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Dilmun Hill, Cornell’s student-run farm, provides fresh produce for students. | Page 8

The Sun’s Arts writers break down the must-see movies you may have missed this summer. | Page 9

Junior track captain Caroline Kellner sits down with the Sun for a Q&A session. | Page 16

Construction Over Summer Session Sparks Complaints Administrator says work is ‘necessity’ for operation of Univ. during semester

By SLOANE GRINSPOON Sun Senior Writer

Despite numerous complaints regarding the increased amount of construction on campus during the summer months, Kyu-Jung Whang, vice president of “We have received Facilities Services, said summer projects are a some complaints “necessity” for campus regarding all the road operations during the closures this summer.” school year.

Cornell underwent Kyu-Jung Whang numerous construction projects over the summer months, including the renovation of Statler Hall entrance, road work on Campus Road for the future Gannett Health

CONNOR ARCHARD / SUN SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY EDTIOR

Construction boom | Construction outside of Goldwin Smith Hall was one of the major construction projects taking place on campus over the summer term. In December 2015, Klarman Hall will open behind Goldwin Smith.

Services expansion and the continued construction of Klarman Hall.

Whang said members of the Cornell community have expressed frustration with the traffic caused by the construction projects over the summer.

“We have received some complaints regarding all the road closures this summer, but most people understand the necessity of summer construction for the campus to oper-

ate during the rest of the year,” Whang said.

According to Whang, the fall semester will see the continued construction of Klarman Hall andUniversity plans to begin construction on the Gannett Health Center expansion in the spring.

“The Klarman and Gannett projects will be our largest See CONSTRUCTION page 4

Local Ithaca Roaster Opens New Branch in Gates Hall New location offers students more coffee blends

By ANDREW LEE

flavours like French Roast to exotic ones like Ethiopia Limu and Malawi Mzuzu.

Students in Gates’ Hall can now “We have a whole department enjoy a cup of coffee between classes devoted to sourcing the coffee specifiin the newest campus coffee shop, run cally,” Mateer said. “A lot of other by local roaster Gimme! Coffee. companies roast their beans to make While the Cornell branch — sure they’re consistent across the which opened last Thursday in Gates’ world, so they end up buying much Workplace Atrium, located at the larger lots whereas Gimme! focuses on entrance of the having a direct relabuilding — is tionship with a lot of “We’re under the smaller than its its growers.” impression that once sister locations in According to MatIthaca and New more people know about eer, while Gimme!

York City, managworks with the location, things will Coffee er Nikolas Mateer farmers from across said that he was pick up.” the world, it also “very happy” with partners with local Nikolas Mateer current levels of businesses like Krums business at Gates Corners Bakery in Hall.

Ithaca.

“Things have been getting busier “We also roast our coffee at Krums every day,” Mateer said. “We’re getting Corners right here in Ithaca,” he said. the impression that once more people “Each of our location sends back tastknow about the location, things will ing notes back to the roastery to pick up even more.” ensure the coffee tastes as intended According to Mateer, Gimme! and to be tweaked if necessary.”

Coffee is dedicated to maintaining a Though plans for the coffee shop positive relationship with its growers, have been brewing for over a year, the while still diversifying the coffee fla- University announced its construction vors on offer. Blends at the Gates’ building site range from more familiar See COFFEE page 5 Sun Staff Writer

MICHELLE FELDMAN / SUN SENIOR EDITOR

Ice ice baby | President David Skorton [center]; Prof. Robin Davisson; biomedical sciences [left]; and Susan Murphy ’73 Ph.D. ’94, vice president for Student and Academic Services [right], participate in the ice bucket challenge yesterday evening.

Skorton and Murphy Take Part in Ice Bucket Challenge

By JONATHAN LOBEL Sun Staff Writer

President David Skorton and Susan Murphy ’73 Ph.D. ’94, vice president for Student and Visit Academic Services, cornellsun.com were the latest to parto watch the ice ticipate in the “ALS Ice Bucket Challenge bucket challenge.

” and dump buckets of ice water on their head.

Dozens of Cornellians gathered outside of Donlon Hall wednesday evening to watch Skorton and Murphy take the challenge, which involves individuals having buckets of ice water poured on them to raise awareness for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou See ICE BUCKET page 4

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014

Today

DAYBOOK

Thursday, August 28, 2014

weather FORECAST

Daybook Today Zombie Noun Apocalypse With Jill Swenson 12:15 - 1:15 p.m., 102 Mann Library Room

America’s Coming Infrastructure Crisis: Where Will the Money Come From?

4:45 - 5:45 p.m., 23 Plant Science Building

Eudemian Ethics Workshop 3 - 6 p.m., 206 Stimson Hall Center for Applied Mathematics Colloquium 3:30 p.m., G01 Gates Hall Exploring Cornell’s Rare Book and Manuscripts 3:40 - 4:00 p.m., Kroch Library Bienvenidos BBQ 5 p.m., Anna Comstock Hall Welcome Weekend: Thank Goodness It’s Friday 7 p.m. - Midnight, Willard Straight Hall

Large lines and impatient students have traditionally marked Cornell’s course exchange. But Wednesday’s version, running from 8:30 a.m. to 12 p.m, will be noticeably different from those of previous years.

Cornellians who were once guided through the hectic adding and dropping of classes by time slips will notice the most drastic change immediately the slips have been replaced by a first-come-first-serve system.

In the past, the time slips assigned students to 15 minute slots in which they could add and drop courses. However, the allotted 15 minutes inevitably stretched on to several hours, resulting in lines of frustrated students.

“The tickets were inconvenient and the lines were miserable,” Richard Bruckner ’00 said.

In addition to students’ compliants, the ticketed course exchange also displeased campus administrators.

According to Patricia Dougherty, registrar for

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Throwback Thursday

Reconsidering the Large Lecture Course: A Faculty Panel Discussion 3:00 - 4:30 p.m., Statler Amphitheater Where Bruce Lee Meets Gojira: Anti-Japanism, Anti-Americanism and the Failure of Decolonization With Leo Ching 4:30 - 6:00 p.m., Lewis Auditorium, Goldwin Smith Hall

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the College of Arts and Sciences, the ticket system was a “major problem,” often resulting in more confusion that organization. “Students forged tickets with earlier times and there was always an overflow of students from ... one time period to another,” she said.

“We felt that a ticketless system will make it easier and reduce the amount of work for the people behind the desks,” Dougherty added. Sharing Barton Hall with the arts college will be the College of Industrial and Labor Relations and the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. The first-come policy will apply to all three schools at today’s exchange.

Although Dougherty said the new policy is merely a trial, ideally, the change in the process will eliminate complaints from both parties. She added the registrars are open to other strategies as well.

“Of course, this is just a trial run,” Dougherty said. “If it simplifies the process, than we will abandon the tickets completely and adopt this new system. If not, we will continue experimenting until we find something that is right,” Dougherty said.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014 3

NEWS

Janowitz Remembered as‘Caring’

By TALIA JUBAS Sun Staff Writer

Poet and Prof. Emerita Phyllis Janowitz, English, died August 17 at Seneca View Skilled Nursing Facility in Montour Falls, New York. She was 84.

Janowitz taught creative writing and poetry at Cornell for nearly 30 years and served twice as the director of the English Department’s creative writing program — once from 1980 to 1983 and then again from 1986 to 1991 — before retiring in 2009, according to a University press release.

Prof. Roger Gilbert, English Department chair, said he was “extremely fond” of Janowitz, though he said he did not know her JANOWITZ as well as other faculty.

“She had a wonderfully dry, self-deprecating sense of humor, but was also very warm and caring, especially when it came to students,” he said.

Janowitz was born on March 9, 1930. She graduated magna cum laude from Queens College in 1951 and earned an MFA in creative writing from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst in 1970, according to the University.

She went on to teach at Bunting Institute, Radcliffe College, Harvard University and Princeton University prior to joining Cornell in 1982, according to her Curriculum Vitae. She served as a poet in residence

before becoming a full professor.

Colleagues, including Prof. Stephanie Vaughn, english, said Janowitz’s character was reflected in her poetry.

“It was her tender spirit and her unflinching accommodation to every kind of person on the “She ... was also very planet that sang through warm and caring, every poem,” especially when it Vaughn said.

V a u g h n came to students.” added that J a n o w i t z ’ s Prof. Roger Gilbert friends, colleagues and former students will miss her sense of humor.

“She was a good friend to each of her colleagues, and a protector of each of her students. She made you laugh, and she made you feel good about yourself,” she said.

“Everyone who knew her will miss her.”

Janowitz was the author of three poetry collections, and her work has been published in several publications, including The New Yorker, The Atlantic Monthly and The Paris Review.

She is survived by her daughter, Tama, and her son, David.

Talia Jubas can be reached at tjubas@cornellsun.com.

Vintage vinyl

JASMINE CURTIS / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Eisha Neely, reproductions and exhibitions coordinator at Cornell Library, shows students vinyls from Africa Bambaataa’s collection during a tour yesterday.

Cornell Alliance for Science Awarded $5.6M Grant University-affiliated alliance seeks to communicate effects of agricultural biotechnology

By ANNIE BUI Sun News Editor

With a $5.6 million grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the Cornell Alliance for Science will enable collaboration between organizations and individuals around the world to depolarize the debate around agricultural biotechnology.

Established earlier this month, the

alliance will help to inform decision-makers and consumers through an online information portal and training programs, according to Prof. Sarah Evanega Ph.D. ’09, plant breeding and genetics, who is also the project’s lead. The alliance will then help researchers and other stakeholders communicate the function and potential effects of agricultural technology.

Playing with clay

“[We] engag[e] with organizations and individuals whose positions reflect a spectrum of beliefs around biotechnology, but share some of our core values around sustainable agriculture and expanding the range of choices for farmers and consumers,” Evanega said.

Though the concept of the Alliance for Science has been considered since Evanega received her Ph.D. in 2009, she said it “all came together” at a February meeting where representatives from the public sector and not-for-profit organizations convened to discuss biotechnology communications.

“In my travels … investigating various GMO technologies as a plant biologist, I met many scientists and farmers who were angry that they did not have access to what they considered were very sustainable technologies,” she said. “We have been in what I call the discovery phase since then, with discussions with various partners from both developed and developing countries.”

Now that the grant is in “full swing,” according to Evanega, the alliance is planning activities, including annual confer-

ences and certificate programs in biotechnology leadership.

She added that members of the team encompass the entire globe, with a “core staff” remaining at Cornell in hopes of engaging members of the Cornell community, including staff, students and faculty.

“We are a global team. One of the goals of the project is to help coordinate, and empower a global network of science communicators,” Evanega said. “The ‘core’ members of the alliance [are] the group that came together in February from around the world. But we are building the ‘alliance’ itself, encouraging people to join and let their voices be heard.”

Evanega also said that in the long run, the Alliance for Science hopes to address major agricultural challenges through policy innovation.

“We hope to foster more constructive policies about biotechnology as one useful tool to address major agricultural challenges,” she said.

Annie Bui can be reached at abui@cornellsun.com.

Around The ivies Dartmouth Alumnus Publishes Book About Hazing Experiences

Dartmouth College student Andrew Lohse released his book, Confessions of an Ivy League Frat Boy: A Memoir, on Tuesday, according The Dartmouth. The 300 page book details his experiences when he was member of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity. The fraternity received a three-term probation in April 2012 after Dartmouth investigated hazing allegations.

Columbia Launches New Sexual Assault Policy

KELLY YANG / SUN NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Steve Plachtyna grad creates a clay sculpture in a workshop at the Johnson Museum of Art yesterday.

Columbia University released a new gender-based policy on Aug. 15, according to The Columbia Daily Spectator. Among many changes, the new policy removes students from serving on hearing panels and adds case managers and allows lawyers during the adjudication process.

Students have issued a statement expressing concerns that student voices were not heard when the administration wrote the policy.

— Compiled by Sofia Hu

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014

NEWS

Official: Summer Construction President Skorton,Murphy Projects Are a‘Necessity’ To Donate to ALS Association

East Ave. to remain closed to public until 2015 CONSTRUCTION Continued from page 1

and most visible construction projects during the next academic year,” Whang said. “All road closures, except for East Avenue, have been reopened last Friday as scheduled.”

Klarman Hall — a new humanities building that will adjoin East Avenue — will feature a new café, 33,250 square feet of new space and the highest occupancy auditorium on the Arts Quad, according to the College of Arts and Sciences website. The building will also be environmentally friendly with a LEED Platinum certification.

One lane of East Avenue has been closed due to the construction and will be closed through April of 2015 when the lane will reopen for the Sesquicentennial celebration weekend, according to Whang.

In addition, a new renovation to Statler Hall was built over the summer. The

TYLER ALICEA / SUN MANAGING EDITOR

renovation expanded the entry vestibule and added second floor classroom space.

Franklin Yang ’17 said he appreciates the University’s efforts to improve the buildings.

“I think the new entrance is beautiful,” Yang said. “It ... fits in well with the other tower.”

Yang added the thinks

hat the construction was not disruptive because it was done over the summer.

“Construction was only done in the summer and I was not taking any summer classes so it was not distracting,” Yang said.

Sloane Grinspoon can be reached at sgrinspoon@cornellsun.com.

ICE BUCKET

Continued from page 1

Gehrig’s disease.

The challenge — which went viral in early August — has helped the ALSAssociation raise over $94.3 million in donations since July 29, the association announced Wednesday night. Both Skorton and Murphy said they would donate to the cause.

Skorton, who was challenged by several people, said he was primarily responding to Cornell University Chief of Police Kathy Zoner’s challenge on Aug. 20.

As students and faculty gathered outside of Donlon Hall, President Skorton exited the building sporting a pair of flip-flops and a Cornell t-shirt. He then noted the importance of non-profit organizations in raising awareness and funding for research.

“The ALS association does so much to raise public awareness and to help patients and their families to understand and cope with a very, very difficult disease,” Skorton said.

Skorton nominated his wife Robin Davisson, the Andrew D. White Professor of Molecular Physiology; Tom Rochon, president of Ithaca College; and Carl Haynes, president of Tompkins Cortland Community College, prior to completing the challenge.

Davisson then accepted her husband’s challenge. “[The ALS Association] does incredible research to help us find a positive

cure for ALS,” she said.

Davisson then nominated Michael Kotlikoff, dean of the College of Veterinary Medicine, and his wife Carolyn McDaniels to complete the challenge.

Murphy said raising awareness for the disease was particularly important to her, as the daughter of a colleague in the Cornell Athletics Department had recently died from the disease.

“We need to do all we can to advance the research of ALS,” Murphy said.

Once Skorton and Davisson made their nominations, Cornell residential hall advisors poured buckets of ice water on each of the three participants while the audience cheered on the administrators and Davisson.

Lauren Hsu ’18 said she appreciated Skorton’s nominations of Cornell’s “sister schools” in Ithaca.

“It’s good how [Skorton] involved the presidents of other schools. It’s good for publicizing ALS and the issues behind it,” she said.

Richalice Melendez ’16 said she was touched by the Cornell leadership’s dedication to the spread of ALS awareness.

“I thought it was really good for them to do it”, she said. “The fact that they’re all making donations is also really important. [Murphy] talked about someone close to her who had suffered from the disease, which gave it increased significance.”

Jonathan Lobel can be reached at jlobel@cornellsun.com.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014 5

NEWS

Gimme! Coffee Opens New Shop in Gates Hall COFFEE

Continued from page 1

near the end of July, according to Mateer.

“I started working at Gimme! a little bit over a year ago, and they were already talking about opening a location in Gates Hall,” Mateer said. “We’re very happy with what we have now.”

Mateer adds that he and his staff were still determining how many and which types of coffee were most pop-

ular among Cornellians.

“At our State Street location, we have our Leftist Espresso and Decaf Espresso blends,” Mateer said. “We don’t [have] them at the Gates location yet, but if there's enough interest, it’s possible we could.”

Cornell students say they have already expressed their interest in visiting Gimme Coffee.

“This summer I spent a lot of time going to Gimme Coffee,” said Millicent Kastenbaum ’16. “It’s a business that started locally, and the coffee is fantastic! That’s

why I’m excited there’s a Gimme! of our very own on campus!”

Charlie Fraioli ’16 echoed Kastenbaum’s sentiments, saying he looked forward to visiting Gimme!.

“It’s way better than Starbucks and pretty much the same price,” Fraioli said. “I spend a lot of time going to their downtown locations, but now I don’t have to.”

Andrew Lee can be reached at alee@cornellsun.com.

Quiet city

Pitchfork? Too mainstream.

CHERYL SENTER / THE NEW YORK TIMES

John Foley, father of American journalist James Foley, at a mass for James at Our Lady of the Holy Rosary in Rochester, New Hampshire, on Sunday. James Foley was killed in a video released last week by the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria.

I get my music from The Sun Arts Section.

OPINION

Kevin Milian |

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Learning to Lose Control

Independent Since 1880 132ND EDITORIAL BOARD HALEY VELASCO ’15 Editor in Chief

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ALL OPINIONS WELCOME.

Milian Dollar Baby

S

o this is my first column! I join the good money and eventually become rich leagues of Carrie Bradshaw, Phoebe alumni and create a building on campus.

Halliwell and countless “Ask [insert Or at least dedicate a nice bench. Here matronly name here]”s in print. For now across the pond, there’s a bigger rift I’ll follow the lead of my peers and between work and play. attempt to give you some sage advice from All work and no play makes Jack a dull a not-so-sage-but-senior. Now to address boy, but little work and too much time the title: This is not a column about par- makes Kevin a bored college student. The tying. The title might give you the impres- only good thing that’s come out of all this sion that I’m some sort of clenched-first- free time is that I get to write a lot. While repressed workaholic who doesn’t party. we do find ways to relax at Cornell, like This is not one of those “I learned to put turning loose on weekends, and focusing my guard down, and drunkenly sang when necessary, we’ve given up plenty of karaoke on a table wearing only a button- our enjoyments for complete control of down and boxers” confessions. It’s more our lives. When’s the last time you strolled about coming to terms with the brick wall through the Arboretum at the Plantations that is life and how I can’t control every- and truly “smelled the roses?” When was thing. Well more like “we” can’t control the last time you turned off your phone everything. and walked somewhere without replying Cornell is full of us Type-A people. We to Snapchats or listening to music? When obsessed over our schedules, (try to) keep was the last time you listened to music track of our BRBs and even calculate the and not just heard it as background music costs and benefits of our occasional hook while writing a paper? The answer is probup. We gauge the number of nights we can ably closer to “never” than “often.” While go out versus our weekly readings and they French may take enjoyment to a miss birthdays, weddings and graduations decadent level (there are little pleasure for prelims. Our gardens everyworld is one of where), there is To the freshmen starting their first a certain efferstrict schedules and deadlines. vescent joy to semester, enjoy the ride that is To the few Type eating that pasCornell and Ithaca life, be flexible, try without Bs out there, I salute you and Instagramming strive to make a diverse friend your naps in the it, or counting group (people for every occasion cocktail lounge. calories.

This probaThe problem and from many backgrounds) and bly isn’t even a comes from trysoak up as much of your amazing ing to control thing exclusive to the Big Red, everything. faculty and services as you can. but it’s fun to Trying to conthink we’re spetrol more than cial snowflakes. Inherent in our American our own lives, the outfits we wear, the corporate culture is this need to please, to food we eat and the classes we take. We compete and keep climbing up this meta- walk a fine line between free will and the physical ladder of success. While the glass path laid out by our parents, society and ceiling exists, it’s also ever-rising. I write academic advisors. While we may want to this from a perspective abroad, I’m cur- “shape our destiny” as much as we can, we rently living in the land of fashion, choco- should also learn to let things go more late and 30 hour work weeks. As a hopeful often.

Millennial who wants to be employed Inefficiency is a major problem for me after graduation, this seems crazy, I here, but it’s also prevalent in Cornell life. worked 40 unpaid hours at an internship Professors may not always reply to emails, (and loved it) and people here have so cutting in line at Becker Dining may slow much free to do what? Twiddle thumbs down your consumption of delicious food and burn daylight? and we can be inefficient with our class It’s interesting to live in a country work. Learning to find humor in ineffiwhere guilt pleasures aren’t guilty, and ciency, whether it’s laughing at others or people take three-hour lunches. Could at your own blunders can be a good way you imagine a three-hour lunch? I’d go to loosen up. home, nap, cook something, ride the To the freshmen starting their first TCAT back to campus, chat with friends semester, enjoy the ride that is Cornell on the Quad, return my library books and and Ithaca life, be flexible, strive to make then go back to class or work. So some of a diverse friend group (people for every us do have three-hour lunches, heck a lot occasion and from many backgrounds) of us don’t have classes Mondays and and soak up as much of your amazing facFriday (fellow seniors, I salute you). But ulty and services as you can. Accept obstathese are adults. Real people. With cles, accept difficulty and learn when to incomes and vacations and dogs and bend and break. To the sophomores, mouths to feed. juniors and seniors, know that things The French really do believe in the joie aren’t always going to go as planned, you de vivre. They eat slowly and sip good may not get that grade, that research posiwine and have long conversations. My tion, that internship or that vote, but in joys in life include Best Vines compila- the end everything happens for a reason. tions on YouTube and Pad Thai scarfed in Yeah, I know I sound preachy, but life is a between episodes of Orange is the New series of random events occurring in a speBlack while reading assignments. And my cific pattern and out of endless possibilischedule. I live for my busy schedule. The ties, we live the life that occurred. Deep e-board meetings, my shift at my two breaths, a smile and an optimistic attitude jobs, band rehearsal, lab meetings, study will be your best weapons on The Hill. sessions and study breaks give me life. Am I wrong to like being devoid of relaxation?

Should we alert Gannett? Maybe. We’re Kevin Milian is a senior in the College of Arts taught to love what we do, to seek out and Sciences. He can be reached at kmilian@corcareers that will fulfill us professionally, be nellsun.com. Milian Dollar Baby appears on an enjoyable form of servitude, make alternate Thursdays this semester.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014 7

OPINION

Ruth M. |

I

’ve been described as a “sober drunk;” calm, reasonable and generally able to function, just as I am when actually sober. Although my outside persona does not change that much with intoxication, my sexual tastes become those that my sober self would cringe at. Lately, my drunken sexual obsession has been having a threesome. The only detail I have worked out is that is has to be with a guy and another girl, because one of my friends has already done it with two guys and her only feedback was: “Getting Eiffel-Towered isn’t as fun as you’d think,” (I didn’t really think it would be fun to begin with, so clearly the devil’s three way is not for me). Other than that, I have fluctuated between wanting to do it with strangers, friends or a combination.

This fascination with the ménage à trois initiated innocently enough at the beginning of this past summer as my go-to “never have I ever” statement: “Never have I ever had a threesome.” This one usually sparked a debate about who in the group was lying about having one, what each person preferred and a few sips later me admitting how much I want to have one (cue the awkward, yet hopeful jokes made by guys in the room). After my drunk-

I’m Just Gonna Shake It

Three Is a Crowd en self was comfortable telling a room of acquaintances what I wanted to do, I was ready to tell a guy I was sleeping with.

A typical night with my third-favorite fuck buddy (we’ll call him Doug) started out normally enough: We started to pregame, had sex and then went out, planning on having sex later. Once we were out and he chivalrously drowned me in vodka cranberries, I told him about my fantasy, and once he realized I wasn’t kidding, the game was on. briefly We worked out the logistics: I should approach the girl so we can see if she’s even remotely into girls, and I could pick the girl so that I could make sure she wasn’t prettier than me (and Doug was so overwhelmed with glee at the thought of this sexual adventure that he would settle for anything with a vagina anyway).

We took laps around the bar until I picked out a cute-but-not-too-cute girl.

This is when I realized that I had absolutely no idea how to pick up a girl. I was more

nervous than a pimply 16-year-old asking a girl to prom at her locker. I was more awkward than the guy at camp in seventh grade that tried to hold my hand at the campfire.

What should I say? “Hi I like your face?”

Do I offer to buy her a drink? How do I let her know that I am not, in fact, a lesbian or interested in women, but have this drunken fascination of four boobs and a penis, and said penis was lurking behind me?

Maybe I should just be straightforward and ask her to come home with us, but that sounded just as sketchy as asking a kid to help me find my puppy in the back of my white painter’s van. Ultimately, I backed out. In that moment, I had a little bit of respect for every guy that has ever hit on me; at least they were brave enough to do it. However, I had even more respect for women who are legitimately interested in other women.

How do lesbians find each other without social media or Tinder? I have no idea how to tell if a girl is into other girls just by

In that moment, I had a little bit of respect for every guy that has ever hit on me; at least they were brave enough to do it.

Rocky M. |

looking at her, and it must be terrifying to go after your first girl. Kudos to you, lesbians; I couldn’t even handle flirting with a girl of unknown sexual orientation for one night.

My friend and I went home and had regular one-boy-one-girl sex, but I couldn’t help but think about how different it would be if another girl were there. I could definitely kiss another girl if I was drunk enough, but what else was I expected to do?

I guess I could touch her boobs … I have a tendency to soberly do that to my friends anyway. But the vagina? Although I have utmost respect for my own lady parts, I can’t help but picture a vagina as a slimy dark hole of smelly fear. Conclusively, there are two reasonable solutions to this problem: I get drunk enough to play with someone else’s lady parts, or I move on to another drunken fantasy. In the case of the former, I’ll see you at Dunbars, ladies, and in the case of the latter … stay tuned for another column.

Ruth M. is a senior in the College of Industrial and Labor Relations. She can be reached at ruthm@cornellsun.com. I’m Just Gonna Shake It appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

Guest Room

A Twinning Trio E

veryone thinks having a twin brother is so cool.

Have you ever played tricks on people? Taken each other’s tests? Liked the same girl? These are just some of the questions I get asked all too often. People don’t get that being a twin means having a close companion who understands me well, not some hooligan who goes out of his way with me to play tricks on others or mess with girls.

Well, at least that was the case . . . until last weekend.

My twin brother Nate, my friend Tom and I hopped in the car and drove the five hours to Montreal to visit my best friend Ethan. We arrived late on Friday and immediately headed to the campus bar, a spacious yet lively venue with a large counter in the front. My friend had warned me about their campus drinking game, “God Save the Queen. ” Rules: Drop a coin in peoples’ cups. Make them chug their drinks. I did my best to keep my cup protected as I took down beer after beer. At one point, Nate went up to the bar to get some more beer. As the bartender handed him a pitcher, I saw a girl artfully drop a coin into the pitcher. Nate spilled the entire contents of the pitcher into his mouth. Somebody wants to get my brother drunk. And that’s not the only thing she wants to do. Just as an idea popped in my head, Ethan asked me to step out to grab some fresh air.

“There’s this girl that really wants Nate,” I told him.

“I’m gonna try to enter the picture.” Returning inside, I immediately began flirting with the girl. Naturally, she was just as in to me as she was in to my twin. After getting to know her some — she was a junior named Adile from Turkey — and helping Nate finish yet another pitcher in which Adile had dropped a coin, I felt in the right state of mind to pose the deciding question.

“So, you live around here?”

“Yes, about five minutes,” she said.

“Do you wanna go back to your place?”

She gestured towards Nate, as if she was asking, “Him too?”

“Yeah, him too.”

Moments later, my friend Tom was sporting the widest grin imaginable as Adile, holding my hand, which was holding Nate’s hand, led the three of us out of the bar.

Soon enough, we were congregated in her small bedroom. Before I could even think about how this would work, she and I began making out, leaving Nate to figure out how to get involved. Things started to heat up. Just as I gently laid her on the bed, she quickly turned around to make out with Nate. Shit, I should have seen that coming.

behind, Nate moved around to her front and motioned for a mouth bath. She obeyed. In a moment of sheer joy upon recognition that we have found two holes on the same green, Nate and I held our hands up together in ludicrous triumph.

Later on, Adile was on top of me as we made out. I assumed Nate had taken a break to reenergize, but, all of a sudden, he approached Adile from behind and began doing it à la dog. Now remember, Adile was on top of me, so I began to start shaking back and forth right along with her. I start freaking out and yell “Let me off, let me off!” but Adile doesn’t understand what the problem is. Nate soon realizes, stops, and allows me to slip out from under Adile.

Oh my god, oh my god, I’m done, no more.

The night of debauchery ended as the clock turns 3:30 a.m. The room was sweaty, Trojans adorned the floor, and we lay on the bed catching our breath.

Adile broke the silence, “Sleep over, I’ll make you guys pancakes in the morning.”

I imagined my twin brother and I the next morning, sitting tranquilly at a breakfast table eating pancakes with a girl we had tag-teamed the night before.

“I’m sorry, we’re only here for the weekend, we really should be with our friend. . . . Thanks for having us though.”

Nate and I slipped on our clothes, walked out of her room and out of her apartment, closing the door behind us.

We burst into laughter. Oh man, having a twin is so fucking cool.

Moments later, my friend Tom was sporting the widest grin imaginable as Adile, holding my hand, which was holding Nate’s hand, led the three of us out of the bar.

Nate was the first to enter. Pride filled my bloodstream as I, for the first time in my life, watched my brother do the dirty. Damn he’s not bad. Good thing mine’s bigger.

Then it occurred to me. There’s an extra, albeit smaller hole. I wrapped up my pleasure pump. Adile saw what I was about to do.

“No, I don’t want you to kill me!” she cried out.

Damn. But the light bulb went off again. Seeing Nate get tired, I tapped on his shoulder and yelled, “I’m tagging in!” He followed suit, and we formed a tag team, rotating between arduous work and much-needed rest.

During my third shift, as I’m coming in hard from

Rocky M. graduated from the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.

Responses can be sent to associate-editor@cornellsun.com. Guest Room appears periodically this seemester.

8 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014

DINING GUIDE

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Dining Guide

Your source for good food

Student-Run Farm Provides Fresh Produce for Students

By RACHAEL CUSICK Sun Staff Contributor

W

hen asked to describe some of the sights on C o r n e l l ’s campus, views from steep clock-tower steps and even steeper West Campus hills are often the first images that come to mind. Seldom, though, do students mention the rows of rainbow-stemmed Swiss chard or brightly colored columns of kale. After my recent trip to the kaleidoscope fields of the student-run Dilmun Hill Farm, “breathtaking” campus has come to adopt a humbling new meaning.

What began as a two-acre barnyard has grown into 12 acres of rolling hills, roofed by beds of organically-grown leafy greens and root vegetables.

Since Dilmun Hill opened in 1996, it has provided students with a hands-on approach to education while bridging the ever-expanding gap between individuals and the food that fills their plates. With the hopes of instilling both an appreciation for and awareness of the efforts behind the growth of a single vegetable, the Dilmun community offers students the opportunity to experience fresh food outside the realm of grocery aisles and dining hall salad bars.

From Outdoor Odyssey orientation camp-outs to their deliveries to student living cooperatives, the student managers of Dilmun Hill stress the immense role that students play in the farm’s success.

Whether it’s in the form of volunteering, touring, or simply biting into a sun-warmed tomato, students are encour-

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aged to experience Dilmun Hill for themselves.

One way students can get involved is by participating in one of the farm’s work parties, which are held twice a week.

Regardless of major or level of agricultural experience, students are welcome to venture out to Dilmun Hill to help with tasks such as planting, weeding and harvesting in return for taking home free vegetables at the end of the day.

And beyond the promise of free food, work partiers “get that great farming cathartic release through hands-on experience with the satisfaction that they have helped to grow quality local produce,” according to Dilmun Hill student manager Philip Duvall ’15.

If students aren’t able to take part in work parties but still want to get their hands on local veggies, Dilmun Hill offers students the chance to purchase fresh fruits and vegetables. Each Thursday afternoon in the fall, Dilmun Hill sells “picked-thatmorning” produce at th farmer’s market located on the Ag Quad.

Additionally, for students that don’t have time to stroll around the farmer’s market in between classes, the Dilmun Hill managers send out emails listing the farm’s produce at the start of each week, allowing students to place orders for an easy, on-campus pick up.

Dilmun Hill also provides students an alternative form of grocery shopping by taking part in their farm-share pro-

gram. For $15, the student managers will put together a week’s worth of produce — a brown-paper bundle filled with an array of veggies right out of their garden. Participation in the farm-share can span anywhere from a one week tastetest to an entire fall’s worth of harvest, depending on the student’s preference.

Whether you’re searching for a new view of Cornell or simply a bundle of local veggies for dinner, Dilmun Hill is well worth the journey across campus.

Rachael Cusick can be reached at rcusick@cornellsun.com.

ANYA LAIBANGYANG / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

ANYA LAIBANGYANG / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Dilmun Hill Harvest Salad With Thai Peanut Dressing I ngredients for the Salad:

For the Dressing:

1 bunch of kale, sliced into ribbons 1 bunch of Swiss chard, sliced into ribbons 4 carrots, peeled and shredded ¾ cup cucumbers, sliced thinly ½ cup pumpkin seeds ½ cup raisins 1 lime Sesame oil (can be substituted with olive oil) Honey Salt Directions:

1/4 cup salted peanut butter, creamy or chunky 1 tbsp. soy sauce 3 tbsp. honey Juice of half a lime Very hot water Optional: Sriracha or red pepper flakes

Combine the kale and Swiss chard in large serving bowl. Drizzle with the juice of 1 lime, 2 tsp. salt, 1 ½ tsp. oil and 1 ½ tsp. honey. Massage with hands for about a minute until all ingredients are incorporated and the leaves are slightly softened. Add in the carrots, cucumbers, pumpkin seeds and raisins.

Prepare the peanut sauce by whisking all the ingredients except the water. Then slowly add in hot water, 1 tbsp. at a time, until the dressing becomes pourable. Taste the dressing and add seasonings to your preference.

Toss the salad with the dressing until it is well coated. Serve immediately or store in the fridge for up to 3 days.

A&E

Thursday, August 28, 2014 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | 9

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT (7) Films of Summer: Movies You May Have Missed PHOTO COURTESY OF IFC FILMS

Summer came, and summer went. Now, you’re back in Ithaca, tiring of early morning classes, dreading long lines at Trillium and sitting home alone because we all know there is absolutely nothing to do in Collegetown on a Friday night.

Desperate for some fun? Swing by Cinemapolis or Regal Cinema to catch up on the biggest blockbusters and tiniest independent films that dropped while you were throwing beach parties and chowing down at barbecues. And don’t forget the popcorn!

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE WEINSTEIN COMPANY

BOYHOOD

All the critics tripped over each other trying to praise this film, but that doesn’t make it any less special. Boyhood is extraordinary because it takes the most boring, humdrum minutiae you remember from childhood and makes a resonant, moving portrait out of them. Unless you are Indiana Jones, your life was just about as exciting as that of Mason Jr., and if you are between the ages of 16 and 25, Richard Linklater’s intimate opus is the closest thing you will have to a time capsule of your adolescent years. Watching it is a romantic experience, heightened further if you bring a parent or two along with you, which offers the opportunity to see everyday life in a startling, deeply insightful way.

— Mark DiStefano

SNOWPIERCER

The movie that should have been the blockbuster of the summer was unfortunately relegated to a small simultaneous theatrical and video-on-demand release. Too bad. Snowpiercer, the first English language film from South Korean director Bong Joon-Ho, takes place aboard the Rattling Ark, a train that travels around a frozen, post-apocalyptic world, carrying the only human survivors of said apocalypse. The train is divided into rigid class lines, with the poor living in squalor in the back and the rich living in decadence in the front. A revolution by the back, with the goal of reaching the front car (the engine) is led by none other than Captain America himself, Chris Evans.

The film contains action sequences so thrilling and innovative (and non-reliant on special effects), I sat there saying to myself, “how did they even think of that?” This movie has something on its mind too, with the final act philosophically complicating the film beyond its simple 99-percenter premise. While the movie’s plot is riddled with holes, it doesn’t matter because the viewer just has so much fun. Even my mom thought the gore was awesome.

— Jesse Weissman

THE IMMIGRANT PHOTO COURTESY OF MARVEL FILMS

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

With the obscene amount of money they are currently raking in, Marvel decided to bet big this summer. They dredged up one of their most off-kilter, unknown comic book teams: The Guardians of the Galaxy. But, as they say, you have to bet big to win big. And, oh boy Marvel, did you win big this time.

Guardians of the Galaxy is a Marvel film the likes of which has not graced our cinema screens to date: It is dopey Andy from Parks and Rec as the sexy, cocky Star-Lord, a talking racoon voiced by Bradley Cooper and a walking tree with only three words in his entire vocabulary. I mean — there is a dance off to save the universe. The Guardians manage to meld the perfect blend of humor and heart as well as rib-splitting ‘70s and ‘80s references. Everything about the film hits the nail on the head: Casting, pacing, CGI, you name it. Most importantly, of course, the soundtrack. Incorporated into the film so that the characters are actually listening to the same music you are, Awesome Mix, Vol. 1 hit number one on the Billboard 200. I’m listening to it right now. Duh. The Guardians mix together everything that is still good in blockbuster film, making a movie with brain, heart and soul. Three last words: Dancing. Baby. Groot.

— Marissa Tranquilli

There’s only one movie on this page that you can watch right now on Netflix Instant, and it may also just be the best movie of the year. Anything but a stuffy “costume drama,” The Immigrant is a painfully authentic look at a Polish woman’s trials after arriving penniless in 1920s New York. Played by Oscarwinner Marion Cotillard, Ewa struggles to retain her agency after a brutish yet oddly sympathetic pimp (Joaquin Phoenix) forces her into prostitution. It’s a story that could easily be exploitative or eye-rollingly sappy, but Cotillard and writerdirector James Gray raise the premise to high art by consistently probing Ewa’s conflicted interiority. While far from a feel good movie, The Immigrant illuminates an often disparaged cliché (the working class prostitute) with formal control and overpowering feeling.

— Zachary Zahos PHOTO COURTESY OF A24

PHOTO COURTESY OF 20TH CENTURY FOX

Obvious Child

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

The second in the series of prequels to the classic 1968 movie, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is a suspenseful and intense continuation of the well-crafted story of Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011). Post-apocalypse, a group of humans surviving in the ruins of San Francisco attempt to rebuild, while a group of highly evolved, genetically modified apes (guess whose fault that is?) are building their own civilization in a forest. The nearby presence of each species is unknown to the other until several humans stumble into the apes’ domain and a chain of events is set off that makes war between the two species inevitable. And, surprise, it was not the apes who fired the first shot. The film’s ape characters, including Maurice the wise orangutan, Caesar, the moral leader chimp and Koba, the angry and scarred bonobo seeking revenge, have more personality than the human ones. But despite the film’s focus on the apes, the story raises interesting questions about how exactly we think of human nature and what “progress” really means. One thing is clear — the planet only has room for one dominant species, and considering the series is called “Planet of the Apes,” anticipating the eventual outcome adds to the suspense rather than detracting from it. Overall it’s just a flat-out enjoyable and memorable movie and I’d recommend it to anyone in conjunction with the first.

— Katie O’Brien

The cast list reads sort of like the softball team roster for the Island of Misfit Toys: Saturday Night Live’s discarded Jenny Slate, child-star-turned-Girls-weirdo Gaby Hoffmann and a postMichael Scott cast member of The Office, Jake Lacy. Also David Cross. The premise sounds like a disaster: Upbeat abortion comedy about Valentine’s Day and abortion and Brooklyn twentysomethings and independent bookstores and abortion. But Obvious Child is exactly the kind of disaster that demonstrates true, concerted effort to make something unique and special.

After a one-night stand with a charming prep-star, hipster Brooklyn comedian Donna Stern finds herself pregnant. She remembers a condom ... she just doesn’t remember “what it did, exactly.” Supported by her BFF (Hoffmann), a sleazy comedy club booker (Cross) and her brilliantly-acted neurotic New Jersey parents (Richard Kind and Polly Draper), Stern makes it to her February 14 abortion date with resolve — treating the situation as significant, but not impossible to laugh at, as self-altering, but not life-destroying. The dialogue is quick, laced with humor and delivered best by the stellar supporting cast of upand-coming comedians (please, please watch out for Gabe Liedman). While the plot veered cliché towards the end, it’s still a movie that’s not afraid to be gross (Slate’s opening monologue is about crusty underwear) or unabashedly earnest (normal-faced actors, ugly Brooklyn, Paul Simon and oodles of charisma), setting it apart from any other romantic-comedy you saw this summer.

— Kaitlyn Tiffany

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

A&E

10 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Thursday, August 28, 2014

Taylor Swift

The New Pornographers

“Shake It Off” Big Machine

Brill Bruisers Matador

Anna Brenner If Taylor Swift’s latest bubblegummy single seemed to come out of nowhere, it’s probably because it made its debut on the Billboard Hot 100 and immediately shot up to number 12 on the Adult Pop Songs charts — making it the highest debuting single ever since the Billboard chart’s creation in 1996 (in comparison, Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” started out at merely number 14).

Of course, there are a few possible reasons for this earworm’s quick ascension: Great planning on the part of her management team, sure, but also its seemingly-positive message (“You do you!”) and its sparklingly bright backbeat and hum-inducing hook, all of which are aided by Swift’s universe of connections and her rabid fanbase. Like “Born This Way,” “Shake It Off” features lyrics about doing your own thing, because “the haters gonna hate,” but you can just “shake it off” like T-Swift, since “they don’t see” the real you. Seems like some nice, squeaky-clean, inspirational yearbook quote-material fun, right?

Which is why the creative choices behind the single’s music video seem, at best, ironic, considering the lyrics’ attempt at making people feel empowered to be themselves, and, at worst,

T

Sam Bromer

down-right offensive. Featuring Swift all dolled up in stereotype-affirming costumes (your classic white-girl ballerina, a leather-pantsed, baggy-jacketed, sideways-snapback-wearing break-dancer shouldering a giant boombox and a booty-shaking “ghetto” girl with gold chains, hoop earrings, short jean cut-offs and a leopard-print mid-drift track jacket, to name a few), “Shake It Off,” the video, actually does the opposite of what it seems the song was supposed to do: Rather than encourage viewers’ individuality, all it really shows is Taylor Swift dressed up in the style of various cultural tropes. Sure, one could argue that she’s expressing the idea of “breaking from the mold” through her ridiculous dance moves, but that still doesn’t excuse the blatantly stereotypical (and, honestly, offensive) costuming. Was the video purposefully hurtful? Likely not, although the controversy probably did anything but hurt its VEVO view ticker.

Was it a product of some boneheaded decision-making and a lot of heavily privileged cultural insensitivity? Yes. Anna Brenner is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at abrenner@cornellsun.com.

Sometimes, a lack of context can be a good thing. Many of the reviews for the New Pornographer’s latest LP, Brill Bruisers, have tried to place this album in the schema of the group’s past work, of which there is a whole lot. The consensus seems to be that while much on this album is laudable, it fails to fully live up to the heights the band reached on their 2005 masterwork Twin Cinema, a legendary assembly of power-pop that, apparently, channeled the group’s indie songwriting prowess into a modern classic.

Now, I use apparently because before this album’s release, there was a gaping New Pornographers-shaped hole in my brain. I had heard about this band over and over again — but somehow refused to ever actually listen. So, I must ashamedly admit that when I sat down and heard Brill Bruisers, I was as innocent as a feral child using a flush toilet for the first time. Like this metaphorical feral child, I was not disappointed. And I shat myself. Not really. Anyway, aside from a few well-meaning but ultimately forgettable tracks, the album is a laid-back collection of pop songs that accomplish exactly what pop songs should do: Make you feel like everything is going to be a-

okay.

With drunken-sailor chanting and vocals that will make you say, “Hey, this sort of sounds like the Shins!” the opening title-track feels like a celebration. Cue the press release, where A.C. Newman — whose name sounds like the mascot of an electrical company from the ’40s — describes the album as a “celebration record.” That’s right: after “periods of difficulty” of which I knew nothing about, “nothing is dragging [A.C.] down.” Woo! Some other highlights include the synthesized arpeggios and power chord strumming of “Champions of Red Wine; the new wave-inspired ode to not giving a damn that is “War on the East Coast”; the short-but-sweet “Another Drug Deal of the Heart”; and “Dancehall Domine,” which may well be the catchiest song ever written about dancing — here’s looking at you, every other artist ever.

So go ahead: Listen to Twin Cinema or Modern Romantic, if you haven’t already (you proabably have). Brill Bruisers can hold its own, and have fun doing so.

Sam Bromer is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at sbromer@cornellsun.com.

Sex and Excess: The Cheap Thrills of Jeff Koons

he third floor of the Whitney’s blockbuster exhibition, “Jeff Koons: A Retrospective,” reveals the artist’s “Made in Heaven” series. Here, room after room teems with both sculptural and pictorial depictions of Koons himself in flagrante with his then porn-star-turned-Parliamentmember wife, Ilona Staller. Its explicit erotica, a near banal shock-for-shock-value tactic of many artists, juxtaposes starkly against the neighboring “Easyfun” exhibit of cartoon animal-shaped mirrors. If you’re one of the hoards of New Yorkers who flocked to this landmark final show in Whitney’s Madison Avenue flagship, then you may have wondered: Um, like, what the actual fuck?

Amongst this plentiful penetration, both anal and vaginal, amongst this painstakingly painted ass cheeks liberally adorned with semen, what is, well, the point? Is the juxtaposition of “Made in Heaven” with “Easyfun” about innocence lost and innocence regained? Has Koons, king of the readymade, transformed his wife into his first human readymade? Is Koons suggestively blurring the boundaries between public and private, penis and portraiture, art and pornography?

Though many a straight-faced visitor completes the step-back, furrow-brow, head-nod formula of a seemingly competent art-appraising public, quite few actually walk away from the retrospective with a solid handle of each piece’s significance and Koons only mystifies further.

Of this series, he says, “What I really like about it are the pimples on Ilona’s ass. The confidence to reveal one’s ass like that.”

Riiiight. I, for one, can appreciate a juicy ‘donk like a particularly fine Bordeaux, but if this summer’s most-trafficked art show by this universe’s most profitable living artist has affirmed, it’s that even heavily publicized,

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

cheap-thrills art is still inscrutable. The Whitney’s five-floor expanse of polished chrome bar sets, Michael Jackson porcelains, and fluorescently encased vacuum cleaners is pure and proud kitsch. Altogether, the supersaturated colors, hyper-realistic paintings and multitude of reflective surfaces generate an agreeable queasiness — safe for the breadand-games public to consume quite thoughtlessly. Peek inside “Jeff Koons: A Retrospective” and you’ll find a rich kid’s toy chest from an artist who has essentially become the provider of ultra-exclusive tchotchkes for billionaire decorating opportunities.

And when you’re a super-artist like Koons, you can erect a lavish monument to mass-cultural triviality and it doesn’t have to mean a thing. For the power art clique of Jeff Koons, Damien Hirst and Takashi Murakami, who dominate the art world with their record-smashing sales, no true substance is required of their work. When you become so big and so goddamn rich, you become your own cultural phenomenon. You

Alice Wang Profanity Prayers become Occupy Wall Street or Kim Kardashian; your press begets press. Your persona becomes your most enduring, most arduously crafted artwork, especially for Koons who famously employed image consultants to cultivate his stardom. In this manner, Koons is like his oft-compared Warhol:

A Pop artist who himself is a Pop figure, and that in itself is the story of his fourdecade retrospective.

As Tobias Meyer, worldwide head of contemporary art at Sotheby’s, says: “The desire PHOTO COURTESY OF JEFF KOONS that Koons creates with people is very much about possession. It’s about owning it, ingesting it. It’s proto-sexual. The ability to have the physical proximity to this object.” And proximity is enough. It’s about the dream of a perfect object, the seduction of its high gloss surface, and it’s about the people who can pay for them, too. Such is the case for “Play-Doh,” a 10-foot pile of polychrome aluminum resembling globs of its namesake. This work took twenty years, a team of 130 studio assistants and an inordinate amount of money just to replicate his son Ludwig’s Play-Doh creation, and for what? All that labor, all that expense … for a mound of colored clay?

But is that wrong? For Koons, whose habit of exaggerating his own trappings of fame has only gifted him more fame, his excess effectively breeds more excess. Koons has defined his own bull market for art in which paying a large sum for his work essentially ensures cornering the market on those works. The circle of collectors and dealers who can afford his work is so small and so esoteric that the entire price climate is rigged.

If you pay $58 million for his balloon toy sculpture as, ahem, someone actually did, you may have spent several million too much or too little for this work. Because, however,

essentially no one can afford to spend that kind of money on a piece of art, you’ve thereby set the value of that and of all Koons’s past, present and subsequent work.

And if you’re a one of these billionaire boy collectors, you couldn’t give a damn whether a Koons or Hirst or Murakami hits or misses.

You like your art big and shiny, a large-scale spectacle of ostentatiously displayed wealth, and, most importantly, instantly recognizable. After all, how else will people know you’re better than them if they couldn’t read about your eight-figure purchase in the Wall Street Journal? Likewise, if you’re one of the self-idolating masses who visited the “Retrospective” this summer, what do you care if Koons’s work is radical or regular, meaningful or mundane, when you can take another selfie in the mirrored surface of his balloon dog’s butt and post it to Instagram?

Maybe Koons is like his inflatables, a caricature on the outside and absolutely hollow on the inside, or maybe we all are like his inflatables just a little bit.

Alice Wang is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at awang@cornellsun.com. Profanity Prayers appears alternate Thursdays.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014 11

12 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Bon Ami competitor 5 Start of a classic Christmas poem 9 Terra __ 14 “Star Wars” role 15 “Hell __ no fury ...”

16 Isolated 17 Frigg’s husband 18 First name in suburban humor 19 Group scuffle 20 PITCH 23 Justice Fortas 24 Spleen 25 PITCH 34 Some final exams 35 Immature salamanders 36 One who may signal to a bullpen: Abbr.

37 Hall of Fame golfer Middlecoff who had a DDS degree 38 Oscar de la __ 40 Fictional estate near Atlanta 41 Covert maritime org.

42 Notable Cuban bandleader, familiarly 43 Good __ 44 PITCH 48 Hail to Caesar 49 “__ Mine”: Beatles song 50 PITCH 58 Characteristic 59 Cannes cleric 60 Destroy 61 Nemo’s creator 62 Pinochle combination 63 Setting for “The Quiet Man” 64 Swamp grass 65 Peacock tail spots 66 Anti-aircraft fire DOWN 1 Oodles 2 Self-defense method

3 Related 32 Jibe 47 War zone 4 Small-screen 33 Feature of LBJ correspondents princess speeches 50 Family __ 5 Enforcement org. 38 Fix, as a hem 51 Tough since 1908 39 Count ending 52 Not so tough 6 Rabbit home 40 Chef’s meas.

53 Mind 7 “Don’t throw 42 Zealot 54 Not kosher bouquets __”: 43 Headed for an 55 Word with spin or song lyric isle, maybe wind 8 NBA nickname 45 Very eager 56 Biblical prophet 9 Shooting 46 Like a good 57 Stink equipment alternative 58 Sony products 10 Kitchen gadget 11 Powder in the ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE: nursery 12 Low card 13 Ended a fast 21 Metallica drummer Ulrich 22 Utah’s __ Mountains 25 Drink after a day on the slopes 26 Chimp cousin 27 First Brazilian airline 28 Cambridgeshire cathedral town 29 Supernatural lamp occupants 30 Time and again, to a poet 31 Spender of rials 08/28/14 xwordeditor@aol.com

Sun Sudoku

COMICS AND PUZZLES

Puzzle #1960-1962

Paul, John, Pete, & George CLASSIFIED AD RATES Ads are accepted at The Sun‘s office at 139 W. State Street downtown, by phone or e-mail.

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Fill in the empty cells, one number in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numbers 1-9 exactly once.

Each number in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of the three “directions,” hence the “single numbers” implied by the puzzle’s name.

(Rules from wikipedia.org/wiki /Sudoku)

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014 13

SPORTS

Little League Champions Come Home New York Giants

CHICAGO [AP) — The ballpark gleams, exactly as the home of the Little League World Series national championship team should.

Free of graffiti and absent so much as a kid’s initials carved in the grandstand benches, Jackie Robinson Park is outfitted with a digital scoreboard and mechanical pitching machines.

It sits in a tidy neighborhood of brick one-story homes and manicured lawns on Chicago’s South Side.

While the words “South Side” are often shorthand beyond Chicago for gangs, shootings and poverty, the people who live here see a more nuanced picture.

“These are middle-class families,” said Jamieson Clay, a relative of Joshua Houston, the pitching and hitting hero of the U.S. championship game. “Ninety percent of the boys have both a mother and a father at home with them and the fathers are playing a pretty active role in their sons’ lives.”

The beloved Jackie Robinson West All Stars, Chicago’s first all-black team to claim the national title, autographed T-shirts and posters at the ballpark Wednesday before boarding trolley buses for a parade in their honor. They’re only beginning to realize the impact they’ve had on the city.

“I didn’t know it was going to be like this,” outfielder Darion Radcliff said as he posed for photos. “I feel like a celebrity.”

In the days to come, he and the other players will be held up as models for how to keep vulnerable kids out of trouble.

Radio host Matt McGill said to the crowd at Wednesday’s preparade rally, “Look at those kids. You can be a star without a gun in your holster, without a gun in your waistband.”

And before thousands at Millennium Park downtown, Chicago White Sox executive vice president Ken Williams urged kids to “pick up a ball or a glove or a book, a paint stick, a science project [and] put down the guns.”

Adrian Newell, 59, said at the downtown rally, “You never hear anything positive about little black boys and these [13]

boys did so well, behaved so well, you are just so proud of these kids.”

But some people close to the team chafe at the kids being portrayed as another example of sports rescuing people from dire circumstances.

“This is not some fairy tale about ducking bullets,” said Bill Haley, director of Jackie Robinson West, which his father founded in 1971. “The story is we are the national champions.”

Williams suggested the team might change the perception of Chicago’s youth.

“I had someone pass me by the other day who said, ‘Those boys are so well behaved.’ I said, ‘Yeah, we teach that. The other stuff you see reported, the perception of what’s happening in Chicago? That ain’t us. These young men gave you a glimpse into who we really are.”

The team united Chicago, which remains one of the nation’s most segregated cities. Last weekend’s televised games were the most-watched telecasts in Chicago, with 623,900 viewers Saturday and 810,500 on Sunday — including at Wrigley Field where the Cubs watched during a rain delay and cheered like 12-year-olds themselves.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel organized all-city watch parties.

Fans lined up Tuesday to buy 7,000 team T-shirts at a local sporting goods store and on Wednesday — just as they did in 2013 when the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup — fans lined the streets to cheer.

The young players will even be able to live stereotypical post-sports championship dream: The Rev. Jesse Jackson announced Wednesday that his Rainbow/PUSH Coalition will be flying the boys to Disney World.

The team is built around a core of longtime baseball families, Clay said. Joshua Houston has older brothers who play high school and college baseball. His father is the team’s pitching coach.

Fifteen Year Old BellisTakes On U.S.Open NEW YORK (AP) — American teen CiCi Bellis returns to action at the U.S. Open on Thursday, two days after becoming the youngest player to win a match in the tournament since 1996.

The 15-year-old Californian, ranked 1,208th and playing not only in her first Grand Slam main draw but also her first tour-level event, will try to follow up her surprising victory over 12th-seeded Dominika Cibulkova by beating 48th-ranked Zarina Diyas of Kazakhstan.

After playing in the first round on tiny Court 6 — which does not have TV coverage, normally — Bellis moves up to

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Court 17, which has 2,800 seats and is part of the regularly televised rotation at Flushing Meadows.

“It’s crazy to think that I’m actually here right now with all these other [professional players]. I mean, I never thought I would be practicing or sharing a court with, you know, a player that I watch on TV frequently,” Bellis said after her first-round win.

Bellis earned a wild-card invitation from the U.S. Tennis Association by winning a national title for girls 18 and under; she was the youngest champion at that event since Lindsay Davenport in 1991.

After defeating Cibulkova, this year’s Australian Open runner-up, Bellis was asked whether expectations for her tennis career already were growing.

“No. I mean, I’m just going to keep playing my game and not really think about this last match,” Bellis replied, “and keep going in the tournament, play as well as I can.”

Here are some other things to watch on Day 4 at the U.S. Open: Aside from Bellis, there is a group of young American women in action. And while Bellis got past a seeded player in the first round, they’re taking on highly regarded opponents in the second.

Look to Improve During Preseason

EAST RUTHERFORD (AP) — In any other year, Tom Coughlin wouldn’t be happy playing an extended preseason schedule.

A four-game schedule might be considered too long, and playing in the Hall of Fame contest at the start of the month stretched it to five games. The campaign will wrap up Thursday night against the New England Patriots (2-1) at MetLife Stadium.

However, Coughlin isn’t complaining about an extra game during this training camp. The Giants have missed the postseason the past two years, and there’s been a lot of turnover and changes, highlighted by a newly installed West Coast offense under the guidance of former Packers assistant Ben McAdoo.

“We needed the work,” said Coughlin, whose team went 7-9 last season after an 0-6 start. “We needed to be out here together, too.”

Despite a 4-0 mark, Coughlin isn’t giving his starters a break in meeting the Patriots in the preseason finale for the 10th straight season. Manning and the offense, which has scored two touchdowns in the last three preseason game, are going to get about 18 snaps against the defending AFC East champions.

The Patriots will be looking for their 12th division title in 14 years.

“The only thing that matters is the regular season,” Coughlin said when asked if the Giants’ first undefeated preseason since 2006 would mean anything. “What is important about preseason is improvement, production and feeling like people are in the right spots.

That is the only thing I can attest to.”

Bill Belichick has tended to rest as many starters as possible in the final preseason game and this will be no different.

Jimmy Garoppolo, a second-round draft pick from Eastern Illinois, will make his first start at quarterback. He has pushed Ryan Mallett for the job of backing up Tom Brady.

Garoppolo has gone 24-for-37 for 334 yards, four touchdowns and no interceptions in the first three games.

“I think the experience for Jimmy will be one that will just be good for him, going through the whole process,” Belichick said.

“I’m sure he’ll learn a lot.”

14 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014

Ride into the sunrise every morning with...

SPORTS

Lebron Is Back and Golf Is Still Irrelevant

The Red Sox are in last place and America enjoyed soccer for the first time ever BANTER

Continued from page 16

This Summer In: The World Cup, or: Americans Watched Soccer, by Choice, for Fun

L.A.: The World Cup was absolutely pitiful to watch. Spain was a mess right from the start, the United States had a delusional sense of accomplishment, and Luis Suarez was let off his leash. The ending was predictable.

E.B.: Disagree. So much disagree. I played competitive soccer from the tender age of five through the precociously jaded age of 17.

During my senior year of high school I was the president and co-founder of the “Squad,” a selective group within our varsity team made up of the long-term benchwarmers — but I have never, and I mean never, been able to enjoy watching soccer. And I loved every second of the World Cup. From its vaguely cannibalistic elements to a French loss so characteristically French all that’s missing is a scooter and a beret having a ménage à trois with the Arc de Triomphe, I was hooked.

L.A.: Are you serious? The last World Cup was a much better display of skill and entertainment. All we got this year was controversy off the field and mediocrity on it. Every once in a while we’d have an incredible goal, but that was it. Isolated moments. AND if I have to hear one more person cheer about America

beating Ghana or only losing to Germany by one after Brazil’s embarrassing 7-1 loss, I’m going to lose it. It’s okay to admit it, the United States got lucky on more than one occasion.

E.B.: It was the luck that made it entertaining.

L.A.: There’s that delusional sense of accomplishment, nicely coupled with a more

There’s that delusional sense of accomplishment, nicely coupled with a more than healthy serving of pride. than healthy serving of pride.

leaving him with only the Masters left to complete his set of majors. And, just like spring will turn into summer or Kanye West will give an incoherent interview, golf and its unnecessary savior complex anointed the 25year-old Northern Irishman the new Best Player Everrrrrr. And that’s all from golf.

L.A.: I watched zero golf this summer, as it should be.

This Summer In: Some Other Things That Happened

The Red Sox decided that last place in the division is where all the cool kids sit; the world began to teach Johnny Manziel that maybe he isn’t God’s gift to football; the NFL continues to have some downright hilarious views on domestic violence and assault; New Yorkers added yet another thing to complain about as the Kings practically waltzed by the Rangers; NASCAR existed. In short: Some people won, some people lost and some people fell asleep in front of their TVs and woke up without knowing who won, who lost or what sport they had even been watching in the first place.

Email all concerns, comments and fan letters to Scootz Chiu$ano at sportseditor@cornellsun.com.

The CorneDaily Sun Baltimore Loses to Tampa Bay at Home BALTIMORE (AP) — Drew Smyly allowed two hits over seven innings in his second straight overpowering performance, and the Tampa Bay Rays jumped to an early lead against rookie Kevin Gausman in a 3-1 victory over the Baltimore Orioles on Wednesday night.

Evan Longoria had three hits for the Rays, who won for only the fourth time in 11 games.

Tampa Bay scored all its runs in the first two innings and Smyly

This Summer In: Golf Finds a New Messiah, Until It Finds Another One

E.B.: On a dark, dark, really ridiculously dark, I mean how-were-they-playing-golf-itlooked-like-a-black-cat-had-a-baby-withsome-onyx night, Rory McIlroy neatly tapped in a par to take home the PGA Championship, his third straight victory overall win, second straight major win and

(9-10) made the margin stand.

Smyly gave up a solo homer to Chris Davis in the second inning and a single to Steve Pearce in the seventh. The lefthander struck out six and walked one in his fifth start for the Rays since coming from Detroit in a trade involving David Price.

Brad Boxberger worked the eighth and Jake McGee got three outs to earn his 15th save and complete the two-hitter.

Emily Berman is an assistant sports editor on the Sun. She can be contacted at eberman@cornellsun.com. Lisa Awaitey is a staff writer and columnist. She can be reached at lawaitey@cornellsun.com.

In his previous outing, Smyly blanked Toronto on two hits in his first career complete game.

In 18 career appearances against AL East teams, he's 6-0 with a 1.32 ERA. Baltimore lost at home for only the second time in eight games.

The AL East-leading Orioles have lost four of six, but can capture the four-game series with a victory Thursday night.

Gausman (7-6) labored

through four innings, allowing two earned runs on six hits before being lifted after 80 pitches. The right-hander is 1-3 with a 6.75 ERA in five career outings against the Rays.

Tampa Bay scored twice in the first inning on a run-scoring grounder by Matt Joyce and an RBI single by Wil Myers. The Rays might have had more if Longoria and Joyce didn’t both end up at third base on a single

by James Loney.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 28, 2014 13

SPORTS

FIELD HOCKEY

The Red Looks to Fill in Gaps Left by Seniors

By LISA AWAITEY

move on to the NCAA tournament.”

Two newcomers and one returner are vying for a starting spot in the backfield.

The Cornell Field Hockey team is back Freshman Alexandra Altamirano and and gearing up for another season. Last Samantha McILwrick, along with sophoyear marked the graduation of several key more Luisa Schulte-Bockum each have players, but the Red still hopes for a the skills to stand alongside Siergiej, Stone strong campaign as it pushes for the Ivy and Eggertson.

League title and a spot in the NCAA tourEach player has her edge and would nament. Cornell’s success depends on its finish off a tight defensive line. returning powerhouse upperclassmen and Altamirano is a member of the first-team the new fresh talent joining the team.

All-Southwest Preparatory Conference, Junior Marisa Siergiej, 2013 NFHCA McILwrick a versatile player who was Mideast Region All-American and First- recently named the 2013 U-18 Player of Team All-Ivy, led the Red in goals scored, the Year by Field Hockey British game-winning goals Columbia and and total points last Schulte-Bockum had year and is expected to “Without a doubt, we a breakout spring seabe a constant force always are aiming for the son and is looking for this season. Siergiej more minutes this played every minute Ivy League title. ... We fall. and will continue to have come close.”

A powerful defense be the focal point of will be key for the the team’s defense, Katherine Stone Red after retiring ranking fourth in the two-time first-team conference in goals All-Ivy goalkeeper allowed.

Carolyn Homer ’14 last year. Looking to “For the team to be successful this year, narrow this gap on the field are junior we must have communication throughout Elizabeth Schaeffler and freshman Kelly the field,” Siergiej said. “With the Johnson. Both women are more than strength of the returners and the talent of capable of filling the position. the incoming freshmen, we hope to win The midfield this season looks especialthe Ivy League this season.” ly strong, as team captain and junior Joining Siergiej in the back are return- Taylor Standiford and assistant captain ers, senior Katherine Stone and junior and senior Ann DiPastina return for the Stephanie Eggertson. Both Stone and 2014 season. Standiford, an offensive Eggertson saw significant minutes last sea- midfielder, led the Ivy League with nine son, and will contribute greatly to the Red assists last season, ranking her No. 4 in defense through experience and drive.

Cornell single-season history. DiPastina “Without a doubt, we always are aim- brings strength in a different form, as she ing for the Ivy League title,” Stone said. is more focused on the defensive end of “We have come close during my past three the game, but is also capable of igniting years and it would be so special to be able the offense. to finally achieve that my senior year and “This season is about holding ourselves Sun Staff Writer

to a high standard so that we can threaten every opponent,” DiPastina said. “If we are going to be at the top of the league then we need to consider each game to be as important as the next.”

Sophomore Elizabeth Horak and newvcomer freshman Gabby DePetro are both looking for significant playing time this season in the midfield.

In the front as forwards are secondteam All-Ivy sophomore Katy Weeks, junior Katie Garrity and sophomore Georgia Lord. Weeks completed last season earning a No. 4 ranking in Cornell history for 20 points scored during her rookie season.

The returning skill and fresh talent are proof that the Red has a real chance at success this year. With holes to fill in the field, the team feels prepared and confi-

dent in its young talent to step up to the plate.

“If we focus on each practice and each game one at a time and continue to both mentally and physically apply ourselves throughout the season we will be successful as a team,” Standiford said.

But the team’s ultimate goal is clear and unanimous. “[We want] to win the Ivy League title and advance to the NCAA tournament,” McILwrick said.

The season begins next Friday, Sept. 5 as the Red travels to Hamilton to face Colgate. The team will then return home that Sunday for a match against Albany on Marsha Dodson Field.

Lisa Awaitey can be reached at lawaitey@cornellsun.com.

MONIQUE HALL / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Dreaming big | Cornell’s field hockey team looks forward to the upcoming season and hopes to have the underclassmen step up to fill the spots of graduated seniors on the field.

U.S.Open Is Really Anyone’s Game Now Kellner Helps ZAKOUR

Continued from page 16

Djokovic is fresh off beating Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final after five dramatic and amazing sets, but his current form is a bit of an enigma. He was upset in the early rounds in both tournaments leading up to the Open, which might be a result of being preoccupied with parenthood, as he is expecting his first baby soon. Djokovic probably has the odds in his favor but has a brutal draw and could easily be upended by either Andy Murray or Tsonga in the quarters.

Roger Federer: Federer doubles as the most beloved and is the brand name in tennis. The Swiss maestro, now the ripe age of 33, is enjoying a resurgent season. He recently switched to a new racket, but still features the aesthetic brand of tennis that won him a record 17 major titles. His forehand is maybe the greatest, versatile, and most beautiful weapon in the history of the sport. His backhand, while still a good shot, is often picked on by the top players in the world. Federer’s slice backhand, a staple of his game, plays well on hard courts here.

His hyper-aggressive attacking game, looking to move forward towards the net any chance he gets, is aided by New York’s courts. Federer is playing the best tennis of anyone in the world on hard court and remains my pick to take the title.

Andy Murray: The volatile Scotsman has been more down than up this season.

Murray just has not been playing the same recently, evidenced by his drop down to nine in the world rankings. He is one of four players in the mix who has won the title before and is trying to salvage his season since he has been routed in the last two majors, losing to Rafael Nadal and Grigor

Dimitrov. Neither match resembled Murray at his best.

His hard court season has been a mixed bag despite good recent form, losing to eventual champions Tsonga and Federer.

Murray could be finally getting healthy, and if so his troubles boil down to his head.

Decision making and consistency are always problems for maybe the best defensive player on tour, but if Murray can keep his wits about him, he is has a good chance of making a run in New York and possibly of making it to another final.

Grigor Dimitrov: Grigor’s first claim to fame was earning the nickname "Baby Fed" for his uncanny resemblance to Federer’s game. His backhand, forehand, and serve all could win Federer look alike competitions, but Grigor has a style all his own. He is not

Federer is playing the best tennis of anyone in the world. the graceful mover who floats above the court, but a more athletic and dogged returner, with a dramatic flair.

Unlike Federer, Grigor likes to absolutely rip his backhand and actually plays a somewhat different, if not totally dissimilar, brand of tennis. He is coming off his first major semifinal at Wimbledon and leads the charge of the young guns on the old guard’s throne. His game translates to all surfaces, but he has struggled mightily in Flushing historically. He would do well to reach Federer in the quarters and give him a scare.

Milos Raonic: This Canadian features

the biggest and most daunting serve in the world, firing missiles off his outstretched racket. If the hype is to be believed, Milos is the next big thing in tennis. But I’m not so convinced, at least not yet. Raonic has a few big results, including his Wimbledon semifinal, but is 0-14 against the big three and has yet to play a match that shows that he can compete with them. He has been routed by Federer twice this year, failed to take a set off Djokovic in Paris, and was embarrassed by Nadal in the Montreal final. He had a lot of success against Murray, for what it’s worth, although Murray cruised by him when they met in New York. Raonic is still young and improving, but I doubt he has the all around game to win a major title.

Stan Wawrinka: The other Swiss player finally emerged from his compatriots’ shadow by winning his maiden slam at this year’s Australian Open. Wawrinka is not as well rounded on the court as Federer or Djokovic, but is definitely as good when it comes to just crushing a tennis ball and making shots. He is up and down, but is actually 4-1 against the top three players in the world this year. If his current season is any indication and Wawrinka manages to avoid upset and get to Djokovic and Federer, he is probably winning it all.

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga: The Frenchmen has a huge game, but is as mercurial as they come. He won the Toronto Masters in such emphatic fashion, beating Djokovic, Murray, and Federer along the way, that he forced himself on this list. It would take a similar Herculean effort for him to win the title this fortnight, but if anyone is capable of a run, it’s Tsonga.

John Zakour writes a weekly column, Point Blank, which comes out every Thursday. He can be reached at jzakour@cornellsun.

Inspire Team With Passion And Support CROSS COUNTRY Continued from page 16

“She genuinely loves running and training and I think that that enthusiasm is infectious,” he said. “One of the things that’s really fun about working with her is the joy that she brings to that hard work and to competing and to the team. [It’s] very inspiring for her teammates and for her coaches.”

Kellner said she is looking to challenge herself to set some new records this season and remember to enjoy running.

“On an individual basis, my goal would be to set some new personal best times and continue to have fun,” she said.

Overall, Kellner will continue to bring her positive attitude to the Red and is looking forward to what will hopefully be another strong season both for her and the team.

Kellner’s philosophy is to “come to practice every day with a smile on your face. If you’re happy to be there then you’ll automatically work hard and motivate those around you,” she said.

Ariel Cooper can be reached at acooper@cornellsun.com.

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Sports

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28, 2014

16

CROSS COUNTRY

Keep Your Eye on Captain Kellner

By ARIEL COOPER

been one of Caroline’s role models and it was a really neat experience for them to be on the team together,” Smith said.

--------She ran into fifth place at her first tri-meet and Although Kellner looks up to her older sister, she has narrowly missed a spot on the All-Ivy Second Team after worked hard to forge her own path of success during her a 15th place finish at her first Heps. She was named Most time on the Red. Valuable Freshman and chosen to represent Team USA at “Having my sister on the team was really fun. She’s defthe Bupa Great Edinburgh Cross Country Challenge in initely a big role model to me … but at the same time I’m Edinburgh, Scotland. As a sophomore, she made it to the not exactly her,” Kellner said.

NCAA Nationals. She can run a mile in less than five Smith agreed that while Katie has been a positive influminutes. But this runner, junior tri-capence on Caroline, it is important for tain Caroline Kellner, still has two seaCaroline to have her own identity on “Caroline has really sons left with the Red. With all that she the team. has accomplished so far, one can only “I think Caroline has really carved carved her own niche imagine where Kellner will go next. her own niche here on the team on her Women’s cross country coach Artie here on the team on her own terms, and that’s really important Smith said Kellner’s passion has played a in her having the success that she’s had own terms.” big part in her success on the track. and she’s headed towards having,” he Coach Artie Smith “One of the things that Caroline has said. “[It’s important] that she try to going for her … is that she is deeply pasbe the best that Caroline can be [and] sionate about running and very passionnot simply [follow] in the footsteps of ate about this team,” he said. her sister, as good as those footsteps may have been.”

According to Smith, it is this drive and passion that As a leader on the team, Kellner hopes to motivate the propelled Kellner into the captain position this season. rest of her teammates to build on their successes from last “It’s unusual on our team to have a junior elected cap- season. tain,” he said. “So I think that passion for running and for “I think our team has a lot of potential and I hope that the team was noted by her teammates given that she was us captains can work together to really motivate everyone elected into that leadership role as only a junior.” and make them excited for the season ahead,” she said.

Kellner is not the only member of her family to have Kellner’s energy and love for the sport is something made her mark as a runner for the Red. Her older sister, that is both obvious and inspiring for her fellow runners .

Katie Kellner ’14, was an accomplished cross country run- Her passion spreads to the rest of the team during pracner, her career culminating in a 36th place finish at the tice.

NCAA Championships which earned her the All“She genuinely loves running and training and I think American title.

“I don’t think there’s any question that Katie has always See CROSS COUNTRY page 15

Sun Staff Writer

COURTESY OF CAROLINE KELLNER

Running love | Junior tri-captain Caroline Kellner looks forward to leading her team and running for the Red again.

Everything You Missed in the Wonderful U.S.Open World of Sports This Summer and More Favorites W I

elcome to the first Around the Gorge of the semester.

They called, so we answered ... not that we were desperately waiting by the phone or anything. This issue, we’ll be discussing a very, very small selection of all the mildly sporty things that happened this summer.

Players were traded; hopes were dashed; butts were plopped in front of

graduates everywhere, LeBron James fairly skipped out of his hometown, had four of what might be the greatest years of his life and then returned home to the place it seemed he had only just escaped. In this case, though, LeBron returned by choice, not by the money-saving convenience of living with your parents as you navigate a quarter-life crisis in which you decide

Lisa Awaitey

Emily Berman Around the Gorge: Sun Sports Banter TVs to watch other people run around in the sun. We even know specific things that happened to specific people: Jeter’s final season is less “home run” and more “foul ball that hit a child in the face;” Spain fell slightly short of expectations on soccer’s biggest stage; Novak Djokovic and Roger Federer played a very, very, very long tennis match somewhere in England.

E.B.: I’m Emily Berman, or so my birth certificate tells me.

L.A.: And I’m Lisa Awaitey, an aspiring Beyoncé impersonator.

This Summer In: Basketball Too Hot for the Heat

E.B.: In a move familiar to recent

that maybe being an improv teacher is what you were really meant to be (to hell with that pre-med chemistry degree).

L.A.: I was team LeBron for about four to five minutes during the summer and then we found out Kevin Love would also be making his way to Cleveland … Why anyone would WANT to be in Cleveland for any portion of time is a mystery to me, but whatever. A lot of sports analysts saw this move coming for LeBron, it was just a matter of when he would be finally returning, forcing Cleveland fans to sew back together their burnt jerseys and throw away their LeBron voodoo dolls. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

E.B.: At least Cleveland fans seem to be willing to accept LeBron with open arms ... and championship ringless hands. After The Decision, which was the P.R. equivalent of pointing an Uzi at your own face, pulling the trigger and thinking you’d look prettier with the bullet holes, it is nice to see the calm way both cities have accepted this quieter transition. Possibly because Miami continues to be too distracted or drunk to truly care--if Canadians turned a city upside down over a Stanley Cup Finals loss, you’d think an NBA Finals loss plus the loss of James would cause steroid-utopia Miami to at least knock over a few dumpsters or something.

L.A.: This has been an all-around struggle-filled year for the Heat. I mean, they made it to the finals, only to be crushed by the Spurs and the demigod that is Kawhi Leonard. They lost the best player in basketball as a free agent and Dwyane Wade looks about as athletic as the freshmen during their inaugural walk up the slope after their first Saturday night in collegetown. Steps on soap box. But this proves what’s wrong with basketball coverage in the media. Why is everyone talking about the Heat and Cavs instead of pointing out the flawless basketball played during the NBA finals by the Spurs?

See BANTER page 14

t is late August, so that means that the the U.S. Open, tennis’ only domestic major tournament, is gearing up. If you are like many casual fans, it might be hard to appreciate the guys who aren't named Federer or Nadal. So I have put together a guide to the men’s side in order to help all of us and maximize enjoyment.

The U.S. Open is played on relatively fast

John Zakour Point Blank and slick blue hard courts. The Flushing, New York campus notably features the biggest venue in tennis, Arthur Ashe stadium court, with a holding capacity of over 22,000.

This year, it’s Federer, Djokovic, and then everyone else. It’s two men versus the field, and if not for Nadal’s injury, it would be the top three against the field.

Novak Djokovic: The number one player in the world has been around the championship for a while, making his way into the last four Open finals, but only winning one (in 2011). Djokovic relies on his world class retrieving skills, revamped serve, weaponized serve return, and maybe the best two handed backhand in the world.

See ZAKOUR page 15