COUNSELLING CORNER
with Linda Cassell @ Psychology Works 4 All – Phone 4773 3057 or 0421 507 191 – email lindacassell@bigpond.com
Seven Strategies to Survive Christmas with the Relatives* Each year we look forward with great expectation for the perfect family Christmas. However we know from ‘Christmas’s past’ that often the reality of our Christmas holiday experiences is far removed from our picture perfect fantasies. Christmas can be pretty stressful and unpleasant for many who may not look forward to spending a lot of time with people that they don’t particularly like but feel obligated to be with during this time of year. Here are seven strategies for survival. So, consider doing the right thing for yourself by using the following: 1. Don’t take the bait! Some relatives may use the holidays to act out family dynamics, old sibling rivalries, and so forth. Don’t take the bait. If you know it is coming you can plan for it. 2. Watch the alcohol consumption! It can be easy to drink too much during these gatherings and then you are more likely to have troubles with family dynamics and impulse control. 3. Put brakes on your impulses by counting to 10 (slowly and in another language if you need to). When you are confronted with a family member who irritates you get ready to count before you say anything. 4. Take an adult time out. Take a walk around the block and breathe deeply to look after yourself and keep your stress levels down. 5. Learn to observe. Try to develop what we psychologists call an “observing ego.” Try to take yourself out of the situation you are in and observe it similar to if you were watching a movie. It may give you a bit of distance to do so and not get so emotionally involved.
6. Keep the big picture in mind. The big picture for some is that you have to survive a few hours or days with the family during the holidays and then you can get back to your normal life. The big picture is to survive without too much family drama. Keep the expectations reasonable and doable. 7. Be grateful. No matter how stressful family can be, it really is important to be grateful for what we do have. *Adapted from Prof Plante @ www.psychology today.com. * Linda Cassell - Assoc MAPS, Master of Counselling, Psychology Honours (BASS) - is a psychologist and counsellor in private practice in Luddenham.
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December 2012
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