TheRoleOfAMother'sRoleInSociety
"Areyouhot?Areyoucold?Areyouwearingthat?Where'syourbooksandyourlunchandyour homeworkat?Grabyourcoatandyourglovesandyourscarfandhat.Don'tforget;yougottofeed thecat!"(1)
AnitaRenfroewrotethesecatchywordsforthesong"Momisms",sungtothefamiliartuneofthe WilliamTellOverture.Herwordsbestdescribeatypicaldayofmayhemthroughtheeyesofa mother.Motherswhostayathomeknowthatattimes,theirlivescanbediscombobulating.Despite thechaos,stay–at–homemothersgetthetremendousresponsibilityofonlyhavingonechanceof raisingtheirchildreninsuchawaythatmakesadifferenceintheirchildren'slivesandinsociety Throughouthistory,societyhaslookeduponthemaleasthebreadwinner:theoneexpectedtowork andsupportthefamily.Themotherhasbeenviewedasthenurturer:theonetostayhomeandraise thechildrenDuringthe1960's,womenwantedmorerights,power,andtheabilitytogethigher payingjobs.Womenweregiventhisrightsotheyexpressedthisnewfoundfreedombygoingto workoutsideofthehome.Aswomensoughtemployment,theirchildrenwerelefttothecareof babysittersanddaycareworkers.Becausesocietyhasredefinedtheroleofamothertobeonewho isanimportantelementintheworkforce,thelossofthemotherinthehomehasledtothe Fellhoelter2declineofthefamilyunit,andthus,tosocietyThisforfeiturehascreatedageneration forwhomsocialmorals
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[1]TillieOlsen's"IstandHereIroning"centersaroundtwomaincharacters:Emilyandhermother. WhileEmily'smotherappearstobeneglectfulandattimesselfish,uponfurtherexaminationofher character,voiceandappealtothereader'spathos,themotheractuallyholdsherdaughter'swell beingaboveherown.Thepairendurehardshipthroughoutthetext,butthemotheralwaysdoesthe verybestshecantoraiseherdaughter,makingeverydecisionwithEmily'sbestinterestasthe centralfactor.[2]AsOlsenweaveshernarrative,shehintsandsuggestsdetailsaboutthemother. Usuallymothermakesanoff–handcommentaboutsomethingotherthanherselfbuttheparticular waythethoughtisphrasedandherchoiceofwordssaysshowmorecontent
[4]Afewparagraphslater,themotherreflectsonEmilyasasmallinfantandwithasorrowfultone sherecollectsthat"[Emily]wasamiracletome,butwhenshewaseightmonthsold,Ihadtoleave herdaytimes[towork]"(671).Somemayseethisasneglectbutit'sclearthatEmily'smotherhadno choice.Shedoesn'tstipulatethatshewantedtoleaveherdaytimesbutthatshe"hadto".Atthis pointinthestory,Emily'sfatherwalksoutandisnolongerpartofherlife,leavingthesole responsibilityonEmily'smother.Thisstoryissetinthe1930'sand1940'swhichwereadifficultset ofyearsbyanyaccount,harderstillforasinglemother,butthenarratorperseveres.Eagertospend asmuchtimewithEmilyaspossible,themotherre–arrangedherworkscheduletobewithEmily duringtheday,andwhenshecamehome,she'drunfromthestreetcarandupthestairssothatshe mightholdEmilythatmuchsoonerSheclearlylovedEmilydeeplyanddidn'twanttobeaway fromherasshewenttosizeablelengthstospendasmuchtimewithEmilyasshecould.[5]Later, Emilyhastobesenttolivewithherfather'sfamilybutcertainlynotbecausethemotherdidn'twant Emilyaround;shesimplycouldn'taffordbeasinglemotherduringthegreatdepressionWeknow themoneyis
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Ittookalongtimetovaluetheexceptionalinfluencemymotherhasbeenonmylife.Sheisthetype ofpersonwhohasthoughtfuldiscussionsabouttheimportanceofbuildingaunitedfamily.Thetype ofmotherwhoalwayshastimetolistenwhenIneedtoexpressmyfeelings.Thetypeofbenevolent individualwholovestohelpanyonewhoisinneed.Growingupwithsuchastrongrolemodel,I developedmanyofherconvictionsandinterestsInotonlycametoenjoytheenthusiasmof learningsimplyfortheprofitofknowingsomethingnew,butIalsocametoconceivehernotionof contributingwiththecommunityinexchangeforanexcellingsenseoflife,love,andspirit.
Mymother'soptimisticattitudeispresentevenintheharder...showmorecontent...
Ifeltextremelysadandafraidforhavingtogotoanunknownland.Asalways,mymotherwas thereofferingmeashouldertocry.Thedayofourdeparture,whenthesiteopenedatsunrisewe werecertaintobeateachruin;weweretravelingalonewaitingforthemomenttomeetmyfatherin theAmericanairportIclearlyremembertryingtobestrongandbravejustlikemymotherSix yearsandonlyfourpassportstampslater,IhavecometoappreciatewhatIhavelearnedonthese journeysaboutsadfeelings,twodifferentcultures,aswellasknowingmyfamilyandmyselfbetter.
WhileIadorebothworldsmymotheropenedtome,mylifehasbeenconsequentlytransformedby whatshehasshownmeAsanewimmigrant,mymothereagerlywishedtolearnthenewlanguage IfrequentlyaccompaniedhertotakefreeEnglishclassesatalocalcenterwithanareaforhomeless people.Whilesheattendedclasses,Iassistedwiththeasylumbyplayingdominoeswiththeelders attemptingtotransmitmyhighspiritMymotherpromptlyencouragedmetokeepupwiththis activitythatthecircumstancesplacedinmylife.Havingfinallyperfectedmystrategiesin dominoes,Ipermanentlybeganmyworkasapart–timevolunteerwiththeoldpeople.Intheshort, butproductivetimesinceIwalkedthroughthedoorsofmycommunityhelpingcenter,Ilearnednot onlytheideaofgivingtoothers,butalso
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Growingup,Iwasusedtobeingbombardedbystoriesfrombothmymotherandfather.Mymother withherreligiousstories,andmyfatherwithhisexperiencesfromwhenhewasalittleboylivingin Vietnam.WhatInoticedinallofmymother'sstories,wasthatshewastryingtogetacertain messageacross.Begood.Ifthereisanythingthatmymotherismoresternonthenstudies,itwould beonbeinga"good"personthatknowstheirmoralsandcanperfectlyexecuteandstandbyitMy mother'sdefinitionof"good",isbeingselfless,caring,andhonest,bybeingsoyouwillberewarded byhavingtothechoicetogotoHeaven,ortogetreincarnatedintoahigherpositioninsociety.My mothermadeitherdutytoraisemewiththesamemoralsashersinceshebelievedthatherswas "right".Shebelievedthattheperfecthumanbeingwasonethatwasalwayswillingtogiveandone whowasalwayshonest.showmorecontent
HedoesnotknowwhetherornotGodorexists,orifthereisahigherbeing,butwhathedoesknow ishesawaghost,whichleadhimtobelieveinanafterlife.Myfather'swayofthinkingissimilarto thatAristotle'sAristotlebelievedthatthroughoursenses,wewillfindtruthThatfirst,weuse senses,andthenusereasonafterwardstocategorizethethingsweexperience.Myfatherusedhis senses,sight,toestablishthatthereisanafterlife.
Mymotherislikemyfather,inthesensethattheybothbelieveinanafterlife.However,unlikemy father,mymotherisaveryreligiouswomanwhoisveryfaithfultoherCatholicbeliefs,although withsomealtercationsMymotherbelievesthatwhenapersondies,theywillgettohavethechoice ofwhethertheywanttogotoHeaven,orgetreincarnatedintoapersonwithahighersocialstanding in
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Itisoftensaidthat,"Man'sworkendsatsunset.Women'sworkisneverdone."With sixty–threemillionwomenworkingand62%ofthosewomenmaintainingfamilies,mostwomen wouldthisstatementverytrue(AFL–CIO).Whilewomenareexpandingtheirlivestoincludea career,theymustalsomaintaintheirtraditionalrolesathome.Thiscombinationofhouseworkand career–workisthereasonwhyworkingmotherstodayhavemorestressthanworkingfathers Mothersmayworkinanofficefromninetofive,buttheirworkdoesnotendattheoffice.After workinganeight–hourday,amotherwillcomehometotakecareofherchildren,husband,and houseWomenremaintheprimarycaretakerandhousekeepershowmorecontent Also,sincehusbandsgenerallyworkeightmorehoursaweekthantheirwivesdo,theytendtomiss outonresponsibilities,suchasfeedingtheirchildrendinnerandbreakfast."Menmissouton mealchoresandthosetendtobeverystressful"saysDr.Barnett(Kelly).Moreoftenthannot, women'sworkinterfereswithfamilywhileformenfamilyinterfereswithwork(Bianchi171).This isbecausewomentendtoputfamilyfirst,andtherefore,theyfeelextrapressuretodowellfortheir familywhencominghomefromwork.Thisfeelingonlyaddstoaworkingmother'sstress. Takingcareoftheelderlyisverysimilartothedemandoftakingcareofone'schildren(Bianchi 180).Withwomennowhavingchildrenlaterinlife,theyfindthemselvesresponsibleforthecareof theiryoungchildrenandelderlyparents,iftheyrequirecare,atthesametime.One–halfofelderly peoples'caregiversworkoutsideofthehomeandonequarterofthemhavechildrenathomewho requirecare(Garrett).Whetheryourparentsarelivinginanursingfacilityorathome,itis undeniabletheamountofworkittakestocareforalovedone.Manyelderlypeoplerequire assistancewithmedication,eating,andbathingaswellasalonglistofsimpleeverydaytasksFor anyonethisisaprettybigresponsibility,butimaginecaringforapersoninsuchamanneralong withcaringforone'shomeandfamily.
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MotherNatureisunpredictable.Wearevulnerabletohergreatwrathandhowitcanproduce environmentaldisasters.Inrecentevents,wehaveseenHurricaneHarveynotonlydestroy buildings,homes,andenvironmentalstructures.Ithasalsoclaimedtheirreplaceable....lives.The GovernorofFloridaarticulateditbestasheencouragedcitizenstoevacuatehisstateasHurricane IrmaapproachedHepleadedandstated,"Wecanrebuilthomes,butwecan'trebuiltyourlife"As societycontinuestoresearchvulnerabilitytodisaster,bothforbuiltsystemsandvulnerable populations.Societymustalsorecognizesthatfactorssuchaswealthandpoverty,raceand ethnicity,genderandage;specifically,howtheyinfluenceshowmorecontent Thiscouldneverhavebeenanoptionforpovertystrickencitizens.
"Incontrastwithhomeowners,rentersaredependentontheirlandlordstocarryoutactivitiesthat canreducedisastervulnerabilities,suchasmakingroutinerepairsandimprovements,complying withbuildingandsafetycodes,andcarryingoutspecificdisasterloss–reductionmeasures"(Tierney, 2006,pg113)Citizensthatliveinpovertymainobjectivesare;payingtherenttohavearough overtheirheadsandhavingfoodonthetable.Theirfinancialinstabilitiesdoesnotprovidethemthe luxuriesofprovidingadditionalimprovisingtoreducedisastervulnerabilities.Additionally,many can'tevenaffordtoevacuate;regardless,iftheevacuationbecomesmandated.Financially,theydo nothavetheadditionalfinancialresourceto"justgetupandgo".Historyhasshownthatamajority ofthisfinancialfactors,areamongstspecificracesandethnicity
RaceandEthnicity
TheUnitedStateshasadiversityofraceandethnicityamongstitspopulation.Whensomedisasters arepredicatedsuchasaknownHurricanethatispredictedtobeaCategoryFiveScientistcan estimatethedamagesthatitmaycause,whichwillprovidetheadvancenoticeforcitizensto evacuate.Regardlessofadvancenotices,manycitizenswithinspecificraceandethnicity,don'teven speaktheEnglishlanguageanddon'tunderstandthewarnings."Warningscannotbeissuedforall typesofdisasters,buteven
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Whatisamother?Mostwiththistitleareindeedmoms,butaretheytrue"Mothers"?Thetitleof "Mother"holdsgreatmeaningwithmostpeople,includingmyself.Itdoesnotsimplymeanamom. No,amotheristhewomanwhonurturesyou,holdsuswhennooneelsewillandteachuslessons thatcannotbefoundorboughtanywhereelse,byanyoneelse.MyMotherisastrong,determined, hardworkingwomanthathastaughtmetheimportanceofputtingothersbeforemyselfShehas sacrificedagreatdealforourfamilyandcontinuestoteachmemoreandmorenomatterhowoldor wiseIthinkIget.Shehasshownamazingstrengthanddetermination.Ibelievemymothertobethe perfectexampleofhowatruemothershouldbeinherownimperfectwayshowmorecontent Truewisdomispasseddownfromonegenerationtoanotherandshouldbeheldamongthehighest ofvalueswhenpassedon.Theknowledgeofjustwhattruestrengthanddeterminationis,isoneof thehighestthingsiholdofvalueandwillensuremychildrenvalueitthesame.Iwillmakethese attributesthebaseuponwhichmychildrenwillbebuilt,justasmymotherhasdonetome.My childrenwillnotfail,theywillnotstayonthegroundwhenknockeddown,theywillnotgiveinto thedarknessthatwillsurelychallengetheminthefuture.Theywillnotfaulturebecausetheywillbe raiseduponthepowerfulvirtuesofstrengthanddetermination.Justimagineiftheotherkidsoftheir generationwereraiseduponthesameprinciples?Couldyouevenimaginethebenefitsandrewards thatwouldbereaped?Imagineagenerationshroudedinstrengthwithadeterminedmindsettomake theworldabetterplaceThethingsthattheycouldachievewouldbeincomprehensibleTherefore, weasapeoplemustfocusonsowingthesevaluesintothesoontobegenerationsothattherewards reapedupontheirarrivalwillbeenoughtochangetheworldinwhichtheyliveinforthe
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Whatcanonesayabouttheirmother?Onemaytalkaboutherpositiveandnegativecharacteristics. TherearesomanygreattraitsIloveandadmireaboutmymom,thatitwouldbedifficultandunfair towriteaboutjustone.Beingstrong,generousandoptimisticareallsomegreatpersonalitytraits, whichmymotherpossesses.
EversinceIcanremember,mymotherhasbeenastrongindividual.SheraisedmybrotherandI financially,emotionally,physicallyandspirituallybyherself.Mymomgaveherall,bythatImean, sheworkedtwojobstomakesureherchildrenateproperlyandthattheyhadtheessentialamenities togrowhappilyandsuccessfully.Anotherwayshesupporteduswaswithloveandcare.My momshowmorecontent
Shewouldencouragemebysimplysaying,"Complainingisauselesswaytosolveproblems,but becomingactiveontheissueisagreatwaytoconquerit.MymotherMymotherhasalwayshad strongfaithandviewsinherreligionWhenIwasyounger,everydayandnight,shewouldbring prayertimetomeandmybrother'sattention.MymominstilledAsachild,mymotherdisplayedthe seriousnessofspirituality.Inwhichsheexpressedherfaithinusatanearlyage,thatprayertime wasnotthetimetomakejokesnortocomplainabouthavingtopartakeinit. Onelessonshetaughtusthemost,washowseriousnessaboutourspiritualbeliefscouldprovideus withasubstantial,stableandstructurallifestyle
Mymother'sheartisatitspurestwhengiving.Iwitnessedmymotherchipinandpayforpeople's rent,carnotes,andbuyingthemgroceriesAlthoughmymother'sintentionsweregood, occasionally,hergenerosityhasbeentakenadvantageof.Onetimeaclosefriendofthefamily, cametomymotherindesperateneed.Heaskedhertoloanhimalargeamountofmoney,withthe agreementthathewouldpaybackineithermonthlyorweeklyinstallments.Mymomneverdidsee themoneythatwasduetoher.Despitetheincidentshestillgivesandencouragesotherstogive, whetherisitadonation,orvolunteeringyourtimeinyourcommunityMy
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GrowingLily
AtagethreeIsaid"Iloveyoumommy."AtagesevenIsaid,"Mom,stopkissingmycheek!"Atage fifteenIsay,"You'resoannoying–Ican'twaittomoveout!"Atageeighteen,I'llbesaying"Imiss home"Atagetwenty–sevenI'llbesaying"Imissmymom"AtagefortyI'llbesaying"Imissyou somuch;Iwishyoudidn'thavetogo."Mymomisthesuntomyshine.Mymotherisahard worker.Sheloveswhatshedoesforaliving.Shedoesarrangementsforpeoples'houses.I'veseen herworkfrom7amtomidnightattimesThehardworkpaysoffbutmostofherearningsgoto billsorgroceries.Whenshehasanewproject,shegoesshoppingforflowerstomakewhatmental imageshehasinherintoreality.Theshowmorecontent Shehasthepowertomakeyousmilewhenyou'redown,makeyoucrybytellingastory,keepyou undercontrolwhenyou'retoorowdyandgetangrywhenneeded.Familyisanimportantthingto mymotherShelovestospendasmuchtimeasshecanwiththemShebelievesintheHawaiian saying,"Ohanna:Nobodygetsleftbehind."Thispastsummerwewentonacruiseship.Thewhole sideofmymom'sfamilyhadgone.Ienjoyedmytimethere,especiallywhenwearrivedin Cozumel,MX.Oneofthemostembarrassingthingsthatcouldhappentomefrightenedmymomto death.Purgingissaidtomakeyouloseweight.Thebangingontherestroomdoorstartledme knowingIwouldbecaughtFromthatpointonshetookextracareofmyhealthLookingafterwhat Iate,whenIshouldexerciseetc.WhenIwasfourteen,myparentsandImadeadealthatifIlost twentypounds,Iwouldbeabletogetmyfirsttattoo.Shesupportedmewithit,thus,melosingthe weightNoteveryonegrowsupwithmannersIhaveahightoleranceforrespectGrowingupgoing tochurcheverySundayduetomymomhelpedmeadapttomaturity.NotthatI'mhighlybipolar, butIdolosemytemperreallydrastically.I'vebeentaughtbymymomtoforgiveandforget. Throughtheworstofhertimesthatpeoplehaveputherthrough;sheforgives.ShetellsmeIhave thebloodofmydadseeingashowIwillalwaysholdagrudgetowardssomeonenomatterwhat.I knowmymomwantsthebestforherkids,
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