MARRIAGE - Couple Goals

COUPLE GOALS

Written By Noreen Munengoni

In December 2021 Meghan Good and Devon Franklin announced that they would be divorcing after 10years of marriage. There was a lot of talk about the breakup. People considered them the “it” couple especially considering how they abstained before marriage. Imagine a pastor marrying a woman from the “world”?! I recall reading a comment in which someone concluded with “#couplegoals”. That got me thinking... what are couple goals? How do you define them? According to Dr Philip Chidavaenzi, “Couple goals” refer to actions or ideals that someone admires or desires, especially in a couple they look up to. Usually this would be a couple that demonstrates a strong bond or deep connection. So, the person who considers such a couple as “couple goals” simply means they also want a marriage like that. For example, if someone says Pastor Phil and Mama Lyn are my couple goals, what they are saying is they want a marriage just like theirs. What I got from other people is that “couple goals” is doing what works for you and your partner. It is being in sync with each other’s needs and being able to communicate those needs to each other. “Couple goals” is doing what works for the two of you and does not involve looking outside for a formula to make magic in your relationship. The important ingredient for me is praying together. Having your partner cover you in prayer. Being able to worship God together. Unfortunately, so many of us are star-struck. We idolize these celebrities, revere them, worship them even. We model our lives on their lives. Crazy thing is, we only see what they want us to see. And then we base our decisions on what to eat, wear and do on those little snippets of their lives we see. We decide how to handle our relationships based on how we have seen them handle theirs. We even choose who to date based on what their partners look like. But we tend to forget that they are only human just like you and me. We don’t know what happens behind closed doors. As it is, there was and still is so much speculation as to why Devon and Meghan broke up. It’s a fairytale story but without the happy ending. But then again, happy for who? This could be their happy ending. While we’re crying foul and ranting and raving about how they did us wrong by breaking up, they’re breathing sighs of relief. We gave ourselves front row seats in their marriage and expected their marriage to last forever. Someone even went so far as to say, they modeled their whole relationship on that of Devon and Meghan. Now that they’re divorced, that person feels lost. They don’t know whether to continue or end their relationship, it is a sad situation. I think it would make more sense to hashtag couple goals, people you know personally. How about that old couple down the road who have been together for as long as you can remember? How about your parents who have just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary? How about your sibling who’s been married for 10years or 5 years or even 2 years? Of course, you will never truly know what happens between two people behind the scenes. It is a risk that we take hash tagging any couple. I am reminded of when Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé and when Jada Pinkett had an affair with August Alsina. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, two amazing Hollywood actors, “Brangelina” became a brand, a household name. This successful Hollywood couple was seen adopting children from third world countries, having their own, appearing in blockbuster movies and still having time for their children. They were the model couple, the one we thought would be together for a long time. But hey, life happened. They divorced. And guess what? No one talks about them anymore. At the end of the day, it is important to have your own couple goals. Define what makes you tick as a couple and what you want to achieve. In fact, before you get married, set standards for your marriage. The Bible says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. When you get together with someone whose standards, values, goals, and beliefs do not match with yours, you tend to compromise to keep them happy. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with compromising in a relationship. Ultimately, you need to know whether compromising will improve your relationship and especially you as an individual or if it will simply make you bitter. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.