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C o s t a l I n k m ma ag ga az z ii n ne e

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COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA, SOTOGRANDE, ALHAURIN AND COÍN.

JUNE 2010 NO. 39

Jokes

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Contact Us Welcome to The June edition of The Costa Link. What’s all the fuss about the ash cloud? Is it the first time there has been a volcano erupt a couple of thousand kilometers from the UK? – Why has there not sales@costalinkmagazine.com been a problem like this before? Is it really going to damage every aeroplane that flies through it? Or are the powers that be being over-cautious? What ever the www.costalinkmagazine.com answers are its amazing how much influence and disruption a natural phenomenon can cause over the UK and in turn to us here in Spain. So what will be next – we have had loads of rain, now the ash – maybe the costalink.magazine next ice age??? Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 So we are going football mad this month – having just seen Pompey miss a penalty and Chelsea win the douDeadline Date: 15th of each ble for the first time in their history, its time to get the month. beers in and become glued to the TV – The 2010 World No part of this publication, including cup is upon us. See the Match guide on page 56 my pictures may be copied, SCANNED, money is on Brazil this year, but I will have a flutter on used or reproduced without our prior England – you never know!! Father’s day is on the 20th so be nice to Dad and see written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsi- some of favourite dad quotes on page 28. bility for alterations to events listed, claims Whilst on subject on Jokes – A hung parliament in the made by our advertisers or information pro- UK and a Deputy Prime minister that came last of the vided by our contributors. big three – enough said!!

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straight face? She is totally over-exposed!” Vic Reeves has spoken out saying – “Jordan was the rudest celebrity I ever met by a long way. We’re all aware of her obnoxious character! Others to comment have been Denise Welch and Janice Dickenson. We think that perhaps Jordan should remember the old adage: “Be careful how you treat people on you’re way up the greasy pole, because you might meet them again on your way back down”? Quirky pop superstar Lady GaGa has discovered an unlikely idol, Her Majesty the Queen, whom she met at the Royal Variety Show. The Paparazzi singer is so taken with our Monarch that she is studying the Queen’s speeches to perfect a British accent for her tour of the UK in May. GaGa for Queen, Gaga for Queen..!

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• “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.” • “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.” • “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.” • It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ’siesta’ time – this should be banned.” • “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.” • “I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.” • “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the

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sand as yellow but it was white.” • A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. • A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room. • “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?” • “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.” • “No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.” • “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.” Continued on page 16...

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Most women would say that mascara is one of the most important products in their make-up bag.It has long been acknowledged that by lengthening, volumising and enhancing the eyelashes, the eyes become more alluring and defined. The search for “the” mascara often goes on endlessly with many bought, tried and left festering at the bottom of a dusty drawer. Search no longer ladies.Guerlain have introduced a mascara that is unrivalled on the market. ‘Le 2 de Guerlain’ is a double-ended mascara that ticks all the boxes. The main brush creates long, conditioned and defined lashes and the smaller brush is perfect for coating the smaller corner lashes and delicately coating the lower lashes. This amazing product comes in 3 varieties; regular defining mascara, a volumising version or Waterproof one that will last and last and last. The amazing technology in the formula make sure the lashes will never clump and even the small lashes will get the same finish as the larger lashes. Despite it’s effects many women are often searching for alternatives to do the job of their beloved mascara. Many turn to eyelash tinting although, the natural look and the fortnightly visits to the salon are not ideal in some women’s eyes. For decades women have been using false eyelashes for special occasions, they are great for a night but are notorious for falling off and ending up on the pillow the next morning. The next generation of false eyelashes are now the semi-permanent eyelash extension. These last much longer and are often placed lash by lash to give volume or length were it is needed. The downside can be the occasional loss of the natural lashes when they are removed. The most extreme measure that is now taken is the procedure of eyelash implants. The hair plus the follicle is taken from the back of the scalp and transplanted into the upper lashes. The major drawback is that the hair will continue to grow so continuous cutting is necessary. So, if you desire lovely lashes, there are so many ways to achieve themfor now I will stick to my Guerlain mascara. By Zoe from Permanent Perfect Make-up

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When in China...

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While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, He immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it.” The man looks a little perplexed and says, “well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.” The doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have

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to amputate it.' The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.” The doctor replies, 'Well, go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice.' The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, Yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.” The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate it! The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. Stupid American docttah, always want to Opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate! “Oh, Thank God,!” the man replies. “Yes,” says the Chinese doctor, “Wait two weeks..Fawl off by self. !”

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Funny Holiday Complaints... • To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. • Customers are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily. Funny Notices In the Bedroom... • Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice. • Please to bathe inside the tub. • Please leave your values at the front desk. • You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. • Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

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• “My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.” • “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.” • “The beach was too sandy.” Funny Hotel Notices... • English well speaking. • We take your bags and send them in all direction. • In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. • The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. • In the lift: - Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

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Illuminating...

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5 Illuminating signs that they're interested - When someone fancies you, they don’t always show it in the way you’d expect. Miss the signals, and your chance has gone. Next time, look out for these surprising signs – and don’t let ‘em get away. 1. They don’t talk to you - They’re so scared of looking foolish in front of you that they don’t risk it. You need to take charge. Start a conversation. Expect some nervous babble, but be encouraging and interested. Their confidence will grow and they’ll soon start to make sense. 2. They tease you - Schoolkids tease their crushes in the school playground, and none of us ever really outgrows the habit. Attack is the best form of defence, in love as in war. If someone you fancy teases you, don’t give them a slap; give them your phone number. 3. They hide from you - As with the teasing and silent treatment, this one is a form of

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defence. If you can’t see them, you can’t see them fall on their face, blush until they burn, or humiliate themselves in random heartbreaking ways. 4. They don’t seem to remember you - So, you had a brief drunken encounter six years ago, and it has faded from their memory. That’s what they want you to think. They want you to think that they’re far too busy and popular to recall it. In fact, the memory is etched onto their brain and lived out in filthy fantasies every single night. 5. They suggest splitting the bill on your first date - If you’re a woman, you probably assume that he’d buy you dinner if he fancied you. If you’re a man, you assume that she’d let you pay if she fancied you. Wrong. When someone’s interested, they’re careful not to seem over-keen, or out to buy affection or sex, or – in the woman’s case – tightfisted. More illuminating signs next month

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Thierry Henry: “Sometimes in football you have to score goals.” Gianfranco Zola: “If we can play like that every week we’ll get some level of consistency”. Jack Charlton: “Pele has nearly everything. Maradona has everything”.

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Sir Bob Paisley: “A lot of teams beat us, do a lap of honour and don’t stop running. They live too long on one good result. I remember Jimmy Adamson crowing after Burnley had beaten us once, that his players were in a different league. At the end of the season they were.”

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Reporter: “Gordon, what will you take from today?” Strachan: I’ve got more important things to think about. I’ve got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today. Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English what formation would you play? Strachan: If I was English I’d top myself.

Ruud Gullit: We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us. Andy Gray: “I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs.” Alan Shearer: “I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.” Robbie Earle: “If you’re 0-0 down, there’s no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.” Alan Shearer: One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best. Brian Moore: “The news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up.” Gerrard: “My favourite is classical art – there have been so many great artists. But I like modern as well. It’s nice on the eye.” Cristiano Ronaldo: “I’ve got a contract with United until 2010, but my future belongs to God.”

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Ian Wright: “Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.”

Ian Rush: “I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.”

Vinny Jones: “Winning doesn’t really

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Andy Gray: “It’s one of the greatest goals ever, but I’m surprised that people are talking about it being the goal of the season.”

Mark Draper: “I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.”

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Paul Gascoigne: “I’ve had 14 bookings this season – 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.”

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Ade Akinbiyi: “I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.”

Paolo di Canio: “The man who comes to take care of my piranhas told me that if I left West Ham he would kill all my fish!”

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David Beckham: “My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7”.

matter as long as you win.”


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A man with tickets to the World Cup Final finds his seat and relaxes. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," says the stranger. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?" "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first match we haven't been to together since we got married in 1957." The stranger replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. Couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shakes his head, and says "No. They're all at the funeral."

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Dad’s... of perfect wisdom. • Do you want to end up like those people? • Beacuse I said so. • Money doesn’t grow on trees. • It builds character. • When I was your age..... • You don’t know what hard work is. • A little bit of dirt never hurt anyone. • You are grounded until you are 30! • Were you raised in a barn? • Don't shake your head like there is nothing in it. • Close your mouth or are you catching flys. • Turn that noise down. • You don’t know you’re born. • Don’t pull faces if the wind changes you’ll end up like that. • Don’t touch that you’ll break it.

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With Father’s day coming up on the 20th of June here are a few classic Dad lines.. • Ask your mother. • You can't have a champagne budget with a beer income. • You're not late if you can hold your breath that long. • Don't make me stop this car. • The car is not a playground. • No matter what happens, you can always come home. • Do you think I'm a millionaire? • I'm not yelling at you. I'm helping you hear. • If you don't use your head, you might as well have feet at both ends. • You're thinking from the neck down. • Let the saw do the work. • Elope. It's cheaper. •Your mother is right even when she is wrong. • Every word that falls from my lips is a pearl

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It’s time to advertise in the

Costa Link Magazine

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CITREON BERLINGO 2004 DIESEL TWIN SIDE DOORS AIR-CON E/W C/L CD PLAYER FROM 5,995 €

DODGE RAM 1500 REGISTERED IN 2006 LHD ON UK 6 SEATS WITH AIR-CON LEATHER FULLY LOADED 15,995 €

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JEEP WRANGLER 4.O LT AUTO RENEGADE 2 DR SOFT-TOP ROLL BARS AIR-CON WINCH BARGAIN AT 6,995 €

RENAULT CLIO 2002 FIVE DOOR NEW ITV AIR-CON E/W C/L ONLY 55.000KLS FROM NEW REDUCED TO 3,995 €

PIAGGIO APE 50 REGISTERED IN 2007 ONLY 923 KLS FROM NEW DRIVEN ON MOPED LICENCE BARGAIN AT 2,995 €

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GRAND CHEROKEE LAREDO 2.5 DIESEL MANUAL NEW TYRES AND SHOCKS AIR-CON 4,995 €

A SELECTION OF UK PLATED CARS FOR SALE FROM 1000 EUROS PLEASE CALL FOR MORE DETAILS

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MERCEDES S430 AUTO UK RHD 2002 SAT/NAV,TV,CD,PHONE,E/W,E/S,H/S,DOUBLE GLAZING FULLY LOADED TO MUCH TO LIST 6,995 €

MITSUBUSHI MONTERO LHD ON UK PLATES AUTO V6 LEATHER AIR-CON CENTRAL LOCKING DRIVE’S LIKE A DREAM 3,995 €

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KIA SPORTARGE DIESEL AUTOMATIC REGISTERED IN 2005 WITH FULL KIA SERVICE HISTORY THIS 4X4 IS LIKE NEW FULLY LOADED MUST BE SEEN 13,995 €

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A CHRYSLER VOYAGER 2.5 DIESEL 11/2003 SEVEN SEATS AIR-CON ELECTRIC WINDOWS CENTRAL LOCKING SPANISH 10,995 €

CITREON JUMPER 2.2 DIESEL 9 SEATS LHD SPANISH AIR-CON CENTRAL LOCKING E/W JUST REDUCED TO 8,995 €

HYUNDAI SONATA V6 AUTOMATIC 4 DOOR SALOON LEATHER SEAT AIR-CON REMOTE LOCKING CD PLAYER FSH GOOD ITV LHD SPANISH 1,995 €

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For the most up to date pet... FroliCat Bolt

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Doggles

Pet’s Eye View

Hamster Race Set

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Find out what your pet get’s up to while you are at work with the Pet’s Eye View Camera or give your hamster the ride of its life! All these products are available at firebox.com.

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Medical Tips... Why is PSA testing so important in Men’s Health

The PSA level is often raised well before any other symptoms of prostate cancer develop. So the test is a useful tool for early diagnosis and treatment.

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Men are often renowned for taking risks, generally you get a kick out living life in the fast lane and acting as if you are invincible, sadly this is mission impossible. Looking at recent trends, the incidents of prostate and testicular cancers are increasing sharply. With a few simple changes to your lifestyle you could dramatically improve your well being, you’re functioning and durability as well as your stamina and performance.

The benefits of having a test

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• It may provide reassurance if the test result is normal • It can help detect prostate cancer before any symptoms develop •Treatment in the early stages of prostate cancer could help you live longer and avoid the complications of cancer.

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Prostrate Cancer

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It is a blood test that measures the level of PSA in your blood. PSA stands for Prostrate Specific Antigen. PSA is a protein made by the prostate which naturally leaks into the blood stream.

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However some prostate cancer can be fast growing and spread to other areas of the body.

At Clinica Medicare all of our tests are carried by our Nurse Practitioner who has many years experience in Men’s health. Please contact the Clinic if you have any further queries or to book an appointment on Tel 952 83 57 76

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Prostrate cancer is a common cancer in older men. Every year 22,000 men are diagnosed in the UK alone. Around 8 in 10 cases occur in men over the age of 65. It is rare in men under 50. Unlike many other cancers, prostate cancer is often present for many years without you realising it. This is because in many cases the cancer is slow growing and can take many years to cause any symptoms. By the age of 80, more than half of all men will have some cancer cells in their prostate – but only 1 in 30 of them will actually die from it.

A simple blood test carried out annually as a stand alone test or as part of a more comprehensive yearly health MOT, could make all the difference to your future health.


•Well Womens Clinic (Cervical Smears, breast examinations) •Full Health Assessments •Dyslexia Assessments •Complimentary Therapists •Counseling service •Hypertension management

•Community Mental Health team Mens Health Clinic (Includes PSA, Testicular examination) •Care Coordination Centre •Asthma Clinic •Diabetes Management •Vaccination Clinics

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A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to healthcare that brings the values and practices of a British Health Centre to the Costa del Sol, enabling you to access a service that is familiar.

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Tel: 952 83 57 76 www.clinicamedicare.com

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Located in La Cala de Mijas just around the corner from the BP petrol station. Ample parking.

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IInn the the Comfort Comfort and and C Convenience onvenience ooff Your Your Own Own Home! Home!

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e l i t e Glass Curtains SL SPECIALIST MANUFACTURERS AND INSTALLERS OF GLASS CURTAINS Open

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Protect and reduce effect of dust, wind, noise &

Protect and reduce the effects of dust, wind, noise rain on your balcony & rain on your balcony Createananallallyear yearround roundusable usable terrace terrace Create

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Framelessglazing glazingsystem systemwith with undisturbed undisturbed views Frameless views Specialist in manufacturing glass curtains Specialist in manufacturing glass curtains

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20 years experience in glazing industry

Full public liability insurance

Full public liability insurance

Trade and commercial enquires welcome

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Trade and commercial enquiries welcome Closed

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We will beat any like for like quotation

For your free no obligation quotation call now on PHONE - 952 830 503 MOBILE - 630 625 085 E-MAIL - info@eliteglasscurtains.com WEB - www.eliteglasscurtains.com ELITE GLASS CURTAINS S.L., POLIGONO ELVIRIA 26, ELVIRIA 29600

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References available upon request From quotation to installation you can be sure of a first class product and service from Elite Glass Curtains

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won’t know which colic situation will turn out to be life threatening and which will pass. While the degree of pain is a good indicator as to how severe the problem is, some horses do not show any real signs of severe pain until the problem has reached a point that the chances of successful treatment are very low. With sand related problems you are much better off calling the vet early when the symptoms are mild, as you have a better chance of solving without resorting to surgery. Sand Sense - Consider feeding psyllium one week a month to prevent sand colic Be aware of any subtle changes in your horse’s attitude or condition any colic can be serious, so don’t hesitate to call the vet, early treatment can be a life saver, and may help avoid surgery.

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From The Horses Mouth - Sand Colic...

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Sand can cause a serious equine colic hazard, but you can treat colic! Sand is the cause of many horse colic’s, horse’s kept on poor or overgrazed pastures, can eat sand as a result of eating too close to the ground. Each time a horse eats; it licks its lips, and as a result ingests dirt. Also horses that eat out of feed buckets that are too small will tip the bucket over, and as a result they will eat dirt along with their feed. Sand colic basically means intestinal pain related to the presence of sand in the horses digestive tract. In its mildest form, the colic pain is low grade and related to irritation of the gut lining caused by the sand. Colic pain responds well to analgesics such as flunixin (Banamine), though of course they don’t solve the problem of the sand being there in the first place. As the sand continues to accumulate, more serious problems can result, impactions can occur or the horse may develop a volvulus, which is a twist in the colon. The twist may occur when the horse is rolling or exercising. To imagine this, picture a wet towel that you have twisted to wring out the water. When a volvulus occurs, the food material cannot pass through easily, if at all, and the blood supply may be compromised at the twist. The horse may need surgery with a volvulus impaction. Calling a Vet anytime your horse exhibits symptoms of discomfort you think might be related to an abdominal problem, you must call a vet "Better safe than sorry" always applies, don’t give a horse medication and wait to see what happens, there is no such thing as a routine colic, and in the early stages you


MAHON ESTATES SHOWING YOU WHERE & WHY

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FREE LEGAL ADVICE 80% MORTGAGES MORTGAGES & RE-MORTGATING ARRANGED 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN THE PROPERTY BUSINESS HOUSES, APARTMENTS & BARS FOR SALE AND RENT PROPERTIES REQUIRED FOR OUR EVER GROWING LIST OF CLIENTS ENJOY A RELAXED & FRIENDLY OFFICE BASED IN CALAHONDA FREE PLASMA TV WITH EVERY PURCHASE FREE CASE OF WINE WITH EVERY LONG TERM RENTAL

COMMERCIAL EL CAMPANARIO, LOCAL 8C, CALAHONDA, MIJAS-COSTA

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TEL: 0034 951 978 048 FAX: 0034 951 978 048 MOB: 0034 697 561 423 or 0034 617 561 319 Email: dave@mahonestates.com Web: www.mahonestates.com FEEL FREE TO CALL IN AND SPEAK TO AUDREY OR DAVID OUR HOURS ARE 10-2 & 3-6 MONDAY TO FRIDAY

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Bar & Restaurant Guide... K N

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Open daily Tuesday  Sunday 10.00 18.00 Frontline Fuengirola Port Marina. Tel: 672 028 226

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Everything direct from London Pie, Mash and Liquer Jellied Eels, Dressed crab, Whelks, Peeled prawns, Mussels, Winkles and much more! Eat In and Take Away Now supplying wholesale

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Playa Marina

La Cala

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Complementary Handmade Chocolates with all meals in the restaurant


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Snack Attack Cafe - Bar

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Due to popular demand Snack Attack is now open on Sundays 10am - 4pm for Breakfast, Lunch and our popular ROAST DINNER 2 courses for only 10 €

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Open from 7.30 for Quality Breakfast, Lunch and Sandwiches

GREAT VALUE BREAKFAST ONLY 3.95€

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Everything available as take away for days out Why not take a baguette of your choice to the Local 26 Jardín Botánico, beach or airport? La Cala de Mijas NOW IN OUR 7 T H YEAR Tel: 952 493 184

On the Sunny Side of the Street


Beer Cocktails... That’s right we can’t believe it either... Why not try one of our beer cocktails to watch the footie with! Starting the proceedings is the Acapulco Twister.

Campari Beer Ingredients

1 bottle Lager 1 & 1/2 Shots Campari

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Method

Ingredients

Use a tall glass. Add Campari first. Fill with beer.

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Ice Juice of 1 Lemon 1 pinch Salt 1 pinch Black pepper 3 drops Tabasco sauce 1/2 oz Clamato juice (Spicy tomato juice) 1 & 1/2 Shots Bacardi Lemon 4 oz Corona

Monaco Ingredients

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1 splash Grenadine 2/3 glass Beer - Lager 1/3 glass Sprite M e t hwith o d the grenadine, then beer, then Start 7up. Stir well on the rocks, and you're good to go. This drink comes from France. This drink is very refreshing.

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Method

HONG KONG

La Cala

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RICE AND NOODLES Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

Sisters Bar

DESSERTS Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas. Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

Calahonda

MAIN COURSE Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

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Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales.

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SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS

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CHIESE RESTAURAT

Harrys Sports Bar

Los Jarales

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Mix the lemon, tabasco sauce, clamato juice, salt and pepper. Fill the glass with some ice, add the rum and fill with Corona beer.

Friendly family bar. Tasty homemade food. Value for money specials & tapas. Draught beer from 1€. All sports on large screen. Fun karaoke nights. The Strip, Calahonda Tel: 952 939 579


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Freshly Cooked New Menu. Warm Friendly Atmosphere. Above Shenanigans, Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 039. Closed Tuesdays.

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ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 676

JJ’s Bar

SMALL FRIENDLY BAR

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RIVIERA DEL SOL

Avenida del Golf

Just Give Us A Call

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CLM©2008

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WITH LARGE SUNNY TERRACE AND FANTASTIC VIEWS OVER THE MED. LIVE SPORT FUN QUIZ NIGHTS - THURS MUSIC NIGHTS

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

Family Bar Internet, Karaoke Wednesday Quiz With Billy Live Entertainment Pool Tables Games Machines Open for Food Closed Tuesdays Soul Night - Last Saturday of Every Month

Beautiful panoramic sea and beach views from the terrace.

Riviera del sol JJ’s Bar


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We specialise in serving our customers the highest quality food, w service, large portions, good value and most i FROM SPRING OUR BEAUTIFUL GARDEN TERRACES ARE OPEN -

WE ARE THE CELEBRITIES CHOIC

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GEORGE GRAHAM

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LI C/Jose de Espronceda, Edif. Mrc 7, Locale 32, ‘La Campana’, (opp. La Torre Andalucia Hotel) Nueva Andalucia, Marbella. Tel: 952 81 79 89

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OICE FOR GREAT FISH AND CHIPS

SHAYNE WARD

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d, whether you choose to eat in or take away. A friendly, efficient st important of all - GREAT COMFORT FOOD!!! N - TRENDY...BUZZY...ENJOYABLE. OUTDOOR EATING AT IT’S BEST

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San Pedro

CILLA BLACK

ALAN DAVIES

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Marbella


Restaurant Review... Madhatters review

toasties. On Sundays they do a Traditional Sunday Roast of mouth watering Beef, Lamb or Chicken which is accompanied with Homemade stuffing, cauliflower cheese, roast potatoes & fresh vegetables. It really is the best I've ever tasted. I have also just learned that after catering for Simon Cowell & the X Factor they now do quite a lot of outside catering. I am so pleased that I a have at last I have found a restaurant, which continues to cook beautiful home-made food. The English Chef (& co owner) has a creative menu with exciting specials every week. I would really suggest that you pay them a visit, you can't miss them next to Barclays Bank, with their stylish new lime green chairs.

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I moved to Nueva Andalucia just over four months ago and had been missing real English home cooked food. So when I heard that Madhatters make and freeze ready meals I had to give them a go! I was really surprised to find that I could buy something that I could just pop in the oven and serve up that taste so good. Since that evening, I have been back to Madhatters and become something of a regular customer. They are very well known on the coast for breakfasts. Ranging from the Full English to smoked salmon & scrambled egg bagels, and the perfectly cooked poached eggs. For a lunch I would recommend the fantastic home recipe burgers or Caeser Salad. They also have a varied range, which I have yet to try including Duck wraps, Panini's, sandwiches, baguettes &

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Mama Nostra

By Sally â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Nueva Andalucia

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Golden Sun

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Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

If you have enjoyed and experience in a restaurant and would like to see your review on this page please send it to editor@costalinkmagazine.com.

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Madhatters are located next to Barclays Bank in Nueva Andalucia. They are open 7 days a week for breakfast and lunch. If you require further information then please call 951 279 080

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only â&#x201A;Ź6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Telephone: 663 061 669

JUST GIVE US A CALL


CHARLEYโ€™S RIVIERA DEL SOL

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Your Entertainment Guide Shenanigans, 9.30pm Riviera del Sol. Fish and Chip Night - The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Allstars, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Saturdays: Live Music Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke - Sister Bar. The Strip, Calahonda. Live Entertainment - Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Sundays: Sunday Roast & Live Music - Vista Del Mar. 1 till 6pm â&#x201A;Ź10.95 Plus live music. Live Entertainment - Mad Terry, from 5pm Shaggys, Fuengirola Port, Courtyard. Sunday Roast - 1pm - 10pm, The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Carvery & Karaoke - Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol.

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Mondays: Live Sports, Quiz & Bing -Bar Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Live Sports, - Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Tuesdays: Karaoke - Fools bar. El Zoco, Calahonda. Karaoke - Allstars, Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Racenights (First Tuesday Everymonth) Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Wednesdays: Indian & Chinease Night The Far Isle, Authentic Indian or Chinese Cuisine. Live Sports, - Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Thursdays: Karaoke - Fools Bar, El Zoco, Calahonda. Quiz Night - Charleys Bar, Riviera del Sol. Quiz Night - JJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar, Riviera del Sol. Karaoke- Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. Quiz - 80â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quiz. Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. Fridays: Karaoke - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Paul the Bearâ&#x20AC;? Bar

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ADVERTISE YOUR EVENTS! Call: 663 061 669

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MADHATTERS

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Next to Barclays Bank, Nueva Andalucia - Tel 951 279 080

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Traditional Sunday Roast

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Please Order 1 Hour Before For Our Best Service

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Tuesday To Sunday 10am to 10pm

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952 930 717

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Part illuminating, part entertaining and part quite scary. Based on the results of this list be afraid of your fellow human beings! Be very afraid. 1. When will

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ocal Info Emergency Numbers

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Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

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Health Centres

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7th to the 13th June - Feria de San Bernab, Marbella. 20th June - Fathers day UK 21st June - Summer Solstice. 23rd June - San Juan. All night barbeques and fireworks along the coasts beaches. Walk backwards into the sea at midnight for good luck!

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Diary Dates

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Tourist Information

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

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Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

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show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

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All the Cinemas listed below

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

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Markets

Consulates

86 58

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Town Halls

Fire Brigade

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Cinemas

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Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

(Marina)

Transport

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669


DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS S.L.

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Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.

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Mobile: 651 111 005

www.drainandleak.com

CLM©2008

teleweb internet & telephone just got better!

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tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

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Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

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HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!


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Lesson 4 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'” The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.” Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I'll give each of you just one wish.” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She's gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He's gone. “OK, you're up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.” Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

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Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

Lesson 5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree” sighed the turkey, “but I haven't got the energy.” “Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull S *# t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

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A Quick Course in Management...

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Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor before she says a word, Bob says, “I'll give you 800€ to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her 800€ and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.” “Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?” Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


GARDE CETER L I  D AV I S TA

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info@bigbluebox.es 689 000 754


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Friends, volunteers and customers all visited the Age Care Association Charity Shop recently to celebrate the first anniversary and a very successful opening year. The President of Age Care Association, Charles Betty, was delighted to welcome Steve Jones, the British Consul, who arrived in time to cut the cake and join in the fun. The buffet and drinks were organised by Beverley Morland, Shop Manageress, and her team of shop volunteers. Steve Jones, who opened our shop last year, and his team at the British Consulate are very supportive of the Association and refer clients to us who need help. People who come into the shop often ask how the money is used; here are just some of the answers. Chasing appointments for people at the hospitals in Malaga, working with the different Ayuntamientos to provide long term help from Social Services. Nursing assessments, counselling and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;hands onâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; help. Taking patients to hospital when they are receiving ongoing treatment. This is the kind of help that we can offer; but no job is too small, a volunteer this week has brought library books to a housebound client, another took a carer shopping whilst someone sat with her sick husband. Age Care Association does not charge for its services, but clients are welcome to make a donation if they wish. The Association is a non-profit making registered charity. If you would like to volunteer, need information or help contact Age Care Association on 691 761 088/655903182 or visit our website at www.agecarecosta.org

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It’s all pants!

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Underwear is Important... Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... A couple in Birmingham drove their car to the local Asda, only to have their car break down. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the Car Park. When the wife returned there was a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the car. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

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If only... One evening a husband, thinking it would be funny, said to his wife “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your bottom” His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair pants from his drawer. “What’s this?” he said to himself as a small dust cloud appeared when he shook them out. “Mandy “he shouted into the bathroom, “Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?” She replied with a laugh, “It’s not talcum powder darling it’s Miracle Grow!” Potato in your Pants...After a day at the beach Moe asked "Joe, how come all the girls are interested in you, and they don't pay any attention to me"? Joe said," well, if you won't tell anyone I'll tell you my secret. All you have to do is put a potato in your swimming suit. Then they will notice you!" After the next day at the beach, Moe said "Joe look, I did what you said, and all they did was laugh at me."Joe said" NO,NO,Moe, Put it in front! Not in back!!

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No more mowing,watering or dead spots! Artificial grass is the solution for a uniqueground covering. For more info or a free quotation Call 619317211. www.axarverde.com

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Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding. Fully registered. Credit cards now taken. Call Bob and Debbie on:

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Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 84

Quick Crossword

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Across 1. Inverse (10) 7. Curt (7) 8. Crib (3) 9. Sentinel (6) 10. Hinge joint (4) 12. Remedy (4) 13. Cask (6) 16. Mythical bird (3)

17. Fishing boat (7) 18. Duty (10)

Down 2. Bizarre (9) 3. Disregard (6) 4. Wealthy (4) 5. Nimble (5) 6. Arithmetical operation (4) 8. Lowest female singing voice (9)

11. Empty (6) 12. Freight (5) 14. Entice (4) 15. Male deer (4)

Logic Puzzle

Sudoku

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How many words can you make from the letters in the wheel? Each word must contain the hub letter E. Can you find a 9-letter word and at least 20 other words of five letters or more avoiding proper nouns?

Mathematical Teaser

(no fractions, no partial years-whole numbers only.)

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When the two met, one was half the other's age plus seven years. Ten years later, when they married, the bride was thirty, but this time one was nine-tenths the age of the other. How old was the groom?

Say What You See... 12345PAINT

ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER


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Strange but true...

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S t r a n g e Fa c t s . . . . • The most common languages: Mandarin (907 Mil); English (456); Hindi (383); Spanish (362) • The most common name in the world is Mohammed. • Coca-cola was originally green. •It takes 1.3 seconds for light to travel from the Moon. • The Nile and the Amazon are the two longest rivers but no one knows which is longer. • Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters. • Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. • World's smallest country: Vatican City .17 sq. mi. • The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night. • Average number of words added to the

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English language each year: 450 • Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28 • Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7 • Driest place on earth--Anartica • Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90 Percentage of mammal species that are:3 • Pencils are hexagonal because they're cheaper. You can make 9 hexagon pencils with the same wood it takes to make 8 round. • Only mammal with 4 knees? Elephant • Liver is the only organ that can regenerate. • Cows are louder than gorillas. • Laughing sickness is fatal. • Dolphins have three stomachs • The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.

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METACONA Manufacturers of ornate iron work

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Aluminium doors and windows Mosquito screens Shower screens Electric shutters suppliers of scissor gates Stainless steEl welding and fabrications Toldos manual or electric cctv and smoke screen Nave 8, Fase 3, Poligono La Vega, Camino Coin, Mijas Costa

Tel: 617 760 155 Email: metacona@hotmail.com 68


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Seabreeze & Bluesky

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Worried about volcanic ash but need a change from sand, sea and crowds! Then why not spend a few days relaxing in the beautiful mountain scenery of El Chorro only one hour drive from the coast close to the turquoise waters of the Ardales lakes. It’s another world. The pace is slower, the scenery breathtaking. Right on your doorstep is the famous Caminito del Rey suspended high above the magnificent 300 metre gorge. At the Olive Branch, several options of accommodation are offered including en-suite B & B rooms with use of the large pool and terraces, a small three bedroom self contained house sleeping 6 to 8 and for the more adventurous, you can pitch your tent in the grounds and use all the facilities including a communal kitchen. All rooms have stunning views. Further details www.olivebranchelchorro.co.uk or email Melanie on melanielbryne@yahoo.com Casa Magél and Finca Eco Spa also offer beautiful en-suite B & B rooms. At Finca Eco Spa you can have exclusive use of the property. Here you can just relax in comfort or enjoy Informal and flexible painting holidays in some of the most spectacular scenery in South Spain. Further details on www.magelinternational.com or e-mail Elio on mageldesign@yahoo.co.uk. They have local professional teachers available and can cater for any level for singles or small groups. Other activities such as Ceramic tile painting, Pilates, Horse riding, mountain biking and more can be arranged. See page 24 for our advert.

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Olive Branch - El Chorro

Call for a free quotation on - 952 811 874 or 665 560 443 or email us - info@seabreezeandbluesky.com

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News From Our Adver tisers...

Small household repairs by Seabreeze and Bluesky Little things break, toilets, sinks and taps, lights and bulbs, shutters and door locks, cupboard doors, door bells boilers and, the list goes on. It would be nice to pick up the phone and call someone to do those small repairs and sort niggling little problems that crop up in the home from time to time, and at a sensible price, Seabreeze and Bluesky are happy to call and take the worry out of your day. Running or blocked toilets, leaking taps or sinks, or wardrobe doors that fall off, doors that don’t open or close, these things are annoying to you, and your guests, and what about when half the lights are out, the boiler is not getting hot, or the power keeps tripping, call us, it’s easier and much safer than wobbling about on a stack of chairs to reach a bulb or re hang your curtains. There are so many more reasons to call Seabreeze and Bluesky, if you have got pictures to hang, curtain rails to replace or repair or shutter/persiana problems, new lights and spotlights to install, with maybe a new coat of paint, call us, there is no job too small.


PARKER SOL PROPERTIES & COSTALETS Tel: 952 56 39 39 / 636 829 631 www.costalet.com C.I.F: B-92171388

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C/ Sagitario 6, Jardines de Gamonal Blq 7, 29631 Arroyo de la Miel

AREA SALES: CALL STEVE - 636 829 631

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IF YOU WISH TO BUY, SELL OR RENT LONG TERM FROM TORREMOLINOS TO ELVIRIA, CALL US NOW.

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European Equities : The recovery in bond markets should be key for equities. The announcements from ECB and EU leaders of the 750bn Euros ($995bn) sovereign debt rescue plan, was welcomed by the markets. Societe Generale sees easing bond yields as a reason why Spanish equities (IBEX 35), still have some positive growth over the course of 2010. However, this growth is likely to be capped by new fiscal tightening measures.

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Economy : Spainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s economy just scraped out of a two year recession in May. The Bank of Spain estimates that GDP grew 0.1% in the first quarter of this year, ending seven consecutive quarters of contraction, but lagging the rest of the euro area's recovery by six months. This may help to fend off the downgrading by the ratings agencies. S&P had already downgraded Spain from AA+ to AA in the previous week.

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Currencies (GBP/EURO/USD) : The pound has been caught between the weak euro and the strong dollar, although the election result has removed a key source of risk and uncertainty. However, the UK currency risks falling prey to renewed speculative attacks, particularly if the new coalition government fails to deliver a credible and binding deficit-reduction plan. Heightened political, fiscal and economic risk has led many economists to revise down the end-of-year forecast for the sterling against the US dollar. The outlook for GBP/EUR is a more difficult call. While both currencies face their own set of risks, sterling remains undervalued against the euro. As such, there is a general view of a strengthening of the pound against the euro, through 2010.


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Caesar Salad...

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Ingredients •1 medium ciabatta loaf (or 4 thick slices crusty white bread) • 3 tbsp olive oil • 2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts • 1 large cos or romaine lettuce , leaves separated FOR THE DRESSING •1 garlic clove •2 anchovies from a tin •medium block parmesan cheese for grating and shaving (you won't use it all) • 5 tbsp mayonnaise • 1 tbsp white wine vinegar

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Method 1. Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6. Tear the bread into big, ragged croutons or, if you prefer, cut with a bread knife. Spread over a large baking sheet or tray and sprinkle over 2 tbsp olive oil. Rub the oil into the bread and season with a little salt if you like (sea salt crystals are best for this). Bake for 8-10 mins, turning the croutons a few times during cooking so they brown evenly. 2. Rub chicken breasts with remaining oil,

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season. Place pan over a medium heat for 1 min, until hot, but not smoking. Lay the chicken on the pan (it will sizzle if it's hot enough) and leave for 4 mins. Turn the chicken, then cook for 4 mins more. Check if it's cooked by poking the tip of a sharp knife into the thickest part; there should be no sign of pink and juices will run clear. 3. Bash the garlic with the flat of a knife and peel off the skin. Crush with a garlic crusher. Mash the anchovies with a fork against the side of a small bowl. Grate a handful of cheese and mix with the rest of the dressing ingredients. Season to taste. It should be the consistency of yogurt - if yours is thicker, stir in a few tsps water to thin it. 4. Shave the cheese with a peeler. Tear lettuce into large pieces and put in a large bowl. Pull chicken into bite-size strips and scatter half over the leaves, along with half the croutons. Add most of the dressing and toss with your fingers. Scatter the rest of the chicken and croutons, then drizzle with the remaining dressing. Sprinkle the parmesan on top and serve straight away.

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Your a GOLFaholic if... You think that some day you'll shoot your age, when a more realistic goal would be to shoot your weight! You know there's more to life than golf, but your'e not interested in finding out what it is!

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You quit the game forever, twice a month!

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You buy every new golf gizmo that comes out! You think you're skillful and everybody else is lucky!

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You miss the ball, but still think it was a great swing!

Hole In One

As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar order. He took the usual vows of poverty,chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and never play again. This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest.

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not. "Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It was a 420 yard hole in one! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied,"Who is he going to tell?" 18 Holes Here's a slice of golf history you might enjoy. Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes, and not 20, 10 or an even dozen?

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By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out....

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Old Friend

A golfer ran into a friend he not seen for years at the driving range one day. They talked about their games, their swings, and all sorts of things. Eventually, one of them said, "How's the family?" The other replied, "Oh, pretty good. I got a new set of clubs for the wife the other day!" "Hey, good trade!" replied the friend!

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As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

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So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

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One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke up and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

During a discussion among the membership board at St. Andrews Golf Club in 1858, one of the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 holes to polish off a fifth of Scotch.

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Are you a GOLFaholic?!

You can't break a 100 but still think you could give Tiger a few tips!

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The new clubs you just bough cost more than your mortgage and car payment combined!

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!


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Golf Tips And Tricks able to keeping your hands in position as you swing as a grip wears in this area in begins to shine even after it has been washed and another reason to get them changed.

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Get a Grip Each month I normally talk about the swing or something that will help your short game to improve, I do not often talk about equipment but the state of some of the grips I have seen on golfers clubs when they come for coaching in recent weeks has pushed me into righting this one, I have seen one customer who had allowed his grips to wear down to a level allowing you to see the chrome of the shaft in the place of the grip. The grip on your golf club is the only contact you have with it and once your hands have adopted the position you want on the club you do not want it slip as you swing so two questions how should you maintain the grip and how do you know when it should be replaced.

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As a club maker I change a large number of grips and one thing I see a lot is grips that don’t fit get your pro to measure your hand and fit a grip that is the correct size, this is important for grip position and comfort. By Mark Sibley of Miraflores Golf Academy.

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Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away. "Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."

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Maintaining Your Grip It is easy to look after your grip keeping the surface tacky and ready to play with, every time you play or practice take a few minutes when you get home to wipe the grips over with a wet cloth removing the dirt, leave them out of your bag to dry.

When Is the Grip Worn Out

NOW WITH FULLY STOCKED PROFESSIONAL SHOP

If you are a regular player and you have not had your grips changed for the past two years it is probably fair to say they are worn out , grips wear in two main areas :-

MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF ACADEMY. S/N RIVIERA DEL SOL, 29649 MIJAS COSTA. TEL: 952 933 729 OR 678 833 736

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1. Size:-a grip used all the time will get smaller as it wears , hold your 7 iron up against a new club in the pro shop if there is a noticeable difference it’s time for a change. 2. Tackiness:-The tacky feeling you get from a new grip is a large factor in being

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It is the dirt on the grip that builds up to make them slippery just these simple rules of maintenance will increase the life of your grip and keep it ready to use.

UK QUALIFIED 15 YEARS OF COACHING EXPERIENCE LESSONS FOR ALL LEVELS OF GOLFER BEGINNER TO PLAYING PROFESSIONAL LESSON PACKAGES AVAILABLE NOW BASED AT THE MIRAFLORES GOLF ACADEMY

Once every month take your grips and a nail brush use neutral detergent and give them a good clean using the brush clean out the patterns in your grip, rinse them off under the tap and wipe them over with the cloth, leaving them to dry out of the bag.

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MARK SIBLEY

PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL

Golf Academy

Sponsored by Mark Sibley - Miraflores Golf Academy


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SUMMER 2010 1STJUNE 2010 TO 30THSEPTEMBER 2010

18 HOLES 9 HOLES

42.00 € 25.00 €

BUGGY BUGGY

25.00 € 12.50 €

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TWLIGHT PRICES

GREEN FEE

29.40 €

BUGGY

17.50 €

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WEEKLY SEASON TICKET / PERSON WITH SHARED BUGGY 199.00€

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SPECIAL OFFER JULY & AUGUST 2010

E-Mail: caddymaster@santamariagolfclub.com Website: www.santamariagolfclub.com

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SANTA MARIA GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB Urb. Elviria, C.N.340 Km. 192 29604 Marbella (Malaga) Tel: 952 831 036 Fax: 952 834 797

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BUGGY (18 HOLES & TWILIGHT) 15.00€ 2 PERSONS + SHARED BUGGY: 2 GREEN FEES + BUGGY 15.00€ = 99.00€ SUPER TWILIGHT (5 HOLES) FROM 18:30HRS 20.00€ (PER PLAYER) INCLUDING BUGGY


Fiat Panda Italia '90: This four-wheeled homage to the Italia '90 World Cup finals actually garnered a cult following - there's even a Facebook fan group with more than 50 members dedicated to the car. The football wheel trims killed it before kick-off for most, though.

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Fiat 500 Barbie: When Barbie turned 50 last year, Fiat offered her a gift. Not a facelift, but a very, very pink 500. Designed in conjunction with Barbie owner Mattel, it never went on sale, thankfully.

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano China Limited Edition: Ferrari likes a bit of merchandising as much as anyone, but it usually steers mercifully clear of special editions. The one-off China Limited Edition is exactly why. Painted to look like rare porcelain genius idea!

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Lamborghini LP 640 Versace: There's every chance that the average Lamborghini driver has something made by Versace in their home, but otherwise the link between the two companies isn't clear. Unveiled at the 2006 Paris Motor Show, the interior is swathed in leather, which is embossed with the Versace emblem.

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C a r s Yo u W i s h Yo u H a d n â&#x20AC;&#x2122; t B o u g h t . . .

VW Polo Harlequin: Nope, not a life-sized Volkswagen Polo colour swab, but a real life multi-coloured car that you could actually buy and drive home - hopefully wearing a hat and fake moustache. VW initially planned to make 1,000 Polo Harlequins, but demand was so high the company made almost four times that amount. Yes, really!

Fiat Seicento Schumacher: The Seicento was confirmation that Fiat had lost its way in the city car sector. So how do you think F1 legend Michael Schumacher felt when the Italian company honoured his general excellence in the field of motoring with a 1.1-litre version in yellow?


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Days Out...

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Fuengirola Adventure Mini Golf: Adventure golf, a themed putting game for all ages. Birthday parties organised, bar and restaurant with terrace. Based in Fuengirola, near the A7 and between Dunnes Department Store and the Wok Directo Restaurant. Tel: 951 260 067 Funny Beach: Go-karts for adults and children over 6 years old, trampolines, mini golf, video games, electric bikes and cars, children's rides and water sports. Open in the summer from 11:0002:00 and in winter from 11:00-23:00. CN-340 km 184, 29600 Marbella. Tel: 952 823 Parque Acuatico Mijas: Open from May to September, this aqua park has numerous slides and pools, restaurants, floats & sun beds. Situated in Mijas. Tel: 952 460 404 Selwo Aventura: A dolphin, seal and penguin park with seasonal opening hours. At Parque de la Paloma, 29630 Benalmadena. Tel: 952 560 150 Selwo Marina: Dolphinarium, ice living station to see sea lions and penguins. Situated next to the Parque de Las Palomas, Benalmadena. Tel: 902 190 482 Tivoli World: This show and amusement park is open throughout the year. There are rides, themed restaurants and bars to enjoy. Avda Tivoli s/n, Arroyo de la Miel (Benalmadena). Tel: 902 114 700

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AnteNatal/PostNatal care and support. Baby Clinic

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Marion Hughes English Midwife

Clinic: 952 780 540 Mob: 607 911 262 www.costadelsolmidwife.com marion@costadelsolmidwife.com www.marbellanannies.com

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CAR STICKER WINNER

Puzzle It Out Solutions Solutions From Page 66

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Just Say What You See Paint by Numbers Final Answer Logic Puzzle

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9-letter word - CELEBRITY Some other words of five letters or more containing the hub letter E:beery, belie, beret, beryl, betel, birle, biter, creel, elect, elite, erect,eyrie, leery, liter (litre), lycee, rebel, relic, retie, terce (tierce), tiler,tribe, trice, celery, eerily, recite, relict, tercel (tiercel), treble, erectly,liberty, reticle, celerity.

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106.1FM THIS MONTH’S WINNING REGISTRATION NUMBER IS 8239 BNE WHO WINS €200!!!

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Mathematical Teaser The bride was 30; the groom was 27.

Crossword Solution

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Prizes must be claimed within 30 days of publication of this magazine. To claim your prize please call: 952 462 092

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T he Jokes page

page

"Darling" says a husband coyly to his wife: "let's swap positions tonight". "What a good idea" she replies, "you stand in front of the ironing board, and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart".

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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once."

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Q: What's E.T. short for? A: Because he has little legs!

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to advertise please call 663 061 669

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The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

A teacher asked her class how many of them were Gordon Brown fans. Not really knowing what a Gordon Brown fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again. Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a Gordon Brown fan.' The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you a Gordon Brown fan?' Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Conservative.' The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative. Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mum's a Conservative and my Dad's a Conservative, so I'm a Conservative.' Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your Mum was a moron and your Dad was an idiot, what would that make you?' Little Johnny replied, 'A Gordon Brown fan.'

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Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest. The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the “Soft and Gentle” was.“That'd be $2.50,” said the clerk. “Too much,” mumbled the Indian, “how about the 'Gentle'?” “That one's $2,” answered the clerk. “Still too much,” complained the Indian, “anything cheaper?” “Welllll,” replied the clerk, “We do have a generic kind.” “What generic mean?” asked the Indian. “It means it doesn't have a name, and it's only 50 cents.” “Me take that,” said the Indian. The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, “Me have name for generic toilet paper.” “Oh,” says the clerk, “what's the name?” “Me call it John Wayne... it's rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian.


S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during June...

You've never been famous for being shy. This month though you might want to try to turn down the shock effect on your words you don't want to frighten others away before they have a chance to get to know you, you might give it a shot.

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Something is about to change in your home and family life. But not to worry - this will be one of those changes that bring you joy, Capricorn and lots of it. The Lunar Eclipse will illuminate your relationship axis on the 26th! Wow! Better rest up while you can!

Leo

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Aquarius

Cancer

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If you're already attached, you'll need to reassure your partner often, but you'll definitely think of some charming ways to do just that. If you're single, prepare for a buffet of admirers, and invest in a brand new little black book.

Libra

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Scorpio

If you've been after a raise or promotion, don't relax just yet. It's definitely in the works, but you'll have to kick it up a notch at work to get the attention you need. Your dreams may come true, in an extremely unusual way!

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If you're ready for a new start, and when aren't you? - The New Moon on the 12th will help. Jupiter will plan changes of friendships and groups on the 6th and you are likely to find that you're suddenly part of a new peer group.

A casual relationship may be changing, - so if you're interested in making this a long-term thing, it's definitely time to set that plan in motion. This is also the perfect recipe for love at first sight if you're not already attached.

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Gemini

Time you actually took some time off to relax, with no guilt about what you "should" be doing? It's going to be a last-minute, impulsive thing. Tell your sweetheart to pack for any occasion, and don't tell anyone else anything!

A surprise long-distance trip is on the cards and if it doesn't happen shortly after the 6th, you should definitely at least make some plans. By then, you'll be dying to break your routine, If there's someone you want to see who's far away. How about a visit?

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Fasten your seatbelt youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got quite a month ahead! You've never needed any help getting noticed, you may actually end up trying to tone it down a bit this year - but not just yet. Plus, the Lunar Eclipse on the 26th will give your career a big jumpstart.

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Pisces

Thinking about going on a spending spree? Jupiter will enter your house of money matters on the 6th, and he's the King of Extravagance and Excess. For the next few weeks, whenever you leave the house with your plastic, take a chaperone along.

A career change is afoot - a major one. You may be thinking of selfemployment, or wondering if it's time for that raise or promotion. Your mission this month will be to devote yourself as much as possible to perfecting your work.

It's all about love for you this month. Talk about a good time! If you're single, watch out for a parade of interesting admirers who will refuse to be ignored. If Sagittarius you're attached, the parade will be the same, but you'll have to give your partner lots of TLC.

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June 2010 Costa Link Magazine  

The best free A5 magazine on the Costa del Sol

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