How to move through
p a r e n tuarln o u t b
BY ALITA BLANCHARD, PARENT COACH
“Breathe. Your kids need you. Not perfect. But you. With your worries. And your laughs. And your fails. And your try agains. Your love. Your showing up. That’s what matters. Breathe, sweet mum.” (Rachel Martin, Finding Joy) Feel like you are overwhelmingly exhausted? You are not alone. Research by a UK children’s charity Action for Children has found more than 80% of parents are struggling with at least one symptom of burnout due to the Covid–19 pandemic.
your GP to discuss Short temper and snapping at your children and partner Low tolerance for irritations Brain fog – memory problems, lack of clarity Heightened sensitivity to your emotions and environment – bright lights, sounds, crowds Increased coping mechanisms – using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope.
According to UK research, more women are likely to be struggling with signs of parental burnout due to the pandemic than men. THE IMPACT OF BURNOUT
‘Burnout’ is said to be caused by a prolonged response to chronic and overwhelming parental stress. The first stage is overwhelming exhaustion. Parents of younger children tend to feel more physically exhausted. Parents of pre–teens and teens may experience more emotional exhaustion because of conflicts with children.
Fear and worry about how to ‘get everything done’ Parents distance themselves from children to preserve energy Loss of fulfilment in parenting Increase in neglect and aggression towards children Increased feelings of shame, distress and guilt Repeating cycle of punishment, shame, exhaustion and sensitivity.
Most common signs include: Disruption to sleep Feeling isolated – a sense of being alone even with others around Anxiety or Depression – symptoms might include low mood, feelings of hopelessness, low self–esteem, lack of energy and problems with sleep. Call
When you have reached this point, it’s time to strip back to basics. Let go of ideals. Find support systems. Nurture yourself in micro moments of self compassion. And yes this all takes work and being somewhat vulnerable. But it’s key to moving through parental burnout.
WHAT IS BURNOUT?
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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES
SUPPORT SYSTEMS ARE KEY You must have some type of support system in parenting to help you through difficult times. Push through your fear and reach out for support.
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Build relationships with people who are on a similar path. Yes it can feel awkward and vulnerable – do it anyway Support systems might look like: Therapists and counselling Building new friendships that feel safe Motherhood support groups Listening partnerships Emotionally supportive coaches Parenting/ Mothers circles. Make small changes: Delegate tasks in the home to partner and kids Have a family circle to discuss the key stress areas and problem solve together Involve the kids in more daily chores and clean up – set expectations and start small. Expect some battles and upsets Cut back on activities and
