Daring Woman Magazine - March 2021

DARING WOMAN MARCH 2021

Yoni Magic Emerging

from the Cocoon

e i l l e h S Double Dog . r D y y k s Hip

Dare You

www.BecomingHerBook.com

In This Issue 8 | Double Dog Dare You

26 | Emerging From the Cocoon

11 | Yoni Magic

30 | The Stressed Woman

15 | Celebrate Women

33 | 11 Easy Ways to Spring Clean Negative

20 | The Exorcism of My Mind and Beliefs

Energy From Your Home

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Letter From the Editor It's time to celebrate being a woman! Women's Day is March 8 and we couldn't be prouder to be a woman's advocate!

This issue is filled with cover to cover empowerment and womanhood. From Dr. Shellie Hipsky's Double to Dare to Laurie Jonas' spring cleaning negative energy, you'll find TONS of inspiration, positivity and celebration.

The biggest takeaway I want you to get from this issue and all issues is to CELEBRATE YOU!

Self-care is not selfish. It's necessary. As someone who just learned her health is not where she wants it to be, I've realized it's time to put myself first.

Creating boundaries in work and life, learning to say no, eating healthier, and exercising are just a few of the upcoming changes I'll be making in my life as I embark on a journey of self-care and selfcelebration.

I'd love to hear your tips for self-care. Be sure you are in our Daring Woman Facebook group and share them with the others! Click below to join.

Speaking of clicking...did you know this magazine is interactive? Click on ads, look for blue boxes with live links and visit our advertisers and authors.

Join Us in Our Facebook Group!

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Contributors Julee Hunt Julee Hunt is a Worthiness Warrior who inspires audiences to transform hopelessness, exhaustion, and depression into purpose, playfulness, and meaning. She has a vision to create a world where worthiness is the way for everyone. After a job loss and life pausing illness, she devoted herself to reclaiming her worthiness becoming the leader of her life. She has appeared on the Oprah Show, the Hay House “A Trainer’s Guide to Infinite Possibilities Certification Course,” Infinite Possibilities conferences, and on multiple podcasts. Julee authored the #1 Best Selling book “You Are WORTHY! Even When You Believe Otherwise: A Guide for the Overwhelmed Perfectionist.

Dr. Shellie Hipsky Dr. Shellie Hipsky is the CEO of Inspiring Lives International an “Inc. Verified” motivational media company. The American Chronicle called her “A top entrepreneur in the U.S.,” and The Huffington Post categorizes her as a “Fierce Woman.” She is the president of the nonprofit 501 (c)(3) the Global Sisterhood, a charity that guides and supports women and girls toward their dreams and goals. Dr. Shellie has earned the titles of “Entrepreneur of the Year in Inspiration and Empowerment,” the “Women of Achievement Award,” “Best Woman in Business,” and “VIP Woman of the Year.” Three of her 13 published books, based on 100 amazing interviews from her Empowering Women Radio show, the Common Threads trilogy focused on Inspiration, Empowerment, and Balance, earned international bestseller status. The former tenured professor of Ph.D. students and host of Inspiring Lives with Dr. Shellie on NBC has keynoted internationally from Passion to Profits in Hollywood to The University of Oxford in England. She now teaches her signature EmpowerU Master Class through her VIP 1:1 leadership coaching, thereby making the world her classroom. This powerful entrepreneur and influencer is the founder and editor-in-chief of Inspiring Lives Magazine: The Magazine for Empowering Women. Dr. Shellie has been featured on over 25 magazine covers and on all the major TV networks, and she is delighted to bring the world BALL GOWNS TO YOGA PANTS: Entrepreneurial Secrets to Create Your Dream Business and Brand through Morgan James Publishing. Learn more about Dr. Shellie Hipsky’s mission and how she can support you at www.ShellieHipsky.com

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Helena Smolock CPT-RNC Founder and President of Velocity Athletic Training - Has over 35 years’ experience in the Fitness Industry. Her journey as a Track Athlete in High School led her to a rewarding career in Fitness. Her original career choice was to become a Criminal Lawyer but after spending six months of work experience at the courthouse in Ottawa, Ontario CANADA (Criminal Division) she quickly shifted her mind and gears! Today, Helena continues her journey as a Fitness Professional and as a Master Athlete. She has assisted corporate clients, semi-pro athletes, clients with cancer, heart disease, and postrehab clients with injuries to lead an energetic and healthier lifestyle.

She has led thousands of classes of various levels and with the everchanging industry is certified to teach and lead STEP, SPIN, STRENGTH, AQUA-FIT classes. Participants in each class, as well as, each Personal Training client has experienced her compassionate, firm, technical but comical style of leadership! She continues to remain current in this ever changing industry. Visit her at www.velocityathletictraining.com

Laurie Jonas Laurie is the creative writer at Living Marvelously. Living Marvelously is a blog to share ways for you to make the most of this beautiful adventure that is life. She created the Living Marvelously Journal and recently published the book, The 5 Ls of Living Marvelously. Her articles have been featured on the websites TUT.com, Thrive Global, and Making Midlife Matter. She is an Infinite Possibilities Certified Trainer and Certified Spiritual Coach.

She lives in Minnesota with her husband of 30 years and has raised three beautiful, independent children who live in their own homes across the USA.

Teresa Syms Teresa Syms is a Coach who transforms lives. She is a Life Coach who specializes in taking you through a step by step process to change your habits and patters of life that are stopping you from achieving your dreams, improving relationships and being happy. Her belief is that your past does not define your present or future. Teresa is also the multiple award-winning author of, A Century of Secrets. Her book clearly shows how destructive lies, secrets and abuse can become if swept under the rug for generations. Her mission is to inspire others to break the destructive cycles.

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DOUBLE

DOG DARE YOU D R .

S H E L L I E

H I P S K Y

Truth or Dare My popsicle-sticky hands were raised to my face so no adults could read my lips if they happened to peer into the dimly-lit treehouse. The corners of my lips turned up in a mischievous smile as I whispered to my best friend Carol, “I Double Dog Dare you!”

The other girls squealed and let out “oooohhhsss” as they knew I had thrown down the verbal gauntlet. In my mind as a kid, a Double Dog Dare was the ultimate challenge you could propose to friend during a game of Truth or Dare.

When I played this game as a child, I always thought that by saying “truth” and just not lying was a cop out because it was easy to do that. However, to complete a “dare” it meant I had risked something, gone that extra step, armed with the knowledge that my world (which back then to me was my friend group of four preteen giggling girls at a sleepover) would hold me accountable to do the mission set forth by the friend who propose the dare.

Internal Imaginings Now, I am an adult.

I am whispering right to you.

I Double Dog Dare you to…

With your eyes still shut…

Utilize all your senses: What sensations would you feel, see, taste, smell, and

Close your eyes after you read this paragraph

hear?

and the bullet points below. Once they are

Is your heart racing with exhilaration?

shut, I want you to think of what you truly

Is your head held high in pride and huge

want out of life. What is the dream that you

smile plastered on your face?

always thought was just too out there or too

Imagine walking into a room filled with

big? That thing that you dropped at some

people after you accomplished this great

point in your life, never really got started, or

task that you once thought would be

maybe someone hinted that it was a bad idea?

impossible. Is there a spring to your step?

That’s what I want you to picture in your

A little strut to your walk?

mind’s eye. Envision doing that thing whether it be traveling, winning a coveted award,

Now with your eyes open, grab a sheet of

finishing your novel, or taking a side hustle to

paper or your computer down your dare and

the next level. Imagine how you will feel

how you will feel when you more past the

when you are successful in that goal.

fear, take the risk, and go for your dreams!

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Success Conveyed The last step to set up the dare is to pre-

Or maybe you will plan ahead to enjoy your

determine how you will celebrate and

favorite meal or take a well-earned bubble

communicate to the world that you

bath. Knowing how you will hold yourself

accomplished your goal.

accountable and the way that you will happily celebrate your accomplishment is important.

Will you tell a dear friend or a mentor, post it on social media, or write an article about it in

Go For It!

a blog or magazine?

Or will you remove the image that symbolizes the dare from your Vision Board (if you created one) and move it to a Gratitude Board, so that you can see for yourself that you accomplished that one big thing that you envisioned?

Or maybe you will plan ahead to enjoy your favorite meal or take a well-earned bubble bath. Knowing how you will hold yourself accountable and the way that you will happily

It is time, my friend. I Double Dog Dare you to make your dreams come true. It is worth the risk and the investment of time, energy, and/or money. You deserve the very best!

You are more than enough and worthy of daring to reach for that next level.

This goes beyond a childhood game of Truth or Dare. This is your life and career. Be bold.

Be daring. Be the best version of you that you can be!

celebrate your accomplishment is important.

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YONI MAGIC- THE WORLD'S FIRST VAGINA SUPERHERO an interview with founder, Ariel White What if sex and female anatomy were

DW: What is the purpose behind My Little

normalized in childhood, girls grew up with

Yoni?

an understanding of the changes in their bodies, boys recognized that the female body

AW: My Little Yoni’s is the world’s first

was to be respected, and consent was

vagina superhero. Her purpose is to smash

embedded within the fiber of our society?

shame, celebrate all things vulva, and help parents raise the next generation with age

Daring Woman interviews the founder of My

appropriate sex-ed and female wellness

Little Yoni, to answer just such a question

curriculum.

and more.

She fights for positive and scientifically accurate education, making difficult subjects easier and fun to talk about whether through her collectible charms or Yoni Magic book series.

Daring Woman pg 11

My Little Yoni is OBGYN backed and

Second, this form of sex-ed is typically the

approved. Our board of experts includes

SAME education that parents got, so parents

leadings sex-ed educators, child

don’t even fully understand their own bodies,

psychologists, and influencer moms.

making it uncomfortable to have honest or informed conversations with their kids.

DW: What prompted you to create such a brand?

Layer societal shame and a busy modern lifestyle on top of it and we have an

AW: Having worked in the field of

understandable dilemma where a.) Parents

sexual wellness for 15 years, I wanted

don’t typically realize how important it is to

to affect the root level when it comes to

take control of their kids sex ed, and b.) even

vulva care and sex ed and identified that

when they do, there are limited resources

systemic change starts with moms and the

available to them.

conversations we have with our children.

We cannot expect parents to be prepared I’ve worked with hundreds of women who

when no one adequately prepared them.

have negative attitudes about their vulvas and sexuality, and felt saddened by how much

That’s why My Little Yoni’s new book series

negativity there is for girls and their bodies in

‘Yoni Magic’ covers a wide range of topics

culture.

ranging from vulva anatomy, how babies are made, masturbation, consent and more so that

One night I had a dream where I was

parents can teach their kids everything they

inside the Yoniverse, and there were vulva

need to know about to have healthy sexual

superheros flying all around me. That’s

development.

where the original design came from and that combined with my professional background, is how My Little Yoni got its start.

DW: Why do you think it’s so difficult for parents to talk to their children about sex ed and personal self care?

AW: Many things stop parents from having these conversations. First off, often parents think that sex education in schools will take care of these conversations for them. But in fact, only 17 states require what’s taught in sex ed to be medically accurate!

Furthermore, most of these programs are abstinence based, (a model of sex ed proven to be mostly ineffective,) which means they only cover sexual risk, and are often harmful to young women.

Daring Woman pg 12

DW: You mention teaching about female

Self-pleasure naturally develops younger in

self-pleasure on your website. Don’t you feel

life and is an experience for a girl with her

that’s too intimate to be teaching to our

own body. It doesn’t have anything to do

children?

with anyone else!

AW: This is a taboo subject, and like all our

It is not the same as partner sex at all. So the

content we leave it to parents to discern what

fear that masturbation will lead to earlier

they feel comfortable sharing with their

sexual activity is both unfounded and

children. The reality however, is that

inaccurate. In fact, girls who have a healthy,

masturbation is developmentally completely

active relationship to masturbation/self-

normal and natural for children, beginning at

pleasure typically engage in partnered sexual

young ages. So our stance is that whether you

activity later in life and have an easier time

talk about it or not, it’s happening. The

communicating their needs to partners once

difference is whether it’s happening in the

they do.

context of shame and hiding or openness and honesty.

When girls are left in the dark when it comes to knowing their own vulvas, it’s much more

We aren’t suggesting you bombard your kids

common for them to accept being treated as

with information before they are ready for it,

sexual objects and tolerating painful sexual

but instead to plant the seeds of ‘it’s normal

experiences, mostly because they don’t know

and natural to explore your body in the

the difference or have the language to speak

privacy of your own room.’

about it.

We have parents frequently reporting

But if girls have a direct relationship with

catching their daughters rubbing their

their own vulvas and own pleasure, they are

genitals manually or on objects and are

much more likely to have a voice and more

concerned on how to handle it. We see it as

choice when it comes to partnered sexual

an opportunity to have an honest

relationships later in life.

conversation about what’s appropriate, "Your body belongs to YOU and explore your yoni

There will come a time where children will

in your own private space," vs. condemning

become curious about masturbation, and

the activity overall.

rather than keep it secret, hidden, and let it turn into a taboo topic that they’ll carry

Children develop at different rates, making

shame about, we support parents in learning

masturbation something for parents to be

how to talk about it.

aware of and rehearse having conversations about so that when it becomes relevant, they

DW: Why did you choose the term Yoni

can provide their children with healthy

rather than vagina or vulva?

boundaries, all while supporting normal development without shame.

AW: After interviewing hundreds of women we realized they preferred the word yoni and

We also think it’s helpful to differentiate

what it means: sacred gateway. There can

between sex and pleasure. It’s natural for

also be confusion and resistance when it

anyone with a body - including babies - to

comes to words like vagina and vulva. We

enjoy pleasure.

use the ancient term yoni to represent a

So a girl getting to explore

her own body and vulva actually has little to

honoring relationship to the vulva, to identify

do with sex.

the character of My Little Yoni and to be a

Daring Woman pg 13

doorway into proper anatomical

The other great thing about starting the

conversations where our audience learns the

conversation as young as possible is that

difference between the vagina (the canal) and

children are naturally open and curious.

the vulva (the entire external genitalia.)

When you start the conversation young, you We also like that yoni is a fun, celebratory

quickly learn that all the discomfort is yours

word combating a culture where we

as an adult -- not the child’s. As long as

commonly hear phrases like, “Don’t be a

parents practice and work at getting more

p*ssy,” and other negative rhetoric linking

comfortable, kids can grow up having a

what’s vulvar to weakness or lesser status.

comfortable, natural, open, honest relationship to these subjects.

Picking a word that’s celebratory, rather than something technical or slang, helps girls feel

Having My Little Yoni as a character in the

more comfortable and proud of being a girl

household destigmatizes the vulva from the

and teaches boys the importance of respect

beginning, removing shame, and establishing

and honoring.

female anatomy as normal, natural and the source of life. Having a foundation of proper

DW: Do you think it will ever become

anatomy and sex-ed from young ages helps

normal to openly discuss our vulvas?

prepares kids to not accept porn and other overly-sexualized imagery as reality later in

AW: This is the world we are striving to help

life.

create. Destigmatizing and desexualizing the vulva will only help women, and the men

Unfortunately, for most kids today their first

who love them, feel more comfortable talking

introduction to the vulva is either in porn or

about it.

in sexualized content that then makes proper education and positive attitudes harder to

The one thing I’ve found is that once you

introduce.

start talking to women about their experiences, they quickly realize that they aren’t alone. The shame we typically carry

DW: What else would you like our readers to know?

around our vulva starts falling away when we find the tools and community to start talking about it.

AW: We’ve discovered from talking with our MLY community that most women only start learning about vulva care after an infection!

DW: What age are your products geared towards?

This drives home our mission of wanting women - of all ages - to actively learn about

AW:

While the choice comes down to

parents’ comfort level, we recommend introducing your kids to My Little Yoni

their vulvas from a young age so that they not only can experience pleasure but avoid unnecessary pain.

early. As early as birth! It’s developmentally normal for children to be curious and start asking questions about their bodies and other people’s bodies from a young age.

This is why we have partnered with leading OBGYNs to help pair the fantastical aspects of My Little Yoni with cutting edge science and vulva-care tips that most women miss out on.

Daring Woman pg 14

CELEBRATING WOMEN

Ivana Desanic is a talented and innovative

Now, at 21 years of age, Ivana is thriving in

fine art photographer and visual artist from

West Asheville with her husband and their

Bosnia and Herzegovina.

two dogs. Since moving to Asheville in 2018, her business has flourished in the active art

At a young age, she realized she did not have

community which has allowed her to upgrade

any hope for her dreams in her home country

her equipment.

due to the conservative and oppressive culture against women.

She has cultivated many meaningful personal and professional relationships with creatives

In November of 2016, she made the

in our area thanks to the connections she

courageous decision to move to America in

formed through social media. She loves fine

pursuit of a brighter future. She first lived in

art portraiture with an aethereal, painterly

Salem, WI, with her mother, then came to

aesthetic, and enjoys bringing her

Hatteras Island and spent some time on the

imagination to reality through digital art and

Carolina coast before settling in Asheville in

composite work.

2018.

She has been internationally published At a young age, Ivana knew in her heart that

multiple times and is most proud of the

she wanted to create art. Gifted with an

Adobe design Achievement Award as Top

active imagination and a passion for finding

Talent Photographer in 2019.

beauty in the world, she saved her money and purchased her first camera when she was just

Together with her core team of makeup

18.

artists and hair stylists, Ivana has created a female empowerment project inspired by the

Being a new immigrant to the States without

visuals in Ariana Grande’s 7 Rings music

funding for formal training, Ivana did not let

video. The aesthetic is a blend of her

this obstacle get in the way of her dream. She

signature fantastical style and bold, high

began to search for alternative and accessible

fashion looks with a cotton candy color

education. With diligence, determination, and

palette.

a dauntless work ethic, she began the seemingly impossible task of becoming self-

The goal is to showcase Ivana’s art while

taught. She began pouring over countless

featuring the “who’s who” of women in the

YouTube tutorials and social media accounts

Asheville area from mothers to business

to learn the basics of photography and

owners, members of the LGBTQ+ and

Photoshop.

BIPOC communities and more.

Through local Facebook groups, she

This photoshoot is a joint effort put together

connected with models, makeup artists, hair

by Ivana and her cohort of

stylists and costume designers offering free

creatives.

shoots in order to build a quality portfolio.

Daring Woman pg 16

Daring Woman pg 17

Daring Woman pg 18

Photographer: Ivana Desancic

Makeup: Lindsey Ramseur of Crafted Beauty

Models:

Amanda Anderson of Dollbox

Missy Baker

Productions

Jessica Coffield Ginger Kelley

Hair:

Jenna Wilson

Jenna Wilson of Atlas Beauty

Jessica Davis

Heather Halstead of Atlas Beauty

Jennifer Rodriguez Karis Roberts

Videographer: Dimitri Schemel

Location: Amarx Construction

Sunglasses: L’optique

Daring Woman pg 19

THE

EXORCISM OF MY MIND AND BELIEFS

BY TERESA SYMS

A tiny, crippled baby girl was born on June 7,

She had long, sandy-blonde straight hair,

1960. Unloved and unwanted by her mother,

large dark brown eyes and a smile that lit up

brutalized and sexually assaulted by her

the room, (when she smiled). Teresa was

father, she became her sister’s toy for

complete opposite to her sister. Her looks

torment. This little girl was born with an

attracted a great deal of attention from men

enormous burden to carry. Her name…is

of all ages.

Teresa.

Finding the unwanted attention an invasion to Her deformed legs were straightened at birth

her soul, she grew to believe she was, “FAT

and for the next two years she spent her life

and UGLY.” So why would they approach

in full leg casts with a steel bar between her

her so often?

feet.

At fourteen, Teresa fell in love with a young What this baby needed was love, compassion,

man who was kind, gentle and quiet. They

kindness and nurturing from her family. What

became inseparable, and her confidence

she got was a detached, emotionally unstable

grew. He was her rock and filled a void in her

mother who cared little for her; an alcoholic

life. He loved her and gave her a sense of

father who brutally beat her, and a sister who

security and peace she had never known

hated her very existence.

before. However, as relationships go, theirs became rocky and he began comparing

As Teresa grew, the beatings and

Teresa with other girls he was attracted to.

psychological torture from her family intensified. The girls were left alone before

“Your hair isn’t long or blonde enough.”

and after school. Under the care of her sister,

“She is shorter and thinner and looks hot and

Teresa was never allowed in the kitchen to

sexy in a bikini,” he would comment. With

eat breakfast or make lunch for school. From

each cutting word, Teresa’s confidence

the tender age of five, she existed on one

decreased, and depression grew. When their

meal per day, thus giving life an eating

relationship ended, she found herself isolated

disorder.

and again subjected to her sister’s heartless and cruel criticisms.

If she misbehaved at meal times, her one meal per day was denied as punishment.

Teresa believed she was, “FAT and UGLY,”

Being physically removed from the table,

unwanted and unlovable. To ease her pain,

Teresa was forced to kneel in front of a full-

Teresa turned to alcohol at fifteen years old.

length mirror, on beer bottle caps her father

When alcohol alone no longer numbed her

had nailed to plywood (pointed side up). As

pain, she began mixing it with the

she knelt the spikes of the beer caps dug into

tranquilizers her mother insisted the doctor

her knees. Her sister would flash a sadistic,

prescribe. Her mother believed that

cruel smile and whisper, “You’re FAT and

“medicating her would snap her out of her

UGLY.” The psychological damage was

depression.”

taking root in the little girl’s core beliefs.

During this time, the constant attention from “You’re FAT and UGLY,” was voiced often.

men continued. Still believing she was “Fat

The teasing, torment and torture continued

and Ugly,” Teresa couldn’t understand why

for years, but at the same time, Teresa was

they approached her. When she was partying,

growing tall, athletic, and strong and was

drunk, trying to create an escape, she was

quite attractive.

very vulnerable.

Daring Woman pg 21

In her loneliness, she soon gave into the male

Teresa believed only a weak person would

attention. There was always someone who

allow the violence and verbal battering she

‘wanted’ her, and in time she understood

received daily. A weak individual needs

their motive. They wanted sex.

medication and alcohol to survive. A weak person would accept such destructive, hurtful

Having been sexually assaulted by her father

words.

at ten years old, and by her family doctor repeatedly in her early teens, Teresa assumed

Where was her strength; her fighting spirit;

that giving into sex was how to make

and her truth? She had fallen too far down

someone love you. She knew it was wrong,

into the black pit of self-destruction.

but the desperate need to feel wanted was a powerful drug for her self-destruction.

The words, self-esteem, self-compassion, self-love, and self-awareness were foreign to

During her teen years, Teresa existed on very

her. Teresa believed what she heard. No

little food, lots of alcohol, and prescribed

longer caring about herself by nineteen, her

medication. Her mind was a battlefield for

life hit critical stages. Unable to find comfort

loneliness and confusion. Every day her self-

in the many relationships she had, one night

loathing grew larger while her family life

she decided she had enough. Suicide was the

remained a ticking time-bomb.

answer.

Despite burying herself in many sports, her

The next afternoon, Teresa began drinking

main love was bicycle racing on an indoor

heavily. Never being hungry, she skipped

velodrome. Teresa could never outrun the

dinner and went to her room. Listening to

painful words the plagued her mind. Always

music usually gave her comfort, but this day,

having a larger build than most girls she was

she found it fed her downward spiral. The

strong and well-muscled. The summers of

hate she felt for herself pulled her into the

endless back-breaking tobacco work added

bottle of pills. Nothing changed. That

strength. But it didn’t matter how fit she was,

evening, Teresa got behind the wheel of her

she always saw herself as “Fat and Ugly.”

father’s car. Her destination was a massive

She saw every flaw, every ounce of fat, and

old maple tree in the country. She had

every mark was another battle scar. She saw

memorized the location because she raced her

and lived what became ingrained in her mind.

bicycle past this tree often and knew it was her destiny. The pain in her heart was

By seventeen, Teresa had developed an

unbearable, and she knew there was no fight

untouchable loathing for herself. Her sister’s

left to save herself. Life had been beaten out

words had wormed their way into her very

of her.

existence. She rarely looked into a mirror, and when she did, all she saw was an abused,

Tears streamed down her face as she made

fat and ugly girl looking back at her.

her last turn towards her death. Sobbing uncontrollably at the injustices of her life,

She also saw a borderline alcoholic, who was

Teresa turned the wheels to the right for final

depressed and used sexual encounters to

impact. As the wheels crunched on the

escape the loneliness, isolation and

gravel, a peace washed over her body. She no

psychological abuse of her home life.

longer felt the effects of the pills or alcohol.

She was sober and very aware of her

Mostly what she saw was, weakness.

decision.

Daring Woman pg 22

Seconds before impact, the steering wheel

Believing she had nowhere to go, Teresa

was wrenched sharply to the left, pulling the

stayed and ten days later, with his hand in a

car back on the road. As the vehicle slowed,

cast, they were married. After twenty-five

as voice whispered to Teresa, “You’re Not

years together and having her nose broke two

Finished Here Yet.”

more times, Teresa woke up to the fact her marriage was a battle ground of insanity. The

In shock and disbelief, she turned on the

man she thought she loved had taken the

interior lights expecting to see someone with

place of her sister and she was fighting back.

her. She was alone and crying out a lifetime

Nothing she did was right. She was always

worth of pain. Teresa felt comfort and

compared to others; she spoke incorrectly,

encouragement. Later, as she lay in her bed,

walked wrong, acted wrong, everything about

Teresa knew she had just received a miracle.

her was wrong! She had lost all confidence in herself.

Soon her sister was no longer part of her life, having become pregnant at seventeen and

Later, unable to work due to a back and

then married off. Even though there was no

shoulder injury, Teresa’s children became her

contact, she still heard the words, “Fat and

world. She cooked, cleaned, and tried

Ugly.” She heard them in her own head, she

desperately to give them a home where they

heard them attached to every good comment

were loved and wanted. Unfortunately, as the

she received, always believing people were

years went by, her sons learned from their

lying to her.

father how to treat her.

In time, Teresa met and moved in with a

Now at forty years old, Teresa knew she had

young man she believed was her soul-mate.

one chance. She enrolled in college to

Believing this was love, Teresa gave

reeducate herself, while keeping her plans of

everything she had to this relationship. The

her freedom to herself. Over the years her

beginning was good, until he embarrassed her

weight had increased, leaving her husband

by passing out drunk at a party. She verbally

with a sense of dominance over her. He took

chastised him but was unprepared for his

great pleasure in criticizing her. “Look at

reaction. His response destroyed her world.

you!” he would say. “Who would want you?”

The back of his hand smashed across Teresa’s nose causing a loud crunching noise

Despite his comments, her plan was set, and

and temporarily blinding her. Stopping the

she would soon be free of him. At forty-

car in the middle of the road, she grabbed her

three, Teresa moved out on her own and went

face expecting to find blood. When her sight

to college full time. Soon she met and fell in

returned, she noticed he was asleep in the

love with a great man, who worshiped her,

passenger seat. Silently sobbing, she drove

and supported her. Both had been abused by

home, then left him asleep in the car and

their former spouses and understood triggers.

walked into the house.

They provided each other with healing love.

Later, he came crashing into the house to

When Teresa turned forty-six, she graduated

confront her, and she stood her ground.

college and landed a great job in Human

While this 6’ 6” angry man cursed at her, it

Resources. Life was incredible! Her boys

was when his fist came flying at her face, she

visited regularly, and her live-in step sons

quickly moved which caused the contact with

were showing signs of growth.

the door to break his hand. Hours later he begged her to drive him to the hospital.

Daring Woman pg 23

In 2006, Teresa married Don. They were

My life-long passion of writing came into

happy, courageous and faced every challenge

play as I dove deep into my second passion

together.Eight months later, Teresa was

of helping people through their darkest times

almost killed in a head on car accident.

in life.

Seconds before the impact, as she screamed

Despite my background, I was always the go-

out in terror, she heard, “You’re Not Finished

to person when people had problems. I

Here Yet.”

immersed myself into becoming a Certified Life and Assertiveness Coach, which not only

Severely injured, as she waited for the

helped me with residual painful issues, but

emergency transport, she was unable to

provided me clarity and a solid understanding

swallow the fear in her throat. Unable to feel

of the words, “You’re Not Finished Here

her legs or move her neck she felt betrayed

Yet.”

once again by life. She lost her job and spent the next several years in treatment for a brain

By working with my hypnotherapist and

injury, muscle damage throughout her body,

creating a ‘safe’ place for the “little,

her third severe whiplash, severe spinal

neglected and abused Teresa” to grow up in, I

damage and Post Traumatic Stress.

healed my wounds and am now armed with an understanding of human behaviour.

All the horror that was her past life flooded back and compounded her now broken body

As a Coach, I encourage my clients to stand

and fragile mind. “Why?” was her only

in front of their mirrors and embrace every

question. This question went unanswered for

beautiful detail of themselves. Even the

several years.

flaws.

# # #

After surviving years of abuse, neglect, humiliation, depression, I have learned the art

Several years after my accident, I explored

of self-compassion, self-love and finally,

hypnotherapy, past life regression therapy,

self-respect. I can look in a mirror and know

and received exceptional guidance and care. I

the words, “Fat and Ugly,” are not me. I look

walked into my own life and true power for

into the dark brown eyes and see a woman

the first time.

who has survived many traumatic events and is strong and beautiful. I am a woman who

I found my courage and felt stronger than I

protected her loving, kind and compassionate

had ever been. In time, I was able to

heart.

understand and come to peace with the abuse and trauma that was my past life.

As I age, I understand I can never be the athlete I once was, or the young woman who

Continuing my journey, I wrote my first

modelled bridal clothes. I have curves where

book, “A Century of Secrets,” where I expose

I don’t really want them as well as greying

the horrors of my life, the neglect and trauma

hair and wrinkles, but all of those things add

that almost destroyed me, and the cycles of

up to make me who I am…I am beautiful, and

abuse, and self-destruction that has

when I allow my inner light to shine through,

encompassed generations of my family.

I feel what the creator made inside of me…a heart that will be forever giving and an advocate for those who do not see their own beauty and worth.

Daring Woman pg 24

EMERGING FROM THE COCOON

BY JULEE HUNT

The darkness of winter reminds me of being

listened to Trauma Release podcasts from

inside a cocoon.

Daring Woman (https://daringwomaninc.com/stories/),

For me, it is a time to go within and listen to

worked with a doctor who could remove

the wisdom that I sometimes ignore. I spend

trauma energy stored deep within my cells,

more time in meditation, journal more pages

and I journaled and journaled and journaled.

each day, and read more books that fill my

Little by little, I could feel the trauma release

soul.

from my body.

With Spring, there is a renewal happening

You see, I was born with a huge dose of

outside in the world. Flowers are peeking

fairness, a strong sense of honesty, and a

through the dirt beautifying our world. Days

voice to stand for both. I had suppressed most

are getting longer as the early darkness of

of it though and let my voice go silent as a

each day fades away. I am reminded to

coping mechanism. If I don’t speak, I

get outside more and let Mother Earth share

cannot be abused.

her bounty and her energy with me.

I pulled Oracle cards. The first question I I feel like a butterfly emerging from my

asked was, “What message do you have for

winter cocoon, shedding my winter wrap, and

me about past traumas?”

seeing my transformation as I learned to fly with my new wings.

The answer was clear. My positive focus and willingness to receive had opened the door to

I suddenly have the urge to clean out every

an abundance of help and opportunities. This

drawer and closet in my home. A symbol of

is when the

making room for the new wisdom I gained

Trauma Course appeared in my email

during the winter months in my cocoon. A

inbox

sweeping out of the old and making space for

When Daring Woman started the Trauma

the new. I feel lighter and want to skip

Release podcasts

instead of walk.

A friend shared with me about a doctor who helped her release trauma from her

My winter was spent doing trauma work. My

body.

Dad died in 2020 and even though I had forgiven him for the abuse he inflicted on me

The second question I asked was, “What

as a child, after he died, I realized that I had

message do you have for me about present

deeper wounds that I had suppressed. I had

trauma?

created coping mechanisms that were inhibiting me from living life full-out.

Again, the wisdom was spot on. I was in for some sensitive emotions and could expect

All this came to the surface soon after his

times of heightened emotions and sensitivity.

death. So not only was I dealing with the

This calls for extra self-care and gentleness.

daily traumas that unfolded in 2020, but I

This was when I:

was also dealing with my own internal childhood trauma. It was a rough year. I was

Found myself crying daily for the pain

glad for winter to arrive so I could go into the

people in the world were going through

cocoon and work through all of it.

regarding the pandemic

I took a trauma release course from Dr. Laura

Felt a profound sadness and grief

Koniver (https://www.intuition-

regarding my own childhood trauma

physician.com/),

Daring Woman pg 27

Doubled up on my self-care by

6. Explain a positive decision that you’ve

meditating twice a day, journaling more,

made as a result of what you went through.

and spending more time in nature and

From this one trauma, I chose to parent

contemplation.

differently. I parented with loving kindness, non-violent communication, and positivity. I

The third question I asked was, “What

chose to break the cycle of abuse.

message do you have for me about future traumas? Because you are doing trauma release work, the future will be filled with ceremonies and celebrations. This is when I: Decided to celebrate the progress I was making in my trauma release journey Added a releasing ritual as I finished the work on each trauma Realized that by doing this work now, I was preparing myself to handle trauma more easily in the future.

Dr. Laura Koniver gave me eleven journaling questions. She is the Intuition Physician and I have followed her for years. She taught me

7. Write about a strength, a personality shift,

that the body can heal itself when given the

or a capacity that you have now that the

right fuel. Fuel can be food, movement, or

trauma created in you. I have an ability to

self-talk.

love my own child deeply and unconditionally because of my trauma. I’m a

1. What trauma did you survive? Write out

survivor, am thriving, and have learned to

every little detail. It all bears wisdom. I

love myself. I also know I can depend on

feverishly wrote the whole traumatic

myself.

event.

8. If you knew your best friend had to go

2. How did you survive it? This is where I

through the exact same trauma, what advice

could see my coping mechanisms.

would you give them beforehand? I would let

3. Who believed in your ability to survive

her know she is lovable just because she is

this? Imagine my surprise when it was “Me”

here. That is her power. Don’t ever let

that was one of the believers.

anyone tell you differently and don’t ever

4. What part of your body carries your pain

give your power away to someone

and why? I listened to every ache, pain, and

else. Your truth is your truth. Not what other

disappointment in my body and was able to

people think.

see where I was carrying my trauma.

9. If you knew your best friend had just gone

5. If you could only leave yourself with one

through that exact same trauma and was

sentence on it, what would you say to your

feeling the same way you feel now, what

past self who is still in the middle of the

advice would you give them? Dig deep – see

abuse? The powerful message was, “This one

yourself through my eyes – no one earns the

incident does not define you or make

right to tell you that you are unlovable. Hold

you unlovable.” Wow!

on to your inner wisdom – see your magnificence and let that person go even if they are a relative. They are dealing with their own demons and insecurities and taking it out on you. That is not OK. You are a child of God and God doesn’t make junk.

Daring Woman pg 28

10.

What is your biggest wish in this

These eleven questions are an exercise you

lifetime? That this trauma no longer impacts

can use over and over. I decided to do one for

my life negatively. What can move you

every trauma I had experienced in my life.

closer to this goal? Do the trauma work and

My trauma release journey continues and

release the trauma and the coping

each day I feel stronger and more confident.

mechanisms. I absolutely can turn this around

With spring emerging, it f eels like I am

and heal.

coming out of the trauma cocoon and

11. God has read your story and written you a

transforming into a beautiful butterfly.

letter. What does God say? Advice? Words of comfort? Explanation? Apology?

What a metamorphosis this work offers.

Dear Julee, You are a child of mine made from the purest love of all, my love. You were born in perfection and here to live an imperfect life.

You are lovable as you are. You do not need to change who you are for approval from others. Approve of yourself and teach others how to treat you. Those who are unconscious or too deep in their own despair will not get it. Send them love and let them go! You are magnificence in motion. You are made of love, you are love, and you are lovable. This experience will teach you that more than a person who never experiences trauma. You are brave and courageous. You got this! You are doing the inner healing work removing the coping mechanisms holding you back.

Forgive your parents. They came into the marriage with so much baggage. They did not have the support system you have. Know that they loved you dearly. They just didn’t always know how because they lacked selflove. I know you are strong enough to do this healing work. Take my hand. I’ll be your guide and wisdom keeper!

I love you unconditionally!

God

Daring Woman pg 29

BY HELENA SMOLOCK CPT-RNC

10 DIYS FOR YOUR BEACH TRIP The Stressed Woman

In the days where our grandmother’s had the

According to the American Psychological

opportunity to take care of the household on

Association (APA) –

a full-time basis, in today’s world, the role of women has changed since that time period.

Women are more likely than men (28 percent vs. 20 percent) to report having a

Working mothers make up a significant

great deal of stress (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point

part of the labor force, accounting for

scale).

nearly one-third (32%) of all employed women.

Almost half of all women (49 percent) surveyed said their stress has increased

There were around 23.5 million employed

over the past five years, compared to four

women with children under the age of 18

in 10 (39 percent) men.

and nearly two-thirds worked full-time, year-round, according to the U.S. Census

Women are more likely to report that

Bureau’s 2018 American Community

money (79 percent compared with 73

Survey (ACS). (Information published in

percent of men) and the economy (68

May 2020)

percent compared with 61 percent of men) are sources of stress

With these statistics, a hidden condition

while men are far more likely to cite that

which has a negative impact on a woman’s

work is a source of stress (76 percent

overall health – This condition we call

compared with 65 percent of women).

STRESS sets in. Waking up early, get the kids ready for school, drop them off at

Women are more likely to report physical

school, rush over to a full-time job and

and emotional symptoms of stress than

depending on the work environment, your

men, such as having had a headache (41

day may be a good one, or a stressful

percent vs. 30 percent), having felt as

one.

though they could cry (44 percent vs. 15 percent), or having had an upset stomach

Add into the equation - financial stress,

or indigestion (32 percent vs. 21 percent)

women most often do have lower

in the past month.

salaries than men. The next day you hit the repeat button and back on the rollercoaster ride we call responsibility and life.

Daring Woman pg 31

What are the remedies to Stress?

Intensity – Your Personal Trainer will assist you in developing a sound workout program

1. Create Balance - As women, we most

according to your exercise level. (Beginner,

often, spread ourselves thin. We take on so

Intermediate, Advanced)

much responsibility. It is written within our DNA to nurture and uphold our environments

Type – What type of fitness and or physical

so that everything is in equilibrium. In order

activity are you ready to incorporate? To

for everything to be in equilibrium, you must

define – Exercise & Fitness activity is a

first create BALANCE. Balance, is created

structured workout routine usually created by

when you decide to take what’s not important

an instructor and or a Personal Trainer.

and break free from it. Thus, learn the art

Physical activities include walking,

of “Let it go”. The less baggage there is to

gardening, shoveling snow etc.

carry the more you create BALANCE. Time – How long will you engage in fitness 2. Create Boundaries – If you’re a woman who says “YES” to everything and everyone

and physical activity? Rule of thumb – 30 minutes is a great starting point.

and have and view yourself as the last one on the list to creating balance, then you have not created any boundaries. Learn to say “NO” to requests from family, friends, and coworkers.

5. SPAAAAH! – Taking time away to visit a SPA is another great way to release STRESS. A back massage, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, a body wrap…AAAHHH. It’s an opportunity to close your eyes, download the

3. Journal - Your journal is a tool which provides a roadmap, a vision of your day to day life scenarios. It will put things into perspective for you to make changes, to

clutter in your mind and release negative emotions and thoughts. As well, it’s an opportunity to have someone else take care of YOU!

create balance, to create boundaries as well as have you understand your feelings and thoughts in your day to day activities with others and most importantly within yourself.

6. Hormonal Testing - Aside from aging, STRESS creates havoc on the female hormonal system. While PMS, Perimenopause, Menopause are a natural part

4. FITT – Incorporating a Health and Lifestyle change is very important in reducing STRESS and in maintaining optimal energy levels throughout your day. By integrating the FITT principle you create a roadmap

–

of aging, these are processes we experience during certain intervals of life. STRESS can accelerate hormonal imbalance and activate underlying health issues which include but not limited to Heart Disease, Diabetes, Hypothyroid, Hyperthyroid and Eating disorders.

Frequency – How often are you going to schedule time to go to the gym to work out?

7. Last but not least – Hold YOURSELF in

How often will you schedule with your

high regard. Understand that it is NOT

Personal Trainer, Yoga instructor? Ex. 2 – 3

selfishness to put yourself first.

times per week.

Daring Woman pg 32

11 Easy Ways to Spring Clean Negative Energy From Your Home

by Laurie Jonas

Spring is just around the corner, and it will

11 Ways to Clear Negative Energy from

soon be time to clean out all of the cobwebs

Your Home

and dust that have accumulated in the dark corners all winter. But, while you are at it,

Open your windows. Just letting some fresh

don’t forget to clear out all of the negative

air in can immediately alter any heaviness.

energy in your home at the same time.

You could also use a broom or your hands to “shoo” the negative energy out. Imagine it all

Our homes are an extension of our own

going out the window.

thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Have you ever walked into a home and just noticed the

Crystals. Place crystals around your home.

heaviness in the air? Maybe someone was ill,

According to an article on Power of

or there was some arguing going on.

Positivity, here are 5 that will do the trick.

• Black Tourmaline acts like a sponge that

Our homes are where secrets lie. It’s often

absorbs negative energy and offers

where we let go of our emotions and where

protection.

we air our “dirty laundry.” It should be a safe

• Amethyst carries with it a strong ability to

place, so we tend to let it all out in our homes

purify and protect the space and cleanse any

where no one else can see us.

heavy energy in one’s aura.

• Fire Agate is a fiery stone that can make

How do you know you have negative energy

you feel more alive and give you a sense of

in your home?

purpose, which will help to dispel negative energies.

Are you…?

• Jet Stone carries with it an energy of great strength and protection to those who wear it.

• Feeling a little off

It is also used to prevent psychic attacks and

• Finding yourself complaining a lot

remove negative energies from your aura that

• Trying to find your voice

have been embedded from exposure to

• Not in the mood to go anywhere

others’ energies.

• Confused about how to reach your goals?

• Obsidian is a highly spiritual stone, carrying with it great metaphysical powers. It

That negative energy can build up just like

protects against negative entities, and your

dust or grime and needs to be cleared out.

aura will quickly become purified.

Just like changing the batteries in your fire

Houseplants. Plants are a natural filter for

alarms, make it a habit every time you spring

negative energy. Having houseplants or even

clean.

small bouquets of fresh flowers can help.

Lavender, eucalyptus, and white sage are powerful energy clearing plants.

Daring Woman pg 34

Burn Incense. You probably thought I was

Have Fun and Bring Love Into Your

going to start with this one. When I think of

House. Once your house is clean and cleared,

clearing negative energy, I picture a spiritual

do a happy dance with your favorite music

healer dressed in robes and lots of bracelets

blaring! Or have a party and invite your

walking around the house with burning sage

favorite people. Use your house as a positive,

humming mantras. Well, nowadays, there are

high energy place for lots of love to flood in.

ways for you to do this yourself. I bought all of my kids some Palo Santo Incense Sticks

Don’t Forget to Clear Your Own Energy

for Christmas. Palo Santo is often used for

Too. All of this can only work if you are also

purification and is said to possess healing and

working on not bringing more negative

cleansing powers. They all used it to clear

energy into your home. By all means, use

their homes. I used mine to change the

your home as a safe place to express

energy in my office.

emotions, but also be aware if you are letting it linger.

Buy a Himalayan Salt Lamp. You have seen these and probably have one but wondered about the benefits. Here are a few. It improves air quality, mood, sleep quality, energy levels and is an environmentally friendly light source.

Re-arrange Furniture. Mix things up. Give yourself new views or vantage points. Create newness without having to spend any money.

You could also swap out pillows or decorations with brighter, lighter feeling ones.

Get Rid of Clutter. Clear out all of the piles you may have been accumulating over the winter—extra papers, magazines, books, heavy coats, boots, etc. Do a seasonal purge of your closet. Make sure you love the decorations in your home. Do the Marie Kondo method and make sure you love everything you have displayed. If not, it goes!

Remove or Repair Things That are Broken. This may have already been taken care of while you were uncluttering, but be sure to remove, repair, or replace anything that is not working. Broken, unreliable pieces in your home do not attract a peaceful, loving atmosphere

Daring Woman pg 35

A few ways to clear negative energy in

Go on a little treasure hunt for items that

yourself:

bring you good energy. Look for photos, mementos, candles, books, or anything that

• Meditate

elicits a sacred feeling to you.

• Write affirmations in your journal • Exercise vigorously

Maybe you have a special heirloom from a

• Yoga or Pilates

deceased loved one. Whatever you include,

• Take a hot shower

make it beautiful!

• Be grateful • Breathe deeply

Taking the time to clear negative energy is

• See a therapist or healer for cupping,

something we should do regularly. Tie it to

massage, or acupuncture.

other habits you have in your life; that might

• Pray

be Spring Cleaning at this time of year.

• Help Others • Set a daily intention for a good day

As I have said before, you can’t be positive

• Be active in doing things you love to do

all of the time, but you need to be aware when your negativity takes over and do what

Create a Sacred Space. After you have

you can to clear it out.

cleared your house, create a sacred space to do the things that promote positive energy in

“Energy is contagious, positive, and negative

yourself. Your sacred space can be anywhere

alike. I will forever be mindful of what and

you can get some privacy. Find meaningful

who I am allowing into my space.” Alex Elle

items already in your house before you buy anything new.

“If you want to attract positive things into your life, then begin now by spreading positive energy about.” Lynda Field

Daring Woman pg 36

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