Grandads give hope when life is low
Grandads are a place where we can go
Grandads are honest
Grandads are true
Grandads are precious
My Grandad is you
Grandad reaching up to meet the sky.
My beautiful Sarah, she was my guide, my mentor and my inspiration for the 60 years we spent together.
Idedicate this collection of quotations to my late wife Sarah, who had the most amazing intuition of what to say and do in any situation. I owe much of the person I have become to her wise guidance and council.
My sincere thanks are due to Gillian, Amanda and all those friends and family who have participated in taking the expressions that constantly revolve around in my mind and turning them into the messages I want to leave behind. Hopefully they will answer many of the questions raised when one wonders “ What Grandad was like? ”
It is very improbable that anyone will agree with all my opinions but I hope that everyone will share some of them. On those that you disagree, please take time to consider why I came to that view. It may widen your appreciation of why we do not always come to the same conclusion.
Every now and then, you read or hear or even think something yourself that strikes you as deeply profound and you say it over and over again in your mind and soon it becomes an opinion that you want to live by. You then want to tell everyone around you about it, and suddenly it becomes something that Granddad often says.
I hope this book of quotations, some of which are my own and some which have been borrowed and modified, helps to define who I am and who I strive to be. I would like to believe that I have succeeded more than I have failed. I hope that future generations of my family will find the time to read and share the values and, in some instances, adopt these thoughts and aims into their own lives.
They are, of course, perspectives from my own upbringing, the career path I took and the many people I have been fortunate enough to meet along the way. People from varying backgrounds will most likely see life lessons quite differently but I still hope that many of them are common to all of us.
Your children need your presence more than your presents.
Parents’ behaviour often creates the norm for their children to follow.
Don’t be over-ambitious for your children; just help them realise their own dreams and reach their own horizons with your guidance.
One of the most valuable lessons to learn when you are young is that life is very often not fair. Sadly, it does not often even itself out.
If you can make a chore a habit, it no longer seems a chore.
Try not to be cynical when you are young; there is plenty of time for that when you are old.
Older people are not smarter than young people, just more experienced.
It is so important to dream when you are young; when conventional wisdom turns out to be wrong, magic can often happen.
My father taught me that our family does not do ‘unwell’.
I wish I had had a better relationship with my father; we both lost so much. Try not to let history repeat itself.
I remember life being pretty good 50 years ago. Apart from technology, I doubt whether humanity has progressed since; in fact, it might have gone backwards.
Do what you love and love what you do.
You may never ever be the best at anything, but you can always be the best you can be at everything.
The only time that success is placed before work is in the dictionary.
If it is your turn to step up to the plate, give it your best, don’t shy away and hide.
Never underestimate the power of belief. It is surprising how often it defies logic.
Dreams are very important; you cannot do it if you cannot imagine it.
If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep walking.
I wish I was as optimistic about the future that my grandchildren and their children will inherit as my parents and grandparents were for me. I so much want to be wrong.
I’ve never been a big admirer of just making the effort, but I do accept that we will never make any progress without effort. It is a tricky one.
The people who make the most progress are the ones who know when to stop working on the current project and pass it to someone else to finish and move on to the next project.
Life is not about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
A worthwhile job is never beneath you.
You will never reach maturity until you have made mistakes and learnt from them.
When you look in the mirror and say that is the person I want to be and no one else, you have it about right.
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
If you enjoy your own company; you will never be alone.
Too often there is no right or wrong, just different.
Be proud of yourself because if you’re not, why should anyone else be.
It’s not what you don’t know that creates issues, it’s what you believe you know, but incorrectly, that creates the most problems.
In my experience luck does not always even out. If I had to choose I would rather be born lucky than talented.
To listen to some people you would believe that their lives are full of major disasters and minor triumphs when in reality it is so often the reverse.
I would rather not worry and be right 99% of the time than worry all of the time and be right 1% of the time.
A mistake that makes you humble is far better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.
Always be thankful for what you have; most people in the world have far less.
Be careful what you wish for; it may just be granted.
Always be prepared to have an opinion but always accept that you may be wrong.
What defines you is how everyone else perceives you: not how you see yourself.
I have learned to never say never; I have been proved wrong too often.
Always be proud of who you are and where you came from.
Never feel you need to apologise for your ancestors. If they failed, just strive to do better.
No one else can truly suffer your pain or experience your joy.
If I have to choose between poor and happy or rich and miserable, I’ll pick the former.
Measure yourself by what you should have accomplished with your ability.
Respect is one of the greatest virtues and kindness comes a close second. A sense of entitlement is one of the least.
People worry that we are destroying the planet. I think the planet is well-capable of taking care of itself with or without the human race.
Once you convince yourself that you are a victim and that society owes you, the road ahead is paved with unhappiness.
If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting.
Fear is born of uncertainty and nourished by pessimism.
It is amazing how often the human body is capable of healing itself without any help. Your body will normally tell you when it needs extra help.
My generation has done everything it can to eliminate death whatever the cost and consequences. It is my belief that generations at some time in the future will conclude that this was not a good idea. The population is already too large. We should not let it keep growing and growing.
The only person who really suffers from you getting angry is yourself.
I do believe that I have been privileged to live in a Golden Generation in this country which may not be repeated for many generations to come.
So many of us started with so little and finished with so much and had fun all the way getting there.
Through ignorance and with the help of science I believe that my generation has been the most selfish, irresponsible and inconsiderate generation of all time. I am sure that historians in the future will be very critical of how self-serving we have been.
I have never seen a life choice which comes close, over the long term, to the family unit for continued happiness and prosperity.
The greatest gift that grandparents can give to their grandchildren is the benefit of experience.
Friends are important but family comes first.
Grandchildren are the greatest gift that God ever bestowed on mankind.
Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.
Grandparents are more protective of their grandchildren than parents are of their children.
Enjoy each moment spent with your children and grandchildren, all too soon they grow wings and fly away.
Never lose track of your family. They should always be the first and last people to turn to in time of need and you should be the first and last for them.
Family feuds are so sad and can very rarely be justified. If you are involved take it as your responsibility to come up with a solution that will end it.
Always go over the top for family.
The real measure of generosity is not how much you give but how much you had to give up to give it.
A gift to a friend is never wasted.
Don’t believe that the only people that matter are those close to you; everybody matters.
I’ve never met an Irishman I didn’t like.
Be generous of what you have in both time and assets to those less fortunate. You will be a better person for it.
You make more people happy when you say yes than when you say no.
Be kind to your colleagues when you pass them on the way up; hope they will be equally kind to you when you pass them on the way down.
It is a popular saying these days that you should be yourself and not what you think other people want you to be; however, I see no advantage in being what other people do not want you to be.
No one enjoys being taken for granted. Always go out of your way to show your appreciation of anything and everything that is done for you.
Say yes as often as you can.
I’ve usually found that those people who are most vocal about racism are the ones that seem most happy to perpetuate it.
I’ve never been in favour of categorising people, but if we have to, I would rather categorise on the basis of type of person. To me a white criminal is much closer to a black criminal than a black criminal is to a black intellectual and vice versa. To categorise on the basis of colour or race debases the whole concept of humanity.
It would be a giant leap forward if we could eliminate “state your race” on all government documentation.
I have great difficulty in reconciling the lowering of standards in what we are shown and what we say to each other in this day and age with the new woke culture which forbids the use of many words or phrases (which have been part of our vocabulary for centuries), just because a few people have now decided they are offensive.
I think it is sad that so many people nowadays are not proud of their past, despite its failings.
For all of us, whether we walk old paths or blaze new trails, friends remain important.
Fairness should always be one of your prime aims throughout life. If you act fairly, you will always have many friends and you will always have their respect.
There was a day when minorities were suppressed; now they appear to be center stage.
When I was young, we used to reserve our hatred for people of other countries; we now appear to hate each other more from our own country.
Very strange!
I’m not into gender neutral. I liked it better when women were proud to be women and men, men.
No good deed goes unpunished: not of course totally true but it is scary how often it happens.
Avoid gloating when you are right: enjoy the moment inwardly.
The other person invariably knows you are right and does not need to be told.
A wry smile never goes amiss.
A dog is the only creature on the planet that affords companionship, protection, obedience and unconditional love. No other creature comes close.
I’ve never believed in selling anything to friends or family; the “what ifs” for me are too numerous to take the risk.
You should never say in company that anyone works or has worked for you; you should always refer to your employees as working with you. Anyone working for you is a privilege you have been fortunate enough to enjoy and you have usually benefited from.
How much attention should society give to minorities of any section of the community; more than the average person; the same as the average person; or level with their share of the population? Our view has changed dramatically since many sections of the community have brought them to the centre of attention. Is this right or not?
I so much admire a person who is humble just as much as I dislike a person who is arrogant.
Truth and honesty are very important but Do no harm is also important.
I do believe that there are some sins that can never be forgiven.
I do not believe that you can control evil thoughts; what you can control is whether you give in to them. I admire a person who resists an evil thought more than a person who does not have that thought in the first place.
No one is born prejudiced; where it exists, parents have a lot to answer for.
I’ve never been totally convinced that “Free Will” exists. I do believe that one day scientists will prove it one way or the other.
There are good lies and bad lies: good lies benefit other people, bad lies only benefit yourself.
Life’s most urgent question is, what are you doing for others. It was a sad day when “respect and responsibility” were replaced with “it is my right”.
I believe meanness to be the eighth deadly sin.
Too often there is no right and wrong; just different.
To deliberately take advantage of someone else’s generosity is one of the most deplorable characteristics that anyone can have.
Pomposity is one of the most unacceptable traits a person can have.
We rarely seem to right a wrong and allow the pendulum to stop at the bottom; we seem unable or unwilling to stop it swinging up the other side.
I’ve never believed that tomorrow is predestined. It is only what you and those around you choose to make it.
I would like to believe in God but I have not been able to convince myself that he exists.
I might have a better chance of believing in God if religion was not so hereditary.
Having faith is critical to wellbeing, but what you have faith in is so often a personal choice.
My concept of “afterlife” is the creation of children and grandchildren et al. They continue with part of me intact.
It is a sad fact that as education progresses, belief in God diminishes; humanity has not benefited from this change.
I have always struggled to appreciate the difference between forgiveness and tolerance.
If you make a solemn vow, you should keep it no matter what.
Love alone will not guarantee a smooth road ahead; compatibility and shared values will.
Opposites may attract but they rarely endure.
I believe that 10% of all marriages will be very happy and 10% will not. The rest of us have to work at it.
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
What I find disappointing, is that despite society significantly changing it’s attitude in allowing young couples so much more freedom to experience what marred life will be like before they marry, divorce rates which should have dramatically reduced, have continued to rise.
It is so important to have a reasonable amount of fun time in your life.
I believe your body heals faster when you are having fun and your mindset returns to normality quicker.
If you are blessed with a good sense of humour, you will have a lot of joy in your life.
Laughing is one of the best tonics and what’s more, it is free.
I’ve often wondered whether the euphoria of winning is worth the misery of the other side losing. It seems it has to be this way but sometimes I feel there could be a better way to achieve personal goals.
To winter in the warmth in a stress-free environment is one of the best life choices Sarah and I ever made.
Anyone can have my share of cold wet weather, anytime.
My idea of the perfect gift is something you really like, you could easily afford and yet you would never buy it for yourself.
How is it that Mother Nature got the creation of food so wrong?
Nearly all the foods that you really like to eat are the foods that you should avoid.
Communication has not been completed when you have finished speaking; it is only complete when the person you are talking to gives feedback that they fully understand what you have said to them.
Words become more meaningful dependent upon the amount of passion with which they are said. The reverse is also true.
Watch the expressions of the person you are talking to; when they appear that they are not listening it is time to stop talking.
It is rare that anyone is as interested in what you are saying as you are.
Don’t talk for more than your share of the conversation; accept that other people may be more interesting than you.
Upstaging people in conversations is one of the fastest ways to lose friends; save your story for another time.
Sometimes just listening gives as much comfort as saying the right thing.
Gain every bit of information and advice you can; then make your own decision.
If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well.
Any worthwhile job is never beneath you.
Few people get to the top who didn’t start at the bottom.
No one is better than you or worse than you. They are just different.
You do not make your own luck but you should make the most of it when it happens.
Once I realised that virtually every aspect in life follows a bell curve pattern, I have been far less surprised by the small number of extreme views that some people hold.
AVERAGE
Extremists Extremists
The grass usually appears greener on the other side of the fence but it usually is not.
If someone sounds confident it is amazing how many of us will readily believe that person. It is always a good idea to get a second opinion.
Worry never robs tomorrow of it’s sorrows; It only saps today of its joy.
Trust in the goodness of people and just accept the few times that they will let you down.
Never worry too much about missing that once in a life time opportunity; there is usually another opportunity just as good around the next corner and on occasions better.
Everyone should have someone to talk to about anything and everything.
Sarah always taught me that when you have achieved your objective, learn to stop talking. Wise words.
Life is what happens when you are making other plans.
It is rarely instance that drives you crazy, only quantum . ie. Not the once anyone does something but the number of times they do it.
A broken clock is correct twice a day; so are gloom and doom forecasters. They are right every now and then but it does not make them good forecasters.
Everyone should enjoy the experience of winning and the pain of losing; only then can you appreciate how other people feel.
I have always been a believer in the “What If” strategy before taking any significant decision. You don’t always follow the conclusion because the heart often controls the head but at least you are aware of the risks.
I sometimes wish computers made many of the decisions in life; when emotion comes into play, computers can take so many more relevant facts into account.
Where people are emotionally involved in the decision, they too often do not take into account the overall consequences.
Never speculate with assets you cannot afford to lose.
Contrary to what convential wisdom would have you believe, I have reached the conclusion that most hosts are pleased when their guests are a few minutes late.
Always cover your debts with assets you can readily lay your hands on.
Always tell your boss the bad news as soon as you can. Good news can always wait.
Never speculate with other peoples’ money.
I’ve always had a tendency to “panic early” in business; waiting and hoping that everything will turn out OK, is a very risky strategy.
I believe in eliminating stress but only when it is negative; passion is a positive stress and is to be encouraged at all times.
There is little more satisfying than completing a project successfully and standing back and admiring a job well done.
Socialism is a wonderful concept. It is just a shame that we are incapable of making it work.
In a democracy we only seem to have found two alternatives; Capitalism where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, or Socialism where those in control get more power and the governed lose their freedoms. There must be a better system out there.
We have established an excellent way to identify honest fair and unbiased people. It is called “jury selection”. It is unfortunate that we have not found a way so far to use those principles in the selection of our representatives in parliament.
I am a believer in time limits for politicians before they have had time to build up an impenetrable power base.
I do remember the day when the media reported the actual news without spin.
I would love to see those given the privilege to govern us be made to live in a Government Village where they live as ordinary people during the time they serve in government where background and wealth do not matter. In this way they would have a better appreciation of the day to day lives of the people they govern. Allowing them to return to their cosseted ivory towers every evening enables them to see people as just numbers on a piece of paper. The principle works well in the armed forces. If we could in some way transfer a similar concept, we would stand a chance of restoring faith in Government. It will never happen but I can dream.
I do believe that without today’s media, politicians would be more honest. How much more is up for debate.
If you want to understand why so many people in the public eye do what they do, it is often a good idea to follow the money.
In modern times diplomacy beats conflict in every respect: going to war is barbaric and should have been abandoned years ago.
Hard times create strong men; strong men create good times; good times create weak men; weak men create hard times.
I hope there will come a day when politicians will tell the truth. I doubt if it will be in my life time.
I have much more admiration for anyone in the fighting forces who chooses to live and goes on to save 100 men, compared with a soldier who throws his life away and becomes an alleged hero in his attempt to save one. Throwing conscripted lives away under the alleged mantle of patriotism is not to be admired in my book. Who is to say that one of those sacrificed could not have come up with a better solution to find a better way of solving the conflict. This is a very unpopular view and sounds like cowardice but is based on logic and not emotion.
Growing old isn’t fun but I have yet to find a better alternative.
One of the benefits I have gained from getting old is that I do not get angry as much and I am so much better for it.
As you get older the often-used term “use it or lose it” is well worth heeding.
When you are in your eighties and you get out of bed in the morning and nothing hurts, you are most probably dead.
A radiologist friend of mine predicts that we will see some people living to 150 by the end of the century. I wonder if his prediction will come true.
When you are young, the thought of dying is abhorrent. When you are old, you learn to appreciate that it is just part of life’s natural cycle. Perhaps at the end you welcome it.
People have been very kind to me in pointing out that I seem to be aging slower than many of the people they know. Apart from obvious life style choices, I believe much is due to the avoidance of stress, depression and boredom. If I could grant wishes to people, avoidance of these three would be very high on the list.
Only
when you are old do you understand why old people are always talking about death.
As I’ve got much older just staying alive has not been one of my major criterions. If I cannot participate and contribute to those around me in a meaningful way; for me there is no point in just existing.
When considering the final resting place for your ashes, give thought to the loved ones you are leaving behind; I take great solace sitting by Sarah whenever I can, recounting the wonderful memories we shared together. How I wish I had the same opportunity with my mother whose ashes are scattered over Ilkley Moor.
If I had known that Grandchildren were so wonderful; I would definitely have had them first.
I don’t mind the thought of dying; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.