It’s that time of year when we feel excited to make New Year’s resolutions. We start the year sure that we will stick to our goals and make changes to our habits, hobbies, and way of life. But often, by mid-January, we forget about those resolutions. So, what if this year, instead of making resolutions that can feel like more work and stress, you focused on a “Rule of Life”?
A Rule of Life is a simple, intentional plan to help you keep your most important values at the center of everything you do. It’s a way TO “begin with the end in mind” or to think about the big picture and what you want to achieve in the future. You can start by thinking about different areas of your life, like:
• Community (volunteering, school clubs, helping others)
• Work/School (homework, current education, future education, learning new things, developing skills)
Next, you can write a vision statement for each area. This is a goal you want to reach. Then, you can make a list of small actions that will help you reach that goal. Here’s an example:
Vision Statement: I am a human being with limits and needs. I want to be healthy and feel balanced in my life by taking care of my body, mind, and emotions.
Commitments:
• I sleep 8 hours each night (9:30 p.m. to 5:30 a.m.).
• I do my homework right after school (3 to 4 p.m.) so I have more time to spend with family and friends.
• I exercise 5 times a week (Mon—Fri from 4 to 5 p.m.).
• I check my spending every Friday and talk about money with a trusted adult once a month.
• I reflect on my week and plan for the next week every Sunday (1 to 3 p.m.).
Remember, the Rule of Life is meant to help YOU, not make you feel stressed. You can change it to fit your life. Sometimes, it helps to listen to your favorite music while you write it down or talk to a friend or teacher about your goals. Don’t let it overwhelm you—just find what inspires you to keep moving forward and make progress in your life as you “begin with the end in mind”!
self-care self-care
Self-care is a difficult thing for many of us to practice regularly. It can be hard to take time to do activities that are focused on ourselves and our mental and physical health. The holiday season in particular can be a challenging time. Because of this, it is extremely important to take time to focus on yourself and do things that you enjoy and that help you reframe and recover from the holidays. To help get you thinking, here are some ideas!
Journaling can be a great way to practice self-care. Writing down how you are feeling can help you process through your emotions. Being able to write down your thoughts and feelings open and honestly gives you space to just be you. Journaling does not have to be an everyday thing; it can just be for when you want to. To make it more enjoyable, you can even get a notebook or journal and decorate it the way that you like it.
When thinking about what to do for self-care, try thinking about what makes you happy. It can be watching movies, reading a book, going for a walk, catching up on your favorite TV show, etc. Taking time to intentionally clear a space on your schedule to do the things that bring you happiness and help you reset is absolutely a form of self-care.
Self-care does not have to happen alone. It can be in the form of spending time with your friends, family, pets, etc. If you are a social person and feel positively impacted by being with others, by all means this can be a form of selfcare. Spending time with others can be as simple as getting together and playing games or eating a meal together. It does not have to be structured or planned, just being with others can be enough to help you feel rejuvenated.
If you are feeling isolated or unsure how you can practice self-care after the holiday season, please reach out to others for help. Self-care can also be in the form of asking others for assistance. It can take time to figure out what activities you enjoy and make you feel better. During this period after the holidays, be gentle on yourself and choose to do the things that better yourself mentally and physically!
Journal Prompts
• Write a letter to your future self, five years from now.
• Describe a time when you overcame a difficult situation. What helped you through that time?
• Reflect on a time you helped someone else. What impact did it have on you? What impact did it have on them?
• What is one part of your life you would not trade for anything?
• Write about a recent time you felt deeply grateful for someone or something.
• Write about 5 things that make you unique.
• What would you do today to show you love yourself? Now go do that.
• Write about something that brings you joy. How can you have more of that in your life?
• If you could communicate with animals, what would you ask them? Write a conversation with your favorite animal.
Youth Bill of Rights
As a youth in foster care in the state of Illinois, you have the right to be and feel safe. This means you have the right:
To have my physical boundaries respected and honored within safe, appropriate standards (i.e.: no forcing of hugs, hand holding). Open communication with your caregiver, worker, and other adults in your life can ensure your physical boundaries are respected and honored. Shared Living Agreements between all household members help everyone living together have the opportunity to discuss what the rules and consequences for breaking the rules should be. The household members negotiate to come up with their home’s Shared Living Agreement.
To tell my caseworker, therapist, attorney, judge or the Department Advocacy Office when contact with someone is hurtful to me or inappropriate so that I can be protected without fear of retaliation. You should be given the contact information of your family worker, their supervisor, your therapist and other service providers, GAL, judge and the DCFS Advocacy Office Youth Hotline (800-232-3798) so you can tell them if you have had hurtful or inappropriate contact with someone.
human trafficking
January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month. Human trafficking is a crime that involves forcing or coercing a person to provide labor or services, or to engage in commercial sex acts. The coercion can be subtle or obvious, physical or psychological, and may involve the use of violence, threats, lies, or debt bondage. Exploitation of a minor for commercial sex is human trafficking, regardless of whether any form of force, fraud, or coercion was used. Human trafficking does not require travel or transportation of the victim across local, state, or international borders.
• Most victims of trafficking are brought in by someone they know such as family or intimate partner
• Runaway/homeless youth are the most vulnerable to trafficking
• Traffickers do not discriminate and look for vulnerabilities in their victims
• In 2023, there were 427 identified victims of trafficking in Illinois
• Online recruitment is also very common, so it is important for youth to be cautious and smart with their online presence and how they share information.
• There is a hotline where anyone can call, text, or live chat to report trafficking
ɥ P: 1-888-373-7888
ɥ T: “BEFREE” (233733)
ɥ C: humantraffickinghotline.org
• The best way to prevent trafficking it to educate yourself and others and spread awareness
Youth in Care feature Youth in Care feature
If you had to describe yourself in 3 words, what would they be?
Determined, self-aware, focused
What is something you have accomplished that made you proud of yourself?
Earning my CNA degree
What do you want to be/do/accomplish when you “grow up”?
I want to expand my heath care experience. I will be going back to college this January to earn my Registered Nursing Degree.
podcast Recommendations
This Teenage Life https://www.thisteenagelife.org/
“lou”
If you had the chance to provide advice or encouragement to other youth in care, what would you say to them?
It takes a village. This goes for everyone whether you have kids or not. You ALWAYS need help from others. You can’t do it alone. Everyone needs help and support from others.
If you would like to be featured in December’s edition of The Other Side, please reach out to us via our email address and we will be in touch!
About: It can be easy to think “I’m the only one with this issue,” but hearing other young people share their experiences can normalize conversations around sensitive subjects and make the world feel less lonely, less big, and a little more loving. - Cloe Moreno (does episode art for the podcast)
book Recommendations
Alebrijes by Donna Barba Higuera and illus. by David Álvarez. Leandro and his sister are barely surviving in a dystopian city. When Leandro is exiled to the wilderness, he finds his courage to become a leader. (A Belpré Children’s Author Honor Book)
Buzzing by Samuel Sattin and illus. by Rye Hickman. In this graphic novel, Isaac struggles to navigate his OCD and difficult family dynamics, until he finds community and relief from his intrusive thoughts through role playing games.
If you have ideas, questions or topics you would like to see covered in our upcoming editions, please submit them to our email box at TheOtherSide@cyfsolutions.org.
