Articles In This Issue Page 1: Pat Farrell Page 3: SABOR Column Page 7: The Way I See It Featuring: Cathey Meyer Page 13: NARPM Column Featuring Brenda Davila Page 15 Associate Spotlight Featuring: Mission Title Page 22 & 23: Newsflash
Vol.VI, No.9
www.realestatenewsline.com
September 2020
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed And Something Blue By: Pat Farrell
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Tradition is usually the name of the game when it comes to weddings in the United States. Most American couples follow customs of European origin that may date back many, many years, but the weddings are all somewhat similar and usually follow some religious guidance but may vary depending upon the part of the country in which the couple resides. Today when one thinks of a couple planning to marry, they associate it with them being in love and intending to spend the rest of their lives together, but a few centuries ago that may not necessarily have been the case because at the time, even the word “wedding” referred to what the groom’s family was willing to pay for the privilege of their son marrying the bride. A traditional US wedding party usually consists of the bride, her closest friend as her maid of honor and other friends to serve as bridesmaids, while the groom will
select his closest friend to serve as his best man and other friends as groomsmen. The maid of honor is tasked with arranging a shower for the prospective bride, where the gifts are usually something the couple will need to start their lives together, while the best man arranges a bachelor party to celebrate the groom’s last night as a “free” man. Family and friends are usually invited to the ceremony and following reception, especially the couple’s parents, which is appropriate since they are most likely footing the bill for the occasion. Being a melting pot country most of the wedding traditions in the United States are not original as they are derived from other cultures, most of which stem from Europe. It is common for the couple to receive gifts during the reception, many in response to a register where the couple has entered the items they would like to receive. This is considered usual and occurs whether the wedding is elaborate or is scaled down to take place in someone’s home. But religion will dictate the way the rite is carried out. It is common in most religions for the father of the bride to walk her down the aisle to the altar where she will join the groom, who has been there patiently waiting for her to arrive. However, in the Jewish religion it is common for both the parents of the bride and the groom to walk their child down the aisle to a tent-like structure called a chuppah, a symbol for the couples coming together to create a new home, and the actual ceremony will take place in the chuppah. Prior to the ceremony the couple will have executed a wedding contract (ketubah) which the rabbi will read in the chuppah immediately after the ring ceremony. For a Hindu wedding, after the wedding date is determined (by astrology), the
festivities begin three days prior to the actual ceremony with a Pre-Party called the Sangeet where attendees dance and sing to celebrate the soon-to-be event. During that same day as the Sangeet the bride’s hands are decorated with elaborate artwork using henna (the darker the shade the better). On the wedding day the bride will wear a red dress, usually elegantly decorated, and her family and guests will be seated immediately upon arrival. Upon the groom’s arrival his family and guests will form a parade and enter the ceremonial grounds together. The father of the bride takes her to the groom and places her hand in his symbolizing that he is giving her away to the groom. The couple will be wed under a mandap, a decorated structure, where, in the middle, a fire burns. The ritual begins with a prayer to Ganesha, the god of beginnings and good fortune, which is followed by the couple exchanging a floral garland (jai mala), and then the groom places a necklace of black and gold beads on the bride. The couple will then shower each other with rice, red powder will be applied to the bride’s hair signifying she is married and then she departs with her husband throwing rice and coins over her head to show her appreciation for the time spent in her childhood home. Many of the Hindu customs are similar in the Islam faith. There are, however, many customs around the world that boggle the mind as to why they have become a tradition. For example, in France a really gross tradition is when the wedding guests fill a toilet bowl with all the leftovers from the reception, mix it with alcohol and then the wedded couple is expected to eat it all to fortify themselves for the arduous night ahead of them. In England there is a tradition in some areas where ribbons have been
placed between the layers of the wedding cake and before the couple cuts the cake, the single women pull a ribbon and the one that finds the ribbon with the ring charm is said to be next to marry. In South Korea there is a tradition where the guests tie the groom’s feet together and beat on his feet which supposedly encourages the groom to not disappoint the bride during his performance on the wedding night. A tradition in China requires that, starting one month prior to the wedding, the bride must cry for one hour each day. One week later her mother will join her, and then for the last two weeks, first her grandmother, and finally her sisters will chime in for the final week, all of which is to signify extreme happiness. Really? In parts of the Congo it is still a tradition for the parents of the bride and groom to negotiate a price for the bride and they consider this to be a profoundly serious matter; therefore, during the ceremony smiling is not permitted. In French Polynesia, on the Marquesas Islands, they have a tradition known as the human rug where, after the ceremony, members of the bride’s family lie on the floor lined up and the couple walks across them. Ouch! But, in Sweden they have a tradition where during the reception the bride leaves the room and all the single women get in line to kiss the groom, after which the groom leaves the room and the men line up to kiss the bride. In addition to wedding traditions there are also the wedding superstitions that play a part in what the couple considers important to watch out for on their special day. These include things like not seeing each other before the wedding or someone giving knives as a wedding gift, as it signifies, or could lead to a broken