Episode 4. The Frankly. Podcast Mixtape

UNPACKING THE MISEDUCATION OF CONSENT Understanding our bodily autonomy and consent starts with our family Frankly. is a podcast that explores the health and wellbeing of adolescents from the perspectives and lived experiences of young people on Chicago’s South and West sides. Co-produced by Chicago youth Kaya Thomas and Alizha Vernon and Ci3 at the University of Chicago, Frankly. is a seven-episode series that builds on the findings from Ci3’s Adolescent X study, a research project that uses narrative-based research methods to explore the messages that young people receive about their bodies, identities, and sexual health. Frankly. centers the voices of young people marginalized by race, gender, and/or sexual orientation as they navigate various social environments, develop their identities, and understand the world around them. Frankly. aims to contextualize the stories of young people by examining the ways in which structural barriers and institutions impede on their health and wellbeing.

The Frankly. Podcast Mixtape is a discussion guide that accompanies the podcast. It is a compilation of links to articles, archival and audio-visual materials, films and documentaries, research institutions, related Adolescent X research findings, and resources that provide more insights into the topics explored in each episode. It will also highlight Chicago-based community spaces that uplift the brilliance and diversity of Chicago’s South and West Side neighborhoods.

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Episode Summary In this episode, we explore the mixed messages that young people receive from family about consent and bodily autonomy. Whether we are aware of it, the implicit and explicit messages we learn as children don’t go away.

According to Scarleteen, consent is “to agree to do something or give permission. In the context of sex, a prson is giving full consent/is consenting when they freely and actively agree to do something sexual with someone else; however, the person still has the right to change their mind at any point.” And, bodily autonomy is defined as, “the right for a person to govern what happens to their body without external influence.

Bodily autonomy and consent are inseparable. When a person feels like they are in control of and have autonomy over their body, they tend to act in ways that align with their needs and desires. But, when that power is taken away, it impacts how people make decisions related to their bodies. In this episode, we discuss consent in both sexual and non-sexual contexts to highlight the impact of mixed messaging around consent within various settings.

Kaya shares her experience with being touched by family members without her permission. This behavior is normalized and, although this may seem harmless to others, this experience caused Kaya deep discomfort. Alongside her story, we hear from Dr. Darnell Motley, clinical psychologist and researcher, at the University of Chicago, who said it is important for adults to teach consent and bodily autonomy as children.

“I recognize where it comes from, it's traditions and histories. And respect your elders, great. However, this is my body. And if you're teaching me at four, or five, six years old, that I don't control it, those [messages] don't go away. Those don't leave me when I become older. So either I learned that I should violate boundaries, or that if mine are violated that it's normative. Neither is ideal.”

-- Dr. Darnell Motley Media like TV shows, social media, pornography, and films are some of the most accessible forms of information in our digital age. So, the media plays a large role in how we shift social behaviors, narratives, and common sense about complex issues. We highlight a scene from Hulu’s TV show, Normal People, that focuses on the complex relationship between Marianne and Connell during their adolescence and early adulthood. While this show deals with a variety of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics, the scene referenced in the podcast demonstrates the process of consent in a balanced way.

Connell communicates that consent can be given and taken away at any point.

And “it won’t be awkward.” This moment emphasizes that the responsibility is on both parties to communicate consent. It also illustrates the care, trust, and communication that is necessary to create intimacy and pleasure between two people. Consent requires that we respect each other’s boundaries and desires, whether it is in platonic or romantic relationships.

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FINDINGS ABOUT CONSENT FROM THE ADOLESCENT X STUDY In CI3's Adolescent X study, which was conducted from 2018 through 2019, youth from Chicago’s South and West Sides said they received mixed messages from parents and friends about consent. These messages can be traced back to family traditions that don’t recognize the bodily autonomy that children and young people have.

Adolescent X participants generally did not describe strong, clear messages about consent from the media, school, or parents. A few participants described their sources of education on consent by providing examples of media and pop culture. While some depictions covered consent constructively, more often media covered incidents of sexual assault without incorporating education about consent in their coverage. In particular, participants brought up recent accusations and convictions of celebrities as the most common topics of conversation relating to consent. Young people also highlighted a double standard: issues of bodily autonomy, independence, and privacy were described as more relevant to women or “females” than to men, indicating that boys do not encounter as many issues with consent.

Girls were described as being responsible for keeping themselves safe. While boys/men were framed as those who test boundaries, girls/females hold the responsibility to set and maintain them. Most of the participants, however, depicted consent as somewhat intuitive or self-explanatory.

Given the contradictory information young people face, it is not surprising that there are differing perspectives on the role of consent in relationships. One participant, for example, asserted that in committed long-term relationships, higher levels of trust might lower the threshold of consent, eventually agreeing, however, that partners in these relationships still need to respect a lack of consent. This discussion highlighted that participants disagreed on the characterization of pressure in a relationship and whether that qualified as consent. This pressure can come in multiple forms, including “encouragement” and repeated asking. What some participants viewed as signs of trust in a relationship, others viewed as violations of boundaries.

Put simply, young people are navigating a cacophony of different messages regarding consent. Some of these messages are precise and informative, some are biased, and others they encounter are completely inaccurate and potentially harmful. Despite this exceedingly complex environment, young people try hard to understand debates in the public sphere regarding consent. They actively engage and try to make sense of them. In an environment full of mixed messaging this task is very difficult. Understanding can be incomplete without assistance and support from trusted adults.

In Ci3’s Youth Advisory Council, young people can share their thoughts and experiences to further inform our research around topics like the miseducation of consent, bodily autonomy and independence.

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CONVERSATION STARTERS Conversation Starters are prompts that aim to encourage deeper reflection about the topics discussed in each episode. These prompts help readers get the ball rolling on contextualizing the stories from young people and insights from adult experts regarding consent. Readers can reflect alone or share them with family, friends, or classmates! ● ● ● ● ● ●

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What stories stuck out to you from the episode? Why? How have you learned about relationships, particularly, what defines relationships?

What did you learn about how to have healthy relationships?

How do you talk about consent within your relationships? With young people in your life? With partners? With your parents? With your friends?

Over your lifetime, what messages have you received about the role of your body in relationships?

Consent comes up in many conversations around sex and romantic relationships, but those settings aren’t the only place we can think about or practice consent. In what other areas of your life do you notice consent being an important topic? (Examples: emotional needs; asking someone if now is a good time to talk about something disturbing on the news or in your personal life; respecting people’s time away from work or with their families.)

Consent can often be thought of as a boundary, but our episode offers us another layer to consent.

Consent is not just a hard boundary set once (though it can be).In many healthy relationships it is a repeated collaboration. When you think of it that way, what are ways you would want others to collaborate with you about your wants and needs? What would you collaborate with them in return?

Questions that started our own conversations To give readers a sense of how the Frankly. team framed this episode, here are the questions that prompted us into deeper reflection on consent, coercion, and bodily autonomy. We were able to construct a narrative arc in this episode with these driving questions. ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖

What is the definition of consent, and what are the types of consent?

What is the definition of coercion, what are the different types of coercion?

Why is consent such a huge problem in our society? How are we handling it?

What is the disconnect between the explicit and implicit messages young people receive about bodily autonomy and consent and what they experience? ❖ How are folks reinforcing healthy examples of consent for young people?

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RESOURCES + LINKS QUEENIE BY CANDICE CARTY-WILLIAMS (BOOK) Queenie Jenkins is a 25-year-old Jamaican British woman living in London, straddling two cultures and slotting neatly into neither. She works at a national newspaper, where she’s constantly forced to compare herself to her white middle class peers. After a messy break up from her long-term white boyfriend, Queenie seeks comfort in all the wrong places, including with several hazardous men who do a good job of occupying brain space and a bad job of affirming her self-worth.As Queenie careens from one questionable decision to another, she finds herself wondering, “What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Who do you want to be?”—all of the questions today’s woman must face in a world trying to answer them for her.

LET’S TALK ABOUT CONSENT by hashtagNYU Written, produced, and directed by New York University students and alumni, this video reflects 18 hours of interviews with students and recent NYU grads across New York City who shared what consent means to them, and the importance of starting a brave conversation on campus.

(Watch here) Here is a media source that explores consent in a documentary by VICE on HBO. We’re including it as a resource because it showcases a nuanced approach to discussing consent from a different vantage point from how we discuss it in the podcast. Content warning: contains stories from survivors about their experience with sexual assault.

“In the episode, HBO Correspondent Isobel Yeung leads us through a conversation about how the #MeToo movement has affected everyday people, and focuses specifically on the gray areas around consent.” - VICE Check out the short documentary here.

ARTICLES: ‘Normal People’ powerfully Portrays Sexual Consent in a Way We’ve Never Seen Before | Glamour UK Say No to Forced Affection and Respect Children’s Bodies | Wear Your Voice Mag Let’s Talk About Consent (video) | hashtagNYU Wilderness Tips: A Survival Guide for Your Sexual Adventures | Scarleteen A Brief Guide to Consenting with a Nonverbal Partner | Scarleteen From #MeToo to #WeConsent by adrienne maree brown | B***Media

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Production Team Melissa Gilliam MD, MPH Ireashia Bennett Valerie Reynolds Kaya Thomas Erisa Apantaku Liz Futrell Alizha Vernon Robin Cogdell Crystal Tyler Erin Garcia Soo Young Lee Adriana Brodyn Melissa Sherwin

Creator, Ci3 Founder and Director Co-Host, Executive Producer, Sound Engineer Senior Producer, Story Editor Co-Host, Ci3 Fellow, Producer Story Editor, Podcast Consultant Project Manager, Producer Ci3 Fellow, Producer Lead Graphic Designer Story Editor Story Editor Story Editor, Researcher Story Editor, Researcher Story Editor

Back Cover Frankly. is a seven-episode podcast that explores the health, wellbeing and lived experiences of Black and Latinx young people on Chicago’s South and West sides. Frankly. centers the voices of young people who have been marginalized due to their race, gender, and/or sexual orientation as they navigate various social environments, develop their identities, and understand the world around them. The podcast engages young people in conversations about their unique experiences with consent, healthy relationships, over-policing, sexual harassment, sex ed, and health equity. Additionally, Frankly. aims to contextualize these stories by examining the ways in which structural barriers and institutions impede young people’s overall health and wellbeing.

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The Frankly. podcast a Ci3 initiative. Ci3 is a research center at the University of Chicago, addressing the social and structural determinants of adolescent sexual and reproductive health. At Ci3, we envision a world in which all youth emerge into adulthood with agency over their bodies and futures. Ci3 is committed to empowering young people, conducting innovative research, and uncovering opportunities for policy and systemic change.

For more information visit: ci3.uchicago.edu

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