PARENTING - A Call To Fatherhood

FATHERHOOD

A CALL TO

Amongst all the contractual obligations given to mankind, there is none that is as demanding as that of being a father. An adage clearly attests to the above statement, saying “every male can make a child but its not every male that can father a child!” How true!

Money, designer label clothing, expensive gadgets and other things can, on no account take the position of a real father. Time in one’s life has to be made to fulfill the obligations of paternity that go a long way beyond providing and protecting. The fact that you have provided a daily hot meal and a roof over your child doesn’t mean that you are a good father. The atmosphere is pregnant with the groanings of our generation as everyone gropes to find a missing part to fill in a vacuum created by the need for genuine fathers. Mothers in their attempt to fill that vacuum have understandably created more trouble; they have enough on their motherly dish. Life is like a huge tree with many branches that have both sweet and bitter fruits; it has smooth branches as well as thorny branches. As a father, you are sending your child up the tree of life. Your child will go through sweet experiences; the father must be available to celebrate the child’s little accomplishments and give inspiration to pursue more. Bees and other insects will sting him along the way; at times it’s the branches of the tree of life which he misguidedly chooses that break and let him painfully crush to the ground. The Father should be available to comfort, encourage and inspire the child to choose with much caution next time and assure him that everyone experiences disappointment. The branches I am talking about are in the form of the career your child can choose, the spouse they choose, the church they choose and many other things they will encounter in life. To better explain a father an acronym for FATHER has been developed as follows:

FOUNDATION

The simple definition of Father is the male parent of the child, the progenitor, the protector, the provider. A Father is not merely a foundation, but he must provide a foundation for life, a foundation for education, dignity, reputation, and wealth. The sad thing about fatherhood is that your children will inherit your battles as well. It is not everything that we fight today that is of our own making. As a father, you need

to know that you have inadvertently forced some life into a mould that you make each day you live. Your children did not choose you; save them from the pain of only inheriting problems and provide a secure foundation.

ABATE

Many fathers today are absent from their children’s lives. Fatherhood is not wearing a frightening face whenever your child misbehaves. A child should be exempted from the battles the father fought. Fathers must be establishers. If a father struggled to start a business, grow it, and establish it, it would be insane for his child to struggle starting and establishing his business as well. Fathers must endeavour to leave an established platform for their children.

TEND

Tending is what a shepherd does. The Bible informs us that a shepherd always had a rod and a staff. When God thought of creating certain individuals, He also thought of the most suitable shepherds for them. The Shepherd is in the form of a father. The process of tending will at times include inflicting pain on your children to create character in them. It may seem like you are cruel to them, but it is to build them up. Do not allow your money to destroy your children by spoiling them in the process.

HELP

One of the mistakes made by some fathers is taking help to the extreme while some choose not to assist at all. Every time help is exaggerated, it results in trouble for the one being helped. Some fathers choose to help only when their son is walking in their footsteps. Pushing your child to do what you failed to achieve is unfair. Fathers who do this will use manipulation, intimidation, and control. Everyone is born unique with an exclusive purpose which undoubtedly takes a unique way in fulfilling. The father’s pride should be in helping the son discover who he truly is. Be comfortable in saying to your child, “I really don’t understand what you are doing but I will help you.” A son stands on the shoulders of his father to see places his father never saw. It is important to note that without a father’s shoulders to stand on, the son will face difficulties.

EDUCATE

The Word “educate” comes from the word “educo” from which we derive the word “educe”. To educe means to bring out. The essence of education is not to inspire conformity but to help the identity of your child to emerge. Our education systems are not doing this kind of job, only fathers can do this. Educating your child entails helping him lift his head to see what he can become. There are always inert abilities within people that take an intent eye to detect. Educating your child means helping him to attain his destiny.

REDEEM

Every Christian should know the meaning of this important word as it is used frequently in the context of the work accomplished by our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross. The Word “REDEEM” means to make up for one’s poor past performance and behavior. It means to buy back. Growing up entails a lot of mistakes, a child with the guidance of a father easily rises after a fall while one who lacks may take longer to get up. One of the roles of a father is to help erase and minimize the consequences of a child’s mistakes. Although errors may not be reversible, they are however redeemable. Time is a resource that children may not value and fathers can come with strategies to empower their children for the future. Redeem your child’s reputation, health, position in the neighborhood after the mishaps of life. In conclusion, absent fathers can always have surrogate fathers take their positions. It is unfortunate that television and social media have fathered our generation to early death and wretchedness. It is sad to note that when a child has never been taught to relate to a father, he/she might have a problem relating to God, the Father. Let us stop abdicating our roles as fathers instead let us choose to be present in the lives of our children.