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Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo’s and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.


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Prep Princess Pops!

By Max Jiminez

Kelli from TV’s ‘NYC Prep’ Debuts Her First Music Single Millions know Kelli as the girl from Bravo’s hit reality show, NYC Prep. Billed as the real life Gossip Girl, NYC Prep chronicled the lives of a group of privileged teenagers navigating through Manhattan’s elite prep school scene. But Kelli’s high school career wasn’t about masquerade parties and debutante balls. She turned ‘Prep’ into ‘Prepare’, spending her time out of the classroom gearing up for the launch of her singing career. At long last, we finally hear the results of her hard work as Kelli releases her first dance/pop music single, “Gave Up on Love.” NYC Prep’s Kelli is all grown up! It has been a very exciting time. Since the show ended, I have immersed myself into my singing career. How are fans responding to the new Kelli? I think fans are most surprised to see me out of my Upper East Side school girl uniform. Was the Kelli portrayed on the show the real you? Or was it the ‘reality’ you? I had about ten minutes max of TV time on each episode. There must be a lot more to me than that, right?! (Laughs) Were you happy with how you were portrayed? I wanted the show to showcase my budding singing career, which it did, so I was happy. I do cringe at the scenes when I was selecting my voice teachers, though. Do you keep in touch with anyone from the show? Everyone has gone off to college. I guess like most high school friendships, we’ve gone our separate ways in order to chase our dreams. Your dream is to go from prep to pop! I like that. 10 davidatlanta

Why did you choose to make such a powerful antilove statement with your first single? Are you really against love? I am in no way against love. What I am against are people drowning and losing themselves into relationships without really knowing who they are or what they want out of life. How do you feel about Taylor Swift writing and singing about finding her Romeo? People are wasting too much time chasing white horses. You have never pined over an ill-fated love? Yes, of course I have. I have poems written about loves I had in the 4th grade. 4th grade love is a whole other story! (Laughs) What is ‘Gave Up on Love’ about? The song depicts the journey of a heart broken girl or guy at the point she or he begins hanging with friends and realizing life isn’t over because a relationship didn’t work out. The next best thing will come along eventually. When you’re in between relationships, it’s time to appreciate the real loves in your life – your friends. Would you turn away Mr. Right if he appeared in your life right now? Yes, I have no time for nonsense.  How did NYC prep you for the real world? If NYC Prep taught me anything, it was to develop a thick skin. When you put yourself out there, either with a show or a new record, you’re going to be critiqued. It’s important to take the good with the bad. How do you keep your focus? I stay true to myself. I was a singer before the show, I sang during the show and I plan on singing long after the show.


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The Brent Star Report Lena “Hot Damn” Lust

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hild, I’m worn out! I just got back from travelling in my time machine. I was doing research for my write up on one of the living legends in this great land of Midtown, Atlanta, Miss Lena ‘Hot Damn’ Lust. My first stop was the year 2004, it’s the year when I first started doing drag and when I fell in love with Miss Lust. The place was at a now extinct club called THE METRO. The club was packed with a bunch of Who’s Who and Who Ain’t! I was somewhere flirting of course, after just finishing up a show at Blakes when the host, Shawnna Brooks, called Ms. Lust out onto the stage. She came out on that stage with an amazing burst of energy and danced non stop as if on fire to the whole 5 or 6 minute Whitney mix around the whole bar as if she was 20 years old (she was in her mid 50s then). It felt like everyone stopped what they were doing while under her spell. She was incredible! Today, she’s still going strong and just a few months shy of turning 60 years old. After interviewing her, I realized there’s no way I can cover her story on just one damn page David gives me once a week. I’d have to write a book. However, I decided to cover just a few “moments” of her career. But before we get back inside the time machine, Lena introduced me to a shot she’s famously known for drinking called a “hot damn” thus how she got her nick name. Now we’re ready, let’s go back to the 70’s for a ‘hot damn’ second shall we. Let’s go

The 70’s

Brent: So tell us, when and WHY did you start doing drag? Lena: It all started when I was in college, University of Illinois, back in 1973. I was a music student always entertaining and singing. One day, with my best friends I thought it would be funny to sing in drag. Apparently they wanted to see that happened to so one of them bought me a wig and for my costume I used a beautiful choir robe that my mom made me for the choir that I was in. I put on a show in the apt we were staying in next to the campus. I did two numbers, “Delta Dawn” by Bette Midler and “My Man” from the Lady Sings the Blues soundtrack. They made me feel good when the ppl who filled the place were throwing money and roses at me. That was my first drag experience and I’ve been doing it every since, 38 years later! Brent: When did you move to Atlanta and what’s the name of the first club here to hire you? Lena: In 1977 with some friends. We bought a big box of Kentucky Fried Chicken and biscuits and we 14 davidatlanta

ate it alllllll the way …13 hours to my first apt in East Point. Two weeks later, I got hired at a club called The County Seat off Cheshire Bridge…which closed 2 weeks after I got here. Lol. Brent: What was the club scene like back then? Lena: Big! Grand! Back then, you started out in the small clubs then work your way to the big clubs on Cheshire Bridge. The clubs on that strip were all big… think 5 or 6 Jungles. Honey all of them had full stages where we did huge productions numbers. We even had ppl to build sets for the production backdrops. Oh and the pageants were HUGE! I remember for one of them, the prize was a Cadillac! Oh yea, we made BIG money back then!

Fast forward to the 90’s!

Lena: I knew Charlie Brown before she had her show. I worked with her at Sweet Gum Head where she’d emceed from time to time. She was one of the biggest stars there and had won Miss Atlanta in ’76. Years later we both got our own shows. Of course, hers was at Backstreets in 1990 and mine was at Blakes in 1992. Coincidently, they both ended in 2004. You know Brent, I’ve seen a lot of changes over the years working at over 75 clubs! From downtown to where Peachtree and W Peachtree meet to all the way to 14 street, there were a slew of gay clubs and gay organizations and I was in heaven. During that time Atlanta was known as Las Vegas of the South.

Today…

You can catch Lena back at Blakes where she performs Weds, Thurs, and Saturdays. I asked her what advice she would give new comers and she told me to “Always be true and honest to yourself, you’ll go a long way. Learn to ‘listen’ and stop trying to be all knowing. Enjoy what you do, it’s rewarding for me to still love what I do after 38 years”. And we still love you Lena! Until next week, don’t read the girls, .instead, read The Brent Star Report! Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Einsteins (with RuPaul’s contestants Nicole Paige Brooks of season 2 and Mariah Paris Balenciaga of season 3), Saturdays at Tijuana Garage Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays! www.facebook.com/Mr.BrentStar


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Ask Momma Mona Reader Responses Regarding Herpes Dear Momma Mona,

Dear Momma Mona,

Having herpes also puts one at greater risk for the much bigger “H”.

Herpes is not life threatening! Hello? All you have to do is take care of yourself, get on some medication that suppresses it, and get on with your life. No big deal. Scheeeze….

T

A Realist Dear Momma Mona, You rock! That letter from the guy who was surprised by a herpes outbreak was me several years ago. Yes, it was hurtful, but mostly because I was angry with myself for having not taken precautions. Alcohol and condoms do not work together very well. And, condoms pretty much suck anyway. One thing you failed to mention is that the statistics for gay men are almost double that of heteros. So, if you think about it, the statistics are more like 1 in 3 to be positive for herpes in the gay community. It took me a lot of struggling about my situation back then, but I finally gave in to just be open about it. I was surprised at how easy that was. Most of my partners either were positive themselves or were OK with the risk. I even had one long term relationship where my partner never had a breakout. Of course, he could have been positive and just lucky not to have breakouts. I’m pleased to say that I experience a breakout only about 2-3 times a year and they really are not as bad as they were that first year. I’m also taking Valtrex. Your statement that having herpes does not define a person is so right. That first year I let it define me and I was miserable. But as soon as I decided how to handle it, I no longer gave it power to cause shame and embarrassment. I like what you said: “It is what it is.” Now I’m more embarrassed about some stubborn butt hair.

Dear Momma Mona, One tip on having herpes is to stay away from any perfumes in soaps and laundry detergents. Also, stay away from tight underwear because that seems to get the irritation going. I take mega doses of vitamin C all the time and really work at my health. When I do have that rare breakout, it is usually when I’ve been sick or really stressed. Living with herpes Dear Momma Mona, Herpes sucks! I’m with that guy who is mad as hell with his ex-partner. I know you said that some people don’t know they have herpes, but it still doesn’t take the sting away when you get it. It has taken me years and several different medications to get mine under control and it hurts like hell. It’s like having cut glass…….{on an area}. And, you want to know a little more than if a person has it. You want to know WHERE they have it……for obvious reasons. Still Angry, but Smarter

Keep up the good work! DD

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Share YOUR thoughts and experiences with other David readers! MommaMona@DavidAtlanta.com


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A Sordid Interview with Del Shores

By Jesse A. Hancock

Del Shores: Sordid Confessions will be presented Friday, March 4th at 8 p.m.

D

el Shores, creator of Sordid Lives and Sordid Lives: The Series, is returning to town and bringing his new show, Del Shores: Sordid Confessions, to Jungle on Friday, March 4. The Southern-loved writer/director/producer/activist and stand-up comedian recently received rave reviews at the Laurie Beechman Theatre in New York City and at The Rose Room in Dallas. Whether he’s recalling details of his “slut” years or calling out the “assholes and bitches he’s worked with,” no subject is off-limits in the new show. “Del says what most people think,” said actress and comedienne Caroline Rhea. “He has no censor on or offstage. Audiences love him because of his ‘blesstheir-hearts’ Texas charm.” His career took off with the 1987 play Daddy’s Dyin’ (Who’s Got The Will?) and the subsequent 1990 film. His other plays include Southern Baptist Sissies, The Trials and Tribulations of a Trailer Trash Housewife and, mostly recently, Yellow. Shores has also written for TV shows including Queer As Folk, Dharma and Greg and Ned and Stacey. He is married to actor/Billboard Top 20 recording artist Jason Dottley and is the father of two daughters. David: What will the audience experience with the new show, Del Shores: Sordid Confessions? Are there any characters from Sordid Lives, the movie or television show? Del: This new show is just me. I finally gave up the crutches of using my cast members and became brazen enough to walk out onto the stage by myself. It’s 75 minutes of pure stand-up. The last show was about 26 davidatlanta

Tickets are $20 reserved seating or $15 general admission, available at www.tix.com my characters, but this one is more observational. I’m willing to trash a few people, mainly people I’ve worked with, and the response of their fans. I actually read some real letters in the show that I’ve received and my responses to those letters. I’m sort of ruthless to these fans. I’ve done a lot of stand-up this past year. I did some by myself and some with Caroline Rhea, who plays Noleta Nethercott in Sordid Lives: The Series. When Rue McClanahan was alive, I did some shows with her and Leslie Jordan. Rue played Peggy Ingram on the series and Leslie played Brother Boy in the movie and the series. I just really started enjoying stand-up. I love talking to the audience. I started taking Paxil and I’m not depressed anymore, so I don’t give a shit what I say. It isn’t the most politically right show, but I got really good reviews in New York and Dallas. I’m excited to play in Atlanta. We have a very nice fan base there in Atlanta. I always love playing in the South; they get me there. You don’t have to explain anything. If you start talking about ‘The Judds,’ everyone in the South knows who they are, and they know they’re fucked up. David: Absolutely! We can all relate to your characters. Living here in the South, we have those personalities in our families. Del: I’m always amazed. Every now and then I’ll get a review in some Northern state, and they go, ‘Oh those are stereotypes and they don’t exist,’ and I’m thinking, ‘You just don’t know.’ I just talked to my real Aunt Sissy, who is in the hospital. She had a heart attack, and we’re very worried about her. I think when she had the heart attack, she hit the ground with a cigarette in her hand. My cousin, Sherry, called and said they had to


delay her surgery because they “had to get all that gunk out of her lungs.” Then she told me my aunt ate some “seer-uhl” today. I was thinking I hadn’t heard anyone pronounce cereal like that since my Dad passed away. David: Will fans ever get to see another Sordid Lives movie? Del: I think they may. We are pursuing that right now. There is lots of interest. My goal is to write and shoot two films at the same time because, you know, my cast is getting old. After Rue passed away I said, ‘We can’t lose any more people.’ We want to do two movies: A Very Sordid Christmas and A Very Sordid Wedding. Then I think I’ll put the Sordid franchise away. David: Do you have a favorite Sordid character? Del: I wouldn’t dare say who my favorites are because they’ll all get Google alerts and kill each other. Seriously, I cannot actually name favorites because I have an affinity for all of them. They really are like children that I created. These quirky, crazy characters are fun to write, every single one of them. I guess if I had to choose a character that I’d like to hang out with a lot, it would be LaVonda because she would drink with me, and she cusses a lot, and she would stay out until 3 a.m. and not apologize for it. And of course I’d love to sleep with Ty, which I get to do every night, since he’s my husband. If I got to have a fling, it would be with Ty’s boyfriend in the show, Jacob, played by Ted Detwiler. He’s such a sweet, straight guy in real life. He has a little girl and a wife. He really committed to the role. I told him I wanted him to be the best boyfriend he could be and become everyone’s fantasy boyfriend.

You can fight all you can and allow people to cripple your creativity, or you can go forward. I decided to go forward right away, so she wrote again and said, ‘I just wanted to make sure you got my last email.’ She is absolutely amazingly sweet. I adore her.

David: How did you get Olivia to play the character of Bitsy Mae Harling? Del: She had seen the play and, on my birthday, the year before we shot the movie, she called me and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me, which was so cool. I always think, who gets Olivia Newton-John to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to them? That’s the kind of person she is. She asked what I had been up to, and we chatted. I told her I was trying to get stars attached to some of the roles in the movie. Jokingly she said, ‘Oh, you should teach me that accent and let me play one of those women. I could do the bar singer; do you think I could do the bar singer?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, but I bet you could.’ The David: Which character is most similar to you? day I called her and asked if she was serious. She Del: When I wrote the play in 1996, I was a lot younger. next ‘Let me think about it.’ Then she called me back I really based the character of Ty on me in a lot of ways. said, next day and said, ‘Yes, I want to do it. If you teach I made him single and he didn’t have the past I had in the the accent, I’ll do it.’ She has a good ear for accents. real life of being married with two children. I definitely me that’s how it happened. She is wonderful to direct. based all the therapy sessions and Ty’s relationship So with his mother on my experiences with my mom. I She’s very trusting and will try anything. didn’t come out to my mom at my grandmother’s David: Why do you think audiences, especially funeral, nor did my mom trip over two wooden legs, Southern and gay audiences, love these characters but her response to my coming out was very much so much? like Latrelle’s with her blaming my being gay on the Del: It’s because they see someone they know in these doctor and saying I’ve always been her “special boy” characters. I also feel gay fans help these characters and that we would never have been so close if I wasn’t cross over into straight audiences because gay fans gay. And the part where she asks in the movie, “What are willing to share it with their families and friends. is it exactly that you do?” regarding my sex life. That It’s amazing to me how many straight females love my was my mother. She wanted to know every detail. A work. They adore it because the gay boys have shown lot of my family is just like the characters, but I don’t it to their straight friends. There are a lot of gay movies have an uncle Brother Boy. I created him with Leslie that you just are not going to show your parents, but Jordan in mind. this really isn’t a gay movie if you think about it. There is a gay sensibility about it. Most of the story lines in David: Don’t we all have a Noleta in our families? series are not gay either. And everyone loves those Del: Yes, we do. I was watching ‘Hoarders’ the other the I can’t tell you how many people say, ‘My day and I realized Noleta was a hoarder. I didn’t realize women. I was creating a character like that. She had all that shit mother is Latrelle’ or ‘I have an Aunt Sissy.’ in her front yard. Watching ‘Hoarders’ just makes me David: Sordid Lives: The Series is tied up in feel so good about myself. legal red tape that will most likely keep it from returning. What have you learned from this David: What is Olivia Newton-John like in person? ever Del: She is her image. She is the sweetest person in the experience? I learned to trust my gut. When I went with this world. She is generous and kind, and she loves people Del: who ultimately screwed us, my gut told me and animals. To quote her sister, Rhona, ‘If you want producer, to go with him, but my agents said give him a try to make sure you’re on a flight that won’t crash, make not they represented him, which looking back was sure you’re with Olivia because God would never do because a conflict of interest. They knowingly put me that to such a good person.’ She is so thoughtful. I get really bed with someone that they knew had a reputation, emails from her all the time. Like the other day when I in has now been exposed. I was talked into this, won the L.A. Drama Critics award, I got an email from which I will never do that again. We’ve had such a her congratulating me. Who does that at her level of and fame? Then she wrote me the other day, and I wrote horrible time with the series going away and the her back. Then she wrote me back and I didn’t respond Continued on page 32 davidatlanta 27


The Frugal Faggot

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ast week I promised to chronicle my Oscar’s party-on-a-budget, but just realized that won’t be possible – not because I’m not gonna have a wild Oscar’s party-on-abudget, but because the Oscars aren’t until Sunday. I’m great with money but terrible with dates—just ask my boyfriend - who for the last four years has consistently gotten birthday gifts on every day around his birthday but never on it. If you are reading this week for Oscar party tips, I’m still throwing the Oscar bash complete with a red carpet event, but I’ll actually chronicle the event via the website. Enter shameless plug . . .

Besides sneaking in my own candy, let me share a few of the money saving tips I use when going to the movies. First, whatever your favorite theater is in town (mine happens to be UA Tara) find out if they have a rewards program. I frequently use Regal Theater’s Crown Club Card (which includes UA Tara and Atlantic Station), which earns me points toward free tickets, soda and popcorn. Additionally, on Tuesdays I get a small popcorn for only $2.00 with my card and paid admission. AMC and Landmark Theaters each have their own reward programs. Check with your local theater or visit their websites for details.

While I will share some movie tips, this week I’m going to pimp myself, The Frugal Faggot and my newly launched website, www.frugalfaggot.com. The website is designed to bring you the most up-to-date information and biggest money saving deals that may be just too hot for print or available for a limited time. Last week, I shared some great 50% off restaurant deals to Jack’s Pizza, Smith’s Olde Bar, and Radial Café to name a few. Additionally, I shared some of the hottest Grammy winners’ CDs for $5.00 or less from the Amazon MP3 Store.

Second, various media outlets across Atlanta (newspapers, radio stations etc.) are always holding screenings to new movies prior to their release dates. These are designed to get the general public to see the film and hopefully generate positive word-of-mouth for the film to help bolster opening weekend numbers. This month alone I’ve seen or will see Unknown, The Adjustment Bureau and Beastly before they hit theaters. While some of these are not necessarily films I would’ve paid to see, a free night out of the house is always worth it.

With such categories as Dine on a Dime and Daily Deals, my daily posts will bring you the best, current savings across Atlanta. Subscribe to my posts today and make sure you bookmark the website and visit frequently as new functions and logos will be added in the coming weeks. Now the show must go on.

In preparation for the Oscar Awards on Sunday, let me share a third tip designed to get you out to the movies this weekend. AMC theaters is offering a Best Picture Showcase with a 24 hour pass where you can view all 10 nominees back-to-back for $50.00, which includes a $20.00 AMC gift card to use for concessions. If watching 10 back-to-back movies is a little too much, don’t worry. There is a 121-minute break (The Social Network) that you can grab a quick snooze during. There’s also the 5 movie pass for $35.00 with a $10.00 gift card for concessions. Visit www.amctheaters.com/ bps for show times and more information. If neither of these options work for you visit my website for a quick one sentence synopsis of the 10 Best picture nominees.

Movies The Oscar Awards have to be my favorite awards season of the year. In all honesty, I love going to the movies. There is something about sitting in a dark theater, munching on popcorn and candy and slurping on a soda while your excitement builds for the movie you are about to see. Sometimes that excitement fizzles (Burlesque better known as Showgirls II) and sometimes it soars (The King’s Speech), but all the same, you leave with an experience. But damn the movies are expensive!!!! A date to the movies with popcorn and drink will cost you upwards of $35.00. That’s just too much for me to pay.

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Go out and see a movie this weekend, tune in to watch yummy James Franco (with both arms) host the Oscars and don’t forget to bookmark the website this week and check back for zany Oscar Party pictures from preparation and red carpet to the actual awards.


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A Sordid Interview with Del Shores Continued from page 27 lawsuits that the Writers’ Guild and Screen Actors’ Guild and Directors’ Guild actually won on our behalf. The series, which was the number one series on Logo, went away and the producer filed bankruptcy and still owes us all that money, but we just decided to let all that go and focus on moving forward. Part of that healing was just getting onstage and making people laugh. It’s great feeling appreciated by so many fans, who were so amazing. You can fight all you can and allow people to cripple your creativity, or you can go forward. I decided to go forward.

David: What else would you like Atlanta fans and David Magazine readers to know about you? Del: Well, there is one thing. I’m trying to start this rumor. Many people think of me as this serious playwright because I returned to the stage. I don’t really want to be that person. I want to be known as the guy with the big dick. If the Atlanta guys could start a rumor that they saw it somewhere or got a glimpse of it, that would really help me. There is nothing better than having that reputation. That’s what you get when you come to my show. It’s not going to be a serious show.

David: You’ve announced that you will be in Atlanta filming a movie in March. What can you tell us about it? Del: I’ll be staying in Atlanta until April 9. We’re shooting the film version of my play, The Trials and Tribulations of a Trailer Trash Housewife. We start filming March 21. It’s a very fast shoot. I’m using the original company that created the roles onstage. Every one of the actors is coming back to play their characters on film. I adore them. Beth Grant, who played Sissy in Sordid Lives is in it. Playing her husband is David Steen, who played G.W. in the series. Then there’s Octavia Spencer, who plays the neighbor. Her star is really rising right now. She plays one of the leading roles in the new Steven Spielberg movie coming in August called The Help, based on Kathryn Stockett’s best-selling novel. Then Dale Dickey is in the movie. Sordid Lives fans know her as the woman in jail who glued her husband’s penis to his stomach. She was also in the series as Bitsy Mae Harling’s girlfriend. Completing the cast is Debby Holliday. If you’ve gone to any gay club this past year, you’ve heard some of her dance hits. She had a hit with my husband, Jason, called ‘Party Around the World.’ I’m having such a fun time with this material. I wrote it in 2003. David: How do you feel about shooting the movie in Atlanta? Del: I’m real excited to shoot there. Beats the hell out of shooting in Shreveport! I love the community there. There are a lot of attractive people. Plus you have Jungle and Swinging Richards and Blake’s on the Park. I also love Outwrite. I have a lot of good friends in Atlanta. I have to go away to L.A. for one weekend during the time we’re shooting. I’m very fortunate to be awarded the L.A. Drama Critics Award for Best World Premiere Play for my new play that just played in L.A. for six months called Yellow. I did really well with that. I’m going to go back, collect my award, and see if we win any of the others we were nominated for. Then I’ll be right back to shoot the movie. David: How is Jason (Dottley), your husband, who plays Ty in Sordid Lives: The Series? Del: Jason has his third single coming out within the next six weeks called ‘Pop It.’ It’s my favorite of the three he has done, and I think it’s going to do really well. Because of the success of the other two, he now has DJs contacting him and saying they want to work with him and do the remixes. He has some really A-listers calling on him. I think we might get him on the Top 10 on the dance charts this time. I really feel like he is destined for that. He’s such a good entertainer and loves doing it.

Del Shores: Sordid Confessions will be presented Friday, March 4th at 8 p.m. Tickets are $20 reserved seating or $15 general admission, available at www.tix.com

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La Nota Rosa

A

DE ACÁ O DE ALLÁ

llá es donde nací. Acá es donde vivo ahora. Cuando me vine hace un par de años , sentí que dejaba todo  allá. Pero realmente quería y necesitaba irme.

De a poco mi vida se fue dividiendo. Allá tenía a mis viejos, a mis amigos, a mis abuelos. Conocía las calles y podía manejarme a la perfección. Existía la seguridad de saber que con salir 7 minutos antes de tu casa, en bici llegabas puntual al colegio. O que las mejores facturas de dulce de leche eran las de Alicia. De esas seguridades había allá. De las que genera la costumbre y la rutina, lo que se repite y sabés que inevitablemente va a seguir sucediendo. Porque allá todo es cíclico, todo se mueve lentamente. La gente duerme la siesta hasta las 5 en el verano y los sábados tienen mucho de domingo. Cuando me vine me di cuenta que mi vida de allá estaba toda inflada. Que no extrañaba a mi ex novio, porque probablemente nunca lo quise de verdad. Me di cuenta 34 davidatlanta

By Luis Chiruco

que mis amigos eran los pocos de siempre. Y que a todos los otros nunca más los volvería a ver con frecuencia. Acá tengo grandes amigos que se vinieron también de  allá, sigo en contacto con otros que se fueron a  otros lados, están mi tía y algunas primas. Y vivo con mi novio, con quien a veces tratamos de escapar de la vida planificada. Y está R, claro. Al principio no supe a donde pertenecía. De dónde era, si de acá o de allá. Con el tiempo me di cuenta que mi casa no era más mi casa, que  ya no era lo mismo. Que mi relación con mis viejos era mejor así, a la distancia. Y que vivir con mi novio es muy entretenido. Ahora estoy seguro que soy de acá, que pertenezco a donde soy libre de amar. Donde vivo cierto anonimato, donde no existe esa masa agobiante, esa red social tan pequeña y pegajosa que te ahoga, te atrapa en su monocromática textura.


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Date Book

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Date Book

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Simon Doonan Interview

By Dot429

Fashion as a Career Simon Doonan, creative ambassador-at-large for Barneys New York, discusses his career path, his new position, and being out in the fashion world. How would you describe your work ethic and how have you achieved the success you have today? Doonan: I always had to have very low expectations, but a lot of drive. I had a basic work ethic. No matter what kind of job I had, whether it was glamorous or not glamorous, I sort of threw myself into it.  In my case, I guess it’s combined with creativity, which I was able to utilize, and I guess, I’m patient too. I never really hit my stride until I was in my 30s- in my 20s, I was sort of just having fun and then finding out who I was.  I also think it’s good to take your time and not be too obsessive and looney about your career. What are the biggest career hurdles that you’ve had to overcome? Doonan: I never really thought about it in those terms. For me, because I went into retail and I went into window display, there were plenty of gay people in those professions and gay people are identified with those professions. So it wasn’t like I went into a super straight environment like sports or Wall Street and then had to sort of persuade everybody that I was competent. I went into a super gay professional environment and just- sort of- really threw myself at it creatively, and that sort of bore fruit for me. Has sexual orientation ever played a role in your career? Doonan: Well, I think with my writing, which is part of what I do, sometimes people don’t take it seriously if they think that you’re gay. In the past, like when I got one of my books reviewed in the New York Times, the reviewer described me as ‘foppish’ and ‘superficial.’  I thought it was kind of funny at first and then I realized he was reviewing me and not reviewing the book.  So, I think that can happen if you’ve always been out, because I’ve always been out, sometimes people don’t take me so seriously. They’re more likely to take a gay woman seriously, whereas a gay man they think, ‘oh yeah, he’s probably creative or funny or whatever’ and maybe a lesbian is more likely to be thought of as having some kind of professional gravitas. I don’t 46 davidatlanta

feel like my career has been a struggle. I’ve been really lucky to have a great career in retail and  I’ve been able to augment it with other things like my writing, and personal appearances, and that kind of stuff. What would you name as the current style trends for the LGBT community? Are they different from mainstream or are they the same? Doonan: I don’t know. I think, you know, fashion is a very chaotic, diverse landscape. You’ve got anything from the Jersey Shore look right though to high fashion and Tilda Swinton right through to Brooklyn hipster chic. There are a million different ways to dress now. The fashion landscape is very complicated and gay people are in there, enjoying it, and expressing themselves. There are particular trends which I think are identified with gay people -- you know gay men tend to like tight clothes, but so does everybody else at this point. Do you have a response to the negative press and rumors surrounding your promotion? Doonan: I just think it’s hilarious that people think that they have insights into situations which they clearly have no connection with.  I’m amazed at people’s willingness to speculate about motivations and situations.  Actually, I don’t read all that, I don’t read blogs and stuff like that, I don’t.  I’ve always had insanely focused concentration. When I get to work, I know exactly what I need to get accomplished. I only check my email later in the mornings or maybe even in the afternoons. I don’t believe in this thing of being in response mode, and I think I’ve become successful because I’m not distracted. When I get to work, I think, I need to do this, I need to do that, and I’m actually performing tasks, rather than just responding to stuff.  When I go on my computer, I know I have to write my article for Elle Decor, I have to write this, I have to write that, I have to respond to that.  I go through my emails and it’s very task-orientated. The idea of surfing people’s opinions about me in a sort of random way or people’s speculations, I don’t think that’s a good key to success.  I think there are people totally distracted with Facebook and social media and it is going to inhibit their success. If you want to talk about success, I think the people I know that are the most successful are sort of relentlessly focused on their tasks and they prioritize for themselves, rather than getting


distracted.  The culture of distraction and social media can be very corrosive. I think you have to be wary of it, because you could really lose your mojo and get lost in it.  I make a point of not doing that, so I miss a lot of the negative speculations about my job and myself.

couldn’t sell a TV show in Hollywood if it had a fashion component, it was like the kiss of death. Cut to the late 90s,  Sex and the City, Ugly Betty and fashion became central to our culture.  It’s good to remember that this is something that’s Do you have any future goals and ambitions? happened in the last 20 years- fashion went Doonan: My main goal is to grow old ungraciously. from being this marginal interest of wealthy You know they say you should grow old graciously, people to being this very central thing. Now you I want to do the complete opposite and then do can buy fashionable, glamorous clothes at H&M, all the most over-the-top things. I think when you Target, and  Barneys. It’s not the prerogative of rich get older you should dress more flamboyantly, you people. The fashion landscape is infinite, and crazy, should wear bigger sunglasses, and you should have and completely incomprehensible, but also a lot of more fun and do all the crazy things you’ve always fun, and there’s room for a lot more people there. wanted to do. I’m staring down the barrel of sixty and thinking ‘yeah before I clock my clogs, I want to Do you have any advice for someone who is aspiring have great experiences.’ It’s not quite so much about to work in the industry? career accomplishments. I am, though, interested in Doonan: If I was coming out of school I would getting more and more involved in internet projects.  go into retail first and then from that point try and I write a column for Slate magazine, I write for the work my way into the design studio of a company. Barneys website, and that kind of stuff excites me and interests me. I don’t have any preconceived ideas Who are the up and coming designers that you have and I never had tons of specific ambitions. You know your eye on? how people say you’re supposed to have a dream Doonan: Well, the up and coming ones come up and all that stuff? I never understood that. I think so quickly, like Alexander Wang is now hugely my goals were always relatively simple. I wanted to successful.  It’s good to remember that  it’s hard and keep my job, do a good job, and then see where that not easy being successful in your twenties. To be very would lead.  I think sometimes having a dream, a big successful before you have a lot of experience and dream, is like wanting to win the lottery. You know maturity is --  I wouldn’t want it because it’s hard for it’s not necessarily realistic, so it’s much better to have people to handle. Look at people like Lindsay Lohan, achievable goals. To have achievable, simple goals, she is hugely successful and obviously a creative unique to your situation could be a lot more satisfying and  special person, but the maturity and  experience than some American Idol dream, or win the lottery aren’t there. This has had catastrophic effects for dream, or have my own fashion company dream. A lot her.  Now, answering your question, Aaron Sciandra of people tell me  ‘my dream is to own my own fashion works with me on a lot of different projects, but he company› and I say, ‹if you knew more about fashion, also has a great bag business called brooklynbags. you would understand that it’s actually a nightmare to com, which is an incredibly creative business with deal with the logistics and horrors of owning your own tons of great ideas in it.  Aaron is a good example of company.›  Karl Lagerfeld doesn›t own Chanel, he just how you can be entrepreneurial, creative and have works there. He strolls in and out and does an amazing a website and make great stuff.   Maybe you’re not job. Just stop and think for succumbing to this idea of selling eight billion pieces to Target or H&M, but you unrealistic dreams, because it may have no relation, be have a nice creative business there. Don’t get hung up as I say a lottery win mentality, it’s much better to have on some global domination strategy, that would be achievable things because you can actually get there. my advice. I would say, be creative and do it more in   a guerrilla kind of way and have a lot of fun with it. Some people consider the fashion world to be very glamorous but also cutthroat and tough at the same Is there anything else you want to add? time. Do you believe that LGBT people in fashion  Doonan: Don’t sit at home waiting for Anna Wintour help each other out? to call you! Go out and get a job in the store and it gets Doonan: Yeah, I do, I do. I think that fashion is not a you out there where you meet other people. Retail has bitchy and cutthroat business. It is not anywhere near been very good to me and I’m still very involved in as bitchy and cut throat as the music business. I think retail 35 years later. Retail is a great place to get a foot in fashion, people tend to be very supportive to one hold and whether it’s at the Gap or  Chanel, it doesn›t another. It’s actually very unusual to hear somebody in matter. If you get involved, you find out who you are fashion slagging off somebody else. I know that sounds and you meet great people. You know, if it wasn›t crazy, but it’s true. People are very reticent to give bad for retail, I wouldn›t have had the fun career that reviews.  If you compare the average theater review with I’ve had. So, retail, retail, retail -- I’m a huge the average fashion review, fashion people get off very believer in it! Especially if you are feeling a lightly. Fashion is actually a culture of mutual support bit marginal, if you’re a gay person who feels and that’s not me just being Pollyanna. The music marginalized, or a transgender person, in industry and film industry are truly cutthroat, but the retail you’re not marginalized.  Like I’ve fashion industry is actually very Kumbaya you know. said to so many people,  ‘why don’t you get a job at a store?›  They look at me Over your years in this business, how has the like I’m giving them some third rate fashion business, from a business perspective, idea, and then I say,  ‘listen, I work changed? in a store and I’ve always worked Doonan: It actually went from being this tiny little in a store!› enterprise that was the prerogative of rich women Check out Simon›s website: to being this massive, unending juggernaut that has www.simondoonan.com penetrated the lives of everybody. In the 80s, you davidatlanta 47


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t he

Vag itar ia n by kat i e s tover W

hether you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, we all face stereotypes. I am going to focus on the stereotypes that plague the lesbian community, because after all, this is The Vagitarian, but keep in mind that these stereotypes aren’t necessarily true. To be honest, most of the stereotypes that brand the LGBT community are not accurate and give the “outsiders” a false perception of who we really are, and what we really stand for. Hang tight as we explore some of these ridiculous stereotypes.

2. All butch lesbians have short haircuts and are overweight.

FALSE. I don’t know why decided to coin the phrase “butch”, but I know plenty of butch lesbians who proudly sport their poney tails and who are in incredible shape, most of which are really successful athletes. Also, I know several straight women who like to keep it short up top. Since when does the length of your hair determine your sexuality?

1. In every lesbian relationship, there is one femme and one butch to take on the female and male role that exists in a hetero relationship.

FALSE. You gotta’ be kidding me... Sure, there are plenty of lesbian couples that are comprised of a more feminine woman with a more masculine woman, but it isn’t because the lesbian couple is trying to mimic a hetero relationship. It is simply because they love or are attracted to each other.

3. Lesbians hate men.

FALSE. While most lesbians will admit to not being attracted to men in the slightest, many will tell you that their best friends are in fact male, or that they share an incredible bond with their fathers. 50 davidatlanta


4. Lesbians have penis envy.

6. Lesbian relationships don’t last.

FALSE. I am sure that some women, just like some inadequate men, would like to have a penis, but most lesbians are in fact proud of their vagina. They know what to do with it, how to please it, and they do it well. So fellas, get it out of your heads that every lesbian wishes they had what you had. Lesbians don’t need junk, they are more intimate lovers with very creative imaginations...

FALSE. I know plenty of lesbian couples who have been together or happily married for many years. The divorce rate among hetero relationships has skyrocketed. The United States ranks #1 in the divorce rate. Relationships face many challenges and obstacles; try adding the fact that you are gay in to the mix. If a couple can get past the scrutiny that is associated with being in a same sex relationship, then I consider them to be strong and ready to withstand whatever may come their way.

5. All lesbians wear flannel.

FALSE. While I admit that I like to sport a good flannel from time to time, it has nothing to do with my sexuality. It has to do with the 30 degrees waiting for me outside my door. Flannels are warm and comfortable, and who doesn’t want to be warm and comfortable in freezing temperatures?

These are just a few of the stereotypes that lesbians face everyday. We haven’t even touched on the kind of cars they drive, shoes they wear, jobs, music they listen to, television shows they watch, or personal hygiene. Don’t believe everything you hear. If you want to get to know what lesbians are all about, then get to know a lesbian. Don’t go making false assumptions. Stereotypes exists everywhere. They are based on race, age, status, sexuality... The list goes on and on. Before you start buying into the ridiculous stereotypes of things that you are less familiar with, ask yourself if you would want someone to judge you based on the stereotypes that are associated with your gender, race, sexuality... etc. Break the cycle.

Questions? Comments? email me stover@davidatlanta.com davidatlanta 51


Horoscopes Aries This is not the time to skip steps. You may feel like you can save time or effort by trying out that alluring shortcut, but it leads into a quagmire that is sure to cost you more than you would expect.

SAGITTARIUS This is not the best time for you to be considering upgrades of any kind — especially to your career. Lateral moves are fine, of course, but your energy should align for bigger and better stuff in the near future.

TAURUS Something you had thought was going to be a hard slog turns out to be a piece of cake — so build on your momentum! You should be able to get more done than you would have dreamed possible.

CAPRICORN Your emotional state is usually pretty even-keeled, but this week, you’re even more so! See if you can surprise someone with a funny story or a knowing glance that lets them know you’re in on the secret.

GEMINI You need to be careful about your communication style, as it’s way too easy for you to be misread. Try to let go of anything that seems too complicated, at least for the time being.

AQUARIUS Other people are trickier than ever to deal with, and you may want to see if you can get them to chill out and let you do things your way — or just close the door and take care of business as only you can.

CANCER Your right brain is tired now, so give it a break and treat all your problems analytically. You ought to be able to formulate a savvy plan that takes all the little details into account. Get to work!

PISCES Your helpful attitude is a sure winner this week, so you ought to make sure that you’re facing all the right people. Friends, colleagues, family members — whoever needs you the most. Score some points!

Leo Your impulsive nature has worn you out somewhat, so give it the rest of the week off while you go about your business as usual. It’s a really good time for reconnecting with your best habits. VIRGO Now is the perfect time to take care of all the little things that need doing in your life — cleaning, paperwork, errands and so on. Your great mental energy helps you clear space for the good stuff! LIBRA You are a hard one to fool this week, though some may still try. You see things that others miss, and you are sure to spot tiny details out of place before the week is through. What you do with the info is up to you! SCORPIO Any plans you make this week should work out for the best. It’s a great time for you to lead groups and make sure that every voice is heard — especially those who are in the minority. Diversity helps! 52 davidatlanta


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W E D N E S DAY

3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Karaoke 8pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - FEATHERS & FLESH BURLESQUE REVUE 11pm Burkharts - Karaoke 10:30pm Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - 80s Music with Travis-Tim’s Black Jack Friends on Ponce - 3D Thursdays Disco & Dazzle with Diva Jasen Heretic - Boys Night Out-Mandatory Dress Code Party Or Go Shirtless-DJ Lydia Prim 10pm Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Karaoke 9PM Oscar’s - Wicked Wednesdays 80s Music Videos 8pm Tripps - Taco Buffet 5pm Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 VIP Room Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm 3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special Bellissima - ‘The Midtown Comedy Show’ / Open Mic at 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm-The Shawnna Factor Show 11pm Burkharts - Princess Charles’ Fashionistas Show 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Karaoke with Mikey-Tim’s Black Jack Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - AZUCA-Latin Night Hot Latin Tribal Beats with DJ Karlitos 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Door & 2-4-1 VIP Room Tripps - Karaoke with Darlene 9pm Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best! Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials

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F R I DAY S AT U R DAY

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - 1/2 Price Appetizers 11am-8pm-Blake’s Wild Card Show11pm Burkharts - Family Feud 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Rock Music-Free Pool with Tony Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Let’s Make A Deal Heretic - Time Warp 70s 80s 90s Music with Paul-Dance Floor Open 10pm Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best! Oscar’s - Show Tunes & Glee 8pm Swinging Richards - $5 Cover After Midnight Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!!

S U N DAY

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag On The Edge Show 11pm Burkharts - Karaoke 10:30pm The Eagle - Comedy TV-Free Pool with Tony Felix’s - Free Pool Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - S.I.N. Night with Brian - Dance Floor Open 10pm Jungle - Stars of the Century Show 11pm Las Margaritas -Dragamundo (formerly Dragamaki) with Bubba D. Licious and guests LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

T H U R S DAY

T U E S DAY

M O N DAY

Bartab Nightlife Guide

3 Legged Cowboy - Sugar Baby’s Trailer Park Revue-10pm Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm Burkharts - Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - Club Nights-DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up! Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Special Guest DJs-Dance Party 10pm Jungle - Dragnique Talent Search Competition. Doors Open 9:30pm. Dance Party Follows LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night 9pm Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas Show 11pm Burkharts - Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - Club Nights-DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Special Guest DJs-Dance Party 10pm Jungle - Special Guest DJs Dance Party LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone! Sanctuary - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Party Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 Tripps - Cookout 2pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times Amsterdam - Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Sunday Brunch 12-3-DJ’s Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Spin All Night Burkharts - Sunday Spectacular Show 9pm Club 91 - Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ Sedrick & DJ Brooks Felix’s - Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers Las Margaritas - All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM Model T - Sunday Dinner 3pm Tripps - Complimentary Buffet 3pm-Karaoke 7pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

See Guide on Page 62 for Locations


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Gay Atlanta Guide

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1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com

Atlanta Tourist Spots

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy. 770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456 33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264 RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS 35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082 39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491

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CLUB ARGOS 1923 WaltonWay-706-481-8829www.clubargos.net THE FILLING STATION @ The Parliament Resort 1258 Gordon Highway-706-828-7400 www.gayaugusta.com/thefillingstation

MACON

KAOS 2780 Riverside Drive – 478-621-0662 www.kaosmacon.com SYNERGY 425 Cherry Street – 478-755-9383

SAVANNAH

BLAINE’S 13 East Perry Street-912-233-6765 www.blainesbar.com CHUCK’S BAR 305 West River Street-912-232-1005 CLUB ONE 1 Jefferson Street-912-232-0200 www.clubone-online.com UNADILLA The Lumberyard @ Lumberjacks Resort 50 Highway 230-1-877-888-1688 www.lumberjackscampground.com

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TENNESSEE

AUGUSTA

CHATTANOOGA IMAGES 6005 Lee Highway-423-855-8210 www.mirage-complex.com CHUCK’S 27 W. Main Street- 423-265-5405 ALLAN GOLD’S 1100 McCallie Avenue-423-629-8080f

AL ABAMA

G EO R G I A

Out of Town Directory BIRMINGHAM THE QUEST 416 24th Street South-205-251-4313 www.the-quest-club.com OUR PLACE 2115 8th Avenue S. 205-715-0077 JOE���S ON SEVENTH 2627 7th Avenue South- 205-321-2812 www.joesonseventh.com

DOTHAN

CLUB IMAGINATION 4129 Ross Clark Circle 334-792-6555

MONTGOMERY

CLUB 322 322 N. Lawrence Street - 334-263-4322


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WALK-INS WELCOME 1579 Monroe Drive • Atlanta, GA 30324 • 404.876.7745 61 bubblesatlanta.com davidatlanta

Men’s Haircut $20 Women’s Haircut $30 Sunday Haircuts $15


Atlanta A to Z

By David C. Muller

EPISODE THIRTY-SEVEN:

“M is for Melanie”

Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County. The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.” Last week, Luke met his next door neighbor; a lipstick lesbian. I am incomplete as a woman without a sensual lesbian named Natalie and six other lesbian women. expression of my inner lesbian lust goddess and…” Thusly, Luke’s new friend, Melanie the Muff-Diver, Luke rolled his eyes as he ordered a took our hapless hero out for cocktails and beer on double round of Scotch; in his opinion, lesbians like Monday. They went to Blake’s on the Park simply Melanie were all too eager to climb up on a soap box because; let’s face it; there really isn’t any other place constructed with monotonous monogamy only to then to go to in Midtown on a Monday. During the drag declare an indefatigable and rapturous sense of paganshow, they ran into Consuela, Melanie’s lesbian Latina Buddhist pride regarding their preference for the wet friend; downing double shots of Sauza tequila and vaginal orifice. Luke found the proverbial hyperbole biting into green limes. nauseating and tedious yet his new friend Melanie At the bar, Melanie the Muff Diver revealed continued: her true intentions: “Okay, so Luke, check this out. “…and that’s why, Luke, I raise my glass As you know, I’m a lesbian and I am a proud to be a to my dear friend, my dear lovely lesbian Latina 62 davidatlanta


friend from Oaxaca,” Melanie the Muff-Diver raised a bottle of Stella Artois, “Welcome home to America, Consuela! We’re proud you are a lesbian and we’re proud you finally have your green card!” Everyone, including Luke, took a drink; Luke took a big long sip and asked Consuela, “I thought you got your green card in last week’s episode.” “Si, senor.” Consuela ordered another f tequila followed by a cerveza chasers, “I bought my green card on the black market with the help of my friend, Shaquifah. You met Shaquifah last week.” “You mean,” Luke asked, “the AfricanAmerican woman?” Consuela burped a cloud of Jose Cuervo, “I think she prefers to be called ‘Shaquifah: the black lesbian’.” “So, Luke,” Melanie placed a hand on his arm, “because I am a lesbian, I therefore like to meddle in the lesbian affairs of my lesbian friends and, with your help Luke, along with Consuela, I plan to bring two lesbians, Heidi and Suzette, back together.” “You mean the fat lesbian with the “I k.d.” tattoo?” “Si,” Consuela nodded, “that’s Heidi.” “Suzette is the hot lesbian.” Melanie wrapped a napkin around the beer bottle, “She’s the lesbian that stormed out in the golden tight sequin cocktail dress. According to Natalie, your next door neighbor; Suzette is now looking to date a man.” Consuela gasped, “Oh no! But she is a lesbian. She’s not supposed to like men. Men are evil and stupid!” “Hey now,” Luke objected, “I’m a man and I date men all the time.” “Then you, of all people, should know just how truly evil and irresponsible they are.” “I think they’re hot.” Consuela scoffed in horror, “I think men are selfish and they have disgusting genitalia; all fleshy and stocked with veins. It’s heinous how they use it to make decisions. I’d much rather be penetrated by a pair of knobby fingers mottled with dirt from the garden.” “Yes.” Melanie tapped her beer bottle on Consuela’s shot of tequila. “As a lesbian, I agree with that one hundred percent.” “I thought Suzette dumped Heidi last week.” Luke said, “She seemed pretty upset when she left Natalie’s place. Maybe they’re better off without each other.” “You’re not a lesbian, Luke.” Melanie looked at him with pity, “You prefer the penis and there’s no way you could ever possibly understand the true nature of sensuous Sapphic physical expression. You see, Luke, you homosexual men just fuck whatever hole bends over for you but we lesbians, we prefer to be seduced with emotions and love.” Just at that moment, Suzette walked into the front of Blake’s. At the same time, Heidi stepped

out of the bathroom and, in a blinding rush that of course makes no sense; these two lesbians saw one another and Blake’s fell silent. “Oh dear Jesus,” Luke raised his hand to summon the bartender, “I’m gonna need another drink.” Heidi, dressed in baggy flannel and dirty jeans, melted when she saw her, “Suzette! Please bring me your muffin!” “Stay away from me, you crazy dyke bitch!” Suzette glared at her, “You’re deluded, Heidi, and you should be kept away from knives and plastic lawn furniture.” “But Suzette,” Heidi whimpered, “I love you and I want you back and I know you love me.” “That was in the past, Heidi, and now I think you need to be institutionalized; only professionals can help you now.” Suzette then walked up to Melanie the Muff-Diver, “You c---!” Suzette slapped Melanie hard right across the face, “You invited me here under false pretenses!” Suddenly Heidi came out of nowhere, she lunged for Melanie and grabbed her shoulders, “You lay off my lesbian, you bitch! Suzette is mine!” Heidi head-butted the Muff-Diver and Melanie fell to the floor. Heidi smashed the bottle of Stella Artois and, blinded by her love for Suzette, she spoke furiously: “As God as my witness, I vow to win you back, Suzette, or I swear on all that is holy, I will DIE trying!” Suzette stormed out of Blake’s in a flash of red and Heidi said, “If I can’t have Suzette, than no one can!” Heidi rushed out on to Tenth Street in hot pursuit of her ex-girlfriend. Back at the bar, Luke turned to Consuela, “Should we, like, help Melanie up off the floor?” “Nah,” Consuela shook her head. “Melanie is Natalie’s problem.” “Oh right.” Luke looked down at the Muff-Diver slumped in a heap under a stool, “I forgot Melanie is Natalie’s lesbian lover.”

Tune in next week for another installment of “DYKE vs. DYKE” in EPISODE THIRTY-EIGHT: “N is for Natalie” “ATLANTA A to Z” would LOVE to hear from you! QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS: We welcome your feedback! Send us an email at: AtlantaAtoZ@DavidAtlanta.com AND AtlantaAtoZ@Gmail.com

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ETCETERA

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Pics by Kristin Malone


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Get Lucky Online

By Jordan Wright

Manhunt Models Debunk Myths

W

hat makes for a good online dating profile? Is it true that ‘skin is in’ on the web? Are washboard abs and a tight dairy air required to score some cyber nookie? We posed some of the biggest dating profile myths to the boys who know best: the new models of the leading gay hook-up site on the web, Manhunt. MYTH: Professional Photos Attract More Men to Your Profile. Jake: That’s false. Home camera pics will do just fine. I actually prefer iPhone and BlackBerry pics. They’re grittier and more real. MYTH: You Have To Show Your Face. Tyler: I like to think I have a pretty good face. Still, I find when I post a body shot, or even snaps of my feet, my profile generates more interest than when I post my face. It’s important to have a face image handy, though, because most guys will ask to see it in order to seal the deal. MYTH: Size Matters. Jake: Are we being honest? I’d say that myth is true, especially on Manhunt. C’mon, most guys on Manhunt are looking for a pitcher, not a belly itcher. MYTH: It’s a Buyers Market For Tops. Robbie: Definitely true. Bottoms outnumber tops for sure. Luckily, though, there are plenty of inches to go around online. I certainly haven’t noticed a shortage. MYTH: You should smile in photos. Daryl: Nope. I find a brooding stare into the camera will intrigue the most guys. Smiling sends the message that you’re likely annoyingly happy and clingy. MYTH: The Greater Your Age, The Less Interest Your Profile Will Attract. Robbie: Sad but true. Most gay guys look younger than their age anyway so I always tell my older friends to knock a few years off their profile.

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MYTH: You Can’t Find Mr. Right Online. Daryl: The biggest myth. There are plenty of guys looking for partners online. If you’re one of them, just take all of our advice and do the opposite.


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Protect Your Monster

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By Richard Marshall


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Bitch Session You call yourself a PROFESSIONAL. Then how about returning people’s calls? It’s rude & elitist & like with ANY profession even you will reap what you sew.... Don’t be too proud of yourself. I only said you had a big penis so you would keep your erection. Yes, that is an orange in my beer. Drink your Appletini and STFU. I can’t believe you blew that guy in your car! How about you rinse the taste of foreigner out of your mouth before you try to apologize?

It isn’t you. It’s your cats. It is a week later and the lesbian is still talking! Bitch, go away or shut up! Omg! It is a miracle the lesbian has gone mute.

FYI, it’s bad when you have on more makeup than your fag hag...Jus’ sayin’... Stop trying to pass fat off as muscle on your upper body. Your ass gives it away. If more than one person is in the bathroom at the bar, then it probably means they are busy, so for the bitch banging on the door, go find a bucket somewhere. Whatever happened to people driving a piece of crap car that they bought with their own money versus a Mercedes that their daddy bought? I’d rather drive a piece of crap then be stuck up some rich old man’s ass all the time just for his money.

I wish people would stop backing in to parking spots. It takes twice as long, you’re in the way and you suck at backing up anyway. Swing your ass in and get out of your damn car already.

This town is full of nothing but a bunch of sissies. To the diva at Plaza Midtown, thanks for the cream pie! My car may be older but it is still pretty. If you are too ignorant to park between the lines, I’m not so protective of my car that I won’t hit yours as hard as I can while I try to get out. Learn to park. Or at least give a damn about the person you’re parking next to because YOU are the one that will pay. I wish they had the nicer gyms in town like the ones OTP that is where all the cute boys are. It’s funny how some people are more concerned about someone else’s life that is consumes their own life.

I wish I could find me a husband here or even a wife; hell, I guess I would take either at this point. I don’t believe we have to be friends just because you used to suck my dick. I think there should be a law governing public eating! I need you to not make ridiculous noises or let your damn sub conquer the entire table!

Gotta Bitch?

? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? ? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch?

Text it to 404.969.BTCH(2824) 78 davidatlanta


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David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 632