Darling Magazine Richmond/Kingston/Teddington - Winter 2019-2020

Lucy Mayer

familiar voice from Radio Jackie ‘TIS THE SEASON’ for pre-loved & sustainable fashion

LOVE YOUR AGE Fabulous Forever with Tricia Cusden BREST IMPLANTS The Hidden Dangers

Sparkling new online magazine!

MIND YOUR HEAD how the 3rd runway will affect you ANGUS FORBES on the climate crisis

FESTIVE & WINTER DINING our favourite locals THE HAMPTON HUB for Inspired Women

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darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

editor’s letter

We’d love to share our exciting news with you Cover Girl: Lucy Mayer Photography: Gail Fogarty Makeup: Rakhi Purohit Location: Richmond Hill Hotel

Publisher Darling Magazine UK Ltd. Karine Torr and Marja-Leena Toseland Editor Marja-Leena Toseland All Enquiries 07802 949836 Email richmond@darlingmagazine.co.uk kingston@darlingmagazine.co.uk Contributors Anita Feron Clark Dr Mariette Jansen Paul Mendelson Lyndsay Russell

As we step into the new decade, we’re delighted to announce that Darling is embracing the digital age and going digital, loud and proud, with an online magazine.

How things have changed in the past decade. Our first issue, printed over ten years ago, was a flimsy thing of thirty-or-so pages. We’ll be now able to bring you more local stories than ever before, more social pages and more of the news, views, events and inspiring women our readers can’t get enough of.

We know how much you love to pore over our glossy pages and we’ll still be producing our regular quarterly issues in Richmond & Kingston, North Surrey and Wimbledon. So while you’re waiting for your next fix you can now catch up on all the latest at www.darlingmagazine.co.uk We can’t wait to see you there. Sign up and tell us what do you think!

Have a lovely festive season and a very happy New Year!

Design Sky Gránia Young hello@fairoglee.com

@darlingmagazineuk @Darling Magazine

Photography Gail Fogarty gailfogarty.co.uk

Contents

Print Direct Colour Ltd mark@directcolour.com Distribution Right Distribution Ltd rightdistribution.co.uk@gmail.com Darling Wimbledon Karine Torr: 07930 396356 Darling North Surrey Karine Torr: 07930 396356 Marja-Leena Toseland: 07802 949836 Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. Darling Magazine does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form – electronic, recording or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher.

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Our Inspiring Woman Lucy Mayer from Radio Jackie

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Organic and natural hair with Sheen Hair Salon

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Gift ideas that will bring joy long after Christmas

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It all starts with colour - tips from image consultant Anita Feron Clark

12

Angus Forbes on how to save our biosphere

13

Looking fabulous forever with Tricia Cusden

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Season’s fashion from local designers & sustainable labels

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Our favourite local restaurant for festive & winter dining

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The Training Works’ holistic approach to fitness

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Darling talks to The Christmas Day Dinner in Richmond

25

On the couch with Dr De-Stress

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Malene Al Rafaey’s long suffering of Breast Implant Illness

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Local campaigner Mike Urwin adds his say to the 3rd runway debate

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Amazons & women’s emancipation in the Ancient Greek World

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Inspired Women get their own Hub

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Russell-Cooke’s check list for residential property transactions

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What does a modern funeral director do?

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Tina Lond-Caulk’s three peaks in three days challenge

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On the Scene social photo pages. For more On the Scene, check out if you’re online!

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What’s On this winter? - our diary pages

45

Missing your darling magazine?

45

Paul Mendelson’s bridge column

46

Lyndsay Russell’s Point of View

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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Lucy Mayer - a familiar voice

Radio Jackie’s News and Travel Editor shares her career highlights as Jackie is celebrating 50 years on air 4

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

Photo by Gail Fogarty.

Makeup by Rakhi Purohit.

inspiring woman but I always thought I would follow my father, who was an Editor at Lloyds List, into print instead.”

What are your career highlights to date?

Radio Jackie fundraising roadshow for Shooting Star Children’s Hospice in Hampton

Our Editor Marja-Leena catches up with Lucy at Richmond Hill Hotel

What was it like to start up as a rookie at radio?

ucy had always thought she would end up in a newsroom. Her break into broadcasting came when Neil Long, Radio Jackie’s Breakfast presenter, DJ’ed at her 21st birthday party. It was back when Jackie was just starting up again and was looking for volunteers to help out. Lucy was still at Uni reading English Literature and Language but was keen to give it a go, and the rest, as they say, is history.

“I walked into Jackie in February 2004. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew a little about the station from its history - my parents remembered it from the 80s, but I never realised it was just on my doorstep. I embarked on a training schedule to learn the Traffic and Travel ropes in between lectures at Kingston University, and I quickly progressed to presenting traffic bulletins on Drive three times a week. It was another six months before I started delivering news bulletins.

Radio Jackie had started life as a pirate station in 1969 and was raided by the authorities more than once. In 1984 a petition calling for the station to be given a licence was signed by over 55,000 people. A full 24 hours a day service was launched in 1983.

I’d had an interest in the news from a very early age.

We had newspapers in our house every day and as a child, I actively watched the news.

I could name all of the TV newsreaders and I was always fascinated by how it all worked.

At Coombe Girls’, I was coeditor of the school newspaper.

I knew I wanted to be a writer,

L

“I’ve interviewed so many people; all sorts of political figures including Prime Ministers. I’ve been on countless election trails which are hugely exciting.

I’ve interviewed actors and musicians, Brian May being one of my most memorable, simply because he is so lovely and also shares my passion for saving wildlife. An interview with Francis Rossi springs to mind because we spent more time talking about his house renovation than we did about the actual subject in hand.

I’ve been lucky enough to cover “Royal rotas” for the Queen, Prince Charles and other royals. The Wild London event in Richmond Park in 2012 to mark the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee was particularly impressive.

It was pouring with rain and we were all a bit chilly walking around Richmond Park, but The Queen and Prince Philip arrived, stoic as ever, and it was business as usual.

Radio is so immediate; there’s no feeling like a breaking news story. The Croydon riots of 2011 really stand out for me. I was just going to bed when I got a call to come back to the studios as we were going to do 20/20 news. My role was to present the bulletins and edit the interviews that journalists on the ground were feeding us.

We witnessed complete devastation that night.

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darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

header continued from page 5

At a local school fete continued from page 5

People lost their homes and one of the biggest casualties was House of Reeves, a furniture store which had survived the Blitz, but was destroyed by rioters in one night. I kept in touch with the Reeves family, and I’m so glad they managed to rebuild their business.

I like to feel that the work I’m doing is making a difference.

One of my first major assignments was to head to Croydon as Police had decided to host voluntary DNA testing following the murder of 18 year old Sally-Ann Bowman. My on-air interview with her mother Linda actively led to more male listeners ringing up to say that they would get tested just to help with the investigation.

Local news interests me the most; the campaign Jackie News launched to help reverse shop decline in Wimbledon Village

was close to my heart as I’m a firm believer in local business and saving our high streets.”

“Radio is so immediate; there’s no feeling like a breaking news story. I love working on local news and I’m a keen supporter of local business and our high streets” What do you like to do when you are not working?

“Jackie is live 24 hours a day, which means I’m on 24 hour call, so my free time is really

valuable. I have a huge circle of friends, some of whom I’ve known since we were all at Coombe Hill Infants together in New Malden. We’re scattered all over London now but try to meet up once a month where possible.

I’ve recently started climbing at White Spider in Tolworth which is a massive stress buster and I tried out paddle-boarding a few times this summer, one of those times with the Good Life Paddle Co in Surbiton on the River Thames, as opposed to on a very serene lake in the Algarve.

I loved it and am looking forward to getting back on the board – I just need to build up the courage to paddleboard the Thames in winter.” radiojackie.com lucy.mayer@radiojackie.com

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darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

PUT US hair & beauty TO TEST WITH A SPECIAL OFFER OF

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sheensalon.com For Michelle’s top reasons for you choosing her team and their organic, natural and vegan products go to Headline Features at Darling online darlingmagazine.co.uk Richmond and Kingston areas.

Why not try your luck in our Monthly Prize Draw too!

WIN A WASH, CUT AND STYLE FOR YOU AND A FRIEND, WITH A PERSONALISED HAIR TREATMENT GO TO WWW.SHEENSALON.COM 2 Lichfield Terrace, Sheen Road, Richmond TW9 1AS 020 8940 6464 sheenhairsalon.com darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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Gifts that keep on giving

Long After Christmas Bare & Bond We send intricately crafted fragrances, with incredible stories, direct from perfumers, every three months. Intricately crafted fragrances, with incredible stories. £14.95pm. Cancel anytime.

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DigMe Cycling socks - supportive, breathable with right compression.

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AITI AITI is a collection of contemporary knitwear with a modern Nordic mood and elegance, and yarns feature both cashmere and the finest Merino wool.’ aitilondon.com

For more gift ideas from us go to: darlingmagazine.co.uk/richmond or darlingmagazine.co.uk/kingston

header

SURPRISE surprise - it all starts with colour

Anita Feron Clark

Anita Feron Clark, multi-award-winning image consultant with Colour Me Beautiful

A

dding bright colours to your wardrobe can help you beat the winter blues. Grey, black, navy and other deep colours tend to dominate our wardrobes while brighter colours take a back seat.

Be clever with layering. Wear shortor long-sleeved vests under tops and jumpers; layer gilets and cardigans over dresses; add a pop of colour near your face with a scarf or necklace. You can add some shape with elasticated belts.

However, research has shown that there is a definite link between colour and emotion and, in its simplest form, brighter colours will make us feel happy when we look at them. Therefore, it’s important to wear colour in the winter, when the light is poorer and the days are shorter. Wearing colour really does lift one’s mood.

To add interest, try to wear outfits which contrast matte (i.e. lightabsorbing) fabrics such as wool with shinier, light-reflecting fabrics such as silk. For example, combine a wool jumper with a silk scarf.

There are eight universal colours which suit everyone. These are turquoise, pewter, charcoal, navy, soft white, purple, taupe and cornflower blue. Find clever ways of combining these colours with another colour, for example, by putting a bright red shirt under a grey or navy jumper.

Re-work and add a new lease of life into your party dress or clothes by having them altered, by mixing up your accessories, or by adding a fauxfur gilet, etc. Don’t feel you have to buy something new every time.

Resist the temptation to buy clothing just because it’s on sale; it’s important to buy less and wear more. A coat, for example, is likely to be an investment piece, so some of the (perhaps obvious) questions you need to ask yourself are, ‘Why do I need it?

Where am I going to wear it?

Do I already have something similar?

Will I still love it in three years’ time?’

Photograph your outfits. Consider buying an item of clothing which creates three different looks, so you get good cost-per-wear, then keep a visual record of these combinations by photographing them. You might find a casual, smart-casual and formal way to wear a new item.

Lots of light layers will keep you warmer and will be more flattering for your body shape whereas one oversized item can look bulky.

follow Anita on Instagram @feronclarkstyle feronclarkstyle.com

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business promo

“We are destroying

Angus Forbes

OUR ONLY HOME” You’ve probably bumped into hi walking his dogs in Richmond Park or at your local.

This is the unassuming Angus Forbes, usually playing second fiddle to his wife, Dame Darcey Bussell, now quietly but powerfully about to help us save the biosphere

“Whatever we do, let’s come together, right now.”

Sir Paul McCartney

I

n lectures and in his compelling first book, Angus argues that we will form and appoint a global au-thority, with power over all human or-ganisational forms, including the nation state, whose sole job will be to deliver global biophysical integrity for the ultra-long term.

“It is time to think beyond ourselves and our nations and join together.

This ground-breaking book presents a way that can protect the future of us all.”

THE DUKE OF RICHMOND AND GORDON 12

For the first time in human history, we have joined Mother Na-ture in the driving seat of the biosphere, having part responsibility for the planet’s ability to sustain life as we know it. This is the essence of the new long-term era we have entered: the Anthropocene In 2022, nearly 33 years after Sir Tim Berners-Lee wrote the computer program HTML and gave us the World Wide Web, 5 billion of us will be con-nected to each other via the internet.

Connectivity, unity and power of a global citizenship that means we can undertake our first act of global self-determination.

As it stands, we are destroying our only home. The blame for the current predicament lies squarely with us all because we have not created the right governance tool for protecting our most valuable global asset, but this is a situation we can now cor-rect with one click on our phones, one allocation of personal sovereignty en masse.

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

With a passion for the environment, Angus was the first director of the Prince’s Rainforest Project at Clarence House. He is also the founder of the not-for-profit Bankers without Boundaries and is a vociferous advocate for global governance of the biosphere. globalplanetauthority.com

“The most visionary book since Silent Spring.”

CHRIS DARWIN

entrepreneur beauty

To Look Fabulous Forever look no further!

Darling’s Helen Adams talks to Tricia Cusden about sugar, Feminism and why she wants older women to feel that they matter How do you feel about the term “age appropriate”?

There is no such thing! It’s all about what works for you.

There’s an implication that you need to change as you age - well, who says? All Look Fabulous Forever is doing is acknowledging that our skin changes.

In your book ‘Living the Life More Fabulous’, you mention that you want older women to say: “I matter too.” Was there a time when you felt that you didn’t? No.

A

fter Tricia Cusden reached the menopause, she found her make up no longer suited her skin.

Unimpressed with alternatives promising to starve off the natural ageing process, she created her own brand, Look Fabulous Forever, with a vision to make older women feel confident.

I used that expression, because I feel that some older women just care for others - their families and volunteering activities, charities and churches. Without older women, these things would collapse! Just because an older woman has no paid status doesn’t mean that she doesn’t matter.

Tell us about your lifestyle.

Post menopause, I suffered with acne rosacea. I realised the most terrible outbreaks happened after occasions which involved an excess of sugar. It can certainly be problematic, working in the beauty industry with bad skin. A couple of years ago I cut out sugar as much as I could, and my skin has cleared up! In my book Living the Life More Fabulous, I introduce things which support your body: lentils, beans, leafy greens

and oily fish. At home, I get on the exercise bike and do five sessions a week for thirty minutes each.

What are your thoughts on Feminism? My Mother always

encouraged me to earn my own living. She encouraged me to own a car, earn my own money and keep my own bank account.

I was lucky - I don’t have any barriers in my own head.

What about ageist or sexist attitudes? Things that would

have been said in the past would not be said now. But we have a way to go! n Check out Look Fabulous Forever online or visit a store for a makeover, in either Centre Court Shopping Centre, Wimbledon or 3 Market Street, Guildford.

lookfabulousforever.com To read more on Tricia and AGING GRACEFULLY go to: darlingmagazine.co.uk HAIR&BEAUTY/skin

darlingmagazine.co.uk |winter 19/20 darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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Feather and Stitch Pyrus Maggie Ocelot midi dress £294

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Diane Von Furstenberg red silk playsuit worn with Top Shop faux leather jacket Mary’s Living & Giving Teddington.

Photo by Caroline Jones.

‘Tis the Season to be

Merry & Sustainable

Emma Shoe

Emma’s picks of timeless luxe pieces from local independents, pre-loved and online sustainably focused brands. Buy pieces you truly love for value per wear and longevity way beyond the festive party season.

Feather and Stitch Wyse London Fran sequin cuff jumper £240

Mos Mosh - Sustainable jeans Simone (online), Local stockist Paradise Boutique

Yaa Yaa London mega gemstone gold statement rings £35 Designed in Surrey, made in Ghana by artisans

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darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

Isabel Marant silver leather ankle boots £470 Harvey Nichols and farfetch.com

fashion Stardust collection Buba London Sweetheart Flamenco black and gold dress £188

Feather and Stitch Essential Antwerp Tonashe pussy bow blouse £229

Julia Mays Arabella Red suede over the knee boots £615 Harvey Nichols and juliamays.com Wonderlust Silver Dunst Sequin Dress £170 Designed and hand made sustainably in Teddington

Personal Stylist Emma Shoe helps her clients explore how to create a sustainably focused wardrobe to experience the joy of buying less, buying better and wearing more. @stylingyouwell stylingyouwell.com

Anthropology cluster pearl earrings £44

Wonderlust Muse silver sequinned jacket £160

Buba London Helix Purse £238

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FESTIVE SEASON & WINTER Al Forno - authentic Italian Pizzeria and Restaurant

Al Forno is an Italian owned, authentic Italian restaurant, serving genuine fresh Italian cuisine and pizza by the river.

There is a lovely conservatory and an outside heated area.

Multi-award winning and highly recommended on TripAdvisor.

Also voted ‘Best Pizza in Kingston by Wine and Dine 2016 and The Best Family Restaurant in Kingston in 2017.

Live music and DJs, great venue for private parties too.

Townsend Parade, High St, Kingston KT1 1LY | 020 8439 7555 alfornokingston.co.uk

Del Posto - Your local Italian

Del Posto has carved its place as St Margaret’s favourite Italian thanks to their authentic and mouth-watering dishes, inspired by Italian home cooking. They aim to deliver a real Italian dining experience every time you visit. ‘There’s nothing more important than a good meal with friends and family, accompanied with a good glass of wine of course’ - their attentive staff stand by their motto. The warm and welcoming atmosphere makes it a perfect place for friends and families, whatever the occasion.

139 St. Margarets Rd, Twickenham TW1 1RG | 020 8891 2644 delposto.co.uk

Narenj Persian Restaurant

A beautiful Persian restaurant and bar located near Rose Theatre with the River Thames flowing past. A place for an intimate, relaxed and memorable dining experience that offers something different in our area. For those with pure food indulgence in mind, let the chef treat you to Narenj’s seasonally inspired small plates. Prepared by food lovers for food lovers like you, with lots of different dishes and flavours. Don’t forget to ask about the special mid-week offers when booking.

54 High Street, Kingston KT1 1HN | 020 8549 3333 narenjrestaurant.co.uk

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eating & drinking

Our favourite local restaurants The Retreat Kitchen - vegan food at its best

Founders Maggie and Claire have created a haven of plant based deliciousness, serving their own recipes perfected over time.

Supporting other small and local suppliers they are proud to be a fixture on Hill Rise in Richmond, a short walk from the Royal Park. Their seasonal winter menu includes warming soups, pies and curries as well as delicious hot chai lattes and mulled wine! Watch out for their supper clubs and Christmas specials, home made mince pies and vegan sausage rolls - certainly not to be missed.

16 Hill Rise, Richmond TW10 6UA | 020 8127 0700 theretreatkitchen.co.uk

Festive dining at Richmond Hill Hotel

Turn Christmas celebrations into an effortless affair at Richmond Hill Hotel and its newly refurbished restaurant, 144 On The Hill.

Festive dining is on the menu throughout December. On Christmas Day you’ll be welcomed with a Bellini before a three-course lunch which includes a half bottle of wine per head. A seasonal Turf to Table menu celebrating local produce and heritage is served through the winter, making any occasion feel festive. To book please call us or email info@richmondhill.co.uk 144-150 Richmond Hill, Richmond TW10 6RW | 020 8940 2247 richmondhill-hotel.co.uk

Riverside Walk Kingston restaurants with fabulous river views

Visiting Kingston for shopping, meeting friends or going to the theatre? The six restaurants on the Riverside - Bill’s, Busaba, Chakra, Comptoir Libanais, Côte Brasserie or Haché Riverside Social are open every day from breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, cocktails to dinner. All the restaurants boast stunning views of the River Thames and offer diverse cuisine to suit every palette. Choose from the best of British, French brasserie, a taste of Thai, the best burgers in London, lovely Lebanese or an authentic Indian feast – there’s something for everyone.

Riverside Walk, Kingston, KT1 1QN riversidekingston.co.uk

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More of our favourite local restaurants Ruba Lebanese Cuisine

Ruba’s Lebanese hospitality, atmosphere and service are perfect for festive season celebrations, and for any sharing and socialising throughout the winter. Mouthwatering meze, sizzling grilled meats, fish and seafood are prepared with top quality produce and the freshest of ingredients. Also on the menu is a great variety of dishes for vegans and vegetarians, with special care paid to a range of dietary requirements.

Their selection of Lebanese and international wines agrees with all refined tastes in perfect harmony to Ruba’s exquisite menu choices.

132 High Street, Teddington TW11 8JB | 020 8287 0191 rubarestaurant.co.uk

The Six - traditional, seasonal British food cooked exceptionally well

At The Six everything is made from the finest, freshest ingredients supplied locally. The menus have been created by Michelin Star Chef Mark Kempson and the kitchen is overseen by Head Chef Jack Scoines. But what their menus don’t show you, is the little touch of magic the chefs add. It’s their skill and imagination that add the wow factor to their dishes, so that dishes you are familiar with and ingredients that you know, have an unexpected twist. Its proximity to the magnificent Palace brings history and inspiration to the menu.

Open for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, 7 days a week.

Kings Arms Hotel, 2 Lion Gate, Hampton Ct Rd, Molesey KT8 9DD | 020 8016 6630 thesixrestaurant.co.uk

Stein’s German Restaurants in Kingston and Kensington

Stein’s Kingston is a Bavarian restaurant with warm wooden interior, and the staff are dressed in traditional Dirndl and Lederhosen, serving Bavarian beer in big steins. It has the feel of a mountain hide-away.

Berlin offers a very different vibe, more urban chic, yet relaxed.

Both serve German favourites such as schnitzels and sausages, and also especially developed vegan and vegetarian dishes. A perfect place to enjoy a glass of German beer or wine or homemade German cake and coffee too!

56 High Street, Kingston KT1 1HN | 51 Princes Gate, Entrance on Exhibition Rd, Kensington SW7 2PH stein-s.com/kingston

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Richmond Park

Located just a short walk up the hill from Richmond town centre, we’re steps away from the royal park!

Richmond Hill, Richmond, TW10 6RW

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Paul Sinton-Hewitt, Founder of Parkrun Located opposite St Margarets station The Training Works modest exterior belies the fact it is a large, modern, light and airy studio set over three floors - offering multi use spaces for fitness as well as two private treatment rooms.

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community

Christmas Day Dinner to remember With Sir Vince Cable stepping into Santa’s boots to bring festive cheer to young care leavers For the third year running, an ever-growing band of Richmond, Twickenham and Kingston-based volunteers are organising an extra special Christmas Day Dinner for 60 local young people, aged 18-25, who have recently left the care system.

Lemn’s first Dinner took place in 2013 in Manchester; this year there will be over 20 nationwide.

One personal advisor from the Leaving Care Team said, “The messages I have received from

For many young care leavers, loneliness and isolation is magnified on Christmas Day; it can be a day to dread and then forget. The goal is to create a safe and welcoming day, complete with traditional lunch, lovely gifts and festive fun.

have to worry about

The idea to hold a Christmas Day Dinner was inspired by the 2012 Olympic poet, Lemn Sissay who grew up in foster care and in children’s homes, and had no family to fall back on when he became a care leaver. “It feels an incredibly risky time,” he says. “I used to fold myself into myself. All the memories were of Christmasses that hadn’t been good.”

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“Our guests no longer being alone and isolated at Christmas; they know they have somewhere to go locally to celebrate together in a different kind of ‘family’.” my young people that attended Christmas Day are amazing – it’s a day they will always remember. They told me they made friends swapped numbers and felt really special.”

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The festivities will include a traditional Christmas dinner – cooked by a volunteer chef from Strawberry Hill House – and special activities including a silent disco, festival make-up, a photo booth and film screenings.

Sir Vince Cable will be making his second appearance at the top secret venue this year. He say “I am delighted to be able to support this year’s event after spending Christmas Day with 60 of the Borough’s care leavers in 2017,” said Mr Cable.

“These young people have a lot to contribute to society but do not have the family support networks of most of us – which is why they have been in care.”

Many local companies have offered their support but more donations and presents are still needed.

If you can help please see christmasdayrichmond.com for details.

mental health

couch with Dr De-Stress On the

Dr Mariette Jansen

CAN’T SAY NO?

C

atherine was your typical ‘busy bee’. Always active. Even at times when she thought she wasn’t, her ‘things to do’ list would catch up with her. She loved people and hated the idea of disappointing them. She was also very uncomfortable with confrontations. It felt easier to say yes to any request.

When a friend asked her why she was always so busy for others, she shrugged her shoulders and said: ‘I can’t say no’. The friend nodded, as if this was an okay explanation.

But is it okay?

Is it okay to say yes to a request when you might not have time or energy to take it on? When your yes is an expression of fear for confrontation or disappointment? When you compromise your priorities and favour someone else? When you allow others to overstep your boundaries?

Who pays the price?

Catherine might be okay with spending time and energy on helping others out, even though it tires her.

But her partner feels neglected and her children think

they don’t see enough of their mum. Her lack of ability to say no is affecting her loved ones; they pay the price.

How do you change that?

I asked Catherine to stop her automatic response of ‘Yes I will do it’. Step back and say instead: ‘Let me think about it.’ Thinking about it means in this context for her to answer the following questions: • What do I get out of saying yes? Apart from people pleasing and avoiding a confrontation.

• What does it take from me? Apart from time and energy.

• Who pays the price? Apart from me.

When she has the answers to these questions, she can make a decision to say yes full heartedly or no convincingly. ‘Can’t say no’ is not okay, even though it is widely accepted.

Want to receive my weekly tips (similar to my columns) on a Saturday morning, just text Darling Saturday to 07967 717 131.

Dr Mariette Jansen - Dr De-Stress - is a life coach, meditation teacher, EFT therapist, award winning blogger and expert in helping women to understand how they get in the way of their own happiness and how to make changes to become happy, stop anxiety and build confidence.

Email: mariette@drdestress.co.uk drdestress.co.uk

drdestress.co.uk | mariette@drdestress.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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My Wasted Life with Breast Implants Darling Editor Karine Torr, chats to local mum Malene El Rafaey about her very personal journey

A

t 24 I was happy, confident and full of life but foolishly about to take for granted the biggest blessing of all, my health. After landing various modelling opportunities I decided to take the plunge into the world of page 3 and during a shoot, a few months in, a photographer asked if it was okay to tape my breasts up and was left wondering why and became increasingly insecure 24

about my new, apparently saggy chest. After a while I decided to have breast augmentation which I was happy with at the time as it really did help with modelling work, furthering my career.

Five years later, unbeknownst to me, the symptoms of ‘Breast Implant Illness’ began to surface, becoming apparent after having my first baby which meant using even the gentlest

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

baby wipes resulted in severe eczema. My immune system also started to crumble, getting every cold and illness and being too weak to fight them off, I felt constantly drained and low. Little did I know this was just the beginning of a long journey of pain, suffering and depression. I was for years, forced to endure this life of misery until one day a friend on Instagram told me about Breast Implant Illness,

health

Malene’s years of eczema which she attributes to her implants

showing me a list of the symptoms which all fitted with my suffering.

Within seconds my heart jumped at the thought of having finally found the cause of my mystery illnesses.

I quickly joined a Facebook Group called ‘Breast Implant Illness & Healing by Nicole’ which was full of women (now with 98.000 members) with the same catalogue of illness as my own and was a safe space where I found people I could confide in and validate my feelings.

In April 2017 walking up the stairs in my house left me completely breathless. My fatigue and brain fog was astounding. My face had extreme oedema and burning with pain. I had a rash all over my body, my nipples were leaking discharge and my ribs felt bruised and sore. I kept waking in the night with sweats often feeling like I was choking.

Knowing that my implants were slowly killing me from the inside I had a sense of desperation and couldn’t wait to expel this toxic poison, so I went straight to the best surgeon, maxing out my credit card, to take them out. It was important to find a surgeon who was skilled enough to take out the capsule that had formed around my implant as well as the actual silicone as this

is essential to fully healing; after the explant surgery my brain fog and fatigue had lifted and rashes disappeared within hours.

“I have an anchor scar on my breasts and lollipop scar around my nipples, but I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. With my health back to fighting fit I feel empowered...”

The 23rd of October 2019 it was announced by the FDA that women considering surgery to receive breast implants should be warned in advance of the risk of serious complications, including fatigue, joint pain and a rare type of cancer called BIA-ALCL. Had I been told at my consultation there was even a small chance of developing auto immune diseases or cancer I would have never gone ahead with this toxic augmentation. I am living proof that Breast Implant Illness exists and along with so many others in my position am now fighting to get this out in the open so that

millions of people with any type of implant are aware that they are filled with carcinogens that cause auto immune diseases and cancer. I have also been interviewed for a BBC documentary on the subject due to be aired in February 2020.

Now, on the anniversary of my implant removal surgery, I have an anchor scar on my breasts and lollipop scar around my nipples, but I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. With my health back to fighting fit I feel empowered and also responsible to share the reality of this horror with as many people as possible so that they don’t go through the torment I have. I have learned the hard way to love the imperfect beauty we all share as human beings and no matter what my aesthetic ‘flaws’ are, being able to play with my children in the park without gasping for breath means more to me than anything. n

malenesworld@yahoo.com FOR TOP TIPS on what to ask your surgeon before breast implant removal, ‘explant’, go to editor’s ‘our stories’ at darling online darlingmagazine.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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making noises Local campaigner Mike Urwin’s views on Heathrow are worth a listen

I

f Heathrow has its way, be prepared for low flying aircraft!

Proposed changes to air traffic management (ATM) and a changed protocol to spread aircraft over more London boroughs could see Kingston and Richmond and neighbours suffering added inbound westerly air traffic for the very first time. Wimbledon could see aircraft as low as 2000 feet, and, ‘worst case’, inbound aircraft overhead at the rate of one every minute and a half. Residents in Wimbledon, Richmond, Cobham, Esher, Weybridge, Kingston and other towns should access “Heathrow’s

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Airspace Design Envelopes for Expansion, January 2019” website for possible new traffic movements over their homes.

will add 25,000 more. Together they would increase current traffic by 60% to around 765,000 flights per annum. No surprise, then, that these two separate but related proposals will generate more noise, more pollution and add more carbon to both the planet and our neighbourhoods. Although technology will produce quieter, cleaner aircraft in the future, it is thought that viable electric aircraft are at least fifty years away.

Heathrow’s proposed third runway will add 255,000 flights per annum, or 700 per day! Changes to ATM

With Heathrow already badly sited in the heart of London suburbs, the prospect of adding

“London boroughs could see Kingston and Richmond and neighbours suffering added inbound westerly air traffic for the very first time”

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

environment 1000+ acres of greenbelt and farmland, the rerouting of rivers, the tunnelling of the M25 and the general environmental damage surely should be. Add to this the fact that expansion construction will impact local communities for over thirty years and the transport network capability for increased passenger loading has not been fully assessed or costed. As important, the figures used to promote this scheme appear to be based on flawed assumptions and conclusions. At best they only generate an overall average Net Present Value of ZERO. It is also not clear whether Heathrow itself knows what this project will cost.

Is it £14bn, £30bn, £50bn or £100bn? Whatever, it seems logical to conclude that the government and taxpayer will be contributing billions to a project promoted largely by foreign shareholders.

another airport the size of Gatwick to its operations defies logic.

Particulate & NO2 pollution, already exceeding EU limits can only worsen with increased ground and air traffic. Almost one million people are already afflicted by aircraft noise and an expansion could see this number doubled.

On the climate front, departing aircraft currently generate c20 million tons of CO2 and this will increase before, perhaps, returning to roughly the same level by 2060.

It is completely at odds with the government’s committed policy of ‘zero carbon’ by 2050.

If this is not enough to stop the expansion, the demolition of 800 houses, the bulldozing of two villages, the commandeering of

Heathrow secured government support largely due to its supposed economic contribution to the UK economy given its present questionable ‘hub’ advantage.

However, since over 70% of its traffic is for tourism, spurred on by ‘cheap flights’, it seems clear that it would be better for England and the planet to reduce air travel rather than increase it. In so doing, there would be no need for a third runway at Heathrow and no need for another one at Gatwick or at any other airport. Brexit, the Trump tariff wars, general global economic uncertainties and communication technologies will anyway reduce the need for air travel, aircraft and runways …not only in the UK, but globally.

Readers can help stop the Heathrow Expansion by writing or emailing their views to their councils, MP’s, to the CAA and to Heathrow.

They can support opposing bodies like No3rdRunway, Stop Heathrow Expansion, HACAN and many others. Check their websites for details. Sitting back and doing nothing is not an option. The third runway must be consigned to history and the proposed airspace routing changes must be reconsidered.

“If this is not enough to stop the expansion, the demolition of 800 houses, the bulldozing of two villages, the commandeering of 1000+ acres of greenbelt and farmland, the rerouting of rivers, the tunnelling of the M25 and the general environmental damage surely should be” Project status: following government approval in June 2018 (now the subject of a Judicial Review Appeal), Heathrow’s second and final Airport Expansion consultation was commissioned in June this year. Heathrow is now preparing its DCO application for submission to the Planning Inspectorate in 2020 for a decision in 2021. Approval would see a third runway added by 2026.

The Heathrow Expansion project can be stopped. Readers can write to their councils, MP’s, the Civil Aviation Authority and Heathrow and join opposing bodies such as No3rdRunwayCoalition et al. darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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header (Josefin 10pt / 90% K)

&

AMAZONS

history

David Grant

WOMEN’S EMANCIPATION

in the Ancient Greek World The new book of Richmond historian & author David Grant questions and reconstructs the mysteries of the royal Macedonian tombs and the family of Alexander the Great The gold quiver, shin-guards and neck armour of the female in the Vergina tomb

A

ncient Greece was a man’s world. In ‘democratic’ Athens, like slaves, women could not vote.

Put in contract marriages to far older husbands, women were expected to bear children when hardly out of puberty, with no voice in city affairs.

of emancipation from strict city state laws. But DNA tests of graves proved ‘warrior women’ not legendary: Scythian fighting females were buried with weapons, war horses and even servants.

But new excavations of ancient graves reveals an age old quest for female emancipation, and even the existence of warrior women.

In the Eleusinian Mysteries, archaic pagan festivals celebrating primordial female elements, women entranced themselves with psychedelic concoctions, and consumed pennyroyal, pine needles, bark and pomegranate seeds. Research shows each contain sex hormones with contraceptive potential; women sought independence through the covert control of pregnancy.

Greek women knew of fabled Amazons whose gynocracy rejected men at the edge of the Greek world.

Formidable sexually liberated archers who dressed in britches and boots, Amazons were powerfully evocative 28

A female Scythian archer with hip-slung bow-and-arrow quiver

In 1977 at Vergina in northern Greece, a tomb was found filled with precious artefacts with exquisite weaponry; surely the bones of Philip II, father of Alexander the Great. More remarkable was the ‘weaponised’ woman with him with a gold Scythian bow-and-arrow quiver.

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

It was initially assumed the weapons were his. Wrong! In 2013, her bones revealed a leg wound which was matched to the specially shaped armour to cover it.

In ancient Macedon in the time of Alexander, remarkable women wore the trousers in court; they executed rivals and led armies to war. Alexander’s grandmother, mother, half-sister and her daughter all took up arms for the state or died at one another’s hand. Socrates warned: ‘once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior’; no wonder the fathers of democracy declined them the vote.

David Grant has been collaborating with anthropologists in Greece to identity the ‘mystery Amazon of Macedon’. His new book, Unearthing the Family of Alexander the Great, the Remarkable Discovery of the Royal Tombs of Macedon, is available from Amazon and other online retailers.

For a longer article visit: darlingmagazine.co.uk/ richmond/ourstories

header

Hub Sweet Hub Darling met with founder Susan Green, to hear how she galvanises women to get out of their comfort zones and into Inspired Women

Photography by Cythare Cooper

Why did you decide to create Tell us a bit about your members…

Inspired Women - and what “Everyone seems to have a different passion for is it? helping to change the world, whether it be our diets, “I had an overwhelming desire to help the elderly, improve things for the youth of today, to share all of the wonderful reduce our carbon footprint or aid a calmer and more things that were going on in my mindful world.” life my businesses, my children You’re now building a hub for your meetings and my friends, but also to and events, The Hampton Inspired Hub. Why gain support for the things that is it important to have your own venue? weren’t going so well.

“Having our own building creates so As I began to speak Susan Green “The Hub will many more opportunities. Whether you to other people I are a member or not, you are welcome to realised that I wasn’t alone. That led me to start have something the café, workshops and events, to use the hall a group and to call it Inspired Women, a name and small meeting rooms and to chill for all the family that captured everything I wanted to achieve.” in our amazing ‘Zen Zone’ for relaxing to access or use and socialising.”

What was it like in the beginning?

“We met at a local pub, just a few of us at first some of my staff from Greenacres Day Nursery School, mums from the nursery, and even my relatives. We found that we were really motivated by each other’s stories and it just grew from there.”

as part of their business or social lives, in a safe and relaxed environment”

What do you discuss?

“Travel came up early on - we started to visit other countries and look how other women in business worked and even dared to try ‘out of the comfort zone’ activities which we wouldn’t necessarily had the courage to do by ourselves.”

So, Hampton Inspired Hub will be a place for everyone to use and enjoy?

“We now also have Inspired Retirement, Inspired Childcare, Inspired Dieting, Inspired Wellbeing and a very successful Inspired Youth!

There’s something for everyone a book club, Scrabble clubs, cooking classes and yoga, as well as business support for ‘craft and creations’. inspiredwomen.co 07713 405049

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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legal promo

Rachel Stewart

[

[

STRESSFUL TIMES

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” Charles Dickens

by Rachel Stewart

Y

ou may have seen a national bank quoting Charles Dickens in its new marketing campaign. Today’s current political and economic climate is definitely uncertain but no more so than in the property market. The question of course is whether the forthcoming general election will give us any more certainty.

The property market in our corner of SW London has over the last few years been hit hard. Properties are taking longer to sell as buyers are more cautious and mortgage lenders have tightened their lending practices. This has led to transactions becoming slower and causing more headaches.

Conversely, some clients are taking the view that now is a good time to buy as in some cases lower sale prices have meant lower stamp duty land tax (SDLT) and they don’t have to borrow as much as perhaps they once did.

If you are considering buying or selling it is vital you get the best professional advice from the outset and contrary to popular opinion your solicitor should be a great help and support to you throughout the process!

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darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

Get ahead of the market Traditionally buyers and sellers only instruct their solicitors once an offer has been made and accepted.

However, it is highly advisable to obtain legal advice as soon as you have made the decision to put your property on the market or are looking to purchase, as this can speed up the conveyancing process.

In a sale this would involve preparation of a full contract pack which would allow for ample time to check there are no issues that may cause delays.

Types of problems that can arise include; legal title issues; lack of documentation for planning, and lack of building control certificates and compliance certificates (such as FENSA, electrical works and HETAS certificates). There could also be issues associated with breach of restrictive covenants.

A solution will generally be possible, but the sooner these issues are addressed the better.

If you are selling a leasehold property it may be prudent for your solicitor to obtain the management pack which should contain all the relevant information the buyer will need.

legal promo

Managing your budget In recent years the Government has made major changes to SDLT including the imposition of an extra 3% duty on second properties. Your solicitor should be able to assist you in calculating your likely liability which will form an important part of the budgeting for your move.

Does local experience help?

Good connections with other professionals in the Kingston, Teddington and Richmond areas such as estate agents, surveyors and estate management companies will make it easier for your legal team to identify key market issues which will assist you in making your decision to proceed with the sale and purchase.

Good communication is key Whilst the process is in full swing, having good lines of communication can reduce stress and hasten progress. You should agree with your solicitors at the outset what form of communication suits you best. You should be kept informed of the progress of the transaction

at every stage, with a regular point of contact who will respond quickly by telephone and email. There should be experienced and dedicated assistants who will support and understand every step of your transaction.

Moving home can be a daunting prospect but by instructing the right solicitors you will receive the right legal advice and support and avoid a lot of the stresses and strains.

If this sounds like the right approach for you, and you would like advice on any residential property transactional work please contact our partner Rachel Stewart on 0208 394 6532 or email enquiries@russell-cooke.co.uk. russell-cooke.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

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funeral promo

WHAT IS A MODERN FUNERAL DIRECTOR? Awarded Good Funeral Guide accreditation, White Rose Modern Funerals discuss meaningful farewells - and it’s not about size or spend Jacqui and Nick

W

e were delighted to be recently awarded Good Funeral Guide accreditation.

Their director spent a day with us to experience how we help bereaved families at their most difficult time.

doorway to walk through - or we can meet you in the comfort of your own home. To be having one of the hardest conversations in a softer environment over a cuppa helps you to relax and piece together how to say farewell.

We started out in this industry after less than satisfactory funeral experiences. We had no traditional funeral background but instinctively felt that such a poignant time in life – losing a loved family member or friend – should be led by a time of personal involvement and individuality, rather than convention and expectation. And the biggest question; were all the costs necessary? A large part of this industry is led by corporates.

You have more choices than you will be aware of. For example, you are not limited to using a crematorium chapel for a cremation funeral there are more inspiring locations! We have helped to create beautiful farewells attended by just one or two family members and organised prestigious ceremonies with over 300 people attending. A good funeral is not measured by its size or spend, it is about what is most meaningful when reflecting upon a life lived.

After a lot of research and time spent with other progressive funeral directors around the UK, we could see how the whole experience of a funeral could be more in tune with modern times.

A first conversation with us is not about ‘selling’ you a funeral. It is learning about your family member and what you feel would be right - and wrong - when planning their funeral. We have a modern, light airy office - no intimidating

Talk to Nick & Jacqui 020 3281 1045 whiterosemodernfunerals.co.uk

To be faced with planning a funeral is not nice but we are here to guide you and to make a difficult time a little easier where we can. The first step, if you are facing the loss of a loved one, is to just call us - we’re here to listen and help.

White Rose Modern Funerals

Causeway House, 13 The Causeway Teddington, TW11 0JR

We cover SW London and NE Surrey darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

33

AIN’T NO

mountain high enough As she approached her 50th year, clinical nutritionist Tina Lond-Caulk, wanted to do something truly outstanding to mark the occasion

W

ith the Alpine Challenge, to raise money for Child Bereavement UK, she achieved her ambitious goal. The task consisted of climbing ‘three peaks in three countries in three days’ and took every last ounce of her determination and will-power.

Tina gave her account to Holly Candlish of three extraordinary days in October. “I’m a bit of a scaredy-cat, not terribly outdoorsy and definitely not intrepid or up for stepping outside my comfort zone. I signed up on the spur of the moment without giving it too much thought - in my mind I thought we were going on a long walk rather than actually summitting three peaks,” she says. The reality was plainly more challenging.

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The 20-strong team of fabulous ladies ascended peaks in Italy, France and Switzerland, reaching altitudes twice as high as Ben Nevis and climbing 4,500m in total from trail head to summit, which is almost exactly the same as climbing Kilimanjaro: the difference is they aimed to do it in three days and not six. This is her diary of the experience.

DAY 1

Last night, I met my team members at the airport for the first time and on our first evening together we were asked to introduce ourselves and explain our reasons for taking the challenge. It was incredibly moving and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house as each of us

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

told our stories. So many of the team have tragically lost babies, children or their partners and are hiking in their memory. I’m also walking with volunteers for the charity who do such incredible work supporting bereaved families with helplines, support groups and individual therapy.

Today, we hiked Testa Della Tronche, in Italy, to reach our first summit at an elevation of 1200m the equivalent of 311 floors - to give some perspective, nearly 4.5 times the 72 floors of the Shard. It was harder than I ever imagined. I had trained for distance and not the uphill climbing element.

inspiring women This hike was in memory of the beautiful 3-year-old Louisa Baccanello who sadly passed away from a twisted bowel, leaving us all devastated.

DAY 2

Bel Oiseau Switzerland and what a challenge it was! So completely different from yesterday. Today was a technical climb on rocks, ice, snow and through glacial water drizzling down under foot throughout our ascent to an extraordinary summit of 2700m.

I was truly scared and terrified at times, but the support team were super encouraging and gave me the confidence to continue on my ascent - I very nearly bailed. My descent was on slippery falling rocks. I can’t believe I actually did what I did today.

Today I climbed in memory of Suzanne Ballantine - a mummy from Rokeby School -who sadly passed away in childbirth leaving her two precious boys age 4 and 5 and her beloved husband.

The work this charity does helps families like the Ballantines to

move forward and be able to rebuild their lives never forgetting their lost loved ones.

DAY 3

Today consists of an ascent of 2200m in Aiguille des Posettes, very close to Chamonix. We are totally broken after two days of hiking up to eight hours each day and climb with weary limbs, swollen and blistered feet - but warm hearts.

The 360 panoramic views were out of this world and we experienced a very emotional summit as many of our team laid stones inscribed with their loved one’s names. When we gathered together for our final summit photo a beautiful bird soared above us all for a few moments.

We didn’t see another bird either before or after that point. It felt very spiritual and moving.

The last few days have been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I met the most inspirational, amazing group of ladies who supported each other through thick and thin, we laughed

so hard and cried together as we conquered our fears. It’s been EPIC. I can’t wait for my next challenge and I now consider myself just a tiny bit intrepid and just a wee bit proud of myself.

The challenge raised a whopping £170,000 for Child Bereavement UK and these are the reasons they are supporting childbereavementuk.org • Every 22 minutes a parent dies leaving dependent children.

Around 111 children are bereaved of a parent every day • Around 28 babies, children and young people under the age of 25 die each day in the UK over 10,000 each year • Child Bereavement UK provided face to face support for more than 3,000 children, young people and adults last year.

Tina Lond-Caulk is a distinguished clinical nutritionist who practices in Kingston or at the Lanserhof Arts Medical Clinic, Mayfair. n

thenutritionguru.co.uk Tina and the rest of the team

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

35

onthescene header (Josefin 10pt / 90% K)

With Editor Marja-Leena Toseland

MARY'S LIVING & GIVING FASHION SHOW AT ONE ONE FOUR IN TEDDINGTON Photos by Caroline Jones

Maisie and D'Artagnan (MC and DJ on the night)

Damon King, Andrea Bailey (Mary's L&G) and Robin Good

Livvy Evans and Sarah Stride

Jo Price

David Evans

Jean McGarry and Ellen Hainsworth

Lucy Thatcher, Sara Layton, Dana Jamieson and Kerry Nixon

Olivia Coley, Stephanie Gardiner and Michelle Peters

Moraa Mose Lisa Bailey and Lorna Kirk Billy (head bartender at One One Four) and Sam Ovens

Our Editor Marja-Leena, Sam Berry (owner, One One Four) and Jackie Beedle(Manager, Mary's L&G)

Ellie Kilby Grainge and Fiona Adams

Hidemi Seto

Laura Alboni

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Monica Palmer Sam Berry darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

Sarah Whalley, Marianne Owen, Sarah Mumford and Gill Hetherington

KINGSTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, WOMEN'S BUSINESS LUNCH AT AL FORNO KINGSTON

Rochelle Tomlin and Sonya Cook

Emma Peries and Kelly Little

Susan Arthur, Stela Pavlikova, Amanda McLoughlin and Natalie Crew

Josie Bulloch, Rachel Russell, Anita Feron Clark and Ria Attlee

Anila George, Fabio (owner of Al Forno Kingston), Clare Mannall, Patricia Turner and Debbie Yarwood

Kat Hipsey and Erica Ferrar

Alex Hughes and Giulia Iannucci

INSPIRED WOMEN DINNER AT THE RAILWAY IN TEDDINGTON

Susan Green, founder of Inspired Women speaking at the dinner Justine Hales, Bea Jung and Catharina Oosthuizen

Mona Usher and Michela Carossi

WIMBLEDON BOOKFEST

Our Editor met Mariella Fostrup

Karine Torr (Darling Wimbledon Editor) with Emily Maitlis

BE RICHMOND - 3RD ANNIVERSARY AT RICHMOND HILL HOTEL

Ellen Storrar (Manager, Richmond BID). Nick Parkin (Bowleys Shoes), Diane Tapner-Evans (GM Richmond Hill Hotel), Erick Kervaon (GM Bingham Riverhouse & Chair of Richmond BID), Susan Shaw (Business and Enterprise Manager Richmond Council) and Gabriel Irwin (Foot Solutions & Vice Chair of Richmond BID)

STYLING EVENT AT CARA RICHMOND WITH ANITA FERON CLARK

Rakhi Purohi, the event makeupartist, Krystyna Sosnierz and Paola Acevedo

Our Editor Marja-Leena with Anita Feron Clark

Anita Feron Clark, Edd Hilton (manager at Cara Richmond) and Susanna Edwards (Richmond Hill Open Gardens)

ANITA FERON CLARK STYLING EVENT AT PARADISE BOUTIQUE, EAST MOLESEY

Helen Locker (owner, Paradise Boutique) and Kate Bergin

Rakhi Purohet (makeup artist) and Jane Livermore

Sue Hall and Heather Kirkup

Rona Wheeldon, Katie Weston and Toni Bowater

UNEARTHING THE FAMILY OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT BY DAVID GRANT, BOOK SIGNING AT THE OPEN BOOK IN RICHMOND

Vanessa Noutier, Helen Locker and Anita Feron Clark

Our editor with David Grant and Sarah Casteldine

Heather Watson, Sarah Castledine and Cato Willie

Charles, David and his father David Grant Snr Denny Aston, Lynne-Marie Kelly and Caroline Alexander

Shaun Pacey and Keith Aston

THE ATHENA NETWORK LAUNCHED A NEW GROUP IN NEW MALDEN

Koo Anand and Trisha Mayes

Mariette Jansen and Millie Govekar

Koo Anand, Charmaine Mace (Athena Richmond and Kingston Regional Director), Anne Williams, Reeya Ravji and Amanda Cullen

Jane Cowley and Emma Rothstein

Tanya Buck and Natalie Futcher

THE ECONOMIC BREAKFAST WITH NATWEST AND KINGSTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

Peter Quilter, Marcus Wright (Senior Economist, NatWest), Rochelle Tomlin and Andy Carpenter

ANCIENT WAYS EMERGING, A BRIGID DE SAULLES EXHIBITION AT KINGSTON MUSEUM

Dave Wood, Phil & Mo Moore, Marcus Williams, Tim & Catherine Brook, Anne Perotta, Brigid De Saulles and Rob Mann

Forbes Low (CEO, Kingston Chamber of Commerce), Rachel Russell and Delia Porter

Rina Bailey and Hatice Mustafa

Julia Trollip and Sam Colyer

TRAVEL WEEKLY ASPIRE AWARDS

Thames Travel picked up the Best use of Content Award: L-R Craig Davidson, Claire and Christian Green (owners of Thames Travel), Hollie- Rae Brader (Editor of Aspire Magazine)

INSPIRED WOMEN STEPFORD WIVES GARDEN PARTY IN HAMPTON HILL Carole Barnes, Deva Armstrong, Meera Winder, Susan Green (organiser, Inspired Women), Fiona MacCarron, Mona Usher, Janet Deeb, Anne Marie Fletcher, Lesley Alexander and Liz Tough (front)

MENOPAUSE TALK BY BODYVIE AT DYSART IN PETERSHAM

Eva Keogan, Dr Andrew Webber and Natalie Leake

Dr Olivia Codrington, Barbara Webb (founder & MD of Bodyvie) and Sarah McNaughtly

Yossi Curtis and Maria Tilev

Louise O'Connor and Liz Norton

AT THE LAUNCH OF THE TAP DRINK-IN AT REAL ALE, TWICKENHAM

Ella Neaf and Lisa Zaidell (fans of Real Ale from North London)

Jonny Goldie (assistant manager) and Billy Brooks (shop assistant)

David Grant (author) , Lyndsay Russell (Darling columnist) and Marja-Leena Toseland

KINGSTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE - CHESSINGTON EXPO

Conrad Allum and Connor Murphy from Go Cycle e-bikes

Celia Rizothanasi and Rob Holmes

Helen Edwards and Charlotte Morgan (both from Warren House) with our Editor Marja-Leena

Peter Greenwood, Natalie Crew (Chamber of Commerce) and Isobel Colson

Jemma with Stomth the skunk and Nicole holding Rosie the owl Karine Torr (Darling Wimbledon Editor) with Ed Davey MP

THE DECORCAFE CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL AT STRAWBERRY HILL HOUSE

Emma Mitchell and Debbie Blott - The Decorcafe partners

Sophie Edginton (The Dinnerset), May Simpkin (nutritionist) and chef Jan Greenhalg

Karen and Jack Hawkins, Stay Wild Flowers

Susannah Weiland and Marja-Leena Toselandd

Sara Cook, Linen Quarter

LADY WIMBLEDON'S SCARY HALLOWEEN PARTY

Magician Diobo with Karine Torr

Stylists Hel & Mel, Garage MC, Mc Kie and Lady Wimbledon

Sally Strang, Julie Burgess, Jackie Mitchell and Marja-Leena

SALMON LIVE SUSTAINABLE LIVING EVENT AT ROSE THEATRE

Peter Greenwood, Cllr Margaret Thompson Mayor of Kingston, Karen Powell (Salmon Magazine), Tessa Kind and Julie Pickering

Janie Harland and Nikki Williams

WHAT’S ON THIS WINTER? TWICKENHAM FARMERS MARKET

CHRISTMAS FRENCH MARKET Sat 14 - Sun 15 Dec Church Street, Twickenham twickenhamthetown.org.uk

Every Sat 9am-1pm Holly Road car park, TW1 4HF lfm.org.uk

CHRISTMAS AT KEW GARDENS

ORANGE TREE THEATRE

Until 5 Jan 2020 kew.org/kew-gardens/whats-on/ christmas

Can’t Wait For Christmas!

14 - 29 Dec Candida by Bernard Shaw Until Sat 11 Jan 2020 Allegri Quartet, Sat 5 Jan 2020 orangetreetheatre.co.uk

HAM HOUSE AND GARDEN Visit Father Christmas Weekends Dates: 7, 8, 14, 15, 21, 22 Dec 2019 nationaltrust.org.uk/events

MARY WALLACE THEATRE A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Sat 7 Dec - Sat 14 Dec A Long Day’s Journey into the Night, 18 - 25 Jan 2020 richmondshakespeare.org.uk

THE MUSICAL MUSEUM AT KEW BRIDGE Annual Christmas Concert Sun 15 Dec, 3pm musicalmuseum.co.uk/what-s-on THE NICE WORK RICHMOND CHRISTMAS 10K & 5K Sheen Gate, Sun 8 Dec, 10:00am nice-work.org.uk SNOW & SURPRISES FESTIVE SEASON AT THE PETERSHAM HOTEL Until 24 Dec petershamhotel.co.uk

ORLEANS HOUSE GALLERY Heritage Tours, regular events Art of Wellbeing, willow weaving Thu12 Dec See Saw, Fri 13 Dec orleanshousegallery.org HAMPTON COURT PALACE

THE EXCHANGE Wajib (Palestine) film Tue 10 Dec, 8pm Token Man Comedy - Christmas Special, Wed 11 Dec, 8pm Sleeping Beauty, panto

By Scratcher Productions Mon 16 Dec, 2pm & 30 Dec 12pm Manford’s Comedy Club, Fri 31 Jan 2020, 8pm Strong Women Science Thu 20 Feb 2020, 1:30 & 4pm exchangetwickenham.co.uk ONE PAVED COURT ‘Stillness’ by Bob Aldous, Until 15 Dec onepavedcourt.co.uk 42

RICHMOND THEATRE CELEBRATING 120 YEARS

Skate Back In Time Until Sun 6 Jan 2020 Club Tropicana The Ultimate 80s Night, Sat 14 Dec hrp.org.uk/hampton-court-palace 800 YEARS OF ST MARY MAGDALENA CHURCH Exhibition in collaboration with Richmond Museum Until 25 Jan 2020 stmarys800.com DUCK POND MARKET, HERON SQUARE Richmond Foodies market Sat 11am - 4pm Richmond Artisan market Sun 10:30am - 5pm duckpondmarket.com/richmond

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19

Snow White Sat 7 Dec - Sat 5 Jan 2020 Pantomime Educational Tours + Put on A Pantomime Tue 10 - Fri 20 Dec Historical Tours, Until 21 Mar 2020 Some Guys Have All The Luck, The Rod Stewart Story Thu 9 Jan 2020 Moscow City Ballet The Nutcracker Mon 27 - Tue 28 Jan 2020 Moscow City Ballet - Swan Lake Wed 29 - Thu 30 Jan 2020 Sing-A-Long-A The Greatest Showman, film, Mon 24 Feb 2020 Whitney Queen of the Night Sun 1 Mar 2020 The Kite Runner + workshop Tue 10 - Sat 14 Mar 2020 atgtickets.com EEL PIE CLUB Christmas Party! The Eel Pie AllStars & Guests, Wed 8 Dec The Bad Day Blues Band Thu 9 Jan 2020 eelpieclub.com

header

IN KINGSTON, RICHMOND, TEDDINGTON AND TWICKENHAM EEL PIE CLUB

CHRISTMAS MARKET

NORMANSFIELD THEATRE

Mud Morganfield (son of Muddy Waters), Thu 16 Jan 2020

Kingston Ancient Market Place Until 25 Dec

Semele Isleworth Baroque Fri 11 - Sun 13 Dec, 7:30pm New Year Old Vienna Sat 4 Jan 2020, 7:30pm langdondowncentre.org.uk

Mike Vernon & The Mighty Combo, Thu 23 Jan 2020 Bluesclub Band (dedicated to Alan Rogan), Thu 13 Feb 2020 Leaf Hound, Thu 27 Feb 2020 eelpieclub.com ROYAL FESTIVAL HALL Grand Christmas Classics Sun 15 Dec, 3:00pm southbankcentre.co.uk ST MARK’S CHURCH HALL Surbiton Scottish Country Dancing, Thu 5 & Tue 17 Dec 7:30pm - 10:30pm surbitoncaledonian.co.uk ROSE THEATRE The Snow Queen Until Sun 5 Jan 2020 Rose Christmas Snowball Wed 11 Dec, 7:30pm The Muppet Christmas Carol Wed 18 Dec, 5pm & 7:30pm Ben Elton Live 2019 Thu 19 Dec, 8pm The Music of Prince Fri 24 Jan 2020

KINGSTON MUSEUM AND KINGSTON HISTORY CENTRE Family workshops, Thu, 1-4:30pm during school holidays kingston.gov.uk BENTALLS Kingston - Santa’s Grotto, Santa’s Breakfast Club & Santa’s Supper Club (book in advance) eventbrite.co.uk ECLIPSE CHOIR CHRISTMAS CONCERT All Saints Church Dec 14 2019, 7:30 - 10pm allsaintskingston.co.uk SOUL FUSION CHRISTMAS PARTY Kingsmeadow Stadium Sat 21 Dec, 8pm - 3am

LANDMARK ARTS CENTRE Carols by Candlelight Sat 21, 6:45pm & Sun 22 Dec, 4pm A Community Remembers, 75th anniversary of AuschwitzBirkenau, Wed 15 Jan - Sun 2 Feb 2020, 10am-3pm Keith James in Concert The Songs of Leonard Cohen Sat 18 Jan 2020, 7:30pm For a full listing see online landmarksartscentre.org LOVE KINGSTON DAY Fri 14 Feb 2020 Raising funds for communities in Kingston. Various venues around town. love-kingston.org.uk

wegottickets.com NEVER THE BRIDE - LIVE MUSIC Ram Jam Club, Sat 28 Dec 2019 songkick.com

Fascinating Aïda, Sun 9 Feb 2020

GAME OF STONES

God of Carnage Mon 10 - Sat 15 Feb 2020

Follow clues & riddles through Kingston. Play anytime

rosetheatrekingston.org

gameofstonestreasurehunt.com

WOW - WOMEN OF THE WORLD FESTIVAL 10TH ANNIVERSARY Fri 6 - Sun 8 Mar 2020 Southbank Centre For tickets go to thewowfoundation.com

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by Floor, helping and them and providing Tel: 020 8247 0386 valuable connections’ , says Julie HELPFUL WIMBLEDON WEBSITES Roz ana, Love Wimbledon WIMBLEDON, PUTNEY, BALHAM AND STREATHAM 4-8 Kingston Hill, Kingston www.lovewimbledon.org Tel: 020 8546 6388 London Borough of Merton Julie Eltham The French Tarte, www.merton.gov.uk Regional Director, The Athena Network 45 High St, Teddington Citizen’s Advice Tel: 020 8977 6063Bureau t: @athenaSWlondon www.nacab.org.uk Normansfield Theatre, f: TheAthenaNetworkSurrey&SWLondon Merton Chamber of Commerce Langdon Down 07890 523030Centre, www.mertonchamber.co.uk 2A Langdon Park, Teddington e: julie.eltham@theathenanetwork.com Wimbledon Town Centre Organically, www.wimbledontowncentre.co.uk w: theathenanetwork.co.uk/julieeltham 97 High St, Teddington Wimbledon Civic Forum Tel: 020 8977 0421 www.wimbledoncivicforum.org.uk The French Tarte, Wimbledon Society 83 Maple Road, Surbiton www.wimbledonmuseum.org.uk Tel: 020 8399 112 Wimbledon Community Centre Pickled Pantry, www.wimbledoncommunity.org.uk St Mark's Hill, Surbiton Volunteer Centre Tel: 020 8399 4694 Merton www.volunteercentremerton.org.uk The Glasshouse, Learning & Skills Council 14 Coombe Road, New Malden www.lsc.gov.uk Tel: 020 8942 4650 Charity Commission The Place, www.charitycommission.gov.uk 58 High Street, New Malden Wimbledon Music Diary Tel: 0208 241 6591 www.wimbledonmusicdiary.com One Paved Court, Wimbledon Choral Society 1 Paved Court, Richmond, TW9 1LZ www.wimbledon-choral.org.uk onepavedcourt.co.uk | Tel: 020 8408 2139 Local Police/Neighbourhood Watch bhuti, www.met.police.uk/saferneighbourhoods 50 Hill Rise, Richmond, TW10 6UB The Wimbledon Guild A safe and400 effective way to train children and Tel: 0330 3108 www.wimbledonguild.co.uk beginners.

Esquires Coffee Care Connect 37-39lessons King Street Parade, Twickenham, TW1 3SG and Group are great fun for families www.merton.gov.uk/living/care/careconnect Tel: 020 8744 0353 www.centrecourtshopping.co.uk friends who want to learn together.

A&B

Horse Riding Simulator Lessons

WINTER BRIDGE with Bridge Guru Paul Mendelson The Stayman convention was invented by a British guy, but no one seemed that interested.

Then, an American called Sam Stayman saw it, promoted it and made it the world’s most popular bridge gadget.

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North

* Nicholas & Steele 78S Durham KJ98 Rd Tel: 07947 011879 H 96

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D A642 *West Maison St. Cassien, Wimbledon Village East C AQ3 Tel: 020 8944 1200 S Q5 S A72 H A1073 H KJ * Southfields Gallery 223 Wimbledon Park Rd D KJ85 D Q1098 Tel: 07947 675 059 C K105 C J976 South * Truckles Deli on Coombe Lane SW20 S 10643 Tel: 020 8605 2175 H Q8542 D 7 * Aromatica Italian Deli on Leopold Rd C 842 Tel: 020 8944 0309 Dealer South Love All Please call first to check stocks N E S W 1NT NB 2C NB 2S

Opposite a 12-14pt 1NT opener you usually require 11pts to use Stayman. This is so that, if your partner does not have the 4-card major suit you were hoping for, you can return to, at least, 2NT (showing 11/12pts). However, when you are 5-4 in the major suits, you can use Stayman as a weak take-out manoeuvre, promising zero points. This is because, if partner does not match with your major suit, you can still bid your 5-card major at the 2-level and this I still a weak take out.

Harris + Hoole,

On this deal, South knew this and bid 2♣, passing her partner’s 2♠ response. East led 10♦ and North won this and trumped a diamond in dummy. She took the winning club finesse back to her hand and trumped another diamond.

Then, she came back to hand again with A♣ and trumped her last diamond in dummy. Nothing could then stop her from scoring two trump tricks of her own and so, despite holding only 16pts between them, N/S made 2♠. If South had not known this use of Stayman, she would have responded 2♥ - and that contract is close on hopeless..

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24 King St, Twickenham, TW1 3SN IMPORTANT NUMBERS Tel: 020 8891 3212 Wimbledon Police St George’s Hospital Harris + Hoole 020 8947 1212 or (999) 020 8672 1255 135 St. Margarets TW1 1RG Merton Council Rd, St Margarets, Kingston Hospital Tel: 020 8891 6541 020 8274 4901 020 8546 7711 Richmond Theatre, NHS DIRECT National Rail Little 4647 Green, Richmond, TW9 1QJ 0845 08457 484950

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feb-march 2012 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

♥♣♦♠

point of view

Lyndsay Russell

Feeling Uni-fied

I

’m now nearing the end of first term at Kingston Uni - the MFA in Fine Art post graduate course. First four weeks saw the nine of us on the course racing round the campus like a classical greek statue without it’s head; ‘Where’s the Lecture Theatre?’, ‘Who’s got their student card?, (And ‘Why have I got my exhusband’s surname on mine?!’). Mass panic understanding the high-tech campus wi-fi system required for research, bibliography and peer papers.

Philosophical and academic texts to study that might as well be… well, in Greek.

By week five, it had tempered down to, ‘Why are the rolls in the canteen always stale?’, ‘Who stole the last drop of milk from the fridge?’, ‘How to sneak into the Uni Bar parties for free?’

My fellow students are all adorable. Like busy rabbits, we burrow down in a large Victorian warren of studios, sheltering from the cold outside, frantically questioning our work in a flurry of fear and excitement. Days

46

are punctuated by cool gallery visits round the elite circuit as the professors desperately try to instil a sense of what is Contemporary Fine Art. If it’s any comfort to the 99.99% of us philistines out there, it’s insanely hard to define.

in stereo with another artist), but that’s art for you. Mysterious, magical and questioning.

What can’t be questioned is the sensational facilities we now have at our disposal. £79 million spent to keep Kingston Art School in the top echelon.

Vast floors of print screening, digital and textile machines. Giant film and photography studios. Palatial wood and metal cutting areas, a bronze foundry…

Some of the equipment looks as complicated to operate as the Hadron Collider.

Whatever, everyone My class in our green aprons in our class has now earned a Green Apron Whatever, last week I found after a long induction. The ‘pass’ myself at Kingston’s Stanley photo credit Erez Rivlin to work on any machine you dare, Picker Gallery, barefoot, reading it feels more like a Green Beret. a long Japanese Essay written Meanwhile, Assessment Day in 1930 by Kiki Shuzo printed looms. My work is unfinished onto a silk scarf as a work of (another scream emoji). Maybe art. Dear Lord, I am now a as my apron is already covered bona fide performance artist with paint and sculpture dust (NB. Editor - insert scream emoji for disbelief). My friends asked me I could just stand there and say: This is My Body Of Art (smile to translate what I’d said as I got emoji). Sorted. off-stage. It was in bloody English!

(Admittedly, words said statically russellartist.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | winter 19