A Parent’s Guide
S A PARENT, you wear many hats—caregiver, coach, chef, chauffeur, to name a few. But when you’re a parent to a child with a thinking and learning difference, you wear even more. You’re their advocate, cheerleader and champion.
While a learning difference diagnosis—something up 1 in 5 people will receive—can bring a sense of clarity, it can also bring new emotions. You might be navigating a world of IEPs, 504 plans or specialized educational support. You might learn to decipher acronyms, understand complex evaluations, and fight for the resources your child needs to thrive. And beyond meetings and paperwork, there’s the day-to-day parenting of a child who learns differently. You may worry about their self-esteem or battle over homework.
Here’s the thing: Learning differences, such as dyslexia, dysgraphia and ADHD (not a specific learning disability, but something that can significantly impact learning), are not indicators of low intelligence or a lack of effort. They are neurological differences that affect how individuals receive, process, store, and respond to information. In short, they’re a different wiring of the brain. And because there are so many facets to raising a child whose brain is uniquely wired, we bring you this annual issue, looking at the nuances of these common differences.
How do learning disabilities change the way our kids process things? Are kids who learn differently more prone to depression, and what can we do about that? And how can we best advocate for their needs—and, perhaps even more importantly, teach them to advocate for themselves? With expert guidance and actionable advice, this issue helps with all those other hats you wear.
showing progress or there are any issues with the current IEP), says Melissa Griffiths, advocate, speaker, trainer and owner of DFW Advocacy. But she cautions that they shouldn’t be called excessively. If you do want to request an additional meeting, it must be done in writing, and “the rules say the school shall promptly convene the ARD meeting,” Ramage says.
WHAT TO KNOW AND BRING
ACCOMMODATIONS VS. MODIFICATIONS
As you discuss your child’s individualized education program, you may hear references to accommodations or modifications, two educational strategies that help students with learning differences learn by tailoring them to their specific needs. Here’s how these differ, according to the Texas Education Agency:
Accommodations: These change how your child learns or demonstrates knowledge. Accommodations are intended to reduce or eliminate the effects of student’s disability on academic tasks but do not change learning expectations. Accommodations are not one-size-fits-all; rather, the impact of a child’s learning disability determines the necessary accommodations.
Modifications: These change what your child is expected to master. Modifications typically reduce the requirements for state standards for what students should know and be able to do. With modifications, students access grade level curriculum through prerequisite skills.
Once you have an ARD meeting scheduled, it’s normal to feel anxious but there are things you can do ahead of time to reduce some of those unsettling feelings.
It’s a good idea to get a list of acronyms that are commonly used during ARDs, so you know what exactly is being discussed. Texas Education Agency’s spedtex. org is a good resource for this. And if you need clarification once you’re in the meeting, don’t hesitate to ask.
If your child already has an existing IEP, read it through and make sure you understand everything. Jot down any new skills your child has developed, any areas they’re struggling in, if anything could be done better or differently, what you liked about the previous school year and any questions you may have.
Ramage also recommends reviewing your child’s progress reports and evaluations, so you can go into the meeting with a prioritized list of what you want for your child. She cautions that you likely won’t get everything on your list, so come prepared with data and documentation for what you feel is most important.
In addition to progress reports, experts suggest getting records of the services your child has been receiving in school. This way, you can see documentation of their work and progress.
There are a few other things you should review and bring with you to the meeting, including independent evaluations (if you have them), progress reports from outside therapy providers and/or tutors and information about how your child
SAY WHAT?
A quick reference guide to common acronyms.
ARD: Admission, Review and Dismissal
BIP: Behavior Intervention Plan
ECI: Early Childhood Intervention
ESY: Extended School Year
FAPE: Free Appropriate Public Education
FERPA: Family Educational Rights and Privacy
FIE: Full and Individual Evaluation
IEP: Individualized Education Program
MD: Multiple Disabilities
PLAAFP: Present Levels of Academic Achievement & Functional Performance
SLD: Specific Learning Disability
SI: Speech Impairment
SLP: Speech Language Pathologist
TEKS: Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills
is at home. Griffiths also suggests writing an “about me” page for your child and updating it annually to include things like your child’s likes and dislikes, how to best interact or not interact with your child and a photo to give the school a more holistic picture of your child.
And don’t forget a notebook to jot down notes, questions or ideas during the meeting.
CHANNEL EMOTIONS INTO ADVOCACY
ARD meetings can be very emotional for parents for many reasons. They can last anywhere from 1 to 3 hours. You might feel outnumbered with how many people from the school are in the meeting. And you’re discussing areas in which your child is struggling compared to their peers.
Griffiths and Ramage suggest the following tactics to keep the emotions at bay and be the best advocate for your child:
• Stay focused on your child and their needs.
• Bring support if you think you’ll need it.
• Be knowledgeable and firm about what your child’s needs are.
• Speak in a clear, calm voice. In Ramage’s experience, when a parent gets emotional in a meeting, the school can become defensive.
Above all, Griffiths recommends you “try really hard to take it from that perspective of, this information sounds difficult, but it doesn’t mean that [your] child is not important or is not going to progress or is not going to be successful in life,” she says. “It’s just this is, at this point in time, where they’re struggling, and these are the things that we can work on.”
takes longer than their peers to take in information, make sense of it and respond. It can show up in all kinds of ways:
• Problems recalling and following verbal directions
• Taking a long time to write things down
• Trouble getting things done (getting dressed, doing homework, cleaning their room)
• Information learned is quickly lost
• Difficulty keeping up with conversations; gets lost easily in social interactions
• Struggling to finish tests or assignments on time
• Does not join in with class discussions
• Finds it hard to tune out distractions
• Becomes anxious, frustrated or tired as the day goes on
• Getting overwhelmed with multi-step directions
• Answering questions more slowly—even when they know the answer
Rebekah McPherson is a speech language pathologist at Key School and Training Center, a school in Fort Worth that serves students with learning differences, and a proud mom to Mitchell, a seventh grader there. McPherson says that she and her husband noticed very early on, when Mitchell was 4 or 5 years old, that he was not picking up on counting and the alphabet. She says, “Certain things weren’t coming naturally like writing his name. My background is in education, education technology and communication. I’ve been a teacher for 23 years, so I was aware of what kids should be able to do at a certain age.”
When Mitchell was in kindergarten, his teacher suggested to McPherson that he be evaluated. She says, “We sought an outside evaluation after speaking with Mitchell’s pediatrician … We found out he was dyslexic, and he also had ADHD in addition to slow processing speed.”
CAN SLOW
PROCESSING SPEED CO-OCCUR WITH OTHER LEARNING DIFFICULTIES?
Mitchell’s situation isn’t uncommon. Slow processing speed often shows up alongside other learning differences, and it’s not uncommon for kids to experience more than one area of difficulty at the same time. For example, ADHD frequently co-occurs with slow processing speed. While ADHD is more about attention, focus and self-regulation, the added challenge of needing more time to take in or respond to information can complicate things even further. People with ADHD might struggle to get started on tasks or finish them quickly enough, especially in environments that demand fast thinking or rapid responses.
Dyslexia is another common co-occurring condition. Since dyslexia affects reading and language processing, slow processing speed can make decoding words or understanding text more time-consuming. Dysgraphia, which impacts writing skills, can also overlap—making it harder to get thoughts onto paper quickly or clearly. In some cases, slow processing speed may appear alongside anxiety, especially if the pressure to perform quickly leads to stress or worry. Recognizing these combinations can help tailor support strategies that address the full picture, not just one piece of it.
HOW IS SLOW PROCESSING SPEED DIAGNOSED?
To find out if slow processing speed is what’s really going on, a formal evaluation by a psychologist or other qualified professional is the gold standard. This isn’t your average pop quiz. It includes a full battery of tests that measure cognitive, academic and executive functioning.
The process for diagnosing slow processing speed can involve different types of assessment. Occupational therapist Kyle Welch practices at Little Red Wagon Pediatric Therapy in Fort Worth, which offers specialized services (speech and occupational) for kids in a clinical setting. He says, “A psycho evaluation may be done by a school psychologist. There could be a clinical diagnosis where experts are examining cognitive or sensory delay. An analysis can be done of the child’s academic achievement and/or questionnaires completed by a family member or teacher.”
Part of the evaluation process includes timed tests. These performance tasks help reveal how efficiently your child’s brain is working when the clock is ticking. In addition, the assessor will screen for other possible culprits such as ADHD, learning differences (like dyslexia), or anxiety, to make sure slow processing speed isn’t a symptom of something else entirely.
HOW
DOES SLOW PROCESSING SPEED IMPACT LEARNING AND SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT?
Parents, try to imagine keeping up in a game where everyone gets the rules before you’ve even opened the box. That’s kind of what school can feel like for a kid with slow processing speed. They know the answer but didn’t get it out fast enough before the teacher moved on. They’re doing their best to write the sentence but can’t write as quickly as the other kids. They’re spending so much energy just listening and keeping up that by the end of the day, they feel destined to fail. It can lead to frustration, low confidence, and that heartbreaking “I’m not good at school” feeling—even when they are.
Carson James Boswell is an educational diagnostician at the Key School. She explains that there are many classroom tasks
TIPS FOR PARENTS
7 ways to help your child with slow processing speed excel at home
1. Keep routines simple and predictable. Knowing what to expect helps reduce overwhelm.
2. Break tasks into small, manageable steps. One thing at a time is easier to process than a long list.
3. Give extra time to respond. Be patient and avoid rushing your child when they’re thinking or answering.
4. Use visuals and checklists. Pictures or written reminders can help your child stay on track.
5. Celebrate effort, not just speed. Praise them for trying and sticking with tasks, even if it takes longer.
6. Build in quiet time. Downtime helps your child reset and process their day.
7. Stay calm and encouraging – Your relaxed energy helps them feel safe and supported.
WHAT IS DYSLEXIA?
Popularly, dyslexia is associated with swapping letters or numbers in context, but it’s more complicated than that. Dyslexia is a difference in how some information is processed in the brain. Often, it appears alongside other processing disorders, like ADHD or auditory processing disorder. Individuals can have a processing difference in one area—such as reading, math or writing—or in all areas.
“It’s an unexpected difficulty learning to read and spell, despite getting the same reading instruction everyone else gets,” explains Dr. Sheryl Frierson, medical director of the Luke Waites Center for Dyslexia and Learning Disorders at Scottish Rite for Children in Dallas. “It’s unexpected for a couple of reasons. First of all, it’s not a lack of instruction. It’s not a lack of having other strengths in learning. Oftentimes, individuals with difficulty learning to read due to dyslexia have very high IQs or very advanced vocabulary skills and are able to express their ideas verbally very well. They may have gifts in art, music, math.” They have to be pretty smart to keep up, says Laurie Peterson, founder and executive director of Diagnostic Learning Services, with locations in Fort Worth and Plano, which specializes in diagnosing learning and processing disorders. “In those first three [school] years, we teach phonics the same way we’re teaching letter sounds, but for a child with dyslexia, it’s like we’re teaching it in German. It’s like a different language.”
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF DYSLEXIA?
Mild dyslexia can be easily masked by students who use their comprehension skills to compensate for not being able to decode words. But it can show up early. “He had struggled with switching ‘pa-sketti’ for ‘spaghetti,’ or ‘ma-rote’ for ‘remote,’ but we just thought it was adorable,” says Richardson mom Brandi Nortman, whose son Max was diagnosed in grade school. “We would’ve never thought that’s an early sign of dyslexia.”
“Trouble with rhyming or mispronouncing words is a big one,” says Stacy Cox, a TEA-certified educational diagnostician and owner of the Texas Center for Educational Testing in Flower Mound. She also looks for anxiety associated with reading out loud. “Even in college kids and adults, you can just see the change in their demeanor as soon as you ask them to read.”
But dyslexia can manifest differently in boys and girls which may lead to girls being underdiagnosed. Research suggests that when boys are struggling in class, they’re more likely to disengage in disruptive ways, while in girls, it may be less obvious. Boys may act out or become class clowns to avoid doing things that are hard for them. Girls tend to avoid participating, says Deana Lee, a provider of dyslexia instruction for Little Elementary in Arlington. “The older they get, the more they will avoid,” she says.
IS DYSLEXIA LINKED TO DEPRESSION?
Dyslexia and mental health concerns like depression may appear together because of the stress the condition can cause or the wearing on a child’s self-esteem. “If you do have dyslexia, you’re more likely to be exposed to being misunderstood, having false assumptions about your motivation and your ability to work,” explains Frierson.
The condition may also lead to social isolation, as kids might rather miss school than struggle in front of their peers. “They’ll go to the bathroom a lot during class. They don’t want to participate. If they’re asked to read in front of a class, they’re not going to do that. They’re going to go to the bathroom, need to go to the nurse,
SIGNS OF DEPRESSION
According to Understood For All, Inc., a nonprofit organization providing support and resources for people with learning differences, depression in kids with dyslexia looks pretty much the same as it would in any kid. If you think your child may be depressed, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional.
HERE ARE SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
• Feeling very “down”
• Changes in sleep and eating habits
• Withdrawing from friends or favorite activities
• Refusal to do homework or go to school
• Feelings of hopelessness
or just leave class,” says Lee. This avoidance and procrastination can lead to a cycle of disorganization, anxiety and depression as they get further behind in school.
The older students are when they get diagnosed, the more they struggle with selfesteem. And those feelings can linger at the back of students’ minds long after the struggle is gone. But here’s the good news: Feelings of depression and anxiety can start to turn around on their own when students start to see progress. “That confidence begins to boom,” says Peterson. “The kids are picking up books, and they’re getting excited about reading. It’s phenomenal.”
GETTING TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM
A dyslexia diagnosis gets your student into their school’s program, where they learn to read in a way that makes sense to the dyslexic brain. Students who start in first grade will generally be doing a two-year program that gets them on the same page as their peers by third grade. The older a student is, the longer it can take to get them caught up, which is why Scottish Rite also developed a program for older students, says Frierson.
In addition to learning how to read in a way that makes sense to them, kids with a dyslexia diagnosis get accommodations that make it easier for them to focus on their work without reading getting in the way. This might look like verbal test-taking, more time on tests, getting word banks, or using manipulatives. “When they first begin, we give them a lot of accommodations,” explains Lee, the dyslexia instructor at Little Elementary. “Then, as they go through the program, we start trying to pull those accommodations away to get them more independent.”
Students may continue to use accommodations on tests well after they have outgrown them for daily work, or for subjects other than reading and writing, so their ability to decode doesn’t get in the way of showing mastery in another subject.
Once kids get the right support and start making progress, the change can be almost instant. Easter vividly remembers her son Cooper’s first day in class with a reading specialist. “I picked him up and he was like, ‘Mom! Did you know that dyslexia isn’t being dumb?’ He was just so excited to tell me about these famous people who were dyslexic. By the end of first grade, he was completely back to his normal personality. He loved school. He still talks about first grade as one of his favorite years.”
“When it comes to strengths, competence builds confidence and plants the seeds for lasting growth.”
PEAK UP FOR YOURSELF!”
That’s a command so many of us have heard in life, sometimes lobbed at us by kind-hearted parents, teachers and even coworkers in a well-meaning attempt to push us into self-advocacy. Thankfully, these days we’re learning the importance of giving our children tools and resources that encourage them to constructively state their needs and represent who they are to the world. Otherwise, telling them to speak up for themselves is kind of like asking them to solve a complicated math problem without any strategies for finding the solution.
The ability to self-advocate matters because it allows our kids to problem solve for what they need and know how to ask for help. When they understand their value and can express themselves clearly, they’re able to say yes or no with confidence to big and small decisions, promote or defend themselves and motivate their peers to do what’s right. For children with thinking and learning differences, those skills may translate into explaining a learning disability by sharing how they use their strengths and accommodations to succeed in school. We don’t want our children just along for the ride of life, we want them in the driver’s seat, clearly able to express themselves as best they can to make sure their voice is heard in a productive way.
To learn more about self-advocacy, we reached out to local expert Amy Cushner, associate head of early childhood to sixth grade at the Shelton School in Dallas, a private nonprofit and the largest independent school worldwide for intelligent children with learning differences. She holds an M. Ed., is a certified academic language therapist, qualified instructor in multisensory structured language education programs for written language disorders and is Montessori certified. Perhaps most importantly, she tells us she has “30 years of joyful experience in working with children with learning differences and their families.”
Here’s what she had to say.
Advocacy doesn’t always mean shouting from a stage–sometimes it’s just having the courage to say, “This is what I think, and it matters.”
One of the most significant barriers to student self—advocacy is recognizing when help is needed. As children grow older, how do we, as parents, help them recognize their strengths and struggles? In my experience, when children enter collective education and begin comparing themselves to others, the recognition of their struggles begins. This awareness often stems from our human tendency to notice what we cannot do before recognizing what we can.
As a parent, listen first. Pause. See if more details emerge that help you understand the level of struggle. Then, ask a variation of one of these questions:
• Would you like my help?
• How would you like to handle this?
DFWChild: How early, age-wise, can you start teaching your child to self-advocate, and what does that look like?
AC: Advocacy, simply put, is using language to convey our thoughts. A young child begins developing this ability as language emerges. Even an infant crying is a form of advocacy.
As a child matures and acquires language, “no!” becomes advocacy. It then builds into phrases, sentences and justifications. Ever find yourself justifying to a 5-year-old why it’s bedtime? That 5-year-old is using language as advocacy.
Each experience a child has with advocacy leads to a greater understanding of situational relevance and the guardrails that define what is “appropriate” advocacy.
• Do you want to act on this?
These questions are proactive and create a template for agency. Agency is activation and empowerment. When it comes to strengths, competence builds confidence and plants the seeds for lasting growth. The wise person places themselves in situations where success is achievable.
What should a parent do? Watch. Observe your child. What captures their attention and focus? What do they spend time thinking about or interacting with? These are their strengths. Parents can then provide affordable opportunities to explore these interests. Even if these attempts are not sustainable or successful, they become moments of embodied confidence and self-development.
A note of caution: Showering a child with compliments can create a reliance on others’ opinions, which can lead to a more subjective self-esteem.
How do we help children communicate their needs and rights?
Begin with a family-wide approach to open dialogue–for everyone, not just the adults. Create a mantra or phrase that embraces advocacy with civility. For example: “I see that differently.”
This kind of statement is respectful, opens the door to further discussion, and acknowledges different perspectives. One of my favorite quotes, from an article I read years ago, sums it up beautifully: “Different is not right or wrong. It’s just different.”
How does the ability to speak up positively impact students’ learning, self-image and independence?
I see children as active participants in their learning, and their voices are valued. Speaking up helps them communicate their needs, thoughts and feelings clearly, which fosters independence. By engaging in conversation, asking questions, and making choices, children are not only developing language skills, they are cultivating critical thinking, problem-solving abilities and emotional intelligence. What more could we want?