August 2016 costa link magazine

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August 2016 N°113

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MARBELLA

AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC

Computer Problems? we can help....

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Glass Curtains costadelhome.com intelligent property search

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Have a Purrfect Summer!

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Ed’s Note..

Hope you enjoying the sun!? August is all about relaxing, soaking up those rays with a cheeky beer or maybe a pina colada! And what better way to watch the Olympics, Rio 2016 should be great, fingers crossed they get all the issues sorted before the opening ceremony on the 5th... It’s Feria time in Malaga this month – One of Andalucía’s best, where during the day the city center is transformed with people dressed in typical costume and plenty of food and drink is available. In the evenings there are nights dedicated to flamenco dance and music, the port is lit up by a firework display and of course there is the huge fair to enjoy. This year the feria runs from the 13th-20th August, you never know you might bump into the Costa link staff on our annual pilgrimage! I’m off now to get the spare room ready for the influx of ‘friends’ that I hear from once a year – just before they book a holiday! Relax and don’t forget the suncream…

in the August Magazine...

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Gadgets & Gizmo’s: The fastest drone ever and a new bling HP laptop plus lots more…

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It’s a Man’s World… Dear technical support, Can you help me with this app?

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All revved uo this month: The Goodwood Festival of Speed – exciting World debuts take a look at some of our favourites.

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What’s On Guide.... Don’t miss the Starlite Festival in Marbella plus lots, lots more going on this month on the Costa del Sol.

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Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link

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Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 76.

Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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The kids page this month: Arrgh maties to sea we go...

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Like Us

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Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 72!!!

Facebook

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Women’s World this month: What men really mean are they easy to decipher?

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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2016. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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A Woman’s World

MEN’S ENGLISH…

Are men easy to decipher? We think so…

I am hungry – I am hungry I am sleepy – I am sleepy I am tired – I am tired Nice dress – Nice cleavage!

I love you – Let’s have sex now

I am bored – Do you want to have sex now?

May I have this dance? – I’d like to have sex with you Can I call you? – I’d like to have sex with you Do you want to go to the cinema – I’d like to have sex with you Can I take you to dinner? – I’d like to have sex with you Those shoes don’t go with that outfit – I am gay

It’s just so hot…

‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today’; Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ‘Darling, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’ ‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.

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HOT GOSS!

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CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER, KICKS OFF ON JULY 28TH…

Celebrity Big Brother started on July 28th: At the time of going to press we don't know who's going in yet (though if you believe the rumours, it could be the likes of Lady Colin Campbell, Geordie Shore's Marnie Simpson, TOWIE's Lewis Bloor and Stephen & Chris – the Brighton besties – from Gogglebox… The show has a very snazzy new eye is a gold and white creation with a smashed star running through the middle, but what could it all mean?

That’s it we are glued to the tele from now on!

KATIE PRICE & PETER ANDRE SET TO GET BACK TOGETHER (FOR WORK!) THIS SUMMER… The former Mr & Mrs Andre could be

reuniting on the tele! Since both Katie Price and Peter Andre first began appearing as panellists on Loose Women, viewers have been anticipating the inevitable moment when they’d be forced to appear together. And this summer, after months of watching and waiting, it looks as if we’ll be closer than ever before to having a Katie and Peter live reunion, as Peter has revealed that he’ll be getting a much bigger role in the show!

Thankfully, they seem to be on better terms than ever – with co-parenting their children Junior and Princess to think about, they’ve settled their differences and are back on friendly terms.

But lots of fun to watch hey!

VICKY PATTISON JUST ACCEPTED A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL…

Vicky Pattison never ceases to amaze… She was only dating Spencer Matthews five minutes ago? And last month she surprised us all, s she has just accepted a marriage proposal from a former X Factor star…. It’s only Ian Royce from the X factor! Ooooh, we wonder what the rock will be like?

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HOT GOSS!

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p i s s z i o b G how S

X FACTOR 2016: It might not feel like it, but it's almost time for The X Factor to take over our lives again. REALLY! It might seem like Louisa Johnson has only just been crowned, but the 13th series is fast approaching. Olly Murs and Caroline Flack won't be back this year, but former host Dermot O'Leary was almost immediately heavily rumoured to be making a return. But he's not alone... after heaps of rumours that Rylan had also been linked to the job and some indiscretion from This Morning's Phillip and Holly, it's finally been confirmed that Mr Clark-Neal will be joining Matt as his co-host on The Xtra Factor. It's confirmed… ITV and The X Factor have officially announced that Sharon Osbourne, Louis Walsh and Nicole Scherzinger will be joining Simon Cowell on the panel this year. We're expecting drama in bucket loads…. Come on Mrs Osbourne shake them up a bit!

IS JOEY ESSEX DATING STEPHANIE PRATT? Say what???? It's safe to say that Stephanie Pratt love, love loves a reality show. Seriously, she is the absolute queen of them. First came The Hills, then Made in Chelsea, then Celebrity Big Brother – and now it's looking like she could be dabbling in TOWIE. She is apparently dating Joey Essex???

Yup, we are deadly serious. The two have apparently been secretly seeing each other since they met while filming new E4 show Celebs Go Dating, a programme where famous peeps date regular non-famous members of the public. So they completely missed the point of the show, basically. Ooooooo they would have lovely looking babies!

THE BOOBS ARE BACK… Katie Price, 38, has had her brand new XXL boobs on display well, whenever possible really. She has now undergone EIGHT operations on her chest. She admitted she couldn't get used to life without her implants and flew to Brussels to have them done again.

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10 Top Tips...

1) If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed!

2) A mousetrap, placed in top of your alarm clock will prevent you going back to sleep.

3) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4) Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.

5) Slimmers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or the fridge by not buying the thing in the first place.

6) Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

7) Make bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog poo into the bath – happy days…

8) Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding 2 bottles of bleach, then urinating into it before jumping in.

9) Don’t buy expensive ribbed condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside before you put it on.

10) Sci-Fi fans: create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’’ invariable wake up in a strange place the following morning – having had your memory mysteriously ‘erased”.

Do not attempt any of these top tips at home.

TRYING THESE TIPS COULD LEAD TO SERIOUS INJURY OR EVEN DEATH.

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Eat In, delivery or Take Away 7 days a week from 5pm www.cabopizza.es

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Al Fresco Living Outdoor furniture

Your outdoor area is so important when living on the Costa del Sol. Your terrace becomes an extension of the lounge. Here are some tips from White Design Company when considering new furniture or decoration.

1) First thing is to think about what you would like. Lounging, dining, sunbathing, or perhaps all three? This is often where we come into it for advice. Does the space get a lot of sun or wind? We can quite often help with multipurpose pieces to accommodate smaller areas. You may want a lounge area to eat at as well.

2) If you are buying a dining table and chairs we will measure the space

you have. Keeping in mind that the chairs around the table need approx.

60cm of space behind to move the chair out and ideally another 60cm for people to walk around. Oval or Round tables also allow for an extra chair or two to be added with comfort when required.

3) The material you choose is very important.

It must be durable to withstand the elements. The summer sun and the cold winter can be very hard on your furniture.

We can advise what is best for you. From rattan to aluminium, wood or perhaps some textylene that is very popular at the minute.

4) If you’re going for cushions,

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look for fabrics ideally that have been Teflon coated or ask us about the new faux leathers that will withstand the sun. We put longer zips on our cushions when making them, it is sod’s law you burst one when taking them off to wash. Here at White Design Company we can advise on the many fabrics available to suit your furniture and the look you are aiming to achieve.

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5) When choosing shade, there are many different parasols, shade sails, pergolas etc. to choose from and what base is needed to stop it flying away in the wind. White Design Company can advise on this.

6) If you’re working with a small space,

stackable stools/chairs will conserve space. They’ll take up less room around the table. White Design Company have many options for fold away tables and chairs, for the smaller spaces.

Remember you can borrow extra chairs from inside occasionally to use on the terrace if you are entertaining.

7) Outdoor accessories,

just like your indoors, can change the look dramatically. New cushions, outdoor rugs, storm candles, heaters and lighting to mention a few.

8) Outdoor covers can be made to measure. It is so much easier to use

them if you are not here all the time and the property is not in use. No washing dusty furniture when you get back. Just take the covers off and relax with a well-earned glass of wine. Please ask us for advice.

We could go on forever about outdoor furniture as there are so many beautiful designs to choose from. One thing we can say though is, with outdoor furniture you really do get what you pay for. We are here to advise from the furniture through to the decoration. We work with many good companies, so come along and visit us for more advice.

Enjoy the lovely weather and don’t forget the sun cream.

Edif. Butibamba la Cala de Mijas, Mijas Costa email: info@whitedesignco.com | www.whitedesignco.com Tel: 952 494 155 | Mob: 600 583 673 find us on facebook

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the unlucky zookeeper...

A zookeeper starts his new job on a Friday this helps him to break into things before a fresh week. His first duty is to clear out the aviary.

He is happily sweeping away when suddenly he hears a "crunch". To his dismay he looks down to find he has accidentally trodden on & killed a rare finch. Not wanting to get in trouble he panics, scoops up the bird & throws it in the lion enclosure, the hungry lion gobbling it up. He returns to his supervisor, and for his next duty gets send to feed the chimps in the chimp house. He starts to play with the chimps throwing them fruit, letting them swing off his broom. In his exuberance however, he manages to knock a chimp off balance that falls awkwardly from a tree & breaks his neck. "Oh no" he thinks..... "I've killed 2 animals on my first day..... I'm bound to get sacked".

So again, while nobody is looking he picks up the chimp & throws him in the lion's enclosure where the lion gobbles him up. Sheepishly he returns to his supervisor, who unknowingly is pleased with his work. For his final task of the day the supervisor sends him to the beehives. The zoo keeps its own bees to sell honey in the shop. His task is to collect the honeycombs to make the honey. This time all seems to be going fine, until a bee gets inside his mask. Frantically he trys to swat the bee, but topples over onto the hive, smashing it & crushing all the other bees!

To avoid the sack once more, he scoops up the crushed bees & throws them to the lion. Next day, there's a new arrival at the zoo ... a mate for the lion. "What's the food like here ?" asks the new arrival. "Oh, you know" says the lion... "Just the usual Friday stuff... Finch, Chimp & Mushy Bees..."

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Working On The Costa Del Sol Since 1990

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at La Peña Canina Live Music

at La Peña Canina

Friday & Saturday

BBQ’s Find us on

KM 189 Between Elviria & Las Chapas

Open Wednesday to Sunday 6pm til late Great Food, Great Drinks, Great Atmosphere

Join Mark & Jules in the beautiful secret garden at Sandara Bar in the woodland

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Costa Rents

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• In a Bangkok Temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

• Cocktail Lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

• Doctor’s Office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

• Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

• In a Nairobi Restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

• On the main road to Mombasa, leasing Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

• On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

• In a resturant, London:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

• In a Cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

• On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

Denise from The English Pie Shop invites you to come and try her delicious pies, cakes & quiches all for take away...

At Just Baked in Calypso, between Riviera & Calahonda KM 199 on the N340 Open Monday to Friday 9:30am to 4pm Saturdays 9:30am to 2pm 22

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Which country is associated with the anthem ‘Land of My Fathers’?

2) Which teams played in the Euro 2016 final 3) Which country is directly east of Chile?

4) Which sign of the Zodiac does a goat represent?

5) What is Chowder?

6) Who won the Wimbledon 2016 Women’s final?

7) In which county is Salisbury Plain?

8) What species of animal do larvae and pupae grow into?

9) Who won the Wimbledon 2016 Men’s final?

10) Who became the new Prime Minister of the UK last month?

11) What’s the name of Europe's tallest building on London's south bank?

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12) Chichester is the county town of which county?

13) Which actor has a middle name of Mungo?

14) Who was captured and held hostage with John McCarthy and Brian Keenan?

15) What colour is the Financial Times?

16) Is Europe the second smallest or second largest continent?

17) Where does the King of Spain live?

18) In which garden is the Princess of Wales’s conservatory?

19) Who met a pie man whilst going to the fair?

20) Which chemist opened its first high street store in the UK in 1877??

21) Which board game has Chance and Community Chest

questions?

22) Which breakfast TV show did Chris Evans and Gaby Roslin first present?

23) Is ‘Vermicide’ is used to kill Mice or Worms?

24) Violet Carson played which character in Coronation St? 25) In which US state is Miami?

26) With which sport do you associate Tiger Woods?

27) What is ‘Sodium Chloride’ better known as?

28) Who wrote Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Puss in Boots and The Sleeping Beauty?

29) What code word in the phonetic alphabet is also the name of a capital city?

30) What is the English name for the Cote d'Azur?

Answers on page 80

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• In a Tokyo Bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

• In a Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

• In a Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

• In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across the road from a Russian Orthodox Monstery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN & SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS & WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

• A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIF FERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

• In a Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

• An advertisment for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

• Seen in an Abu Dhabi Shouk shop window:

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.

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A

Have you found Jesus?

man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze.

Whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

'Yes I am’ replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunken replies, 'No, I haven’t.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time.

He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.' By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, ‘For the love of God, have you found Jesus?’

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, ‘Are you sure this is where he fell in?’

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GADGETS &Gizmo’s Sony unveiled the Z series; a flagship line of 4K HDR Ultra HD LCD televisions that it says is its best and brightest yet. It runs on Android TV, and features Backlight Master Drive technology that will rival the richness of OLED sets. The new processor has 40 percent more real-time image processing power than Sony’s previous 4K Processor. The 65-inch and 75-inch models are available for pre-sale now and a 100-inch model will be available later in the year.

Teal, is launching a drone that it claims is the world's fastest production drone. At 70MPH, and a 2-mile range and 20-minute flight time, it is stable in high winds (up to 40MPH in testing), it has high-accuracy GPS and comes with multiple modes to accommodate rookie pilots. On top of a 13-megapixel, 4K-capable camera, future add-ons will include radar-guided avoidance, thermal imaging and vision-based positioning.

Tomofun created Furbo, and while it may not be the first camera of its kind, it's offering new innovative features. Furbo's two-way audio system makes it possible for you to talk to your dog, and push notifications can be sent your phone to let you know when it is barking. It gives you the ability to fling out treats across the room to your dog through the camera and has a night vision feature so you can stay connected to your pooch 24/7.

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Nintendo shocked the gaming world by unveiling its new console – It's the NES. The same classic Nintendo Entertainment System from the mid-80s, only now shrunken down to palm-sized shape and with 30 blockbuster games built right into the thing. And the Nintendo Classic Mini: Nintendo Entertainment System is cheap – it will be around 70€, with all the tiny details perfected, It even has those classic, boxy NES controllers – but no, those haven't been shrunken.

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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming...

There’s thin & light, and then there’s HP Spectre thin and light. This distinctive ultraportable is the world’s thinnest laptop. That's not to say the Spectre is bare bones, though: it’s got serious power under the hood, and the looks to give Apple’s 12in MacBook a run for its money. You’ll either love or hate the colour scheme: the burnt gray makes a nice change from the usual black or silver aluminium, but that gold hinge at the back is pure bling.

The New LG Action Cam LTE. Isn’t just another GoPro rip-off.

It’ll hook up to mobile networks via 4G and 3G, which means you don’t need to pair it with a smartphone should you want to, say, live stream your footage to YouTube in 30fps 720p HD. You can also use the 4G connections to turn the Action Cam LTE into a remote security camera for your home or office, or a live-streaming dash cam for your car. A microSD card you can have up to 2TB of on-board storage, which allows you to up the recording quality to 1080p HD (at 60fps) or 4K UHD (at 30fps) using the 12.3MP 1/2.3in sensor.

The Xbox One is a big hunk of tech, especially compared to the streamlined PlayStation 4. It took about three years, but Microsoft is finally ready to address the complaints, with the new Xbox One S. Out this month, the much slimmer version of the console, with a redesigned look and internal power supply, but it also comes with 4K resolution for Blu-rays and streaming, as well as HDR support for games and media alike. You've also got a top-end 2TB storage option for holding onto loads of games and other content, along with a new controller.

Samsung Gear IconX earbuds are the first ever truly wireless earphones - The two buds aren't physically linked, yet work together to deliver sharp sound. They automatically power up as soon as they pop into your ears. The carrying case can give the earbuds another two full charges, meaning you'll get upwards of 10 hours of local playback (or 4-5 hours via your phone) before needing to plug the case.

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fantastic olympic facts...

The Early Olympic Games:

The early Olympic Games were celebrated as a religious festival from 776 B.C. until 393 A.D., when the games were banned for being a pagan festival (the Olympics celebrated the Greek god Zeus). In 1894, a French educator Baron Pierre de Coubertin, proposed a revival of the ancient tradition, and thus the modern-day Olympic Summer Games were born.

First Modern Champion: James B. Connolly (United States), winner of

the hop, step, and jump (the first final event in the 1896 Olympics), was the first Olympic champion of the modern Olympic games.

The Most Expensive Opening Ceremonies:

$51 billion dollars was spent on the 2014 Sochi Olympics. Beijing 2008 the Chinese spent about $100 million, Or Approximately $416,667 Per Minute. London 2012 the opening ceremony wasn’t missing a thing…literally - $75 million money well spent (and the Queen sky-diving into the stadium was the cherry on top of the cake).

The Exact Length of a Marathon:

During the first several modern Olympics, the marathon was always an approximate distance. In 1908, the British royal family requested that the marathon start at the Windsor Castle so that the royal children could witness its start. The distance from the Windsor Castle to the Olympic Stadium was 42,195 meters (or 26 miles and 385 yards). In 1924, this distance became the standardized length of a marathon.

Gymnasiumn:

The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek root "gymnos" meaning nude; the literal meaning of "gymnasium" is "school for naked exercise."

Athletes in the ancient Olympic games would participate in the nude.

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 4:49 pm Page 36

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 4:50 pm Page 37

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 4:50 pm Page 40

fantastic olympic facts...

The 1st Olympic Games:

As we know them now. The Games in 1896 featured only nine sectors. These were: Athletics, Cycling, Fencing, Gymnastics, Shooting, Swimming, Tennis, Weightlifting and Wrestling. All of these except tennis have been featured at every subsequent Games.

Tennis Banned: Tennis was played at the Olympics until 1924, and then reinstituted in 1988. The mixed doubles competition returned not until the 2012 Olympics.

The First Opening Ceremonies:The first opening ceremonies were held during the 1908 Olympic games in London.

Real Gold Medals:

The last Olympic gold medals that were made entirely out of gold were awarded in 1912. Paintings - At the 1904 Paris Games the winners were awarded paintings instead of medals, as the French believed that they would be more valuable.

Double Bubble: Only four athletes have ever won medals at both the Winter and Summer Olympic Games: Eddie Eagan (United States), Jacob Tullin Thams (Norway), Christa Luding-Rothenburger (East Germany), and Clara Hughes (Canada).

The Official Olympic Flag: Created by Pierre de Coubertin in 1914, the Olympic flag contains five interconnected rings on a white background. The five rings symbolize the five significant continents and are interconnected to symbolize the friendship to be gained from these international competitions. The rings, from left to right, are blue, yellow, black, green, and red. The colors were chosen because at least one of them appeared on the flag of every country in the world. The Olympic flag was first flown during the 1920 Olympic Games.

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:00 pm Page 41

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:00 pm Page 43

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 10:03 am Page 44

A Man’s World

DEAR TECHNICAL SUPPORT...

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matter worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, ScreamAtHer 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2016. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I have forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail filters, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 need updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express, which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attached itself to my Mercedes Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can’t be turned off.

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:00 pm Page 45

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:00 pm Page 46

It’s mating season...

A man and his two Two Red Indian friends were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The man was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about.

'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler - 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening... If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.’

Just then they came upon another cave.

The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'

Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The man wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.

As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'

Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read................

Wooooo! Wooooo! Woo ooo!

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:00 pm Page 47

Medical Tips

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:33 pm Page 48

HOW TO TREAT SUNBURN

Sunburn is skin damage caused by ultraviolet (UV) rays. It usually causes the skin to become red, sore, warm, tender and occasionally itchy for about a week. The skin will normally start to flake and peel after a few days and will usually fully heal within seven days. While sunburn is often short-lived and mild, it's important to try to avoid it, because it can increase your chances of developing serious health problems, such as skin cancer, in later life.It’s easy to underestimate your exposure to the sun when outside, as the redness doesn’t usually develop for several hours. Breezes and getting wet (such as going in and out of the sea) may cool your skin, so you don’t realise you’re getting burnt. You should always be aware of the risk of sunburn if you’re outside in strong sun, and look out for your skin getting hot.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE SUNBURNT

PREVENTING SUNBURN

• Skin should be protected from strong sunlight by covering up with suitable clothing, seeking shade and applying sunscreen.

• The risk of getting sunburnt is highest from March to October, particularly from 11am to 5pm, when the sun's rays are strongest.

• There is also a risk of getting sunburn in other weather conditions – for example, light reflecting off snow can also cause sunburn. You can also burn in cloudy and cool conditions.

Sunscreen: • When buying sunscreen, make sure it's suitable for your skin and blocks both ultraviolet A (UVA) and ultraviolet B (UVB) radiation.

THE SUNSCREEN LABEL SHOULD HAVE: 48

If you or your child has sunburn, you should get out of the sun as soon as possible – head indoors or into a shady area. You can usually treat mild sunburn at home, although there are some circumstances where you should seek medical advice.

The following advice may help to relieve your symptoms until your skin heals: • Cool the skin by sponging it with cold water or by having a cold bath or shower, applying a cold compress such as a cold flannel to the affected area may also help.

• Drink plenty of fluids to cool you down and prevent dehydration.

• Apply a water-based emollient or petroleum jelly (such as Vaseline) to keep your skin cool and moist.

• Take painkillers such as ibuprofen or paracetamol to relieve any pain – aspirin should not be given to children under 16.

• Try to avoid all sunlight, including through windows, by covering up the affected areas of skin until your skin has fully healed.

the letters "UVA" in a circle logo and at least 4-star UVA protection at least SPF15 sunscreen to protect against UVB • Most people do not apply enough sunscreen. The amount of sunscreen needed for the body of an average adult to achieve the stated sun protection factor (SPF) is around 35ml or 6 to 8 teaspoons of lotion.

• If sunscreen is applied too thinly, it provides less protection. If you’re worried you might not be applying enough SPF15, you could use a stronger SPF30 sunscreen.

• If you plan to be out in the sun long enough to risk burning, sunscreen needs to be applied twice: • 30 minutes before going out.

• Sunscreen should be applied to all exposed skin, including the face,

neck and ears (and head if you have thinning or no hair), but a widebrimmed hat is better.

• How long it takes for your skin to go red or burn varies from person to person. The Cancer Research UK website has a handy tool where you can find out your skin type, to see when you might be at risk of burning.

• Water-resistant sunscreen is needed if sweating or contact with water is likely.

• Sunscreen needs to be reapplied liberally, frequently and according to the manufacturer’s instructions. This includes straight after you've been in water (even if it is "water-resistant") and after towel drying, sweating or when it may have rubbed off.

CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!

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Health & Well Being

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HEALTH & FITNESS THE FACTS...

There is so much informaTion around when iT comes To healTh and fiTness ThaT iT can be difficulT To know all The facTs. 1. sugar is as bad for you as cigarettes

are. although sugar does not have the longer than those who were not. same stigma as smoking, the truth is indulging on sweet treats or dessert could 7. few of us would wash our hands after be as bad for you as lighting up a cigarette. getting money out from an aTm machine; cleanliness tests have revealed 2. an hour’s sleep could make you happier however, that cash machines are just as dirty as pubthan €60,000. what would it take to make lic toilets. experts assessed swabs from you happier? in fact, the study suggests the keypads on cash machines and also that getting one extra hour of sleep each from nearby public toilets and found that night does more for your daily happiness they both contained the same types of bacthan a €60,000 pay rise?!?! teria known to cause sickness. Yuck!

3. exercise won’t make you thin. although 8. women are nine times more likely to many people use exercise as their sole suffer from a broken heart: many people method of weight management, many have felt at times like they were going to studies have shown that exercise, when die from a broken heart, and research not combined with dietary changes, does studies have now confirmed the existence very little in respect to losing weight. of broken heart syndrome, a condition in 4. chewing gum boosts your brainpower. which the release of adrenaline caused by don’t have time for your morning coffee? shock (often due to overwhelming fear or Try a piece of chewing gum instead to feel pain) can lead to heart failure. more alert.

9. less than one per cent of bacteria 5. coffee can help ward off depression. cause disease: day to day to day life, we we often hear about how caffeine is bad are surrounded by bacteria – in fact, for us; however, a study from the harvard healthy human skin is covered in around school of Public health has found that, for 1000 different species of bacteria. women, drinking four or more cups of caf- however, contrary to popular belief, most feinated coffee a day could reduce risk of bacteria are not harmful and, in fact, less depression by 20 per cent. than one per cent cause disease.

6. being optimistic can save your life: we all know that thinking positively can have a great impact on your happiness, however research has also revealed that being an optimist can help you live longer. research reveals that optimistic people are less likely to suffer from heart disease; researchers have found that heart patients who were more optimistic about their treatment lived 50

10. stretching before running may lower your endurance: many of us have been taught to warm up before exercise, however recent studies suggest that stretching before a run may not be beneficial to your workout. stretching before going for a run made a runner’s body less efficient so that they did not perform as well and were unable to run as far.

CHECK OUT... our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:24 pm Page 51

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:24 pm Page 52

Medical Mayhem

Giving a Sample:

A 90-year-old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.” The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, “WHAT? What did he say? What’s he want? His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.”

Warning, Wet Paint: A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."

Hippocratic Odes:

There once was a young man called Ben, Who went out to pull nurses again, He met one called Kate, Had her laughing by eight, But she had him in stitches by ten.

52

A nurse who was getting quite bored, Grabbed a doctor and mounted his sword, The passion soon passed, And now she transferred at last, Now she’s on the maternity ward.

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ALL REVVED UP

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:25 pm Page 54

WORLD DEBUTS

The Goodwood Festival of Speed never disappoints – This year was one of the best with some really exciting World debuts, we look at some of our favourites.

Making its dynamic debut at Goodwood was the highly anticipated Abarth 124 Spider, a spiced up edition of Fiat’s recently released Mazda MX-5 rival. The 170bhp provided by the Spider’s 1.4-litre MultiAir Turbo engine will propel it from 0 to 62mph in 6.8 seconds, onto a top speed of 143mph.

The long-awaited successor to the Bugatti Veyron, the Chiron, was seen in public for the first time ever at. Producing an outrageous 1479bhp, the world’s new fastest car will be able to achieve up to 261mph and provided a spectacle as it took on the famous Hill Climb challenge.

The road-legal version of the 986bhp McLaren P1 GTR. Just five production models of the P1 LM will be made by Hampshirebased specialists Lanzante - it costs over £3 million and as well as making it’s World debut at Goodwood it also set a new Fastest ever time for the Hillclimb!

Goodwood is the backdrop to the DB11’s debut, giving the public its first chance to hear Aston's new forced-induction 5.2-litre V12 to gauge whether it's lost any of the aural magic of the old naturally aspirated 6.0-litre.

54

The Project Pinnacle concept from Bristol Cars made an appearance in camouflaged form. Now it has been given the production go-ahead and will be called The Bullet. It is reminiscent of old Bristol models, while the 'aero duct' front grille is taken from a Bristol Aeroplane Company engine. The car's looks have been crafted with input from an as-yet unnamed Italian design house…

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:25 pm Page 55

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Spiced Aubergine with Pomegranate Raita Ingredients: Method:

• 3 medium-large aubergines • 3tbsp rapeseed oil • 1 large onion, finely chopped • 2tsp cumin seeds • 2tsp coriander seeds • 1tsp allspice berries • 2 star anise • 1tsp ground cinnamon • 1tsp paprika • 10-12 tomatoes,chopped • 30g (1oz) coriander, chopped • 20g (¾oz) mint leaves, chopped FOR THE POMEGRANATE RAITA • Seeds of 1 pomegranate • 250g (9oz) live Greek yoghurt • Grated zest and juice of 1 lime • Sea salt and black pepper TO SERVE • A small bunch of mint, leaves torn • Salad leaves

1) For the raita, mix half the pomegranate seeds with the yoghurt, lime zest and juice in a bowl.

Season, then cover and chill until needed.

2) Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan 180°C/gas 6. Cut the aubergines into 3-4cm (1_-1_in) chunks and place on a baking sheet. Drizzle 2tbsp of the oil over and cook in the oven for 30 minutes until they start to char.

3) Remove and set aside. In a large pan over a low heat, fry the onion in the remaining oil until soft. In a separate pan, dry-fry the cumin and coriander seeds, allspice and star anise for 2 minutes, then use a pestle and mortar to grind them to a powder.

4) Add this to the onion with the cinnamon and paprika, and then stir in the aubergines and tomatoes. Cook over a low heat for 20- 30 minutes until little liquid is left. Leave to cool for 5 minutes, then add the chopped coriander and mint. Sprinkle the remaining pomegranate seeds and extra mint over the top, and then serve.

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:25 pm Page 57

Stran

Strange Strangebuttrue...

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:25 pm Page 58

STRANGE WAYS TO CURE YOURSELF! The major medical studies grab the spotlight in the media, but some of the best solutions to health problems are simple, little, and often unusual things.

Check out this list to see how easy it can be to cure yourself.

Change Your Name: People with "positive" initials—ones that spell out things like J.O.Y. or W.O.W.—live nearly 4 1/2 years longer than people with neutral initials. D.U.D.'s and A.S.S.'s live nearly 3 years less. Other initials that may shorten life: I.L.L. and D.E.D. Use the First Cubical: After analysing 51 public loo’s, experts found that the cubical closest to the toilet door consistently had the lowest bacteria levels (and the most toilet paper!). The first cubical probably sees less traffic because it's near the door and people want privacy. And when you're fin-

ished, stand before you flush. When toilets are flushed, a fine mist of water containing contagious bacteria sprays up. You can catch intestinal bugs and hepatitis from it.

YUCK, YUCK, YUCK… Splint a Broken Arm with a Magazine: To make an impromptu cast, place your wrist palm-down on top of a thick magazine. Roll the magazine into a U-shaped cradle and secure it with tape, an ace bandage, or long strips torn from a shirt. Unfortunately not the Costa Link, it has to be an A4 magazine...

Scratch the Other Limb: For itchy skin under a cast, try scratching the same place on the other arm or foot. This may trick your brain into thinking you're scratching the real itch.

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:25 pm Page 59

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:25 pm Page 60

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

WE WON’T SEE ANOTHER MONTH LIKE THAT!

What a month! The downs and ups and downs of the pound after the Brexit and a change of leadership.

The Purchasing Manager’s indexpublished at the end of last month showed the biggest fall in the UK’s economic activity since April 2009 and the rate to buy Euros has fallen.

The data from the PMI published by Markit showed a fall to 47.7 and manufacturing and service sectors both showed a big fall. The figures can directly be attributed to the impact of the EU referendum vote and the Brexit has caused this big drop in activity.

60

UK business was clearly adopting the wait and see approach and this has been reflected in the data. Chief economist at Markit Chris Williamson has suggested that the economy could even contract by 0.4% during the third quarter which if this is the case could cause huge problems for Sterling exchange rates in the future.

This negative data could prompt the Bank of England to make changes to monetary policy when their next meeting takes place on 4th August.

BoE governor Mark Carney has already spoken out on a number of times suggesting that the

central bank will do what it needs to in order to settle the British economy in the wake of the Brexit vote and if we see a change when the meeting takes place then this could also cause problems for the Pound. There is a high chance of a rate cut from the already record low of 0.5% to 0.25%. What could damage Sterling is if Mark Carney to implement Quantitative Easing (QE). QE is essentially pumping money into an economy in order to stimulate growth. He has £150bn at his disposal so if there is an announcement expectst he Pound to fall in value.

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 61

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 62

What’s On Guide...

July 14th to 19th August 2016: Starlight Festival, the favourite stage for international stars huge array of top stars are descending over Marbella including: Tom Jones, Il Divo, Status Quo, The Corrs to name but a few. It's location on the open-air nature, with perfect acoustics an amazing venue it’s a event not to be missed in Marbella – see page 63 for more details.

July 21st to 21st August 2016: Summer Food Festival, food from all over the world – entertainment and live music something for everyone. Located Opposite Corte Ingles Puerto Banus Calle Antonio el bailarín from 7pm to 2am everyday.

1st - 2nd August 2016: The Moorish Moon Festival is, once again this summer, turning the streets of Mijas Pueblo into the nerve centre of the culture, magic and charm of Al-Andalus. The walls and the streets will be illuminated by more than 60,000 candles. The artists who will appear in the international concerts are still to be confirmed. What has already been confirmed is the presence of lots of merchants in the huge souk and lots of people browsing the stalls.

13th to the 20th August 2016: Malaga Feria Every year the city of Málaga lights up as it celebrates its week-long fair with live music, dance, traditional food, flamenco, and amusement park rides. For more information please see: www.malagaturismo.com.

27th August 2016: A World of Magic a free show with all the kids favourites. Mickey Mouse, SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer and Pocoyo to be held at the Palacio de Congresos y Exposiciones de Marbella. Call for more info: 952 82 82 44.

Until September 15th 2016: Art in the Street - On the walls near the Museo del Grabado in Marbella and La Plaza de la Libertad in San Pedro de Alcántara. The walls will show the works of 23 Andalucian artists. There are 46 images (23 in each location – 2 per artist).

Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm.

Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in Fuengirola at the Bar Salon Varietes. 11am -12.30pm.

Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala from 11am-12.30pm.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol.

Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

62

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 64

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

64

Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground.

Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa).

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

13th to 20th August: Malaga Feria. During the Feria de MĂĄlaga, the city buzzes with colour and life. (Lots of businesses are working shorter hours or may be closed at this time, please check before you travel).

15th August: Feast of the Assumption.

29th August: Bank holiday UK and Gibraltar.

check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 65

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 66

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during August 2016...

Capricorn

Capricorn, on August 5th 2016 Venus, enters your sign giving you a wider perspective on your relationship, and will make you have deeper more meaningful feelings. You could have a long-distance liaison or with someone from abroad or make a romantic journey. The Moon eclipse that takes place on August 18th 2016 your sign brining with it a change in terms of finances. It could bring unexpected events, good or bad, depending on your solar chart, but also clarification. Either way, you should set aside some emergency funds and think carefully about financial decisions. During August 2016 you should pay more attention than ever to health. Take care of yourself! Careful how you move about and handle dangerous objects!

Aquarius

Aquarius, the Sun in your sign this month is highlighting values in your life. Yes, your relationship and love are at the center of your existence. The presence of the Sun generates a greater emotional availability the need to do as much as possible together. The Moon eclipse that happens in August 2016 could emphasize some weak points in your relationships. On the work front August 2016 will see you reaching within to achieve your professional goals. You enjoy particular success in-group activities, and collaborations and teamwork are a given. You could also get involved in too much, decimating your forces and exposing yourself to high stress. You also tend to think you have no time to take care of your health, which is a mistake. Take it easier, there’s plenty enough time to do it all!

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 66

Pisces, love and happiness that’s how August 2016 looks to be shaping up! Jupiter and Venus, have a date. You end up in lucky circumstances, as if the universe has conspired to fulfill your desires. But the term also has deeper meanings, meant to highlight the significance of life as a couple and to give some direction or purpose to the joint path. August and September 2016 are particularly relevant for Pisceans in regard to relationships and must be lived consciously and responsibly. With Mars and Saturn in your skies as regards work August 2016 it’s time to make brutal decisions regarding your career. It’s time for decisive action to set in motion something new that you’ve been thinking about for a while now. Finances depend upon professional decisions and on how well you set in motion your strategies. Focus on major goals and don’t give up until you achieve them!

Aries, August 2016 will be a month to deal with day-to-day tasks, a time to take stock and reenergise your inner soul. Make the most of the outdoors get yourself to the beach relax and enjoy the summer. The pace changes for the better substantially come end of month. On the work and money front August 2016 promises to be a significant month for you. Venus will bring you the opportunity of money through collaborations. Long-distance travels and contacts could be profitable, but also risky. So be careful!

Mercury will be in your sign where it will stay at little longer than usual – until October 7th 2016, its retrograde cycle. So you can expect changes to happen with regards to travel and communication. Health could be a topic of interest for Arians during August 2016, if you have neglected medical issues take care of them this month.

Taurus, August 2016 really sees you expressing your feelings, it’s time to be adventurous and to fall in love. Jupiter, Mercury, and Venus are in your skies. If you are single now is a great time to get out there and meet that special someone – if you are attached why not try and spice your life up a bit with a few hot summer dates. On the work and finance front, you are much more interested in holidays than work this month. It could be that you are now going to enjoy one of the best holidays of your life. If you have to work, you should know you could achieve amazing results – provided you take pleasure in the work. Your talents and creativity are at their peak so use them with confidence! August 2016 is excellent for any promotion or publicity you will reap the rewards with little effort. You’ll be filled with the joys of summer, get out there have fun and you’ll be full of energy make the most of it!

Gemini, August 2016 is a complex month regarding relationships. You have a few options on the boil but they jury is still out to see if they will become friendships or you fall in love. Saturn in your sign makes things more difficult, serious or complicated. You’ve dealt with this configuration before, during March-April-May. Now it’s as if you’d draw the line and add things up. It’s a time of drawing conclusions and make decisions and take action. Steer clear of impulsive or rash decisions as much as possible! On the work front you seem to be hitting a brick wall, work your magic and charm your way out of bad situations.

The stars are behind you Gemini. You’re not doing badly at all financially during August 2016 and you could be successful in long-term investments. You are feeling a bit stressed this month relax and be as forgiving with others as you can!

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, August 2016 is not a very satisfying month for you in terms of relationships. Saturn is in a not so favorable position. It emphasises duties and efforts you are making in your relationship.

Maybe you now feel that everything is a little one sided? Honestly, you’d be better taking time off during August 2016! It’s not an easy or cheerful month for you on the work front. The Mars-Saturn conjunction in your sign promises hard work, greater responsibilities and difficult circumstances. You could have a busy schedule or work under difficult conditions. But you can take comfort in the thought that you’ll make money, that you have the opportunity to advance, that your effort will be rewarded. Hold on to your sense of humour and adopt a positive attitude under all circumstances!

Leo, Saturn-Mars are in your skies this month this is a combination that generates passionate love affairs a great time to get out and play the field. You need to be careful though, particularly when the Moon eclipse happens on August the 18th 2016. One more thing: Venus’ location this month suggests the existence of a connection between relationships and money, with a tendency toward excessive spending.

With the Sun situated right in Leo, during August 2016 you have opportunity to stand out, have success, and increase your prestige. August is important financially it’s an excellent time for stocktaking, but you’d better make significant decisions after September 22nd. Don’t squander away money, don’t spend more than you can afford, and don’t let yourself be fooled by the mirage of easy money! There is no such things as a free lunch Leo. Virgo, August 2016 is a happy month. Jupiter, Venus and Mercury are in your skies for the entire month. With this trine of powerhouses expect significant events, a new love might begin or you will rekindle the romance in a current relationship. Exciting events will take place all month. Your lucky stars (because you have more than one) pour their benevolence upon your professional life too. The planets also help you come up with grand plans, make new collaborators and allies. This will all be helpful in your path ahead. You are also lucky with your finances as well: money comes easily and you enjoy various favours and perks. You are too busy enjoying life to worry about health. During August 2016 you feel well, strong, bursting of optimism and confidence in your own devices. But don’t fall prey to excess and carelessness, because the term is not entirely without risk!

Libra, August 2016, will find it a little rocky as regard your relationship. Mars and Saturn are in a rather a somber mood. So goodbye romance this month! If you want to look on the brighter side of things, get busy working with your partner; joint efforts will help you get to one goal helping you bond in the mean time. But don’t abandon hope: on August 30th 2016 Venus enters your skies, and next month will be a lot happier. On the work front August 2016 could see you having trouble focusing, zooming in on objectives – and perhaps the objectives themselves are quite fuzzy. Don’t worry! Your time will come soon. Beginning next month, you are a lot more active. You should be careful and show restraint when it comes to money. Keep your head down and get through the month reap the rewards in September.

Take very good care of yourself, rest, and listen to your body!

Scorpio, August 2016 is a splendid month for love. Venus, will see you lucky in love. Jupiter and Mercury also get involved. Luck in love may come from somewhere afar or you could take a journey for love. Intellectual and cultural ties also favour your relationships this month. Your friends might introduce you to someone, help you get back together with someone, or give you love advice. If you’re already in a relationship, during August 2016 you can have all the fun you want with your loved one. Ambitions are running high this month at work, but so are possibilities to fulfill them. You ooze confidence and authority, assert yourself you’ll get everything you want back in return. You’re successful and enjoy popularity, but you could encounter some financial difficulties. Be more social and don’t hesitate to ask for others’ opinion or support when needed!

Sagittarius, during August 2016 relationships are under the spotlight! Mercury, Venus and Jupiter will bring you luck in love. Your love life and your partner’s concerns are tightly tied to public life.

Everything could be perfect, provided that you don’t fall in the trap of nursing exaggerated expectations, much greater than what is achievable in reality. With both benefics – Venus and Jupiter, August 2016 promises success and achievements. Luck is on your side; you enjoy opportunities and favourable circumstances. Your health and wellbeing are in the limelight this month be careful, avoid risky situations and show restraint! The Mars-Saturn conjunction could also affect your good mood, confidence, and optimism. Don’t become gloomy, don’t dramatize! Relax!

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 68

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 69

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:27 pm Page 70

puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 80

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:

1)

____

3)

______

2) 4) 5)

BY

OVER

BUS

_ _ _ __

MILK

PASTE

FAIRY

______

BALL

FRUIT

CASE

____

TOWER COAT

FREAK

PIKE

REMOTE

ABOUT

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

70

Brain Teaser

HOW DID THE POLICE KNOW? A bank is getting robbed and one of the robbers tells one of the tellers to give him all of the money. The teller tells him she doesn't have access to it.

Suddenly the phone rings. The robber tells the teller to answer it and not give them away. She picks up the phone and it happens to be her mother. She tells her mother "Is this an emergency mum? Call me when I get home, I could use some help painting." Then she hangs up.

The robbers continue to try to get into the vault but twenty minutes later the police show up with the tellers mum and arrest them all.

How did the police know about the robbery?

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:45 pm Page 71

Crossword

Across: 7. That which differs somewhat from the norm (7) 9. Kingdom or domain (5) 10. Grandma (3) 11. Bird belonging to the Grouse family (9) 12. Command (5) 14. Military aircraft (7) 16. Mathemetician and astronomer (7) 18. Averse to animal products (5) 19. Contradictory terms (9) 20. Slang for toilet (3) 21. Wash lightly (5) 22. Dairy product (7) Down: 1. Late service in the Anglican Church (8) 2. Smile broadly (4) 3. Interfere (6) 4. Base coat (6) 5. Rinse not swallowing (8) 6. Portent (4) 8. Surgical operation to windpipe (11) 13. Lingering; loitering (8) 15. Restore (8) 17. Encircled, repeated (6) 18. Countenance or appearance; face (6) 19. Boat propulsion (4) 20. Unruly person (4)

Name The Film

A Staring Goldie Hawn - Reunited by the B death of a college friend, three divorced women seek revenge on the husbands who left them for younger women. (1996).

A desk-bound CIA analyst volunteers to go undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer, and prevent a global disaster. Staring Melissa McCarthy (2015)

WORLDS

WORLDS

Say What You See...

thoudeepght

Y N N U S

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:45 pm Page 72

The Jokespage

Jokespage

An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Norwegian, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese man, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, a Canadian, an Argentinian, a Korean and a Swiss man walked into a pub.

The bouncer says "Sorry......

I can’t let you in without a Thai".

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...

"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed... The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know I thought you were watching."

A gorilla walks into a bar and says. “A scotch on the rocks, please.” Then the gorilla hands the barman €20. The barman thinks that the gorilla won’t understand money or the price of drinks and gives him €2 change. The barman says, “You know, we don’t get too many gorilla in here.” The gorilla replies, “Well, at €18 a drink, I’m not coming back either.”

A man charges through the door of the A&E department in an Essex hospital, absolutely covered in blood.

A Doctor runs up to him and asks, “Where are you bleeding from?”

“Colchester,” the man replies.

72

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her Stammerer's Action Group. She had tried every technique in the book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said; "If any of you can tell me where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water."

The Welshman immediately piped up; "C-c-c-c-c-c-c-ardiff", he said. "That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist, "Who's next?"

The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out; "G-g-g-g-g-g-gl-lasgow". "That's no better Hamish". The Irishman took a deep breath, counted to 5 and eventually blurted out; "London ". Brilliant, Paddy! said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise. After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said; …… …… ……"d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:45 pm Page 73

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costalinkmagazine©2016

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:46 pm Page 74

Why was it so hard to call the pirate on the phone?

Because he left the phone off the hook

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at C!

74

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:46 pm Page 75

with Jake & the pirates Arrrh maties can you find the lost words in the wordsearch?

Give Jake Some Colour

eyepatch pirate hook jake ahoy treasure gold map

captain parrot

T Q C A P T A I N J

T P J G V U M P R E A A O Y A I E H K R K L P R A I E N R E D A S Y O H A O P T U D V X H Q T E R E Y E P A T C E I O K O O H H I P E T W Z R Y R R N N A K H K

G H Y Q T L H D T W

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:46 pm Page 76

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:46 pm Page 77

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:46 pm Page 78

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August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/07/16 12:46 pm Page 80

puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Wales 2) Portugal & France 3) Argentina 4) Capricorn 5) Soup 6) Serena Williams 7) Wiltshire 8) Insects 9) Andy Murray 10) Theresa May 11) The Shard it’s Tower is 1016ft high 12) West Sussex 13) Hugh Grant 14) Terry Waite 15) Pink 16) Smallest 17) In El Palacio de la Zarzuela, Madrid 18) Kew 19) Simple Simon 20) Boots 21) Monopoly 22) Big Breakfast 23) Worms 24) Ena Sharples 25) Florida 26) Golf 27) Salt 28) Charles Perrault 29) Lima 30) The French Riveria

Answers from 24, 70 & 71

it out

Link The Words 1) Pass 2) Tooth 3) Control 4) Basket 5) Turn

Guess The Celeb a) Tom Hiddleston b) Natalie Portman

Brain Teaser

Answer: The teller used the mute button on the phone so her mother only heard "Emergency... Call... Help."

This is how she knew to call the police.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film

a) The First Wives Club (1996) b) SPY (2015)

Say What You See 1) Deep in Thought

80

2) Worlds Apart

3) Sunny Side Up

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:32 pm Page 81

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:32 pm Page 82

At MUSE Hair and Beauty we offer something different

The salon is large and modern with a very welcoming atmosphere and caters for all age groups Something more than just the average salon

August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:32 pm Page 83

Newly opened in April 2016

We are all English speaking but can also coverse in Spanish, German and French

MUSE The source of artiic inspiration Telephone: 629 20 94 79 Follow us on :Musemijasgolf

Muse Hair and Beauty, Mijas Golf (at the end of the BBQ area) Camino de CoĂ­n, Mijas Costa

Muse is located at the foot of Mijas Golf

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