8 Bow Ball n. if male boaties spend too long sitting on those hard wooden rowing seats, they will face the terrible affliction of Bow Ball. Not to give too much information (it’s particularly nasty), but they go square and make a clanking noise when hit together. The Cam n. a large slice of cooked pork. Geddit? Th[i]C[k] [h]am. And yes, that was the best I could come up with. CCAT n. or Sea-Cat. A mythical catfish, sacred to boaties. Catch A Crab v. itchy Cox n. along with Testeez, part of the male genitalia. Drawing v. if the result of a race is too close to call the winner, it is settled by Drawing. This involves a Draw, similar to the battles popular in the Wild West (see Back to the Future Part III for visual evidence), but with rowing oars instead of pistols and being smacked on the head rather than being shot. Erg n. the noise a boatie makes when reminded in the bar that he/she has a 6:30am outing the following day. Feathering v. when rowing past another boat, teams are allowed [under rule 2 (a), subsection (iii)] to use a long feather to tickle under the noses of the rival boaties, inducing giggles and, possibly, a massive crash. 1st & 3rd n. one is better than the silver medal position, the other slightly worse. What are you, an idiot? Front Stops / Back Stops n. the dying sensations of many a dedicated boatie. First the whole of the front half of one’s body ceases to function, then, moments later, the same thing happens to one’s back half. A painful way to go, doctors believe it is caused by not enough lie-ins, too little alcohol the day before races and taking boats, water and oars too seriously.
… there is a word for the action of watching someone eat in the hope they will offer you some: Groaking…’seppuku’, the Japanese ritual suicide, means literally ‘belly splitting’…