B'nei Mitzvah Parent Information Booklet

OVERVIEW

Dear Parents,

Enclosed is important information regarding the options for your child’s 2026 B'Nei Mitzvah. In order to accommodate the greatest number of children and families, please return your form by Friday, March 3, 2023.

Thank you!

Cantor Caplan

THE GOAL

To have only one B'Nei Mitzvah family at each service. No "doubling up".

THE ISSUE

We have over 36 children who will celebrate their B'Nei Mitzvah in 2026.

THE SOLUTION

We provide many possible choices, with different types of services depending on the kind of service your family prefers

After we find out what kind of service you are interested in, we assign you a service as close as we can to your child's Hebrew birthday, unless you request something else. If you want a Shabbat morning or Shabbat dinnertime date that is not near your child's Hebrew birthday, we'll see if there's one available after all the kids have been assigned near their own birthday.

There will often be at least two children assigned to each Shabbat, but all will be at different services. We do not have kids from the same school district and grade celebrate on the same Shabbat, and we do not initially assign out vacation weekends or Passover unless you ask for it

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SERVICES

LENGTH AND DIFFICULTY

The Saturday morning service is traditional, over three hours long, almost all in Hebrew, and is often harder for children to learn Other services are about one hour long, and more "flexible" -- we can make them more or less challenging, depending on the ability and motivation of both the student and the family

SHABBAT RESTRICTIONS

Please remember that no live or recorded music is allowed in the Synagogue building on Shabbat, and no photography/video. Photos and video are permitted at all other times.

SHUL REGULARS

On Saturday morning (and possibly Friday night), other members of our Congregation will be present along with your guests At other times, only your guests will be present

B'NEI MITZVAH FEE

There is a $1,000 per child Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee; $500 is due when a date is confirmed and the balance of the fee will be billed to you in the year prior to your service

SECURITY/MAINTENANCE/KIDDUSH

B’nai Mitzvah families who select a service other than a Saturday morning will receive an additional charge of $500 (due no later than one year prior to your date). This charge will help us to cover the growing security and building maintenance costs associated with these services.

In addition, families will be recognized as Kiddush Contributors for the Shabbat morning of their B'Nei Mitzvah weekend and will be listed in the Shabbat Shalom. At the same time, families celebrating on Saturday mornings generally help pay towards the congregational Kiddush afterward There are several different ways to do this To learn more about all Kiddush options, please contact Jill Bristow at jbristow@agudath.org

SERVICE DETAILS

How long is the service?

Friday Night

Saturday Morning

1 hour

How much time is my child "spotlighted"?

How much Hebrew/English in the service?

How difficult is it to learn?

Which part of the Bible will my child chant?

Some English Flexible

Saturday Sunset or Saturday Afternoon 1 hour

(45 minutes if afternoon only)

Sunday (when Torah is not read) or Saturday night (Nov.-Dec.)

Su/M/Th, when Torah is read

Who will be there?

Can there be band/photos in the synagogue after the service?

WWW.AGUDATH.ORG

Torah Reading from Torah at another minyan, then at your service as part of Speech

Your guests and maybe Cong. of 25+

No, it's still Shabbat

3 hours plus Haftarah (Prophets), and possibly part of Torah Reading Your guests and Cong of 150+ Yes

45 minutes

SAME FOR ALL SERVICE (usually

45 minutes)

Some English

Some English

Between 45 and 70 minutes, depending on specific date

Flexible, but generally somewhat harder

Flexible

Torah Reading

Torah Reading from Torah at another minyan, then at your service as part of Speech

Your guests

Your guests

Some English

Flexible

Torah Reading

Your guests

No, it's still Shabbat

Yes, and during the service as well

Yes, and during the service as well

Yes

Yes

4

CONSIDER THESE OPTIONS

Most families at CAI celebrate a B'Nei Mitzvah with a service either on Saturday morning, Saturday around dinnertime, or Sunday when there’s a Torah Reading. If you choose something other than these, you almost always get a first choice. You tell us what dates you like; we're not as tied to the Hebrew birthday.

These services are all about 45 -60 minutes long. Your child leads most of the service, and the congregation will generally be your guests only. (As compared to Shabbat morning, when you will have your guests plus at least 150 other congregation members.) Exceptions are noted below. See chart on the next page.

FRIDAY NIGHT SERVICE

Many dates are available. We don’t read from the Torah at this service, but your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (Speech). The service is one hour, with your guests only (or plus possibly 25 cong. members if you want), and Shabbat restrictions apply in the synagogue.

SHABBAT AFTERNOON SERVICE, NOT AT DINNERTIME

We have held many Shabbat Mincha B'Nei Mitzvah services as early as 2:30 pm and as late as 7:45 pm, depending on the time of year The service is 45 minutes, your guests only, Torah is read, and Shabbat restrictions apply in the synagogue Assumes reception will be out of the synagogue

SATURDAY NIGHT, AFTER SHABBAT ENDS, IN NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

We don’t read from the Torah at this service, but the timing works well for some families in November and December, when sunset time makes the “regular” Mincha/ Maariv/ Havdala Service be “early” -- that is, that service would last from 4:15-5:15 p.m. When that happens, we can hold a later Maariv/ Havdala Service after Shabbat is over, around dinnertime (say 6:00-6:45p.m). The service lasts about 45 minutes, with your guests only, and no Shabbat restrictions: Photos, video, and instrumental music are fine. Your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech).

SUNDAY MORNING WHEN THE TORAH IS NOT READ

The advantage is that there are lots of possible dates. The service runs from 10:30-11:20 a.m., with your guests only, and no Shabbat restrictions: Photos, video, and instrumental music are fine. Your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech).

SUMMERTIME, VACATION TIME, OR PASSOVER

All of these work as well

HOW CAN YOU DO A B'NEI MITZVAH WHEN

THE TORAH ISN'T READ?

The logic is the same as for a Friday night Bat Mitzvah, which girls have been doing for decades. A child reaches the Jewish legal status of B'Nei Mitzvah, of age to do more mitzvahs, at their birthday, even if they never set foot in a synagogue. So why the ceremony? We're celebrating that our child is of age to do more mitzvahs, because we think doing mitzvahs is great! And our children are showing that they are worthy of this privilege and responsibility by leading part of a worship service That "celebrationof-mitzvah-worthiness" is at the core of any service your child might help lead -whether Friday night, Saturday, Sunday or weekday.

IF THE TORAH ISN'T READ, WOULD MY CHILD HAVE AN ALIYA AT SOME OTHER TIME?

Yes. Usually near the ceremony, and usually with immediate family.

SUNDAYS AND WEEKDAYS WHEN THE TORAH IS READ

Ifthiskindofserviceisn’twhatyouwant,skipthispage.Butifitiswhatyouwant, pleasereadthis!

Remember,youcanhaveaB'NeiMitzvahceremonyonanySundayorweekday morning,evenifyoudon'treadfromtheTorah ButwhendowereadfromtheTorah, besidesShabbat?TheTorahisreadeveryMondayandThursdaymorning,andona fewSundaysduringtheyear.

Inpastyears,manyfamilieshaveaskedforthosefewSundays Weassignthesedates towhomeverhastheclosestHebrewbirthday.(AndbyJewishlaw,boyscannotusea datethatisbeforetheir13thHebrewbirthday,butgirlscan.)

TWOmorningservicescanbeheldoneachofthesedays-9:00am and10:30am (If youcancommitnowtousingthesynagoguebuildingforyourreception,youget preferenceindeterminingthetimeoftheservice).

SUNDAYS AND WEEKDAYS IN 2026 WHEN THE TORAH IS READ

JANUARY 19, 2026

FEBRUARY 16, 2026

APRIL 5, 2026

MAY 17, 2026

MAY 25, 2026

SEPTEMBER 7, 2026

SEPTEMBER 27, 2026

OCTOBER 11, 2026

NOVEMBER 26, 2026

DECEMBER 6, 2026

MONDAY

MONDAY

SUNDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY

MONDAY

SUNDAY

SUNDAY

THURSDAY

SUNDAY

MLK DAY

PRESIDENTS DAY

PASSOVER

ROSH HODESH SIVAN

MEMORIAL DAY

LABOR DAY

2ND DAY SUKKOT (3 HOUR SERVICE)

ROSH HODESH CHESHVAN

THANKSGIVING DAY

HANUKKAH

B'NEI MITZVAH SERVICE IN ISRAEL?

We can work with your child no matter where your ceremony is held Some families have done a ceremony in Israel only, and some have done one there and one here

DOES EVERY FAMILY MAKE A "BIG" CELEBRATION?

No, not at all Families in our congregation celebrate a child's B'Nei Mitzvah in all kinds of ways, and since the pandemic, families have become even more creative! We personally have seen all the following (in no particular order):

Reception of Perfection right here at CAI

Coffee, cake and shmoozing after the service - nothing more Kiddush in synagogue

Teen Lounge, Mobile Game Parties, Laser Tag events, or Pool Party to follow Party in catering hall, country club, or event space of your choice Family celebrates with trip to Israel

Everyone comes to house after services for food and schmoozing or backyard gathering

This is by no means an exhaustive list The point is that you don't have to celebrate in any one prescribed way There are many options, and members of our community have done them all

WE HAVE RELATIVES WHO DON’T DRIVE ON SHABBAT. IS THERE A HOTEL WHERE THEY CAN STAY?

There’s not a hotel within walking distance of the synagogue, but as a congregation, we take seriously the mitzvah of Hachnasat Or’chim, Welcoming Guests To that end, about 25 families who live fairly near the synagogue – including the Caplans - have already committed to host Shabbat guests for a celebration such as yours We are happy to help arrange this

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO FILL OUT THE FORM

The process takes several weeks and then we will get back to you to confirm the date. Please ask us any questions! We are here to help you with this! Please direct all of your B'Nei estions to bm ath.org

WAYS TO COMMEMORATE THE B'NEI MITZVAH

THE TREE OF LIFE - םייח ץע

Share the joy by inscribing your family simcha on our Tree of Life.

A permanent dedication in honor of the B'nei Mitzvah child will be remembered forever in our sacred hallways. Celebrate Brit Milah, Simchat Bat, B'nei Mitzvah, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, or other simcha occasions.

A Leaf, Apple, Dove, or Foundation Stone may be inscribed to mark or commemorate the joyous events in the your family. Honor parents, children, family, or friends. Leaves may be inscribed in someone's name or in honor of a special event.

Please click HERE to order your inscription on the Tree of Life.

DONATIONS TO DISCRETIONARY FUNDS:

You may choose to make a donation to the Discretionary Funds of CAI's Clergy. Each Clergy member has his/her own Discretionary Fund that is a synagogue fund that the Clergy use in order to support communal needs by offering assistance to individuals, organizations consistent with CAI’s tax exempt status, and for educational purposes.

If you would like guidance on a suggested amount of the donation to Discretionary Funds of Rabbi Lucas, Rabbi Blumenthal, Cantor Caplan, or Susan Werk in honor of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please email bmitzvah@agudath.org.

KIDDUSH SPONSORSHIP:

Sponsoring the Kiddush is a wonderful opportunity to honor and share the simcha with the CAI community.

Kiddush Sponsor Kiddush Supporter Kiddush Contributor Kiddush Friend

To learn more about all Kiddush options, please contact Jill Bristow at jbristow@agudathorg

LEAF APPLE DOVE FOUNDATION STONE $1800 $500 - $1799 $108- $499 $18 minimum 8

Savethedate Savethedate Savethedate

Meetpartyplanners,DJs,photographers, videographers,caterers,florists,andother vendorstohelpplanyour

RECORDING

We have partnered with Quantum Cat Media

We have partnered with Quantum Cat Media for our event livestreaming and recording for our event livestreaming and recording services and are happy to offer the services and are happy to offer the following options to our B'nei Mitzvah following options to our B'nei Mitzvah ffamilies.* amilies.*

FREE Split screen livestreaming and recording (Regular Saturday morning service set up)

$150 Isolated recording from one camera view

$200 Isolated recording from two camera views

$850 Live camera operation plus isolated recording with two camera views (Only for non-Shabbat services)

Additional post-production editing available upon request.

*Only available for services held in CAI's Sanctuary

To make arrangements for your livestream and video recording needs, please email

bmitzvah@agudath.org