabella Rossellini share so much screen time. Joy is recommended viewing, a fantastic feel good film with a great supporting cast and a fine truly inspiring performance by Jennifer Lawrence who as usual under the directorial guidance of David O. Russell never disappoints. David Walker (Freelance Film and Travel Journalist) Cell: +27 (0)82 7011817 Twitter: @SouthboyD Email: davidr.walker@gmail.com Website: http://www.davidrwalker.co.za
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EVENTS DIARY 9 Feb 11 Feb 12 Feb 13 Feb
19 Feb
Shawn Phillps Live- Barnyard Gateway, Tickets R150.00. Don’t miss out on seeing this legendary artist. Mo Magic -Experience the magic! Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre. Computicket, 0861 915 8000 East Coast Radio Kings & Queens of Comedy- ICC Durban Centre, Tickets R230. Computicket 0861 915 8000 Vintage Valentines Outdoor Cinema @ Friends CafÊThe Pinetown, Gourmet Picnic and Big Screen Outdoor Experience of Casablanca...cuddle up with your blankets & cushions and be transported to a far-away land and live through an epic romance, R300 per couple. The Voice- Danny Fisher- Rhumbelow Theatre, Dbn, 082 499 8636
12 March International Jazz ExtraVaganza - celebrates this unique art form, showcasing the pure jazz greats, bringing together the jazz beau monde of the African continent and around the world. Computicket 0861 915 8000
MARKETS Essenwood Market, Sat from 9am-2pm, Essenwood Rd, Essenwood. Contact: 031 208 1264 I Heart Market, 1st Sat of every month, Moses Mabhida Stadium from 9am-2pm, Contact: 078 989 4432 Heritage Market, 9 Old Main Road, Hillcrest, Contact: 031 765 2500 The Food Market, 6 High Grove, Umgeni Park, Contact: 084 505 0113 Shongweni Farmers Market, Cnr Alverstone & Cassier Rd, Shongweni, Contact: 031 777 1554 The Golden Hours Family Market, Sun 10am-3:30pm, Uitsig Rd, Durban North, Contact: 083 262 3693 The Litchi Orchard, 1st and 3rd Sat of every month, Seaforth Ave, Umhlali, Contact: 084 205 6151 The Stables Lifestyle Market, (Wed & Fri 6pm-10pm and Sun 10am-5pm),
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