Stooshie Issue 11 Published Aug 2 2014 by D C Thomson & Co Ltd

August 2 issue no.11 ❘ £2.50

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ME AL GA ECI SP

Glasgow’s Golden Glow

Stooshie Reflecting on a glittering Commonwealth Games

T h e b e s t o f S c ott i s h m e d i a – n e w s

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opinion

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d e bat e

Shiny Happy People

Scotland celebrates best ever medal haul

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Mother admits killing Mikaeel

Why lovers are saying it with padlocks

Tory minister’s anti-Thatcher songs

Have selfies gone a step too far?

Warning after RBS profits jump

Stooshie Editor’s Round-up: That was the week that was

Welcome to the latest issue of The Stooshie, the magazine that brings you the best of Scotland’s news from the last seven days. Our team has been ploughing through newspapers, blogs and websites to serve up the very best of what’s been going on around the country. The week has been dominated by the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, and the media has been fulsome in its praise of Scotland’s athletes, who have compiled a record haul of medals. We also ask what the legacy will be for Glasgow, and Scotland, after the Games are over. Other events dominating the news pages was the mother of of three-year-old Mikaeel Kular admitting to the culpable homicide of her son while the debate over fracking intensified after a report claimed shale gas reserves could deliver an economic boost. Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill came under pressure over policing, with mounting criticism over the routine arming of officers and increased use of stop and search. On a more light-hearted note, our Seven By Seven page looks at the trend for declaring your love with a padlock and Fred MacAulay finds that having a famous face does not impress everybody. Read, digest and enjoy!

SCOTTISH WORD OF THE WEEK

clamjamfry noun ❘ klam’d3amfri ❘ 1. A company or crowd of people, a rabble. Usage: “A positive clamjamfry of writers artists, actors and musicians are actively supporting the Yes campaign.” (page 14)

WE REALLY LIKE...

Nippy sweetie brought Fred down to earth

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■ Australian hockey player Jayde Taylor’s selfie went viral.

Editor-in-chief: Richard Neville Editor: Steve Bargeton Deputy editor: Catriona MacInnes Art director: Aileen Wilkie Content manager: Rory Weller Editorial: Craig Smith, Stefan Morkis, Alastair Bennett Contributors: Brian Donaldson, Robert McNeil, Jonathan Trew, James Williamson, Graham Huband

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MAIN EVENTS

Mother admits killing son Mikaeel Kular Three-year-old’s body hidden in suitcase then dumped in Kirkcaldy ■ The mother of three-yearold Mikaeel Kular admitted beating her son to death then dumping his body in woods by Kirkcaldy. Rosdeep Adekoya (34) originally told police Mikaeel had gone missing from their Edinburgh home, sparking a major two-day search. Adekoya was originally been charged with murder but admitted the reduced charge of culpable homicide when she appeared at the High Court in Edinburgh. Sentence was deferred until August 25.

Adekoya (above), a prisoner at Cornton Vale jail near Stirling, admitted attempting to defeat the ends of justice by pretending to police that Mikaeel had gone missing. She pleaded guilty to repeatedly punching her son and causing his body to hit against a hard object or inflicting blunt injuries on his head and body between January 12 and 15 at their home in Edinburgh. More than 40 wounds had been inflicted upon Mikaeel.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

That Rosdeep Adekoya had a long history of mental illness does not absolve her of blame for what she did to her son, the Daily Record said. “That is no excuse for behaviour that was plainly evil and lacking in compassion,” it said. It added that Adeyoka was “well-known” to social workers and their role would be “closely scrutinised”, although it said predicting or preventing the tragedy would have been impossible. The Scottish Sun, meanwhile, said many people would be angry that the Crown Office had accepted her plea of culpable homicide, a lesser charge than murder. “Many parents in Scotland were left wondering if she had got away with murder,” said the paper. The Courier agreed, stating: “The public are left with a raft of unanswered questions, not least of which is whether the agreed plea of culpable homicide went far enough.” But The Scotsman said it is wrong to make “snap judgements” about the case. It said it is right that Fife Council’s social services department holds a significant case review but warned “outsiders should not rush to judgement before that review comes to its findings”. It added it hoped that the review leads to improvements in social services, particularly in the way Fife and Edinburgh

Rosdeep Adekoya’s efforts to cover up her crime were almost as appalling as the treatment of her son to some columnists. The Scottish Sun’s Bill Leckie said her claims that Mikaeel had gone missing gave “a cruel woman membership of an exclusive, cold-blooded harem” that includes women like Karen Matthews, who claimed her daughter Shannon had been kidnapped. Leckie said Adekoya may have killed Mikaeel “whilst angry or desperate or depressed or all three” but that she was also “calm and calculating” enough to present a different face to the world. Scotland on Sunday’s Dani Garavelli said it is “impossible to judge the merits of a case from a distance” but was shocked the Crown had accepted Adekoya’s plea of culpable homicide. Garavelli said this was because Adekoya had not planned to kill her son or displayed the “‘wicked recklessness’ required for murder”. However, she said the details remain “unpalatable” and will “heighten public outrage over Adekoya’s behaviour and the failure of the system to protect him from it”. The Daily Telegraph’s Alan Cochrane wondered if social work services in Scotland need overhauled to improve communication, and whether there is even a need for a single, national body.

Fracking could power economy Scottish Government panel says shale gas reserves in Central Scotland could provide “positive economic impacts” ■ An expert panel set up by the Scottish Government has said extracting shale gas from Central Scotland could deliver an economic boom for Scotland. The Expert Scientific Panel’s report was delivered on the same day as the UK Government announced the opening of bidding for licences to extract the gas. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

A report published in June said there may be as many 11.2 billion barrels of shale beneath Central Scotland. But environmental campaigners claim fracking can cause pollution and even minor earthquakes. Scottish Government energy minister Fergus Ewing (left) said a working group will consider the report.

EDITORIALS SAY There is little doubt that, as has been seen in the US, shale gas and oil reserves could boost Scotland’s economy enormously. But concerns about the environmental impact of fracking have not been forgotten. The Scotsman said: “Ministers need to prove there will next to no disadvantages from fracking before there can be any possibility of realising the benefits.” The Daily Record said the

MAIN EVENTS

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Glasgow’s games crowned in gold

on the bright side

Commonwealth success inspires a country as Scotland claims record medal haul ■ Glasgow 2014 surpassed expectations with Scottish athletes taking home a record medal haul after just five days of the competition. Hundreds of thousands of spectators attended events around Glasgow. Scotland’s best ever result of 11 golds from Melbourne 2006 was surpassed when bowlers Alex Marshall and Paul Foster triumphed in the bowls pairs final. And Scotland’s 13th gold medal was won when Libby Clegg (above) won the T12 100 metres title, for athletes with limited sight. Her victory was Scotland’s first track gold since Yvonne Murray claimed the 10,000m title at Victoria in 1994. However, the popularity of the Games meant public transport struggled to cope on the busiest days. Spectators complained of a “shambolic park and ride” service that meant they often missed the start of events. Organisers said refunds would be issued to disgruntled customers on a “case by case basis”.

Scottish Government is right to take a “cautious approach” as “far too little is known” about shale’s potential benefits. The Courier said the Scottish Government’s working group has “much to ponder” as it weighs up the pros and cons of exploiting shale gas. The Press and Journal said there will be winners and losers in any development. It may be good for the economy but, it said, “how local communities in fracking approved districts is another matter”. There was no such doubt at The Times. “Britain must embrace the exciting potential of shale gas,” it said.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

Scotland could happily declare “this their best Games” purred The Herald after another successful day for Scottish athletes. While it said home support will have played its part in urging competitors onto success, The Herald said “Scotland’s victorious athletes nevertheless deserve great respect for the dedication and talent that lie behind their achievements”. The Daily Record said the event had “been a boon for Glasgow”. “Anyone who has walked around the city in the last few days will know the atmosphere has been electric,” it said. The Scotsman praised the Games’ effect. It said: “The national habit of loud complaining and finger pointing when things go wrong, as they have to an extent with public transport, seems to have been replaced with a determination to stay cheerful”.

From the kiss between two men that kicked off the opening ceremony and which sent “a clear message to less progressive countries”, Scotland on Sunday’s Euan McColm said the Games have been “marvellous”. And he said they provide a welcome break from the referendum campaign are “a timely reminder of who we are” as “Scotland’s political divisions have never been more harshly exposed”. He added that politicians should not try to make capital out of the Games as “they belong to all of us”. However, Lesley Riddoch could not escape the spectre of September 18 in The Scotsman. She said the Games’ success means “Scotland has finally established parity of esteem with England in the eyes of fellow champions, broadcasters, commentators and billions of onlookers across the world”.

COMMENTATORS SAY

sector needs to move forward with caution and earn public trust,” he said. The Daily Telegraph’s Scottish political editor Simon Johnson said the Scottish Government now faces “a dilemma whether to allow fracking in Scotland”. He pointed out that although the report says reserves could be extracted safely, the economic benefits are not necessarily guaranteed. “If the US begins to export shale gas at large scale in future, this price may be depressed, making it less profitable for Scottish developers,” he said.

It may be controversial but it would be mistake to ignore the potential benefits of exploiting Scotland’s shale gas reserves, claimed The Courier’s business editor, Graham Huband. He said the UK is already “accelerating along the shale super highway”. Huband said: “The real issue is not should we frack, but how should we frack?” But he warned that more will need to be done to convince the public of its benefits. “With shale, the UK energy

■ A Glasgow civic dignitary who fancied his chances against a virtual Usain Bolt ended up dislocating his shoulder, reported The Herald. Bailie Phil Greene (70) slipped on the Virgin Media race track, which gives people the chance to go “head-tohead” with the world’s fastest man. ■ Scottish table tennis player Gavin Rumgay challenged Usain Bolt to a celebration faceoff after his “wedgie” created a stir at Glasgow 2014, reported BBC Scotland. The act caused a buzz on social media and was compared to Jamaican sprinter Bolt’s iconic ‘Lightning Bolt’ celebration. ■ The giant teacakes used in the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games have fetched over £500 each at auction. Around 10,000 props used during the ceremony are being sold off online, with proceeds going towards the cost of hosting the spectacle. In addition to the giant teacakes, there were bids for other items including a model of Dolly the Sheep, an Edinburgh cannon replica and seats used by athletes. ■ Glasgow has been showcasing its best bits for the last fortnight, so Tennent’s decided to highlight another aspect the city is famous for: its banter. The firm created an interactive machine (below) that converses with the public and judges whether people meet “Glasgow’s high banter standards”. If they are hesitant or serious – in local terms, “their patter is watter” – then they receive a glass of water, but those who have “the chat” receive lager as a reward.

2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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POLITICS

MacAskill in the dock over policing methods Calls for formal review of Police Scotland’s decision to arm police while stop and search policy also questioned

indy BRIEFS 1. Around one in six Scots would leave the country if there is a Yes vote, according to a Panelbase poll. 2. Almost 300,000 Scots eligible to vote on September 18 have not yet registered to vote. If turnout on the day is 80%, it could mean one million Scots did not bother to cast their ballot. 3. Labour has said public companies will be allowed to bid for rail franchises if it wins the General Election.

■ Scottish Government Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill is coming under increasing pressure over the tactics used by Police Scotland. The national police force, created last year, has come under criticism for routinely arming officers and using “Strathclyde policing methods” such as stop and search across the country. Labour MSP Graeme Pearson said Mr MacAskill (below) has “washed his hands” over the issue of arming police, despite public concern. Scottish Liberal Democrat leader Willie Rennie has also demanded a formal review into the policy. Meanwhile, Tam Baillie, Children’s Commissioner for Scotland, warned that the high proportion of children under 16 who are stopped and searched is increasing distrust of the police and may actually lead to more criminality. One in six people frisked by police in low crime suburbs is under 16.

COMMENTATORS SAY The decision to drastically alter the way Scotland is policed has happened without proper consultation, said The Herald. It said although Scotland is supposed to have “policing by consent” there is “considerable disquiet” over Police Scotland’s decisions to routinely arm police and to ramp up the number of stop and searches officers carry out. It said the “real question raised is about where the line is drawn between the operational autonomy of the police and the wishes of the public” but that it “has been a long time” since there has been any public debate about where this should be drawn. The Herald’s Ian Bell said the amalgamation of Scotland’s eight forces into one has left Chief Constable Sir Stephen House “in all but unfettered charge”.

And while he said routinely arming police was “not unprecedented” in some parts of the country “since the emergence of a single force in April last year, however, police with guns have appeared across the country. And a lot of the country is unhappy.” Bell added while Mr MacAskill cannot intervene directly in the day-to-day operations of the police or risk having “hell to pay”, he must act. “If there is the shred of an idea that deterrence is served by armed police then Mr MacAskill should stamp on it now,” said Bell. “Then he can deal with the issue of accountability. We need some.” The Scotsman’s Brian Monteith also warned the drastic changes in policing methods introduced over the past year could leave much of the public “alienated” from the police. He said: “We may need to have some new approaches to how a modern Scottish police force conducts itself, but the best way to achieve support for that is through a public consensus – and building that is the responsibility of the Justice Secretary and the chief constable of Police Scotland.”

4. Better Together chairman Alistair Darling has said independence could cost Scotland’s economy up to £8 billion a year, or 5.5% of GDP, by creating a new trade border with England. 5. Scottish Secretary Alistair Carmichael has said the UK Government will maintain a stronger presence north of the border if independence is rejected. He also said a No vote would settle Scotland’s future “once and for all”. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

“I’ve taken a kind of self-denying ordinance to concentrate on the Games over the next 10 days. I think that’s what the people of Scotland want.”

“As a country, we can’t afford economic inequality.”

Alex Salmond,

John Swinney,

First Minister

Finance Secretary

POLITICS Environment secretary’s red past

On defensive over “slut” row

■ Liz Truss, the coalition government’s new Environment Secretary, has admitted singing antiMargaret Thatcher songs as she grew up in Paisley. The 39-year-old, the youngest ever female member of the Cabinet, said her mother had taken her to a women-only anti-nuclear protest outside the Greenham Common RAF camp in Berkshire as a child. Miss Truss told The Scottish Sun: “I probably didn’t

know what I was saying. I was seven at the time... We did a number of things, like marches, protests.” Miss Truss (below) grew up in Paisley before moving to Leeds. She then attended Oxford University where she joined the Liberal Democrats before turning to the Conservatives. She is MP for South West Norfolk and said she wants to be known as a straight-talker. “People are fed up with politicians where there are lots of bland lines to take,” she said. “People want an honest exposition of views.”

■ The UK’s new Scots-born Defence Secretary Michael Fallon has become embroiled in a row over whether he called columnist Bryony Gordon a “slut” four years ago. The Daily Telegraph columnist claimed last week that a member of the Prime Minister’s new “female-friendly” Cabinet approached her at a party near Westminster four years ago and insulted her. She claimed the minister had asked her who the “slut” that wrote the Single Girl About Town column. When she said it was her, she said the minister turned red with embarrassment and spent the evening apologising for his remark. Although Ms Gordon did not identity Mr Fallon as the man who made the comment, The Mail on Sunday later named him as the culprit. It claimed a source close to Mr Fallon said he had made a “jokey comment” that upset Ms Gordon, but denies using the word “slut”. The source also said that when Ms Gordon first wrote about the incident in 2010 she used the word “slattern” rather than “slut”. Prime Minister David Cameron said Mr Fallon is a “first-class” minister.

Minimum wage rise mooted

Leaders set for showdown

■ The SNP has said it may consider raising the minimum wage in line with inflation if Scotland votes Yes. Around 150,000 low paid Scots, or seven per cent of the workforce, would benefit. The minimum wage rises to £6.50 an hour in October. The SNP said says the minimum wage has not risen with the cost of living and would set up a commission after independence to consider a new minimum wage that would rise at least in line with inflation.

■ First Minister Alex Salmond and Better Together leader Alistair Darling will finally take part in the first televised independence referendum debate on August 5 after weeks of wrangling over its format and speakers. The debate will be screened on STV and chaired by the channel’s political editor Bernard Ponsonby. The two-hour debate will take place at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow in front of an audience of 350 members of the public.

“The majority of Scots looking at Alex Salmond’s failure to provide honest and credible answers are simply saying no thanks to taking on so many risks.”

“If we become independent there will be less money to spend on public services. To make sure we can protect the NHS, you’ve got to vote No.”

“I’m confident we will win the city of Glasgow so I suppose you could call Glasgow ‘Freedom City’.”

Blair MacDougall,

Danny Alexander,

Alex Salmond,

Better Together director

Chief Treasury Secretary

First Minister

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indy BRIEFS 1. Finance Secretary John Swinney has ruled out a return as leader of the SNP should Alex Salmond quit. 2. Protestors gathered outside the BBC’s Glasgow headquarters to demonstrate against perceived bias in its coverage of the referendum and Gaza. Organisers said 1,200 people attended but police put the number at 400. 3. Investors Chronicle magazine has claimed the UK government is “deliberately downplaying” how much North Sea oil remains. 4. Nearly a third of Scots think childcare will improve after independence, according to The Economic and Social Research Council. 5. Scottish wealth per head is over £2,300 higher than the UK as a whole, according to SNP analysis of figures released by the OECD. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SEVEN BY SEVEN

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Jim loves Paula – but why the padlock on their hearts?

SEVEN QUESTIONS YOU REALLY WANT TO ASK 1. Jim and Paula? Who they? They the couple… sorry, they are the couple whose names featured on a padlock clandestinely affixed to the Forth Road Bridge. Upon said padlock was a message declaring in no uncertain terms “Jim loves Paula”.

2. I see. Well, actually I don’t. What am I missing here? Such padlocked declarations of love are all the rage, daddy-oh. If smitten, the first thing young persons do now is waddle down to the ironmongers, then find a bridge upon which they might attach their love lock.

3. But why the Forth Road Bridge? Because it’s big. And it’s there. But it’s far from the only bridge to be affected. It’s happening all over the world, to such a degree that the phenomenon has caused a few problems. But the Forth Road Bridge people are encouraging couples to follow Jim and Paula’s lead. At first, the picky bosses removed the padlock, but then Cupid loosed a few arrows at their fundaments, and somebody had the bright idea of encouraging the phenomenon as part of a festival to mark the bridge’s 50th anniversary.

4. Surely they’re not encouraging folk to blunder aboot the bridge willy-nilly? Nope, besotted punters with padlocks will have to pick their spot on designated panels. A bridge spokesman warned in a Darth Vader voice: “Padlocks found anywhere else on the bridge will be removed.” If that sounds inappropriately grim, the bridge authorities, in partnership with Love Locks UK, are offering padlocks at 15 quid a pop, including engraving and shipping. As The Courier reported, a portion of each purchase will be donated to good causes in the area around the bridge.

LOcks IN NUMBERS

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5. Hate to spoil things but you mentioned problems. Can we talk about these?

Sure, though you may be disappointed to learn that they have occurred principally abroad. The main one we’re thinking about Love locks on Chester’s Queen’s concerned the Pont des Arts (pont means bridge Park suspension bridge before in French, work the rest out for yourself), which has become the most famous love locked council called halt structure. Alas, part of it collapsed under the weight of the lovers’ declarations.

5,500

Love locks removed from Florence’s Ponte Vecchio “on aesthetic grounds”

700,000

Love locks left on Paris’ Pont des Arts since 2008

9,300

Signatures collected on a petition to ban locks on yon Pont

Love locks per inch maximum bearing of Ottawa’s Corktown Bridge, according to structural engineers

774ft

Height from which North Seoul Tower love lockers were throwing away their keys (now prohibited)

6. Romance sounds suspiciously continental to me. Is that where this business started? Correct. It goes back to World War One Serbia and the bridge Most Ljubavi in the town of Vrnjacka Banja. A local schoolteacher called Nada loved an army officer called Relja, and they used to meet on the bridge. But, when he was sent to war in Greece, he fell for a woman from Corfu. As you do. Nada died from a broken heart and, subsequently, loved-up lasses took to writing their names, and those of their darlings, on padlocks and fixing these to the bridge. The tradition carried on through World War Two, particularly among couples sealing their love before the men went off to fight. In the 1980s, love locks caught on among students in Hungary and, in the last 10 years, appeared in Paris, Rome, Florence, Cologne, Prague, Ottawa, South Carolina and Dublin.

7. You don’t mention Britain. Did it hold out bravely? Naturellement. But eventually it succumbed. London, of course, but there have also been disturbing stories from Lochaber. In Chester, council officials removed all the padlocks from Queen’s Park suspension bridge, even though a report in Cheshire Today suggested the total weight of the locks was “little more than a medium-sized dog”. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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AROUND SCOTLAND

1 HIGHLANDS & ISLANDS Quicksand rescue

Energy subsidy cost to be shared across UK

A 13-year-old boy had to be rescued after becoming trapped up to his neck in quicksand in the Western Isles. The boy was having difficulty breathing when rescued from Scarista Beach in Harris. He was taken to hospital in Stornoway and then released.

Electricity bills in the north of Scotland are to drop by an average of £42 a year after a deal to subsidise the cost of providing electricity to the Shetland Islands across Great Britain was agreed. Previously, residents in the north of Scotland have had to pay the entire subsidy themselves. The move was announced by Prime Minister David Cameron (right) on a visit to Shetland. He was the first Prime Minister to visit Shetland since Margaret Thatcher in 1980.

2 GLASGOW & WEST Art school resilience praised No skirting round issue The UK Culture Secretary has hailed the resilience of Glasgow School of Art staff and students after visiting the fire-damaged building. Sajid Javid was in the city to see how UK Government funding will be used to help restore the renowned Charles Rennie Mackintosh building after it was gutted by fire in May (below). Chancellor George Osborne announced earlier this month that £5 million would be made available to go towards the cost of creating the school’s planned Graduate and Research Centre. This is in addition to £5 million pledged by the Government last month for the school’s Mackintosh Appeal.

A secret poem from a Glasgow woman was found sewn into the folds of a World War One kilt owned by a Southampton academic. Dr Helen Paul discovered the hand-written message when she was removing the packing stitches from the kilt, which has been passed down her family. The note is a poem which includes the line “if married never mind, if single drop me a line”. It was signed by Helen Govan, of 49 Ardgowan Street in Glasgow. The London Scottish Regiment kilt was manufactured by Peter Wilson of Bridge Street. Although intended for a soldier, it was never unpacked.

Dealer to friends walks free A Glasgow man caught dealing drugs at T in the Park walked free from a Perth court – because he only sold ecstasy to his friends. Christopher Bulloch admitted being concerned in the supply of ecstasy but only received 200 hours of community service because he was involved in a non-profit “social supply”.

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3 SOUTH SCOTLAND Councillor investigated Borders councillor Alastair Cranston is being investigated by standards watchdog the Commissioner for Ethical Standards in Public Life. The watchdog is investigating an alleged “non-declaration of interests” by the former Scottish rugby international. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

It is understood Mr Cranston was reported by a fellow councillor. Mr Cranston, who represents Hawick and Denholm, declined to comment until the investigation concludes, other than to say he is innocent until proven otherwise. He won 19 caps for Scotland between 1976 and 1981.

Wickerman sizzles in sunshine More than 30,000 people attended the annual Wickerman festival in Galloway. Temperatures reached 29C on the first day of the festival, which saw acts perform on 10 stages. Performers included Dizzee Rascal, Martha Reeves and the Vandellas and Del Amitri. Despite the sunshine, the event was not a complete sellout as it was last year. Organisers said this was expected because of the Commonwealth Games.

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AROUND SCOTLAND 4 NORTH EAST, ORKNEY & SHETLAND

Surgeon’s sex toy discovery

Hearing on controversial plans for headquarters A public hearing will be held into controversial plans for the redevelopment of the site of the former Aberdeen City Council headquarters. Developers Muse want to build a hotel and office complex on the city centre site following the demolition of St Nicholas House. The company’s £107m plan also includes building shops and restaurants. The public hearing will take place at Aberdeen Town House on August 28. In 2011, more than 1,000 council staff vacated the 14-storey St Nicholas House building, erected in 1968. They are now based in the refurbished Marischal College building. Store owners have complained the work will deter people from visiting Aberdeen city centre.

5 TAYSIDE & CENTRAL

Aberdeen surgeons removed a sex toy from a woman’s body that had been there for 10 years without her realising it. The 38-year-old attended Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after suffering symptoms including severe weight loss and shaking. It was only after an x-ray that medics spotted the five-inch object. The woman told doctors it had been 10 years since she had used the sex toy.

Bin lorry rampage

A man who went on the rampage in a stolen bin lorry has been jailed for four The Kinross-shire landowner who owns the Balado site which months. hosted T in the Park for 18 years is suing BP for £8.5 million. David Russell (25) admitted The festival is moving to Strathallan in Perthshire next year. leading officers on a 30The Health and Safety Executive had wanted to festival to move mile chase after stealing the because the Balado site runs over the Forties Pipeline, which vehicle from a Stirling Council carries oil from the North Sea to compound, trying to ram Grangemouth. police cars and crashing into a Now Douglas Alexander (left), bridge during the incident on who owns Balado, is claiming June 7. BP has breached an agreement Russell was jailed and also to pay him compensation if the pipe prevents him from making a banned from driving for 16 months at Stirling Sheriff Court. living from the land. Russell, of Bannockburn, It is understood BP dispute the Forties Pipeline is the sole reason was on bail for assaulting his wife when he stole the refuse the festival has moved. A six-day hearing at the Court of collection truck from the Session will be held next month. council depot in Fallin.

T in the Park landowner sues oil giant for £8.5 million

6 EDINBURGH, FIFE & EAST Road to nowhere

Doctor sacked for drink-driving wins unfair dismissal claim

Edinburgh City Council has been heavily criticised after digging up a section of bike lane in a popular city park about a year after building it. Campaigners say the local authority is “squandering” cash earmarked for improvements to cycling infrastructure. The short section of bike lane in Inverleith Park was part of the Craigleith to Botanic Garden Cycle Route. Edinburgh plans to spend £1.8m on initiatives to encourage cycling this financial year.

A doctor caught driving four times over the legal limit is to receive £70,000 in compensation after winning his claim of unfair dismissal. Dr Alan Stockman was so drunk when pulled over by police he was unable to open the door of his car. The pathologist was given a two year driving ban at Dunfermline Sheriff Court and banned from practising by the General Medical Council for 18 months. The pathologist was then sacked from his £48,000 a year job. He had been investigated over “alcohol problems” that arose at work before and his lawyers persuaded an Employment Tribunal NHS Fife should have done more to help him overcome addiction.

Orange Order’s pro-Union march The Orange Order has been given permission by councillors to hold a proUnion rally in Edinburgh five days before the Scottish independence referendum. The Grand Orange Lodge of Scotland, which is an official backer of the No campaign, plans to hold the march on Saturday September 13. It said it expects more than 10,000 people to take part in the march, five days before Scotland goes to the polls. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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AROUND BRITAIN

1 NORTHERN IRELAND

2 NORTH ENGLAND

Massive cuts planned

Playpark shooting

Police dog death

Crooks use MH17 tragedy for scam

Northern Ireland finance minister Simon Hamilton (below) is proposing dramatic cuts across all public services except health and education. A paper detailing the cuts has been circulated in response to severe budget pressures.

A father of two young children was left lying in a pool of blood in a play park after being told to go there to be “shot by appointment”. The 32-yearold was shot at a playpark in Londonderry. He suffered serious injuries. Police believe the man, who lived in a loyalist area, was attacked by loyalist paramilitaries.

The Independent Police Complaints Commission is investigating the death of a Middlesbrough woman who died after being mauled by a police dog. Irene Collins (73) was bitten by an Alsatian as police hunted for a suspected burglar in her home. Cleveland Police referred itself to the IPCC.

Facebook scammers set up fake tribute pages to victims of the MH17 crash in Ukraine. The pages, including one dedicated to Newcastle United fans, Liam Sweeney and John Adler, linked to sites which infect PCs with malware to steal bank details.

3 MIDLANDS & EAST Council tax bills set to rocket by 83%

Around 12,000 of the poorest households in Wolverhampton will see their council tax bills rise by 83%. People on benefits living in Band A properties will now have to pay £220 a year, up from £120, after councillors approved the increase. The government gave councils the power to decide how much council tax they grant last year.

4 WALES

Ex-UKIP MEP in dock

Golfer’s hometown ban overturned A ban on a golfer returning to his hometown after a car crash in which he killed a lecturer has been ruled unlawful by the High Court. Richard Bentham was jailed for three years after killing Dr Graham Howells in 2011. He was also banned from returning to Monmouth after his release as Dr Howells’ family said seeing him would be too upsetting to bear.

3 4

Paedophile singer’s appeal refused Judges have dismissed an appeal by Lostprophets singer Ian Watkins to have his sentence for child sex offences reduced. The Ponypridd singer was jailed for 29 years in December, with another six on licence. Appeal judges said his offences were “of shocking depravity”.

5 SOUTH WEST ENGLAND Call to put brakes on police Devon and Cornwall Police has spent around £30,000 repairing cars damaged because officers are not applying the handbrake over the last six months. Deputy Chief Constable Bill Skelly (right) said they had to issue instructions to officers advising them to apply the brake. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

A former UKIP MEP has been charged with money laundering and misconduct in public office. Nikki Sinclaire, who represented the West Midlands for UKIP, then as an independent, will appear at Birmingham Magistrates’ Court on September 17. She denies making false expense claims and transferring the proceeds of fraud through a bank account.

6 LONDON & SOUTH EAST Treated worse than livestock “Devilish” street art attacked The summer heatwave brought misery to commuters in London. Temperatures on the Underground reached 34.8C and air humidity hit 45%. Things were even worse above ground. Temperatures on some bus services hit 35.5C on the top deck. By comparison, cattle cannot be transported at temperatures above 30C.

A human rights film-maker has said he will not be intimidated by Muslim youths who vandalised his studio because street art on its window shutters depicts “the devil”. A gang of Bengali youths attacked the Brick Lane offices of Shafiur Rahman’s Six Oranges production company because they believe the mural of two eyes, a nose and a mouth is a djall, a one-eyed Islamic devil.

PEOPLE

news l 13

Glasgow prepares for one final party Massive TV audience expected for closing ceremony ■ Around a billion people across the 71 Commonwealth nations are expected to tune in this weekend as the curtain closes on a magnificent Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. The weekend’s closing ceremony celebration at Hampden Park will give everyone a chance to relive the highlights of the Games, along with surprise performances and special guests to see out the Games in style. Among those reportedly lined up include Kylie Minogue, with The Scottish Sun revealing that the Australian singer and former coach on The Voice will perform five of her hits. The paper suggested that landing the gig is set to “turn around her flagging career” in the wake of her somewhat disappointing album sales. However, if Kylie does appear, it will be something of a poignant moment given that she had been due to perform at the opening ceremony of Melbourne Games back in 2006 but was forced to cancel when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

The power of a Tweet ■ A Glasgow woman’s complaint to Primark prompted the removal of some mannequins from their shop windows. Mel Fraser tweeted the store to ask if it was “really necessary” for displays to have protruding ribs.

Convicts lose voting appeal

You can take Wullie out of Scotland for a Spanish holiday, but you can’t take the Scotland out of Wullie...

■ Two prisoners banned from voting in next month’s independence referendum lost their Supreme Court appeal. Lawyers acting for convicted killers Leslie Moohan (31) and Andrew Gillon (46) argued judges had previously erred when they ruled the ban on prisoners voting did not infringe human rights laws. However, their case has now been rejected by seven Supreme Court judges in what The Guardian called “an unusually quick” decision. They said there was no clear common law right to vote in the UK.

Love is in the air ■ Team Scotland cyclist Chris Pritchard delighted the crowd by proposing to his partner after a race. The 31-year-old popped the question to Amanda Ball, who said yes. Parasport star Aileen McGlynn also got engaged.

Tears turn to anger over Mikaeel Shock and revulsion after mother pleads guilty to culpable homicide of three-year-old she reported “missing”

■ It was a case that stunned Scotland, and now Rosdeep Adekoya is facing a lengthy spell in prison after admitting killing her son Mikaeel Kular (see also page four). And judging by reports that followed in the days after her admission in court, it is a

case that will have some lasting repercussions. The Daily Record highlighted the viewpoints of some MSPs, including Scottish Labour justice spokesman Graeme Pearson, that individual council staff should be held responsible for the social work failure to prevent Mikaeel’s death. Adekoya’s internet history showed searches including “I find it hard to love my son”, “I love all of my children except one”, “Why am I so aggressive

with my son” and “Get rid of bruises”, while just prior to Mikaeel’s death she had “lost her temper” after the youngster had been sick following a trip to Nando’s. Meanwhile, The Scottish Sun said Mikaeel’s father Zahid Saeed labelled Adekoya as a “demon” and called for her to “rot” in jail, while the Sunday Post revealed that Mikaeel’s four-year-old twin sister Ashika is now at the centre of a bitter tug-of-love battle.

Sofie in Scotland ■ The star of TV series The Killing revealed how breast cancer motivated her to take the lead in a new Scottish production. Sofie Grabol will perform in a historical trilogy from the National Theatre of Scotland. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

14 l news

BEST OF SCOTTISH COMMENT

Leadership needed in Middle East

Victims of our own thin skins

Jim Sillars

Lori Anderson

Edinburgh Evening News

The Scotsman

■ It is time political leaders understand that when they go to war, they cannot predict or control the results, said Jim Sillars in a pessimistic column for the Edinburgh Evening News. He said “dogs of war devour people” and that end result is always the same: loss of life. Whereas he once believed he was part of a generation that “would end all wars” he now believes differently and even accepts that when faced with the worst tyranny, conflict may be necessary. But Sillars said leaders need to exercise “maximum control”, something he said is in tragically short supply in Israel and Palestine. He described Yasser Arafat’s leadership as disastrous for the Palestinians, while the Israelis also lack a “Mandela figure” who “can speak truth not only to the other side, but to his own people”. If there is ever to be peace, Sillars said, Israelis need to accept their country was founded at the expense of Palestine and end the illegal settlements. The Palestinians, on the other hand, must begin to accept that Israel is here to stay.

■ Casting her mind back to the Jack Lemmon movie How to Murder Your Wife, The Scotsman’s Lori Anderson recalled how a desk sergeant told Lemmon’s character he may have caused his wife’s disappearance because “women are mistresses of the imagined slight”. Anderson said that comment now applies to the population at large, as “we’ve all become hypersensitised to every possible slight or insult”. She said that whereas in days gone by insults hurt because they were personal, now “some people go searching for offence” and will seize on comments they disagree with or which are clumsy “and claim them as their own personal wound”. Anderson added in the US there are attempts to transform the innocent question “where are you from?” into a form of racism, something Anderson said she does not understand as “there is no reason for anyone not to be proud of their racial or geographic origins”. She also despaired at American universities putting warnings on novels such as The Great Gatsby in case they disturb students.

Yes clamjamfry may mislead

Bill Paterson Scottish Review

■ Celebrities have been everywhere during the referendum campaign and actor Bill Paterson (above, on left) said even those Scots who will not have a vote “are apparently of interest”. But he said the “seemingly overwhelming support for the Yes campaign” amongst people who work in the arts may be misleading. While he noted “a positive clamjamfry of writers, artists, actors and musicians are actively supporting the Yes campaign” he said support for Better Together is, the odd video starring John Barrowman and Ross Kemp aside, oddly muted. Paterson said celebrity supporters of the Yes

campaign “will be in convivial and supportive company” and that even if there is a No vote, said celebrity will still be regarded as a “progressive” and “a freedom fighter”. But Paterson then asked readers “to put themselves in the Brogues of this summer’s celebrity No supporter”. He said while they “almost certainly have as much concern for Scotland as any Yes man” they will be “isolated, yet conspicuous” in their support. “The polls may be on your side, but it won’t feel like that in the bar of the Oran Mor,” he said. And, he said, if there is a No vote, those celebrities who came out for Better Together will never be allowed to forget it, especially if they are a “No person living in Islington”. Paterson concluded: “So if you’re wondering why the Scottish celebrity support for the No campaign seems muted, it might be because of this fear, which may give pause for thought about the present mood in Scotland.”

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Pests come in all shapes in sizes, but the Evening Telegraph warned the people of Dundee about a new scourge. Drunk wasps. Yes, the paper’s Connor McCann suggested that the “unassuming public of Dundee” should be wary of “drunk wasps causing chaos in the streets, public parks and even in your back garden”. “After building their nests and providing the queen with enough nectar, vast numbers of jobless wasps are predicted to start floating around getting drunk on all the fermented the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

fruit and sugary substances they can find,” the paper explained. And John Thow, of Strathearn Pest Control, said drunk wasps were particularly bad because they “sting without warning”. The paper also quoted Jim Hardie, of the Royal Entomological Society, who said people could protect themselves by “not going outside and eating a jam sandwich”. “Like the rowdy character in your local pub,” McCann concluded, “experts say just leave them alone or move away’.”

16 l news Time to put Commonwealth out of its misery

Philip Collins The Times

■ As he watched the athletes march into Celtic Park during the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games (below), The Times’ Philip Collins came to the conclusion “this is a gathering that is dying and may deserve to”. Collins said the Commonwealth charter which all member nations are supposed to sign up to is nothing but “a laughable jumble of agreeable banality about the core values of peace, democracy, gender equality, human rights and free expression”. This, he said, would be harmlessly irrelevant were it not for the fact that it is illegal to be gay in 42 of the 53 member nations. John Barrowman, Collins added,

BEST OF briTISH comment would have been risking the death penalty in Uganda had he kissed another man publicly there. Sticking to his theme, Collins then noted that nearly half of all Commonwealth nations still have the death penalty. Some even execute juvenile offenders, “a clear breach of international human rights as well as morally disreputable”. Collins said that if the Commonwealth is to have any real relevance in the 21st century it needs to get back to its “noble origins”. For him, this means it needs to “start expelling its members who, on no feasible definition, can be said to embody the values to which the organisation is ostensibly committed”. However, he believes there is hope, albeit slight. He said the ties between Commonwealth nations should “provide a major stimulus” to trade. But he warned capitalising on this will “take leadership that an apolitical monarch” cannot provide. Instead poorer nations, like India and South Africa, will need to take up the challenge of revitalisation.

England paying cost of Union

Chin up, Mr Salmond

Vernon Bogdanor

Mary Dejevsky

The Financial Times

The Independent

■ Polls suggest Scotland will decide to reject independence in September’s referendum but this could only “intensify” the challenges facing the UK’s constitution, said Vernon Bogdanor in The Financial Times. Bogdanor, a professor of government at King’s College London, said the promise by all the main pro-Union parties of more powers for Scotland after a No vote “could resurrect the ‘West Lothian Question’” that allows Scottish MPs to vote on English matters but not vice versa. This, he said, could place the Union under renewed threat “not from Scotland but England, the only part of the UK without its own parliament or assembly”. Bogdanor said there is unlikely to be any decentralisation of power in England any time soon although devolution in Scotland may encourage a wider dispersal of powers across England. Until then, he said, “we are stuck with an asymmetrical and unbalanced constitution”, a “price” England pays for maintaining the Union. Proof, he said, that the UK “is governed not by logic but by parliament”.

■ Tuning into the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony, The Independent’s Mary Dejevsky hoped to put her finger on the pulse as the competition will “be interpreted as having a political message”. Dejevsky said First Minister Alex Salmond, appeared “well below his usual ebullient self”. While she said it was impossible to tell whether this is because the Games are supposed to be a politics-free zone or because he knows “that his cause is already lost”, she could not escape the conclusion he was “a little deflated and diminished”. She said the First Minister’s “demeanour suggested some damage has already been done to the cohesion, not just of the Union, but of Scotland”. Dejevsky said the stakes were raised when it began to look as if the Yes campaign could win and that any split is now likely “to become and illtempered scrap over property and children”. But she said even if the cause is doomed “Salmond should fight to the end” or risk the “resentment” of independence supporters.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ A new study by scientists at the University of Edinburgh has suggested that dinosaurs were killed off due to “colossal bad luck”. Dr Steve Brusatte, of Edinburgh University, said sea level rises and volcanic activity had made many species more susceptible to extinction, meaning that they may have survived if the asteroid had hit the Earth a few million years later or earlier. The assessment was published in the Biological Reviews journal and concluded “a perfect storm” of events had occurred. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

The study brought together 11 leading dinosaur experts from the UK, US and Canada to assess the latest research on the extinction of dinosaurs 66 million years ago. And Dr Brusatte claimed that, if the asteroid strike had been earlier or later, we would be living in a dinosaur dominated world today. “Except that we would not be here because mammals would not have had the opportunity to blossom and we would not be having this conversation!” he told BBC News.

18 l news

everybody’s talking about...

Glasgow’s Games legacy What will be the long-term benefits for the city after the party is over? 1. Why has legacy become such a buzz word at major events like the Olympics and the Commonwealth Games? Governments spend vast sums of money in hosting these events, so they are desperate to show that they bring long-term benefits for the country as whole. Politicians are terrified by memories of the 1976 Montreal Olympics, which plunged the city into debt for 30 years with disastrous consequences. It’s estimated that staging the 2012 London Olympics cost the taxpayer a whopping £9 billion, so it’s no wonder David Cameron was keen to point out that the huge outlay has been more than recouped. The PM quoted new figures that show that the original four-year target of raising £11 billion from the Games has already been passed, with contracts, sales and foreign investments reaching £14 billion.

3. What will it all actually mean for the city and Scotland?

4. What do the people who live there think about it?

The sun has shone, and the images of Glasgow beamed to audiences of a billion all over the world must have tourism bosses rubbing their hands with glee. Also, much has been made of the ‘regeneration’ of Glasgow’s East End that will hopefully be one of the main positives of the Games. Organisers have worked with urban regeneration body Clyde Gateway to ensure there is a lasting post-2014 legacy for the area, including new sports facilities and housing.

There has been massive disruption to areas like Dalmarnock, where houses have been pulled down and streets and communities flattened to make way for new venues and transport links. It’s fair to say that some locals are sceptical about whether they will see any lasting benefits from the massive changes wrought on their community.

2. So what is Alex Salmond saying about the legacy of Glasgow’s Games? The First Minister said that the Games will bring a major economic boost to Scotland, with 70% of all contracts going to Scottish businesses resulting in job opportunities for thousands of young people. The Scotsman reported last week that Scottish companies have benefited from these contracts to the tune of £769 million, and Vaughan Hart of the Scottish Building Federation says the industry will continue to benefit, with £50m of post-summer regeneration work still in the pipeline.

Much of that will come from the post-Games transformation of the athletes’ village, a public-private partnership scheme in the Dalmarnock area, near Celtic Park football stadium. Also in the east of the city, millions have been pumped into building new venues such as the Emirates Arena, Glasgow Green Hockey Centre and the Tollcross International Swimming Centre.

5. Will there really be health benefits and increased participation in sport ? A tricky question. In The Herald Kevin Ferrie highlighted the “failure to sustain the rise of numbers” of people engaged in sport that were promised before the Olympics”. The Glasgow organisers also aim to increase sports participation, but Jennifer Dempsie, writing in The Courier, pointed out that, unlike other host cities, they have taken care to plan at grass roots level. So, for example, if everyone suddenly decides to abandon the sofa and take up badminton or netball after the Games, there should be enough capacity at club level to cope with the extra demand. But a note of realism was sounded by Professor Leigh Robinson of Stirling University, who said major health benefits are unlikely as “watching someone win a gold medal won’t necessarily change your attitude to physical activity in the long-term”.

The Commonwealth Games IN NUMBERS

The number of Scottie dogs leading the teams out in the opening ceremony the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

£20.8m The total cost of the Games opening and closing ceremonies

news l 19

BOFFINS

Seals find food on the farm

Offshore turbines prove fertile hunting grounds

Life’s ‘twisters’ ■ Dundee University scientists have paved the way for a greater understanding of the evolution of organisms over billions of years. Using X-ray crystallography, Professor David Lilley and his team determined the structure of an enzyme which played a key role in the origin of life on the planet. The ‘twister’ ribozyme, discovered by Yale University scientists, occurs in bacteria, animals and plants. It was so named because it resembles the Egyptian hieroglyph ‘twisted flax’. Ribozymes speed up some of the most important chemical reactions in cells.

■ Seals are taking advantage of offshore wind farms to find food, according to research led by scientists at St Andrews University. Using satellite tracking of seals swimming off the British and Dutch coasts of the North Sea, boffins found that 11 out of 118 seals visited two active wind farms off the German and UK coasts. The animals worked through the areas in a grid-like pattern, appearing to focus their hunt for prey on certain areas, The Press and Journal reported. Two seals off the Netherlands coast also tracked a section

of sub-sea pipeline, following it on multiple trips for days at a time. Man-made structures in the sea create “artificial reefs”, where the number of fish and crustaceans increases. However, it is not yet clear if the presence of turbines increases the amount of such prey or simply concentrates it in a new location. Based on their route patterns, the study also showed that the seals “understand very well what they were searching for”. and could take up to 10 days hunting for specific food.

Ancient site faces threat from sea ■ A 4,000-year-old treasure trove of archaeology in Orkney is at risk from the sea, The Herald reported. Dr Stephen Dockrill, leader of the excavation at the Bay of Swandro on the Isle of Rousay, said the exposed site could be destroyed by one large wave at any time. It was the sea that uncovered the settlement in 2010 when Dr Julie Bond, a colleague of Dr Dockrill’s at Bradford University, noticed odd stones among pebbles. Since then, erosion on the seaward side has revealed a sequence of levels from the Middle Iron Age through the Late Iron Age to the period of Norse settlement. Discoveries have included a Neolithic chambered cairn, a possible Iron Age house, Pictish dwellings and a chambered tomb.

Researchers found that eating probiotics regularly lowered systolic blood pressure by an average ■ Cuddly meerkats

have a darker side, according to scientists at Edinburgh University. Alpha females control breeding through violence, preventing other females from having pups and killing their own grandchildren. When adult female helpers were given contraceptive jabs, alpha breeders were less aggressive towards them, foraged more and put on weight.

3.56mm

of mercury, The Herald reported. Boffins at Griffith University, Queensland, Australia, also found probiotics with multiple bacteria more effective than those with just one.

How owning a pooch can take years off you ■ If you want to stay young at heart, get a dog. That was the finding of a study carried out by researchers at St Andrews University. The study by Dr Zhiqiang Feng and his team also showed that owning a mutt can benefit an older person’s mental health, as well as leading them to act 10 years younger than their biological age. As The Courier reported, Dr Feng monitored the activity of 547 older people in Tayside with an average

age of 79. The dog owners among them were 12% more active than their pooch-free counterparts and also showed lower levels of anxiety and depression. Previous studies have shown healthier levels of both blood pressure and heart rate. “It is known pets may help alleviate feelings of loneliness and depression, but one area that has received little attention is dog ownership on physical activity of the elderly,” Dr Feng said. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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LETTERS TO THE EDITORS Views fall on deaf ears

best of the week

A perfect Glasgow kiss ■ Eighty per cent of countries participating in the Commonwealth Games criminalise homosexuality. There is sometimes distaste for what is seen as the hijacking of an international event to showcase a political agenda, but we should remember that Article Seven of the Commonwealth Games Federation constitution itself states: “There shall be no discrimination against any country or person on any grounds whatsoever, including race, colour, gender, religion or politics.” This is not some issue of fishing territories or the price of oranges, this is about gay people being imprisoned in their own countries for being who they are. As nations gather in Glasgow to celebrate shared values, we rightly draw attention to the values we do not share.

■ I have a great deal of respect for Val McDermid – as a writer (though a little too gruesome at times) and a person. She’s gutsy, funny and intelligent. However, I have no interest in Val’s views on the referendum, nor those of any other frequently quoted “celebrity” writers, musicians, sportspersons, entertainers etc. – most of whom live outside Scotland and have no vote. The opinion of such folk, many of whom live a rarified and economically cushioned lifestyle, is unlikely to have any bearing on my vote and the result of the referendum is likely to have an impact on my life more severe than theirs. I would be grateful, therefore, if the media would spare me (and others) the thoughts of famous people on the referendum. They are irrelevant to the debate. Monique S Sanders, Giffordtown, Ladybank The Courier

Love and marriage, trouble and strife ■ When I started my ministry in 1970, a wedding was an occasion for the hatchet to be momentarily buried and a divorced father allowed to “give away” his daughter. But in recent years, the event

Neil Barber, Saughtonhall Drive, Edinburgh The Scotsman the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

has increasingly been used as yet another opportunity to strike a blow in a vengeful divorce, with the father not even invited to the ceremony. As a cleric, I cannot stop people doing vile things to each other. But I will not be a party to such actions, nor will I allow them to take place in my church. Such bitter charades should be consigned to register offices or hostelries where there would be no chance of them being mistaken for a celebration of human love before God. Dr John Cameron, St Andrews, Fife The Daily Telegraph

Rear view ■ It is interesting to note that even in these enlightened times the Rear of the Year title (won this year by former Countdown presenter Carol Vorderman) is still competed for. It does, at least, serve the useful purpose of recalling pleasant memories of the boxer Joe Louis’ Bum of the Month campaign, when he defended his world title 13 times in the period from January 1939 to May 1941. Ken Nicholson, 3 Letham Court, Glasgow The Herald

No compassion

■ We are all being encouraged to recycle. In our area, houses are being bought and then demolished. The planning department seems to have no objections to the practice of kitchens, bathrooms, flooring and mountains of stone being thrown into a skip. My cardboard and plastic bottles pale by comparison. Hopefully a far more far-sighted group of people in government and council departments will try and curtail this trend.

■ I was disgusted to read of Maddie Stevens (11), who was refused an end-of-term school trip because she had a day off for her mother’s funeral. Then I read about terminally ill Curtis Ingrouille-Kidd (13) whose mother has been threatened with a fine and a criminal record if she takes him out of school for a holiday. What has this country come to? It infuriates me because my son’s school recently finished at lunchtime so the teachers could say goodbye to a staff member.

Doris Duff, Belmont Gardens, Edinburgh The Scotsman

Carol Drage, by e-mail The Scottish Sun

Home truths

that’s debatable ■ Police officers require the public’s support and their respect for law and order. This is the democratic deal between the public and our gallant law and order enforcers. That police officers are openly armed across Scotland without public approval or, more seriously, the democratic consent of the Scottish Parliament, is of concern, particularly as this example provides an unpalatable taste of an independent government under nationalist control. Garry Smith, Glasgow Scottish Daily Mail ■ The standing authority for firearms is now common across the vast majority of the UK. It enables the police to respond quickly and appropriately to any armed threat wherever it may occur. Indeed, the majority of the most infamous firearms incidents have occurred in

our more rural communities where suitablyarmed officers may not have been readily available to protect their community. In practice, an extremely small proportion of the police officers on patrol in Scotland on a daily basis are armed. Consequently, this policy does not threaten the unarmed nature of standard service delivery in this country, a traditional style which is widely respected and of which we are rightly proud. Whilst the Chief Constable should always be prepared to explain his policies to the Scottish Police Authority or our elected politicians, we would defend his right to make operational decisions without interference. It is our belief that his stance on the matter is sensible and pragmatic and should therefore receive their full support. Chief Supt Niven Rennie, Tulliallan, Fife The Herald Letters have been edited

l 21

THE WEE PAPERS

A taste of...

England’s Scott wins

Litter help sought

■ Thousands of visitors flooded in to a rainsoaked Highland Games at the Moss O’ Balloch, where Scott Rider from England was crowned World Heavyweight champion. Games treasurer Richard McGilchrist told the Reporter that the increased number of foreign visitors in attendance this year was “great to see”.

■ West Dunbartonshire Council has called on residents of Dumbarton and the Vale of Leven to support its ‘Do The Right Thing’ campaign against litter. The authority wants residents to identify local litter hot spots, although areas like routes around secondary schools, town centres, fast food outlets and the A82 slip roads will all be targeted under the initiative. Local councillor Patrick McGlinchey said

Cold caller scam

sport Club’s new strip ■ A new strip for Dumbarton football club’s forthcoming season has been unveiled, Andrew Clark reported. The white top with three bands round the chest features the name of new sponsor Baxter Ramsay, a business recovery specialist firm owned by lifelong fan David Ramsay, who was “proud” to back the team.

Draw for Sons ■ Dumbarton earned a 1-1 draw in a pre-season friendly with Premiership side Partick Thistle at a rain-soaked Bet Butler Stadium. Substitute Bryan Prunty put the Sons ahead with a diving header in the second half, but Partick’s Ryan Stevenson levelled with a deflection-aided shot.

■ Local computer owners are being reminded to beware cold callers after an 83-year-old Dumbarton woman was conned out of £145, Stephen Walsh reported. The OAP was called by a man with an Indian accent who fraudulently claimed to work for Microsoft and said her computer needed urgent security upgrades.

Sheathed knife attack ■ A Bonhill woman who lunged at a police officer while holding a sheathed knife has been placed under supervision for two years and must do 180 hours of unpaid work. Dumbarton Sheriff Court heard how Paige Ruddy’s terrified fiancée had earlier locked herself in the bathroom.

the actions of a “small minority” gave a bad impression of the area.

Drugs in freezer ■ A man avoided prison despite Dumbarton Sheriff Court hearing that £2,780 worth of amphetamines had been found in his freezer. Kieran Campbell (28), of Levenvale, claimed he had been bullied into storing the class B substance by someone in the drug trade. Sheriff Colin McKay ordered Campbell to do 300 hours’ unpaid work.

THE BIG STORY Man jailed after dog’s vicious attack ■ A dog owner has been jailed for five months after his Staffordshire Bull Terrier savaged a tiny Yorkshire Terrier, Fraser Wilson reported. Daniel Brooks (43) initially denied being in charge of the dog, but then pleaded guilty at Dumbarton Sheriff Court. He was banned from keeping dogs for three years. His Staffordshire Bull has since been destroyed. The Yorkshire Terrier’s injuries were so severe it had to be put down. The horrifying case led both Police Scotland and the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to remind dog owners of their responsibilities. SSPCA chief superintendent Mike Flynn said: “Anyone with an animal that shows aggression towards another animal or person has a responsibility to rectify this problem immediately through training or veterinary advice.” Inspector Neil Smith of Police Scotland said the “substantial punishment” should remind dog owners of the need to keep their pets under control at all times.

EVENING ALL Edinburgh Evening News

Evening Express

Evening Times

Greenock Telegraph

Evening Telegraph

■ Elderly outpatients

■ A community group

■ Glasgow must continue

■ A painting by artist

■ A Dundee drug addict

and visitors to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary have been queuing at a smoking shelter thinking it was a bus stop. The confusion started when the bus stop was moved. Smokers regularly direct OAPs away from the shelter, while a hospital staff member has been asked to offer directions.

has hit out after Aberdeen City Council’s planning committee approved plans for a five-storey office block next to a busy road. Cove and Altens Community Council expressed concern about traffic and the height of the proposed building on the brownfield site at Altens Industrial Estate.

the effort to attract more visitors and investors in the wake of the Games, according to the chief executive of the city’s Chamber of Commerce. Stuart Patrick said: “The city doesn’t need regenerated, we’ve done it. Glasgow is once again an economic powerhouse for Scotland.”

William Scott has fetched £74,500 at a Christie’s auction in London. Blue Still Life, which consists of two bowls and beaker shapes in blackblue space, had been expected to go for up to £60,000. Scott was born in Greenock in 1913 and died in 1989.

who stole a pensioner’s handbag as she sat in church has been jailed for a total of three months and 15 days. Grant Harvey (43) had been sitting behind the 75-year-old woman at St Mary’s Church, Lochee. In court, Sheriff George Way said Harvey had “crossed a line”.

2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

22 l

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST

NEWS BLOGS Winning the battle, losing the war By George Eaton ❘ The Staggers Naturally, most Conservatives are unionists, but, writing on The New Statesman’s rolling blog, political editor George Eaton said there will be some who, if Scotland votes No, will regret missing the chance to “tilt the electoral landscape in their favour”. He said if Scotland does reject independence, then thoughts will turn to the “least predictable” General Election since 1992. Eaton said all leaders can honestly tell their conferences to “prepare for government” this year, but winning may prove a poisoned chalice for them all.

■ The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

enjoyed themselves while watching swimming at Tollcross during the Commonwealth Games.

■ Preparations were made at Edinburgh Fringe Festival venues across the capital ahead of the start of the festival.

www.newstatesman.com/the-staggers

Games influence will be fleeting By Michael Silk ❘ The Conversation Any surge of Scottish or British patriotism triggered by the Commonwealth Games is unlikely to be long-lasting, Michael Silk, a reader in physical culture studies at Bath University, wrote on The Conversation. He said “any euphoric hot nationalist attachment to some form of a mythical or manufactured Scottishness is likely to quickly dissipate”, just as feelings of Britishness inspired by London 2012 did. “In the end, it is likely to make little difference to the independence referendum,” he concluded.

■ The largest ever flotilla of boats made their way up the River Clyde.

www.theconversation.com

Missing voters must be inspired By Robert Girvan ❘ The Garden Lobby Some experts are predicting a turnout as high as 80% for the independence referendum in September. But The Garden Lobby’s Robert Girvan said this would buck the trend of decreasing voter engagement. He said no Scottish Parliament election has yet seen a turnout of more than 60%. “There remains a consistent and long lasting political disengagement which should be of concern to political leaders,” he said. www.thegardenlobby.com

Tell Scotland’s story, warts and all By Charlotte Wrigley ❘ Beyond the Bloomin’ Heather

Scotland’s tourism industry wants to project an image of “untamed wilderness” but Charlotte Wrigley said tourists should learn the “whole story”, not a doctored version. beyondthebloominheather.wordpress.com the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

■ Prince Charles shared a joke with a member of the Jamaican Commonwealth boxing team as he visited the Emirates Arena.

■ Canada’s women’s hockey team showed their cheeky side to the cameras during the Commonwealth Games.

NEWS TWEETS #Scotland

Smoke and flags, can we not just focus on how well we’ve been doing?

John Barrowman is the Jar-Jar Binks of Scotland.

Are my eyes deceiving me #Scotland, or do you have a wee bit of a swagger going on this week? Confidence shooting through the roof. Superb!

Thomas Simpson @Simmy41

D C Jackson @mrdcjackson

Serial Scottie Thief @serialsockthief

l 23

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST good week Can Gary hack new job? The Scot who hacked into some of the world’s most secure computer networks has set up his own business, The Herald reported. Gary McKinnon, who was arrested in 2002 for breaching security systems at Nasa and the Pentagon, is offering IT help for £40 an hour.

Prestigious parks A record number of Scottish parks received prestigious awards for quality, said The Herald. Keep Scotland Beautiful has named 59 parks in its Green Flag scheme, eight more than last year’s total.

■ Our word cloud amalgamates all the top stories from the Scottish papers, with greatest prominence given to the most frequently used words.

GOSSIP OF THE WEEK

bad week

Amy joins the golf set

Taking the cake A nursery worker landed in trouble after bosses saw her dance as a Tunnock’s teacake in the Glasgow 2014 opening ceremony. The Scottish Sun said Amy McIntosh had told staff at Woodlands Day Nursery she had tonsilitis.

Gillan’s weighty issue

Unhappy when it rains A mum revealed how she has been trapped in her home due to electric-type shocks sparked by rain. The Scottish Sun’s Stuart Patterson said Nikki Mackenzie (27) suffers up to 200 “agonising” headaches a day triggered by water, wind and touch.

The Scots star of Marvel’s new movie ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ ended up losing weight while trying to do the opposite for the role. Karen Gillan, who appeared in Doctor Who, is finding success Stateside and told the Scottish Daily Mail: ’They wanted me to bulk up and, as you can see, I’ve been really successful (sarcastic).”

Singer Amy MacDonald, fresh from her performance at the Commonwealth Games’ opening ceremony, has been added to the line-up for the 2014 Ryder Cup Gala Concert. BBC Scotland revealed she will perform a one-off collaboration with the Royal Scottish National Orchestra (RSNO) at the SSE Hydro concert on September 24, a few days before USA take on Europe at golf in Gleneagles.

McLean making a comeback Loose Women’s Andrea McLean said she feels happier than ever as she prepares to be a contestant on the BBC’S new gymnastics show Tumble. The Daily Record said the former GMTV weather girl’s life “cartwheeled into crisis” after

her second marriage broke up on Boxing Day 2012, causing her “not to go out for a year”. But McLean told the paper she has put that episode behind her.

Smitten Scot Actor Martin Compston has found love with an American cheerleader, the Daily Record’s Toby McDonald revealed. The paper told how the Greenock-born actor – soon to star in Robert Carlyle’s Legend Of Barney Thomson – showed Tianna Chanel Flynn his Scottish homeland.

DJ keeps it close to home Calvin Harris is taking time off from writing for other artists – to concentrate on his own music. The Dumfries DJ told the Scottish Daily Mirror he needed to “take care of me”.

Great #Glasgow2014 fact: the giant teacakes weren’t just costumes but actual teacakes. Performers had to eat the filling to get in.

Record-breakers! Brilliant @Team_ Scotland wins more medals than at any previous C’wealth Games.

Well done @Team_ Scotland winning record 34 medals thanks to the silver won by the men’s gymnastics team.

Wait, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have to wear photo ID to the Commonwealth Games? Seriously?

Scotland’s #Glasgow2014 team gymnastics silver is the first time a nation other than Eng, Aus or Can has achieved podium place since 1978.

Euan McColm @euanmccolm

Nicola Sturgeon @NicolaSturgeon

Shona Robison @ShonaRobison

Joan Chang @joanchang

Martyn McLaughlin @MartynMcL 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

24 l

Stooshie of the week

aye or ay ❘ eye ❘

1. means yes. Usage: “Aye, it’s time to put the phones down.” ■ Remember a time when people actually used to enjoy experiences? A simpler time, when someone was doing something or other without a sudden urge to grab their phone or tablet to either record what they were doing or pop on to one of a plethora of social media sites to tell others what they were doing? The majority of people would view technological change as a positive development, and I’m not one to disagree with that statement. The internet has certainly been a boost rather than a bane. But that comes with a caveat. In this day and age, with all this technology, we are each given an opportunity to offer others a glimpse into our lives, no matter how boring or exciting they are. But it was disappointing to see athletes from every country taking part in the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony wielding phones and tablets, taking photos and recording as they walked around Celtic Park rather than doing what they should have been doing: taking it in. It’s the same at concerts and music festivals like T in the Park. As soon as the first strum of a guitar is heard, thousands of phones are raised skyward.

It’s surprising arm extensionrelated injuries have not increased tenfold (although in saying that they probably have). The argument of recording it for posterity’s sake is a complete misnomer as, if you’ve ever recorded something using a phone or tablet, you’ll know that the quality is either terrible or that it will more than likely be lost forever when you decide to upgrade or your existing device packs in. So why even bother? Just savour the atmosphere and use your memory banks to recall the moment. Failing that, get a friend to record it if it’s on TV. And don’t even get me started on selfies. We’ve ‘graduated’ from straightforward pics of a person’s face to bum selfies, gym selfies, trelfies (travel selfies) and even wealfies. Yes, taking a pic of yourself at the Commonwealth Games was christened a wealfie. Is there anything more narcissistic? The Huffington Post reported how scientists in the UK studied the very issue last year and found that posting selfies was damaging to people’s ‘real world’ relationships. So maybe it’s time we took a good look at ourselves – and stop short of capturing that particular view on camera.

Are smart phones making us dumb? Why do people, even Commonwealth Games athletes, insist on photographing or filming everything in front of them?

AS ITHERS SEE US!

O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! To a Louse ❘ Robert Burns But he stressed that the The eyes of the “giant elephant” – one “not world have been on Glasgow, and the international exactly shyly hiding in the corner of the room” – was the media has been reflecting on independence referendum. all things Scottish. Leggat said if the Games The New Zealand Herald’s David Leggat said “the pursuit turned out to be a “roaring success” then “imagine how of sporting excellence” had been clearly top of the agenda that would bolster the selfesteem of the nation”. since day one of the Games. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

“Your country has had a cracking time of it, feelgood is thick in the air,” he said. “Now extrapolate. How much would that do to sway the fence sitters, in the sense of the country having proved its capability to stand alone and oversee a winning event?”

India’s Zee News had plenty to say about the Games’ opening ceremony, describing it as “spectacular” with “some Indian flavour”. It was impressed by Scotland’s “dazzling and colourful display of their unique culture and heritage on a breathtaking night”, adding that it had been a “surprisingly subdued Glasgow” that “suddenly sprang to life and exuberance with a three-hour mesmerising show of light and sound”. The Indians were “cheered as they entered with the tune of popular Bollywood numbers “Nagada Nagada” and “Pyar Do”, it added.

l 25

Stooshie of the week

naw

❘ naw ❘

1. means no or not. Usage: “Naw, it’s just a bit of fun.”

The Edmonton Sun’s Terry Jones said Canadians had a “night to remember” as the Games kicked-off and had been “rocking the plaid” throughout the week - referring to the costume of choice, particularly the men’s trousers. He noted that it was “not just any old plaid” the Canadian contingent wore but the “forgotten Maple Leaf Tartan plaid created for Canada’s centennial celebrations back in 1967”. But he added: “Maybe it had nothing to do with the pants at all. Maybe it was who was wearing them.”

The Games will head to Australia next and, writing in The Australian, Wayne Smith suggested the bar has been set – although he did poke fun at the opening ceremony we conjured up. “Name a Scottish icon, it got an airing, be it Nessie, the Loch Ness monster, Susan Boyle, tossed cabers or Rod Stewart, pumping out his signature “The Rhythm of My Heart”,” he said. “Not that the Scots were showing their dour side, not on this night, even parodying their own weather in a cute takeoff of Men at Work’s “Land Down Under.”

■ Once upon a time it used to be cigarette lighters that crowds would hold aloft as a band launched into their biggest, most overblown hit. Now if you go to a gig, or any event really, from a simple night in the pub to the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games, you can expect to see the glare from hundreds of tiny screens lighting up faces in the crowd. Most often they are filming or photographing events but almost as popular is the dreaded “selfie”, where someone decides to take a selfportrait by holding their phone at arm’s length. These pictures usually end up on social media, as if to prove to one’s virtual friends that the subject does indeed have a real life they enjoy. But while there’s no doubt a strong element of narcissism involved, is any of this really doing any harm? Yes, it may seem bizarre that rather than just soaking up the atmosphere of a gig or, heaven forfend, concentrating on the performance so many people will spend good money to watch events through the screen on their smart phone but it is not a new phenomenon. Despite their general awfulness, The Grateful Dead

had legions of devoted fans who were allowed to bootleg concerts. As Simon Reynolds noted in his book Retromania, this meant that at every gig there would be dozens of Deadheads concentrating not on the band’s supposedly stellar performance, but on their recording equipment. Sure, the video of Biffy Clyro headlining T in the Park taken on a iPhone and then uploaded to YouTube is, 99 times out of 100, going to be utterly unwatchable to all but the most devoted fans. But that is to miss the point. As an aide memoire the recording, however poor, will still remind the person who shot it of the concert itself. And while it may seem impossible that athletes who walked out into Celtic Park for the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony will ever forget that moment, why should they not take a picture to remind themselves and show others of what they saw as they entered the stadium? The bottom line is that whether it is a selfie or a cave drawing, humans have always felt the urge to document where they have been and what they have done. Sometimes a picture is worth far more than a thousand words.

CNN led its coverage with John Barrowman’s gay kiss during the opening ceremony. Paul Gittings said that although it was “only fleeting and came amid a Scottish extravaganza of pop performances, dancing teacakes and a giant replica sea monster”, there was “no mistaking its message”.

And the Games were even mentioned in the St Helena Independent, which serves the tiny Atlantic island. It said its team’s participation would be “closely followed” by all on the island.

The Gleaner’s Andre Lowe told how Jamaican athletes were able to “rub shoulders with The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh” as royalty visited the Athletes Village in Glasgow. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

26 l

REVIEW & Preview

STAGE

Passing Places PITLOCHRY FESTIVAL THEATRE Until October 17 ■ In 1997, River City creator Stephen Greenhorn wrote Passing Places as a ‘road movie for the stage’ and helped give exposure to some of the country’s lesser known byways. Alex and Brian are on the run in a clapped-out Lada, trying to put safe distance between themselves and Alex’s former

The Tin Forest Show SOUTH ROTUNDA, GLASGOW Until August 3 ■ This National Theatre of Scotland contribution to the Commonwealth Games’ cultural strand has been eagerly awaited, and the critics are at one in agreeing that the anticipation has been met by a quality production. Based on the children’s book by Helen Ward, it features an intimate set with room for small groups, and is a feast of the imagination as we hear the story of an old man who built himself a forest out of the junk he found around him. For Mary Brennan in The Herald, “social and political strands are woven through our promenade, but for young and old, this is a revelatory promenade through the transformative alchemy of theatre”. Scotland-based critic Mark Brown wrote in The Daily Telegraph that “it would be a crime worthy of being thrown down the tunnel shafts under the rotunda to reveal the play’s end; suffice it to say that the beautiful conclusion to the tale is realised with a style and vitality typical of the production as a whole”. And down at The Scotsman, Joyce McMillan was similarly impressed. She said: “The Tin Forest remains a memorable experience, in a remarkable building. The last piece in the jigsaw, perhaps, for Glasgow’s long story of post-industrial regeneration.”

Beowulf TRON THEATRE, GLASGOW Until August 2 ■ Beowulf is part of the Tron Theatre’s Home Nations project comprising four theatrical treatments of poetry classics which are being staged as a means of marking differences and links between Wales, Scotland, Ireland and England.

EXHIBITIONS American Impressionism: A New Vision SCOTTISH NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY, EDINBURGH Until October 19 ■ While Impressionism is viewed as a European pursuit in general, and a French one in particular, this National Galleries exhibition aims the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

to show that the influence stretched as far as the USA. Among the artists on show here are John Singer Sargent, Mary Cassatt, Frank Weston Benson (pictured) and John Henry Twachtman whose work is arguably more diverse than his counterparts. This variety might also explain why these painters have not been as widely considered as being

and slightly unhinged boss Binks, who is determined to retrieve an item which he holds dear. Having been unfairly dismissed from his job in a sports shop, Alex did the only thing he could think of and fled with a prized surfboard from the window display. As the angry ex-boss rampages behind them in pursuit, the pair bump into various eccentrics along the way who help grease the wheel on musings about reality and existence: is a map’s purpose to tell you where you are in the moment or where you might be going in the future? That sort of thing. Neil Cooper, in The Herald, stated “the end result is one of the most significant pieces of post-modern populism and end-of-the-century enlightenment to have roared out of our own back yard”. This version of Seamus Heaney’s 1999 take on Beowulf features three actresses and a minimalist set. Helen McAlpine, Lorraine McIntosh and Anita Vettesse tell us the tale of the Danish king Hrothgar, whose realm is in serious peril from dark forces roaming his lands. But could there be salvation at hand from a mysterious hero? Joyce McMillan in The Scotsman was bowled over by the ambition within a seemingly modest production. “If the central idea is simple, though, there’s a huge and powerful subtlety in the detail of this production, from the division of the story among the three voices, to the quietly superb design, sound and lighting that supports the performance,” she said. part of a coherent movement. As the Sunday Herald’s Cate Devine argued: “One notable aspect of this impressive body of work is the absence of the cafes and bars so frequently depicted in French Impressionism. Demonstrating that for many American artists, Impressionism was not a final destination, but a process.”

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REVIEW & Preview FILM

Earth To Echo (PG)

pesky grown-ups to ease the little tyke’s passage back to his Starring: Teo Halm, Astro, own people) will simply revert Reese Hartwig to Spielberg’s tearjerker rather ■ There may well be than put themselves through approximately a dozen an imitation, no matter how filmgoers on the planet who half-decent. And judging by haven’t seen hide nor hair of ET critical reaction, there’s nothing and they seem to be targeted especially wrong with Earth by this playful summer movie. To Echo other than the direct Everyone else who gets a reverberations to the past. sniff of the synopsis (kids hop Alison Rowat of The Herald around on bikes, find a friendly concluded: “It will pass a alien and try to dodge past school holiday afternoon enjoyably enough, though anyone who has come within a million miles of ET will feel they are speeding down memory lane.” And writing for Scotland on Sunday, Siobhan Synnot said: “It’s tempting to relabel Earth To Echo, ET: iPhone Home, because there’s a lot in Dave Green’s children’s film that feels familiar”.

Joe (15) Starring: Nicolas Cage, Tye Sheridan, Gary Poulter ■ Adapted from Larry Brown’s novel, Joe features Nicolas Cage as a man struggling with his own demons while leading a group of men each day into the woods to cut down unhealthy trees. Reviewing for The Herald, Alison Rowat declared Cage’s performance to be a triumphant return to long-lost form. “It is a part which calls for a quiet sort of despair, a restrained desperation, and Cage succeeds triumphantly in delivering all this and more,” she commented. The Big Issue in Scotland’s Edward Lawrenson found time to praise one of Cage’s co-stars. “Gary Poulter, who tragically died soon after the film was completed, is remarkable,” he noted. “Spotted by director David Gordon Green living on the streets after a life-long struggle with addiction, he brings to the film a searing authenticity.” Over at The List, Eddie Harrison chose to pick out director David Gordon Green for some acclaim, stating that “Joe is another entry in his canon of accomplished miserablism”. The only note of caution came from Siobhan Synnot in Scotland on Sunday when she suggested that despite Cage’s tender performance some things were still laid on too thick: “In a film that deploys allegory with all the subtlety of a buzzsaw, a message about toxic environments is hard to miss.”

Average rating 6/10

Hercules (12A) Starring: Dwayne Johnson, John Hurt, Ian McShane ■ The Fast And Furious star Dwayne Johnson recently stated that his Hercules could take on Henry Cavill’s Superman in a punch-up and pretty much ‘knock him into next week’. Quite how those two mythological beings from

Average rating 7/10

Dawson Murray: Eye Can Draw DCA, Dundee Until August 15 ■ This quadriplegic MSsuffering watercolourist has been able to continue his work through a home-made eye-tracking device. Jan Patience in The Herald was impressed: “The end-

different eras would ever rendezvous is not clear, but the overall message is clear: Hercules is one tough cookie. The ‘plot’ centres on big H trying to come to terms with his family’s death while fending off the advances of a dastardly warlord attempting to ram his way into the city of Thrace. Rob Carnevale in The List was perfectly prepared to leave any cynicism outside the auditorium door: “While the knowing humour might grate with those expecting a more brutal showcase, it actually helps to paper over the cracks, which include a lack of any real emotional depth or character complexity. Essentially, Hercules is a fun ride while it lasts.”

Average rating 6/10 product – prints with sublime depth of colour – were not achieved without much trial and error, but they are beautiful all the same.”

Tamsyn Challenger: Monoculture SUMMERHALL, EDINBURGH Until August 31 ■ The internet’s influence

and its ability to devalue our souls while offering us the illusion of individuality is behind Monoculture. Challenger told The List’s David Pollock: “I’d like people to leave this exhibition with a renewed sense of awareness of their online activity, and to maybe make other choices when they’re taking a self-portrait.” 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

28 l THIS WEEK

SCOTS on the box

REVIEW & preview

Worth catching… The satirical side to Glasgow’s great sporting summer is hailed, family trees are being dug up by famous folk, and Stephen Fry hangs out with his favourite stage mentalist

TV: Don’t Drop The Baton BBC One Scotland ❘ July 20/27 ■ In among the welter of uberpositive programmes about the Commonwealth Games, there had to be some satirical comedy kicking about somewhere. And sure enough, it appeared in the form of Don’t Drop The Baton, fronted by two rising stars of the Scottish comedy scene, Susan Calman and Mark Nelson, who gave us a mix of stand-up routines about food banks and sketches imagining an alternative Queen’s opening ceremony speech. Clearly not a fan of sport (“I hate it”), The Sunday Herald’s Julie McDowall was relieved such programmes could have sneaked into the Tunnock’s-loving schedule. “It poked fun at our scramble to prepare for the Games, pointing out that the regeneration money should really be going to Rod Stewart,” she said. “The two comedians were cheeky and bold and clearly felt no deference to this massive, costly enterprise.”

Who Do They Think They Are?: 10 Years, 100 Shows BBC One, Wednesday, 10.35pm ■ Everyone’s favourite genealogy programme is back for a new series this week but, ahead of all that, a documentary reflects on a decade of digging up celebrity family trees. Among the Scottishtinged recollections will be JK Rowling uncovering her French roots while Alistair McGowan will be shown amazed that, despite his name, it turns out his Scottish ancestry is in fact Indian. Referencing this, another subject Ainsley Harriot is tickled by the notion that “I’m more Scottish than Alistair!” The new series itself kicks off for another 10 episodes on Thursday at 9pm with Julie Walters, while later subjects include Brendan O’Carroll, Brian Blessed and Mary Berry. The final show of this season, and the landmark 100th episode in total, follows Billy Connolly on a journey into his past. And while the Big Yin has always considered himself to be the quintessential Scot, he discovers, naturally, that his own ancestry turns out to be a little more exotic than he could ever have dreamed it would be.

RADIO: Fry’s English Delight

Bryan Burnett GET IT ON

Radio 4, Monday August 4, 9am ■ Stephen Fry celebrates the mind-altering and mysterious language of magic with his guest Derren Brown, before venturing into the coven of Davenport’s Magic Shop to meet some young Harry Potters trying out their stage patter. As if that wasn’t enough, Philip Pullman talks about the magical effect of poetry.

RADIO: Graffiti: Kings On A Mission Radio 4 Thursday August 7, 11.30am ■ In 1974, celebrated cultural figure Norman Mailer declared unlawful graffiti as ‘the great art of the 70s’. Who were the teens behind the tags and why? Some of New York’s pioneering graffiti writers explain what they were really up to.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

BBC Scotland’s request show featured songs about travel

Queen

The Jam

Divine Comedy

Bicycle Race

Going Underground

National Express

The Monkees Last Train To Clarksville

Goldfrapp Ride A White Horse

The Beatles Yellow Submarine

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

The Everly Brothers

Locomotion

Walk Right Back

Love Train

The O’Jays

■ Get It On ❘ Weekdays at 6.10pm

Louise White morning call The following questions were asked on BBC Scotland’s weekday Morning Call programme on the Games opening ■ Do you think prisoners ceremony? should be allowed to vote in ■ Are you concerned about the referendum? the increase in complaints ■ How would you feel if about doctors? your daughter wanted to be ■ Should obesity be classified a boxer? ■ What was your verdict as a disability? ■ Morning call ❘ Weekdays at 8.50am

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REVIEW & preview

The best of this week’s books

SCOTTISH BESTSELLERS

A novel about Glaswegians on the edge slips into the Stooshie reading pile, while an intriguing biography of Isaac Newton falls into the publishing schedule

HARD BACK 1. How To Train Your Dragon

RECOMMENDED

by Cressida Cowell

2. Written In My Own Heart’s Blood

The Glasgow Coma Scale by Neil DA Stewart

by Diana Gabaldon

3. Dark Road

■ Taking its title from the neurological scale by which a person’s consciousness is determined after severe trauma, it’s not difficult to spot metaphorical links made to characters as they appear almost to sleepwalk through their lives before a harsh reality bites. With increasing reluctance, Lynne works at a call centre, harbouring a desire to give all her possessions away, particularly to Sauchiehall Street’s homeless. When one of them turns out to be of major significance from her past, things take a surprise turn. Ally Nicholl of The List said: “Aside from the odd bit of clumsy social commentary and an unsatisfying conclusion, this is a confidently written and enjoyable novel.” And Galen O’Hanlon for The Skinny concluded: “It’s an intriguing debut, capturing the psyches of two very different people as they look sidelong at the reasons their lives haven’t gone quite as well as they’d hoped.”

by Ian Rankin and Mark Thomson

4. The Sex Lives Of Siamese Twins by Irvine Welsh

5. An Illustrated Treasury Of Scottish Folk And Fairy Tales by Theresa Breslin and Kate Leiper

6. My Scotland, Our Britain by Gordon Brown

7. Scottish Baking by Sue Lawrence

The Miniaturist

The Newton Papers

AIDS: Don’t Die Of Prejudice

8. The Last Refuge by Craig Robertson

9. Asterix And The Picts by Jean-Yves Ferri, Rene Goscinny, Albert Uderzo and Didier Conrad

10. 50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland by Jessie Burton

■ Set in 17th century Amsterdam, this debut features a teenage bride from the countryside starting a new life with her wealthy merchant trader husband, finding that a world of city comfort isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Shirley Whiteside in The Herald hailed the author: “Burton set herself no easy task when she decided to write this complex novel, full not only of beautiful historical details but of rounded characters that are easy to care for.”

by Sarah Dry

■ Coming across as a complex and compelling figure, Isaac Newton wrote down some 10 million words which have been passed through the centuries. This book tells how those have been variously (mis)represented by those fortunate enough to handle them. Stuart Kelly writing in Scotland on Sunday, stated: “Dry tracks the pages, not the mind of Newton, and finds ample anecdotes along the way to make this bibliographic thriller a delight to read.”

by Norman Fowler

■ Amid reports the epidemic could be ‘controlled’ by 2030, this book from Fowler, a member of the cabinet when AIDS became a major issue in the UK, warns that prejudice remains the biggest block to progress. Peter Tatchell’s review in The Scotsman noted Fowler’s calls for global action including “more funding for prevention programmes, testing, early treatment, needle exchanges and vaccine research. All very good proposals. Are you listening, David Cameron?”.

LOOK OUT FOR... ■ Glasgow’s foremost psychic Gordon Smith publishes his autobiography in September. Best Of Both Worlds features his tough Gorbals upbringing amid a world of gang warfare and physical abuse, but is leavened by humour and the lighter side to a gallery of larger than life characters.

■ From X-Files to bibliophile, David ‘Fox Mulder’ Duchovny confirms that he’ll be releasing his debut novel next February. Holy Cow: A Modern Day Dairy Tale features talking livestock and is being pitched as a fable with a twist in the vein of Animal Farm and Charlotte’s Web.

by Allan Brown

PAPER BACK 1. Scotland’s Referendum by David Torrance and Jamie Maxwell

2. The Critic by Peter May

3. Extraordinary People by Peter May

4. There Was A Wee Lassie Who Swallowed A Midgie by Rebecca Colby and Kate McLelland

5. Flesh Wounds by Chris Brookmyre

6. Bertie’s Guide To Life And Mothers by Alexander McCall Smith

7. Katie In Scotland by James Mayhew

8. How To Train Your Dragon by DreamWorks

9. The Blackhouse by Peter May

10. The Lewis Man by Peter May ■ Lists from Waterstones 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

30 l CHEF’S CORNER

Tom Kitchin Scotland on Sunday

Chef patron, The Kitchin, Edinburgh Heritage or heirloom tomatoes have been a highlight of Tom’s summer, according to his column in Scotland On Sunday. The Michelin-starred chef enjoyed their “vibrant reds, yellows, purples and greens” as well as the fact that “every bite will bring with it a lovely new burst of flavour”. “Seriously sweet, ripe and delicious”, and available in “more than 25 varieties”, they are best served simply in a salad. “Fresh herbs and oils or cheeses” will “let the flavours really shine”. Tom has served heritage tomatoes with Newhaven lobster, olive toast and a tomato consommé, a dish which “tastes like the essence of summer”.

tastiest FOOD & Drink Curtains up on haggis ■ Haggis makers Macsween are helping to put Scotland’s national dish on the stage at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. To help mark its 60th year in business, the family firm has joined forces with playwright Stuart Delves and IDEOMS Theatre Company to create the play Haggis, Haggis, Haggis: the True Story. Delves spent six months as writer/storyteller in residence at Macsween, gathering insights from the whole team. Inspired by the experience, he wrote this play which looks into the myths and reality of the iconic dish. The play will be performed at The Storytelling Centre on Edinburgh High Street from August 5 to 24.

DogTap brew bar opens in Ellon ■ The ever industrious BrewDog have opened the DogTap at their headquarters in Ellon. The on-site taproom will have 10 of the independent brewer’s own beers on tap. The venue will also have a BottleDog outlet where customers can buy BrewDog beers fresh of the bottling line. The new outlet is the company’s 15th UK pub and brings the worldwide BrewDog bar count to 20. The new bar is BrewDog’s seventh bar launch in 2014, following openings in São

Paulo, Tokyo, Sheffield, Gothenburg, Dundee and Florence.

Hendrick’s events in Edinburgh ■ For the second year running, the Hendrick’s Carnival of Knowledge is setting up home in Edinburgh’s One Royal Circus for the weekend. From August 7 to 10, the gin brand is hosting a four day schedule of unusual events and carefully curated entertainments. In addition to a well stocked cocktail bar, attractions on offer include a series of discussions about the murderers Burke and Hare; a day of Guerilla Science looking at both zombies and the power of smell, plus a workshop on How To Create Your Own Comic by Canongate publishers.

New bar and brewery ■ Located on Littlejohn Street, The Bottle Cap Bar and Brewery is a new addition to Aberdeen’s drinking scene. Visitors will be able to watch beer being made in the on-site brewery before trying the finished product at the bar. The bar will also stock a wide variety of beers from other craft brewers. The BrewDog and Six Degrees North breweries also have pubs nearby, leading some commentators to dub the area Aberdeen’s “craft beer village”.

WINE OF THE WEEK EL ESTECO TANNAT MICHEL TORINO (M&S) Drinking to good health Tom Bruce-Gardyne chewed over the debate about red wine and health. The antioxidants found in grape skins are thought to be beneficial in preventing heart attacks. Perhaps red wine should be served on hospital wards, pondered Tom. The critic recommended El Esteco Tannat on the grounds that “the tannat grape is packed with tannins” which can act as antioxidants. Health was not his only consideration. The wine also showed “plenty of fruit to balance any bitterness”. The Herald the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

RECIPE of the week

Cullen Skink From the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar and Restaurant in Cairndow. Ingredients ■ 200g Diced onion ■ 200g Diced potato ■ 75g Diced celery ■ 100g Diced leek ■ 500g Smoked haddock ■ 150ml Milk ■ 150ml Cream ■ 75g Unsalted butter ■ 75g Flour ■ Salt ■ Pepper ■ Parsley Preparation time 45 minutes (serves 6-8) 1. Melt the butter in a thick bottomed pan and then add onion and potato. Allow to cook gently, stirring occasionally. 2. In a separate pan, steam the smoked haddock. Remove from heat and allow to cool. When the fish has cooled, flake it into bite-sized chunks. 3. Add flour to the potato and onion mixture and cook gently until the ingredients have a sandy consistency. 4. Strain excess stock from the smoked haddock into flour mixture and mix thoroughly. Add milk and continue to mix over heat. Check consistency and seasoning. 5. Add diced leek, celery and smoked haddock. Simmer gently for 10 minutes. 6. Finish with a swirl of cream and a sprinkling of chopped parsley. Serve piping hot with chunks of crusty bread.

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THE BEST RESTAURANT REVIEWS Hutchesons 158 Ingram Street, Glasgow G1 1EJ www.hutchesonsglasgow.com ■ The newly opened Hutchesons impressed Tam Cowan in The Scottish Sun and Joanna Blythman in the Sunday Herald. Hutchesons started life as hospital some 200 years ago but Tam reckoned that it would be “one of Glasgow’s top restaurants for at least another 200”, while Joanna found the “original stained glass windows” to be “breathtaking”. Tam also added that the restaurant makes “Downton Abbey look like the betting shop in Trainspotting”. According to the Sunday Herald’s critic, a dressed crab was “pulse-racingly fresh”, while one of Tam’s dining companions enjoyed her prawns – “five big belters” – which were “beautifully presented” and served with a “tangy homemade cocktail sauce”. Joanna enthused about a £32 Iberico pork special, declaring it to be “succulent under its burnished mahogany exterior”. Tam took a more straightforward approach to describing his main courses and wrote that a sirloin and fillet steak were “top drawer”. Score: 8/10 | Sunday Herald Score: 28/30 | The Scottish Sun

Under The Stairs

The Wee Restaurant

Ting Thai Caravan

Crofters Bistro

3a Merchant Street, Edinburgh EH1 2QD www.underthestairs.org

17 Main Street, North Queensferry KY11 1JG www.theweerestaurant.co.uk

8-9 Teviot Place, Edinburgh EH1 2QZ www.facebook.com

11 Marine Terrace, Rosemarkie IV10 8UL www.croftersbistro.co.uk

Along with moderate prices, Richard Bath liked the “endearingly but carefully constructed homespun quality” of Under The Stairs. While the “carefully mismatched furniture” and art pleased the Scotland On Sunday critic, his starter of pea and bacon fritters had “lots of pea and little discernible taste of ham”. Happily, the main courses were “a quantum leap forward”; especially a coley curry which featured “big chunks of perfectly cooked white fish” in a “dark, rich curry”. Richard had mixed, albeit mainly positive feelings about the desserts and would not object to a return visit.

“Small really can be beautiful” was Gary Ralston’s view of The Wee Restaurant. Despite grumbling over the supplements on some of the dishes on the £27 set dinner menu, the Daily Record’s reviewer thought the food “mouthwatering” and offered “some of the best value to come from Fife since Raith Rovers sold Jim Baxter”. In particular, a salad of “delicately fried golden brown” scallops hit the spot as did a dish of sea trout with Puy lentils, spinach and artichoke. The latter had a “crisp crunch” from the vegetables which combined perfectly with the “soft white fish”.

An initial delay in service got up the nose of Ron Mackenna, but The Herald’s critic was swiftly won over by the “stunning” food at this bustling Thai restaurant. “Bish, bosh, fast, flash street food” was how he described a meal that included “dark and sugary” pork chops; “juicy” prawns in a “crisp coconut batter” and “pink beef slices” which were “sweet and sour, hot and tangy”. By the end of his meal, Ron had almost forgotten his service gripes. Why tighten it up when the restaurant is “packing the customers in every night” he mused?

The Press and Journal’s reviewer enjoyed “a pretty perfect meal” in the seaside village of Rosemarkie. In addition to a “masterclass in good service”, the reviewer approved of the level of “smokiness” in her Cullen skink while her companion liked the “rustic” texture of her duck rillettes. Main courses of fish cakes and grilled cod with a saffron and chorizo risotto were judged “delicious” and “full of sea-fresh flavour”. A dressing of edible flowers made for a “good talking point”, while a portion of Blue Murder cheese provided the “perfect ending” to a successful meal.

Score: 7/10 | Scotland on Sunday

Score: 21/30 | Daily Record

Score: 24/30 | The Herald

Score: 4/5 | The Press and Journal 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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PROPERTY

INSIDE OUT – our Pick of the Scottish Market

Glenforsa House and the Green Isles, Isle of Mull Guide Price: £625,000 Savills ❘ www.savills.com n Savills is marketing Glenforsa House on the Isle of Mull, together with the Green Isles, five small islands lying in the Sound of Mull, to the north of the house and the mouth of the River Forsa. Glenforsa House lies roughly midway between the ferry

terminal at Craignure (services from Oban) and Tobermory, the largest settlement on the island. The property itself is a modern house, built in 1997 as the principal residence to Glenforsa Estate. A single storey house designed by Edinburgh architect John Findlay, it is surrounded by established gardens overlooking the River Forsa, with the sea just beyond, and is strategically positioned overlooking the Green Isles.

BIG BUDGET

10 Randolph Crescent, Edinburgh Offers Over: £699,000

7 Brighouse Park Rigg, Edinburgh Fixed Price: £1.275m

Strutt and Parker ❘ www.struttandparker.com

n A magnificent five-bedroom double upper apartment forming part of a converted Georgian townhouse. A wealth of period features have been retained including fireplaces, cornices, sashand-case windows, and an original turned stair. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

n An exceptional five or six-bedroom detached modern home in AMA Homes’ exclusive Caer Amon development in one of the most highly sought after residential areas of Edinburgh. The property benefits from a beautiful view on to the Firth of Forth.

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PROPERTY

4 Old Edinburgh Boarhills

Pagan Osborne

Offers over: £595,000

Offers over: £475,000

A four-bed apartment on the first floor of an ex-granary, benefiting from private parking.

❘ www.paganosborne.com

3 The Granary Elie

This fourbedroom executive detached villa is at the end of a cul-de-sac in a sought after area.

13 Beechgrove Rise Cupar

Spindle Cottage Pittenweem

Pagan Osborne

Offers over: £395,000

This fourbedroom executive detached villa boasts delightful outlooks over a woodland area.

❘ www.paganosborne.com

FANTASTIC FIFE

This B-listed four-bedroom property has been revamped and no expense has been spared.

CLIMBING THE LADDER

3 West Lochside, Kinnordy Fixed Price: £275,000

48a Queen’s Drive, Glasgow Offers Over: £199,995

Thorntons ❘ www.thorntons-property.co.uk

McEwan Fraser Legal ❘ www.mcewanfraserlegal.co.uk

n This attractive dwelling forms part of a small steading development enjoying a wonderful rural location a few miles from Kirriemuir. The property affords well-proportioned and welllaid out accommodation over two levels on a sizeable plot.

n A four or five-bedroom (main door) garden flat, situated within a substantial and distinctive B-listed sandstone building in Queen’s Drive, one of the Southside’s most desirable addresses. The property offers versatile accommodation all on one level. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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the best travel writing

EUROPE FROM SCOTLAND

Thomas W Hodgkinson

Black Forest getaway, Germany

■ Although seemingly taken aback to discover a Teutonic sense of humour, Thomas W Hodgkinson found much to admire in the Black Forest. Writing in the Scottish Daily Mail, the journalist was in Baden-Baden when Germany won the World Cup and he struck up a warm rapport with celebrating fans. As well as “wedding-cake houses” and two spas, one of which is “mixed sex nudist”, BadenBaden is a town where “courtesy is the keynote”. Driving deeper into the forest, Thomas was pleased to find Baiersbronn, a village with two triple Michelin star restaurants, the same number as London.

Scottish Daily Mail

He was happy to dine in the more modest surrounds of the Forsthaus Auerhahn, tucking into “succulent medallions of venison” and tiny mushrooms known as “pfifferlinge”. The “hilly wooded region” of the actual Black Forest was a highlight. “Massed conifers and white-barked birches”, “small, round lakes” and wine fountains next to forest trails led Thomas to write that “the scenery is special, a haven for hikers and cyclists”. Despite shoehorning in a mention of World War II, he was enraptured by the warm welcome shown by the “menschen”, or people he met. Notably, he did not once hear another English voice – certainly “something to wave a flag about”.

TRAVEL SCOTLAND

TRAVEL BRITAIN

TRAVEL THE WORLD

St Kilda

Imperial War Museum, London

Georgia

Sean Guthrie ❘ The Herald

John Ingham ❘ Scottish Daily Express

Graham Field ❘ Scotland on Sunday

■ Rough seas did not stop Sean Guthrie feeling “paroxysms of awe” when visiting Boreray and Hirta, part of the St Kilda archipelago. Wildlife such as fulmar, puffins and even dive-bombing “bonxies” or great skuas, caught the eye. Underlying the natural beauty of mountains such as Conachair, Sean could not help but feel that the “air is pregnant with a sense of immensity and isolation”. Indeed, at times, the “emptiness threatens to swallow you”.

■ John Ingham was moved by the recently opened First World War Galleries at the Imperial War Museum. “Stunning battle footage”; a “Mark V tank looming” over a trench parapet and bullet-riddled trench signposts all brought home the horror of the conflict. The heart-warming story of Private Thomas Mann, a disfigured serviceman who eventually found contentment in family life, was “proof positive of the resilience of mankind”.

■ On a motorbike trip through Georgia, Graham Field discovered Ushguli, “Europe’s highest inhabited village”. Welcomed by a “motherly landlady”, he explored the village where every house has its own stone “sanctuary from village blood feuds”. With “no common language, no currency and no idea what the immigration procedure is”, Graham flew by the seat of his pants but knew this is “what I should be doing with my life”.

TRAVEL NEWS Go wild in the country

Taking place from August 29 to September 14, the Wild North Festival 2014 aims to encourage visitors to the North Highlands. The Festival takes place over three weekends with a different theme assigned to each weekend.

The first weekend (August 29-31) takes place in the Dunnet and Castletown area of Caithness. Aimed at all ages, it includes classes in survival skills and whale watching. The Maritime Madness schedule (September 5-7) features surfing lessons, Viking storytelling and a seashore safari. The festival

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

comes to a climax with the East Coast Adventure weekend (September 12-14) on the East Sutherland coast. Several geocache events, fossil hunting and gold panning are all planned.

Magaluf no more Recent controversy surrounding organised bar crawls in Magaluf has

prompted Broadway Travel to suggest less hedonistic resorts. The recommendations are aimed at the parents of school-leavers about to take their first vacation with friends. The travel company advises young holidaymakers to skip Sin City or Las Vegas, and head to Bodrum in Turkey instead.

THE BEST OF the great outdoors the garden experts Nothing sweeter that homegrown sweetcorn

Secretive garden visitors ■ Rarely seen but relatively common in many parts of Scotland, The Courier’s John Stoa was delighted to encounter a slow worm under a dumped piece of corrugated iron. However, he said the creatures are misleadingly named: they are limbless lizards rather than worms and, when startled, do not move slowly at all.

■ Maize may have been one of the first crops ever cultivated by mankind but the Sunday Mail’s Carol Klein said sweetcorn was only developed in the 19th century. And she said it is still improving as “recent advances in breeding mean it tastes even better now – sweeter kernels and varieties with sugar content that stay high for longer”. She said it is best to plant sweetcorn in May or June but that planting now will still result in a “small harvest”. Klein added: “It’s as fresh as could be and tastes better than anything you can buy from the shop”.

Turning wild gardens into mellow meadows ■ There are plenty ways to turn an overgrown garden into a meadow, even if it is in shade, The Herald’s Dave Allan said. He said that while trees may make a garden “too shady for traditional meadow mixes” there are plenty of woodland species that will help create a similar effect. Allan said it is best to plant the meadow mix in August, once the ground has been cleared.

OOT AND ABOOT! Beyond endurance ■ For most people, completing a single marathon would be a challenge. But Alice Morrison decided that wasn’t enough. Instead, as she wrote in The Scotsman, she signed up for the Marathon des Sables, a six-day event in Morocco that sees competitors complete a marathon every day, while under the Saharan sun. Little wonder then that the race was tough,

although she said runners quickly bonded. “There is no privacy or personal space. You sleep together, cook your morning porridge together and syringe the blood and fluid out of each other’s blisters,” she said. But she said the agony was “eclipsed by the sheer joy of the endeavour and the stunning, barren beauty of the landscape”. It may be painful, she said, but the “experience is worth the price”.

Annan not so athletic ■ The initial sections of the Annandale Way provide an easy, low-level walk along “a delightful riverside path,” said The Herald’s Roger Smith. He said the “longestablished Royal Burgh is worth exploring” and that more ambitious walkers can try an additional loop through Newbie to the Solway Firth that will take them to opposite the western end of Hadrian’s Wall.

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NATURE’S BEST ■ A Whitby angler caught the largest ever fish off the UK coastline while on holiday on the Isle of Skye. Daniel Bennett (26), who works in a fishing supplies shop, caught the 208lbs skate while shore fishing from Kilmalaugh Bay. It took him two hours to reel the monstrous fish in. Once brought ashore, the skate measured 88.25 inches long (2.24 metres) and 66.75 inches (1.7m) wide. The largest fish caught on British shores before was another skate reeled in on the Isle of Lewis. That was a relative tiddler of 159lbs. However, Mr Bennett’s big catch will not be officially recognised. As the skate is a rare protected species, the fish, which looks like a stringray, was returned to the water. For those struggling to grasp just how big the skate was, The Scotsman handily pointed out that it weighed more than the average heavyweight boxer (200lbs), a Vespa moped (197lbs) and a female Eastern Lowland gorilla (200lbs). Mr Bennett (below) said: “We knew we had to put it back, quite rightly. Who knows how big it will grow?”

Weather Warmest – Kinlochewe 29.4C (84.9F)

Wettest –

Tiree 0.74ins

Coldest – Cairngorm mountains 5C (41F)

Sunniest –

Leuchars 15.3hrs

Weather round-up:

The eyes of the world have been on Scotland over the past fortnight or so, and luckily the weather played ball – so to speak. Indeed, any wet weather did not dampen the spirits of the visitors who have made their way to Glasgow from across the globe. Temperatures have also been high and The Daily Record pointed out how fans watching the lawn bowls at Kelvingrove were given an official “Taps Aff” warning about the dangers of too much sun. “Maybe it was the glare off all our gold medals,” the paper joked. The Courier did, however, report that a weekend deluge took its toll on a Perthshire store, with damage to a roof forcing the temporary closure of the Scotmid shop in Coupar Angus. The same paper also revealed that parts of England had experienced hail and thunderstorms which were described in a tweet by Brighton train station as a “zombie apocalypse”, although it said there was “no freak weather” in Scotland’s forecast for the week ahead. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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CONSUMER

Three of the best... beach buddy gadgets

TRIED AND TESTED

The summer holidays are upon us so to make sure your trek to the beach is a happy one, why not invest in these essential beach-friendly gadgets?

Summe

bea PRODUuty CTS Mandara Spa’s Bali Santi Glistening Body Oil £6.00 www.timetospa.co.uk

HandTrux £17.49

Braven BRV-1 £129.99

Mobicool Electric Cool Box £139.99

Most buckets and spades will last for only one, maybe two, sand constructions. This sturdy bit of kit will keep you in castle-building for years, with a special arm making light work of the overlooked but very tiring chore of digging. Be it a moat, a sculpture or a simple hole, you (and the kids, of course) will have never been prouder of your day’s work.

Not only delivering a decent, crisp sound for its size, this will also power itself for up to 12 hours, perfect for those long summer days. Many Bluetooth speakers will also claim the same, but the main selling point here is that they’re also happy to resist a bit of water, a bit of rough and tumble, and a lot of sand. The best beach side music system we’ve found.

Yes, the price is at the luxury end of the cooler box scene, but so what? In return, you get a solid, roomy, snazzy aluminium box able to hold up to 40 litres - and able to take you and the family nicely refreshed through the whole of the summer. It can accommodate standing two litre bottles and has sturdy metal fold down handles, making it easy to cart around.

www.amazon.co.uk

www.braven.eu

www.mgdonline.co.uk

Accentuate tans with a subtle hint of gold shimmer. The combination of coconut and almond oils will leave skin glistening and nourished.

Bamboo Beach Sunshine Protect And Shine Spray £16.80 www.lookfantastic.com Alterna’s weightless hair spray is formulated with UV filters to help protect against colour fade and add instant shine.

Nars’ Summer 2014 Colour Collection £14.50 www.narscosmetics.co.uk The collection includes Tropical Princess Duo Eyeshadow, Priscilla Shocking Pink Lipgloss and Libertango Nail Polish.

DRIVE TIME

Fiat 500 Trekking Price from £19,590

Volkswagen Golf R DSG Price from £31,315

Jack McKeown ❘ The Courier

Matt Joy ❘ The Scotsman

The 500 Trekking is an “enlarged, jacked up ‘soft-road’ version” of Fiat’s delightful little city car and follows in the footsteps of the Mini Countryman. Increased ride height, extra protection for the body, mud and snow tyres, and Traction + enable it to cope with fields, rutted tracks, and snow better than an ordinary hatchback. Economy is excellent too, although looks-wise the Trekking doesn’t “carry over the cutesy nature of the 500”. It “isn’t for people who need a proper off roader”, but it provides enough for people living in the country that will “see them through the winter, look fashionable in the city, and cost less to run than a proper 4x4”.

The R sticks to Volkswagen’s now established recipe and looks “smart and sporty without being garish”. It has extra performance over the GTI model and the reputation of previous hot Golfs makes it a “very desirable car” indeed. Several modes enable drivers to tailor the car to suit their needs, and the Golf R is “a beast transformed” when in the aggressive Race mode – “few cars can cover the ground with such ease and pace”. This isn’t just a Golf, it is a “five-seater family-sized car that can crack 150mph and out-accelerate far more expensive cars”. It’s an “impressively complete car”.

BMW i8

Price from £94,845 Stephen Park ❘ The Herald BMW has been missing a presence in the sports car market for a while – until now, that is. On the eyes, on paper and on the road, the innovative i8 is like “something from a sci-fi film”, and is “arguably the most technologically advanced car to be launched in recent times”. It “combines the sort of published eco credentials that would qualify for honorary membership of Greenpeace with supercar pace”, and could “shape the future of sports car technology in the way the Model T shaped mass production”. Indeed, “nothing, and I really mean nothing, has turned as many heads as the i8”. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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BUSINESS & FINANCE Hired, Fired & RETIRED

‘Bumps in the road’ warning despite RBS profits jump Shares in the taxpayer-owned bank leapt 12% after it released better-than-expected interim results early last week – but the good PR surely can’t last with more tribulations on the way ■ You’d be forgiven for thinking all was well at the nation’s favourite banking soap opera after a surge in stock prices and near doubling of half-year profits. But the £2.65bn pre-tax return was significantly helped by a fall in the value of now-regular mark downs for bad loans and the sale of RBS’ remaining stake in insurer Direct Line. Boss Ross McEwan was clear that “no one should get ahead of themselves” despite the apparent success of his efforts to create what he calls a “fundamentally stronger bank”. The share price remains well south of the UK Government’s 502p breakeven level, there were further increases to provisions for mis-selling and other “legacy issues”, and the group is still mired in regulatory strife in the US.

Corporate insolvencies increased by a total of

35.9%

during the second quarter of 2014, according to new figures from advisory firm BDO

COMMENTATORS SAY The Scotsman said RBS was out of the “red ink bath” and argued that the return to profitability was enough allow “realistic speculation” over the sale of the stake owned by the taxpayer. With “bumps in the road” ahead, it reckons that could yet be four years away. The Herald was cautious, and argued “it would not be wise to assume good times are here again”. It has concerns over cost cutting and how that will impact on customer service. But The Times’ Philip Aldrick was cheering a bank “cranking out the profits again”. He said the improving economy was making banks “more likely to start taking risks to support economic growth again”. Forecasts are just that, Restructuring expert Bryan Jackson – a man well known for his efforts at football clubs including Motherwell, Dundee, Dunfermline and Hearts – said it was likely many small firms would have been amongst the 250 casualties during the three months to the end of June. He told The Herald that it remains to be seen how businesses will cope with the mooted rise in interest rates.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Aldrick argued, but RBS’ results are real: “More households and companies are paying their debts... That is hard proof the economy has turned a corner.” The Scottish Daily Mail’s Alex Brummer was looking further ahead, though, and, while worried about the continued potential for a big hit from US regulators, insisted that “the case for re-establishing a genuine market in RBS shares without the huge government overhang is overwhelming”. Public faith, he said, will be restored when the public can see there will be a full recovery – so HM Treasury should sell some of its shares to show what can be done, even if that’s at a loss. In The Financial Times, Lex noted how quickly things change, given the misery surrounding RBS when it booked a multi-billion pound impairment in the spring. The column reminded readers the bank was shrinking and would continue to shrink, and said it would take good news about good loans to bring about “a more sustained recovery”.

■ Matt Smith, chief financial officer of baby and children’s accessories chain Mothercare, is to step down from the firm. The company, which recently replaced former boss Simon Calver with Mark Newton-Jones, said Smith would remain in place for the next 12 months. ■ Iain Conn (below) is to take on the top job at Centrica after leaving his post as head of refining at BP. He will be replaced by chief operating officer Tufan Erginbilgic, BP said. ■ Former RBS head of commercial banking Derek Weir has joined the board of troubled Co-operative Bank as a non-executive director. ■ Premier Oil has unveiled former Ophir Energy exec Richard Rose as its new finance director. ■ Tesco must wait four months before its new finance boss can join the board. Alan Stewart, of Marks & Spencer, will take up his seat in December.

BUSINESS & finance WEEK IN NUMBERS

0.8%

The rise in UK GDP during the second quarter – an increase which finally took the economy back above its 2008 level. The Scotsman’s George Kerevan said wage inflation would now be crucial, with a climb likely panicking markets and prompting interest rate rises and stasis stunting consumer demand.

323,000

The number of industrial and commercial electricity and gas meters owned and operated by Livingston-based Energy Assets. The company celebrated a major contract win with British Gas and an “excellent” quarter of trading growth, The Courier reported.

22%

Growth in revenues at Edinburgh housebuilder Cala Homes last year. The company announced sales of £293m and said it was now on course to exceed expectations by trebling in size inside two years, amid an improving market and after buying a top-end rival in England.

Pension tensions The advice is right? ■ Everyone is in a bit of a guddle about their pensions this week, as folk prepare for new rules on how they could use their retirement savings come next April. Jeff Salway’s Smart Money column in The Scotsman bemoaned a “rowing back” on promises of free face-to-face advice from George Osborne,

The value of top-level fraud in Scotland more than tripled during the first half of 2014, according to a study by KPMG. Embezzlement and mortgage swindles were the major contributors to the total of

£6.3m from eight cases dealt with by Scottish courts.

■ Edinburgh-registered banking giant Lloyds has been fined £218m by regulators in the UK and US and rapped by the governor of the Bank of England after admitting rigging interest rate benchmarks. Mark Carney said the actions of some staff were “clearly unlawful and may amount to criminal conduct” after a probe uncovered evidence employees had sought to minimise the fees paid to the central bank under the terms of its publicly-funded bailout. BBC economics editor Robert Peston said the disclosure Lloyds “ripped off” the BoE on the scheme which stopped it going bust was “jaw-dropping”. Scotsman city editor Martin Flanagan said Lloyds was now weighing up the potential for bonus clawbacks from top staff. Reports also suggested the lender was poised to set aside a further £500m for PPI claims.

COMMENTATORS SAY

The number of customers who buy energy from ScottishPower. The group, owned by Spanish giant Iberdrola, reported first-half earnings of £192m thanks to improved margins.

3,000

£3.3m

The new Ofgem fine for Perthbased SSE following power cuts during last winter’s storms.

instead leaving punters with generic and untailored information delivered either online or by phone. The Herald reported similar concerns from pension expert Ros Altmann, who wants a “different approach”. Others have warned it could be five years before a foolproof guidance system is in place.

“Truly shocking conduct” rattles Lloyds

5.6m

The number of North Sea oil and gas workers employed – directly or through contractors – by joint venture Talisman-Sinopec. Calgary-based Talisman owns 51% of the partnership and told The Press and Journal is was in talks with Spain’s Repsol over “various transactions”.

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Legg Mason favour Currie ■ Venerable Edinburgh fund manager Martin Currie has been snapped up by US giant Legg Mason. The deal, for an undisclosed sum, will see the 130-year-old institution become part of a New York-listed group with assets under management running to £415bn. Legg Mason said the privatelyheld capital firm’s international equity business filled its “largest product gap” for investors.

In The Scotsman, business editor Terry Murden said the deal could bring an end to the Martin Currie rollercoaster ride. He outlined “five years of turbulence”, after the Saltire Court-based firm was caught in conflict of interest issues in China. It saw steep fines from regulators over the misuse of clients’ cash, and posted losses of £9.3m in 2012. Murden said the acquisition could be regarded “as a blow or a bonus, depending on your point of view”, but concluded that the buy-out looked “a little like a rescue”. But Scotland’s fund industry could regard the sale as an “important vote of confidence” ahead of the independence referendum, according to Madison Marriage in The Financial Times.

talking heads “While the tyre, exhaust and suspension centres will be rubbing their hands, everyone else who runs vehicles across the private and public sectors will be paying the price.” Andy Willox (above), policy convener for the Federation of Small Businesses, told The Herald how Scotland’s pothole-ridden roads could be costing the country’s economy a packet.

“We need action now to stem the plane drain from regional airports.” Boss of Highlands and Islands Airports Inglis Lyon wants more subsidy support to help guarantee the future of air links from more remote parts of Scotland – and believes links to European hubs could provide an answer.

“They owe me a beer.” RBS chief Ross McEwan tells The Scotsman officials at UK Financial Investments – holders of the taxpayer’s 80% stake in the bailed-out bank – should thank him after last week’s betterthan-expected results.

“We must replicate the sprint success of Wells over longer distances, taking our lead from Scotland’s Liz McColgan.” Bank of England governor Mark Carney tells the Commonwealth Games Business Conference that economic recovery is both marathon and sprint. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT Fans pack Ibrox for Sevens spectacular

Teenage swim sensation Erraid strikes bronze to become face of the Games ■ A 13-year-old schoolgirl from Shetland became the star of the Games after clinching a bronze medal in the para sport 100m breaststroke final. Erraid Davies captured the hearts of TV audiences all over the world when she became Scotland’s youngest ever Games medal winner. Roared on by the crowd Erraid, who was born in Dundee, fought her way into the medal positions to finish third behind gold medal winner Sophie Pascoe of New Zealand. The Herald reported that Erraid was born with half a hipbone in her left hip and was in a wheelchair from the age of four until she was eight. The youngster, who is a member of Delting Dolphins swimming club, trains in Shetland’s only 25-metre pool. But Erraid admitted she had not told her classmates that she had been selected for the

Games, and the first they knew of her involvement was when she was selected to bear the Queen’s baton when it passed through Shetland earlier this month. The TV viewing public were captivated by Erraid’s beaming smile when she took bronze and hundreds tweeted their congratulations. Her friend Asli Tekcan in Shetland tweeted: “I am so pround of you Erraid!! I am so proud to call you my best friend. I can’t believe you got a bronze medal.” Judy Murray said: “Well done wee Erraid Davies. Just 13 and from the Shetland Islands. Bronze medal 100m Para breaststroke. How big was her smile? Adorable.” First Minister Alex Salmond tweeted: “Congrats to Scotland’s youngest-ever Commonwealth Games competitor Erraid Davies winning a brilliant bronze.”

■ The Glasgow public took the Rugby Sevens tournament to their hearts, with a remarkable 171,000 fans packing Ibrox Stadium for four sessions of rugby. South Africa sprung a shock by beating favourites New Zealand 17-12 to claim gold and hand the Kiwis their first ever defeat in the Commonwealth Games. The Scotland side suffered a disappointing tournament, despite the backing of a vociferous home crowd and drafting in big name 15a- side internationals like Stuart Hogg and Sean Lamont. In the group stages they narrowly lost to New Zealand, then easily beat Barbados before clinching a quarter-final spot by comfortably beating Canada. However, they were walloped 35-12 by South Africa in the last eight before slumping to an agonising 15-12 defeat by Auld Enemy England in the Plate competition.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ He might be one of Scottish sport’s most famous faces, but that didn’t stop a security guard from preventing Sir Chris Hoy from entering the cycling stadium that is named after him. The Scottish Sun reported that the female security official demanded to see the sixtime Olympic gold winning cyclist’s ID as he tried to enter the Sir Chris Hoy Velodrome to watch the first day of Commonwealth Games action. And after she realised what she had done,

the flustered official said to Chris: “My mum’s going to kill me”, before asking reporters to pass on her apologies to the cycling legend. Sir Chris had been trying to enter a VIP area when the incident happened. He was finally allowed to take his seat after showing his credentials and later laughed off the incident, saying that the official was right to stop him because his ID had been flipped the wrong way round. “Poor girl. She was just doing her job,” he told BBC presenter Jonathan Edwards.

OTHER NEWS Panic when Sarah’s gold medal went missing One of Scotland’s triumphant judo team had to put her celebrations on hold after losing her gold medal. The Daily Record reported that Sarah Adlington, who won gold in the women’s +78kg final, realised that her medal was missing after she returned to the Athletes’ Village. She was relieved when it was found stuck in the X-ray machine at the village’s security entrance.

Silver joy for Christie after Delhi disappointment Drew Christie from Auchterhouse had more reason than most to be happy with his silver medal at the skeet shooting at Barry Buddon. The 34-year-old was edged out of the medals by one target four years ago in Delhi and was determined to make amends this time round.

Crowds delighted by marathon runner Steve The crowds lining the streets of Glasgow took English marathon runner Steve Way to their hearts. Seven years ago, Way drank too much, smoked 20 cigarettes a day and weighed 16-and-ahalf stones because he gorged on fast food. The 40-year-old took up running to improve his fitness and finished 10th in Glasgow in a personal best time of 2:15:16 before delighting the crowd by saying he was gasping for a pint.

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SPORT Bullying drove Chris to gold medal glory

Scotland’s golden generation Team sets new record at Glasgow Games

sisters Kimberley and Louise Renicks and swimmers Hannah Miley and Ross Murdoch. Murdoch’s victory in the 200m breaststroke was the early shock of the Games, with hot home favourite Michael Jamieson being pushed into the silver medal position. Inverurie’s Hannah Miley wept tears of joy after her triumph in the 400m medley that she also won in Delhi, and her dad Partick, who coaches her in the local swimming pool, also cried buckets as he watched. And there was more joy in the pool when

Dan Wallace won the 200m individual medley. Scotland’s judo players were the main source of golds with flag bearer Euan Burton, Sarah Clark, Sarah Adlington and Chris Sherrington following the Renicks sisters at the top of the podium. And there was also success at the Sir Chris Hoy Velodrome as Neil Fachie and Craig MacLean won double gold in the 1000m tandem time trial and the sprint B tandem. Team Scotland also smashed the record total medal haul of 33, set in Edinburgh in 1986.

“MacLean admitted that ■ Writing in The Scottish Daily they are regularly left gasping Mail, John Greechan said for air after just one of the that the athletes who have four laps they cover in that struck gold are a truly special kilo time trial: if you saw their breed, and the determination, training sessions, regularly dedication and sheer guts ending in a sort of whimpering required to win at this level in the foetal position, you’d is something most of us can begin to appreciate how little hardly comprehend. we can comprehend it all.” “It was perhaps summed up The Herald’s Doug Gillon by Hannah Miley’s admission pointed out that despite the that, for the final length of her fantastic success of the judo 400 metres individual medley triumph, she could not feel her team, who won a total of 13 medals, the future of the sport legs. “A bit of a drag, literally, for a is far from rosy with doubts over funding levels from swimmer. And a telling insight SportScotland. into the torture of those we “Judo is not on the 2018 call winners, champions, programme and the current heroes or true greats.” team will be well past its sellCyclists Craig MacLean and by date by 2022, when there Neil Fachie also showed the is no guarantee it will return.” supreme effort and sacrifice required to strike gold. The Scottish Sun’s Bill the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Leckie said that the medalladen first day of action more than lived up to the feel good factor brought on by the spectacular opening ceremony at Celtic Park. “Blazing heat, massive crowds, a buzz from Kelvingrove to Tollcross to Strathclyde Park and back that could have powered the city for a fortnight.” For Leckie, there was a succession of emotion packed moments, culminating in “the change in expression from confusion to shock to utter joy as it dawned on Ross Murdoch that he’d beaten Michael Jamieson. “His chin wobbling as he tried to stay strong as the pipes skirled and the crowd sang. He failed. We all did.”

■ Scotland experienced its very own gold rush in Glasgow as the team won a record number of gold medals at the Commonwealth Games. When bowlers Alex Marshall and Paul Foster trounced Malaysia 20-3 in the final of the men’s pairs, it meant Scotland had won 12 golds, one more than they achieved in Melbourne in 2006. Later in the day, the total reached 13 when Libby Clegg won the para 100m T12 at Hampden Park. The record haul started on the very first day when four golds were won, by judo star

COMMENTATORS SAY

■ Judo gold medal winner Chris Sherrington said that being bullied at school drove him on to success. The 6ft 5 in former Royal Marine, who won gold in the heavyweight category, told the Daily Record that “growing up was tough for a lanky guy like me.” He added: “My arms and legs were long and a bit skinny and my body parts just didn’t hang that well together. I got called all sorts of names including Bigfoot, and it was a struggle. A day came when I decided I wasn’t going to take it any more and I got into a lot of scraps. “I really found myself when I joined the Marines.”

Quick FIRE

■ Cyclist Craig MacLean has been bewildered by the media attention on his backside. “I think it needs its own Twitter account,” he tweeted. The Herald

■ Commonwealth Games chief Prince Imran from Malaysia was happy to be ferried round the Glasgow venues in a far from princely Ford C-Max. Scottish Daily Mail

■ Hurdler Eilidh Child is so laid back she can even sleep through loud snoring. She had fears about sharing a room at the Athletes’ Village, saying: “I can sleep through anything.” The Scottish Sun

SPORT

good week

l 43 QUOTES

Jodie Stimpson

“...a bit s**t. The Olympics were better.”

The English triathlete picked up the first gold medal of the Glasgow Games by romping to victory in Strathclyde Park. Canada’s Kirsten Sweetland took silver with England’s Vicky Holland taking bronze.

USAIN BoLT The Times quoted the Olympic champ’s less than complimentary view of the Games

Jenn McIntosh

The 23-year old became the most decorated female Scottish athete of all time, taking her medal haul to five by winning bronze in the 50-metre smallbore prone and silver in the 50m rifle three positions. The previous record was held by her mum, Shirley.

■ The crowds came out to watch the men’s and women’s marathons. Aussie Michael Shelley and Kenya’s Fiomana Daniel triumphed.

Adam Gemili

The former Chelsea youth footballer won his first major championship medal when he took silver behind Kemar Bailey-Cole of Jamaica in the men’s 100 metre final.

BAD week

Mo Farah

The double Olympic gold medallist was forced to pull out of the Games after failing to recover from illness. Farah won the 5,000m and 10,000m in London 2012 and was set to run both distances in Glasgow. But he decided to stay at his training camp to be fit for August’s European Championships in Zurich.

Libby’s Hampden roar ■ Libby Clegg became the first Scottish athlete to take the acclaim of the Hampden crowd when she won gold in the para 100m T12 category. The visually impaired sprinter, partnered by guide runner Mikael Huggins, became Scotland’s first track and field champion at the Games since Yvonne Murray 20 years ago. Hugh MacDonald in The Herald said that there may

be more success ahead for Clegg, who suffers from Stargart’s Macular Dystrophy disease and is registered blind. “Huggins believed that the race was won after 60 metres, so it is reasonable to suppose there is more to come from the pair, who now prepare for the European championships,” he wrote. The fantastic reception Clegg received from the Hampden crowd highlighted the success of the decision to fully integrate Para-Sport into the Games, the first time this has been done in a major multi-sport event. The crowds have taken the athletes to their hearts, and the Daily Record reported that 80% of Scots are proud that there are a record number of para events in the programme.

Michael Jamieson The silver medallist was not a happy man

“I could buy the building and make sure it’s preserved forever more.” Colin Gregor Scots Rugby Sevens star on a 50-foot high gable-end mural of him in Partick painted to promote the Games

“Stick a whopping great statue outside because it doesn’t hit you that it’s his velodrome.”

Lomalito Moala The Tongan boxer who showed off a Celtic top at the opening ceremony was forced out of the Games after failing to make his weight. He apologised to all his family, friends and supporters.

“I don’t prepare for second place.”

■ Bowler Alex Marshall shows his delight after a last-gasp semi final win over England. He went on the clinch gold with partner Paul Foster.

Sir Bradley Wiggins Cycling legend is not impressed by Sir Chris Hoy Velodrome 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT Tears for Tommy as mum passes away

Dons and Saints carry the flag ■ It was a case of ‘two out of three ain’t bad’ for Scottish teams in the Europa League qualifying as Aberdeen and St Johnstone pulled off great wins while Motherwell crashed out. After a goalless draw in the first leg at home Aberdeen pulled off a stunning 2-1 win away to Dutch side FC Groningen, with Adam Rooney and Niall McGinn giving them a two-goal cushion. However, they conceded a goal just before half time and mounted a magnificent second half rearguard action to ensure

they progressed to the third qualifying round, where their reward is a tough tie against Spanish side Real Sociedad. However, Dons boss Derek McInnes believes they have a real chance to progress to the group stages over two legs. “Real Sociedad should not under-estimate us,” he told The Scottish Sun. St Johnstone manager Tommy Wright described the club’s European success as “fairytale stuff” after a dramatic penalty shoot-out victory over Swiss side FC Luzern. Goalkeper Alan Mannus was

the hero at McDiarmid Park as shoot-out save after two 1-1 draws and extra time put the club though to face Slovakian team Spartak Trvana. However, Motherwell narrowly failed to make it a Scottish treble, going down 3-2 in extra time to Iceland’s UMF Stjarnan. In the Champions League, Celtic will be aiming to win through to a play-off to reach the Champions League group stages when they play the second leg of their qualifier against Legia Warsaw at Hampden on Wednesday.

COMMENTATORS SAY panic mode and could have ■ Overcoming the might of conceded on numerous Real Sociedad in the next occasions right off the bat.” round may be a “bridge too However, they “just about far” for Abedeen, wrote The clung on to the ropes” thanks Press and Journal’s Chris to a heroic rearguard action Crighton, who said that the and will now line up against Dons made unnecessarily the Spanish giants in the next heavy weather of beating round. Groningen. Despite his pessimism about Aberdeen took advantage of the Dons’ chances, Crighton “supremely inattentive work” believes the occasion “will by the home side to ease provide not only another into a two-goal lead before famous Pittodrie night but the carelessly losing a goal just best pre-season any team before half-time and allowing could wish”. some of their demons from The Evening Express last season to come back to reported that Dons winger haunt them. Jonny Hayes thanked “It followed a familiar Groningen’s loud-mouthed script from last season. Cool, composed and in players for firing them up. total command of the game Serbian winger Filip Kostic before the interval, Aberdeen was among those who for some reason came out boasted they would progress after the break in full-on after drawing in the first leg. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Hayes said: “We thought it was disrespectful. “We didn’t need extra motivation but I was quite happy ramming their words down their throats.” The Courier’s Ian Roache said that St Johnstone’s full-back Tam Scobbie was the hero of their victory over Luzern, with the last converted kick sending them through. And he said that after last year’s European heroics, when Saints beat Norwegian giants Rosenborg before falling narrowly to Minsk, boss Tommy Wright is confident they will progress. “We have the opportunity to progress now and although I have not seen the Slovakian team yet, I doubt they will be better than Luzern.”

■ St Johnstone boss Tommy Wright was hit by personal tragedy before his side’s clash with Spartak Trvana. His mother May passed away in Northern Ireland, and Wright had to rush home when he heard about her worsening condition. Wright insisted that he would be back in to take charge for the big game, and preparations were left in the hands of his assistant Callum Davidson. “Callum knows exactly what we had planned in for the build-up to the game,” he told the Daily Record.

Rangers pledge not to cash in on Ibrox ■ The Rangers board again insisted that they would not sell Ibrox. However, The Scotsman reported that the press release posted on the club’s website did not mention plans for the Murray Park training base. The statement came eight days after 1,000 Rangers fans marched to the stadium to demand that the board act to protect the stadium. The club, which announced losses of £70 million in the first 18 months after it was reformed following liquidation, has admitted fresh income is required to meet running costs.

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Philip Nash

“We were the better team. It leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth.”

The former top executive at Arsenal and Liverpool joined the board of Rangers. At Arsenal, he was in charge of the financial strategy for the club’s move from Highbury to the Emirates stadium. He has been acting as a consultant to Rangers since January.

Rasmus Lindgren Groningen star in denial over Aberdeen’s victory

Gary Anderson The Scot battled his way to the semi-finals of the BetVictor World Matchplay darts in Blackpool. He went out to England’s Phil Taylor who went on to win an incredible 15th title by beating Michael van Gerwen in the final.

■ Dundee United full back Andrew Robertson sealed a £2.85 million move to Hull City. The Tannadice club had rejected a series of bids for the Scotland star before Hull boss Steve Bruce finally got his man.

HEADLINES

Barry Ferguson The former Rangers and Scotland captain started life as manager of Second Division Clyde with a fine 2-0 win over First Division Ayr United in the Petrofac Training Cup.

Murray backs Mauresmo

BAD week Tony Watt

The Celtic striker, who spent more of last season on loan in Belgium after failing to impress ex-boss Neil Lennon, insisted that he was staying at the club, but hours later he was on his way to Belgian side Standard Liege for £1.2 million.

l 45

■ Andy Murray decided to extend his relationship with new coach Amelie Mauresmo. The Frenchwoman had been hired for the duration of the grass court season, which culminated in Murray crashing out of Wimbledon to Grigor Dimitrov in the quarter finals. However, Neil Harmon in The Times reported that Murray had decided that Mauresmo was the right person to oversee his bid to win a second US Open title at Flushing Meadow.

FOOTBALL: New Hibs boss Alan Stubbs swooped to sign Scott Allan from West Brom on a two-year contract. The 22-year old former Scotland Under-21 star has been chased by a number of clubs, including Rangers, but Stubbs persuaded him to sign on at Easter Road. SHINTY: This year’s Artemis Macaulay Cup final will be a re-run of last year’s clash between Newtonmore and Kyles. The 2013 finalists saw off Lovat and Oban Camanachd and will meet in the final in Oban later this month. GOLF: Scotland’s Scott Jamieson fired a final round 69 to finish third in the Russian Open. England’s David Horsey won the title after a play-off victory over Ireland’s Damien McGrane.

“For the first time I feel like a football manager. Touch wood, a lot of the issues are away now.” Ally McCoist The Rangers manager is happy to be dealing with football matters rather than off-field issues at last

“My good shots are good, but there are still some calamities. I don’t really know where to look once I’ve struck it.” Peter Whiteford Scottish golfer struggles for consistency

“It might be a blessing in disguise that we have another year together.” Jim Jefferies The Dunfermline boss is philosophical about his side’s failure to win promotion

Stuart McCall

It was reported that the Motherwell boss’s transfer budget is likely to be slashed after his club crashed out of the Europa League following a disappointing 3-2 defeat by Icelandic part-timers Stjarnan.

■ Colin Montgomerie finished second at the Senior Open at Royal Porthcawl, a massive 13 shots behind winner Bernhard Langer. 2 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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COMMENT

FRED SAID Comedian, broadcaster and presenter

FRED MACAULAY

Celebrity status? On your bike, sonny! Our man Fred finds fame isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be

■ The great thing about standup comedy is that there is no hiding place. You KNOW when a joke hits the dirt. Within microseconds. And in comedy we have different expressions for good and bad gigs. A really good one is a “stormer” and at the opposite end of the spectrum is “death”. Sounds serious, but every comedian will have “died” at some point. If you do well in my business, you might become “famous”. I’ve been asked in the past “Are you famous?” Well, clearly not, or you wouldn’t have asked. If anyone says: “Do you know who I am?” it usually means they reckon they’re a celebrity. But last week, travelling across Glasgow on my motor bike and running

Clarifications and corrections The Stooshie is committed to journalism of the highest standards and we aim to produce our magazine with accuracy, honesty and fairness. Our journalists adhere to the DC Thomson company values of integrity, respect, commitment and creativity. We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice which is enforced by the Press Complaints Commission. It is our policy to publish clarifications and corrections when necessary and as quickly as possible. You can contact us by email at: editor@thestooshie.co.uk or by writing to: The Readers’ Editor, The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

late due to Games traffic, I tried to pull the celebrity card at a barrier for which a Games pass was required. The lady at the barrier, was east end Glasgow through and through... and wasn’t for letting ME through. “Can you PLEASE let me past... I’m the comedian Fred MacAulay and I’m on air in 10 minutes.” I was brought down to earth with a bump by her response: “Naw yer naw!” I parked the bike across the road and ran the last 800 metres to the studio with seconds to spare. I wonder in retrospect if her reply was: a) I’m not Fred MacAulay, (I AM) b) I wouldn’t be on air in 10 minutes (I WAS) or c) I wasn’t a comedian...

Checking out a silly season tale of tanks and banks ■ With much of our attention drawn to The Commonwealth Games this last couple of weeks, I wondered what stories might be swilling around under the radar. Some stories capture your interest simply with the headlines, others you really have to read a couple of times wondering whether it’s been an old April Fool story revitalised by a “like” tag on social media. One such was that a think tank is considering an oath for bankers (such as Fred Goodwin, below) to swear. Seriously? I guess they’re so fed up with us swearing at them that they want to even the playing field a bit and swear back. I’ve never been part of a think tank, and don’t know anyone who has. Is it an actual tank? If so, which kind? Armoured vehicle or flotation? I’d suggest the former. Remember bankers, sticks and stones may break my bones, but non-adherence to strict financial ethics will create an atmosphere of distrust and eventual personal financial misery to millions. Don’t bother swearing an oath, just do your job properly.

Information about the Code of Practice can be obtained from The Press Complaints Commission at Halton House, 20/23 High Holborn, London EC1N 2JD or email complaints@pcc.org.uk or call 0845 6002757 or 0207 8310022. Published in Great Britain by D.C. Thomson & Co. Ltd, 185 Fleet Street, London, EC4A 2HS. © D. C. Thomson & Co., Ltd, 2014. Distributed by Marketforce, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London, SE1 0SU. Tel: +44(0) 20 3148 3300 Fax: +44(0) 20 3148 8105 Website: www. marketforce.co.uk

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