limiting societal restrictions and rules applied to gender. Regardless of when exploration and self-realization take place, for gender-nonconforming and transgender individuals the pressures and expectations of society are often said to be a factor in their decision to accept their identity.
The expectations that friends, family and society place upon people can feel limiting and disheartening. Although everyone’s experience is unique, feeling out of place and unaccepted in one’s own home might not be an uncommon struggle for transgender and non-binary individuals.
Pressures & Expectations
Finding Support and Acceptance
Edwards can attest to the pressures of society to conform. Growing up, they remember having to play the role of someone they were not, for risk of judgement and pushback. Recalling their road to self-discovery, Edwards says, “I think I’ve known my whole life … but it wasn’t exactly prevalent or recognized the entire time.” They also remember having to work hard at being a girl until they started questioning their gender. Edwards says, “It was society that kept me back,” and was the reason for their apprehension to come out as non-binary to friends and family. When talking about their home state of New Jersey, Edwards describes it as being less accepting of the transgender community. It wasn’t until Edwards came to CWU that they met people who made them feel comfortable enough to share who they really were. At CWU, “I can totally be myself without having to put on a facade to feel recognized and assured,” says Edwards. Fin Herman, pictured (right) junior Theater Arts: Design and Production major, also had to navigate an unwelcoming hometown growing up. At home and in high school, he says, “I never really felt comfortable with myself. I always felt like I was being watched and being judged.”
Having supportive and uplifting friends can make overcoming the acceptance barrier seem less impossible. Meeting approachable, open-minded and accepting people made coming out a less daunting task for Edwards. “Friends have been the biggest support,” they say. “Even just throwing the pronouns down” shows so much support and makes a huge difference. Having people in your life who you trust can make overcoming obstacles much easier. Herman also credits the people in his life for making him feel accepted and confident. At age 14, Herman explains that he realized he did not identify with the gender he had been assigned at birth. At age 16, he re-adopted a feminine facade to avoid bullying at school. He says, “I had always been scared to be myself because I was worried that I would just be disrespected all the time.” It was not until Herman met peers in college, who came out as transgender and were received with acceptance, that he finally felt comfortable to be his true self. In college, he says that he finally received the acceptance he had never been given before. After seeing others come out, he remembers being inspired by “seeing how everybody just immediately respected their pronouns and
WINTER 2020 | ISSUE ONE
41
