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Wednesday 23rd - Saturday 26th November 2016 This amateur production of Cash on Delivery is presented by special arrangement with SAMUEL FRENCH LIMITED.

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Cash on Delivery by Michael Cooney

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Cash on D liv ry A farce by Michael Cooney 23rd - 26th November 2016

From the Director Cash on Delivery has all the elements of a traditional British farce – plus a few more. So prepare yourselves for an evening of lies, lies and more lies, mistaken identities, misunderstandings, dead bodies, cross dressing, confusion and rebellious washing machines. Written by Michael Cooney, the son of that master of farce, Ray Cooney, this play’s ingenious construction presents fraud at its funniest. Without the knowledge of his wife, Linda, but with the aid of his equally unprincipled Uncle George, Eric Swan has collected thousands of pounds by making fraudulent benefit claims on behalf of an army of fictional lodgers and their extended families. As the play opens, Eric, having decided that it has all got a bit out of hand, is trying to extricate himself by telling the authorities that one of

his creations – Norman Bassett – has died. However, cancelling Norman’s benefits proves harder than he imagines, and everything starts to unravel when the real Norman, who actually is Eric’s lodger, opens the door to an inspector from the Department for Work and Pensions.
 Ray Cooney once remarked that the difference between farce and comedy is that comedy is about unreal people in real situations, whereas farce is about real people in crazy situations. I’m not sure how real this colourful cast of characters can claim to be, but the situations they find themselves in are certainly crazy enough to produce an evening full of laughter. We hope that you will enjoy Cash on Delivery as much as we have enjoyed putting it on. Helena Gomm

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Cash on D liv ry A farce by Michael Cooney 23rd - 26th November 2016

Cash on Delivery was first produced in London at the Whitehall Theatre on 18th September 1996. The Director was the author’s father and famous comedy playwright, Ray Cooney. This production of Cash on Delivery is presented by special arrangement with Samuel French Ltd.

The Cast Linda Swan Eric Swan Norman Bassett Mr Jenkins Uncle George Sally Chessington Dr Chapman Augustus Forbright Ms Cowper Brenda Dixon Mr Zanussi

Sally Williams Glynn Williams Craig Robb David Cradduck Tim Conway Katie Hinds Richard Perkins Paddy Roadnight Jan Conway Claire Smith Paul McTaggart

The Production Team Director Stage Manager Lighting/sound Washing machine wrangler Props Prompt Set design
 Set build
 Décor Photography
 Programme/poster design Illustration Front of House

Helena Gomm Angela Ledsham Graham Arnott, Jamie Herdman Graham Arnott Marilyn Weston Rosie Reay Tim Day Tim Day and team Henrietta Hellard Alison Carter, Craig Robertson David Cradduck Ian Lock Guy Nicholson Pauline Cornter, Sue Herdman and team

Synopsis of Scenes The action takes place in the living room of Eric and Linda Swan’s house, 344 Chilton Road, just off the Mile End Road in East London. Time: the present – just after 9am on a windy October morning. There are two Acts of approximately one hour each with a 20 minute interval between them, during which refreshments will be served. The action is continuous.

We would like to thank all those who assisted with this production and to those who lent props, costumes and furniture, especially The Flower Pots Inn for the loan of the sofa, and Doug Smith for the hospital porter’s tunic. Please turn off all mobile phones and keep the aisles clear at all times. Please refrain from flash photography and note that video or audio recording of the performance is prohibited.

From the Chairman Welcome to The Cheriton Players’ November production, Cash on Delivery. If the gales of laughter in rehearsals are anything to go by, you are in for a real treat. We’ve thoroughly enjoyed preparing for this week’s performances and would like to extend our huge thanks to Helena Gomm for her vision and patience as director. This is Helena’s first time in the director’s chair here in Cheriton but we hope it won’t be her last. Thanks also to all of the backstage crew and the front of house team – we couldn’t do any of it without them. Plans for 2017 are well under way and I would like to encourage you to keep abreast of all our news on our website

which is now mobile friendly. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter – follow @cheritonplayers. Look out for our Variety Show 22-25 March and Murder Mystery on Sat 17 June. We are always on the lookout for new members, and if you are interested in joining, please do get in touch via the website or by emailing So, I leave you in the hands of Eric Swan, con artist extraordinaire and this hilarious comedy full of mistaken identities, slamming doors and a con that spirals out of control. Have a great evening. Marilyn Weston

Cheriton Players is a small friendly theatre group always keen to encourage new members to join us onstage, backstage and front of house. If you are interested in joining the Players, please get in touch through the website or by email to You can also join our mailing list through the website to receive our regular newsletters and details of future productions. We would love to hear from you!


Helena Gomm (Director)

This is Helena’s first outing as a director for Cheriton Players, although she has directed productions of Neville’s Island and Night of January 16th for West Meon Theatre. She is more regularly seen on the Cheriton stage – whenever there is a part for a grumpy old battleaxe. Her most recent appearances were as Lady Julia in Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime, for which she was nominated as Best Actress in a Comedy in the Echo Curtain Call awards, and Mary in Third Week in August.

Craig Robb (Norman Bassett)

After missing out on tickets to An Inspector Calls, Craig was keen to join Cheriton Players as it seemed to be the surest way of getting a seat! He started acting as a teenager in a local company in Weymouth, where he played the lead in Pure and Organic and Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol before taking a 20-year break to concentrate on his career. Craig rekindled his love of drama playing The Rev Rupert Bingham in Oh Clarence!, took part in the Great Cheriton Variety Show (in which he played the hilarious Claude Body in the melodrama) and then went on to play the lead and title role in Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime, which he says was certainly his most demanding role so far. Having risen to that challenge he tackled an altogether different character in the form of Cooper’s ‘flat-roofed’ son-in-law, Peter, in A Month of Sundays. Craig has also written a musical and a one act play – Grave Concerns – which was performed recently as a rehearsed reading.

Sally Williams (Linda Swan)

Although she now lives in West Meon, Sally was born and brought up in Cheriton and first joined the Players nearly 30 years ago when she played a rabbit in The Wind in the Willows. This is her second production for Cheriton since 2010 when she played Jacqueline in Don’t Dress for Dinner. Other previous appearances include Outside Edge, Aunt Sally in Worzel Gummidge, She Stoops to Conquer, The Late Mr Larrington, And Then There Were None and Tons of Money. Recently for Cheriton she appeared as the misunderstood sister, Liz, in the outdoor production of Third Week in August. Other local acting includes roles at West Meon Theatre. Husband Glynn, who plays her onstage husband in this play, has also appeared often on the Cheriton Stage but hardly ever have they appeared together!

David Cradduck (George Jenkins)

David’s Cheriton credits include title/lead roles in Charley’s Aunt, Wind in the Willows, Worzel Gummidge, Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime (1994), Pride and Prejudice, Outside Edge, The Importance of Being Earnest, An Inspector Calls, Oh Clarence! and A Month of Sundays. Other productions include Oliver! (as Fagin), The Real Inspector Hound/Black Comedy, Jungle Fantasy, The Noble Spaniard, Out of Order, A Christmas Carol, Table Manners, Murder in Cheriton!, ‘Allo ‘Allo, The Ghost Train, Ten Times Table, Alice, Murdered to Death, Season’s Greetings, A Bolt from the Blue and Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime (2015). He won the 2015 Curtain Call Award for ‘Best Actor in a Comedy’ for his portrayal of Neville in Third Week in August. He is also a member of RAODS and Maskers Theatre Co. where credits include Noises Off, Under Milkwood, Mikado, Relative Values, Tom Jones, Shadowlands and Far from the Madding Crowd. He has directed three Cheriton shows, including Alan Ayckbourn’s Confusions in 2000.

Glynn Williams (Eric Swan)

It is great to see Glynn back on the Cheriton stage after a long break. He is a much sought after actor locally! He has appeared in a variety of Cheriton roles over the years, including Freddie in My Fair Lady, Tony in She Stoops to Conquer, George Pigden in Out of Order and as the March Hare in the 50th anniversary production of Alice (son, Alex, was the Dormouse). His appearances with West Meon Theatre include Cider with Rosie, Twelfth Night, Neville’s Island, A Child’s Christmas in Wales and, most recently, The Cherry Orchard. He has also appeared in various productions with Lion & Unicorn Players in roles such as Caliban in The Tempest, Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing and Weinberl in On the Razzle. When he is not acting Glynn enjoys writing and producing music.

Tim Conway (Uncle George)

Tim made his debut as the unenviable Bob Cratchit in A Christmas Carol, took part in Parallel Lines, our ‘play in a day’ and then the part of Nasuh in The Champion of Paribanou. He helped backstage with ‘Allo ‘Allo and also appeared as a German soldier. He played Sir Percy Shorter in Habeas Corpus, unusual baddy Herbert Price in The Ghost Train and the annoyingly pedantic Donald in Ten Times Table. He says his most demanding role to date was the Reverend James Martin in Clerical Errors. More recently Tim was stage manager for An Inspector Calls and appeared as the bumbling Dr Simmons in Oh Clarence!, and as Lemuel the Gypsy in The Great Cheriton Variety Show.

Katie joined the Cheriton Players in 2014 but her first role on stage with them was over a year later as Sybil in Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime, playing opposite her real-life husband Craig in the title role. She also appeared in Night of January 16th with the West Meon Theatre, directed by this evening’s director Helena Gomm, and many years prior to this Katie’s acting credits were with St Anne’s Convent School in Southampton, Rosalie Woollcombe in Winchester and the Liverpool University Drama Society. She is also an active member of the Cheriton Singers.

Jan Conway (Ms Cowper)

Jan joined the Players in the late 80s and helped with backstage for several productions before ‘retiring’ when her children were small. She ventured back on stage in Cheriton in A Christmas Carol, having been a regular performer in many University productions. Jan played the short-sighted Ruth in Table Manners, Mable Labelled in Murder in Cheriton!, René’s French maid Mimi in ‘Allo ‘Allo, surpassed herself as Lady Rumpers in Habeas Corpus, Philippa in Ten Times Table, and Miss Pearson in Clerical Errors. She played a variety of parts for A Bolt from the Blue, including an American newsreader, and was Dame Daphne Winkworth in Oh Clarence! Aside from appearing on stage, Jan was also responsible for the wonderful costumes in the outdoor production Alice and has taken on the extra burden of Producer and/or Assistant Stage Manager for several recent productions.

Richard Perkins (Dr Chapman)

Richard’s early acting career consisted of semi-scripted New Year Mummers Plays (an excuse for a pub-crawl around the New Forest). Early Cheriton roles were in Cat on the Fiddle, and Alastair Spenlow in Move over Mrs Markham. His many characters have included vicars, butlers, and – yes, doctors! He appeared in the Cheriton 2000 Revue, several parts in Confusions and The Real Inspector Hound. Richard was seen in Out of Order, Table Manners, ‘Allo ‘Allo, Habeas Corpus, The Ghost Train and Don’t Dress for Dinner. More recently he was Bernard in Seasons Greetings, grumpy old laird Sir Gregory ParsloeParsloe in Oh Clarence! and took on the major role of Baines, the Butler, in Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime. When not acting or selling/planting trees, Richard can be found on Amazon as the co-author of a delightfully witty book on cricket entitled Not Out First Ball. Claire Smith (Brenda Dixon)

Claire has been involved in theatre in one form or another since the age of five when she started learning to dance. As a result she soon started joining musical theatre groups. Since returning from University, Claire has been busy with WMOS (Winchester Musicals and Opera Society), mainly taking parts in the chorus and as a dancer. In recent years she has taken roles such as Hebe in HMS Pinafore and Lady Ella in Patience. Claire was involved in the Great Cheriton Variety Show, mostly singing in various roles – as a cat, posh lady and in the chorus. She also recently appeared as Nellie in Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime, her first appearance in a non-musical production since secondary school and recently she played the challenging role of Julia, the daughter in A Month of Sundays, as well as taking part in the rehearsed reading of Grave Concerns.

Paddy Roadnight (Augustus Forbright)

Paddy made his debut for Cheriton Players after a long career with other local groups, as Beach the Butler in Oh Clarence! He also acted as chairman in last year’s Great Cheriton Variety Show. Locally he has appeared in various productions, from his debut as King Herod aged eight at St Lucy’s Convent Medstead, to many years with the Matchmakers Drama Group in Preston Candover, usually as the villain. He has produced and directed Music Hall, Variety and Gala nights for Matchmakers and ACTS (Alresford Community Theatre Society). He says he loved playing the stoical role of Badger in the ACTS open air production of Wind in the Willows and appeared with TOADS (The Old Alresford Drama Society) in TOADS at the Front.

Paul McTaggart (Mr Zanussi)

Paul is a keen member of Cheriton Players having joined a few years ago to help backstage for Blithe Spirit and ‘got the bug’ for all things theatrical. Although normally backstage – his roles have included Stage Manager, Assistant Stage Manager and Props Manager – Paul appeared as the Red King in the Players’ outdoor production of Alice and as Police Sgt. Evans in Oh Clarence! Paul is also a keen amateur film cameraman and has been responsible for many of the promotional videos published to promote our shows.


Katie Hinds (Sally Chessington)

Past Productions A Month of Sundays March 2016 Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime Nov 2015 Third Week in August June 2015 The Great Cheriton Variety Show April 2015 Oh Clarence! May 2014 An Inspector Calls Dec 2013 A Bolt from the Blue April 2013 Season’s Greetings Nov 2012 Murdered to Death May 2012 Clerical Errors Nov 2011 Alice June 2011 Blithe Spirit Nov 2010 Don’t Dress For Dinner April 2010 Together4Christmas December 2009 Ten Times Table April/May 2009 The Ghost Train November 2008 Habeas Corpus April 2008 Allo’ Allo’ November 2007 Murder in Cheriton! May 2007 The Champion of Paribanou January 2007 Parallel Lines November 2006 Table Manners April 2006 A Christmas Carol December 2005 Out of Order April 2005 Idol Talent January 2005 The Noble Spaniard November 2004 Jungle Fantasy May 2004 The Real Inspector Hound & Black Comedy November 2003 Oliver! January 2003 Don’t Utter a Note May 2002 Forty – Not Out! December 2001 Murder in Play March 2001 Confusions November 2000 An Evening’s Entertainment March 2000 Move over Mrs Markham November 1999 Party Piece November 1998 After the Ball is Over April 1998 And then there were None November 1997 Cat on the Fiddle April 1997 Love’s a Luxury November 1996 She Stoops to Conquer April 1996 Key for Two November 1995

‘Bless ’em All’ May 1995 Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime Nov 1994 Pardon Me, Prime Minister April 1994 Variety Music Hall November 1993 Murder in Company April 1993 Worzel Gummidge November 1992 Outside Edge April 1992 My Fair Lady November 1991 Two One-Act Plays April 1991 Lock up Your Daughters November 1990 Haul for the Shore May 1990 Best of Old Time Music Hall February 1990 Tons of Money November 1989 The Late Mr. Larrington April 1989 Merry Christmas Music Hall December 1988 Man Alive April 1988 The Wind in the Willows December 1987 I’ll Get My Man May 1987 Music Hall Jan/Feb 1987 Laughter in the Dark December 1986 Salad Days April 1986 The Proof of the Poison December 1985 Gala Music Hall September 1985 Charley’s Aunt May 1985 Music Hall February 1985 Small Hotel November 1984 Beyond a Joke May 1984 Music Hall February 1984 Play On! November 1983 Present Laughter May 1983 Old Time Music Hall February 1983 And So To Bed November 1982 Here We Come Gathering April 1982 Music Hall February 1982 Book of the Month November 1981 Pride and Prejudice May 1981 Music Hall Jan/Feb 1981 The Full Treatment November 1981 Fish Out of Water May 1980 Music Hall February 1980 A Friend Indeed November 1979 Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime April 1979 Music Hall January 1970 Jam Tomorrow November 1978

White Sheep of the Family Old Time Music Hall

April 1978 Jan/Feb 1978

Love Birds

November 1977

Running Riot

May 1977

Jubilee Revue

January 1977

Your Obedient Servant November 1976 Person Unknown

April 1976

Old Time Music Hall

January 1976

The Importance of Being Earnest

November 1975

Wolf’s Clothing

April 1975

Old Time Music Hall

Jan/Feb 1975

Love’s a Luxury

November 1974

Sailor Beware

April 1974

Old Time Music Hall

Jan 1974

See How They Run

November 1973

Doctor in the House

April 1973

Old Time Music Hall

January 1973

Quiet Weekend

November 1972

Who Lies There

April 1972

Old Time Music Hall

January 1972

Pools Paradise

November 1971

Something to Hide

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Old Time Music Hall

January 1971

Beside the Seaside

November 1970

Trap for a Lonely Man Man Alive

February 1970 November 1969


May 1969

Sleeping Partnership Dear Delinquent

February 1969 November 1968

Goodnight, Mrs Puffin

May 1968

A Pig in a Poke

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Wanted One Bod

November 1967

Still Life & Speaking Terms

July 1967

Flat Spin

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The Happiest Days of Your Life

February 1967

See How They Run

October 1966

The Bride and the Batchelor April 1966 Breath of Spring

November 1965

Blithe Spirit

November 1964

Pools Paradise

May 1964

One Man Banned

November 1963

Haul for the Shore

November 1962

Friends and Neighbours Here We Come Gathering

March 1962 Nov 1961

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Profile for David Cradduck

Cash on Delivery – November 2016  

The official programme for Cheriton Players' production of Cash on Delivery by Michael Cooney.

Cash on Delivery – November 2016  

The official programme for Cheriton Players' production of Cash on Delivery by Michael Cooney.


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