Daring Woman Magazine - February 2021

DARING WOMAN FEBRUARY 2021

Embracing Your Vulnerability is Your Superpower

What I Wish White America Understood

In This Issue 8 | My Journey From Self-Repression to

23 | Black Lives Matter

Spiritual, Artistic Messenger

28 | Embracing your ‘Vulnerability’ is a

13 | Sound Mind, Active Body, Prescription

Superpower!

Drug Free

33 | Your Recovery

17 | February is Black History Month 19 | What I Wish White America Understood

Daring Woman pg 3

Letter From the Editor The past year has put us through some major turmoil with COVID, Black Lives Matter, and of course, the US election.

As we settle into 2021, now is a time for us to focus on healing. As individuals, as communities, as countries.

We’ve lived in anger and hatred for far too many centuries and it’s time to come together as a collective to empower each other. To heal each other. To love each other.

February is Black History Month and I encourage you, dear reader, to take this time to educate yourself on what it’s like being Black in our world today, especially here in America. Now is the time to listen, learn, love.

You can’t fix broken with hate. You fix broken with love, with compassion, with

Coming from a place of love and compassion, we

understanding.

tend to be more tolerant, more open minded and more willing to have conversations rather

You fix broken by creating change.

than arguments. When we come from love and compassion, we care about our fellow

And that’s what we need right here, right

humans and we stand up for what is right.

now…change.

Our society is broken. And you can’t fix broken

It won’t happen overnight, but it can and will

with anger.

happen.

Join Us in Our New Facebook Group!

Click Here

Daring Woman pg 5

Contributors Julee Hunt Julee Hunt is a Worthiness Warrior who inspires audiences to transform hopelessness, exhaustion, and depression into purpose, playfulness, and meaning. She has a vision to create a world where worthiness is the way for everyone. After a job loss and life pausing illness, she devoted herself to reclaiming her worthiness becoming the leader of her life. She has appeared on the Oprah Show, the Hay House “A Trainer’s Guide to Infinite Possibilities Certification Course,” Infinite Possibilities conferences, and on multiple podcasts. Julee authored the #1 Best Selling book “You Are WORTHY! Even When You Believe Otherwise: A Guide for the Overwhelmed Perfectionist.

Kelly Robinson Kelly is a writer and a coach. With a background in social work, Kelly has built a rich career as a leader in healthcare. She has a knack for holding space for you in a way that allows for you to feel truly heard and seen. Kelly's style of motivational interviewing can help you reframe barriers allowing for you to access your true essence and potential. Added to Kelly's perspective is lived experience, she knows the courage and tenacity it takes to see and feel the truth and she knows that real healing, even thriving, is possible.

Raphaela Gilla

Raphaela Gilla is a singer, vocal-medium, musician, and spiritual guide. She was born and raised in Israel and is based in London and Berlin. Her spiritual roots are the deep inspiration for her work as a messenger from an ancient shamanic tribe. Using her heavenly gifts that come from a divine source, she channels the ancient knowledge and sound-beings through vocals, melodies, compositions, and sounds.

Daring Woman pg 6

Sabrina C. Nelson, CPC Sabrina C. Nelson, PMP, FMP, CPC is an author, motivational speaker and project management professional. As a Certified Life Coach, she provides guidance to her clients on how to tap into their greatest potential, passion and purpose. Ms. Nelson received the ‘Life Coach of The Year Award’ in London from her peers, which was a major accomplishment for her. In addition, she is committed to building communities through advocacy, volunteering with organizations committed to uplifting underserved communities. She has received numerous awards for excellence in leadership, commitment to empowering women, outstanding achievement in her industry and profession.

Jessica Bonner-Gomez Jessica holds a double-major BA in English/Communication Studies from Samford University, a MA in English from the University of Alabama at Birmingham, and a BS in Communication Science Disorders as well as a MS in Speech-Language Pathology from the University of Montevallo. Having worked as an English composition adjunct professor, tutor, and speech-language pathologist, she cherishes education and believes it should be available to all who want to receive it. Helping students see skills they probably don't recognize is a major reason she started her tutoring/editing business For Other Prizes Consulting in 2016.

Nijiama Smalls Author of The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds Series and CEO of the Emotional Wellness Hub, Nijiama Smalls is a writer, emotional coach, and speaker. She has written for various publications and spoken on numerous platforms on the topics of healing emotional wounds, emotional intelligence, self-love, and destroying generational patterns.

Yasmin Abdelsalam I’m Yasmin, an Egyptian-American Muslim born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. I recently started the Master Peace Blog to help spread more peace, love, and positivity in the world. My goal is to help you master both inner peace and world peace by tackling different mental health and social justice issues. I also love travel, fashion, and decor, so I try to share my best tips with you as I go through the journey of life!

Daring Woman pg 7

MY

JOURNEY FROM SELFREPRESSION TO SPIRITUAL, ARTISTIC MESSENGER / RAPHAELA GILLA /

THE CHOICE OF MY PARENTS AND

He, too, was unable to study and develop his talent

ANCESTORS

professionally.

Music was always deep in my blood. Since early childhood, my biggest passions have been singing

My great ancestors were talented singers and

and music. My dream was always to be a singer

cantors who sang and celebrated their connection

and musician. As a child, I felt like a stranger in

with God and the Jewish community. They had

my own family. My family never really knew who

artistic gifts but, like my parents and grandparents,

I was. I think they were afraid to see me for who I

didn’t take these skills seriously as their

truly am - a wild, highly sensitive artist. So I grew

profession, soul mission, and heavenly gift. They

up lonely, around strangers who never knew what

didn’t feel worthy. Societal pressures and

my true needs were.

expectations influenced them to choose not to believe in their artistic ability - that it could

I was born and raised in the conventional,

nourish them and their families materially and

chauvinist, patriarchal society of Israel. This

spiritually - that it could bring them beyond the

society spurned any qualities that may have

fear of survival.

been perceived as feminine - traits like showing emotion, softness, gentleness, or an ability to be

SELF REPRESSION

nurturing.

As a singer and musician, I, too, felt the expectations to be conventional - to have a

My parents both worked in the army, my mother

successful career, like my mother. I sang the same

as a high general with a very successful career.

song my ancestors before me sang - the one that

The army was only concerned with achievements,

said a successful career was based on the

fast results, and power. As a result, my parents

achievements and goals of the masculine ego. I

didn’t have much time to spend with my sister or

was supposed to be like everyone else. There was

me. We were so-called “latchkey children”.

no place nor time to be different, sensitive, spiritual, or an individualist. I was not yet ready to

My parents had also been artists before they

make my own choices, so I forced myself to adjust

decided to “be reasonable” and “work normal

to the expectations of my environment like my

jobs”. My mother was a remarkable singer, actor,

ancestors’ generations before me (and the

writer and painter. My father was a highly

conservative society I lived in) called for.

sensitive and artistic writer who was also gifted in music and art. They were influenced by the

Growing up in a family filled with dark secrets,

expectations of their parents and society to be

both mental and physical (unspoken) sicknesses,

financially safe in this world. When they made

felt like being raised underneath a dark shadow

this decision, they weren’t able to consider the

- one filled with loneliness, suffering, shame,

high spiritual price that they would ultimately pay

guilt, sadness, neglect, isolation, and rejection.

for their “practical choice”.

Could it be that everyone in my family were Their series of “practical choices” began with my

disconnected from their souls, too? That they were

grandmother - a talented singer who gave up her

divided from their instincts, or worse,

passion to make a living as a cleaning woman. She

disconnected and divided from their souls’ paths?

did what she needed to in order to survive. My

Could it be that the deep sorrow and suffering was

grandfather was a draftsman who invented

not just mine?

machines and sketched technological designs.

Daring Woman pg 9

Was I feeling the suppressed pain and suffering of

in order to grow and self-actualize. For most of

the many generations before me?

my life, I hadn’t been able to hear the call of my Spiritual Guides. When I first heard my inner

On one hand, my family members recognized my

voice, I didn't believe or trust it, and I was afraid

talents, my high spiritual sensitivity, and my

of it.

artistic gifts — but on the other hand, they still expected me to be a “good girl” and go in the

But no matter how much fear, doubt, or mistrust

“reasonable” direction they and their parents had

consumed me, I did not give up. I remained open-

chosen to go. And for many years, I suppressed

hearted as I began holistic vocal lessons with

my own inner voice, remained separated from my

a shaman teacher who helped me open the gates to

own instincts, and divided from my true inner

my true power and to Mother Earth. I took

being. I wanted to satisfy their expectations and

alternative dance and Yoga classes, which opened

needs. I wanted to be a good girl. I wanted to

my body and soul even more to the spirituality

belong and be loved by my dominant mother and

that had always been strongly planted in my true

deteriorating father.

being. With these practices, I became ready to receive the messages and signs that were sent to

Over time, I understood that my parents and their

my soul to show me the right path. The call from

parents weren't aware of other possibilities, and as

the spiritual world got stronger and louder. My

a result, they allowed fear to control their life's

spiritual guides answered my endless questions,

choices. The talents they recognized in me forced

showing me the way back home to my instincts

them to face the suppressed side of themselves.

and my soul’s path.

After a lengthy and challenging process of forgiveness after my parents’ passing, I ultimately

With soft, gentle tones immersed in unconditional,

made peace with them, and more importantly,

eternal love, I heard them say "We will speak and

with myself.

sing to you until you hear us”. I couldn't ignore it, but I was so scared - terrified to lose control and

LISTENING TO THE INNER CALLING: MY

all that I thought I was. Their direction was

INDEPENDENT CHOICE

entirely new, yet somehow familiar to me at the

After finishing my formal music and vocal studies,

same time.

I formed my own rock band, where I served as both leader and songwriter. My true nature, my

EARLY EXPERIENCES WITH MY

soul, and my instincts were forces to be reckoned

SPIRITUAL GUIDES

with! They started to appear in my dreams at night

My first spiritual awakening was in 1996.

and knocked on the doors of my heart. They began

My first date with my spiritual guides was a

presenting options that were not influenced by my

painful chaos - spirit and body meet for the first

biological family, my society, or what I used to

time after many years of separation. They want to

know.

get married, and the soul is the matchmaker. This reunion felt like a new birth, which included pain -

It took a lot of courage, strength, and faith to go

I felt I was losing my identity. My mind opened

on my own special way. I began to ask questions

up for multi-dimensional messages about what I

and search for answers in the spiritual world, as I

was like in my past incarnations and what will

wasn’t receiving answers in my normal

happen in the world tomorrow. I predicted

environment. My instincts were calling me to

events reported in the news the day before they

wake up, to hear what my talents and gifts needed

happened.

Daring Woman pg 10

I drew biometric forms and schemas in a way of

DAILY PRACTICES

automatic, channeled writing. I heard a voice in

Since our blessed introduction, I have dates with

my mind that told me to stay calm, remember who

my Guardian Angel often. I’ve learned to see and

I am, and stay centered.

understand its angelic messages, the energetic, sacred meaning of numbers, how to hear and sing

I was visually presented a demon, my shadow,

its music, and to feel its loving presence. The

above my left shoulder and an angel, my light,

meetings with my angel uplift me, and from now

above my right shoulder. Two polar sides

on, they continually bring me more heavenly love

coexisted inside of me and said, “Now make a

and joy.

choice between us.” It was as if something had possessed me. I thought that I would split in half!

In 2010, I started to receive messages and

It was terrifying. Did I have two personalities? I

information about my highest soul purpose and the

began to worry I was suffering from

service that I'm here for. I felt the essential

schizophrenia, but underneath the fear and noise,

presence of Divine Feminine deep in my body and

there was a protective voice in my head again. It

spirit, and I learned the role I would play in

was my own personal guardian angel!

bringing this Ancient Goddess wisdom back into the world.

I chose the angel on my right side.

The Heavenly Team Of Spiritual Guides I work Thus began my spiritual healing journey. It came

with today speak through my voice, my music

to me so strongly and clearly because I asked for it

and, my messages. They help me every day. They

and was ready, but I didn't yet have a clue how to

say I'm the only living, creative artist left from my

use these powerful gifts. They had been with me

family and ancestors - I’m singing their unheard

my entire life but, until this point, they remained

voices. These beings from Higher Dimensions

deeply suppressed inside me. I didn't know

support me and communicate with me - I hear

how to use the spiritual power I was born with.

their melodies, messages and sounds, and I

Inside, I felt confusion mixed with a loss of

channel them to the world. Ancient Shaman

identity, and I knew I had to heal myself

beings, ancient Goddesses, energies, my Guiding

somehow.

Star, angels, archangels, unicorns, fairies, my Ancestors, and the beautiful souls of my parents

And then She came into my life, shining bright on

are all a part of my beloved Spiritual Guides.

me like a Morning Star - a holistic doctor for the

They all help me to radiate love, healing, and

mind, soul and spirit. This woman was

balance in myself and the world.

my spiritual mother, my sister, and my salvation.

She was also a writer who gave me her poems to

Now, every day is a date with my beloved helper

put to music and turn into songs. Both she and

team. I wouldn't be who I am today without their

these songs guided my soul to know, cherish and

eternal support and the steps I’ve taken to

love myself. They brought me balance, healing,

reconnect with myself.

and freedom. Together they showed me the way back home to me! I am so grateful to have met my Spiritual Guiding Star before she was transferred to the other dimension.

Daring Woman pg 11

RELEASING TRAUMA a survivor's podcast

Tracey Osborne www.ReleasingTraumaPodcast.com

SOUND MIND, ACTIVE BODY, PRESCRIPTION DRUG FREE

BY JULEE HUNT

Age is just a number! When you are asked to

There are many people my age group that are

rate a product, the higher the number the

living the “TV ads life”. They don’t feel

better the product. Shouldn’t it be true when

good. They are constantly in pain and take

it comes to age? The higher the number the

prescription drugs to ease the pain. They

better version of ourselves we are?

move slower and have trouble bending over.

It feels like they have given up and are

You can watch TV ads and see that society

waiting to die. I don’t know about you,

views old age as a picture of aches and pains,

but I’m in the prime of my life. I expect to

lots of prescription drugs, and the inability to

be a centenarian. That’s right baby, I expect

get up on your own. You watch those ads too

to hit the triple digits.

long and you can start to believe that is the truth about old age.

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SIMPLY BEING ALIVE AND ACTUALLY LIVING. I am in my sixties and feel great! My vision

What is the difference between me and

of old age is sound mind, active body, and

others living the “TV ad life”? Could it be

prescription drug free. I believe that I will be

their attitude about life or their lifestyle?

able to continue to do the activities I like to

Maybe. There are a few things I do to keep

do now until I die. My body loves movement

my vision alive and well as new candles are

and functions better when I give it some

added to the cake each year.

every day! My husband and I are big hikers and practice yoga several times a week. We

Meditation

also like to ride bicycles exploring the

It is important for me to take a minimum of

beauty along the way.

fifteen minutes a day to sit in silence and listen to Inner Wisdom fill my mind and soul with life affirming thoughts.

Daring Woman pg 14

Meditation helps me focus and centers me when

Journaling goes hand in hand with my meditation.

things seem chaotic. It helps me gain perspective and manage stress. I feel more calm, peaceful, and

Gratitude Walk

balanced. It eliminates information overload and

I walk or hike at least five times a week. Nature

requires no special equipment or locale like a

fills my soul and no matter where I’m walking, I

gym. Meditation can be done anywhere – even

can find beauty. My phone is filled with photos of

on the bus while commuting to work. These few

flowers, trees, clouds, sunsets, sunrises, and

minutes benefit my emotional wellbeing and

architecture that lift my spirits. While walking, I

overall health. It starts my day off in a relaxing

list my gratitude. Gratitude makes my heart

mode and the benefits started during my

soar. It is an easy-to-use tool that can be used to

meditation carry throughout my day.

lift you from the doldrums to feeling like you can walk on water. No matter how glum the situation

Journaling

feels, when you stop, look around you, and list

Journaling is my respite. My favorite is Spew

five things to be grateful for, your whole

Journaling, an exercise I recommend to my

perspective on life changes.

clients. That’s right, I use the same tools for myself as I do for my coaching clients.

Movement While a gratitude walk is movement, there are

Let’s say I get angry, disappointed, or upset about

other activities that also keep me feeling youthful

something. I can feel the heat rising in my body

at my higher ages.

and the thoughts in my head spiraling out of control. The best thing for me to do is sit down

Yoga keeps my body parts functioning

and dump all that onto paper. That stuff does not

properly and my core strong.

belong in your head and when you write it on

Weight training keeps me strong so I can

paper it removes it from your mind to the paper.

pick-up my twenty-five-pound granddaughter.

Then you can burn the paper or shred it. That

Stretching throughout the day keeps my body

takes the anger and dissipates it into thin air.

from getting stiff. Even a younger person who sits too long will get stiff.

Journaling not only helps me remove anger from

Crawling on the floor with my granddaughter

my mind, but it also helps me figure things out. If

is reward for regular movement.

I’m having trouble making a decision, I journal it out. I put down all the pros and cons and my

Being sedentary is one of those things that ages a

feelings. When I read through it, clarity comes

body quickly. Get out and move!

into focus. In my journal you will also find celebrations, gratitude, and how I choose to lead

Positive Thinking

my life. I like to set my day in motion with

Negativity can envelop us. It is everywhere we

sentences like:

look – the news, social media, and advertising. If these are your top three activities (see below) first

Today I choose to gift everyone I see with a smile.

Today I choose to be positive in my thoughts,

thing in the morning, by the time you get to work you have been beaten down to feeling like a worthless piece of dirt.

words, and actions.

Today I choose to see magnificence in the face of every person I encounter including myself.

Daring Woman pg 15

Think about it.

One of her dear friends comes by at 6:30am to join her. I see them often on one of my gratitude walks.

Your alarm goes off, you rollover, pick-up your phone and scroll through social media.

An eighty-five-year-old from my old church still

You start comparing your life to the life of

travels the world, goes on deep sea fishing

others and think you just don’t measure up to

excursions, cross-country skis, enjoys

others.

woodworking, and lives life to the fullest.

Then you scroll through the news and this leaves you feeling fearful, hopeless, and out of

My seventy-seven-year-old neighbor still rides

control.

horses, swims laps in her pool, and runs a grass-

You hop in your car and listen to advertising

fed cattle ranch.

that tells you that if you are not fat-free, grayfree, or wrinkle-free, you are not enough.

Eileen Ash of Norwich is 105. She has been doing yoga for thirty years and drives herself around in

STOP this morning routine and choose

her yellow Mini Cooper. You can find

a more positive one.

the BBC article about her here https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-

Read something uplifting instead of scrolling through social media.

norfolk-37775585, and read all about her at Wikipedia. She has no aches and pains when she

Meditate and journal instead of reading the

wakes up and she does not feel old. Her secret is

news.

healthy eating, yoga, and two glasses of red wine

Listen to positive affirmations or podcasts on

daily.

your commute.

Aside from the five things I listed above as part of I promise the second morning routine will age you

my feeling young while my age increases, I eat a

less quickly. You will have a more positive

healthy diet of fresh foods and enjoy an occasional

outlook on life and likely lose those wrinkle

glass of red wine. If I feel an ache in my body, I

furrows between your brows. You will also start

know it is caused by inflammation from

seeing more positive things happen in your day

something I ate so I eliminate that food or at

because your focus has changed from negative to

least eat it infrequently. Aches and pains are not

positive. Where you focus matters on how you

required!

age!

They say the longer whiskey ages, the smoother it Conclusion

gets. I believe that can be true about us as we age

When I changed my focus from society’s

too! Age is just a number. Keep your mind, body,

definition of old age to mine – sound mind, active

and soul ageless by eating healthy, meditating,

body, prescription drug free, I started to see

journaling, thinking positive thoughts, staying

evidence of people living like this in their

active, and doing things you enjoy. You

seventies, eighties, nineties and beyond. My own

too, can arrive at old age with a sound mind,

Dad did not start taking prescription drugs until

active body, and prescription drug free. What is

his late eighties.

that number anyway? Eileen Ash wonders when old age will hit her. I’m choosing to join her

My eighty-year-old neighbor rides her bike 5+ miles each day along the country roads.

Daring Woman pg 16

in that belief!

I wish white people openly acknowledged the

I mention all of this to state that I wish white

issues

people would listen to and acknowledge the

of

Black

people,

especially

when

a

Black person brings them up. There have been

concerns of Black people because ignoring

countless times in 2020 that I have brought up

stated concerns is disrespectful, in my opinion.

racial injustices pertaining to myself and others on my social media pages or in messages, and

Also, if being seen negatively by people in

most white people seeing the information say

their in-group is holding them back from

NOTHING. They look and go on about their

speaking accordingly, I wish white people

day. Further, several of the go on to make

would reflect on the fact that they still have

social media posts pertaining to fun or exciting

more privilege than Black people in society

things happening in their life. In other words,

and should reflect on how their actions (or lack

pretty

thereof) can impact Black people long term.

much

none

of

their

posts

speaks

on

societal injustices. I can tell especially from my Facebook and Instagram stories who are all

Ultimately, none of us can truly unite if we're

looking at my stories. Many viewers are white.

not listening to one another and having difficult yet necessary conversations. Only when we get

Also, regarding messages on social media, I

to this point, in addition to self-education, will

recall a white colleague in my industry saying

we have a shot at ending racism.

something

along

[Instagram fathom The

the

lines

influencer]

monetizing

grandmother

"it's

sad

grandmother

her in

of

couldn't

homemaking

question

was

his Jessica Bonner-Gomez

skills."

a

Black

woman who had to clean white people's houses back in the 80s and 90s. When I pointed out that

the

grandmother

monetizing (implying

due

to

racial

couldn't

the

time

fathom she

discrimination

lived was

the in still

prevalent in the 80s and 90s), my colleague completely ignored the statement and went on to

say

something

like,

"It's

great

all

the

resources we have today can allow us to have more

opportunities

today."

Though

the

colleague meant well, her action of ignoring the statement just hurt and aggravated me.

Perhaps she didn't want to offend me and tried to avoid saying anything; or, maybe she felt too uncomfortable to say anything. Whatever the case, I was left feeling unheard.

Daring Woman pg 18

What I Wish White America Understood

by Nijiama Smalls

Daring Woman pg 19

One can not deny that there is quite a bit of

Fast forward to the 1980s. A new challenge in

tension and division that is present within our

the form of "chemical warfare" was launched

country

against Black America yet again. This chemical

today.

There's

lots

of

blame

being

passed around and fingers pointed. The noise

warfare was crack cocaine; and once it hit the

that appears to be the most prevalent, however,

mainstream, it was deemed "an epidemic"; and

is the echo of white America that ridicules

again the police were called upon to patrol the

protestors

black community and arrest dealers and users

and

rioters

and

denounces

the

existence of systematic racism. Yet, not many

alike. However, instead of enforcing the law,

have stopped to listen or seek to understand the

white officers such as Michael Dowd and Ken

perspective

Eurell stole supplies from lower-level drug

of

someone

like

me,

a

Black

American woman.

dealers, made bribes, and committed murder.

Because we have seen them at the worst (up

I wish our white counterparts would seek to

close and personal), Black America does not

understand

exists

place our faith nor trust that police will uphold

Black

its obligations to serve and protect us. That is

Americans continue to suffer from generational

why we kneel, run from the police, and speak

trauma

out candidly against their brutality.

within

racial

the

black

that

was

trauma

and

how

community.

handed

to

it

Many

us

from

the

institution of slavery and the civil rights era; the ghosts of voter suppression; the murder of

Additionally, when we hear of racial injustice or

Emmit Till; KKK hangings, which included

police brutality, we are re-traumatized. When

some of our own family members; sundown

we see our white counterparts make abortion a

towns; and Jim Crow laws that still haunt us

priority or make re-electing an intolerant

today.

president primary; or when there seems to be

We have not had an opportunity to heal

because we had to focus on providing for our

more concern over a riot or destroyed property

families

than the loss of a black life, we feel the sting of

as

well

as

getting

and

remaining

ahead.

betrayal from our white neighbors, friends, colleagues, and business partners as they fail to

I wish our white counterparts understood Black

acknowledge systematic racism because it

America's

doesn't impact them in the same way it does us.

relationship

with

police.

In

the

1700s, the police were created in North and

Understand, White America, that your white

South Carolina to patrol areas to assure slaves

skin and resume-friendly name protects you

did not revolt, rebel, or escape. After slavery

from it.

was abolished legally, police then turned their efforts

to

bullying

and

tormenting

Black

Because the conversations are not being had, it

America. They enforced segregation, exploited

leaves us to wonder, "Is there fear driving this

the shadow of night awaiting opportunities to

behavior?" Do they see us as competition or as

taunt black Americans, and brutally beat and

those that will take something from them?

sprayed peaceful protestors with water hoses and tear gas on Bloody Sunday.

We wish our white counterparts would be an ally for us and not fear us as we provide competition or take something away. If White America is to extend us anything it would be, our hope that it is, empathy as we heal.

Daring Woman pg 20

Daring Woman pg 22

BLACK LIVES MATTER

by Yasmin Abdelsalam

2020

has

been

a

year

filled

with

a

lot

of

Although many people have stopped talking

sadness, grief, anger, and loss. It was a year

about this issue, the families and loved ones of

filled

the Black lives lost continue to suffer. The

with

many

life-changing

events

that

impacted so many people. From COVID 19, to

fight is not over. We need to keep going. Here

the

are some ways to stay updated and connected

Biden-Harris

win,

to

the

Black

Lives

Matter Movement protests, this year will be

to the Black Lives Matter movement.

one that we will not forget.

As a matter of fact, many of these issues are

Trigger Warning: Some of these stories and

still ongoing. Black Lives are still being lost to

cases may include details of violent or

police brutality and other hate-related crimes

potentially disturbing content. Please be

across the US and the world.

advised and proceed carefully.

Daring Woman pg 23

Four Black Lives Matter Cases that Need

3. Demand that the Franklin County Sheriff’s

Your Help:

Department Immediately start wearing body cameras.

Although it might be too late to bring back some of these individuals, many of their cases still remain open and their stories and lives are

How you can help: Call key officials and push the

being remembered in order to push for change.

community demands. The numbers to call can

These are just some of the countless number of

be found in @soyouwanttptalkabout’s post.

Black lives affected by police brutality and

“So you want to talk about Casey

racism in America.

Goodson” Instagram Post

Casey Goodson

Dustin Higgs

Casey Goodson was a 23-year-old man from

Dustin John Higgs is a 48-year-old Black man

Columbus, Ohio. Goodson was killed in front

that is scheduled to be executed on January 15,

of his grandmother’s house after picking up

2021 (Martin Luther King Jr.s Birthday) for a

sandwiches for his family.

crime he did not commit.

Jason Meade, the Franklin County Sheriff’s

In 1996, three women were murdered in

Deputy who murdered Goodson, was

Maryland and Dustin Higgs was wrongfully

working for the US Marshal's fugitive task

blamed and sentenced to death for the murders

force looking for violent offenders at the time

in 2001. Higgs was later found not guilty. The

of the incident.

witnesses, including Willis Hayes, the man who killed the girls, confirm his innocence.

According to reports, there was a verbal exchange in which Meade asked Goodson to

Officials are still holding him because they

‘drop his gun’ as he was entering his home.

claim that he was at the scene of the crime and

Goodson was legally armed, however, as he

that he pushed Hayes to commit the crime,

had a concealed carry permit. Goodson had no

although Hayes says this is false. Haynes is

criminal history and his death was in no way

currently serving life in prison.

justifiable. Yet, as Columbus officials conducted an investigation, they already had in mind that the shooting was justifiable. As a

How you can help: Visit savedustinhiggs.com to learn more

result, the case was reopened and even the

about his case and how you can help stop this

Department of Justice became involved.

unfair execution.

Contact the US Department of Justice to

The Community’s Demands:

put a halt to his execution. Find the

1. Demand transparency from both the

numbers and script here.

Franklin County Sheriff’s Office and the

Sign this petition to #SaveDustinHiggs.

Columbus Police Department in every step of

“So you want to know about Dustin

this case

Higgs”

2. Demand they arrest and charge Jason Meade

Follow @savedustinhiggs on Instagram to stay updated.

Daring Woman pg 24

Pervis Payne

@JusticeForUs Linktr.ee

Pervis Payne, who has an intellectual

2020 Issues Carrd

disability, has spent 32 years on death row in

Accounts to Follow on Instagram

Tennessee.

@breatheofficialpage @shouttheirname

In June 1987, Payne was waiting for his

@alex.albadree

girlfriend to come home in her house. He heard that her neighbors had been brutally attacked

Andre Hill

and went over to help them. Then, the police

Andre Hill was a 47-year-old Black man from

arrived and arrested him. He was convicted of

Columbus, OH. He was killed on December 22,

murder and sentenced to death. He is currently

2020, after the police gunned him down in a matter

set to be executed on April 9th, 2021.

of 10 seconds. He was only holding his phone and was wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt when he

The Shelby County District Attorney Amy

was killed.

Weirich is opposing DNA testing in the case.

They refused to test DNA that could prove his

The officer who shot Andre, 44-year-old Adam

innocence. Prosecutors have used racial fears

Coy, was responding to a non-emergency call about

and stereotypes to paint Payne as a ‘violent

a vehicle in a garage whose lights were being turned

Black man who tried to take advantage of a

off and on. Officer Coy shot Andre only seconds

white woman.’ No evidence supports this

after arriving in front of this garage, as Andre

theory.

walked out of it with his hands up. Coy claims, of course, to have mistaken the phone in Andre’s hand

How you can help:

for a gun.

Call 202-353-1555 and select option 9.

The script can be found on

He shot him and then paced down the street, rather

@sotypicalgrace’s TikTok.

than administering any kind of first aid. Hill was

Text TEAMPAYNE to 52886

left on the floor for five minutes before he received

Sign the petition.

any help.

Read more about the case here.

Things to Know and Phone Banking Script by @breatheofficialpage

Coy is a 19-year veteran who has nearly 200 complaints on his record and who cost the city of Columbus nearly $45,000 as a result of his use of

Other Resources: Know Their Names: Black People Killed

excessive force against a victim in 2012. Mayor Andrew Ginther has called for his suspension.

by the Police, an interactive guide Know Their Names: 164 Black people killed in the US in the first 8 months.

In the Letter to Columbus Mayor Ginther from Queer Partnership for Black Liberation, they

Part One

point out the complete disregard for human rights

Part Two

and safety that the department and Chief Thomas

Black Lives Matter Ways You Can Help

Quinlan displayed over the years.

Carrd

Daring Woman pg 25

“Quinlan promised a department that would

These are only four of the countless number of

operate according to 5 core values: Integrity,

individuals and cases to support and fight for.

Compassion, Accountability, Respect, and Excellence... Six months into Chief Quinlan’s

There is still so much that needs to be done in the

tenure (which was in fact 24 months into his

fight for racial justice in the US, and we need

command when you consider the 18 months he

everyone’s help to win. So, keep showing up for

spent as interim chief), it was clear that the

your Black friends, family, and neighbors, and keep

police division he promised had not been

pushing for racial equality across the nation.

realized. Compassion, accountability, respect, and excellence were all absent from the sustained interactions between CDP and protesters throughout June.”

The Queer Partnership for Black Liberation, as do many other organizations, points out that the issue is not lack of training. Coy was a 19 year trained veteran, who also happened to have dozens of civilian complaints on his file.

The issue is that the system is designed to target and discriminate against Black people and POC, which it is successfully doing.

According to the letter, the community demands are as follows:

Fire Chief Quinlan Fire Public Safety Director Nedd Pettus.

Pettus is responsible for approving the return for work of many officers with histories of complaints and use of excessive force.

Fire Officer Coy (Success) *As of December, 28, Coy was fired by Pettus just hours after declining to attend a disciplinary hearing.

Suspend without pay every officer who failed to render aid to Andre Hill Present the public with a framework for reconstructing the Division of Police.

How you can help: How to Help Excel Sheet Daring Woman pg 25

www.BecomingHerBook.com

EMBRACING YOUR ‘VULNERABILITY’ IS A SUPERPOWER!

BY SABRINA C. NELSON, CPC

As we embark upon this New Year ahead of

I implore you to take inventory of every aspect

us, lets pause for a moment to embrace all that

of your life. Ascertain what has served

we’ve endured, overcome and accomplished in

a purpose, and unearth your fierce vulnerability

2020. We are so deserving and worthy of being

to emerge as your authentic-self. Now that’s

recognized and applauded for our courage,

your true superpower!

strength and resilience.

This Brene Brown quote resonates within my Now that a new year has begun, are you ready

soul; “Vulnerability is the best measure

to start a “new chapter” in this journey called

of courage. The person pulling the strings

“Life?” Every day we have the opportunity to

underneath fear is vulnerability.” I began to

create our own reality. We all have choices to

realize that when we are vulnerable, it truly

make -- today’s decisions are tomorrow’s

demonstrates your courage not weakness -- by

realities. What are you choosing for your life

leaning uncertainty and allowing yourself to be

today, tomorrow and your future?

emotionally exposed.

We cannot start any new phase or season in

Yes, this may frighten you at first, but

our life, if we keep re-reading the last

eventually you will conquer that fear and allow

chapter of our unfolding life story. It’s time to

your life to unfold naturally. A caterpillar

get comfortable with leaning into your

cannot become a butterfly without releasing

vulnerability to expose what’s behind that

itself from their cocoon.

mask -- utilize it as your secret weapon and forge ahead with courage!

Daring Woman pg 29

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the

future; and I fully embrace starting a new

pressure of being stuck inside a confined space,

chapter in my life.”

will ultimately become unbearable. But eventually it finds an opening, gently breaking

Always remember, you can accomplish

through those walls to reveal the beauty that

anything if you are willing to P.U.S.H:

was morphed inside.

P – Persevere Like a butterfly, you become this beautiful

U – Until

infinite being that has tapped into unlimited

S – Something

potential and soaring to new levels.

H – Happens

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou

Now you are equipped with a different mindset

I want you to realize that you matter and are

and you become fully aware of the infinite

enough. Stand firm when you say “No” and for

possibilities that have been placed in your path.

your “Yes”; with anyone that stands in the way

I want you to be bold, daring and courageous,

of your progress. Create boundaries with

it’s time to step into your greatness!

everyone and do not budge when someone challenges the boundaries you’ve set for

Make this pledge to your self right now,

yourself.

“Today I close the door completely to my past.

I’m taking a ‘leap of faith’ while walking

We are all a ‘work in progress” and

confidently through that open door to my

continue to strive to become that “work of art”

Daring Woman pg 30

that we can be proud of and truly embrace.

Some of our best qualities are hidden beneath

Remain true to yourself; stay focused on your

the surface -- tap into your unique

goals as you continue to create your new

gift and allow your brilliance to emerge.

chapter, on this amazing journey called life.

Always, choose to make your well being

However, while becoming a “work of art” we

the number one priority. When you invest in

must be honest with ourselves, and fully

yourself, you will ultimately reap

embrace the transformation process. Change

the benefit of your wise choices.

begins when we refuse to remain stuck and become that fierce woman who uses

Your mind is the most valuable real estate,

“vulnerability as her secret weapon!”

never allow negative beliefs to rent space in your head. Water your mind with positive

I have encountered numerous setbacks,

thoughts every day to grow and nourish your

roadblocks, and delays in various areas of my

soul. When you change your thoughts,

life. But I realized that delays are not denials

ultimately you will transform your life!

and failure is the best thing you can experience.

Ultimately, I turned my wounds into wisdom

You are the architect and master builder of

and stumbling blocks into stepping-stones.

your life. Never allow doubt or self-limiting beliefs to prevent you from building on your

Show yourself some grace and use your

success. Every day you have another

valuable life lessons to propel you into

opportunity to continue building on your

the next level of success. I want you to make

foundation, and choosing the contents you

your life a “success story” because it’s not

place inside your mind.

about one big accomplishment or final destination. It’s a lifetime quest to achieve your

Please keep in mind the blue print you initially

fullest potential.

started can be revised at anytime. You can change or modify any aspect of your plan, but

As you continue on your journey to achieving

remain focused on the ultimate goal.

your goals, you’ll experience uncertainty and fear – but sometimes you must “Do It Afraid!”

The depth of your dreams and your

Remember if you have a pulse, then you have a

commitment to achieving your goals, measures

purpose.”

the size of your success.

Daring Woman pg 31

If you want to succeed in life, you have to

I believe that one of the greatest attributes of a

“starve your distractions and feed your focus.”

woman that embraces all of who she has become, is to be a servant to her gift. There’s

Never forget your ‘Why’ and that you don’t

no greater reward than to make ‘direct

have to wait until you’ve reached a certain

deposits’ of encouragement and inspiration in

milestone to celebrate your success. Dare to

someone’s life.

dream big with conviction and celebrate each and every step along your journey.

It is my hope that by sharing these insightful words, it will serve as a catalyst to embracing

Age is just a number, it’s never too late to

being more vulnerable – and a source of

pursue your passion, dream bigger dreams and

motivation while on your journey to becoming

become more courageous with making bold

“the best version of yourself!”

moves. You have a new story to write and it looks nothing like your past!

Now, are you ready to begin a new chapter in your life with fierce vulnerability? I’m rooting for you to win and become the woman you were meant to be in the world.

Daring Woman pg 32

YOUR RECOVERY

BY KELLY ROBINSON

Hey‌

Learning this skill will help to carry you through. There will be ample opportunities to

I've been thinking about you and your

practice. :)

recovery.

Oh my goodness, your courage! Sweet I've drafted a few letters, all of them so far,

girl. It needs to be acknowledged. It takes

too many words.

such incredible bravery and tenacity to do this work. Sometimes it feels like you're healing

How to condense it all into a brief pep talk?

generations of deep wounds and oppression.

I'm wishing I could infuse in you all the confidence that matches who you are.

It's a lot and it's not for the faint of heart, but oh my goodness, I'm telling you it's SO worth

I wish I could alleviate any pain you're feeling

it.

and reassure you that you've totally got this. I realize that me telling you now how to move

I feel like this is a promise I can make.

the pain, use the pain, integrate the pain - is probably not helpful and sounds like bs but I

How about now is the time to create your tool

don't know how to support you from here,

kit? Listing the ingredients of a toolkit like a

so I keep writing.

recipe oversimplifies recovery work I know, but maybe it will help. I learned it's wise to

You are such a bright light. It seems impossible

gather your resources now to be best prepared

that you would have no real understanding of

for the tough moments.

your beauty. Although...you must have a sliver of knowing, or you wouldn't be asking these

There are moments of this work that require

questions and seeking these truths. I see the

stamina and the ability to grit your teeth and

veils are lifting for you. This means you see

muster through, these moments also require

the tough stuff, but then also, you get to see the

having a lineup of resources in place.

light too.

I'm not sure if it's a fair comparison but it You will realize the timing is something

seems to me it's like that of delivering a baby.

to trust and that there is perfection in this, that

It's labourious and scary. There is an aspect of

our bodies and minds know intuitively when to

recovery work that can leave you feeling

recover. The timing of this work actually

trapped. Then you realize the only way out is

reinforces my faith in greater things. Trust in

through. There are moments when you

this and allow.

wouldn't wish this work on your worst enemy.

You need to be prepared for these times and

Speaking of allow. The skill of allowing

the hours when you need to bare down.

will be key. Learning to lean back and let go, breathing into the present moment and

Also like delivering a baby, the reward is

allowing what is.

enlightening. It leads to beauty, love and

Daring Woman pg 34

wholeness. It leads to peace and freedom and

glow of a candle light, sipping from a warm

more feelings at that end of the continuum that

sappy cup of tea. The wind could blow all

definitely reward the effort. When you realize

around on the outside and I took no notice,

that peace and freedom was, and is, always

I was safe inside. These visualizations along

there, you find it easier and easier to find your

with breath work can definitely help. What

way back to that space.

does your safe spot look like? Feel like?

I've already gone on too long but I will offer

- Use breath work to bring yourself back to the

the safety kit ingredients that worked for me

moment. There are lots of great 'how to' videos

just in case the information can be of use to

on breath work. The benefits of this practice

you.

makea positive difference for sure.

- Find good help. It's good to find a

- Connect with nature. There is all sorts

trained listener and guide if you can. Ask your

of evidence reminding us that moving outside

helpers to find you other helpers till you find

in the freshest air possible among nature boosts

the right fit.

our wellness.

- Surround yourself with the people in your life

- Research - YouTube, articles, books. There

who love and accept you unconditionally and

is a lot of good information out there. Find and

nourish you with their presence.

gather the information that helps you and resonates with you.

- Have at the ready a crisis line # - Ideally the teams answering these lines are well-trained

- Creativity - Invest in activities that allow

and incredibly supportive, they will know how

you to express yourself. Creating safe

to hold space for you. Dial around till you find

opportunities, like journaling, where you can

the most supportive line.

tell your story and move your feelings, this can help to process and shift energy.

.- Use your imagination to design your safe space in your mind where you can go when

- Laugher and music

you need a reprieve in the scary and unsettling moments. Detail for yourself, what are the

- Light candles and listen to soundtracks

images you see, hear, feel in this safe space?

you've created for different moods playing loudly. Find people who have depth and who

I have created many scenes for myself as I

can be silly and funny. You're meant to be

trained my mind and body how to ground

bubbling over with laughter.

myself from a fear-based spiral. For example, if scary thoughts were overtaking my thinking

- Practice meditation - Meditation can be much

I'd go to my hang out spot in the trunk of a

easier and a lot less intimidating than what

tree. I have details of the scene etched in my

people often think. Again, there is a lot of

mind, an image of a little version of myself

guidance available online. Find what resonates.

curled up inside a cozy tree trunk, warm with a

Daring Woman pg 35

I will say, practicing meditation and learning to

Consider that there is a window of possibility

come back to presence might be one of the

that your ego-driven-mean-self talk is invalid

most impactful helpers for me in my personal

can create space to replace those thoughts with

growth.

thinking that is more generous and kind.

- Be present.

Consider talking to yourself the way you'd talk to a child or a friend. In turn, that kindness will

- Along with meditation, the skill of staying

lead you to wholeness. You will learn to use

grounded in the 'here and now' becomes so

any triggers, resistance or pain that come up as

important.

gifts guiding you toward new opportunities to heal.

Most of us are addicted to the fight or flight state of being. We have our defense

- Faith. Consider deeply what you believe,

mechanisms at the ready, analyzing the past

what about your worldview gives you comfort

and worrying about the future.

and practice leaning on the beauty of just that.

Learning how to get out of your head and

I wonder if through mindfulness practice and

ground yourself into your body and into the

meditation you will see that your true essence

moment regularly through the day will serve

is connected to the source of it all. You will see

you well.

the paradoxical nature of the human experience.

- Self awareness and habit change. While being mindful, you will learn to be the observer. You

Whether you're on your knees in surrender to

will learn to pay close attention and to witness

what is excruciating, or leaned back arms open

in real time your mean self talk and destructive

to the sky in elation - our true essence is vast

thinking. Once you're able to slow down

and spacious and encompasses all.

enough to be in the moment you can keep a bit of a 'thought inventory'. Noticing how and

You will come to know you are safe in the

when you project your core assumptions of

vulnerability of this beautiful truth.

not-enoughness or feeling not okay.

That's a lot eh? Now I'm thinking it's silly This noticing will help you re-write your

of me to try to summarize something so

narrative. You will be able to catch yourself in

complex in one letter.

the moment and offer kindness instead. You can learn to poke some holes in the negative

All that to say, I love you. I see you. You've

self talk with 'what if?' questions.

totally got this.

Please reach out to me and

know that I'm here. I'll check in with you I've been taught that reframing negative self

again soon.

talk into 'What if' questions can be a tool to bridge from shame and self doubt to self love.

'What if that wasn't a stupid thing to say?', 'What if that actually wasn't a mistake?'

Daring Woman pg 36