On The Coast Families / Aug Sept 2022

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#119 AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2022

FAMILIES Mindfulness

not working?

This could be why

HOW TO MOVE THROUGH

parental burnout

Feel good and look great...

even on a budget

CENTRAL COAST’S FAVOURITE FAMILY MAGAZINE

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

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Welcome

Inside

I was out at lunch over the weekend and heard the term ‘just a mum’ – my heart sank. When did society decide that being a mum/stay–at–home parent wasn’t an important or fulfilling enough role to sustain our focus for those first 5/10/15 years of our babies lives.

Being a mum is by far the most important role in my life and though I have chosen to go back to work, it doesn’t take away from the fact that my first priority before everything, is my kids. Nourishing their body, mind and soul, being their for them, is above all.

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Feel good and look great... even on a budget

8

Mindfulness not ‘working’?

This could be why

10 Coughs and colds, sneeze and wheeze in children

11 The Reading Corner

Raising a child who is grounded within themselves, happy, kind, respectful, confident is not just for the benefit of that child, but it benefits the entire community. Raising a child is shaping the world of tomorrow, we are raising the world leaders of the next generation....how on earth is that not an important role!

Whether you are returning work or not, that is a personal choice or maybe staying at home is not an option for your situation, either way, please don’t ever underestimate the impact you are having on the world by raising a child.

Your role as a parent matters, you are extraordinary Coasties! xx

Art Director/Editor Tanzie Carpenter tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au Production Luke Carpenter luke@onthecoastpublications.com.au Publisher Tanzie Carpenter / 0414 611 851 Luke Carpenter / 0405 449 339 trading as On the Coast Publications ABN 52 212 212 482 PO Box 3251, Bateau Bay NSW 2261 For advertising enquiries advertising@onthecoastpublications.com.au For article contribution enquiries tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au

Tanzie & Luke

12 Beat the winter blues 14 Top 5 tips for investing in property

16 Coffee with a Coastie – Blake Wilton

Printing Spotpress Pty Ltd / 02 9549 1111 Cover image One Million Canaries Photography @onemillioncanaries Imagery ingimage.com and freepik.com Contributors Sam Woods, Jordi Woods, Alexandra Wilson, Dr Georgia Page, Jess Sanford, Sharon Booth, Amanda Irwin, Alita Blanchard, Louise Hurley, Diana Arundell, Cathy Spooner, Kylie Spicer onthecoastpublications.com.au

22 How to move through parental burnout

24 Once Postnatal, Always Postnatal

26 If my blood test is OK – why don’t I feel OK?

28 How to stop being the “good mother”

30 D.I.Y Fibre

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Check out past articles at onthecoastfamilies.com.au @onthecoastfamilies AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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Feel good and look great...

BY SAM AND JORDI WOODS

W

ith all of the demands life can put on our time and budget, it is no wonder many women and mums find themselves putting their needs way down the priority line.

This is not only unfair, it is also not a healthy way to value oneself. Being a mum to adult children I know only to well how true this can be. I (Sam) can clearly remember times when buying a new outfit or having a beauty treatment or hair cut was not something that I could do without thinking or budgeting way in advance.

I have to say working in the fashion industry for over 35 years (much of when my kids were very young) I earned my reputation as “queen of budget style” first hand. Even today, when I don’t have to think as much when shopping for something for myself I still love a bargain!

As long as an item fits well, feels fabulous and is good value then I don’t care where I bought it...in fact the overalls in this image (far right) are from Best & Less and I have worn them to death!

Below are some of my quick and simple tips and “style hacks” to feel and look good on a budget that I personally love to do and find my clients love to try also!

Invest in a hat or cap – It will give your outfit a bit of a wow factor plus they are awesome when you don’t have time to style your hair!

Do a style swap – If you are on a budget (or even if you aren’t) raiding a friend’s wardrobe and letting them do the same to yours is not only fun it is great for the environment too! Sharing clothes means

“

If mumma ain’t happy ain’t no one happy so think about your “you time” as a gift to everyone

VIBRANT CONCEPTS

even on a budget

they get worn more hence, keeping them out of landfill for longer.

Think outside the wardrobe – It isn’t always what we wear that makes us feel stylish. Sometimes just styling our hair in a different way can give us a lift and it doesn’t cost anything except maybe the price of a few bobby pins. There are some great “hair hacks” on the internet these days.

Get out of your exercise gear – It is too easy to fall into the trap that for comfort you need to wear your tights. Grab a pair of your dressy pants or a maxi dress and team them back with a sneaker to dress them down. Or add an old work Blazer back with your pull on pants and a tee for a relaxed but structured style. Unless you are cleaning then why not wear your “good” clothes any and everyday!

Flat lay and photograph outfits – This is something clients actually pay us to do for them because it not only saves them time of a morning getting dressed, it also stops the “what to wear” dilemma that can be frustrating and depressing. Having images of outfit suggestions on hand is a great reference if you get invited somewhere at the last minute too as it not only means you don’t have to panic with “what will I wear” it also stops those impulse buys. Flat laying and “playing stylist” in your closet could possibly unlock items that you forgot you had or make you see them in a whole new light not just they way you have always worn them. TIP: When flat laying outfits be sure to add in accessories and shoes. It is all about creating a total look!

Make a shopping “wish list” – This helps stop those purchases that may seem like a bargain but are really not what your style needs at the moment. When making your wish list use pictures and even brands you may not be able to afford, that way you will be able to keep an eye out for less expensive copies. This process also works

on the law of attraction...watch how quickly items “jump” out at you at the shops or online that you may have other wise missed.

Create a style vision board – We do this a lot for clients in our “Style Update” session as it helps bring to life the pieces, colours and styling you may not normally see yourself wearing. Having images of other people wearing outfits you love is a great way to “mimic” looks and imagine them in your wardrobe. It is also a visual reference as to the types of items you are attracted too so when you come across these pieces you know they will work back for the look you are trying to achieve. The Style Vision Board example featured is actually one I did for myself (Sam) for Autumn/Winter 22. Yes, both Jordi and I actually do this process for ourselves too!

Feeling and looking our best does take some effort but it doesn’t have to be expensive or overly time consuming. A little pre planning and prioritising some “you time” can pay dividends in the long run. I have always said “if mumma ain’t happy ain’t no one happy” so think about your “you time” as a gift to everyone as you won’t be the only one benefiting! :) Vibrantly yours, Sam & Jordi xx

Understanding styling and fashion is one thing. Having a super–natural flair for making everyday people look incredible is another. Once you’ve met Sam and Jordi Woods, it’s hard not to catch their infectious passion for dressing to match your own lifestyle, personality and charisma. Through their consultancy ‘Vibrant Concepts’, Sam and Jordi have transformed the lives of thousands. Let Sam and Jordi show you how to look and feel fabulous everyday at their Style Studio in Erina – learn the art of illusion dressing, colour matching, styling, translating fashion trends and savvy shopping with their unique VC Signature Styling Systems and services that are truly personal and really work! To contact Vibrant Concepts phone 0425 221 676.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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New stores at West Gosford Village!

Mintus is pleased to present the latest expansion of the multi– million dollar redevelopment for West Gosford Village!

Positioned in a high–profile location on the junction of Central Coast Highway, and Brisbane Water Drive, the gateway to Woy Woy, Ettalong, Umina, and Terrigal, West Gosford Village offers unrivalled access for Central Coast communities in NSW. The refurbishment, which includes a new dining precinct, childcare and medical centres (opening later this year),

and speciality retailers, will cement West Gosford Village as the preferred destination to shop, dine, and catch up with family and friends.

Welcome and congratulations to our newest retailers: Subway Grill’d Mad Mex Three Times Thai Restaurant Sushi Hub Fortune Café Eco Chic Hair Boutique Moe & Co In N Out Mobile Michel’s

Baker’s Delight West Gosford Newsagency TSG Tobacco Station

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This is an exciting milestone for West Gosford Village. We look forward to delivering a must–visit destination for families and visitors of all ages, providing a great shopping and dining experience The community of West Gosford and surrounding area of the Central Coast are spoilt for choice with these latest stores openings joining the strong performing Coles supermarket, Hungry Jacks, Australia Post, Amcal Pharmacy and Rajdhani Indian Restaurant.

“Mintus’ continued investment in West Gosford Village shows the commitment we have to the Centre and local area”, says Ben Stewart, Director – Retail and Residential at Mintus.

Follow @ WestGosfordVillage on Facebook or visit www.westgosfordvillage.com.au for more details.

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O N T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

“This is an exciting milestone for West Gosford Village. We look forward to delivering a must–visit destination for families and visitors of all ages, providing a great shopping and dining experience”.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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Mindfulness not ‘working’?

This could be why

BY ALEXANDRA WILSON (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW USYD)

The term ‘mindfulness’ has become kind of a buzz word in popular culture. Many people have heard of mindfulness and perhaps even done a bit of practice. However, I hear from many of my clients that they have tried mindfulness and it ‘didn’t work’.

Maybe they found it frustrating because their mind would not ‘be quiet’. I hear from some that they were expecting to feel relaxed, but they didn’t (or they felt more stressed!). For some, they find it boring or struggle to stay awake throughout a practice.

What is consistent however, is that misunderstandings about mindfulness give people unrealistic expectations about the practice. Sometimes the way mindfulness is taught is too simplistic, and omits some skills that are core within the practice.

My favourite definition of mindfulness is – mindfulness is paying attention in the present moment, moment by moment, with awareness and without judgement.

(Jon Kabat–Zinn).

In other words, mindfulness is paying attention to whatever is in the present moment, and how this may change moment by moment.

Mindfulness most literally means

‘awareness’. However, mindfulness is way more than that!

‘TWO WINGS OF THE DOVE’ This is how many experienced mindfulness teachers explain mindfulness it actually has two vital elements.

The first essential element of mindfulness is awareness If we are not aware of something, we cannot begin to consider how to approach, respond or change it. All change starts with awareness.

When we start practicing mindfulness, we usually practice becoming more aware of our internal and external experiences.

This could be using guided mindfulness

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

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Regular, short mindfulness practices have shown to be more effective than longer, irregular practice practices focused on breath, sounds, sensations, thoughts, or any other internal or external experiences.

Practicing awareness is essential in developing mindfulness however it is only the beginning!

What many people start to struggle with as they develop awareness, is they

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become more aware of things that are uncomfortable for them. For example, they become more aware of painful thoughts, emotions or physical sensations.

I’ve had many clients tell me as they practice mindfulness they actually feel worse! This can be the reason many stop practicing, before they’ve had a chance to expand their practice and feel the benefits.

The second essential element of mindfulness is non–judgement This is the element that is often left out of brief mindfulness training.

Building non–judgement is much harder and takes a lot more practice than building awareness. But it is this part of mindfulness that is truly transformative.

Developing and practicing non– judgement involves noticing and challenging our automatic judgment impulses. As humans, we tend towards judgement very easily. So to practice non– judgement we are pushing against years of habit, it can be tricky!

Practicing non–judgment is like working a muscle, to start with it’s hard and frustrating. We notice how unconditioned we are in this skill.

However, with regular training and consistency, we start to notice small changes.

As we practice non–judgment, we start to notice we are seeing the world in less ‘black and white’ terms. We start to see everything is nuanced and complex (how it really is).

We start to see others through a different lens of non–judgment (or at least less judgment!) and then we also start to see ourselves through that same lens.

We become more understanding of why we do the things we do, whilst also being aware of how we can and should change.

Many people think non–judgment means accepting everything, or not pushing for change in any way. But this is not correct. When we start to see things as they are, without the limitations of our previous judgements, we can see effective ways forward towards change. Non– judgement and awareness increase the likelihood of change.

HOW TO PRACTICE Guided mindfulness apps and resources can be a great start but try adding these tips to your next practice.

Choose an ‘anchor’ in your mindfulness practice to focus on – this is how we build awareness and we use the anchor to notice when we are no longer focused on the present.

Common anchors are breath, sounds, or other physical sensations Start to focus on your anchor Notice when your mind or focus drifts away from your anchor but don’t judge it!

Choose a non–judgement phrase or a mantra that you can say to yourself when your attention drifts – eg. ‘This is ok’; ‘And now this’; ‘Isn’t that interesting that I am struggling to stay focused’ Notice what you say to yourself when you are struggling to focus –Are you speaking to yourself negatively? Are you judging your experience? Are you trying to make something happen?

Practice noticing and bringing non– judgement to your judgment! See if you can tap into a more compassionate internal voice to challenge the judgemental one.

“

My favourite definition of mindfulness is that mindfulness is paying attention in the present moment, moment by moment, with awareness and without judgement (Jon Kabat–Zinn) have shown to be more effective than longer, irregular practice. So try to practice a few minutes most days without judging the outcome!

An attitude that’s helpful when practicing mindfulness is a ‘non–striving approach’. This means we let go of trying to make anything happen. We let go of any expected or desired outcomes, and just let it be whatever it will be today.

If you want to take a deep dive into mindfulness practice that incorporates BOTH awareness and non–judgment, a great resource is www.soundstrue.com Also check out our website at www.mindfulrecovery.com.au for more blogs and videos about how mindfulness can help improve mental health!

Happy practicing!!!!

Mental Health Access Line (Central Coast): 1800 011 511 Lifeline: 13 14 24

Regular, short mindfulness practices

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Mindful Recovery Services: www.mindfulrecovery.com.au or (02) 4660 0100 Alexandra (Alex) Wilson holds a Bachelor of Social Work from the University of Sydney (2003) and is the owner of Mindful Recovery Services. Mindful Recovery Services is a private practice providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents and adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness,and is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, 2 young boys, and a cheeky puppy named Axel.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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Coughs and colds, sneeze and wheeze in children

BY DR GEORGIA PAGE

When it comes to the number of respiratory infections in our community – this year is a big one. Due to the Covid–19 pandemic over the last 2 years, we have had limited exposure to influenza and other respiratory viruses.

This reduced exposure means reduced immunity, especially for younger children, resulting in a large number of respiratory infections this winter.

As a parent it can be stressful having a sick child but fortunately most cases can be managed at home with fluids, rest and pain relief. On some occasions, however, your child may need to seek medical advice, especially if symptoms are not improving or getting worse.

Acute Respiratory infections (ARI’s) is the term given to infections of the upper and lower respiratory tract such as throat, sinuses, middle ear, airways and lungs. They are the most common cause of illness in children under 5, who average three to six episodes of ARI’s every year. Some unlucky children in their first year of day care can get up to 10 ARI’s. The majority come from a viral cause such as rhinovirus , respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), parainfluenza and influenza virus, adenovirus, and coronavirus infections. Symptoms can include cough, sneezing, blocked or runny nose, sore throat, and fever. Other symptoms included fatigue, muscles aches and pains, headache, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, and difficulty breathing, tight chest or wheezing.

Most cases of ARI’s get better within 1 – 2 weeks by treating your child’s symptoms at home. But how do you know when to seek medical advice, speak with or see your GP or attend the

emergency department? The Sydney Children’s hospital recommends:

1 Severely unwell children – Call triple zero (000) if you child requires urgent medical attention, with symptoms such as difficulty breathing and drowsiness.

2 Mild symptoms – such as a cough, runny nose, slight fever and sore throat.

Have a Covid test – Rapid antigen test (RAT) or PCR Keep your child comfortable at home with paracetamol or ibuprofen, plenty of fluids and rest Most ARI’s are caused by a virus which clears up by itself and do not require antibiotics. Antibiotics are only used to treat bacterial infections Symptoms may last 1 –2 weeks, but sometimes it can take 2 – 3 weeks for other symptoms to settle such as cough.

3 If concerned your child is not getting better or has prolonged fevers.

Contact your GP. Always phone your GP first before visiting the medical practice if you have respiratory symptoms. They can conduct a telehealth appointment or may arrange to see you. Most practices prefer you to have done a Covid–19 test before attending the practice.

Your GP can examine your child – check their ears, throat and listen to their chest to check if additional medical treatment is required If you cannot contact your GP or do not have a GP, call Health Direct 24/7 on 1800 022 222 for expert advice from a nurse over the phone.

4 If you are still worried about your child and they are having difficulty breathing, are drowsy, passing less urine and not taking in fluids, then go to the Emergency Department or call triple zero 000. The emergency department are seeing high volumes of patients at present so waiting times may be longer, with the sickest patients being seen first.

There are many ways to prevent you or your child’s risk of acute respiratory infections. These include: Influenza vaccines are available for all children over the age of 6 months.

It can reduce your child’s risk of infection and severe illness due to the flu. We also recommend all adults receive the influenza vaccine also to help reduce the spread Covid–19 vaccination for children over the age of 5 and adults Ensure other recommended childhood vaccinations are up to date Practice social distancing Regular hand washing Avoid touching surfaces, shaking hands, sharing toys Limit contact with other people with respiratory infections.

To avoid passing respiratory infections to others, you should; Stay at home and avoid contact with other people until you or your child’s respiratory symptoms have improved and fevers have resolved for more than 24 hours. However, if you have tested positive for Covid–19, self– isolation is required for 7 days Limit contact with other persons in your household – wear a facemask (not for children under 2 years), cough or sneeze into elbow or tissue, regular hand washing, wash surfaces, and social distancing. This can prove to be difficult with young children and babies!

Basically, common sense and good hygiene will help prevent passing of viruses.

We hope you and your family get through this winter without too many acute respiratory infections and the above information will help guide you.

Make sure you are armed with all the recommended vaccinations, practice good hygiene and rest at home if you or your child have any symptoms. If you have any concerns please contact your friendly health professional.

Dr Georgia Page enjoys all aspects of general practice and has been working at Your Family Doctors at Erina for the last 12 years. The practice has a fabulous team and they pride themselves on delivering good quality health care, with that special personal touch. For more information call 4365 4999, check the website www.yourfamilydoctors.com.au or like them on Facebook.

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

reading

the corner My Extraordinary Mum, written by Dani Vee, is from a little girl’s point of view as she introduces us to her wonderful mum. She explains that her mum has a few quirky behaviours, including trying to “save every living creature she finds” and breakdancing to the radio at the grocery store, not minding who stops to stare. The book shows us a different kind of groove to the daily drop off / pick up / school lunches and cleaning rosters that we might often fall into, such as the duo’s “road trips without a map or destination in mind”.

The message that we can get loud and clear from Dani’s fun filled and colourful story is that it’s ok not to be the same as everyone else’s family, it’s ok to be quirky or a bit different and not every day needs to be driven by routine. It’s a gentle nod to individuality, remembering who we are and seizing the moment.

The illustrations, by Alexandra Colombo

BY JESSICA SANFORD

are bright and fun. On every page the mother and daughter are stylish, yet casual, and we’re offered detailed snapshots into their world, including mum’s “drawings all over her skin, a canvas all of her own.”

I enjoyed reading this book to my two.

And they liked it too. Both were keen to learn more about the drum circles that happen under the stars passed bedtime!

A lovely addition to the children’s bookshelves for sure.

Just as the bestselling worldwide smash hit My Shadow Is Pink challenged tired stereotypes of gender, so does Larrikin House’s new release My EXTRAordinary

Mum by debut author and prolific podcaster Dani Vee. In light of recent events, the conversation about the perceptions of women has never been so important. ‘My EXTRAordinary Mum’ is a fun, feminist and quirky story about a mother who with her daughter reclaims her identity after motherhood. Dani Vee was tired of how mothers are portrayed in books (in fairytales they are dead, missing and evil or they’re the nurturer reigning in the fun!) This mum is fun, engaged and adventurous! She rollerblades, jumps in the water without her swimmers, rock climbs and takes her daughter on adventures without a destination in mind!

Jessica Sanford (AKA Jessica Anscombe) is a librarian and writer living on the Central Coast. She has a passion for literature and writes fiction and non–fiction. Jessica was the winner of the Wyong Writers’ 2021 Short Story Competition and has also been longlisted for the Furious Fiction prize. You can read her short stories on her website jessicasanfordwriter.com. You’ll also find her over on Instagram @jessicasanford_

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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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winter blues

Beat the

BY SHARON BOOTH

Extra blankets are on and the slow cooker has made its annual reappearance. Even with our Aussie version of winter the chilly mornings can make us want to pull the covers back over our heads and press snooze…again. And leaving work, even on time at 5pm to find it’s already dark outside might mean we’ve missed a good dose of sunshine for the day. And after two years of Covid and its disruptions, looking to the coming winter months may leave us at times feeling discouraged…gloomy…blue.

I’ve been asked to share a little piece about beating the winter blues*. I’m thinking about this opportunity as an invitation. To pause for a moment, to notice our thoughts and fill our hearts with ‘kindness’. To reflect on how we’re doing, and what might support, nourish and grow us, even through this wintery season. Following are a few simple ideas about this. They won’t be for everyone, but my hope is that each point might encourage you to think intentionally about your own self–care this winter.

Meet with kindness daily What if you cared for yourself this winter the way you care for a loved one?

If you did so, what foods might you be

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

eating and enjoying? How much sleep would you be getting? How would you talk to yourself?

What is something you might say to yourself that is compassionate, helpful and supportive, even now as you read this?

Keep moving and doing Physical exercise is really important for supporting our mood. Research also shows that when we are feeling ‘blue’, exercise, self–care and the activities that we usually enjoy can start to drop off our routines. Whilst winter might reduce some of the options for favourite sports or activities, with some creativity we may discover winter’s new offerings.

Perhaps you might brainstorm a list of ways to get moving, and to enjoy pleasant activities with a friend or family member. Then plan for them in your diary. Are there places you’d like to visit?

A gallery? Museum? Could you learn an instrument or take a cooking class, check out a new park, or a bushwalk?

Stretch, sing, walk a dog, pray, have a bubble bath, give a massage…Moving our bodies, and making plans for fun and participation, can help lift the blues.

Visit with nature I know it’s cold out, but let’s rug up and head outdoors when the sun is shining. Pause. Notice. Breathe in.

Exhale. The natural environment can nourish us whether we’re alone on a walk, with a friend or together as a family.

And speaking of family, no matter what the season, experience has taught

me that kids and beach walks will always result in the need for a towel on the way home. But there is loads to do outdoors with kids in winter on the Coast, even without the swim. Getting into nature, even during the cooler months helps kids learn about the world and to appreciate its varying landscapes. I have fond memories of being rugged up for wintery walks on the beach, bucket in hand, pink–nosed, marvelling at how my bit of found woody treasure looked a lot like a duck, and gathering a collection of particularly smooth stones.

We might rake up the leaves and then have a leaf toss before putting it all in the compost. Walk through the bush and notice the way you can feel your own warm breath in the cool air. Feel the textures of leaves and rocks. Listen to the bush sounds. Spot birds. Cloud watch.

Nature provides an endless sensory playground and opportunity to be with ourselves and one another in moments of curiosity, discovery and joy.

Create a culture of gratitude This seems to be the often trending topic in many magazine and social media articles (I’ve even seen gratitude journals at KMart). But bringing attention and awareness to the good things that are present and expressing appreciation to the people around us, nourishes our hearts and relationships (and journaling about that can help us capture it).

Gratitude doesn’t have to focus on ‘big’ things. The little things count. Right now I am grateful for my heated throw rug.

Noticing the new artistry of winter’s landscapes can remind us to gather the

evidence of the good in each season, even alongside its difficulties and disappointments. And that can help us maintain a balanced and helpful style of thinking. It’s not about positive thinking, but rather, a genuine attending to and gathering of the truth that life, while often challenging, also provides moments to nourish and support us.

Connection Be intentional about connection. After all the isolation of Covid some of us are still getting back into the rhythm of socialising. Going out can be such a treat, but so can simple gatherings over warm cuppas and board games. Who might you be able to call for a catch up? It could be a chance to prepare a special meal, or just meet for hot chips on the beach. It could be about (finally) arranging a proper date night with your significant other.

Let’s be present with each other in ways that are do–able, meaningful and authentic.

Get creative Whatever the weather, creativity can find a place to play. Is there a creative part of your life that would love some time and attention this season? How might you go about making this happen?

I’ve never heard a very little kid say they are not creative. Yet as adults we can be put off creative activities by the inner critic. I’d like to encourage you to give yourself permission to experiment and play. You might find that fun can be experienced in the process itself.

What medium of expression might you experiment with? Paint, chalk on pavement, Lego, collage, scribbles and doodles, clay, poetry, music making (could you create a ‘blues beating’ playlist?)

“

Gratitude doesn’t have to focus on ‘big’ things.

The little things count

Support someone else to feel connected, too We all have a neighbour or acquaintance that we could check in with. We might say yes to an opportunity to volunteer, or give where we can, be it time, a smile or practical help. When we contribute to the lives of others in healthy ways it’s a win–win. It could be as simple as sending a text to encourage someone who is having a challenging time, or just to let someone know about the ways they are appreciated (support+ connection + gratitude!)

Allow the focus to be on enjoying the playfulness and discovery in the making.

Collective art projects can be great fun too. How about a collage of found objects from a family nature walk?

Some of my favourite art making has been collaborative splat painting with a friend. My kitchen counter was covered with an old sheet, we made a big mess in the process, and the resulting canvas was a reminder of our friendship and laughter.

Change it up?

The often slower pace accompanying winter can mean less distraction. And in these times the appearance of the blues might also be a message that some change or action is needed. It could be that we are feeling ‘stuck’ and need to brainstorm some options, or problem solve a situation. It might mean getting that tax return out of the way, or sorting out a cupboard that’s become a daily frustration. It could speak to a need to keep growing through a new hobby or opportunity at work…Sort? Organise?

Step up? Try out? Sometimes the blues ease when we stop thinking over the irritations that are nudging us and do something about them. Even a little action step like making a list might help us feel better.

Make a special space cosy With more time indoors let’s be intentional about creating comforting spaces that welcome us home. It doesn’t have to cost a lot or look like an interior design magazine. I have a book on my coffee table called “The Little Book of Hygge”. Hygge is a Danish word for a mood of cosiness with feelings of wellness and contentment. Author Meik Wiking writes “Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience rather than about things. It is about being with people we love… a feeling of being safe”.

Considering such as space might involve textured blankets, favourite mugs, books, candles, slippers, fluffy socks, fragrant teas or a few squares of dark chocolate.

Create a special place to snuggle up with yourself, or with a loved one. And adapting our spaces to work for us can also provide a sense of control over the

things that we can change – even if the sky is grey.

The winter blues may come, but perhaps we could also welcome this season with its full palette of colours and textures. Winter brings with it a different kind of energy and beauty, offering its own unique gifts. Perhaps something has come up for you while you’ve taken the time to read this… an idea, an action in support of your wellbeing, nourishment and growth for these months ahead…

Thank you for reading. I’ll put the kettle on. Wishing you a season of warmth, wellness and kindness, Sharon. *PS. Hey dear reader! I want to be really clear and respectful that there is a difference between feeling ‘blue’ and having a mental health diagnosis, such as depression or anxiety. Temporary blue feelings are normal from time to time, they don’t get in the way of being able to attend to daily tasks, and they lift when we respond to ourselves in supportive ways.

Mental health diagnoses are medical issues and usually require professional support.

None of the notes in this little article are meant to minimise genuine difficulties and hardships. Please, if you are struggling, know that you are not alone, you are worthy and deserving of support. Reach out to your GP, or a site like The Australian Psychological Society to talk to someone.

And if you or someone you care about needs urgent crisis support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Sharon Booth is an experienced registered psychologist working with a wonderful team of clinicians in private practice at The Heart and Mind Collective. For more information about our therapists and services please visit www.heartandmindcollective.com.au or call our admin & client relationship team on 02 4327 9435.

WANT TO CONTRIBUTE? ask us how enquiries@onthecoastpublications.com.au

on the

coast FAMILIES

CENTRAL COAST LIFESTYLE MAGAZINES

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

13

Top 5 tips for investing in property

BY AMANDA IRWIN, RAY WHITE LONG JETTY

It’s important to understand what you want to achieve with your property goals. From first home buyers to seasoned property investors, real estate agents are here to not only assist in your property transaction but also to support and guide you along the way.

Here are our Top 5 Tips for those looking to get their property investment off on the right foot.

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

1

FIND THE RIGHT PROPERTY It seems obvious, but the success and failure of your investment could hinge entirely on the selection strategy that goes into finding your property. This is your chance to do research into a variety of different factors, some of these are listed below: Know your budget and stick to it.

Seeking a pre–approval from your bank is a great way to define exactly how much you have to play with.

Research the right neighbourhood.

Look at future development applications and potential schools and

infrastructure. By spending a little extra time researching the right area early on can save you both time and money down the track.

“

the longer you can afford to hold onto your property the greater your chances become of turning a profit

RAY WHITE LONG JETTY Think with your head and not your heart. This is a financial decision, and it needs to be treated that way.

Remember you aren’t looking for a family home; you are looking for a property with future growth potential.

Understand the current investment climate, trends, and future predictions.

Broader external factors can have a major impact on your investments.

Consult a professional. You can’t be expected to know all the ins and outs of a diverse, constantly changing property environment. By consulting a property specialist from a local real estate agency, you can be sure you are getting the right advice from the right people.

does all that mean? Essentially you can’t simply rely on and plan around your current situation. It’s important to consider career changes, growth within your family and changes in your financial situation before you commit to a long term investment like property.

2

5

KNOW YOUR NUMBERS On top of budget, it’s important to understand the variety of factors that could impact your investment revenue.

Rental potential, rates, body corporate, general repairs and maintenance costs are just a few of the ongoing charges you need to keep front of mind when hunting for an investment property. Always ensure your budget doesn’t just account for your deposit and repayments, these ongoing costs have a tendency to sneak up on unsuspecting investors.

3

THINK LONG TERM Property is a long–term investment, and if you are looking to make fast money, property investment is probably not for you. Generally speaking, the longer you can afford to hold onto your property the greater your chances become of turning a profit. But what

4

GET YOUR LOAN STRUCTURE RIGHT There are more loan varieties today than ever before and finding the right one for you is key. Different loans offer different features like interest rates, discounts, payment options, interest– only and redraw facilities. Choose your lender carefully and make your objectives clear when choosing a loan.

FIND A GOOD PROPERTY MANAGER A property manager is your saving grace in the hustle and bustle world of property investment. Property managers are your number one source of support and guidance through your investment journey. Your property manager can provide any advice you need, assist you with finding and keeping the right tenants, take care of maintenance issues

and the day–to–day management of your investment. But perhaps more than anything else, your property manager can help you get the most from your investment, which at the end of the day is key.

Investing in property, especially for a beginner, can be a daunting process. It’s important to have the support around you to ensure you get the most return from your investment. Chat to your local property specialist today about how you can start making your property dreams a reality.

To get the right advice on investing, contact the team at Ray White Long Jetty.

Phone 02 4360 4360 | longjetty.nsw@raywhite.com raywhitelongjetty.com.au Ray White Long Jetty is a locally owned and operated Central Coast real estate agency located in Long Jetty. With a combined 60+ years of sales and property management experience, we are trusted in our community to have your most important asset nurtured and taken care of. We’re here to help with all your property needs, contact us on 02 4360 4360 or longjetty.nsw@raywhite.com Visit us at raywhitelongjetty.com.au or 1/393 The Entrance Road, Long Jetty NSW.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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coffee

Coastie WITH A

BLAKE WILTON

SURF PHOTOGRAPHER/VIDEOGRAPHER Welcome to Coffee with a Coastie. As we chat with Central Coast local Blake Wilton. Who at 21 has been behind the camera lens capturing local surfers since the age of 14 and more recently working with Kyal and Kara on their Blue Lagoon build that aired on Channel 9.

We were grateful to have been given the opportunity to sit down and chat with Blake about his journey, growing up on the Central Coast and his advice to the next budding 14 year old. For any younger members of the family or older for that matter that want to be inspired by more of what Blake had to say, be sure to listen to the full interview online at onthecoastpublications.com.au/coffeewith-a-coastie-podcast/blake-wilton You recently had the opportunity to share your creative journey live on stage at the adobe make it event in both Sydney and Melbourne. Can you tell us a little bit about how that opportunity came about?

When I first started out filming, I would go to the local North Shelly board riders event and do lots of filming. It was there I met Jamie Ragen who works for Adobe. We developed a great relationship

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ON T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

over the years. He invited me to share my story on stage at the first Adobe Make It event in over 2 years since Covid.

It was cool to share my journey since the age of 14, though very nerve racking and scary at the same time.

I watched the show reel you did for the adobe make it event and understand you watched it over 250 times. At the beginning is a long haired little dude saying ‘I’m Blake Wilton, I’m 14 years old and I’m a surf photographer’. How do you feel when you watch that moment of you at 14 saying that?

It’s really cool to look back on that. I think it was from a school project at the time. I was encouraged to put it in there albeit I found it cringe worthy at the time I’m so glad I did. Jamie wanted me to put something together that really showed where I’d come from. It’s a moment that shows I was as committed and passionate about it then as I am now.

“

I like to think that’s half my success, being able to talk to people and communicate with people You obviously don’t have a problem saying yes. Where do you think the ability to just say yes comes from and what is your advice to someone who is afraid to say yes?

I’m not sure, it might have come from my parents not being so outgoing. So, at 14, I was being a bit rebellious. I was a very outgoing kid. I was always happy to talk to adults when all my friends wouldn’t. I like to think that’s half my success, being able to talk to people and communicate with people. I think you’re going to be bummed if you say no. Saying

yes to things and just having a crack and learning from it is seriously the best. I can’t recommend it more. Just have a go. Who cares? If you stuff up, you learn something new.

You’ve said you credit your success to the individuals around you on the Central Coast. What advice can you give someone about building a network of like–minded people around them?

I give most of my success to the relationships I’ve built. My biggest jobs have come from chatting to someone I don’t know, telling them what I do and then six months down the track because you were nice to this person, as that’s just who I am, or someone has put in a good word. They’ve said he is a good kid, give him a go and then I’ve tried my best and worked my hardest and that’s paid off for me.

What is your vision for the future of film on the Central Coast?

It’s just expanding as more people are moving here. It’s going to be a real hot spot. People are going to realize that they don’t need to go to Sydney to shoot their TV ads. They don’t need to go to Brisbane to do something in a studio there. They can do it all here and that’s just not film

and photography or stuff like that. There are creatives from sculptures, painters, artists and musicians, everything it’s great. It’s good to see.

“

Don’t be scared to ask for what you want, reach out to people you never know who might be open to working with you With all the work you have done both in Australia and abroad. What’s been your favourite project to work on and why?

A few years back now I did a six–week trip in Indonesia with Riley Laing. It was my first big Indonesia trip. We went to a few islands; I was still in school. It was so cool to jump islands for almost two months and create a film we were stoked with. In Bali we got talking to one of the surf photographers and he invited us to come to Telo Island and stay in this brand new resort for two weeks for free.

We got flown out in a private plane to this island and got put up in these crazy villas. We were so lucky they had a spare spot, and we just created content for them.

Finally, Blake’s words of wisdom.

What advice would you give someone that’s 14 and thinking they would love to get into photography, film or anything for that matter?

I think starting early, stop thinking about it and start. The earlier you get in and the earlier you start, the more ahead you’re going to be down the line, I feel I fell into this by accident. Don’t be scared to ask for what you want, reach out to people you never know who might be open to working with you.

There was so much more packed into our chat with Blake like equipment to use if you’re starting out, his work with Kyal and Kara, to what he’s currently working on and much, much more. We can’t recommend it enough.

You can listen to the full interview online at https://onthecoastpublications.com.au/blog/podcast/blake-wilton/ or scan the QR code.

Very inspirational!

n

Luke with Blake Wilto

If you would like to check out Blake’s work search @_blakewilton_ on Instagram or go to his website at blakewilton.video

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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Let us be the generation that stands up to cytomegalovirus (CMV), a highly contagious viral infection that can harm an unborn child. rn more about a research study for a potential vaccine and how you can join.

Let us be the generation that stands up to cytomegalovirus (CMV), a highly contagious viral infection that can harm an unborn child.

Who can join this clinical trial?

MV? Learn more about a research study forThis a potential vaccine and how youthis can join. trial is looking for volunteers.

To join trial, common virus that is often overlooked because

eople who get it rarely show symptoms.

you must be: A woman between 16-40 years of age

oman becomes infected with CMV while she is can join this clinical trial?

What is CMV? In goodWho health she can pass the infection to her unborn baby.

This trial is looking for volunteers. To join this trial, CMV is a common virus that is often overlooked because In closeyou contact with at least one child 5 years of age ause her child to suffer long-term disability due must be: healthy people who get it rarely show symptoms. efects, including hearing loss, or even death in for atbetween least 8 hours week, if age 20 or older or younger A woman 16-40 a years of age But if a woman becomes infected with CMV while she is re cases.

Not pregnant planning on becoming pregnant In goodorhealth pregnant, she can pass the infection to her unborn baby.

Let us be the generation that stands up to cytomegalovirus (CMV), months In next close 9 contact with at least one child 5 years of age This can cause her child to suffer long-term disability due within the ent available? a highly contagious viral infection that can harm8an unborn child. to birth defects, including hearing loss, or even death in hours a week, if age 20 or older or younger for at least Learn more about a research study for a potential vaccine and how you can join. currently approved veryno severe cases. vaccines or treatments Not pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant Diseaseswithin do not to prevent CMV. That is why it is so important thediscriminate— next 9 months Is treatment available? and neither should clinical trials ork together to make sure investigational Who can join this clinical trial?

What is CMV? There are currently no approved vaccines or treatments This trial is looking for volunteers. To join this trial, CMV is a common virus that is often overlooked because are safe and effective.

Moderna is committed to researching safe and effective

be: people get it rarely show symptoms.Diseases do you notmust discriminate— available to prevent CMV. Thathealthy is why it is who so important mRNA-based vaccines and between therapies bring A woman 16-40to years of agebetter health But if a woman becomes infected with CMV whileand she isneither should clinical trials that we work together to make sure investigational he CMVictory Trial?

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of this clinical trial is to evaluate the efficacy and to birth defects, including hearing loss, or even death in at least 8 hours ato week, if age 20 or health older or younger for mRNA-based vaccines and therapies bring better an investigational vaccine called What is the CMVictory Trial?mRNA-1647 very severe cases.

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The goal of this clinical trial is to evaluateavailable? the efficacy and Is treatment requirements with you and can answer any questions you There are currently no approved vaccines or treatments safety of an investigational vaccine called mRNA-1647 Diseases do not discriminate— available to prevent CMV. That is why it is so important The study the doctor will discuss additional participation may have during trial. against CMV infection. should clinical trials that we work together to make sure investigational requirements and withneither you and can answer any questions vaccines are safe and effective.

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you may have during the trial. mRNA-based vaccines and therapies to bring better health

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Holly 0499 221 124Oxman Interested? that birth defects globally.CMV is the number one infection Contact the clinical research site listed below: 0499 221 124 holly.oxman@paratusclinical.com causes birth defects in the U.S. and one holly.oxman@paratusclinical.com of the most common infectious causes of Holly Oxman birth defects globally. Learn more at CMVictory.com/au 0499 221 124

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mRNA-1647-P301_Flyer_AUS_English_V2_dated23August2021 mRNA-1647-P301_Flyer_AUS_English_V2_dated23August2021 mRNA-1647-P301_Flyer_AUS_English_V2_dated23August2021

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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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Have you heard of Kindship?

It is Australia’s first social networking app built by and exclusively for parents raising children with disabilities, delays, and neurodiversity.

An App that offers mums and dads a safe, private, and fundamentally kind space to connect with and learn from like–minded parents on similar journeys.

The uniqueness of Kindship?

Tara Thompson, a member of the founding team sheds some light on the wonderful uniqueness that Kindship offers families all around Australia.

One of the things that makes Kindship special is our celebration of parent knowledge sharing. We know that our mums and dads spend more time researching than resting, especially in the early days, and want to make finding the right answer easier. You’ll find parents on the app who are successful, compassionate, generous, and oh– so–wise when it comes to first–hand knowledge of important topics.

Kindship is all about bridging the gap of isolation that many parents on a disability parenting journey often face.

We want our parents to feel seen, heard and supported by a community of others who just ‘get it’.

There is a little something for everyone on our app.

Audio rooms – We run daily audio rooms with different themes and purposes. Ranging from daily check–ins where parents can hop on for a chat and wellbeing check–in to themed audio rooms that inform, connect and inspire.

Kindship feed – An interactive feed which provides 24/7 support for parents to ask questions, share experiences and offer valuable advice.

Kindship meet ups – Our aim is to have meet ups hosted weekly all around Australia to eliminate the isolation that many parents feel. Face to face connections with an opportunity to form local friendships. Currently a weekly Friday meet up happening on the coast, so hop on the app to find out more!

Chat messaging – Connect with others via our app messaging, options to also create group message threads based on location, diagnosis, and friendships.

Kindship founder story Kindship’s story started with a passion for parent advocacy and a dream to change the world. Growing up with undiagnosed Autism our CEO, Summer Petrosius, recognised and wanted to do something about the isolation and loneliness experienced

“

Kindship is all about bridging the gap of isolation that many parents on a disability parenting journey often face by families living with disabilities.

So, she started talking to parents – literally, hundreds of them, and those conversations led her to Sandy Golder and Steph Wicks.

As founders of one of (if not, the most) successful grassroots parent communities, Sandy and Steph joined Summer as Kindship’s co–founders.

Together with Tara Thompson, Kindship’s head of all things marketing and education (a local Coastie along with Steph), they share an unstoppable passion for supporting parents to build friendships, share knowledge, and truly own the narrative around what raising a child with a disability really looks like.

Join us If you have a child with a delay or diagnosis or are on your way to getting one, there is no need to go through the journey alone.

Hop on to our website to find out more about Kindship or scan our QR code to download our free app!

We can’t wait to see you there xo

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

19

Fast track surgery for your child today on the Central Coast Are you the parent or carer of a child that needs surgery for grommets, tonsils or adenoids?

Have you been facing a long waiting list because you don’t have private health insurance?

You can fast track your child’s surgery through Self Pay Surgery, which is now available at Tuggerah Lakes and Brisbane Waters Private Hospitals.

Self Pay Surgery aims to help those living with pain or conditions requiring surgery by providing streamlined access to surgery without excessive wait times.

With no private health insurance needed, Self Pay Surgery provides patients with packages that include the surgeon’s fees, anaesthetist, hospital stay, diagnostic testing and rehabilitation costs.

With payment options such as Open Pay, prepayment plans or potential options to access superannuation to fund essential surgery, it means the Central Coast community no longer need to wait when it comes to getting the care they need, when they need it.

According to Brisbane Waters Private Chief Executive Officer (CEO) and Director of Clinical Services (DCS) Debbra Ritter Self Pay Surgery means parents and families of loved ones without private health insurance don’t need to put off surgery any longer.

needed due to a lack of private health cover or long waiting lists it is even more painful.

“It is incredibly rewarding to be able to offer our patients this opportunity to get what they need done now so they can get on the road to recovery sooner rather than later.

“From Ear, Nose and Throat surgery to Orthopaedic procedures and Bariatric surgery, this new service offering provides a streamlined, simple way to get your surgery done, your way, at your hospital.”

“As a mother and grandmother myself, I know what it’s like to support a family member experiencing ill–health, you j ust want them to be well and receive the treatment they require quickly,” Ms Ritter said.

Emma of Blue Haven said she didn’t hesitate when the opportunity to book surgery via Self Pay was suggested as an option while in consultation with Dr Indu Gunawardena.

“So when your loved one, like a child, has to experience ill health longer than

“My four year–old son needed adenoids and grommets and we were

We provide a range of NDIS N services across the Central Coast. We’re committed to providing the utmost of service, taking an individualised, caring and empathetic approach. Our team are highly knowledgeable, deeply passionate, NDIS experts and mental Health specialists. Talk to us about your goals.

LIVE YOUR DREAMS WITH COAST & COUNTRY PRIMARY CARE

@ccprimarycare

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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

ccpc.com.au | 02 4365 2294 | ccpc@ccpc.com.au 167B The Entrance Road, Erina NSW 2250

BRISBANE WATERS PRIVATE HOSPITAL

Find out more about the types of procedures that are offered via Self Pay at Brisbane Waters Private Hospital and how to take the next steps via: Brisbane Waters Private Hospital — Self Pay Surgery Find out more about the types of procedures that are offered via Self Pay at Tuggerah Lakes Private Hospital and how to take the next steps via: Tuggerah Lakes Private Hospital – Self Pay Surgery

facing 12 month wait to have it done through the public hospital,” she said.

“We don’t have private health insurance but we didn’t want to wait and I’m so relieved we went through Self Pay Surgery.

“I’d recommend going through Self Pay to others who find themselves in a

similar situation, as I found the whole process from start to finish with Self Pay Surgery was just easy.”

The team were helpful, everything was incredibly efficient and professional and most importantly we got to get our little boy the procedure he needed as soon as possible.”

Does your child need grommet, tonsil, or adenoid surgery?

Are you facing a long waiting list because you don't have health insurance?

That can all change with Self Pay Surgery now available on the Central Coast at Brisbane Waters and Tuggerah Lakes Private Hospitals Now is the time to fast-track treatment within our private hospitals.

Self Pay Surgery provides patients with packages that include the surgeon’s fees, anaesthetist, hospital stay, diagnostic testing and rehabilitation costs.

“

We don’t have private health insurance but we didn’t want to wait and I’m so relieved we went through Self Pay Surgery

NOW AVAILABLE AT

Payment options include Open Pay, prepayment plans or potential options to access superannuation to fund essential surgery.

Get the care you need without the wait, when and where you need it, on the Central Coast. .

With a range of ENT, Orthopaedic, General and Bariatric procedures available, don't delay.

Learn more about Self Pay Surgery at selfpaysurgery.com.au or call 1800 SELF PAY

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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How to move through

p a r e n tuarln o u t b

BY ALITA BLANCHARD, PARENT COACH

“Breathe. Your kids need you. Not perfect. But you.

With your worries. And your laughs. And your fails. And your try agains. Your love.

Your showing up. That’s what matters. Breathe, sweet mum.”

(Rachel Martin, Finding Joy) Feel like you are overwhelmingly exhausted? You are not alone.

Research by a UK children’s charity Action for Children has found more than 80% of parents are struggling with at least one symptom of burnout due to the Covid–19 pandemic.

your GP to discuss Short temper and snapping at your children and partner Low tolerance for irritations Brain fog – memory problems, lack of clarity Heightened sensitivity to your emotions and environment – bright lights, sounds, crowds Increased coping mechanisms – using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope.

According to UK research, more women are likely to be struggling with signs of parental burnout due to the pandemic than men.

THE IMPACT OF BURNOUT

‘Burnout’ is said to be caused by a prolonged response to chronic and overwhelming parental stress. The first stage is overwhelming exhaustion.

Parents of younger children tend to feel more physically exhausted. Parents of pre–teens and teens may experience more emotional exhaustion because of conflicts with children.

Fear and worry about how to ‘get everything done’ Parents distance themselves from children to preserve energy Loss of fulfilment in parenting Increase in neglect and aggression towards children Increased feelings of shame, distress and guilt Repeating cycle of punishment, shame, exhaustion and sensitivity.

Most common signs include: Disruption to sleep Feeling isolated – a sense of being alone even with others around Anxiety or Depression – symptoms might include low mood, feelings of hopelessness, low self–esteem, lack of energy and problems with sleep. Call

When you have reached this point, it’s time to strip back to basics. Let go of ideals. Find support systems. Nurture yourself in micro moments of self compassion. And yes this all takes work and being somewhat vulnerable.

But it’s key to moving through parental burnout.

WHAT IS BURNOUT?

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

SUPPORT SYSTEMS ARE KEY You must have some type of support system in parenting to help you through difficult times. Push through your fear and reach out for support.

“

Build relationships with people who are on a similar path.

Yes it can feel awkward and vulnerable – do it anyway Support systems might look like: Therapists and counselling Building new friendships that feel safe Motherhood support groups Listening partnerships Emotionally supportive coaches Parenting/ Mothers circles.

Make small changes: Delegate tasks in the home to partner and kids Have a family circle to discuss the key stress areas and problem solve together Involve the kids in more daily chores and clean up – set expectations and start small. Expect some battles and upsets Cut back on activities and

commitments Major increase in time outdoors – walking, sitting, being.

IMPROVE PARENTING KNOWLEDGE If your parenting style is creating additional stress and you feel lost and alone: Listen to podcasts that feel supportive Parenting courses and workshops Listen to meditations (I always recommend @insighttimer meditations by Sarah Blondin, Tara Brach and Fleur Chambers).

SELF COMPASSION IS A MUST IN PARENTING Many people carry the heavy weight of perfectionism. And where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking.

The antidote to shame is self compassion. Treating yourself like you would treat a good friend in need.

When those we love fall short, we often make allowances, show grace, and offer support. As mothers, we don’t offer ourselves the same kindness. We tend to magnify our shortcomings. We beat ourselves up, set the expectations far too high, and get caught in the spiral of negative thinking.

Self–compassion encompasses three components: Self–kindness eg. I am doing my best.

There is no such thing as perfect Common humanity (knowing that you are not alone) eg. We all make mistakes. Everyone has tough days Mindfulness (being present in the moment without judgment). eg. I am here right now. I am safe to be me. I am worthy of this time. five long exhales.

YOUR NEEDS MATTER Finding a way to take care of yourself as a parent can be a challenge, but it is possible. You will need to push through feelings of guilt and “wrongness”.

Know this – your needs matter just as much as your childrens: Prioritise rest time – put on a show, put your feet up. Cosy blanket. Hot drink. Notice the guilt and say to yourself “I am worthy of care and rest” Yoga nidra – even 5–10 minutes can help your body to find rest Sitting outside for 10 minutes a day Saying “yes” to things that interest you Saying “no” when you really want to Eating nourishing food Listening to music that brings joy Going to bed early Stretching Watching comedy shows Let go of high expectations imposed by others and by yourself Regular nervous system care practices (Email alitablanchard@gmail.com for ebook on nervous system care).

CONNECTION AND COMMUNITY IS VITAL Build relationships with people who are on a similar path. Yes it can feel awkward and vulnerable – do it anyway.

Say hello to that mum at the park/ cafe/playgroup/online. Get to know each other. Swap recipes and maybe one day, swap childcare Go to a Mothers Circle and practice being vulnerable – sharing stories, crying and laughing, creates a lightness within you, knowing you are not alone and often, connection to other women in supportive spaces

“

Know this – your needs matter just as much as your childrens Nurture friendships – we all need at least 1–2 people to deeply lean on. If you don’t have the person yet, start visioning them. Who do you want in your life?

Start a new hobby eg. art class, yoga, dance, ceramics Get to know your neighbours.

What are you needing most right now in parenting?

What’s one step you can take towards getting that need met?

EVENTS Mothers Retreat – coming soon in NSW region.

Visit theawaremama.com.au and sign up to Aware Mama news to a free ebook on Radical Self Care tips.

Alita Blanchard, The Aware Mama – Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys and is a Conscious Parent Coach, Rites of Passage and Mother’s Circle facilitator. She provides regular workshops, mothers circles, events, 1:1 parenting support and a full parenting course based on attachment, brain and nervous system science.

Instagram: @alitablanchard_parentcoach Email: alitablanchard@gmail.com Web: www.theawaremama.com.au

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

23

Once Postnatal, Always Postnatal.

Why it’s never too late to get help for birth related injuries, even years after having a baby.

BY LOUISE HURLEY

When you hear the term postnatal, you usually think about those first few months after giving birth. Most of us would instantly think about a mum with a little baby; up all night with them feeding, cuddling, rocking, changing nappies. But how long after having a baby should a mother no longer be considered postnatal? At which point in time does a mother suddenly transform from postnatal to non–postnatal? In my professional opinion, never.

This might come as a surprise, but once your pregnancy ends, you will always be postnatal.

How is it possible to be postnatal forever?

Well, prepare yourself for another truth bomb… Postnatal is forever because it’s impossible to get your pre–baby body back. Your body goes through significant changes growing a baby and giving birth. It’s impossible for your body to go back to exactly how it was pre–pregnancy. It will always be slightly different (keep in mind, different doesn’t mean worse, different is just different). When it comes to moving your body when you’re a mum, it doesn’t matter whether you enjoy walking alongside the kids on their bikes or enjoy

intense CrossFit training, having had a baby (no matter how long ago) will have an effect on the way your body moves and functions The reality of birth related injuries is, if they are not treated, symptoms can continue even years after having a baby. During pregnancy and birth, you can sustain a range of physical and mental health injuries including (but not limited to) damage to the pelvic floor muscles, which can cause incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse, internal and external tearing of tissue, abdominal separation, painful back, wrists and knees, depression, anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder. Occasionally, some of these physical injuries (such as internal tears or mild abdominal separation) will heal on their own over the first

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six months after giving birth. Most of the time, however, pregnancy and birth related injuries need specialist care and treatment. Very often, these injuries and symptoms do not go away on their own over time, and if left untreated, can continue for life.

How do I know if I’m experiencing symptoms of a birth related injury?

No matter how long ago you had a baby, you can still experience: Pelvic floor dysfunction. This includes pelvic floor laxity, pelvic floor tightness and pelvic organ prolapse and can all be a cause of incontinence (especially leaking when running, jumping, sneezing, coughing or laughing), recurrent urinary tract infections, lower back pain, inability to orgasm, painful intercourse or a feeling of heaviness down through your pelvis, especially towards the end of the day or a long period of time on your feet Postnatal abdominal separation (is the lack of tension in the connective tissue that runs in between the two sides of the abdominal muscles).

Multiple studies suggest that abdominal separation occurs in 100% of full term pregnancies* and almost 33% of women still experience it twelve months after giving birth**.

When there is a lack of tension in the connective tissue of the abdominal wall you can usually feel a deep, soft gap with your fingers in between your six–pack muscles, or sometimes you can see a ridge or a dip running down the abdomen during certain exercises.

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What can I do if I’m experiencing these symptoms?

1 Firstly, my advice is to know and understand your birth story, even if it happened years ago. When you know what happened when you gave birth you can start to understand how it affected your body. For example, if you experienced a second stage labour (the pushing stage) that was too short or too long, your pelvic floor may have been consequently injured, which would explain why perhaps you now feel a heavy sensation down through your pelvis. Or if you had a caesarean section birth you might now experience tightness in the fascia (tissue that covers muscles) that was cut during surgery.

Understanding your birth story helps you to connect the dots. If you’re unsure of what happened when you gave birth or if you’re unsure of how it could have affected your body, talk to your medical provider or a women’s health physiotherapist, which leads nicely to my second piece of advice.

2 Book an appointment with a women’s health physiotherapist. No matter how long ago you had a baby, they’ll help you start to address the symptoms you’re currently experiencing.

There’s a misconception that all you need to do to stop incontinence is Kegel exercises (contracting and releasing the pelvic floor muscles), but it’s not that simple. A tight pelvic floor can also cause leaking, but repeatedly contracting this

muscle group that is already tight won’t make it stronger– it’ll make it more tired, and consequently more leaking. This is why an appointment with a women’s health physiotherapist can be so helpful at any stage of motherhood.

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Postnatal is forever because it’s impossible to get your pre–baby body back 3 If you’d like to return to exercise or you’d like to increase the intensity of your exercise but pain, discomfort or incontinence is stopping you, look for a trainer who has specific qualifications in postnatal exercise or women’s health and fitness. A trainer with the right qualifications will work hand in hand with your women’s health physiotherapist to help you reach your goals whilst increasing your strength from the inside out.

Many mums feel that because they’ve had children it’s normal to put up with leaking, backache or a weakened pelvic floor and core, but it’s never too late to start doing something about it. Life’s too short to not jump on the trampoline! *Gonçalves Fernandes da Mota, et. al (2015) Manual Therapy. ** Sperstad, et al. (2016) British Journal of Sports Medicine.

Louise Hurley – As a MumSafe™ trainer and Pregnancy and Postnatal Corrective Exercise Specialist, Louise’s mission is to help mums at every stage of motherhood safely start or return to exercise.

Louise is the owner of Strong Mums and runs small group training and 1:1 PT. Find out more at www.strongmums.com or on social media @strongmumsgosford

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If my blood test is OK – why don’t I feel OK? Why functional pathology testing can be useful.

BY DIANA ARUNDELL, UNIVERSITY QUALIFIED NATUROPATH AND NUTRITIONIST

It makes sense that when we are unwell, we take a trip to the doctor and based on the discussion, the doctor may/ may not wish to request a blood test for further information. At times, a great line of questioning and physical examination may be sufficient for a physician to diagnose and at other times, further investigations such as blood tests, scans etc are required to confirm or establish a diagnosis.

Blood tests can be very useful however information is limited to what is being tested and what the actual

B.H.Sc (comp medicine) B.A., N.D., Dip. Nut, D.R.M.

results are being compared to. There are many parameters to consider when reviewing blood tests and just because abnormalities don’t show up in the blood, doesn’t mean nothing is wrong and the person in question is imagining feeling unwell. This is where orthodox medical practitioners and naturopaths may have differing opinions on a patient’s blood work.

For example, TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) is often the basic go to for assessing general thyroid function.

However, TSH indicates what the brain is telling the thyroid to do rather than accurately indicating actual thyroid output or function. Thyroid output is more indicated by levels of free T4, T3 and reverse T3. It is possible for TSH to be in ‘normal range’ but thyroid output to be sitting at an outer end of normal range and subclinical disease to be present and vice versa. Subclinical disease may show up as results ‘within’ the parameters but closer to the out limits of the reference range.

For example; a person may present with thyroid symptoms, even if their thyroid output markers are ‘normal’ but their TSH may be at the outer end of the ‘normal’ range suggesting that the thyroid is starting to struggle. In this instance it makes sense to try and prevent disease progressing rather than wait for blood test markers to be ‘out of range’ before treatment commences.

Nutrition Herbal Medicine Fertility Management Children’s Health Wellness Programs 0410 465 900 avocanaturopath.com.au naturopathdiana@gmail.com nutrition and wellness | herbal medicine | fertility | children’s health B.H.Sc (comp medicine) B.A., N.D, Dip. Nut, D.R.M. 118 Avoca Drive, Kincumber

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Prevention is easier than cure with regards to most health conditions.

Another issue with blood test results is the issue of what we are comparing a ‘healthy normal’ to. Generally speaking blood test parameters are taken from 95% of the population and really, is 95% of our population healthy? We just need to look around and observe our population to see this is not the case. Another issue with these parameters is that the goal posts are continually changing to match 95% of the population. Rather than asking what has happened to our diet and lifestyle to affect changes in our pathology results across the board, the goal posts are changed to accommodate a new normal.

Many naturopaths focus more on functional pathology testing rather than just blood tests as sometimes deficiencies in nutrients, hormones and neurotransmitters etc can be difficult to accurately measure in the blood.

“

Prevention is easier than cure with regards to most health conditions The blood is a tightly regulated system and the body’s intelligence runs a very tight ship to ensure homeostasis and parameters of the blood such as

temperature, pH and oxygen tension are maintained within a very narrow functioning window. For example, if blood becomes too acidic, calcium will be drawn down from the bones to buffer the acidity and bring the pH back to a specific range. The blood won’t tolerate too high levels of heavy metals and in order to protect the delicate system of the blood, toxic metals will be shunted out of the blood and stored in other tissue such as bone, fat and hair. In this case, blood testing to establish heavy metal toxicity may confirm current exposure however longer term build–up of heavy metals may be more accurately measured via hair tissue mineral analysis or an organic acids urine test looking at the by products of heavy metal metabolism.

Following are some of the functional pathology tests more commonly utilised by integrative medical doctors and naturopaths. These tests can be expensive and are not covered

by Medicare so the benefit of the information provided by these functional tests needs to be weighed up and carefully considered.

Organic Acids Test (OAT) This is a urine test looking at functional markers of nutrient and neurotransmitter deficiency and/or excess. Actual cellular levels of some vitamins and minerals can be difficult to capture via the blood and sometimes metabolic markers of inadequate cellular levels of nutrients may be more accurately measured and therefore useful. The organic acids test utilises this principle by measuring organic acid build up in the urine which is created when there are inadequate levels of certain nutrients and neurotransmitters. This test may be useful when treating mood disorders and unexplained fatigue.

Dried Urine Test for Comprehensive Hormones (DUTCH) This test collects 4–5 urine samples over a 24hr period to primarily measure sex and adrenal hormone function and diurnal fluctuations. It’s useful for detecting accurate levels of sex hormones, cortisol and melatonin to help monitor dosages of medication and identify underlying causes of some unexplained symptoms.

Comprehensive Digestive Stool Analysis or Gastrointestinal mapping (CDSA or GI MAP) These tests use a stool sample to measure the health of the gut microbiome and other indicators of digestion, absorption, infection and inflammation. Specific treatment plans may be more confidently prescribed based on actual results of what is going on in the gut for that individual.

Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis (HTMA) Scalp hair is believed to contain a record of element metabolism and toxic exposure accurately reflecting human organ and systemic levels. It is an easy to obtain, non–invasive test and when used in conjunction with other laboratory results, may be useful in establishing

underlying metabolic disorders related to minerals and toxic elements.

Saliva tests Saliva testing measures the biologically active or free hormone levels in the body. This is indicative of the level of a particular hormone that is actively delivered to the receptors in the body whereas many blood tests measure protein bound hormones which may be more indicative of the reserve amount of the hormone rather than the active form.

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Many naturopaths focus more on functional pathology testing rather than just blood tests as sometimes deficiencies in nutrients, hormones and neurotransmitters etc can be difficult to accurately measure in the blood For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath and Nutritionist on 0410 465 900.

Diana Arundell is a university–qualified naturopath and consults from her Avoca Naturopath clinic. She has a special interest in fertility and pregnancy health, digestive health, immune function and family wellness programs.

She was a nutrition lecturer at Macquarie University for 10 years, and is an accredited Journey Practitioner. For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath on 0410 465 900.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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HOW TO STOP BEING THE

” r e h t o m d o o g “

BY CATHY SPOONER

Over the years I’ve lost count of the times I’ve sat crying in the bathroom wondering how I am failing so much at being a mother. How something that is so ingrained in my being, a rite of passage for some, felt so unnatural and hard for me. I grappled with so many feelings of insecurity, guilt, resentment and shame and I wondered if things would ever get better.

I bought into every single story and expectation about motherhood.

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I had a rose coloured version of how it would all look and it started from the moment we conceived. So many of us step into motherhood with a list of silent expectations of what a “good mother” looks like. We don’t quite know it’s happening as we rock our babies through sleepless nights, cry silently as we struggle to breastfeed, lose our temper at the kids or silently wish for things to be different.

We go through the motions of motherhood with these stories imprinted within us and all around us.

Good mothers are self–sacrificing, good mothers have it together, good mothers are loving in all moments, good mothers are driven at work and in the home,

good mothers have bounce back bodies or good mothers can do it all.

It’s completely normal for mothers and caregivers to…

Feel out of your depths at times Feel anger, rage and frustration Want an escape or out from the responsibilities and overwhelm Make mistakes and mess up Feel as though you’re failing and letting everyone down Wish for something different than this Feel resentful of aspects of life, but grateful in the next breath We feel bad about having these experiences because we think good

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So much of our angst and stress comes from the pressure we place on ourselves and our desire to get it right and be perfect every time mothers don’t feel this way. That good mothers aren’t allowed to have this full spectrum of emotions, especially not about motherhood and their children.

This story of the good mother is what breaks us It sets us up for expectations and standards that we can’t meet. We can’t meet them not because we are failing at this, but because they are unrealistic.

The very things we use as metrics for motherhood are the very things that are pulling us further away from our truths and potential as mothers. The further away we get from ourselves the more we are seeing a rise in mental wellness concerns for mothers. In Australia, 1 out of 7 women are diagnosed with post– natal depression or anxiety, of course there are many layers that contribute to this but a huge piece of this puzzle is expectation and overwhelm.

Our potential and “goodness” as a mother comes from us living in a way that feels good for us individually.

Trying to follow the cookie cutter version and loaded expectations isn’t listening and following what we need. There actually isn’t a right or wrong way to do motherhood. It’s just your way.

The sooner we can accept that we all

have big, uncomfortable feelings that are not a reflection on our parenting capacity, the sooner we can work to healing ourselves and in turn, our families. So, where and how do we start this process of untangling from the expectations and pressures of motherhood?

Take an inventory on your life Carve out some time for you to get some perspective on your life as it is right now. Which situations arise the most pressure and stress for you? What aspect of your life do you wish you could change and how? What are you desiring more of? Often we get stuck in the motions of life, going through the to do list, racing through our schedule and getting to the end of the day exhausted and ready to do it all again tomorrow. Slow down, connect with your feelings and listen to what you’re actually needing.

Create white space We all are guilty of filling our schedules with all the things, and motherhood in general is a busy job.

There is always something to clean, fold, pack away and cook on top of sports, music lessons, homework and more.

Our plates are beyond full. Creating white space means we take out some stuff that isn’t imperative and nurture what is. It means we will have time to be present with the kids, have a peaceful cup of tea or take the dog for a walk with the family.

Accept the beautiful madness of motherhood So much of our angst and stress comes from the pressure we place on ourselves and our desire to get it right and be perfect every time. We will make mistakes. We will have moments

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that don’t feel graceful. We will have days when we want to escape, feel bewildered, helpless and overwhelmed.

But our power comes when we can accept these waves of motherhood.

When we give ourselves a break and embrace that we too are human and we are doing the very best we can.

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That good mothers aren’t allowed to have this full spectrum of emotions, especially not about motherhood and their children Stepping outside and looking in on this story of motherhood we have all adopted isn’t an easy process. It will challenge many parts of yourself because familiarity brings comfort and change can make us hesitant. But there is a better way to navigate motherhood.

One that feels aligned to you and deeply fulfilling. A way that embraces all the madness and stuff we can’t control alongside all the magical moments that light up our hearts. We get to choose how this looks and more importantly, how it feels.

Cathy Spooner is a Motherhood and Self– Embodiment Coach and Author who lives on the Central Coast with her three children. She offers 1:1 support, group coaching, online courses and her new book Conscious Motherhood is available online. www.cathyspooner.com.au Instagram @cathyspooner_author AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 119

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D.I.Y What is fibre?

Fibre is a trendy word you may have seen in the health scene lately, and it’s for good reason too! It is the indigestible part of wholegrains, fruits, vegetables and legumes.

When we eat foods with fibre, the fibre passes through our digestive tract mostly unchanged and assists our body with many health benefits.

Fibre comes in three types: soluble, insoluble and resistant starch and provides different benefits depending on the type.

Soluble – can assist in improving blood sugars and keeping you fuller for longer. Soluble fibre can be found in foods such as: avocado, oatmeal, apples, citrus, carrots, beans, barley, psyllium, black beans, lima beans, and broccoli.

Insoluble – adds bulk to your stool and assists in preventing constipation.

Insoluble fibre can be found in: nuts, beans, cauliflower, green beans, potato wheat bran and wholegrain foods.

Resistant starch – helps to feed the healthy bacteria in the gut, reduces the risk of bowel cancer, fights inflammation, and may help with appetite regulation and insulin sensitivity. Resistant starch can be found in green bananas, cooked and cooled potato, rice and pasta, oats, lentils and barley.

Whether the type of fibre you’re eating is mainly soluble or insoluble, your body will thank you for its benefits.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT? Having adequate dietary fibre each day is associated with many health benefits. Including: Normalized bowel movements – bulking up the stool can decrease the likelihood of constipation and make bowel movements easier to pass.

Achieving a healthy weight – consumption of high fibre foods is linked with better satiety. These foods

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Fibre

BY TEAGAN O–CONNOR STUDENT DIETITIAN AND KYLIE SPICER, DIETITIAN

are also lower in energy, meaning you may feel fuller by eating fewer calories and be satisfied for longer.

Decrease the risk of certain cancers – following a high fibre diet has been associated with a decreased likelihood of developing certain cancers such as bowel cancer.

Stabilising blood sugar levels – soluble fibre can slow down the absorption of sugar and assist in stabilising blood sugar levels.

Recommendations are for adults to consume 25–35g of fibre each day. The best way to hit your daily fibre intake is to load up on whole foods like vegetables, fruits, beans and seeds.

GROW YOUR FIBRE AT HOME With current concerns about the cost of fresh food, food gardening is a simple and tasty solution to eating more veggies resulting in increasing your whole family’s fibre intake. There are 6 high– value, easy–to–grow crops that you can plant now to save the most money: Leaves – loose–leaf lettuce, rocket, kale, spinach, silverbeet and chard are incredibly compact. When frequently harvested in small amounts, they can continue to produce fresh leaves for months.

Quick growing salad additions – salad toppers such as radishes, baby beets and spring onions are quick growing and delicious additions to a meal.

Peas and Beans – the epitome of

plenty, once beans start cropping, they produce an abundance of beans when regularly picked. Peas and beans are healthy, filling and high in plant protein, making them a valuable crop.

Celery – the compact shape of celery makes it an easy growing, space saving crop that is an important base ingredient for many soups, stews and salads. Being able to harvest it one stem at a time means minimal waste compared to purchasing from the shops.

Mushrooms – home mushroom cultivation is surprisingly easy and becoming the latest trend. There are so many types of mushrooms you can easily grow at home, like oyster, lion’s mane and blue monster, button and portobello, with a few different growing methods. Check out some of the many online videos and get the mushroom growing bug!

Herbs – herbs ramp up the tastiness of your cooking, but they can cost a small fortune in the shops because they are hard to store and don’t travel well. In a home garden, the likes of basil, parsley and coriander take up little room, and grow fast. They tend to self seed, meaning they will pop up year after year without much effort. Perennial herbs such as rosemary, sage and thyme are hardy once established.

Home gardening can provide a significant reward for a small investment both on the plate and in the wallet!

Kylie Spicer is warm, non–judgemental and passionate Dietitian/Nutritionist working at Bright Diets.

She loves helping everyone reach their full potential by understanding how food affects their body. She enjoys working with people of all ages in a supportive and empowering way to assist them to improve their health and well–being. You can contact Kylie on 0419612807 or www.brightdiets.com.au or connect on the Bright Diets Facebook page.

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